The Brentwood Beginners Workshop in Los Angeles, CA

Now let's welcome our speaker, Mike Bee.

Hi, I'm Mike. I'm a grateful recovering alcoholic and thanks for asking me to speak. It's an honor to speak at this meeting. And it's also kind of a pain in the ass

because it's a big meeting and a lot of my friends here and I've been coming to this meeting for a lot of years.

But it is an honor speak at any a meeting.

And I'm really glad I'm here tonight. So thank you

and

I

really glad to be a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. It's

really, really helped me in my life so much

and

I'm so grateful.

If you're new and you're sniffing around, keep sniffing.

It'll help,

I promise. You know, it's really

when I came around, I started coming around, I got silver young and when I first got sober, one of the first things that kind of I,

I got beat up a lot,

which is not kind of in a romantic ways. I didn't get in a lot of fights. I just got beat up. A lot

people beat me up. I got beat up actually, by a woman, by a guy dressed like a woman

back then. Back then we there weren't he wasn't there wasn't transgender or you know, it was wasn't just a dude dressed like a chick.

You know, that was just,

that was back when a guy dressed like a woman to get out of serving his country.

But I was

probably 20 years old.

I was standing on Sunset Blvd. in front of the Comedy Store. I was

hanging out with, I was a wannabe comedian hanging out with a bunch of comedians and I was drunk

and it was a cop coming by and I thought it'd be really funny to moon the cop.

And I pulled my pants down and just really went for it, spread the cheeks as wide as I could and it was like a jump cut. I was in the back of the squad car with handcuffs on,

going to jail, and I was in a holding tank with a guy dressed like a woman,

a dude dressed like a chick.

And

I was drunk enough that I just wanted to tease the guy for dressing like a chick.

And he beat me up

because he wanted to be able to say, now you got beat up by dress like a chick.

And

I wish I was able to say one day Mr. Truck is going to be president. You'll be sorry

I didn't have that foresight.

Any, any, any tagged me up pretty good and the cops let him and I spent the night in jail

and I got indecent exposure.

They were really mad. I mean, they were really, they found nothing funny about it, which was really, I was surprised because because I really did think that it was fun. Even sober the next morning, I couldn't believe that they couldn't find any humor in that.

Another time I got beat up. This was a good one. This was one of my favorites. This was even before that

I was in Detroit

and this is like one of the best things I ever did as a kid. This is something that I'm really proud of. Not this incident, but this feat that me and my friends got buried, I put together because I grew up in Detroit.

We loved cars and I had this. I had this old Oldsmobile that I had paid like $750 for and my friends Scott Perry had a Chevy Nova

and we had

work this out. Woodward Ave. was the main drag of Detroit, and we had worked out this thing where we could drive up Woodward Ave. in our two kind of they were big metal cars and we could be going like 40 miles an hour, even 50 miles an hour. If we were going at the same speed.

We could slam into each other really hard and it would look like something in the movies and we wouldn't do much damage to each other's car. But the people around us would flip out

and we would just really like bam into each other. We could just see we pull up their leg and people, what the hell happened, you guys? All right? And we would drive all night just doing this stunt.

And I work, I had a job at the Maple House, which was like a restaurant. And the best part about the job was we used to just afterwards, we all get drunk in the break room. And I got really drunk one night and I was driving down the road and I saw my friend Scott Perry on Woodward Ave. And I just was so excited and pulling up next to him. And I'm just slamming into him and slamming into him. And we're just, we're just doing our gag and we're just, I'm just loving

doing it even better than I've ever done it before. And I pull up to the light and it's not Scott Perry.

And this guy gets out of the car and he beats the living shit out.

And again another guy with no sense of humor.

These people, what I find about non drinkers at this point in my life,

they just don't get the joke.

And that's really the story of how I really came around to it. My thing was I just ended up kind of beating up a lot, you know, and just kind of at the point. And the other thing that really happened to me was I was very lucky in that I had at a young age. And when I say young age, it didn't. I didn't feel young at the time.

I was maybe 2425. I had a talent agent who I really looked up to.

He was a really good guy

and he had taken me on

and he called me up. His name was Marty Klein. He was a really good guy. He was an older guy

and he handled like a lot of country western artists and a lot of comedians

and he had taken me on as a young man, you know, and,

and really believed in me.

And a few years later, he called me up

in about one afternoon and he goes, what are you doing? I said nothing. He goes, you're sleeping, aren't you? I said, no, no, it was two in the afternoon and I was, I was asleep. And he said, no, you're you're in bed.

No, no, I'm not working. I'm working on my ass.

Listen, I want you to know something. I never drop clients ever. I just wait for them to just, I don't call them. I don't and just wait for them to go on and find someone else. But I'm going to drop you off my list. I don't want you on my list. You're a talented kid and you're obviously you're messed up. You're getting yourself into trouble,

and I don't. I don't want, I don't want you on my list. Oh, come on. You're so overreacting. What do you do?

And he said, no, I'm serious. I don't want you. I don't want to represent you.

And that really woke me up. It really did. And he did me a big favor. He really did me a big favor because I was heavily invested and it, it didn't overnight get me sober,

but it was a big thing, you know, and you know, we, we, we people do us favors and we sometimes don't know, you know, there was another guy who was a doorman at the Comedy Store who didn't drink.

And I was hung out with a bunch of guys that drank and party. And this guy was a good friend of mine and he wrote me this letter.

And years later I was moving and I found it in the body. Years later, I was maybe 20 years sober and I found this letter

and I love this guy. I love this guy. And he wrote me this letter and he said, Mike, your behavior last night was so

horrible. I want you to know there's no reason for a 23 year old to have been drinking and behaving and acting the way you behaved. And you're a talented young kid. And he went on and on and on. And I'm telling you this, you need

to get some help. And I, I remember thinking

this guy, This is why nobody likes this guy.

This is what this guys problem is. And I'm not talking about you Terry. There's other reasons why nobody election which

came in just in time,

but I'll start over now.

But this Carol made this letter, you know, at 20 years sober, I found it. I was so touched because you realize that people are trying to help you. People are trying to touch you. People understand what you don't understand because

your disease has gotten you by your throat and it won't let you go,

you know. And that's, that was my story even. And I was a young kid and everybody around me knew it. And you know, the other side of my story was that my family was all back in Detroit, so I was out here alone.

So when I finally got sober, I would call my family and tell them, look, you know, I'm going to Alcoholics Anonymous and I'm sober. And they go, you don't have a problem with alcohol. You don't drink. You're just wild.

So they don't they really. It's something was so funny and I'm such a Gemini anyway. They didn't really understand, you know, my dad used to say to me, Jews don't drink. I'd say, which Jews do you? Are you hanging out with?

But the beautiful thing was I found Alcoholics Anonymous, you know, and when I first found alcohol, it's Anonymous, I turned and I walked out. I was at the rodeo me And then they were talking about God and it was a church and I went thanks anyways. And you know, thank God. Mickey Bush and Mike Lally and another guy

that followed me out into the parking lot

chasing me down

and said what's going on? And I said

too much God talking here, you know, I don't believe in God. I'm Jewish, you know, He said, oh, you guys don't believe in God.

And I said, I'm not really sure

question, I'll get back to you.

I just know anything to leave is what I really wanted. You know, I just I

the idea that church was really odd to me, but they were really part was was all the the God thing And the the the truth is that I later just so down as the fact that it was free

spooked me

because it was too easy. If it was free, that meant you wanted something later. You know, that that meant I was doing yard work somewhere.

You know, it just, it was too good to be true. And I didn't buy the fact that the love stuff, you know, that didn't seem right to me, that that seemed like a lie.

And

these guys were really good to me. These, these guys and a few other guys, they really stayed with me and they called me.

They called me and they made sure I had literature.

And you know, it's so funny to think about it. I hate to sound like an old man, but but back then, you know, you didn't have a phone on you, you know? Yeah, you know, they, they left messages with your service or something. I don't even know how they phoned you. You know, they, they and I don't know, I had AI had a service that I would check in with. So obviously they were leaving some service, you know, Mickey Bush loading Lush and Limey call, you know, and left some weird

assorted message of letters driving words. I don't know, a woman's reading some shit from Mickey Bush. That must have been weird, but but they they did. And, you know, and they and and it still didn't work for me. I came in and out a long time and then I started going to these men's tags over here and, and, and

in Santa Monica.

And I met all these guys, you know, in the back of a pancake house.

And I met Fred Ellis, Bob Horrigan and Milton

Kimball brothers and Richard Weiner and,

and all these guys. And you know,

and I'll tell you if you're, if you're new and, and you got a guide program problem with this program, get over it. You know, just get over it because you will. This is a God program for me at least. It's that's what it's come down to. It's everyday how much I can get in the light, you know, how close I can get to feeling that I'm not working on mic power,

working on what I call God power, you know, And these guys would explain that to me

in their way and through their laughter and through their sense of humor and through their caring, you know, and, and we would go to meetings, you know, and,

and, you know, it's just the men and women that I met in a a, they just, they had a different kind of light than than women and men that I met at nightclubs, you know, and if you're coming around, you're going to see that you're going to go, you know, this is a different side of the street to be walking on, you know, and it's the same journey home.

It's just a different side of the street,

you know? And it's nice. It really is, you know, And it's,

it's work. It really is work.

You know,

there's, there's work to be done here. You know you're only going to get out of this program what you put into it.

You know,

you can come here right before the meeting starts and leave early or leave right when it ends. Or you can say hi to everyone, go. Or you can really be part of this thing, get in the middle of the pack

and really get to know everybody and really work these steps and

meet these people and bring new guys along and sponsor them and care about them and call them and you'll get a lot out of this,

you know, And that's I don't, I don't think works the wrong, wrong words. It's just that's the path to the power, you know? That's the way, you know, I've come to realize that when my phone rings,

I can let it ring or I can pick it up. But if I pick it up, I'm going to get something out of it. That's, that's the way I'm going to get connected,

you know,

and I have a lot of great examples in my life of guys that really, really work the program and really get a lot out of it,

you know,

And I, you know, I, I really,

you know, I'm just really lucky, you know, I, I am with these guys and these people all the time that really, really, you know, with my buddy Clay all the time. And I see him. I see the way he works in programming.

No, Richie has no Richie for so many years. You know,

I was going to say Richard Wayne, but he doesn't work that good of a problem. He's fun to be around,

but it's, it's really been a blessing for me. It's really been a blessing. And, you know,

it's really someone wants to pull right up West Side Pavilion the other day

talking about going to Akron, OH and visiting Doctor Bob's house. And I remember I did that. I remember I was three or four years sober and and I was and I went there and I visited Doctor Bob's house and, you know, I was went to the gym where the first meeting was. And you know, there was a buzz to it. You know this, there's a lineage to this thing that if you really.

If you really trace it, it's, it's pretty incredible, you know,

You know, I remember thinking, wow, this is the burping wall here. This is, this is pretty, this is what Judy, this is the diversion of Judaism, you know, or, or whatever that is, you know, this is not a religion, but it's pretty damn close, you know, and, and it's, it's pretty powerful,

you know,

and what I'm at today

is, you know,

it's just a constant thing. You know, I,

it never ends, You know, it's, you know, there's that great line of in parenthood about parenthood and parenthood's like your Aunt Edna's ass. It just goes and goes and there's never end insight. You know, sobriety is the same way. It's just like, you know, when do, when do I get to the point where it's just easy, you know, where I just, OK, I got sobriety down, but it doesn't work that way. You know, you just got to keep working. It just got to keep

peeling the onion, as they say, you know, and working the steps and figuring it out,

getting to another level, you know, and, and

you know, it, it just, you know, it's, it's doing more footwork and, you know, getting up in the morning,

quiet time writing and meditating. And you know, I, I personally, what works for me is a God letter. You know, I get up in the morning and I just do it.

I just have never done anything that works any better than just writing, dear God, and then whatever, as if I'm writing a relative or something and then I write to God. Is that are you signaling me? Is that 5 minutes? No, no, but

damn it.

And I write a dear God letter, you know, And then I sit there as quiet as I can,

you know, hoping that my wife will come down and start talking to me.

Is this really hard for me to sit quietly? It's really hard. I've never really mastered meditation, but I can do it, you know, 15 minutes. Just sit there quietly and breathe. Listen to my breath

and then I go for a walk and I call.

Try to call as many of the guys as I can and have a good talk.

I try to listen, you know, some days of

someone in there and listens to me and some days I'm listening to someone another at, you know,

and that just seems to work in those days. When I get that down and that's my first hour of the day for some reason, it's just a better day. It's just a better day. And the days when I just get up and go, it's just not as good a day,

you know? And that's,

and, you know, 33 years in, that's where I'm at. You know, it just,

that's what I meant.

When I get up and I put the work into it, it works. And when I get up and I don't put the work into it, it doesn't work. You know, it's I keep waiting. My God, you know what I had, I put so much work into it yesterday, but I got four days. I just skid. But it doesn't work that way. It's like I wake up in the next day and it's an empty tank.

And Fred Ellis used to say you can't stay clean on yesterday's prayers. What do you say? Yes, you can't say

yesterday's show. Yeah, can't stay clean on yesterday's shower.

Half the things that Fred Ellis said, I don't think he used to, really, said people. People have given Fred Ellis a lot of great quotes,

but Ellison, for those of you remember, he was. This is really calm guy.

This is really common, sweet guy. He's so great to me. And then John Kimball told me that he knew him before he was sober, and he was. The grouchy old man down the street was always yelling at everybody.

That's that's a testament to how great it is

and I don't know.

So you guys want to sing for a little bit?

You can do hymns.

Open up the questions.

Yes.

Anyone have any questions?

Go ahead, Matt,

you want me to talk about the relationship with my higher power? Were you not listening for the last 15 minutes?

What do you say

how it's evolved?

It it's really, it has evolved, you know, I mean, I mean, that's really the whole thing for me. It's it's, it's a real thing. My whole program is about my relationship with God. You know, when I trust God, everything's working out good for me. And when I'm trying to do it all myself and making everything fit and everything work, I'm miserable, you know, and, and what I'm, you know, like I say, I always when I'm Mike powered, I'm just kind of,

I'm kind of a whiny guy, you know, And when I'm God powered,

I'm pretty powerful, you know, because it's not me and I'm just, and I let it happen. And that's just what I've learned from you guys. And

and that's, and it has evolved and that's what I met and it, and that's the part that's frustrating because I keep thinking, OK, I got this. I know how to live a God centered light. I know how to live in the light. And then all of a sudden I'm back taking control of everything and making it work. And I've gotten so much from a a I've, I've got an incredible life. I've got an incredible wife, you know, I've got two incredible kids.

Fucking horns.

I've got, you know, I've just got everything, you know, and, and, and, and I just all of a sudden I'll just, you know,

just be miserable.

But that's a good question, Matt. Thanks a lot.

It was Wednesday, so I remember perfectly

what he wanted to know. My last drink was like,

yeah, it was rum and Coke

and it was, it was. There were about 12 of them

and there was cocaine and marijuana and they were free because I worked at the Comedy Store and we never had to pay for the drinks

and

and that's what I drank. Then I drank Heineken and rum and Coke

and a lot of them.

Thanks.

Are you buying later

that letter? 20 years after?

Yeah,

think about.

I was curious, like where in your

I was. I could say it was about 20 years sober and I was,

I was very he asked me about the letter that I had read that a friend had written me when I was a young guy about how horrible my drinking was. And I called him and thanked him. I still have the letter to this day. You know, I really do. And The funny thing about that letter was my friend didn't drink, and he lives up in the Montana now, and he started drinking.

He started drinking and he became a really bad drinker.

And

I spoke to about it and I reminded him and

he moved up to Montana.

This is really weird. He's a great guy

and he went to a Bible class

and he found God and he stopped drinking and he hadn't had it. He didn't go to a A, but he went to a Bible class every Tuesday night. And he really, really got this deep connection to God and these guys at this Bible class. And he asked him to drink in 10 years.

But he did go through a period where was just drinking Scotch like crazy and it was really killing himself. And I was going, do I need to write you a letter? Because,

Clark,

that's a good question. Did I grow up in alcoholic home? The funny thing about it is my father drank.

My mother didn't drink a lot, but my father drank. But he didn't drink alcoholic wood, and that was the problem. And my father was one of these guys. He had this beautiful liquor cabinet in our house

and he he

truly just did not believe in drugs. He was just one of these guys that don't do drugs. We had four boys and he was like, do not do drugs. If you guys want to drink, you got all this foods here, you can drink, but don't do drugs. And he was talking to kids 9 to 15,

and he was sincere. So he would go out and we would sit around watching Gildan's island. Make him drink.

No, would you make a point each other cocktails, you know, watching and and

learning how to mix cocktails and shit. And you'd come home and my parents would come home. We'd all be passed out on the couch. All isn't that cute? And that's how we learn to drink. And and I started drinking. I I truly started drinking at about 11 years old.

My father, I never, I saw my father drunk one time my whole life and he would drink and come home from work every day, pour himself a Scotch and never finish it.

Mike talked about

being comedian and I wondered, especially at a young age, being a creative person, was the idea of not doing drugs and alcohol that you think, Oh my God, how am I going to be?

Yeah. The question is, was the idea of being a comedian without drugs and alcohol scary? And it was, it was. But it wasn't as scary as being up here in front of all these people tonight. But but it was, you know, it's I always, I was always hired. I always worked high

and

I was came from an age where all the good comedians were always messed up,

you know? And when I got sober, I didn't go on stage for two years,

you know,

And truthfully, I stopped doing comedy. I haven't done it in 25 years. So it never worked for me as being sober anyway.

So I think it is the whole notion of being on stage in front of a bunch of drunk people anyway didn't work for me. It is, it is a drinking man's thing, you know, it's, you know, but, but I do think

as far as writing and, and

creating, you don't need drugs and alcohol the right to create you. I, I, I at a very early age, I was writing all these scripts and this sounds corny, but I was writing all these screenplays and none of them made any sense and none of them sold. And early on someone said to me, why don't you get on your knees and ask God to help you, right? And I got on my knees

late tonight in my apartment one night and ask God for some help. And I wrote a script and that was the first script that sold.

So, so, you know, basically every morning before I write, I ask God for help. I say, I'll type you right. You know, So that's where I, I get my power from God. I don't get them from drugs and alcohol.

Richie just better be good. As you can see, I'm on A roll here tonight. And if you're the guy that stops me dead,

I think, What do the youngest comedians ever appear in national television? I was.

And The Tonight Show.

Yes,

I was the youngest comedian ever behind the Carson show, but I didn't. I didn't get hired that day.

I went on to David Letterman Show high.

I'm all proud,

but I did I got some I got some trouble going on television high. That's one of the reasons the guy dumped me. But I would I had trouble. I had trouble. I get these big shows and I get the pressure would be all up and I I couldn't stop myself. I needed a belt of something or a snort or a you know, but that day I didn't, you know, and,

and,

and, and it was a problem. It was a problem. It was very hard to do these high pressure things without, without help, you know, and it was very hard. It was how when you're looking, when your source is

something like drugs or alcohol, you know,

like I say, you know, the, the, the evolution for me was that my source became God and the light and you guys. And, and it really, it really got to the point where I would go on these shows or I would go on these things and I would shut the door and get on my knees and ask God to go ahead of me under that panel and sit down next to the host, you know, and, and, and get help like that,

you know,

But it really in the early days, yeah, you know, and it was, it was hard. It was really hard because for me, with coke and marijuana, you have to time it perfectly.

So if the guest before you talks too much, man, you're in trouble.

And that happened a lot,

right? Remember the time the old lady?

There's an old lady talked too much, remember?

The biggest personality change

that it has happened to me in sobriety. I think I have less of a temper.

Seriously, I think my temper has gotten a lot better. I had a bad temper, I think.

I think I'm more accepted of things.

A lot of this is about getting older. I'm old, you know, I mean, a lot of it is just that's the other thing. A lot of it, a lot of things about being sober is just kind of just grow up a little bit, you know, and, and, and you know, you know, but I think

there's growth to be had here. That's the thing. I always think, you know, there's really growth to be had. You, you, you accept people a little bit more and you don't, you know,

you don't get as mad at people or you obviously, you know, one of the things you're quicker to make amends

because you know, you're going to have to make amends. I mean, my favorite story is I was driving down the road one morning going to work and this guy and I got started giving each other the finger. He was in a plumber's truck

and I called the number on the back

said, hey, yeah, listen, I'm driving following your truck driver and he's driving crazy. This guy, I don't know, man. It's, it's, I don't know. I don't, I think you should get him off the road. I think he's driving premium. It might be drunk or something.

OK, well we'll look into it, Sir.

Thinking this guy's going to work cleaning out toilets and shit. I'm going to work on a TV show and what am I doing?

So I call back,

I go, hey, I'm, I'm the guy I just called about the guy driving crazy. Yes, Sir. I'm I'm getting the boss on the other line. No, no, no, no, no. Listen, here's the thing. He he's not driving crazy.

You mean he stopped? No, no, he never was driving crazy. But what do you mean

I made it up?

Hold on. Can I just put you on hold, Sir?

OK, so I made the whole thing up and I lied and I'm sorry. I have to go click.

And the point is, you know, you start to realize you're going to be making these amends, so you might as well not do this bullshit in the 1st place. If you really work in a program, you're going to be saying you're sorry. You know, it's like Nancy with the pillow tonight, right? You know.

I'm teasing.

The topic of 1,000,044 is meaningful and successful and substantial. Amazing. I mean, I can't hear you, I'm sorry.

On the topic of amends will do a substantial and meaningful amains you may

I'm going to make amends to Nancy right after this meeting.

The most topical, the most meaningful amends I make is he's asking

God. That's a really good question. You know,

probably to my mother. You know, I was just, I made some serious amends to my mother and

I

really, you know, honestly,

my mother and some of my old friends and my younger brother,

you know,

but

I'm going to tell you when I did my fifth step, 4th step, I found out the biggest amends I owed it was to myself. I caused myself a lot of pain, you know, and I, I, I owed a lot of amends, but they were rickety tickety shit. You know, the one that I really caused a lot of real damage to was myself,

you know, and I think that's so, you know, I have a son that's 22 years old who just had a year couple days ago.

And he's young and I imagine that that's probably where he's at, you know, because when you're, when you're young, you know, I, I just, I, I don't, you know, I, I think it's, you haven't gone through families and, and you know, and Rob, you know what I mean?

I don't know. But that that's what was my thing. I mean, I really owed my mother a lot of I just took some really horrible things to her.

Can you talk about

raising your kids in the sober household and how you wove Alcoholics Anonymous and

you know, your meetings and everything? Sure, you talked about race, how I raised kids in a sober household. Well, I was really lucky. I have 33 years in all a couple weeks and my wife has she's older than me. She's got 40 some years,

she's got 32 years, 34 years, two years old. She's got more. She's older in a age. She's younger than me but she was a much worse drunk than I was.

They the main bar bathrooms after her in many states.

But we have raised, we have over 24 year old and a 22 year old and they've never seen us sober and they sober never seen us loaded. And they ran around this room and they ran

a rooms and

and it's really interesting. You know, I have a daughter, We have a daughter

and she is not an alcoholic. She can have a glass of wine and be done with it.

She's a kleptomaniac.

But and then I have a son who was so obvious to me earlier and was an alcoholic. It just the traits. You could just feel it, but you know, you know, and he's just, he was an alcoholic, but you know, he just every fiber you'd be in, you just hope you're wrong. You hope you're wrong and then you know you're right. And then you know shit and you know, and then it just gets worse and worse and worse.

And then he went to college

and he came home from college. He's not here, is he? But he's a great guy. I mean, all these guys know him. They have any. He came home from college and he was just gone. It just wasn't he. And he would every night came home sick,

you know the story. He came home sick every morning and he just wouldn't get a job. And and you know, I was very hiring to get a job, but I never said anything about AAI. Just something in my gut said, don't mention the drinking, don't mention a a just don't do it. Don't do it. And I shared with these guys that I, my brother, that these guys here are my brothers. I I'm with them all the time, every day at meetings.

Everyone of these guys never said anything to that to him, but talk to them. And every time I share. And

one day he just called me and he said, hey, dad, will you take me to one of those meetings?

And I said, yeah, absolutely, let's go. And, you know, my first reaction was, OK, but I'll take, I'll take you to mind this men's stag I go to with these old guys, you know, but but you'll probably want to go to, you know, the Ohio St. Young's people's meeting. And he's like, no, no, I like this meeting. I'll go to attend with you tomorrow.

And he just kept going and he took about a year Tuesday

and he loves it. And it worked for him. I, I don't know what the future is, but he's got a sponsor, He's working the steps he loves a it worked for him. I don't know why

he's something picked. Maybe he picked it up over the years, you know, but

I don't know how you raise a kid in a but and I don't know how one family it works when it doesn't, and I don't know the future for this one. But my only thing is I got lucky with him so far and and that he's and I feel like one of the things is you can't

he'll say something to me and I'll go. Don't talk to me about it. Go talk to your sponsor

or talk to one of the other guys. I'm not the guy to talk to this stuff. I don't talk any stuff with them. I just don't want to, you know, I just don't want it. And speaking at a meeting on Saturday. I don't want to go, you know, I just feel like there's got to be a, a wall between us. He's got to be have his own a program and I can't be the guy that he talks to about a a stuff

I might be. I don't I didn't read that in a book or anywhere. I just feel like that's my personal take on it.

What actually happened?

What was my bottom? We are not here for the 1st 20 minutes. Oh sorry, I'm not, I don't mean to be smart ass.

I was just born that way.

What what happened from me in the AA? I was drinking too much.

No, I'm sorry. No, I mean, I I was telling you the whole story. I,

I'm sorry,

I mean no, nothing other than what I was saying. I just,

I was, he's asking what happened, what brought me in.

I I really just there, there was no, not one thing. It just it, it just, I got arrested. I got beat up by a guy just like a girl.

I made the decision

honestly, nothing else worked. I kept trying to stop drinking and it didn't work. And a guy a a, a guy that I knew told me about a A and took me down to rodeo and, and I've never even heard of any in Detroit. I never even heard of it. I was too young when I was in Detroit. I've never even heard of alcohol. Synonymous.

When he When he first told me about Alcoholics Anonymous, I had no idea what it was. So I really wasn't any one thing,

you know what I mean? It wasn't a judge or anything effective you're asking. And I never did a rehab program. I really just kind of came here because I wanted to meet women.

I wanted to meet drunks.

Is that it?

Thank you very much.