The topic of step 11 at a Sponsorship through the 12 steps workshop in London, UK

OK, thank you. To set the tone for the meeting, I will read an extract from A Vision for you, page 164.

Our book is meant to be suggestive only. We realize we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick. The answers will come if your own house is in order, but obviously you cannot transmit something you haven't got. See to it that your relationship with Him is right and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the great fact for us,

and the topic of tonight's meeting is working. Step 11 with the Sponsee

and Tim will share anything between 30 and 45 minutes on the topic, after which the floor will be open for questions rather than the typical sharing. And with that, I want to hand over to Tim,

Semi alcoholic. Very glad to be here. Thank you. Thank you for for listening.

I was, I just be talking to myself, Step 11. I think is, is is tricky for all sorts of reasons.

I knew someone around, oh, 28 years ago in a, a who is, who is very good, is about 8 years sober at the time, and who very spiritual and did all sorts of remarkable spiritual things and went on retreats.

And

whenever he shared, it was always about that, you know,

the spiritual path and all of these wonderful things he was doing and, and books and courses and enlightenment and all that sort of stuff. But he drifted away from

a A, which he sort of saw as a, a starting point for the spiritual journey.

And he, as it were, graduated and poor old thing end up and ends up in the drink. And I think that did for him.

So he had some other medical conditions which weren't helped by the drinking.

And that's not an unusual, that's not an unusual story.

People who are sober longer than me have said that in a a we lose as many people out of the top, you know, if not into career and romance and money and materialism,

into spiritual paths and religion. And I, I have seen that happen

and it is wonderful. Until of course, you have a little drink

and then then you know,

so much for the chanting at that point or whatever else you're doing. So there's a, there's a great difficulty there, but it's very attractive, all of that sort of stuff. And I find it very attractive. And I've gone a long way in, in the direction of religion, spirituality. But in my case, the cart very easily comes before the horse and I can forget what it's about.

And the other end of the scale as well. When you've got, you know, there's very good sponsees

who want to do everything they do, want to do everything right, they want to do the program right and they have a problem. They say, right, I'm going to I'm going to up my prayer and meditation. And

again, the danger can be can be that one amplifies the self absorption, absorb absorption with one's own spiritual path. Now, of course, Step 11 is a bit of a damp squib really compared to,

you know, gurus and retreats and Goa and Nepal or whatever these destinations are. There was a wonderful,

it was I, I think, you know, there's fake Ladybird books. Like there were those children's books introducing children to various aspects of the world. Well, Ladybird books and they, they've done a number of, of parody ones in the last few years. And one of them was the Ladybird Book of Meditation,

and there was a picture and it was always sort of fake. 1970s illustrations remember the sort of style of illustrations of children's books in the 1970s.

And it was, I won't get the caption right, but it was something like Susie was very upset to discover a Buddhist centre opening round the corner in Chiswick when she hoped her boyfriend was going to pay for a trip to Thailand for her.

And The thing is about step 11 as it was written in the and the big book and there's a bit of a, a history there. So it cut a, a comes for better or for worse, from a form of so-called 1st century Christianity, which is non doctrinal, but very definitely Christian. So non doctrinal in that, you know, if you're whether you are sort of high Anglican or an Episcopalian. They weren't too bothered. I think they they raised

eyebrows a little bit at Catholics, but

but the point was is to have a direct relationship with God, to get direct guidance. So it was not about exalted emotional states or

or states of consciousness. It was about getting direct, concrete, clear guidance about what to do. And so step 11 is very disappointing if you're on a spiritual path because it says praying only

only for knowledge of God's will for us and the power to carry that out.

And so when directing and also the other thing about, so it's one end of the scale you've got is very, very keen responses that that want to invest a lot in their their spiritual life. And then you've got people at the other end of the scale

that that you know, wouldn't know the higher power if it stood up in their suit

and, and don't really care for any of that woo woo stuff. They, they was a rather poor scorn on it. And being a bit of a chameleon, I, I flipped myself between those two, two extremes.

So one minute very attractive and the other minute rather sort of off put by it all. And so at the other end of the extreme, other end of the scale, you've got sponsees who don't want anything to do with spirituality in the ordinary sense, the word in in the language, and they're not interested in meditation in its current meaning.

And I think the antidote for for both categories and therefore for everyone in between. It seems to stick very, very closely to the wording. So sought to improve our conscious contact with God. Now I'll come to the word, improve that because people make a great play of it.

Improve our conscious contact with God, praying only for knowledge of His bill for us and the power to carry that out. Now it talks instead of 10 about having entered the world of the Spirit

and it talks in step 12 about having a spiritual awakening. And the, the, the, the,

the most important fact of our lives is, is the, is the consciousness of the presence of God and all that sort of stuff. And as I said, I think in an earlier, earlier week,

consciousness, conscious contact with God, I don't think all it can be conscious contact with a being. Sometimes people sense a being,

but it doesn't need to be that. It means contact in my consciousness. So when I'm aware either of the knowledge of God's will for me, when I'm suddenly clear about what I need to do in a situation and it just comes as a bolt from the blue, or when I feel

sufficient resources to do that, I literally have conscious contact with God,

or at least with the commodities that come from God. So this can all be pitched in a way which is palatable.

So people that have a problem with God and religion and spirituality, it's very, very practical. It's it's about the business end of the relationship with God about what what God wants me to do today.

Bob D very good on all of this. If you can catch I I can't. I don't know which talk, but I've heard him say it on a number of occasions about the,

about the, the dangers of going too far into the other spiritual paths and saying when he gets off track, he he remembers he has to do that other stuff

in addition to not say that. I'm not, I'm not saying don't do it if you want to go and do whatever religious or spiritual things and knock yourself out. But one does it in addition to step 11 in the book, not instead of and it comes under the heading of There are many useful books also

suggestions about these may be obtained from one's priest, minister or a rabbi. And be quick to see where religious people are right. And there are other points in the big book where it does point you towards, you know, go and find, go and rejoin your local religious or spiritual community,

right? I think that's absolutely right, that the core of it is this knowledge of God's will for me and the power to carry that out. So what do I do with sponsee? Well, first of all, I explain all that which is the the premise behind it and all the other stuff which does alter your consciousness and raise your consciousness and establish a sense of safety and identity in God or purpose in God or valuing God is all very, very good.

But I've got a friend in Bristol

say his name because, well, I shouldn't really, that's why.

But he sticks very, very closely to this notion and he's sober a very long time, very closely to this notion of God being good orderly direction. It's a very British way of looking at it, I think. Good orderly direction as a chap in Somerset, I know sort of 4550 years sober who's who's, who's very similar, very, very practical, doesn't talk about God at all. But my friend in Bristol reports him as saying whenever he sees this chap in Somerset,

his car is always full of newcomers.

And I think that's the best demonstration of spirituality is people are on the phone the whole time. My friend Melody, when I was new,

whenever you said Melody, can we go for a coffee? She said, well, no. I'm meeting a new Comer outside Ponce Street. I'm meeting a newcomer outside the world MPI. She's always meeting a newcomer. There's spiritual thing you can do. I think is is meet or talking to a newcomer. So

step 11 in the book is is very much about so if the substance of the day is step 12,

so high consciousness service within AA, service outside AA, our step 11 is the means. So as soon as someone has committed to the program,

however in whatever rudimentary way I give them, I've got a little little note that I get and say this is what a daily program looks like and it includes, it includes step 11, basically the instructions from from page 86 to 88. So they're doing this

right from the beginning, I guess them to get a little coterie of pals together.

I direct them towards some particular people who I sponsor, who I know a safe pair of hands for this and say you what you want to do is you want to run through your day, your previous 24 hours with someone, do a review. If they want you to send it, you send the review. So you do a review and you talk it through with someone else. Let the corrective measures from there flow into the plan for the next day. Do a plan for the day, run it past a grown up

and to run it past someone who is going to be actively feeding back and interfering with it.

It's no good having someone's just going to say, Oh yes, marvellous to everything when it's not because people don't they I'm I didn't know how to live. I had no clue. Dumb one, dumb idea after another. Someone described history as one damn thing after another. That's what my plans for the day look like one damn thing after another. So I needed people to say that's how really, really bad idea. So I encourage people to find a group of because what? What you don't want with your sponsees is for them to become dependent

on you or to see you as some kind of sole authority. There's a tradition in AAA. Friend of mine in New York was it. I'm sure I've told this story. I've got limited numbers. So it's like a merry go round. All the horses come round again eventually. Do you just have to sit and watch it for long enough?

Friend in New York was at a meeting and the secretary

didn't show up or the chair didn't.

Sherlock, the person who's going to be taking the meeting is sober and said, you know, Steve, can you take the, can you take the meeting tonight? He said, I'll just check with my sponsor. And he went over the road and went over and asked his sponsor if he could do this, if this was allowed and and the sponsor gave him a sort of papal blessing

and then he went and took the meeting. So I

established

Tim, we've kind of lost you. Has everybody else lost him?

Yeah,

just as he was describing the chair disappearing as well,

frozen.

Yeah, this is a unique situation.

So

we should now ask our sponsors what to do? Yeah,

I think he's lost connection. Oh,

OK, you'll see he's disappeared. Maybe he'll rejoin, hopefully.

Right. Where did I lose you?

April bless, papal blessing. April blessing. So he gave us papal. Luckily I've got 2 Internet connections so we're we're good eventually. Anyway, the point is what you don't want is to become like the sole source, the only person they're talking to. They've got to be talking to a whole bunch of people and getting to know a bunch of people. Often

they, you know, you give them a half a dozen people to talk to, they discover they like them more and immediately switch to them as sponsors. This is good.

If there's someone better, they should be with that person. You don't want to hug everyone to yourself. This is also great for your own sponsees because it gives them an opportunity to be trained on people without having like the full responsibility. So people get used to what the practice looks like without, you know, formally having these as, as permanent sponsors. And it shares the work around the group really, because if you're sober a long time, you're just going to get asked a lot.

So I get people to work with them, evening review and their morning planning for the day, which must be integrated. So the corrective measures you need to flow into the next morning's planning. I get them to run through that with some people, find the people it works well with, and then

come to me with any headlines every day.

What what I'm discovering at the moment, I sort of stopped doing this for a while, but I think it's the best thing.

While I may change my mind, but I think the best thing is with anyone in the first few months is to be calling you daily and it doesn't need to be a protracted conversation. What I get people to do is to call daily with whatever step work they've completed in the last 24 hours, or call daily and call daily with whatever particular instruction I've given someone recently, which works very well. What's your biggest internal problem of the last 24 hours? What's your biggest external problem of the last 24 hours?

And that's very helpful because it means you can feed them solutions right from the beginning because this is the, you know, the spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it. Some people will come to you to do a sort of academic run through the program, but they want everyone to stay out of their lives. And their lives are a catastrophe. And what you don't want is to sort of wait while these, you know, catastrophes are unfurling around them, like wondering why they're so crazy when it's because no one

the crap that's going on. So I find that everything if I'm doing that what you know, what's the biggest drama, internal drama, external drama or the last 24 hours, which you process already talked to a couple of people about. So by the time it's processed with a couple of people, you get a much cleaner version than the kind of raw sewage which you know, comes out of people when the situation is completely fresh. If you have fresh raw sewage, I'm not sure that's appropriate metaphor, but anyway,

you get the point.

By the time they've talked to a couple of people, it's clearer already, and then you can really provide helpful direction. They know what's happened. They've they've worked, they figured, figured out at least the basics. So you're integrating the program with their life right from the beginning, but you're not the sole authority. There's a whole group of people. If you've got five people telling them you're crazy, you're approaching, that you know this is not helping,

then they'll believe it. If it's one person, it's them against you

and I've had a lot of them against me against the sponsee in the past when they that does not happen, but there's a whole group of people they're talking to who have got their heads screwed on. They don't think that it's one person against them. It's the power of the group and but it works through there being, you know, lots of 1 to one interactions regarding the content of the evening and the morning routines.

If people want to do their, you know, their readings and their breathing and the chanting and all that, obviously I'm not going to disturb any of that. But the morning has to contain the plan for the day. And I get people at the beginning to do pretty strict plans

of the day. And this, I think this is so important, particularly the ones who are slippery in terms of the the not drinking bit of the program. Because very often what people will do is leave huge chunks of time in which the thoughts spontaneously then occurs to them to drink. And of course it isn't spontaneously carrying a specifically left a four hour gap.

Between work and having to be home in order to, I'll just figure something out in the moment, knowing subconsciously but that when they get to that,

oh, I feel like a drink now and then they go and drink. I need my schedule when I was new was nailed down for me so that I knew at every moment of the day exactly where I was supposed to be and there wasn't. I couldn't have squeezed. You couldn't have squeezed. You couldn't have squeezed a cigarette paper in between the various appointments in my schedule, let alone a full blown relapse. My first sponsor, Doug, said that the worst thing for an alcoholic is unstructured free time.

So I get people with the morning meditation to focus very much on a solid plan for the day.

And sometimes I've reviewed these and that people write the most extraordinary things. I can't tell you all the wonderful things because in case that person's listening to this tape, but people can make a meal out of ordinary everyday things. I'll just leave it at that. Like stuff which would take you or me 8 minutes,

4 minutes, 2 minutes. There's like a whole hour set aside, you know,

so that the, the plans are very revealing about what's actually going on for them. The other thing about the daily call, which so in the morning, by the time they get to you, hopefully they've done a nice early morning meeting, lots of seven A at 636-6637 AM meetings around, particularly in continental Europe. There are, if you're in the UK,

you can get to 8:00 AM meetings in Europe, which are 7:00 AM in the UK. There are. So hopefully they, by the time they speak to you at around 9:00, they've been to a meeting, they've gone through their review from the night before, they've done a plan for the day. They've run it past a couple of people. Then you can really add value as a sponsor on the top of all of that. Also the other thing I find with this daily calling people are this, this is like this is kind of dog psychology thing.

People are much more vulnerable in the morning

in that I don't mean in terms of woundable, I mean they're kind of not with it enough to conceal what's going on. By the time they got to the evening, they've been performing for 12 hours and they're these, you know, perfect representations of what someone should be in the morning. People are just aren't with it enough to cover their tracks and listen to what people say and how they say. It's super revealing. It's not what they it's the things they inadvertently say. It's the language. It's the language they use, which

fields, what's, what's really going, going on, and that provides the material for the conversation most of the time.

I mean, one thing which I've had in it is one particular person, if they're listening, yeah, if you're listening and you recognize yourself, you're not the only one. It's not all about you. Some of us, a very common topic is about discipline with the program. And it does indeed in step 11, talk about God will discipline us. But when when I've noticed when people say I need more discipline,

the problem is a lack of enthusiasm. Because when you're enthusiastic about something, you don't need discipline. And it's just like the drinking. I didn't need discipline to drink every day because I was enthusiastic about it.

So, so someone, you know, and it, I, I get, I think someone says it about once a week. Yeah, I need to be more disciplined about this. And of course, that won't work. Absolutely won't work. Because if you, if you could muster the discipline, you would have done it already. It's not about discipline

when people don't realize they're gonna reveal anything by saying I have no idea because it's an aside and it looks like it looks like it's the right thing to say. So listen, I, I try and listen very, very careful. I read between the lines in those conversations

with the Evening Review.

You go to meetings, we'll talk about doing their Step 10s and they did this long, long rehash of a Step 4.

And I think we talked about this last week. And I don't really, I don't really do that. What I'm looking for out of the evening review is corrective measures for tomorrow. There's no point in analysing things for the sake of analysing it. The point is to figure out

what I need to believe, think, and do differently tomorrow. That's what the key is.

So where it says were we resentful,

it doesn't say what will we resentful about?

But almost everyone I know does an evening review. This is in the past, almost, well, 2829 years. Almost everyone thinks it's right. Lots of things about all the people that bother you. No, no, no, no, no. Were you resentful? In other words, were you indulging that character defect? Ditto with fear. Doesn't say What are you frightened about? Were you frightened?

In other words, were you indulging the fear? And then you've got a completely different question. Because the real question then is,

isn't that interesting? You know, I'll ask myself, isn't that interesting? How attracted I am to finding fault with other people, things in the world? And it's always because I feel guilty or awkward or ashamed or embarrassed or inadequate in myself, which is why I'm looking for someone else whose fault it is more than mine.

So the real question with resentment and fear is, what's my investment that is giving rise to? It's never about the content. The so-called content is the is the blank screen onto which all of that stuff is being projected. Now, sometimes you need to do a little bit of, you know,

detailed work on the content, but the the danger is believing that if you get rid of the content somehow that the resentment will go away. And it won't

because the next day if the reason why you're resentful, which is internal, which has got to do with an internal state of mind. If that isn't resolved, you'll simply find something else the next day. And the two, the two things which I find sort of persistent when people do these reviews

is

either the same thing coming up day after day after day after day on the review, or it looks like a different thing, but it's the same thing wearing a different hat, you know, So one person, it will always be people in authority who are trying to belittle them or not giving them enough credit, for instance. And every day it's a it's a new example and it looks like, and it's can I read you my inventory? And of course, there's no new information.

And so

that's why the I think the focus must be getting the corrected measures on the table and the review the following day is how diligent were you in implementing those corrected measures? For instance, if it's fear,

you know, how diligently did you

recite memorized prayers about God's protection?

How many times did you recite Psalm 91 today? Well, I didn't, I just sat in fit. Ah, you see, that's the problem then. It's not about the thing you're frightened of. It's the indulgence of it. So that the, the focus I, I, I take with people on the review is very different to what most people do. It's not that other people are doing it wrong. This is just what I do. So, so it's all about, it's all about corrective measures. And I think the corrective measures business, business and the same and sound ideal. So at the end of eight and 9:00,

the sane and sound ideal

for each problematical area which represents the ideals to which will towards which we're willing to grow. And then on a daily basis there are corrected measures for the more minute adjustments. And I think this is the engine of change. Unless I've got a vision for what I should be, I can't. I can't move towards it. So

it sounds like it's September. It's not because it's the it's the likely. It's the nightly review.

Um, now then, if the corrective measures aren't being implemented, you get to the really interesting question, which is about willingness. Why isn't the willingness to do this? What's going on? And that's when you really get to the core getting too involved in the so-called content of the psychological stuff, the resemblance, the fears, the aversions, the attractions. Getting

too absorbed in the content of that you can end up never asking

the real question about willingness to change your entire point of view about everything. So that's the mistake I've made. Getting super involved in the detail and then finding you're you're just it's like chasing. It's like a dog chasing its tail. And you and the Swansea together form one sort of unholy dog chasing its tail or constantly trying to to get them to do the program. But

their everyday they come up with another, you know,

wheelbarrow full of material and you're constantly pro. You're you're bailing out this wheelbarrow every day and the next day they go and fill it up again and bring to you all the things they fill the wheelbarrow with. Now, if you don't get past the content, content you can you can stay stuck in that for a long time. And I think that's probably classed as an Al Anon slip to do that to not. And of course,

when you try and go be, people love you addressing the content.

People hate getting behind it and looking at questions of real questions, of willingness to live the corrective measures. And that's how you know you're getting close to the truth is when the real resistance comes up.

And The funny thing was there was someone I was sponsoring a few years ago, and this is actually, this is one person that is like several people where they they're people sober a long time. They phoned up and say, can I read my inventory to you? Can I read it to you?

And if I said no, they were so disappointed. I said, no, let's talk about something else. And they didn't want to do that. They wanted to. It was like there was some, it's like that sort of in, in one of the religions. I'm told people will gain absolution and then see themselves having license to sin again because they've been they've done the penance. And it's like as a sponsor, you can become the person that they, they come to very sort of

guiltily to reveal all the bad stuff they've done or thought

in order to then clear the decks to go and do it again. And so I've got to be terribly careful not to be, not to be become part of that system. So I've become part of the problem. My sponsor talks about the, the, the crocodile tears of sincere sincerity, insincere sincerity. And it's the same sometimes with slippers. You get this people that relapse on repeatedly on alcohol, although the question is, are they relapsing or did they did they ever really stop forever?

The the issue is this sort of cycle

and it talks about the cycle in the doctor's opinion, emerging remorseful and then they call you and they set them going again. And then over weeks or months they drift and then they drink again. And then it's the world known stage stages of the spree and you're just it's like the stations of the cross. You're just one of the stops on this endless cycle. So

I, I'm very, very alert now to being part of one of those cycles where the time in a A

is the necessary penance to go back and slip again.

Because then if you give a, and this is the thing, if you give a, a, a really good go and you slip, it's not your fault if you slip. So you don't have to feel guilty about it as a A clearly didn't work. So some of the slippiest people are some of the best at doing the program when they come back. And this dynamic works similarly with people with lots of very, very high drama

that there are, there's a well, there's a cycle of the drama escalates and escalates and escalates and then they come to you and you process it and they're clean down and everything's fine. And then it all builds from scratch again and again. It's exactly the same as with the people who are repeatedly drinking. And so the way to get at those is to be looking at the. This is why the daily calling and and if someone is presenting with systemic problems. So the daily calling. I get people to call daily in their first few when

doing the steps for the first time when they're coming back off a relapse or if they're presenting systemic problems.

So sort of generalized depression or anxiety or something like that. After several years in AA and they've done the program, you know, 6 * 7 * 9 times and they're in a bad way. And what's so interesting is that it, that the sticking point is always the implementation of the corrective measures. It's always where the problem lies. I, I one example

is, and this is again, not one particular person, it's lots of people I've seen over the years

where the, if the solution is step 12 and really engaging in step 12. And the problem is this relentless return into self obsession and old mental patterns of victimhood and blame and self pity and self indulgence. And all those, I speak from experience in my first 16 years were not pretty.

The solution is step 12. And if you just tell people and they totally buy that you spend a week, you know, preparing for that launch into step 12, unless it's then monitored daily, it just drifts away. And what's so interesting when I get people on a thing where they they call every day with what they're Step 12 stuff is

you find out very quickly that even a week later, the enthusiasm has waned for the Step 12. Southern corners are being cut straight away. And you can hold people to what they agreed they were doing just by looking at it on a daily basis. And then eventually it's like, it's like holding a plant in new soil and you kind of have to, what the plant wants to do is pull up its roots and run away. And it's like you're holding the plant there until the roots take and then the roots

five. But there is a period where, and I, this was done with me where, where you need to be held to it. And I do it daily. My sponsor, when my sponsor was doing, was doing it weekly just because of his schedule. So I, I prefer 5 minutes. I'd rather have 5 minutes a day than one hour a week. But it's this, this daily cycle, it's being part of that daily cycle where people get to reveal what's not working, have corrector measures and implement them. I think that's

powerhouse the whole thing and without someone else

intimately on the inside of that process, it tends not to people who are some people like self basing chickens, they're absolutely fine that that they're up and running. Other people will have a tendency to close back in on themselves and go back into the old patterns. And it's for those people that I find it most, most useful to do that daily, daily business with. So that's all I got on step 11. So I'll hand it back to you, Alistair, to see if there any any

questions from our dazed onlookers.

Thank you very much, Tim. The meeting is now open for questions for Tim, which can be done by the raised hand function in Zoom, or you can message me through the chat function and I will ask Tim directly. And if all else fails, please wave your hand at the camera and I will try to get you. And we normally try to close on the hour, but it's very informal, so we may run past with that. I'll open it up for questions.

Harry.

Hey everyone, I'm Mary, an alcoholic. Thanks, Tim. This could be a bit of a sprawling 1, apologies. So

we talked a little bit about so about. I'd say less than half of my sponsees have even said they're even willing to do it. Just what it says in the book,

they'll always tag things on and turn it into my conspiritation, all sorts of stuff. And like you said. So my approach is, OK, well, you can do whatever you like, how you know, in addition, as long as you're giving the core stuff here a fair go.

So the question is really about, but all of them say it's about the point. What's the point of step 11? It says it's about improving our conscious contact with God. So how do you know if what you're doing is improving your conscious contact with God? Because actually most really, I don't think this is unfair. People will say, well, it's maybe with mind transparentation, for example, in my case, it gave me a better ability to see my thoughts as distinct things that were separate from me. So that's one material benefit,

you know, most of the time it's, it makes me feel better. I have a bliss out and I feel floaty. And that's how they evaluate it as being a good sort of step eleven thing. But none of them have been like, as part of my Step 11, I did AIT course, you know, to make it more useful at work or, you know, so how do you evaluate whether something's improving your conscious contact with God?

That's a lot of questions. I've written some of them down. So now what's the point is an interest, I think that needs to be covered first.

You see, I'm, I'm going to go against everything I said in stock quoting a Course in Miracles here. So, you know, there we go. But there's a section of Course in Miracles, which is one of the more practical ones. You know how some of those sections about lilies are not necessarily super obvious how you apply them, but there's a section called

Rules for Decision. What? The basic gist is this,

you can't make any decision without a guide. Now the guide is either your ego or it's the OR it's the higher power. So you get to pick one. If you don't actively pick the higher power because the ego is always there and the ego ego always answers 1st, you will be following your ego. There is. You can't not make decisions because you have to live. You have to have a day.

So you're going to be making decisions. The only question is where are you going to get the decisions from? So what's the point of step 11 is to To seek direction from your higher power rather than from your ego. Why would you want to do that? Because the ego can only bring fear, frustration, disappointment and despair.

That's fear, frustration, disappointment and despair. Because the purpose? The ego

is to establish for me a separate identity in the material world as exhibited by the material form that we appear to inhabit, and then to make that identity and form special in some way. And if you look at the material world, it's notoriously difficult to make a name for yourself on a planet with 8 billion people. And it's notoriously difficult to

achieve any sort of permanent for yourself when you are made 90% of water

on a planet where water evaporates at room temperature. People are very squashable and evaporatable. It, it's and the, so the egos plans are all about trying to secure some kind of eternal value from a place which is endlessly dangerous and mutable, whether it's materially or or in terms of reputation and things like that. So, so the, the, it's got to be understood in step three that the ego based life. I'm not making this up. This is directly from

a life run on self. Will can hardly be a success. There we go. Is he not a victim of the delusion that he can rest happiness and satisfaction from this world if he only manages well? So it's based on the idea. Hopefully the idea is bought that you're on a hiding to nothing but the ego. So the smart money is to go with the higher power. And once that idea is understood, then you've got a basis for explaining what is Step 11. Step 11

is the process by by which you actively, deliberately, consciously, manually override your ego and go straight to the boss. You want to you kind of want to be a sorry, I shouldn't say Karen with Karen W here, but you know that the dreadful meme in America of the Karen who who says I want to see the manager. You want to be a Karen here. You want to be like Karen. You want to see the manager, you want to see the boss.

You don't. You don't want to palm yourself, you want to fob yourself up with your ego. You want to go straight to the boss, get the good stuff from behind the counter. So that's the point of step 11 is to insist it is to develop is take your sense of entitlement and say I'm entitled to the best possible guidance for my life in order to make the best possible decisions, to have the best possible outcome, which is peace. I'm entitled to that. Give it to me.

And that's super helped because it's taking what looks like a character defect, which is belligerence and entitlement, and turning them into virtues. So you're fighting not against something, but for what is your inheritance, which is a much better life.

Bob Olsen. Bob Olsen is an A a speaker from Colorado Inc. I want to say Inglewood, Colorado. Is that a place in anyway? I think he's from there on those on the site. It will save, you know, so and so from so and so because there are lots of Bob this is and Bob that So Bob Olson from from, from Colorado

or maybe Littleton, I don't know. Anyway, he's very good on this. He says

if you honestly want to seek your higher powers will and you take the actions of asking you better, but you better bet your bottom dollar that what comes down the choose to you is more likely to be God's will than if you just run on automatic. And any, I think any experience of step 11 will prove this, that even if you don't get the knowledge during the day, you're more sensitised to ideas which are not ordinarily your own

after other people say is just going to bother you more. It gets in like it it it wears away the varnish.

How do you know it's worked?

There are two ways. Well, actually there are three ways. The first, there are four ways. The list is growing as we speak. So the 1st way is to listen to the tone of the voice.

So if the toe if if the action indicated through the step 11 process is about fear,

resentment, guilt, shame, bracket sin would be the traditional word for shame. The sense of there being something wrong with you in addition to having done something wrong. Fear, resentment, guilt, shame, attraction and aversion. Those are the six you want to look out for. If it's to do with those,

then you might want to be suspicious.

The

I, I behave very badly on one particular protracted occasion about 11 years ago and I I wasn't rather than telling my sponsor that there was dirty work afoot. And when I finally revealed the situation, which I'm not going to go into here, when I finally revealed the content of the situation to my sponsor, I said,