Beginner orientation at the New Horizons group in Bend, OR

All right, good morning and welcome to the beginners orientation of Alcoholics Anonymous hosted by the New Horizons group of Alcoholics Anonymous. My name is Joel and I'm an alcoholic. My Home group is the New Horizons group and we who serve in a a do this without any monetary payment of any sort. Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism.

The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.

There are no dues or fees for a a membership. We're self supporting through our own contributions. A A is not alive with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution. Does not wish to engage in any controversy, neither endorses nor poses any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other Alcoholics to achieve sobriety. The primary purpose of this panel is to introduce A as program of recovery. I'll introduce some information and terminology that we feel would be helpful to anyone who feels

they may have a problem with alcohol and might be interested in AAS program of recovery. A member of Alcoholics Anonymous will then share for about 20 minutes on what they were like, what happened, and what they're like now having recovered from alcoholism through the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. We will end this panel with a question and answer session. In a a meetings only Alcoholics participate in sharing their experience, strength, and hope. But because this is a beginner's panel, anyone is welcome to submit a question for the question and answer portion,

even if you don't feel you have a drinking problem. Please send your questions to the Co host, Jackie directly and using the chat feature. If you have the questions for the speaker today, you may also submit them to Jackie as well. We'll do our best to get the questions answered during the question and answer session, and those questions can be sent at any point throughout the session

for your comfort. Your identity will remain anonymous when the questions are asked. Please know that there is no such thing as a dumb question as someone else may be wondering the same thing. One thing all A members a A members have in common is experience with alcohol to consider of the nature of the alcoholic illnesses. We understand it. Could Jackie please read this section more about alcoholism from the big book Alcoholics Anonymous?

Hi, welcome everyone.

I'm Jackie. I'm an alcoholic. A New Horizon is my Home group. My sober date is January 15th, 2020. I'm going to read out of the Big Book starting on page 30 more about alcoholism. Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real Alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless Bane attempts to prove we could drink like other people.

The idea that somehow, someday we he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death. We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were Alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we were like other people or presently may be, has to be smashed. We Alcoholics are men and women

who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control.

All of us felt at times that we were regaining control. But such intervals usually breathe, where inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced to a man that Alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better. We are like men who have lost their legs. They never grow new ones.

Neither does there appear to be any kind of treatment which will make Alcoholics of our kind like other men. We have tried every imaginable remedy. In some instances there have been brief recovery, followed by always by a still worse relapse. Physicians who are familiar with alcoholism agree there is no such thing as making a normal drinker out of an alcoholic. Science may one day accomplish this, but it hasn't done so yet.

Despite all we can say, many who are real Alcoholics are not going to believe they are in this class, but every form of self deception

and experimentation they will try to prove themselves exception to the rule, therefore non alcoholic. If anyone who is showing inability to control his drinking can do the right about face and drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him. Heaven knows we have tried hard enough and long enough to drink like other people. Here are some of the methods we have tried. Drinking beer only. Limiting the number of drinks. Never drinking alone. Never drinking in the morning. Drinking only at home.

Never having it in the house. Never drinking during business hours. Drinking only at parties. Switching from Scotch to Brandy. Drinking only natural wines. Agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job. Taking a trip. Not taking a trip. Swearing off forever with and without a solemn oath. Taking more physical exercise. Reading inspirational books. Going to health farms and sanitariums. Accepting voluntary commitment to asylums. We could increase the list

infinitum. Thank you. Thank you, Jackie. Only you can decide whether you want to give AA a try.

We who are in a came because we finally gave up trying to control our drinking. If you feel you're in trouble with alcohol and would like to quit drinking for good, we have three suggestions to help get you started. Big Book. A sponsor and a Home group. The Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous. This guy right here. If you're anything like me, a book this big is not anything too appealing.

Good news is it's only the 1st 103 pages that are the actual program of recovery of Alcoholics Anonymous.

The rest is the experience of others with that program. So it's more, I like to say it's more like a big pamphlet than a big book with with bonuses.

Let's see. Feel free to ask a secretary at NEA meeting to help you get a copy of the book. They cost about $9.50. You'll also hear the book Alcoholics Anonymous most frequently referred to as the Big Book. This is what it became known because the original volume was so bulky when it was first printed.

A sponsor is someone in AA who's recovered through the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous outlined in the Big Book and is willing to take someone else through the same work. A Home group is what we're Traditionally most a A members belong to one group they call their Home group. This is the group where they accept service responsibilities and try to sustain friendships. And although all a A members are usually welcome at all groups and feel at home in any a A meeting, the concept of the Home group has remained the strongest bond between the A A member and the fellowship.

With membership comes the right to vote on issues that affect the group and might also affect AA as a whole, a process that formed the very cornerstone of a A service structure. As with all group conscious matters, each A A member has one vote and it's voiced through the Home group. You may also hear some other terms that seem confusing at first as well, such as crosstalk or outside issues. Here are some of the other A A meeting etiquette that you may find helpful.

Outside issues.

Experience with alcohol is the one thing AA members all have in common. It's misleading to hint or give the impression that a A solves other problems or knows what to do about drug addiction. That comes directly from the Home group pamphlet.

We all come in with many different problems in addition to alcohol, but our common problem is what unites us. Politics, medical advice, and religion are considered outside issues as well. We share our experience, strength, and hope as it relates to alcoholism less our meeting gets diverted from its primary purpose, crosstalk. Avoidance of crosstalk is a courtesy, not a tradition. However, it is discouraged at many a meetings. This can be confusing because its definition is changed depending on the

group. Some more common descriptions of crosstalk wind sharing include speaking at someone when you share instead of to the group as a whole, offering advice or an opinion when someone else is shared, using you or we statements instead of sharing in the I or me voice, offering unsolicited feedback, criticizing or debating during the meeting.

To detail the solution we have found, would Jackie please read the 12 Steps of A A's Program of Recovery

in Chapter 5?

Hi, I'm Jackie, alcoholic. I'm going to read the steps. Step one, we admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable. Step two came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Step three made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him. Four made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5 Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

Six, we're entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. 7 Humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings. 8 Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to all of them. Nine Made directive, made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. 10 Continue to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.

11 sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood him, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out. 12 Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to Alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs. Thank you. Thank you, Jackie.

I would like to now welcome our speaker, Megan from the New Horizons Group, who's willing to share with us today.

Good morning, Megan. Thank you for being here. Appreciate you all yours. OK. Thanks, Joel.

Hi. I'm Megan and I'm an alcoholic. I just. Yeah, I want to thank Joel again and for facilitating this orientation and Kerry for asking you to be here. I'm,

I'm so excited to be here and I want to welcome any newcomers who are here. I have been where you are very recently. I came to New Horizons in November and I came to the November beginners orientation. So it's one of my very first meetings. It's brave that you're here and I'm so so glad to see you.

Yes, and my sobriety date is July 25th, 2020 and New Horizons is my Home group.

I have a sponsor, she has a sponsor and I last week, last weekend just finished up five and then soon after I did six and seven and now I'm working on step 8 today. So it's been a journey and I just want to acknowledge that this is my first time telling my story and I'm anxious and nervous and

also excited. And all of those things are OK because I can do this

without a drink. And I could not have been able to tell you that a year ago. Definitely not a year ago, definitely not nine months ago. And I'm,

I'm mostly excited and I wanted to say that I woke up this morning with that same feeling that you get the night before you go on vacation. And I woke up at 6:00 AM and I was genuinely excited and I was so weird. But I, I take it that that's a sign that I'm on the right path and that the steps are working. And so I just wanted to share that with all of you.

I'm going to start out by reading a section of

the big book that when I first started my first got the big book and started working the steps, I read it and well, there are many things that resonated with me, But when I read this, I was like, OK, this, this describes me. It's in Bills story. So this you know, man, in 1934 I could resonate with this. And so it's on page 8.

Trembling, I stepped from the hospital, a broken man. Fear sobered me for a bit. Then came the insidious insanity about First Strength, and on Armistice Day 1934 I was off again.

Everyone became resigned to the certainty that I would have to be shut up somewhere or would stumble along to a miserable end. How dark it is before the dawn. In reality, that was the beginning of my last debauch. I was soon to be

catapulted into what I like to call the 4th dimension of existence. I was to know happiness, peace and usefulness in a way of life that is incredibly more wonderful as time passes. Near the end of that bleak November, I sat drinking in my kitchen

with a certain satisfaction, I reflected there was enough gin concealed about the house to carry me through that night. And the next day. My wife was at work and I wondered whether I dared hide a full hide a full bottle of gin near the head of our bed. I would need it before daylight. And that last part especially describes my drinking towards the end of my drinking to a fault. I could not go to bed without a full glass of vodka on the side of my bed, because I couldn't. My feet couldn't hit the ground in the morning without me taking a drink. And

it was a total progression to for me to get to that place. So starting from how it began, I am, I'm an only child and I was a very shy girl growing up. I, I have two parents who love me, who are kind, good people who don't have a history of alcoholism. There's probably

untreated alcoholism peppered on both sides of the family, but my family is very

and the brush things under the rug. And so nothing was really addressed about it. Growing up.

I, you know, was a very good kid. I had a terrible fear of displeasing my parents, something that I still carry to this day. And I, you know, I got good grades. I, I didn't break the rules. I did not take a drink until I turned 18, a little after I turned 18. So I had a pretty normal, pretty normal life. I moved around a lot as a kid

and I, I got very used to figuring out how to make friends. I but not, but the important part of that is I, I figured out how to not get too close because I was always moving around. So I, you know, I never really let anybody in and that kept me being very shy and kind of a loner. So

I, you know, I had anxiety and I was most comfortable by myself

in my room away from people, and that carried with me until I went to college. Another thing I wanted to mention is that I I grew up because we moved around so much. My parents aren't necessarily religious, but they

the church was a safe place for us to land to like kind of socialize me with kids otherwise I would have just stayed in my room. So I became very religious as a kid and the only reason I mentioned that is because that has absolutely nothing to do with my higher power as I understand him today. I've had a completely different spiritual experience since finding sobriety and

I did not carry that religion into my adulthood. And so I, it's been interesting as the place I met now in my life, how different

you, my higher power guy, I call, I call him God, just differently from what I was raised with. So my drinking started when I went to college, pretty normal.

I remember everything about my first drink in great detail. I was in a boys dorm room that I had a crush on and he brought out a bottle of Southern Comfort and no idea what it was.

And I took a big gulp and it hit me pretty hit me right away. And I was like, holy crap, this is what it feels like. And I, you know, I remember running down the hall back to my room and I was so giddy. And I, you know, I was chatting with all my friends. And from very quickly after that, a couple weeks later, I was hosting Friday afternoon shots in my room. So I went from having one drink to it just becoming a really part of my big life,

a big part of my life that that was my first semester of college and I almost failed out by like by the skin of my teeth. I didn't fall fail out and I was coming from like my background of good grades and like never disappointing authority. That was,

should have been a wake up call, but it wasn't.

And I, I kept kind of barely getting by for a while

and my partying just progressed. And, but in college it seemed normal. There was, you know, there was, I definitely wasn't like, oh, I think I'm an alcoholic. It just, I was, you know, in a partying environment. And so that seemed pretty normal. So when I, I graduated college and I wanted to be a writer, I started working at a non profit and,

and the 'cause I was really, you know, near and dear to my heart and I spent all of my 20s working there and I started drinking in the morning when I was about 22. And so I, because I, because it's magical power of alcohol, I was, that's how I learned to socialize. I was no longer shy. No one would have described me as a shy person at that point because I had this, you know, secret weapon that gave me confidence. It gave me,

give me the ability to get out of my head.

I thought, and you know, I it was, yeah. It was what I consider it a secret weapon. So

I, when I was started work and I had to not be drunk all the time, I was no longer in college. That was, I was petrified of making a mistake, of getting fired. I, it was so scary. So I remember this is about 2009. I started, I started making Cosmopolitans in the morning,

7:30 in the morning while I was getting ready for work. Not a super normal thing to do, but I made it pretty and I just, I don't know, I, I could justify anything to myself. This is also when like Mad Men was happening and I was like, people drink during the day, it's fine the show Mad Men. So I justified I was able to justify all that to myself

and I became I was drinking in the morning every day. I was hiding it from my roommates. So part of me knew that it wasn't a normal thing to do. Like part of me knew there I had a reason to be embarrassed.

But I still did it. And then I would come home every day at lunch, have another, a couple more cocktails, go back to work. And it was like that for years. I, I was functioning for for years. I was scared

still, but I was, I was able to go to work live on my I eventually got in an apartment on my own and then I have to hide it anymore. So that was great.

And I, I was, I was functioning and then,

you know, I saw all my friends start to build their lives, get married to start their own families and progress in their careers. And I was just kind of, I was, you know, there for all of that. I was supporting all that, but I was I was stuck. Did the the idea of dating terrified me?

I anytime I went on a date, I had to get hammered beforehand and that doesn't really lead to genuine connection and forming a long lasting relationship. So I didn't have any,

didn't have one. I still haven't. And I'm I'm 34 and I I say that because it's a big part of my shame. It's a big part of what keeps me embarrassed, and it's a huge part of what kept me drinking for so long,

just being alone. And kind of the older I got and the more I drank, the more alone I was and the more I had to keep it hidden and keep a big part of my life hidden. And the more I was just

squashing down what I wanted, who I was, and I just relied on alcohol for all of that.

So I, I, I, I was functioning up until I was about

29/20/29 and I, I just started spinning out of control. I could no longer be at work for more than like a couple hours at a time before I had to, you know, have a drink. And so that I, I was, I was progressing in my career kind of until then and then it slowly

de escalated. I was,

I kept getting demoted at the same organization I was working for. I had formed a relationship there. They they did care about me, so they I could, they didn't really know what was going on, so they kept trying to make things work with me. They gave me a lot of chances and I kept blowing them until

I lied about something that I had done that a project that I said that I would do. And I kept lying about the status of it. And

they

fired me and my my mentor fired me and it was hard for him

tell he was like, I don't understand. I thought things were like he just didn't understand. I was gaslighting everyone around me. I, because I was just drunk all the time and

when I got fired, I,

I was drunk when they fired me. I, I just, I didn't, I had no desire to change. I was just like, well, this is another, this sucks. But I needed to leave this organization anyway. And you know, I'll, I'll figure something out. And I, I did get an opportunity right away

to a couple months later at another organization at my same field in New York City, which I have no idea how I managed to get the job or the interview. I don't even remember it. But I, I got it and I moved to New York and I stayed there for four years. And that was the, that was the beginning of my bottom. I, because in New York I worked in midtown. I, you know, I had a fancy office. It was great. There were bars

everywhere like I, there was bars on every block. So I, I, you know, I, I,

I drank all the time. I drink, you know, I, every lunch break, I had to rotate which bars I went to. I was embarrassed. And I was there every day, same old joke, like, oh, you're drinking your lunch today. It's like, Yup,

I,

yeah. So I, I did that for a while and it got bad and, and things, things at work were tense. It was, there was a lot of upheaval in the organization. And so I, I just was very lost. And I had all these opportunities that I kept squandering like they kept. I, I could, you know, I was having opportunities to travel the world and I would just get drunk and I couldn't do anything. And I wasn't. It was so frustrating and

I at the same time, I was again feeling lonely,

lonelier and more desperate and it just, I was suffocating me. So eventually I not let go from or politely asked to leave that job. I wasn't as harsh as the the firing, but it was they gave me some time, like a few months, but they were like, we're going to need you to leave in a couple months. But you can't like you can keep, we'll keep paying you, but like find another job, please,

Which I appreciated at the time. Of course, I didn't spend that time finding another job.

I I just, yeah, I just kept drinking. And so let's see, I

for the next two years, I, I lived alone in my apartment,

depressed, and I kept pushing all life lines away from me. I, you know, my parents, who I love very much, were obscured and I didn't see them for years.

I, I had no money. I was broke. I was constantly getting money from anywhere that I could,

my friends, my family. I couldn't. I couldn't afford to pay my bills. I couldn't. Any kind of life I had built was gone. And I, I, I didn't know what to do. I was desperate

and that's when I just, it was 24/7. I I wouldn't shower for weeks and almost a week at a time.

I, I,

you know, day drinking all the time, morning, noon and night. It was just how I functioned. I didn't know a life without it. I couldn't go to the grocery store without it. I couldn't brush my teeth without it. I can, I literally couldn't do anything.

And it was, you know, that's what it got to. And I, it was my, I was right before my birthday, my 34th birthday this past year. And it was the pandemic. And I remember actually being

excited is a really bad word to use. But I, I was relieved when the pandemic started because I was quite great. I can just stay in my apartment and not have any obligation to see anyone and just drink all the time. And that's what I did. And I could, that's when the physical effects really started to see I, it was constant. I had rashes all over my body. My, I was scabbed like my skin was just so dry that my face was very like peeling all the time.

I had no appetite. I could not eat. I would any money that I had would go to abuse, but I was forcing myself to, you know, be 10 cent ramen when I could, but I, I couldn't. I had no appetite. I used to love cooking and entertaining, you know, and all of that. I couldn't. The idea of like making a meal was really challenging

and I again, I was lying to everyone. I knew that people were concerned about me, but I

I had a really hard time accepting any help beyond me begging people for money.

So I

one day I just, I decided I couldn't, I couldn't do this anymore. I, I wouldn't have been able to verbalize this at that time, but I was, I didn't want to live anymore. I knew that dying wasn't killing myself wasn't an option for me. I just, I somehow in my head that still wasn't an option, but I knew I didn't want to live anymore. And those thoughts really terrified me.

So I, I, I, I called my parents

and I said, can I, please, can I please come home? And

they were really excited and really supportive and I, you know, I, I had nothing and I, I left and I moved back into my parents house and I, that was July 25th. And I said I can't drink if I'm here, I have to change something. I can't.

OK, OK.

I just knew that I couldn't keep living how I was living, but I had no idea how to do it. So I had AI, had AI, had a friend who was sober that I, you know, had partied with a lot back in the day. And so I, I saw what it was, you know, how his life had changed. And

for me that was, I was like, OK, I know it's possible 'cause I see someone who's done it and who was as bad as I was. So,

so I just in the beginning it was very, you know, date I would just waking up was hard and going through the day was hard because I had like no skills anymore. All my skills for how to do life and just, I didn't have any and I had no adult knowledge of how to live so early. So I clung on

not drinking and and I had some safety thing at my parents house. I told them I wasn't drinking, so it was very easy to

well, it wasn't very easy, but it was

it wasn't shoved in my face like and I wasn't going anywhere. So I, I kind of had removed all of the temptations, but I knew I could have gotten it if I so it was, it was still hard, but I after a few months of doing that, which was not really living, it was just near like clinging on. I need, I knew I needed help in that same friend recommended a A to me. So, you know, I think it would be a good idea for you.

And I was terrified

and I was, I was so desperate. I was hopeless. I needed help, I needed tools. I needed. I didn't, I didn't know. I felt like my life had just gotten so low. I was in such a giant hole that I had no idea how to get out of it. So I, I looked online, I did a lot of like browsing the inner group, which I didn't know what that term was, but for you could put in your search engine and I, I wanted a friendly place. So I, I did newcomer and

I saw that New Horizons had a description that was so like,

welcome you comers like me up readers like very, very friendly. So I, I made a plan for I think three or four days to go and every time around the same day I would just chicken out. Finally I went, I went to a Thursday meeting. Thursday was an 11 step meeting that Joel is running. I remember he was so friendly. I felt so welcomed and I

kept coming back and I felt slowly that I could start to breathe again. And things happened

slowly and progressively have gotten

progressively have gone so much better since then. I, you know, I, I kept going and I stayed in the background for a while and then I heard my sponsor

talk and got the courage to ask her to be my sponsor. And that really turned things around.

And then I, I went to a business meeting. I became a member of New Horizons, started reading the big Book, started working this step, and I

absolutely had

had a spiritual awakening that

is still it's still hard for me to put into words. I wish I could do a better job kind of summarizing how that went, but I it's still hard to talk about.

But it's that feeling of not being alone anymore that I've always wanted that I, you know, that I use boosted get that feeling because if I had booze, I wasn't alone. But now I actually know what it feels like to not be alone anymore. And

it's incredible. And I there's, I mean, I would never want to go back to how I was living before.

So, yeah. So now I'm, you know, I'm in the, I still have a road to go. You know, I'm, I'm on step, I'm finished the steps, I'm on CP, step 18, the amends. And I have a lot to clean up still. I have ends to make. I have a lot of financial events to make

big source of my fear and my shame. But and I know that if I don't do those things that I will absolutely drink again. And so I, but I have a plan, I have a program, I have support, I have my higher power

and I, and, and that's, that's why I know, I hope I'm OK. I will be OK. And like I said, I, I woke up this morning feeling like this was a vacation, like I was getting ready to go to Hawaii. Like that's how excited I was to be here today. And I,

I'm just so grateful for that. And it's the testament to this program, a testament to my higher power at my Home group and all of like the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous 100%. And another big part that I wanted to mention was getting a service position in my Home group that absolutely turned things around for me, that put me in the middle of the program. It made me feel useful and made me feel part of it.

It made me also feel good. I know that I am a secretary on Thursday that that first meeting that I went to, I know secretariat

and I, I know that no matter what happens on Thursday, like if whatever happens, I know that I'll have a good day. I know that I will feel proud of myself and that I will feel useful. And that's absolutely because of that service position. And it's helped me

talk to newcomers. It's helped me build relationships.

And I, I, yeah, I'm so grateful for that. I think that was the key for me was starting to be of service. And I can see,

you know, I could see my higher power at work, even just being here, I the things that had to happen and align for me to be right here doing this. I can see that happen. I can just, I see, I see it all the time now. And that's also a testament to this, to this program. So

yeah, with that, I just want to say thank you again and thank you for letting me be of service. Thank you for listening and I appreciate you all.

Thank you, Meghan. Absolutely wonderful job. That's excellent.

The rest of the time will be used for the question and answer. If you haven't already done so, please submit any questions you might have to Jackie. She'll be sending them directly to me. We do in this meeting directly at 11:30, but we also are Home group, New Horizons group that's been mentioned multiple times starts directly afterwards. And I've just posted a direct link into that meeting.

So if you want to copy that, most of us are just going to jump the wall and be right there. So if you want to chat with us, it's a great place to start. Jackie, do you have any questions in yet?

Yes, I do

question. Yeah, the question about attendance, how would someone get a letter of attendance?

Any group that's different, that's unique, if if you're asking for this group specifically, if you throw your e-mail into the chat, somebody will verify. Our group conscience is that we don't do that, but our individual members absolutely do.

So if you throw your e-mail in the chat, we'll get you connected to one of our individual members that's also here that will verify that you attended today.

But like you know, for an in general question, each group sets their own group conscience for that. Alcoholics Anonymous itself is not affiliated with any outside agency, including your your parole officer, the court you're in, any sort of government, your treatment center. We're not affiliated with any of that. We will write you a letter that you can verify, but we won't send anything to them.

And that's, that's Alcoholics Anonymous rule of or tradition

of not affiliation will help will help you on your journey. But we're not we're not telling on you

in any way, shape or form to anybody. We don't keep attendance records.

OK, I have another question. How do you know if you're an alcoholic if you have issues now and then and you don't have a feeling of addictive sensation or ideas of addiction?

That's what this bad boy right here is for. It's the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous. It explains who Alcoholics are part of its explanation. You know, it, it, it defines moderate drinker, heavy drinker and, and real alcoholic. And, and you may or may not be in any part of that. We as as Alcoholics Anonymous and as individuals, we don't declare anybody else an alcoholic. It has to come from inside of you.

But what is clearly spelled out in the book Alcoholics Anonymous is it really doesn't matter how much you drank or how often you drank.

It's what happens to you when you drink. And that's why we do a lot of describing what happens to the alcoholic when they drink. Hopefully in an effort. I'm sorry if you can hear all of that minor, the dogs decided to go crazy. Hang on a second.

All right. Sorry about that. So like I said, when, when you go through that book, your job is it's a textbook. It's not a novel. It's not something we read to get to the end of. It's something we read to extrapolate the information from. And and you know, the directions early in one of the forwards is to to, to ask yourself, yeah, that happened to me. Or maybe this will work for me too, you know, but it's an inside job. We don't do it for you. So please get a hold of the book Alcoholics

and go through it. See if you find yourself. If you find yourself, you probably one of those. If you don't, you got a great book you can give to somebody else who might have a problem.

Next question, what is a sponsor? A sponsor is simply another member. If you notice in the 12 steps, Jackie read at the end, the the 12th step mentions we carry this message, you know, having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, having done the 12 steps, we tried to carry this message to Alcoholics, you know, So a sponsor is somebody who's in that position, who's made it through the 12 steps, has experienced the, the change, the emotional displacement.

Rearrangement that causes that sufficient to cause somebody to overcome alcoholism. And on their journey now their job is to help other people. So you know, though you're working, you know, you're getting started on your steps, you're also helping them complete theirs. So that's what a sponsor is because there's there's a lot of places where it's easy to get caught in the woods. And some of these directions, I know where it's critically important to have another experienced member to say, no, no, no, this is how we do it.

You know, there's a sponsor is simply that, you know, somebody who's able to, to take, has taken the 12 steps and is able to help you. These aren't marriages, you know, if you, if you grab ahold of somebody and things don't work out for whatever reason, you can always grab somebody else. We generally only have one sponsor at a time. Because I know if you're anything like me, if I had multiple sponsors, you know, and I wanted to do something that was self will, I would just keep changing how I phrased it from different sponsors till I got one that would agree with

crazy. So we have one sponsor at a time, but that sponsor can change at any time. You know, I had a, a man let me go as his sponsor just yesterday because we, our, our time schedules just couldn't match up. He he's in Spain, I'm in the United States, and it was just too difficult for us to find a time that works together. You know, there's no harm there. It was just simply a matter of logistics. And, and you know, so like I said, the, the most critical thing, get one, get started with

anyone, get started with anyone. If you find out it doesn't work, that's fine, move on to somebody else. But in the meantime, get started. One of the things I did is I, I just asked somebody I saw that was always at the same meetings. Look, had a ton of time. I asked him, I said, you know these guys better than I do and I don't have time to wait. Will you tell me who I need for a sponsor? And he gave me a sponsor. So there's, there's no wrong way to do it other than not doing it.

That's the second part of this question, Joel, is how does someone get a sponsor? Yeah, it's as simple as asking. And our Home group, like I said, we're we're going to jump the wall right after this at 11:30. And there's a half, our meeting doesn't start till 12. So there's a half hour of time where we just chat with each other. And part of that is getting connected with one of our newcomer reps and our newcomer reps give out paperwork and it's digital,

but it has a list of phone numbers, which are people you can contact. It also has a list of sponsors, which are people who have completed the 12 steps and are willing to sponsor people from our Home group.

So, so we do some of that work for you. We call it because there's a lot of people who are willing to sponsor doesn't mean they're qualified and it doesn't necessarily mean they're, they're capable, but they're willing, you know, and, and this is one of the, you know, we try and, and help you get to somebody who's actually completed the 12 steps directly. So please come to our meeting early if you want one right now, which is the best time to get one is right now.

And we'll get you that phone list and, and we start having conversations with the folks, see if see if

you know the requirement of that sponsor matches with what you're capable of doing and, and take it from there. So again, the link is in the chat box. You know what, I think I sent that direct. I'm going to put that in there again right now because I noticed I actually sent that to one member instead of to everybody. There it is. Anybody can click right on that. As soon as this meeting is over, it'll take you right to that next meeting.