The New Horizons group in Bend, OR

Now please allow me to introduce, introduce our speaker today,

Corey D from the 1728 group from Oswinborough, Kentucky. Welcome Corey. Thank you for being here. Hey, thanks guys. Appreciate Mario. My name is Corey and I am an alcoholic. My Home group is the Owensboro 1728 group in Owensboro, KY. I live directly on the Ohio River on the border of Kentucky and Indiana about

familiar with the area about I'm about two hours West of Louisville and about 40 minutes east of Evansville IN. My sobriety date is July the 22nd 2014 and I've been involved in a Home group. I've had AI have a sponsor, I've got a sponsor who's my recovery and a service sponsor kind of combo. I have sponsees, I've got sponsees that sponsor, pick sponsor people and I've been involved in general service since I was about 5 months sober.

I've just real quick like at the group level and up. I've, I've served as a group treasurer, I've served as GSRI, have served as the district committee member for the district that I live in, in Kentucky. And I currently serve as the alternate chairperson for Area 26, which is the whole state of Kentucky. So today we're going to talk about Tradition 4 since today's the 2nd of April. Tradition 4 is a good one.

I'm going to try to cover as much as I can so I don't, so I don't go over. So,

umm, you know, when I was talked to, to, you know, when I first learned about the traditions and, and I went through, you know, a tradition study and all that with my sponsor, I was taught to read both the short form and the long form of the traditions. So with tradition 4 on your in your in our 4th edition big book be page 562. Tradition 4 states each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or a a as a whole.

So if I look over on the next page 563 at the long form notice it's a little longer got a lot more information there than just what we just read. It says four with respect to its own affairs. Each A a group should be responsible to no other authority than its own conscience. But when its plans concern the welfare of neighboring groups also those groups ought to be consulted. And no group, regional committee or individual should ever take any action that might greatly affect a, A as a whole,

conferring with the trustees of the General Service board on such issues. Our common welfare is paramount. Now, I want us to, to hold on to that word. They're paramount. That's a, that's a big word, you know, So, you know, I had to think about that and I had to talk with my sponsor about it when I first went over this and everything. I like to think that I'm a smart person. Fortunately, I just look back at the last almost 40 years of my life and I can see that, you know, I need some help with a lot of things. And you know, I had to find out what what

was and it's like it's self governing. So I was like group autonomy. That's cool. So each group is responsible for what it wants to do. So like some examples of group autonomy would be like meeting time and location. So like my Home group meets on Tuesday evenings at 5:30. We used to meet at 6:30. And you know, our we, we didn't have a very good turn out. We had to think about that. We had to do it. We

through conducting a group inventory with an outside member, we realized

that, you know, a lot of people get off around, you know, 4/30, 5:00 And I know that for myself, if I come home and I sit in my recliner and I lean back, all of a sudden, you know, my, my drive and all that to go to the meeting starts to dwindle quickly. So we decided to change it to 530. That's an example of a, a group autonomy. You know, where we meet at, we rent out the back of a church has nothing to do with the church or anything. We just rent it for space.

You know, there's a local clubhouse here that a lot of meetings meet at. There's a treatment center that I can think of two different home groups in town here that rent out treatment Centers

for a meeting space. So meeting space, you know, location would be an example of group autonomy readings. So, you know, every, every group kind of has different readings. Real popular in the Midwest, probably in the West and all over. It's real popular here to go to a meeting and hear, you know, the a preamble, how it works, the 12 traditions and then the nine step promises. That's a that's would be group autonomy. You know what we read beforehand. My Home group, we like to read an opening

segment instead of saying, for example, instead of saying like serenity prayer or something like that. We start off with the declaration of unity. You know, we read the 12 traditions and then we, we talk about the 7th tradition and that. And then we go on into the meeting that that's, those are examples of group autonomy. Some other, some other things of autonomy within groups. Chips some groups do sobriety chips some some groups don't

selling literature. So at my Home group we have pamphlets for free and we have other books like that are conference approved. You know, we have big books, we have

12, the 12 and 1212 steps, 12 traditions. We have Doctor Bob and the good old timers pass it on as Bill sees it, daily reflection, our great responsibility, a service manual, you we have all those for sale at cost. You know, some groups, some groups around here don't do that. It's, you know, it's just that's a group autonomy thing.

Umm, types of meetings. So we all know there's a lot of different types of meetings. There's discussion meetings, there's speaker meetings. My, my Home group is a big book study. There's tradition meetings, Grapevine meetings. Also those specialty groups, like there's both a men's and a women's like specialty meeting here in town. There's LGBTQ meetings. There used to be a meeting here for, for doctors a few years ago. So if you weren't a doctor, you weren't able to attend.

It's OK. It's group autonomy. At that time there was ten other meetings meeting in town that I could go to. It met used to meet like at 8:00 on a weeknight. There was tons of other meetings to go to. They preferred that you be a doctor. But if you come in and and really said you needed a meeting, they would let you come in, but they preferred that you be a doctor with that group. That's all group autonomy. Some other things,

you know, maybe maybe your group, you know, if you're having a sobriety birthday or something like that, maybe somebody likes to bring a cake,

you know, maybe they like cupcakes, maybe they set up a certain day. Maybe you have a speaker meeting, you know, three weeks out of the month and then you have or give a discussion meeting 3 weeks out of the month and then maybe you have a speaker on the last week, you know, for birthdays. I've seen that done. That's all group autonomy sponsorship list. My Home group has a sponsorship list. We, we keep a list of everybody who is both willing and able to sponsor people. So like for myself,

for example, I sponsor a couple guys. I, I serve a sponsor a couple people too. So I'm not at this time, I've got a full plate. I don't, so my name is not on the list because I don't have the, the adequate time that I feel that give, you know, to give a newcomer on there and it's not fair to them and it's not fair to me. So, you know, my name is not on the list, but we have a sponsorship list. If anybody's looking for a sponsor, it's a Home group member.

You're, you know, we have Home group members who are, who are willing and able to sponsor that. That's group autonomy.

You know, we don't have to do that, but we choose to also too like those different positions in the group. Like I see Mario says secretary on there. So you know, you know, there's GSR and all that, but some groups depending on the size, they have different things that they do. You know, we, I was a member of a Home group before that was a big group and we had ACPC slash Pi chair in the group. We had a corrections committee chairperson in the group.

Unfortunately my Home group right now is, is we, we don't have the size to do that. We, although we would like to, and we're all involved in that kind of work,

but, uh, but you know, we don't have double positions in the group.

You know, some other things like, you know, greeters at my Home group, we don't have a door greeter because it's everybody's responsibility to, to greet people as they come in, you know, and make them feel welcome. We don't have just one person that does that, but it's totally up to the groups. Another example of a group autonomy would be like tradition 7 contributions from the group. You know, at my Home group, we contribute to our local district, we contribute to our our area and we contribute to the general service board.

One thing we do not do is practicing group autonomy is we don't contribute to the local inner group here. And that's another story for another day. And I'm not going to bore you guys with that, but, but you know, those are all group autonomy, group autonomy decisions.

A different thing that we do that some, you know, that I know some other groups do do, but I don't know group here in town does is we have a, a social media private group for our group. And then, you know, we, we have a couple admins on that and it's, it's a closed, it's a, it used to be called a, a secret group, but it's Facebook. I think it's changed it to private now, but we have a private group

and you know, we have a bunch of people in town that are not just Home group members, but a a members. That is one requirement is you have to be an AAA member to be a member of the group. And we do different things. We have, you know, we'll put different readings on there, We'll put Flyers, we'll put different a a you know, information files have kind of like little discussion boards, things like that. That's all group of time. So, you know, I'll give you an example here. So let's, let's think about this again here when it says, but when it's

the welfare of neighboring groups, also those groups ought to be consulted. So I, I have experience with something like that. I was GSR of another group here in town and it was a closed meeting and, and it was a closed speaker meeting. I know that may sound strange to a few people, It always did to me, but it's a closed speaker meeting. And one thing that was strange about it is I had some old timers and you know, one guy there kind of took me under his wing and all that. He'd been sober longer than I'd been alive. And I like to remind him of that all the time.

He's in a nursing home now. We go visit him. And thankfully, since the pandemic is starting to open up here, at least in Kentucky, we, we have the opportunity to, to make an appointment go seem now. But you know, I noticed that we read a, a closed meeting statement before, but it wasn't like the blue card closed meeting. It said that we had, you know, it said something to the effect that we asked if you that we, that they would ask that you introduce yourself as an alcoholic, not an addict.

And I brought that up one time in the Home group meeting 'cause I started noticing we had a lot of people coming to that meeting. There was over 100 people there every Tuesday night

and there was a wide range of people there. And there were people there that obviously were not members of of any 12 step fellowship. I don't believe they were there. Like we had treatment people that were coming and people in treatment centers and, you know, they would have their, their girlfriends or the boyfriends or their husbands or their wives meet them there and they bring their kids and everything. And look, I love kids. I, I love people's significant others. But in a close meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous, you know, it's, it's, you have to be an alcoholic. And I brought that up and

make a Long story short, they just didn't want you to say that you were a drug addict. That's it. As long as you weren't, didn't say you were a drug addict, they didn't care. And, and, and I, they didn't sit right with me. And I was like, well, look, if that's the way that we feel, then we, maybe we should vote to make this an open meeting. And oh, I've got all kind of Flack for that. And, you know, told me all this old timer told me that if the guy that started that meeting knew that he, that, that I was trying to do that, he'd roll over in his grave. And then I kindly remind the guy that, you know, I knew that guy and that he had been a past delegate.

We were breaking, you know, traditions and having a saying. We were a close meeting and it really being open that would probably cause him to turn over in his grave even more. So I was the only person that felt that way though, unfortunately. So, you know, I had to go with that. And you know, that that is what happened. So I tried to bring up the fact that by us not adhering to that closed meeting, that really we were affecting all the other groups around us and a, A, as a whole, because we're telling people that it's OK

that to just come into a closed meeting, bring whoever you want, doesn't matter if you're an alcoholic or anything. And, you know, especially for new people, when they come in and they see that they don't know that that is not the way a close meeting is. And, and then if they go to another close meeting and the close meeting, you know, says something to him about it, Well, then we got then we got a conflict, you know, and then then resentment start flying and everything. And, and that is directly

our group's fault when that happens, you know, hypothetically for that, because we taught them that it was OK to come into a closed meeting

and not adhere to any principles, you know, so, so I, I, for lack of a better term, I beat a dead horse on that issue for quite some time. And when my GSR term was over for that, I found a different Home group and they didn't understand why and, and they got a little resentful at me because of it, but it just wasn't something I was trying to do. I didn't want to be a member of a closed meeting that didn't uphold that I was taught in, you know, through the steps that I should practice the principles in all of my affairs. And that means my outside,

my AAA life, my personal life, my Home group life. And, and that is principle, you know, and I need to stick to principle, but I couldn't force anybody to do anything. Something else I want to cover with you guys here. You know, what got me involved in general service was actually a local convention here in town. I, I have been elected as AGSR and I've been AGSR for maybe six months to a year. And with that,

I was in a dark district, meaning we had no representation at the area level. And it had been like that for 10 years and we didn't know,

we didn't know that, you know, I didn't know there was an area, I didn't know there was a delegate. I didn't know there was a general service conference, which is getting ready to happen here in about three, 3 1/2 weeks. I, I didn't know all that was going on, but I did know something about this convention that I got involved with was a little funny. And they let an outside entity's bank account control the convention due to the Patriot Act of from, from 9:11 or something. They lost their bank account because it had been over five years since they had hosted 1, yadda, yadda, yadda. They lost their money. So instead of going

trying to start a new one and that they just left the clubhouse entity that owned the local clubhouse, they just let them use their bank account. And I didn't know much, but I knew that something about that was not right. So, you know, I brought that up in the meeting and you know what somebody told me, somebody there told me, well, we are autonomous to do whatever we want. And I was like, well, group autonomy, tradition 4 does not give us the right to break the other 11 traditions.

You know, I cannot use tradition 4 and group autonomy to just slaughter all the other traditions. That's not that, that what that is to me is that's me. That's ego, pride and self will. That's everything that the 12 steps try to suppress in me. So I can't, you know, I, I can't use the 4th tradition as a justification to break any other tradition. I've seen a lot of that happen. I'm sure some of you guys have experienced some of that too. If you stick around long enough, it tends to, it tends to show itself, you know, it's,

you know, really those windows happen as long as we handle those right and everything, those are usually they, in my experience, at least, I can only speak for myself. They turn out to be positive experiences because they, they become learning experiences and a lot, you know, the best way for me to learn about the traditions, not just by going over them with my sponsor and everything, but was I broke all 12 of them multiple times. And, you know, breaking the traditions was how I really started to learn about

I didn't break them because I was defiant and undisciplined and, and just didn't care about anything. Although I may have been a little bit of those things at at times, but I broke them because I was uneducated and just didn't know. And nobody had ever sat me down and, and went over them with me. I used to read the 12 traditions off the wall hanging just like I did the 12 steps when I went to a A for seven years and still got drunk because I didn't work any steps and I didn't do anything that you said for me to do. And then I wondered why none of it worked.

OK. So

just for time purposes, I wanted to talk about a few other things here. So it says here, and no group, regional committee, or individual should ever take any action that might greatly affect a as a whole without conferring with the trustees of the General Service Board.

So I'll give you an example here in Kentucky that happened that may not be a great example, but still it's an example. Hopefully some of you guys are familiar with like aa.org,

the Alcoholics Anonymous, you know, website. If you look in the top of that, there's the blue people symbol that goes across. Hopefully everybody knows what the blue people symbol is. If if you're not familiar with that, you can check out a.org and it's at the top. It's got all these blue people that are holding hands and things like that. It's really cool symbol. I saw a flyer one time from a group that had that symbol on it and they were using it saying that it was this group and everything. And, you know, I suggested to them that maybe they should call the general

office in, in New York and ask if it was OK to do that, you know, and of course, you know, after they, after we had about a 10 minute debate on whether that was OK or not, they called and they found out that that, yeah, that's, that's not OK. That, that, you know, the GSO reserves that symbol specifically for Alcoholics Anonymous, you know, in the general service office. And that, so, you know, by, by me using that, that could affect other groups as a whole because all of a sudden my group may not be what a definition of an, A, a group.

I might have an alcohol and pill group or alcohol and family group or however you want to state it. You know, I, I can't initiate any publicity that might affect a as a whole. And if I'm going to try to do that, I need to contact, you know, the GSOI need to 1st probably contact my district for hopefully I'm talking about that with my sponsor and my Home group. But you know, I've, I've experienced that where that doesn't happen. And maybe I'll call my delegate for the area or, and like I said, call the general service office. You know what's cool

general service offices when you every time that I've ever called there, they usually answer within one ring. I just always thought that was awesome. You know, you call one ring and they're like, boom, they answer and they're like Alcoholics Anonymous and they want to talk to you. I learned that I'm not bothering anybody there that they want to help us. So, you know, also something else we can't do is my Home group can't print and produce a, a literature and distribute it and then say that it's a, a standard literature. I can't say that. Hey, this is the Owensboro 1720 eighth group groups

theory on how to overcome alcoholism. And you know, we have maybe 14 steps or maybe 6 steps instead of 12. And this will cut, cut little corners, you know, and all that. Because if you're like me, I'm an alcoholic. I always try to find the easier, softer way. It never works out, unfortunately. But, but I still sometimes try, you know, I, I can't do that. That affects a a as a whole. You know that that that sends cuz the the the great part of the traditions is it the the 12 traditions protect Alcoholics Anonymous from me.

And my best motives, and luckily I found out over time that principal always Trump's motive. You know, I have good motives, but that doesn't mean that that I'm doing things correctly. But if I adhere to certain principles that are laid out in our literature and that it's pretty hard for me to mess things up, even though I still can, but I have a my odds shrink greatly if if I try to, you know, stand on principles. So what's really cool about the 4th tradition here is that it, you know, in the rest of the 11 is it all goes back to

one stating that our common welfare comes first. Remember at the end of that I talked about on such issues, our common welfare is paramount. Well, we know paramount is the biggest, hugest, most, you know, astronomical thing we can think of. And, and our common welfare is paramount in Alcoholics Anonymous. And like I said, you know, anytime I'm in question, I can always consult my sponsor,

maybe support group members who are more experienced than I am.

I'm gonna tell you, I consult some of my sponsees sometimes it's good for them and it's good for me. My spot. I've learned, my sponsees have taught me much more than I could ever teach them. I can consult my delegate, my area chairperson. And then like I said, I can consult, you know, the general service office too. The I've learned in a, a the only dumb question is the one that I don't ask. And pride and fear and ego and selfishness, self centeredness and self seeking behavior

keep me doing that. It will, It will keep me from doing that. But you know, one thing I've learned and I'll wrap it up with this is in order for me to learn about and practice and live in the 12 traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous, I have to be firmly grounded in the 12 steps. Without the 12 steps, if I have not had the spiritual awakening as the result of those 12 steps and I don't have a relationship with the higher power that directs me

and takes all, you know, self out of the picture, then I'm not capable of fully understanding and living the 12 traditions, you know, with myself. I practice the 12 traditions to the best of my ability, not just because I should, because my sponsor tells me I should, but because I want to. I want to be the best person you know, A, A has given me this faith that and this this new outlook that allows to give, allows me to be the best person, the best citizen, the best boyfriend,

husband, father, worker, sponsor, sponsee, friend, Home group member and a a member that I can be. But it all goes back to the 12 steps. If I don't have a firm foundation in the steps, then the traditions are not really possible for that. So with that, I greatly appreciate you guys inviting me. Thank you so much.