The SW Region Cocaine Anonymous convention in Dallas, TX

But I can tell you that who is going to be coming out, There's a man that lives my spiritual principles and who I have a very a whole lot of respect for

and talk about get connected. You know, one real quick. I'm going to say before, because Daniels didn't come up and introduce them. I will say this. And we always ask questions like, you know, man, hey, man, how long you been sober? How long you been sober? And when I think about art, I think about, you know, how connected are you? That's what I think about. And because that's what it is. This is that's the whole deal is about is being connected to our greater than ourselves

and and I'm just really, really looking forward to hearing what he has to say. So Daniel, if you don't mind coming up and introduce an art

and we'll get this shindig kicked off.

Hey y'all, my name is Daniel and I'm an addict.

Oh, so the first time that I met this gentleman was on a basketball court and he was a buddy of my brothers and they they had met in the rooms and we're hanging out a lot.

You know, we played basketball a few times and, and the first thing I really remember from then,

we had walked him up to his apartment

and I just kind of stuck my head in and I looked in his living room and I saw

nothing. I saw,

I saw a little bitty TV sitting on a box

and I saw

like a big crate was being used for a table, you know, and there was one chair in the whole living room. Like we went and then Mark and I, my brother and I went back to the car and I said, what's wrong with Art? What's going on? I thought he was sober, like almost like almost two years or something. He goes, well, yeah, he's coming up on two years and he's being very frugal. He's starting from scratch,

you know, And I always remembered that because he seemed like he was

like he was a peaceful, happy guy, you know, And so I just didn't understand. But I was, I was in and out a lot back then, you know, I was completely off the rails pretty soon. And you can Fast forward about 6-7 years or so. And

I had completely made one of those crash sites out of my life. One more time was in Kansas City. I've been working on the road with a bunch of guys and just blew it all up. And I, I couldn't work anymore. Remember laying on the bosses floor in the office telling her everything that I've been doing all the code. Yeah. And she's like, she's like you, You spent all your money on on cocaine and, and now you're leaving.

She goes, Daniel, sweetheart, can I hold your bank card

or something? Can I help you? There's something I can do. No, I've just got to go. And I didn't really know where I was going to go. I called my brother that lived in Dallas, my same brother that knew Art,

and he said I could come live at his place, but he didn't have any extra room. So he he cleared out the little storage shed in the backyard and put a little twin bed in there. And that's where I stayed for the next six months.

You know, I had to come in the house for the bathroom. You know, he had a full family there with wife and kids.

So I but the the very next day after I moved into my brothers house, it was late at night, like 9 or 10 at night. And Mark got a call and and he hung up the phone. He said Arts coming over. I said Art, the guy that played basketball with us. And yeah, I mean, the day after I got there, Art calls after almost three years of not hearing from them.

I know that's an accident, but

he showed up that night and I knew when he walked in the house that I was going to ask him to help me,

and I did. He said, can you be at my house tomorrow at 4:00? And I think I was there at 3:30, you know, just to make sure I wouldn't be late.

And the very first thing he asked me to do was to look up the set aside prayer on Google. He said, I want you to, I want you to read that because, man, I had all these resentments against my, my preacher dad, you know, the Hellfire damnation guy, Christians, the Bible, all that stuff. And then and it was really keeping me from connecting to something that I could relate to as far as a higher power,

you know, I think, I think,

you know, anybody that knows art pretty much knows he's, he's like the human version of that. Set aside prayer for getting everything. I thought I knew all my preconceived notions, you know, all my rigid beliefs, all that stuff had to be, had to be dissolved before I could actually connect to something bigger than me.

Art. I love you, man. You've helped me more than anybody else in the world.

Come tell us the story, would you?

Oh my God

I almost started crying. Dude,

I had a box and a fucking TV.

Guys. I'm Arthur. I'm recovered crackhead.

I don't know about y'all. If anyone in here freebase, you're one of my people, 'cause that's how long ago it was when I started smoking crack

and I smoked crack

like it was my life support system.

The only problem was it was sucking my life out of me.

Man. Dude

I remember that but I didn't remember the feeling of it until you just said it.

I had a box and ATV on it

in a two-story townhome.

I was 35. I had four children

and I was empty.

And you know what? Any of these, I sponsor a lot of these guys here. Any of you guys ever complain again?

Ever. Ever.

I'm serious because you know what What? What is? My life today is different.

I don't have a boxing TVI have flat screens on mounted on the walls. You know, it's different today.

It's real different.

I saw my man here who did Crackhead Family Feud in this morning. I'm in meditation, by the way. I've meditated on five floors of a 20 story building in here this weekend and that made me feel good,

'cause I I was thinking to myself, I gotta come back. There's a lot of floors that I need to stop on.

Check it out. One of the questions in our crackhead family feud was this. What is something you might find in a crackhead swallow

in meditation today?

God tells me you won't find a pilot's license in a crackhead's wallet.

I got that two years ago while I was sober at 51 years old.

You can dream and make it happen. I promise you, you can dream and make it happen.

This has been a great convention. So first of all, about 3 1/2 years ago, Keith Bradford, the ex delegate said, hey guys, you know what, I signed this up to be the 2018 convention and we were like, are you insane? And then he leaves.

We are not Houston or Phoenix or Denver. Y'all are great people man. But let me tell you something. We've never held a convention before.

That's what I'm saying.

Those people who did this, Josh Henry, the Evan, I'm looking around, Corey, Vicki, Bren, anyone on this committee that you pull this off?

I actually a year and a half ago when I was area, I said guys back out of this deal.

Seriously, this isn't going to go well. We're going to look like a bunch of fools because we thought like them

pushed us, right? He wouldn't let us say no. I remember the calls. He wouldn't. He would come up. So I want to thank you all for holding this here because you know what? I don't know if you all like me, but I need recovery from my recovery. This weekend. I've slept 6 hours

and 59 hours.

And you know, I wouldn't have it anyway because when I went down to San Antonio to the convention a few years ago, I think I slept 5.

We still have falling. I was actually a little upset. I said, why isn't anyone out hanging out downstairs like we were all hanging out at the pool down Houston. And, you know, we had a movie star here, though. That's why we had a movie star.

And here we just have crackheads.

You know, man,

I, I want to take a moment here

because, you know, if you've heard me talk, you, you know what to expect. You know what's coming,

You know it.

I don't know what's coming, but you guys do. I never know what's coming. And if you haven't heard me talk,

I'm so glad you guys are here

because it's times like this that I learned to live again.

That's a lyric from a band I saw last night.

I couldn't wait to say it. When they sang that last night, I said, my God, man, that is. I was almost in tears when that song was playing. That's that's my song.

That's my song

and I can learn to love again.

So I'm going to take a moment

to bring

The Only Thing

I could express through me to you guys because you don't want to hear from me. Trust me,

I don't want to hear from me. That's why I meditate, so I don't hear me.

So give me a moment guys.

So I

I hope all we all remain happy and free,

free from suffering, free from harm,

that you find some ease and contentment on your path like I did.

And it was not easy.

So I grew up in this picturesque

northern town. That's bullshit.

I grew up in the projects

in New York, a single mom. I wasn't going to tell my story, but single you can tell I said no, not really because spiritual speaker means you can talk about spiritual things, right?

One thing I like about the book, it says don't be shy on spiritual matters.

All right, don't be shy. I'm not.

I don't really. It's all I got. I got nothing else. Nothing else worked for me.

I've tried it all.

I grew up in a shithole, excuse my language. We seem like we're going to be a little less formally. People in shorts, people happier that they're leaving. I forgot my tie,

so just bear with it,

guys. It sucked, man. My dad's in prison for robbing saves. He beats my mom regularly. We got five kids who are on welfare. I've been on welfare in five states.

I was used to living with the TV on a box, actually. That's why it didn't hurt

came from that.

I came from a world of being hungry as a little kid.

I came from world where my mom abandoned and rejected me,

and I'm in an orphanage in Parma, OH, because my grandparents won't even take us.

I was suffering at five years old.

I was abandoned, I was rejected and I stuffed those feelings and I needed a drink at 5:00 and I waited till I was 12 to have that drink.

And when I had that drink, I was never going to stop having a drink because I didn't have to be that person anymore because I didn't know how to be anyone else. I was afraid. I went to foster care, 2 foster kids after that.

The second foster care was brutal.

They had two kids.

One night

they found that I had taken some food and is eating it in the bed because they weren't feeding us and they burnt my hand on a stove.

I took that as part of doing business. You know, I was hungry. See, I don't know if people know what it's like to be hungry for food.

I was hungry. That's why I'm hungry for this.

That's why I don't stop eating it. I don't take a break.

See, I had ideas, conceptions and attitudes that I had to cast aside for an entirely, completely set of new ones. And I challenge you right now, silently, in your own way, look inside and say, what am I holding on to today?

What idea keeps me blocked?

And maybe you can let that go, because I'm tell you, I let go of a lot of more. I didn't let go. I threw away my marriage.

I pawned everything I owned. I had pawned a lawnmower 8 times, the same one

I was.

I was just looking for relief man. I didn't want to hurt anymore. I don't want to be a scared rejected little boy

and I didn't know how. So guess what? I had to be a tough St. kid

so I didn't get beat down and guess what? I got beat down every day

and then in my 20s, I'm beating shifted.

I started giving them because we're going to give what we got. We are going to project out into our reality what was given to us.

I have some felony aggravated assault, intent to kill charges against me that I still can't shake.

I was scared,

I was alone

and I,

I just did the best I could, man.

I did the best I could. And sometimes that, man, I just had to show up and fight my way through life and I was a fighter through life. So when they said we cease fighting, I didn't know how to do that just because even though I could stop throwing hands, I couldn't stop throwing my mind. I couldn't stop throwing my ideas, my opinions into everything

that was hard to let go.

So my mom takes us to New York

when I'm 12. She gets well, takes us to New York. She's working three jobs.

I remember being up in New York,

12 years old, Christmas Day, she's raped in front of our house.

Yeah, it can get worse. It's gonna. I'm just touching on it and I don't want to really draw anyone into the suffering.

By then. I'm getting high. I'm 12 and I'm getting high because drinking wasn't enough. I had my first drink and I immediately started selling weed because I needed to buy wheat and I didn't have money.

So I'm

I'm selling weed and I stopped going to school at 12 years old. That was my last day in school.

Meanwhile when I was in 6th grade they had offered to put me in college. They said this kids smart, we need to do something with them. And my mother said, well, I got to chase this married man off on Long Island and I don't have time to nurture this child's life.

So she moves us out to Long Island from the city and

I got low resentment so I robbed his bar

and I go to jail for it. 14,

14 years old sitting in jail. They won't Get Me Out, think I?

So what's weird man? I end up in two years in juvenile detention. So I'm institutionalized. By the way, I don't know if you all are getting adrift of this. Orphanages, foster cares, juvenile detention for two years. Guess what wasn't for robbing that bar or robbing houses, which I do regularly, is for truancy.

Truancy because I missed 162 days out of 185.

No one had no parent.

I do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted,

and I paid a price for that. But it also taught me a lot of talking, how to be strong. It taught me, see, I used to think I had an asset. My sponsor said you'd write some assets out. I put I can endure things. He goes, that's not good,

I said. It is when you're coming from where I come from. You got to endure it.

So

I get out of this juvenile juvenile detention center by Robinette.

I've been in there for 19 months and they can only put you in them for 18 months

and when I robbed it they then took me to court. While in juvie I was charged with robbing the facility

and when the judge heard that he said I'm going to let him go.

And I was let go out of a courthouse in Huntington, Long Island by myself with nowhere to go. And I said, well, what the fuck can I do?

So I took Long Island Railroad back into the city.

Now I'm like my sister said, you're either going to be a mercenary or a missionary. And

I did not

come to preach,

you feel me?

I was a dangerous person

to myself, to anyone,

my last using.

We'll dictate that.

So let me finish that story. I'm back in long. I'm back up in Queens and I'm working. I'm going to I'm going to work in the city, 38th and 5th Ave. right off of Madison, working at a shipping company, shipping clothes all around all these JC Penney. So I got familiar with all these zip codes and I said, man, I could bring,

you know, where every city was because JC Penney's were all over the country. Hawaii.

I was laughing at that 'cause I go man, I just

insane memory but I know where everything is now. That's weird but I but I came home one day

and walked in and everything was gone. My mom had picked up and moved again and left a note saying I can't handle this

and there was an envelope for $500.00 for the rent.

She was gone again and there I was alone. So that's what I dealt with. See, my addiction and my need to feel OK came from being left being rejected, being abandoned. And so I sought relationships as an adult to feel some intimacy.

Some love, but I was so petrified that I would sabotage you, push you away or leave you before you could leave me. But you weren't leaving me. But I believe you were.

And I sabotaged my life

because I was afraid again. I was afraid. Self-centered fear activated my defects highly.

My last night using

I got a pile of crack

soaked up by the way I came from the street.

I did broken the street. Nothing welfare. Five states, even in Texas,

and I want to say this, I don't say this a lot. I don't, and I'm going to say I'm a multi millionaire.

I've never been to high school. I've never been to college,

no one gave me anything.

I started 2001 with a TV on a box

and I don't have a TV on the boxing.

I'm sitting there after 11 years sobriety.

That's when I knew him

and I tossed it away

because I had to find some more pain that I hadn't seen before and I couldn't see sober

or I wouldn't see sober.

So I used again

and in six weeks, my last night using I had a pile of crack. I had an 8 ball of powder because the crack sucked. So I was cooking it myself and making it better.

I

I had I had a jar of pure hydrocodone powder from a compound pharmacist.

I'm on 2 ambien,

I had a slept in three days and I'm walking around with a pistol in my house

and my wife is freaking the fuck out

losing her mind. Oh my God

and I literally said this

but Rick's lair style. I didn't want to yell into that.

I've never felt better in my life. My eyes were further out than my nose.

I'm not kidding you, man. I was in the zone.

In the zone.

She gets up, goes in the room with her daughter. Meanwhile, this woman never seen me. I

we get together, she has a 14 year old daughter who's graduating from oh you in two weeks. I've been her father figure

for eight years and her daughter never seen me hug.

And she went in that other room and she said I can't do this anymore.

Neither could I. I couldn't do it anymore.

I'm holding a gun, waiting for a SWAT team to kick my door in,

and you know what they were going to do with the guy holding the gun? They were going to kill him.

She left, went in the other room. I stayed up all night long,

10:30 in the morning there was no more dope. I did

a lot of dope that night.

A lot. I was so high it literally could have killed five children. If they had it. Then there's in the system, it would have killed them because it but I was conditioned to that amount of note at this point,

the moment I did that last hate, it was a size of A50 because that's the way I was getting high at this point. I was killing myself. I wasn't getting high anymore.

The moment I took that hit,

I wasn't high.

I was out of dope. I wasn't high no more. Anyone ever get that

I had enough dope in that hit to stay high for a couple 12 seconds?

Crack cocaine is the best high I've ever had. I don't care what anyone says. I mean, I shot Coke for 18 months and

it did not do what cracked it to me. Crack was my mistress. Like Sam said the other night, it was my mistress. I gave it everything willingly.

So I'm sitting there 1:30 in the morning and I'm jacking with my

kick ass surround sound system

and my remotes not working. And this remote can work anywhere in the house. It should be able to function this thing.

I can't see the. I can't even see it because I can't see what

pilot to this.

I can't see it and it ain't working. So I start at 1:30 in the morning, Facebook messaging my a buddy Glenn. He's got 30 years sober to come over

my entertainment system,

he said. I'll be there in the morning. Is that OK?

I said sure, what time 'cause I knew I wasn't going to have enough dope to me,

so I I didn't plan it right. I didn't plan this right at all. I said can you make it around 1:00? He says sure, I can make it 1:00. The guy to give me some time gave me a buffer.

I literally pushed that straight for two hours. There was so much I couldn't push this

to go through it. It was so crazy because I was a junkie, man. I was getting high as fuck.

Oh my God, it was D high,

but it wasn't. It wasn't a bad one, really. It was bad watching how she saw me because it made me see me

all sudden, 10:00 in the morning, the car pulls up. It's Glenn. He's walking up to my house. I'm like holy shit, he's here and I was just about to split. What am I going to do?

He walks up to my door. I have glass doors with wrought iron. Us to all that

and I got that going on right

I I open it and I say

hey Glenn I'm glad you're here I can't stop smoking crack. I need your help. I didn't want to say that

I did not watch. I said hey you said one. That's what I wanted to say.

Didn't say that

what they say. That moment of clarity was followed up by the moment of action.

Because he said I

this guy told him man,

hold on me.

I got right away. I told him

thank you,

let's let's go to a meeting. I did.

I didn't go treatment.

I walked in the California.

I sat in that chair, vibrating. I was Gray. I hadn't slept.

I walked up to my sponsor, Doug Wilson.

That's what he calls himself. So I'm going to call Matt.

And I said I didn't ask for responsible. I didn't say. I said

I need help

and he looked at me

and he said, well what's up?

You want paper, paper green? What is it? What's up? I go,

what's up?

I don't have God.

I usually like taking two weeks to watch my guys make sure that they're serious. I don't have two weeks and that's now my voice changed

and he sensed that. He even tells me those I knew

you were desperate

and he let me come over his house.

He did something that no one had ever done before, ever. And I mimicked that.

First of all, this is my tribe. These are my people in recovery in the California.

Y'all are my friends. I'm so sad that y'all aren't mingling together because when I went to the conventions I get to sit with people I don't know

because I rolled up into Denver and went over the dark side of spoon us all robbed. Then I went over another meeting in Denver two years later and saw Rob.

I mean people from Albuquerque. When I roll with Albuquerque, I'm looking them up. I go to meetings in other places. So we got to start mainly

right.

We have a common solution on which we absolutely agree. Are we in agreement of that? Seriously,

Because I'm hearing some stuff that we might have some division going on, people aren't in agreement.

See, Mike told me. He was on channel through me.

I wasn't here last night, so I'm gonna continue his story.

I'm a death stage junkie.

I don't play around, I never did. Everything I do is extreme.

That's why I meditated on five floors at a building this 20

because the amount of dope I had to do halfs to be tempered with the amount of spirituality God asks me to participate in.

I don't get the choice or I'm going to go here today because it's this day and that makes it the right day.

That's what he tells me every morning. I don't wake up selfish. I don't wake up afraid. I wake up amazed. I literally I wake up,

it's still here.

Anyone feel that way? Like, Oh my God, it's all still on

and I'm in it and I'm nothing more significant than that lamp, the sunlight coming through my window, or the feel of the breeze from my ceiling fan. I keep myself simple like that. I really do.

So Doug takes me through this work and he teaches me one thing, he says. Being convinced

that you're a doping,

you come into that bro. That's what they all say, bro.

So I'm from New York. I said you guys use guys, right? And y'all say y'all and if it's for a lot of y'all, it's all y'all.

But Doug's always calling me bro and he's like an MMA looking dude and just he's not the guy I would have wanted to pick, but he's the guy that

showed me the disease

like no one ever had. He said here's what we're going to do. He goes, I don't want you to read this. I want you to find yourself in it.

I want you to investigate yourself in the light of your experiences and see

the addiction

at work in your life.

And I did hardcore

because I'm a masochist. I went hardcore, dude. I'm sitting on this house three months over.

We're doing third step stuff now. It wasn't three months. It was a little in a few weeks because I remember I started shaking and crying. And he goes, what's going on with you, man?

I said. I'm going to go home and ask her to leave because I am fucked.

I'm going to use again because I'm a junkie

and I don't have any way to stop it.

What I had done, which I challenged anyone to do, spend a little time and look for that culprit in your head,

that manifestation itself,

and see where he's playing. Because guess what? When I was, I wasn't joking. I said we need recovery from our recovery. Because see, I was in, I, I relapsed sober with 11 years because I needed recovery from my recovery. I had too many ideas. I was rigid. I was controlling people.

I wasn't in a flow, I was obstructing the flow.

I didn't let something speak through me, I spoke for it.

God doesn't need me like that.

So in the first tradition, at the last sentence of the of the last paragraph, he said, hey, you know, he'll sustain us in uni as long as he needs us. Remember, I need to be needed by God.

He doesn't need me.

You know why? Because I was joking with GAIL. So I said, oh, last night I was joking with him. What do you talk about? Said all. Dude, it's kind of amazing.

I don't know. Actually, I don't even know,

but I said

I'm going to talk about love,

I'm going to talk about freedom,

I'm going to talk about liberation.

I'm going to talk about

letting go,

absolutely abandoning ourselves utterly,

because I'll guarantee it.

I only have to look up and up here for about one second. I could see an idea that I could let go, but I might not want to.

That's why I don't look,

because I know it's there. And when that one goes, there's another one,

see, because there's an old guy from India. He said this. He goes, I don't care what you let go of

when you came up to him bragging. Oh, Swami, let me tell you all things I left. I don't care what you let go. I'm more concerned about what you're still holding on to

because I was holding up a lot of stuff I still do sober,

and that's what's killing me, keeping me separated from a power that will literally do the things that I cannot do for myself. When I look in the 11th step from about 84 to 88, it must say 7-8 times little or no effort on their own.

You know, God did the things for us that we couldn't do for ourselves. We've been placed in a position of neutrality. We didn't even try. We took it easy. We rested. I don't see anyone taking it easy in here, man. Everyone's running around like Mad Men. And you know what? That's not my game anymore. I'm not responsible for this. I'm just responsible for one thing.

God got me sober and I'm on my last life. I'm telling you, if this is a video game, there is one little life left

and the only reason he got me sober is for eight of these guys.

That's it. I don't step into that role and allow him to work through me to show them only one thing.

There is a power

that will pull you back in the gates of your health, and your hell could be not your death. Your hell could be while you're sitting here with seven years over four weeks sober, three years sober,

two years sober, 11 years sober.

It can be a hell just sitting in your own chair

because I've been talking for maybe 1520 thirty minutes because you all took up 17 of them.

That's real talk. That's real talk.

You could be sitting in that chair and not hearing me because you're listening to yourself

and you're killing yourself right now.

I don't listen to this guy.

He I keep him busy. I put him to work.

I just know I'm telling you, watch everything that's happening all the time.

He loves that job, dude. Thank you. He's thank you. I got it. Car win, hair feeling, sitting, sitting, breathing. He loves that job. And guess what he's freed me up to do, Liv.

I gave him some work to do

and I shut them up.

But I love him, really. I embrace my sickness. I embrace my Wellness.

Race yours too.

I got in here man,

and my sponsor was funny. He goes, man, dude, I can't even like read this book with you bro 'cause you could like literally say entire pages. Like it can say the entire page

and I said but I don't know what it says.

He goes damn proud again. The pro bro,

he told me to call him every day and never miss it. And I joke around, a lot of people know this. And I said OK, and I call him every day and he didn't answer every day.

And one day about 6-7 months over, I walk up the firing line group that's here in Dallas, the old fire line he's in with this dude Chris, who's got like 30 years sober. And they're mocking me and making fun of me, which is cool because I do that to people too. We all do that, right? It's ship rolls downhill

and so I'm walking up and does a no man, you catch a Sarah. He calls me every damn day.

What's wrong with him?

I said. You told me to

because I did.

So you did. You have to call me anymore. I don't call.

That's simple. I mean, I don't call every day. He just had another baby. I called them.

I wish he could have been here. We talked the other morning when I got there Friday. I was so grateful for him, man and his wife

and the time he spent with me because he showed me something.

He showed me that I had to be convinced herself was going to manifest in various ways

and it was going to defeat me

and it didn't have to be dope. It'll change its uniform. It'll manifest as different things. See we just consider poor but it's common manifestations. I highly suggest there's about 300,000.

Don't neglect those 'cause I did and now I don't. I'm looking at everything. I have no choice. I have a fine strainer I don't have. No big calendar, non sliding through,

nothing sliding through.

I have a profound experience around step three because I didn't know how to have a profound experience around Step 3.

He didn't tell me what God to believe in. He said go and meditate. I said really?

And that's where it started.

I would set that timer and I would sit. Then I would set it at night and I would sit. And then he would ask me to do strange things

that were really strange actually,

but they shifted me. I remember calling him one day. I

Hey, Doug, it's hot out today, man. It's like 98°. I said, can I come over your house, cut your head, cut your finger bushes and mow your yard for you? Oh, you OK?

I said that's why I want to do it, because I'm OK.

Listen, man, we ain't got to do that,

I said. You don't know what I need to do.

I do.

I know what I need to do.

See, that's what I do.

I got a guy over here, picked him up from a treatment center. I love him so much. He's the hardest case dude I've ever worked with.

Oh my God, you know who you are. Dude, I don't even look.

You come over my, he come over my house. And we spent 5 1/2 hours reading 2 1/2 pages of the doctor's opinion. I had a spiritual experience.

He goes home,

he goes my house manager who was a counselor process said you need to find a new sponsor of that. I mean, you should have step four. I said probably. You aren't convinced that shit.

I ain't pushing you through these steps and killing you. I ain't rushing you through this,

man. If someone wiped out on a motorcycle on 635 right here, could you see the paramedic? Well, you know, I think personally we should just get him into physical rehabilitation today.

Excuse me? His spleen is on top of his forehead.

The dude needs to be in trauma emergency care right now and he didn't. You know, I see that happening. I did that. I was accusing myself and unfolding myself. I don't do that anymore.

So here's what happened. I spent six weeks on step one with this guy who just got out of a 45 day hardcore big book treatment center hardcore.

And I spotted him when I went down there and spoke. I

got out. He sought me out. Now you know you are.

I didn't even know

I love you so much. I'm serious.

It's been, it's been an amazing journey because in six weeks we spent on step one. He finished the steps in two weeks.

Mission accomplished in two months.

But I see people taking people through the steps for two months and their relapse

and they're relapsing. That's what I did.

Doug did it different. He said we're going. He actually used the word. Anyone open up to Yeah, we are a lot of y'all. Y'all are. He is Colombo. Remember him? One last thing,

you'll get me right there. One last thing, Doug said. We're going to investigate you.

I don't want to hear you saying something. Well, the book is clear. And the book says, who cares what it says? You aren't clear

if you don't know what to say. It isn't your truth. You can read this and spit it and it's someone else's truth. It's meaningless