The 4th National Annual Drug Addicts Anonymous Conference in Jensen Beach, FL

What's up guys? My name is Doug and I'm a drug addict.

I am the facilities chair and it's it's been really awesome this year to work on this and it it's it's so cool to see all you guys here and I'm just I'm really, really happy that you guys came and thank you so much because this was a lot of hard work, but it was also a lot of fun. I

I'm going to introduce our next speaker. This is Johnny T from Gainesville. I got to see him speak last year at the National Convention and it was, it was awesome. And I'm really excited to see what he's got to say today. So it's dry tea, everyone.

Hi y'all doing? I'm a doobiotic. My name is Johnny Tatum and I from Gainesville. I'm from Laudy, Florida. You all know where that's at.

It's in the middle of no deck anywhere.

We got one red light 700 people in loading.

Y'all got more people to hear almost We got laughter. I'll tell you this rural area lot of dope in those woods boys. A lot of dope in those words. I'm glad to be here Zach get outstanding job. I'd y'all like that. I thought he did a good job.

Well, we got to take Zach back to that place in Jacksonville. Oh, was it five years ago the where he did the, the knee walking, crawling in the shower place and he got to walking there, experience all that again. And and I was the guy who was managing the place now living there when we got there was that I thought I'd remember that. OK, pretty cool. Was that the guy you went up to?

That was the guy you went up there. Now he's a patient there. OK,

that's pretty cool.

All right, I guess I'm supposed to talk about Step 2 and Step 3.

Thank you for letting me share. See y'all tomorrow

let me tell you something. Step 2. You know we there's a lot of stuff that step two, we are not here to prove there is a God. That is not the steps. That is not what we do.

We're here to show you why you might need a higher power in your life.

You're the one who has to do the search.

The the foundation of step two. Came to believe that a power grading ourselves to restore society is step one. Because I want to take exactly what step one is, boys is a death sentence. Look, if your power is over drugs and alcohol, guess what? I'm powerless over blanket. I'm going to blink again. I'm proud of over being hungry. I won't get hungry again. I'm pilots over taking the leak. I'm going to take a leak again.

Your pilots over dope. Guess what

you're going to use again.

How long you been sober, Zach? 10 years. How many groups you have to start

Jennifer sponsored

dumbing shit. You know that.

That's the truth. See the first part of step one minute. We are part of, so we're not. That's the truth. That is your truth. The second part is your God,

the self management

managing that group. The reason we are we are so screwed is I can't control my consumption. I can't control my desire and the God I'm serving the God himself has made my life so bad. I trying to fix me, trying to make me better, trying to do this greed this, that, this, that serving the God of self, my life so I manage. Well, that's what that means. You're serving the God of self.

You got to hear all going to come up. No you ain't.

You got God, all your dadgum life, God himself. Why do you think your life is unimaginable?

Why do you think it's so unmanageable?

Because of God. You have is no bigger than you,

so I want to ask you. All we're going to ask you is Step 2. Bill made it pretty easy on step two said it's only a matter of being willing to believe in a power greater himself.

Nothing more is required making beginning now I'm going to tell you folks, we come in here from all different spectrums. We come in here from people who are raised in the church, who who believe, who have a belief, who know exactly who their power believe in the power in themselves. They what they call God, They know, they know, they know they could connect, but they know. All right, then we have people coming here. There's never been insurance, never believed in nothing. And we got 2 two different crowds. Let me tell you how it goes here, and I'm reading

this and Bill talked about it. We had a group over here because we used the word God. They didn't tell you how you're supposed to use that word God. You got to do it this and you got to do it that everything

using it wrong that we had the atheists of agnostics over here saying no, you can't use that word God, you're doing that. You can't talk about it and both of them are pissed off about Step 2. The only time to divide 1 an atheist arguing, I mean agree with each other is on Step 2. What else pistols were using it wrong. The others pistol were using it at all.

How else do you get 2 opposite people to agree with each other? That and Bill's thinking, Oh my God, what am I going to do?

He said. He didn't write the book, he empowered it.

And we come in here with the same problem. We come in here with such a wide, wide variety of belief system, OK, But the truth is, step one, I don't care what you believe or what you didn't believe, what you're pissed off about us using or what you're offended by the way we're using. The truth is, you're godless self.

How do you like the God of self?

It was just running your life perfectly, wasn't it?

Staying Stone got a death sentence, You got a death sentence, you're going to die. If you're lucky, you get set to prison.

How many people you know dead because of dope? How many people you know dead because of dope? How many people you know dead because of dope?

That's the truth and you're following

It's over 16 years. Help start me in groups. We started the first DA, a group and a oldest member of DA in the state of Florida.

It all mean crap. It don't mean crap, you know, because of step one, because I'm going to reuse again.

And that's the truth about Johnny. I introduced myself as a drug addict named Johnny Tatum. I don't introduce myself as Johnny Tatum, a drug addict. The reason I introduce myself as a drug addict because I need to remember that first.

It don't matter if I can't remember my damn name, long as I remember what the heck I am.

So step one is the truth and it is the motivating factor for everything else we do.

I I'm a little bit Pentecostal on this y'all. I'm a little sorry because I tell you what I

can't. I can't stand lounge chair speakers

you wanna make because we're dealing with a death sentence here and we come in here and let me tell you, Mom, get out of my deck up later.

Don't you feel bad? My wife's been dealing with me for 36 years. OK,

Step 2 and working with others, they help us approach this in a way that that we really need to look at. It says if we're dealing with the atheist or agnostic. On page 93 it says the main thing that he'd be willing to believe in a power greater than themselves

and live by spiritual principles if he's a devout one. At the bottom of page it says admit that she probably knows more than you do because his attention the however deepest faith and knowledge he could not apply to or he wouldn't be drunk.

Step two First, lay aside everything you think you know

you're wrong, because the truth is you didn't even know it. You were certainly serving the God Himself.

You thought you were Christian. No you weren't.

Result, you are late atheists. No, you weren't.

You thought you was Jewish. No, you weren't.

He was the God of sin. So let's set aside everything.

Let me tell you, if you've been really serving that God you believed in, you wouldn't be the selfish, self-centered, self absorbed nobody you was.

You would be something else. So if I want to, if I'm going to because of step one, because of step one, I got this death sentence over me and I can't fix it. See, the steps are pretty simple.

That wants the problem. Step 2 is the solutions. Step three, I decide to seek the solution somewhere between steps four. Step nine, you're gonna have a spiritual awakening. Step 1011, make sure we keep alive. You know what Step 2 is You want Step two? Really looks like step 12.

Step 12 is Step 2

if I'm to be restored to sanity. I'm a chronic hardcore drug addict, So what the sanity looked like for me? It looks like I have had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps. It looks like I'm trying to carry it as much as your other drug addicts and practice these principles along my fares.

That's Step 2.

The Step 2 appears before you come to, before you are restored to sanity. The Step 2 down there is after.

It's just too simple, baby.

This is how simple the steps are. My mechanics name is Oil Tanner. So I'm driving my truck down the road. My old diesel truck. Man, I'm just a motor. Whoa, baby, I'm going to town. I live in a little nowhere. It's a long way to town. OK, I'm going to town. All of a sudden, motor does this. Oil pressure. Gaze drops. Red lights come on. Smoke's coming out of my motor. Man. I fired us over my motor and I can't manage to fix it. Step one.

I believe all Tanner can fix my motor. Step 2.

I make a decision to turn my motor over all time. Step 3 All Tanner says I'm not going to do for you what you can do for yourself. Johnny, I want you to make a list of every defective part in that motor. Step four. I make a list of every defective part in my motor. Step five. I meant oil. These parts are bad.

Step six. I'm willing to have all removed these parts,

effective part. Step 7. All grabs up them defective parts, throws them in the garbage. Step eight, I'm willing to amend my mother. Step nine, I'm in my mother. Woo, yeah. I make amends of that motor for mistreating it all them years. Step 10. I continue to take inventory on my truck. Man I am checking the oil

air pressure in the tires. I'm keeping that joker wax radiator is clean. I'm looking for any little defect in that truck that might keep me from rolling down the road.

7-11, I improved my conscious contact with my mechanic.

I start hanging out in the garage. I'm hanging out of garage now, baby out there every chance I can. Step 12 I'm driving down the road. You're broke down. I said hey baby oil Tanner to fix your truck.

That's awesome

if if you are convinced of the first one.

So I'm going to drink and drug myself to death

and me trying to fix me, Me trying to self gratify me, me trying my little plans and designs. Everything else is my God.

Look, will I admit this? I can see it

was we have anything. Where can we start? Can we start simply, let's start simply over here with tradition one, our Commonwealth first come first personal recovery depends on the AU. So my recovery depends on DA unity,

the common welfare thing.

Common welfare means I got a common problem, common solution, common God because all of us are seeking a power greater than ourselves because we restore me to sanity.

If I can apply common welfare, which is others

that God, simple as it is, can I start there that a common welfare. I believe our common welfare can restore me to sanity.

The power of others helping others

power managing self.

Which one are you going to serve?

Which one are you going to serve?

The tracker to the agnostics? They give us a little, a little work to do

and it says,

therefore when we speak you of God, we mean you're on concession. This applies to the other spiritual expressions you may find in this book. Do not let any prejudice that you may have against spiritual terms deter you from honestly asking yourself what they mean

at the start.

It's not. Let's not miss this next sentence at the start. This is all we need to commence spiritual growth to affect our first first consciousness relationship with God as we understanding.

So the really Step 2 in the beginning is simple,

right? They're talking about something. What does that mean to me? See, we never would do that when we're under the God of self. We resist. Our ears are closed. We don't listen to nothing.

We are angry at religious people because of their judgment.

We think atheists and agnostics are fools.

That's up. Snorting Michael came myself to death.

Who's the damn fool? Me because of my God of self. OK, in the beginning I was willing to say our common welfare because I had no connection. I was brought up in the church y'all. I remember I was early in a meeting and and there was this lady I never forget her name. Her name was Barb. I'm two months sober and she was pissed off and we were saying the Lord's Prayer after the meeting. It was a Christian prayer

and I had two thoughts. Number one, I was embarrassed.

See, I didn't know it's Christian. I thought it was Jewish

at #2 I didn't care if it was Islamic. I'm saying it.

I I didn't care. I recently this past year and a half, I had a joy of sponsoring 3 Muslim doctors in a row, Bam bam, bam bam. But and while standing was holding hands with one and we were saying the Lords prayer and I looked through him and says disoffend you. He says, are you saying it? Johnny said yeah, he said that I'm saying it about three months later I had another we're saying the Lord's prayer. I looked at him and says this offend you? He says Johnny Donna drunk death offends me. This is just a prayer.

One of them emailed me the other day. I mean, texted me the other day,

says Johnny. I'm flying to Mecca to do some religious ceremony. Will you pray for me?

Now let me set the picture for you, because we have laid aside prejudice both of us had in our life. We got a I got a devout Muslim doctor from Kentucky

calling a redneck Christian boy from Bradford County.

Population 24,000 people in the whole county. One high school. OK backwards. You can get to pray for him as he flies to Micah.

Where else do you get that but in here?

When I quit serving the God of self,

Me trying to manage my life

and start trying to serve at least in the beginning, the God of our common welfare,

the group, the people, anything, the God that will keep me. Let me tell you something in the beginning, if that's where you start at school, things are going to change. Hopefully we'll grow into our beliefs. All right. If every one of us came in here with a belief in God and everything like that and a certain belief. Chapter 2 did not sits will be about 3 pages. OK. It would say, look, you've missed the point with, with, with God, you missed it.

Just just drop all your pressures. Let's start over again.

It doesn't do that because because we come from such a wide variety of beliefs. I mean, we have atheists, agnostics, Christian cast in the Christian, then we got Catholics, Baptists, Pentecostal, Methodists, and then we got the Jewish guys and then we got Muslim guys. I mean, we're, we got a wide variety here,

OK?

Flat variety of dying, dead men

and dead women, and you're going to tell me my God wants me to judge you because you're not a particular sect, a religion I was, and let you die because you don't believe like I do? The God I serve does not feel that way.

Let me tell you something. I'm very tolerant of anybodies higher power.

Please be tolerant of mine. You understand that I'm very tolerant of any. I remember I was in the nut house, right? So they got me in the nut house. I'm sitting there with a boy. I'm in the sawmill business. Y'all run along with sawmill. I'm sitting with the boy. We're looking at this big old plate, last one and this boy back there says Johnny, see that big old pine tree? Well I've been looking that tree for a while and I said yeah. I said, he says. That's my higher power

now. At two weeks over, I had sense of not to tell that poor fool that I cut down about 10 or 15 loads of those a day

and turn them into sawdust aborts. You want to me? OK. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't break his heart. Look, look, if you got this little boy and you're sponsoring and he decides he's a Buddhist, you jump up and down for him. Yeah. If you got this little girl you're sponsored and she decides she's Islamic, you just jump up down for him. If you got this little guy you think he's and he's got inside, he's just, you just jump up down for him, OK? Because we know this and he doesn't get some connection with some kind of power other than himself.

Chances are he's going back to snorting and drinking the doping. He'll probably get behind some will of a car. My babies are on the road

to whatever power they choose. Don't you judge

and don't you judge mine.

I see people get offended because some people say Jesus in the room. You jump up down when he says or not

or some other. You jump on down when he says

at least he's got something other than the power of self.

All right, Am I willing to set aside that uses the word prejudice over and over and over and over in a chapter agnostic, will you set everything you think you know about God good and bad because it's the truth. It's not going to change. Don't worry, baby, it's the truth. It's not going to change. But we missed something, something we missed. We have to start over again.

That's the simple as this. Let us make haste, reassure you

We found that as soon as we were able to lay aside prejudice and express even unwillingness to believe in a power grain ourselves, we can investigate results stepped in.

So it asked me to do one thing, set aside my prejudice, and then ask myself, what does that mean to me?

OK, And it's that easy. It said. Came to believe, baby. It didn't say starting out believing.

Read the step. Read the step. Baby. If you were so good with God, you wouldn't be here to begin with.

I'm sorry. You ain't that good at being that bad. You just tell me, like the rest of us,

Is that three-step 3?

If I confuse everybody, nothing,

it's that great, says I've description of the alcoholic. I chatted to the and our personal adventures before and after make clear 3 pertinent ideals ate that we were alcoholic could not manage our own lives

80 we are dope attic could not manage your own life. I'm a dope addict and I my God serving me is killing me beat it probably no human power could relieve me of my alcoholism. Both of them. Step one.

Step 2. That God couldn't. What if he were soft?

God could have would if he was that? See that word salt in her best word for us. Nobody's we dope addicts are the greatest seekers in the world.

So I'll sit in the cell trailer one time and I'm storing some cocaine as boys. A crack at it right then because he hugs up the love. He thought he saw a rock fall out of his pocket and it was in the bottom of this nasty ass closet. Y'all. I mean, stuff is this deep. He goes through that closet. Stuff is coming out like a surgeon. OK, he finds that rock.

We are the greatest seekers in the world. I can put you in North Mississippi in a town you ain't never been in, boy, and you be high tonight.

I could walk in a bar. This is how I got I could walk in a bar and look around. That was he snorting. That was eating pills

that he's a speed attic. I'm getting going.

We had that sixth sense. We could do it. We were the greatest seekers in the world. So that's some great news. Baby, I put you in a dry can. Ain't North Alabama and you be drunk tonight OK

Ah, these three because these ideals are very important because it says being convinced, being convinced of the ABC's. Are you convinced of those Abcs? Are you convinced them? If you are, we can move forward. If you ain't got to go backwards. Simple as that. It's just too easy which we decided to turn our will and our life over to God as we understanding just what do we mean? Just what do we do? Your will and your life is self.

I'm sorry. Just like, you know, manageability of your life itself. You will in your life. You're you're willing. Your life is your mind, your thoughts, your desires. What drives you is your conditions. Your is your dreams is your fears. It's your hate

is these thoughts that these people have done you wrong. It's your crimes against humanity. It's the crimes against you.

You notice the steps one and two, we never and never talk anything about what happened to you as a child or happened to you as adult. Does it have a damn thing to do with your alcoholism or drug addiction?

Doesn't have why I am a drug addict is that touched on it? The euphoria I get when I use is different than your euphoria that 90% of the world gets. I remember the first time I got drunk it was my me, my brother, my cousin. The euphoria I got behind that sawdust file was different than the rest of them. That's what makes me not apologize.

The Silkworth was specific the effect.

The effect starts it. The allergy continues it. The insanity kills you.

That's what it means. Didn't say anything about bad things happening as a kid. See, that's, that's it. That's the cunning, baffling part of alcoholism and drug addiction. That stuff that happened you. I'm not minimizing that, please, because a lot, a lot of us went through some stuff.

That stuff that happened to you does not make you a drug addict, but that's not to happen to you will keep you from recovering.

It will block you. It will block you if traumatic things as a child, that's what made you a drug addict. And I would not be sponsoring all these titty baby boys who who who mom and daddy loves Atlanta, GA and just gave them every little thing they wanted. You know what I mean?

If if dramatic things is what caused your drug addiction, then psychotherapy would work.

That's not what calls it. But it will block you from recovery, baby. It will block you. That is why step three is so important.

Are you willing to turn the disasters and the garbage of your life? The the harms done you, the harms you've done others, the dreams, the aspirations. You are thinking yourself,

are you willing? I'm not telling you to set people free. We're going to do that later. That's step four and five. OK. Are you willing to say, all right, God, you do the thinking of it.

Just the first requirement is to be that any life run on self. Oh, did we go talk about that self stuff again? Any any life run with a God named self. Any locker room with a God named Johnny

can hardly be obsessed

on that basis. We're almost always in collision with something or somebody. Has your dog and your life seemed like a dog fight till you got in the rooms of recovery?

Was it a dog fight? I mean nothing. It was assassins everywhere. Was your life littered with assassins who are out to screw you and everybody and everything is, you know, the assassins, They're after me. The cops hate me. They are after me. They are watching me. They'll let the dope man go, but they'll arrest me.

Bastards.

Mama loves my brother, my sister, but she hates me.

The boss man is sucking up to that. No good joker any. I'm working and he hates me.

She's running around, she don't love me. She's running around, she don't love me. She's running around, she don't love me.

Hell, you ain't got no girlfriend.

Wow, collision now did they give us some really thing right here? Most people try to live by self propulsion. You'd be in the God

each persons like the actor who wants to wants to run the whole show forever trying to arrange the lights about right of scenery. Forever trying to arrange your hatred

enough that it justifies your doubt

forever trying to arrange your victimization enough

that it justifies your developer

forever time to range wrongs done you a wrongs you done others. All the screw job you got out of life are your insecurities or your big shot isn't your superiority. See, this is the cunning, baffling part about this. The one who feels superior is using it just like the one who feels inferior.

The guy who and I have sponsors and superior Philly little jokers. Alright, I want to knock them in the head with a dadgum hammer. What I want to do really do is hit them in their knee and cripple them so they act like everybody else. Alright, you want to be

and I have sponsored sponsors of Superior Acting Jokers and I have sponsors and people who when I hear their story, I want to go shoot the people who harm them. OK,

wow. It says if his arrangements would only stay put. Have you been a if only person?

If only I'd had a better home. If only she hadn't left me.

If only the law hadn't arrested me. If only out of state, in school. If only. If only. If only has your life

serving you, the God of self, been a list of if onlys?

How do you like the God himself?

How you like it.

Then it says it goes on to say like we are kind, considered trying to get our way, we're kind, considered, gracious, modest, even self sacrificing or either we're mean, egotistical and selfish. We dope addicts are the greatest mind eye watchers in the world. I mean, we can read people's expressions with their back, turn towards us.

We'll be looking at them saying, hey, baby, man, you know, you know that man that lives down the road and I know he got some good dope. And yeah, I ain't got no money right now. But man, will you go down, Buddy Roy? Yo, I'll pay you back, Buddy Roy. And we're looking at him and we know he ain't fixed the deal with him.

We'll go just like this, won't we

like this for one side and and when we come into the fellowship, when we come into the common welfare that that that actually turns into a great gift because we're sitting in a room and your buddy walks in. We look what in the hell is wrong with you? Ain't never on me bullshit

because we practice watching eyes for years. Kids, we have practice. We have practice this God turns it into an asset. It used to be a liability because now with our fellows, our Commonwealth, are, we can automatically tell the ones that are disturbed

and we can be of use.

We used to be disturbing others.

Wow says what usually happens. The show doesn't come off well. He begins to think life doesn't treat him right. All

even sides become more gracious and whatever he becomes angry and digging itself bidding what is the base of trouble? Is he not really. They're hitting the unmanageability of your life square on the head. See before they ask you to turn it over on, on on page 63 here, they give you their last their last attempt at showing you why you should turn it over. We've given you lots of evidence about the physical evidence and and your insanity and all the chapters before

now they're giving it really nailing it on the head while we're actually going to turn our thinking over to God because it really screws. And now they're fixed to put a little statement on you that describes your manageability so well. It says what is the basic trouble? Is he not really a self seeker when trying to be kind?

Have you ever been driving down the road stop to change somebody's tire because you thought God was watching me give you brownie points?

I have.

Have you ever given strategy gifts during Christmas or something because you knew you've been living a selfish, self absorbed life so you'll give your children really fancy stuff or your boyfriend or girlfriend really fancy stuff to try to buy forgiveness?

Have you have you ever acted like you were concerned with somebody when really you were just trying to be nice, to try to be an actor? Have you ever started out a conversation? Hey buddy Rd. you remember when I got picked you up that time?

Does your act of kindness come with a cost?

Are there a payoff?

Is the payoff forgiveness is to pay off? Indebtedness is to pay off? Look at me is the payoff. I'm not as bad as the payoff? Self delusion.

Look at it

next one just beats the hell out of you.

Is he not? Are you not a victim? A victim means your suffering. Are you not a victim of delusion that you can rest satisfaction and happiness out of the world of all human as well? Are you not a victim of your own thinking? All your little plans to improve your life? If only I can get even with them for what they did to me.

Those bastards,

what they did to me, if only I could get even with them. I'll be OK.

If only I can get her,

I'll be OK.

So we do these things to try to get even, to try to get us or try to get ahead. And who do they screw us?

Talk about the unmanageability of your life when your own little plans and designs to improve your life through you.

Baby, I would fire you for running your own life a long time ago based on job performance. You suck at it.

You over on your own self and to the nut house and to the jailhouse and to the dog house and to the poor house.

Everybody's house but your own dadgum house.

She's left you. They won't talk to you

and you're so sick you think another line of cocaine to fix it.

The God of Self,

because the Goddess selves all you got you're screwed.

Are your own plans ruining your life. More evidence why I should make this decision

at the bottom. Are you the producer of Harmony or you produce some confusion? Can people set their clock by? Does your family know the check is coming home? When you say you're going to pick them up, are you going to pick them up? Does the boss man know you're going to show up? Does he know you're going to stay

or is it just a daggone mystery?

Will they show up? Was he going to say? How's he going to act? Is he going to show his ass

he's gonna blame everybody else? Is it gonna be full of self pity where we can't stand him or so damn Papas we can't stand him?

Because you can go either way,

right? It can go either way.

We'll use we'll use it.

It says we're self actor, self-centered, egocentric as people like to call it nowadays on this. This, this is the example. He says you're like this. He's describing the dope addict and he said this is what you're like. All right, and let's see. Do you like being like this? He's like the retired businessman who loves in the Florida sunshine in the winter complaining of the sad state of the nation. So let me set the picture for you. Retired businessman got money

sitting on the beach, sunglasses on.

Waves are splashing on the ocean, girls are running up and down the beach. Sun is shining perfectly and you're bitching.

Everybody would, man. He's got it, mate, and you're bitching.

He says that's what you're like. He says you're like the minister who sighs over the sins of the 20th century. Wait a minute. Built-in customers.

Ministers are here to serve to the sick. We got more sick, man. We're going to build this church, not this minister. This is too much.

I can't do it,

he says. That's what you're like.

You're like politicians and more farmers who think I would be utopia if the rest of the world would only behave. We got news for you. Y'all are not going to behave, much less the rest of the dagger world. Delusion.

Delusional.

The outlaw safe tracker who was lost on locked up. The outlaw say, wait a minute, the outlaw safe tracker stole from us and he's locked up and he's mad at us because we locked him up for stealing from us,

he says. That's what you're thinking is like. That's what you're like.

You're robbing everybody and you're pissed off because you got put in jail for robbing everybody and it's everybody's fault, but you're in jail.

And he doesn't, he really kind of folks, he doesn't really talk nice to us right here. He ain't really coming right out and saying you want SOB, I mean, but he's that come close to it.

I mean look at the language

using he's a selfishness. His self centeredness is the root of each trouble.

Look how they brought us at this point. Now it's cool. They started out by saying you were sick physically, you couldn't control your consumption. Doctors opinion. We agreed with that. Then it says, you know, you kind of sit, you kind of sit crazy, you can't control your desire, you're insane. You talk yourself in the user and we agreed with that. Then he told you lack of power was your problem with chapter 2 obstacles. We agree with that. Then he gets here and says did that come truth

yourself a self-centered SOB. If we start out the 12 step call by calling them a selfish, self-centered SOB, we lose them.

But if we start out the 12 step call by saying, hey, you're sick, physically,

segmentally, you have a lack of power, exactly the way the book is laid out, we can come to this point. I can accept this point because of what I've accepted in the past, Okay?

Driven by 100 forms of fear. Oh hell, they're gonna find out about me.

South Delusion. I'm really not that bad. Self seeking devils, Leave me alone, I'll be all right. If I can get even with people, I'll be all right if that. If society will punish that SOB who screwed me over, I'll be all right.

If I can only get that job, I'll be all right. If she'll only comes back, I'll be all right

if I can get her self Eddie. I ain't getting none of that. We step on the toes of my fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they heard a seemingly without provocation. The the old saying, I'm sitting in the refrigerator minding my own business. Next thing you know, here I am. You don't know that joke, do you? This is old boy. I live downstairs in this apartment. So big boy lived upstairs. He had this beautiful girlfriend.

Oh, the boy. The alcoholic would look at her, but she's going down the steps. He loved her. I'm gonna see her one day. Little big boy went to work one morning. The alcoholic stood up there and knocks on the apartment. She invites him in. Oh, you're so beautiful. You're so sweet. And he's trying to make us move on her. About a time the big guy had left his lunch bill Bam, bam, bam. He hears the door. Oh, hell, he's scared. She looks and says you're going to die. He runs, jumps in the refrigerator, closes the refrigerator,

scared to death Big Bang Boss and said I'd smell that SOB. What's that drunk at? Lord succeed shark tail hanging out refrigerator, fix the refrigerator up, throws it out three story building drunk dives. St. Peter says, what are you doing here? He says I was just sitting in the refrigerator minding my own daggone business, and here I am.

We actually believe that about our life.

We actually believe that.

So our troubles with acre basically are on making, which is some of the better you use in the book because if your trouble is people have harmed you or people you harmed in the past, if your trouble is your wife, IRS, the Police Department, you're screwed because you can't change them. But if your trouble is you, the only thing in this world you can change is you. And if your trouble is you, you can change it.

Good news, but the bad news comes next.

Says they arise out of ourselves and the alcoholic drug addict is an extreme example of self will run right? Does he though? He doesn't think so.

You're an extreme example of being your own God and you don't think so.

And it says above out we must be rid of the selfishness. We must or it kills us folks is as many death threats in this book as they are promises. We want to look for the promises. I'll tell you better look for the threats, okay?

It says this doesn't have one. But first of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn't work. How do we play God with our thinking? Usually contempt prior to investigation.

I hate to tell the story. About six or seven years ago, I was in Walmart, right? Walmart's got 15 item lane. I have my 6 items. I'm going to the 15 item or less lane. There's this lady in front of me, right? And she's got a quarter of a basket.

This, this is how crazy I am not sober when I'm doing this. I start counting the stuff in her basket

and I'm trying to get her to look at me so I can let her know what kind of bitch she is, right? And and she needs to get her her and her dad gum bunch at quarter buddy back and get over there with the rest of that got people because there's 15 item or less people are coming through

now. For all I know she has a mother with Alzheimer's disease in the car. Now she's just trying to get in and out.

Maybe she can't read. Maybe she didn't see the sign,

but no, me, the God of self is judging her. I have a tendency to drive a little fast going down the road,

so I get more big diesel truck. I'm going down the road and I come up on you. You want to have a big cattle guard on front. I come up on you and I back off. I expect you to get over

no longer. Well, it doesn't always work that way. I come up on. You don't get over God. I'm coming up on