The chapter There is a Solution at West End Big Book Awakening meeting in St. Paul, MN

Welcome to the Big book Awakening, St. Paul's West End Saturday morning woman's big book study. Thanks for listening today. As a big book study, the goal of this recording is to increase our collective knowledge of the big book Alcoholics Anonymous by sharing with each other. My name is Jenny E and I'm an alcoholic.

I'm Stephanie B,

I said. Today we're looking at Chapter 2. There is a solution,

page 17 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.

So we just finished up Bill's story where he gives us a good example of what his alcoholism looks like and how he found recovery. But I believe that he starts writing chapter 2 to give the rest of us Alcoholics some hope that we don't have to have the exact same experiences Bill, but as a shared collective group, we are experiencing the same pain. And the hope that he finds for us is that we're finding a common solution.

So the feeling of having shared a common peril in one element is a powerful the cement that binds us. But he's talking about the thing that really holds us together

is that we found the common solution and he's going to explain what that is in a really gentle way, because sometimes people will go running. If we start talking about spirituality and higher power

on page 18,

there are several things happening on this page and we'll go into them. For example, you'll notice that there's writing that are in a italics. And back when this book was published, getting things italicized in a book was quite difficult. So it's important to pay attention to those those statements throughout the book because in order to do that, he'd have to change out every single key on the typewriter in order to make it look like that. So those are important, important statements

at the top of page 18, An Elliot, an illness of the sort, and we have come to believe it is an illness. So he kind of reiterates what the doctor's opinion is, that we're suffering from a disease,

an allergy of the body, an obsession of the mind involves those of us in a way no other human sickness can. If a person has cancer, all of all are sorry for him and no one is angry or hurt. But not so

with the alcoholic illness.

For it there goes an annihilation of all things worthwhile in life. So for me, when I was in the height of my use,

I really, really wanted to just be bipolar because people would feel a little bit more sorry for me if I had some, something that they could understand and could explain my behavior.

The stigma of having addiction or alcoholism was, was and still is,

that is understand as a disease such as cancer. So I would go in and out of psych hospitals and I fail to mention that I had been drinking and taking drugs the whole time. And but I would, you know, explain my symptoms of like hearing voices and paranoia and like mania and not being able to sleep and sleeping too much, eating too much, too much, too much, too much. And one of my favorite diagnosis that I got was that I had

a unhealthy preoccupation

with pleasurable activity.

And I thought, well duh, thank God, Get Me Out of here so I can have a drink because that's really pleasurable.

So down on page 18 is where the italic letters are, and it's worth reading. But the ex problem drinker has found the solution. Who is properly armed with the facts about himself can genuinely win the entire confidence of another alcoholic in a few hours. Until such understanding is reached, a little or nothing can be accomplished. And so my journey included that once in the psych hospital

attack there

knew knew what was up, knew that this, you know, you just keep coming back here. And I think we both know why and mentioned, you know, have you ever tried to just take these meds without drinking?

And have you ever considered that maybe you could go to a, a rehabilitation center where you're not locked down and they'd actually let you smoke cigarettes and it you might like it, the food's better and you don't have to wear a gown. So

he planted that seed. And I knew, I mean, I knew that alcohol was was the problem.

It wasn't about taking alcohol with meds. So for me, once I was able to stop drinking all those symptoms went away which was amazing.

I'm 18. Also, I had mentioned a lot of things are going on in this page at the bottom I was pointed out to me that

Bills not really talking about sponsorship here, but he is talking about finding some sort of mentor influencer for us. And so he describes that the man who is making the approach has had the same difficulty that he obviously knows he is talking about, that his whole deportment shouts out the new prospect.

He's a man with a real answer that has no attitude of holier than thou, nothing whatever except the sincere desire to be helpful.

So, you know, we've run into people around the tables that have inventoried themselves and are living a life that looks desirable to us. And we often hang on to that person and they walk us through the steps and show us how to inventory ourselves and find the truth. So I did a little research on some of the influencers of Bill and I found that in 191955 at the A convention

in Saint Louis,

he introduced a man, Father Ed Dowling, and he introduced him as a spiritual advisor. And so that was that was somebody who

influenced not only Bill, but also contributed to what we'll later review as the spiritual experience. And then also for Doctor Bob. Doctor Bob worked at the Saint Thomas after he got sober. He worked at the Saint Thomas Hospital in Akron, OH. And he also had a person on staff, Sister Ignita, and she was involved in just helping people understand the spiritual nature of getting sober and getting better.

Night Page 19 None of us make a sole location of this work, nor do we think its effectiveness would be increased as if we did. And so he's warning us that he's not going to ask us to go join a monastery or lock ourselves away, that we're not going to have to give up our family, our friends, our life. He's going to teach us to live in the world that we've already been a part of, but using the tools that he's going to tell us about.

Zach has scare us away with any religious

talk. On page 19, in fact that whole last paragraph, he talks about all the different kind of people that are drawn to alcohol

and you saying we all are one and in our language are going to try very hard not to piss you off in this book.

And then page 20

and there is solution. Our very lives as X problem drinkers depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help, how we may help meet their needs.

During an interview, Doctor Bob was asked if he could describe Alcoholics Anonymous in the 12 steps and what the program is. Just a couple of words, what would that be? And he said love and service.

And so, you know, I'm kind of a person of few words. And so I'd like to just kind of dumb this down for me too. And so when it comes down to what part of this program do I need to look at if I'm not feeling right in my head, and it usually is in my loving everyone, am I doing my service work? And so just accept

love and tolerance is our code.

We have recovered from a hopeless condition of mind and body. So we often talk about people, if they introduce themselves, they say that I'm a recovered alcoholic. And I used to be confused by that because of the recovered. Why do they need to keep coming back here? So what the book is telling me is that we're going to recover from the hopeless condition that we were in.

There's not a cure.

Page 20 also kind of reiterates like what step one is telling us that we are powerless over alcohol and that our lives have become unmanageable. They describe that in the paragraph that starts how many times have people said to us, I can't, I can take it or leave it, Why can't he? Why don't you drink like a gentleman or quit? And that goes on and on and on. And it was pointed out to me that basically Bill's telling us that we don't have a choice. If we had a choice, we would take it or leave it,

or we would quit, or we would love our children enough that we wouldn't need to do that anymore. The choice is taken away

and that's mentioned throughout the book.

He goes on to talk about on 21 triggering our allergy.

That's the way I read into it.

It goes into no more choices, but it says, but what about the real alcoholic? He may start off as a moderate drinker. He may or may not become a continuous hard drinker, but at some stage of his drinking career, he begins to lose all control of his liquor consumption once he starts to drink. And so the allergies triggered, he's describing that. Of course, then we go into the obsession of the mind, but he's describing our bodies and how our body reacts to alcohol.

I just dealt with somebody last night who had a relapse and she believed that she was going to be able to drink for two days and just stop and not get caught and she couldn't stop. And I completely relate to that. On my last relapse,

I I planned it that I had the weekend off and nobody was going to be able to bother me. And I made sure I sent out all the information to people. I'm busy all weekend studying and then other I'm really sick. Don't come by. You don't want to get my cold. Well,

you know, I drank for the weekend and then five days after that weekend I ended up in the hospital. I could not stop.

Page 22 As matters grow worse, as if they could,

he begins to use a combination of high-powered sedative and alcohol to fight his nerves so he can go to work.

I like that Bill does kind of lace through the story in the book about mixing alcohol with other other medications. So often other 12 step programs think that we only talk about alcohol, but we talk about putting things in our body to fill some void that's not there. And he goes into this in just a couple of pages about, well, what is that void? What kind of hole are we trying to fill with the drugs, alcohol, people, sex, money, material things? And

he starts to use the word spiritual,

but he's kind of prepping us for that. Still.

Perhaps there will never be a full answer to these questions on why.

And I think at this point he's telling us that it doesn't matter why we started. It mostly matters how we're going to get to the solution to stop. If we waste too much time in the why, we're not really moving forward. He's going to walk us through the steps to kind of let go of the why.

Therefore, the main reason of an alcoholic centers in his mind rather than his body. That's a really powerful statement on 23. It's talking about, OK, so you've taken away the alcohol in my body. My allergy is no longer triggered. I'm not having the cravings, but there's still something in my mind saying that I need to put this in my body. He talks about the cravings are going to go away and now we got to work on the mind and it's not going to be as easy as just a pill. It's going to require

a solution

of a spiritual nature.

24 We go into the italic letters once again.

And so it says. The fact is that most Alcoholics, for reason yet obscure, have lost the power of choice and drink. Our so-called willpower becomes practically non-existent. We are unable at certain times to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and the humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against our first dream. I always focus on words with like humiliation

because, because that's completely where I was at

the humiliation of once again picking up again, having to stop having to get come back and eat humble pie. And so the humiliation for me also goes with Shane. And I was once told that like the humiliation brought me in to a A but humility will keep me here.

And then

I really liked the

the paragraph that says the alcoholic may stage himself in the most casual way. It won't burn me this time. So here's not here's how. Or perhaps he doesn't think at all. How often have some of us began to drink in a nonchalant way and after the third or fourth pound of the bar and said to ourselves, for God's sake, how do I ever get here again? I don't think I need to expand on that.

So Stephanie's going to walk us through the next half of this chapter.

I'm Seth, being him an alcoholic.

I'm kind of waiting it and these notes,

but the second part of this chapter I think kind of really focuses on the solution.

We start here on the bottom of page 24

in the first sentence, the last three words, A

and this is for the alcoholic. He has probably placed himself beyond human aid. I have that underlined because

this is where we have to start relying on that.

And this is

and the solution is through the 12 steps,

relying on God through the 12 steps.

It's not just first up or the second step or the third step. We

the solution is working the program all 12 steps

and that and through doing that

is where we're going to find our spiritual experience.

Page 25.

Of course, in italics. There is a solution that is all 12 steps.

None of us like the self searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires. The process is all 12 steps

requires for successful consummation.

I found that

I've had several spiritual experiences

I

but only while I'm working these steps. In the past I have just not worked stuff and so clearly

I wasn't getting anywhere and I was still drinking anyway. So

but we saw that it really worked in others. So my experience over and over again as I see it working in all of you.

For the longest time, I didn't think it would work for me. And

but it takes it takes work, right? I mean, this is where the action is. We have to, we have these spiritual experiences aren't just going, you know, aren't just going to come. I mean, like we can just show up at meetings, but it's it's just not going to happen that way. We have to put in the work.

Let's see.

Yeah, and the sentence

When therefore, we were approached by those in whom the problem had been solved, which is all of you who are recovered,

there was nothing left for us but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at our feet.

12 steps. I keep repeating myself because

this is what we have to take action and working.

Let's see.

And through that, in my experience, God has shown up for me.

Not on my time though, on

on God's time.

I just got back from the boundary waters. I went on A5 day trip

with

six other recovering alcoholic women and

I had many spiritual experiences up there.

This place was like the closest place to God that I've,

you know, ever been

into. No cell phones, no Facebook, no, you know, nothing.

There were a lot of metaphors

up there to life and recovery. It was pretty incredible. One of them was,

you know, I have no control over anything. I didn't have control how the person was paddling. I didn't have control over the bugs. I didn't have control over the big storm that came through.

What I do have control over is my reaction to all of it.

And that's so true in life. I've been going through kind of an emotionally hard time.

What God is, you know, showing up for me in ways that I think I'm going to see down the road. I may not be seeing you right now

and I don't think I would be at this place. I know I would not be at this place without

living in recovery and and doing my best to work these steps.

I like this sentence at the bottom of page 25. We were in a position where life was becoming impossible.

And then when I read that before I got to the end, I, I thought to myself, now is, is life now impossible

or is it tolerable? Because it's pretty hard right now, but it's tolerable. And then I go down to the bottom and that word is used, right?

One way to go on to the bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable situation

as best we could. The way I did it before was I drank because that was my solution. But now I have a solution

to living life sober.

It doesn't make life easier,

but it makes life tolerable.

I

see on page 26

they talk a lot about willingness and honesty.

Umm,

it's the willingness, our willingness to seek out this solution.

We don't really have to want to,

but it's our willingness if we.

I think for me,

seeing that it has worked for all of you sitting here makes me willing to think that possibly it could work for me. And that's all I need is the willingness.

Let's see

the paragraph on 26 A certain American businessman where it starts there

is consulted with, you know, psychiatrists. All they got all these doctors right.

But really the doctors couldn't even solve this problem.

It's it's a spiritual disease, it's a spiritual malady. And a lot of these doctors that were sought out came to believe that that was true.

Then on page 27 on the bottom.

Upon hearing this, our friend was somewhat relieved, for he reflected that after all, he was a good church member.

The Hope Harbor was destroyed by the doctors telling him that while his religious convictions were very good, that his Kate in his case they did not spell the necessary vital spiritual experience. This to me is hope for the agnostic

or anyone you know. This is an all inclusive

program and I find it so amazing that back in the day when this was written

that there was that idea, you know, because back then there was there were so many different dogmas and religion. And

that's why I think this is so incredible that this this

promotes the spiritual experience in the sense that it doesn't matter what your religion is, what you believe

is here for everyone.

A.

See and then on page 28,

second paragraph,

A new life has been given us. Or if you prefer a design for living that really works,

12 steps. All 12 steps

and then

in the paragraph following couple paragraphs after that. We have no desire to convince anyone that there is only one way by which faith can be acquired. Again, they're reiterating

and all inclusive.

This is all inclusive. It's for anybody,

even the, you know, even the most skeptic.

And then if you paragraphs down willing and honest again, those two words, the willingness and the honesty enough to try, just at least to try.

Let's see

bottom of that page, page 28. In the following chapter, there appears an explanation of alcoholism as we understand it, then a chapter addressed to the agnostic. There's a whole chapter

dedicated to the agnostic,

and that's pretty incredible that there's an entire chapter, you know, for the agnostic. Not my favorite chapter but

it's becoming actually a better chapter in my opinion. For me personally,

I think that's it for me, I just kind of wrong it.

So

thanks for listening.

You have anything more to add?

OK.