The Area 10 spring assembly in Aurora, CO

Good evening. My name is Kevin Peterson. I'm an alcoholic.

Thanks, Wayne.

Thanks for dinner,

it's good to be here. And thanks to the the committee too, for this,

for this assembly, for allowing Wayne to roll the dice and take a shot and letting me speak, you know, Well, hopefully I won't disappoint you too much, buddy. But we'll see what happens.

I am a member of the Denver Thursday night group. We meet in Denver on Thursday night.

You would be amazed how many people asked that question.

We meet in a church basement to really hide, you know, really keep things real and different. We have two meetings. The first meetings at 6:30. It's called the beginners meeting and it's an open meeting. And we have a Home group member that for the for four weeks goes over the first three steps because we think those are really important. And

then at 8:00 we have the big meeting,

big meetings closed. There's about 125 to 175 people that show up every Thursday night. And it's a call up podium meeting kind of like this. And you're given 7 minutes to speak and you're told what to say, what you were like, what happened and what you're like now. In 5 minutes you get a little sign with a guy that's a little hippie. It's gives you the peace sign. You have two minutes left. And at 7 minutes the guy goes has a red shirt and it says you're done, sit down.

I like that Group A lot.

I have a sponsor. His name's Jack. He lives in Gillette, WY. He has a sponsor. His name's Jerry. He lives in Manhattan, KS. I got to tell you, 20 years sober, the best deal I've ever had is one that lives 500 miles north and one's 1000 miles that way, man, It's fantastic.

The problem is they both lived in Denver and they both are guys that I really look up to and love and think the world of. And they have lots of friends in this room. So I know right now people are texting them. You're not going to believe what Kevin just said

because they call

narcs, You know, get in on me.

Jack and Jerry

are the men that I want to be and the men that I look up to. They are decent, kind, caring, loving people and they've shown me a long path.

Very, very blue moon. We get a chance to hang out together at a conference or an assembly like this.

And, you know, the three of us will be sitting around talking and, you know, Jerry will put his arm around me. And he said, you know, Kevin, it is our sponsee's job to keep us sober with all their antics. And I'm like, I know, is that the truth or what? And he goes and you're doing a hell of a job with Jack.

And they start laughing hysterically, You know? I love that. Nothing like being picked on, you know.

I've been continuously sober since May 5th, 1991.

I got sober in Southern California if you want to know what kind of person stops drinking on Cinco de Mayo in LA. Hi.

Things were going really well.

Couldn't have been the 6th. You know, I grew up in Palo Alto, CA

Yeah, it was a cute little college town. You know, it was a lot of fun. You really couldn't get into a lot of trouble and. And I tried, but, you know, I mean, I know when you look at me, you think international jewel thief, you know, CIA operative, you know, you know, crooked lawyer, something like that. But sadly, no. You have a

drunk fraternity boy in front of you, you know, and that's about as good as it's going to get with me.

I grew up in Palo Alto. You know, my, my mom and dad moved there because they wanted the kids to go to good schools and live in a good town and have a good place. And, you know, we had a really nice house. My dad was very successful, had a good job and, and my mom stayed home and raised my sister and I. And you know, we had, we had a pool, we had a golden retriever. You know, life was good. Life was fantastic.

I can tell you that. I remember as a child

hitting sips off Dad's cocktails. He was a Scotch man, and I like that stuff as a little kid. And I also remember you're going to love the little Colorado reference from a kid from Northern California. I remember opening Dad's Coors beer cans when they had the two pop top thing deals, you know, and thinking that was really cool, you know, and I'm shaking it up and handed it. That

was fun.

I hit alcohol when I was 12 years old and the Boy Scouts of America

didn't everybody. And we had a real active group and troop. We went backpacking about once or twice a month, went on these long trips out in the Sierras for weeks at a time and, and it was fun. It was great. I really had a good time. But I noticed when we were camping that the older guys always got to camp a little bit further away from the parents, and there was always stuff going on over there, and it was loud and it was raucous. And they were having a good time. And I wanted to get in on that.

And I did, you know, when I was 12, I kind of wandered over to that campsite

and checked out what was going on. It turned out they were drinking and they were doing some other non conference approved stuff. And and

and I like that a lot too.

So I'm hanging out with those guys having a great time. And, you know, I got to tell you, you know, in the part of the big book where Bill talks about how he has arrived, you know, and everything is going his way and drinking is working for him. That for me that was high school, 14 to 18, you know, and you know, you tell non Alcoholics or people that don't go down on that you're like, yeah, you know, drinking really work for me when I was 14. They're like what,

you know,

what did you just say? You know, you're like, well, I don't know. You know, it's just, you know, it was, it worked well. I had a lot of fun. I had a really good time. You know, I was a good athlete. It was a reasonable student, did well in school, had a lot of fun, had a lot of fun. As a matter of fact, I really enjoyed high school. My 30th high school reunion is coming up this August and I'm helping plan that. And it's, that's a real treat. You know it's going to be, it's going to be a really neat deal.

The fun really started for me,

the real serious fun was in the fall of 1982 when I I went to college and I, I was, I enrolled as a freshman at the University of Southern California in Los Angeles in 1982. And

that was awesome. You know, I found, I found a place that had an unlimited supply of booze, drugs and women, you know, And I was like, this is paradise. I am never leaving. You know, that's almost what happened.

Yeah.

And my fresh, my first week of school, actually the week before school, you go down there for orientation and this is going to give you a taste of what college was like for me.

They, they run you through orientation and they have all these cute little parties and bands and stuff like that. And are you welcome to college? Welcome to USC and all that kind of nonsense. And, and that was the weekend and you got to dig back into your, your memory banks. If you're 48 like me or a little bit older, that was the weekend that the, the guy who's Steve Wozniak that started one of the two guys that started Apple computer through a three day concert called the US Festival.

And I was supposed to be going to this orientation process, learning where my classes were, how to be a good student, you know, how to, how to behave properly in college. My buddies were like, dude, we're going to three day concert. Everyone's going to be there. And you know, I mean, it literally was every every band in 1982 was there and like, are you in? I'm like, hell yeah, I'm in. Let's go. You know, we went, we slept in the car and had a great time and it was a ball, you know, but that's what college was like for me. School, you know, school's getting in the way of a good time. I'm not going to school,

you know, and I could feel you full of stories of, you know, school and what I did and what I didn't do and all that sort of stuff. But the bottom line is after about six years of college.

And why is that funny?

After about six years of college, my parents wanted to know when I was going to graduate,

and so did I.

And so I sent the, I sent in the form, you know, you know, I don't know what the hell they call it, but it's the form where you figured out whether or not you're going to graduate. And, you know, what I got back in the mail was basically, what, what are you out of your mind? You know, we're not going to graduate. You're not even enrolled, you know, you know, and that's 'cause you're on academic probation, you owe us $10,000. And oh, by the way, you know, the the head cop at USC has been looking for you and he's got some unresolved issues. And

I miss college.

That was fun.

So of course, I got this letter and I read that, and I'm like, oh, I must be graduating this may, you know, And my freshman year, one of my best friends

said, hey, I've got this really great idea what we can do for fun. And I was like, yeah, OK, what are we going to do for fun? I'm always up for fun. And he's like, well, it turns out that you don't actually have to graduate to go through the graduation ceremonies.

You can rent A cap and gown

and you can buy announcements. Actually, when I tell the story and he's there, he's like, I never told you about the announcements. That was you.

So and he goes and then you walk. I mean, you know, this is 1982 or 83 or whatever you know, or whatever the hell. I just 88 and 188

and oh shit,

they, you know, they weren't as computerized. It wasn't quite the big deal.

And So what they did is they had a podium like this. And, you know, we were all standing there in our caps and gowns and doing our thing. And you walked up here, handed the guy a piece of paper and, you know, the guy read your name off. And it was, you know, Kevin Peterson, economics, Dean's list. Might as well go big, right?

I really did that.

My dad said that's what tipped him off.

I

so, so I faked my graduation from college, you know,

and you know, that's as good as it gets for me drinking. You know, I would love to have like a SWAT team story or be on CNN or, you know, thank God I wasn't drinking during camera phones on YouTube. I don't know how you kids are getting away with that nonsense, but you know,

that's it. That's my drinking summed up. You know, that's as good as it gets for me. You know, I graduated and went on to an illustrious. I moved back to Palo Alto and I moved, I went into an illustrious career of bartending

and what I like to call my own home, multi level marketing, pharmaceutical sales operation.

I got to tell you, I am a terrible drug dealer. I, I lost so much damn money. I mean, I was just constantly bleeding the money and I was doing it with my roommate and he's like, how are we constantly losing money? You know, what the hell is wrong with you?

And I'm bartending and I'm stealing money from the places I'm bartending. And I'm bartending in nice places, you know, And I'm having a lot of fun and going on a lot of great trips. You know, I went to the Super Bowl. I went to Mardi Gras, you know, and I followed the USC football team around the country. I mean, I had a blast, you know, And I looked at all my buddies who were dressing like this and

going to their nine to five jobs and, you know, grinding it out and doing the right thing. And I thought, you poor suckers, you know, look how lame your life is, you know? And. And at the time, you know, I was in my late 20s and they were kind of like, yeah, damn. And Kevin's having all the fun. And

in August of 1990,

we had a family reunion. My family, I'm the 4th generation from California and my family founded a little town in the Central California called Templeton, CA, which, you know, means we were the first farmers. That doesn't really, I mean, it's not like, you know, we didn't fund San Francisco, you know, and which kind of sucks, you know,

but, and so we had this huge family reunion,

20 people. It was a really big deal. There's a lot of fun. And my cousin and I were drunk the entire time. And I mean, you know, drunk wasted the entire time. And we had a ball. And at the end of the four day, three or four day event, my father looked at me and he said, hey, why don't we drive home together? And home was 4 hours away.

I was like, yeah, OK, sure 'cause you know, the car he had given me had somehow magically disappeared. And, you know, I needed the money. And so I not at the event, but earlier. So I hooked a ride home with dad and and we got up to his brand new BMW and he threw the keys at me. He's like, why don't you drive? And I should have smelled a rat and got in the car with dad.

Get out to the freeway. And here's how. Here's how the conversation starts. My dad's like, Kevin, you're my only son and I love you,

but I don't believe a word out of your mouth. I think you're a liar, cheating, a thief, probably an alcoholic and a drug addict. I don't think he graduated from college. I think the car I gave you sold for drugs. And he just sort of went down the list. And he said, you know, your mother and I are kind of done with you and we're kind of done with this crap. And he's got my keys in his hands and he's peeling off the house keys and peeling off the extra car keys, you know, and he's like, so here's the deal. You're no longer welcome in the house.

You're no longer welcome as part of the family. And your younger sister who idolized as you really doesn't want to be around you and can't stand you,

you know? And I remember thinking, God damn, 3 hours and 50 minutes left, you know,

the hell are we going to talk about now? You know,

I told this, I spoke about a year and a half ago in Boulder, and my parents came, and my sister and her husband came and I told this. And the people sitting behind my parents said it was hysterical because every time I told a story like that, my parents were like, Yep, yeah.

And as I'm not lying. And so, yeah, we got back to Palo Alto and, you know, and I was like, oh, they pulled this crap before, you know, trying to be all hard line on me and tough guy and. And

this time they actually meant it. They actually held their ground for like 3 or 4 weeks. And I was really getting pissed because, you know, I wasn't being able to take advantage of the opportunities that were provided by having wealthy parents. You know, I lived in an apartment with my buddy, my, my partner in my business. And you know, we were, I wasn't getting access to all the goodies I was used to getting and I was getting pissed and, and I was getting really angry. And I was like, you know, this is crap, man. My dad's treating me like crap. This is nonsense. He's been beating on me since I'm not physically, but he's been emotionally draining me since I was a child,

child. And oh, this is so terrible, you know?

So I did what every tough guy alcoholic does. I called mom, you know.

And the conversation went something like this. Mom, you dad, just jerk not let me in the house, in the car, you know, Mom was ready. And she said, oh, honey, you know, I think if you'd agreed to go see a therapist with Dad, he'd probably lighten up a little bit. I thought, therapist, no problem. I've been lying to those suckers for years, you know? So I started seeing the shrink of my dad

and a funny thing happened. I actually started telling the truth, you know, I actually came clean. Now, the fact that there was a third party, a witness in the room was very helpful, you know, and, and I, and, and I, I told the whole graduation story to dad, you know, and I'm not sober at this point, by the way. And every Thursday morning at 10:00, we're meeting with Julian. And then one week, my family, my mom and my dad went away for my mom's birthday. And

the therapist was like, hey, why don't we get together anyway?

And I was like, Oh yeah, sure, whatever. I don't care, you know, and

he's like, well, I want, you know, I'll see you Thursday morning at 10:00. I said OK, great, that sounds fantastic. And I roll in Thursday morning at 10:00 and I'm a little hungover and you're driving my scooter 'cause I don't have a car and

but I'm cool when I drive a scooter, you know?

And the guy looks at me and he's like, what do you want to talk about today, Kevin? I said, yeah, man, I don't really care because normally we pick up when Dad's here and we pick up where we left off last week. What do you want to talk about? And he looked at me and he's like, well, I definitely have something I want to talk about. And I was like, oh, OK, fine. What do you want to talk about as well? But you're the client, so you get to choose. I'm like, oh, Jesus Christ, what do you want? You know, And he looked me straight in the eye and he said, I think you're an alcoholic and I think he might be a drug addict.

And a very strange thing happened. I looked him back in the eye and said, I think you're right.

What do I do

now if you're an alcoholic like I am? That was not the first time anyone had said that to me. My family had tried a number of times. I had a girl that I'd been dating and she said we spent the weekend skiing together and we came back and we had she wanted to have this little heart to heart talk. And she said, you know, Kevin, I love you and, and I want to be with you and I want to be your girlfriend. But that means you got to quit drinking, doing drugs and sleeping with other girls.

Yeah.

And I looked at her and I said, you know, can I get back to you on that?

I really said that.

She lives in Colorado now. She never misses an opportunity to remind me. And

so when he hit me with that, I was like, yeah, man, you got me. What the hell is going on here? My life sucks. You know, Remember the last 90 days? We always talk about you. The 1st 30 days, the 1st 60 days, the 1st 90 days. Let's talk about that last 90 days. All hell is breaking loose in my life. You know, I'm not answering the phone. I'm sure as hell not answering the door. You know, at one time this guy came to the last 90 days. This guy came to the door and he's like,

it's Kevin Peterson here. I'm like, Nope, 'cause I realize he didn't know who the hell I am. He just asked.

And he's like, well, I'm here to repossess his Jeddah or GTI bought another car and wasn't making any payments. But I bought another car and I'm like, oh, yeah, I think he moved to LA. And the guy's like, oh, OK, well, here's my card. I'm like, I'm really sorry, dude, you have to have a rough day and see you later. And the guy took off. I'm like, I am a genius, you know, criminal mastermind, you know, lying to the repo man. So.

So I ended up, oh,

looked at me and he's like,

I want you to call this guy who runs a local rehab center and his names, you know, Barry, Doctor Rosen. And I was at Sequoia Hospital and I was like, yeah, I'm not going to jail. Thanks. Anyway. I'm not calling that guy.

And so like a week later, I'm back in therapy with my dad, you know, and the therapist is like, I think Kevin has something he wants to tell us. And and so I told I was like, oh, dad, I'm an alcoholic and I might be a drug addict. And my dad, he just took his visible sigh of relief. He's like, God, I knew something was going on. You're just, you're too damn smart to be screwing everything up all the time. And I'm like, thanks, dad. You know, love you too, pal.

And and the therapist is he's like, so hey, did you call my friend Barry at the rehab center? I'm like, that guy is so hard to get ahold of.

I'm. I have left him a message every goddamn day. I am trying my ass off. And he's like, oh, really? OK, hold on a second. And, you know, he walks over to his desk, picks up the phone, and he's like, hey, you know Barry. Yeah, it's Julian. Yeah, I remember that kid I told you about. Hold on.

Hi. Yeah, Yeah. Sorry I didn't return your call. Yeah, yeah, I know you don't work at 2:00 in the morning. Sorry about that. You know,

so I had an appointment with this dude and I went and sat with him for about two hours and we talked about, you know, alcoholism and you know what that was all about, what that looked like and what the story was. And he's like, so what's your plan, man? I said, well, I'm going back to LA. Turns out if I want to finish what I started at USC and, and, and I found out that if you got a job on the campus, a real full time staff job, school was free

because my parents applauded my decision to go back to school. But at that point, USC was $25,000 a year. They'd already, I'd already sucked six years out of them. And they were like, we think it's great you're coming back to school. Good luck.

I'm not getting anything out of us, champ. And so the guy was like, well, it sounds like you actually have a plan. If you didn't have a plan, I was going to throw you into inpatient for six weeks and outpatient for six months. He was just promised me one thing. I said, sure, what's that? Because when you get to LA, you go to an A, a meeting.

I was like, yeah, sure, no problem.

And what you're supposed to wait till I tell you before you laugh,

you know, And

three weeks later, when I moved to LA, you know, three days after I moved LA, of course, I went to my first a, a meeting. I have a friend. I've had a series of angels in my life that I've always watched over me. And one of them is this woman named Liz at USC. And she is the secretary of the president of the university. And if you work for any major institution or major corporation, anything along those lines, you realize the president, CEO, they're kind of a figurehead and they really don't have that much day-to-day power. But the secretary to the president

has the voice of God, you know, And I was her second son. I was her baby, you know, her, her. But her real son and I were drinking buddies and her husband and my dad were drinking buddies. And her husband had died of cancer and pancreatitis and all sorts of stuff. So I walked into her office

the June 3rd, I got sober on May 5th, and I did 28 days in an apartment by myself, smoking cigarettes, drinking coffee and watching 3 Stooges reruns. You know that's my version of rehab.

So I go. I walk into her office June 3rd,

1991 and I sat down with her and I said, Liz, I don't know if you realize this, but I never really graduated from USC. And she just smiled and she said, Kevin, I'm the president secretary. I'm well aware of the fact that you didn't graduate from USC and here's your long list of people you need to talk to. And I've already called them all and called in a favor in your name. And, and so we're going to get you back and roll in school. We're going to solve that problem. However, the first person at that top of that list, his name is Ron. He works in the athletic department. You need to go talk to him right now.

And I was like, OK, boom, 830 shot right over to the athletic department and sat down with this guy. And lo and behold, I swear to God, I was staring in a mirror. You know, here was a guy who had blonde hair, green eyes, little Chunky, had been a fraternity boy at USC and he was nine years sober.

And he proceeded to spend 2 hours with me describing the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. And I realized I could go to AA. If he's going to A, I can go to a. And that night he took me to my first meeting. And that meeting was the San Vicente Men's Stag. It's a 12,000 San Vicente. It's at 8:00 on Monday nights. It's in the church in the back on the upstairs. I walked in and there was a hundred guys and I thought, I swear to God, when I said agreed to go at an, A, a meeting, I thought I was going to walk into a place where there's going to be a bunch of guys pushing shopping carts wearing

coats, smelly, long, greasy hair and missing teeth. They were there. You know, I really liked those guys. We had a lot in common, which was weird, but you know, but there were a lot of other guys that looked just like me. And I just found my home and I found my first sponsor there. And my first sponsor was a big fat Armenian jeweler named Jack. And Jack was awesome, man. He was a great guy and he had

about 2025 guys that he sponsored and and then they're sort of satellites of the the kids that they sponsored. And, you know, good old Southern California sobriety. You know,

we nailed fellowship and service hard. Every meeting we went to, we went to a meeting every single night, every meeting we had some level of commitment. And this Southern California sobriety is a little bit different than here in the sense that they will manufacture on the spot a service commitment for you. Oh, you're new, Kevin. Oh, your job is to count the wrinkles in the tablecloth, you know,

and every week that number better be the same, you know, and if it is, then we're in big trouble. And so, you know, you're walking around thinking, man, I have the most important job in a if I don't count the wrinkles in the tablecloth, AA is going to literally fall apart. And, you know, but they do that stuff out there. And I bought into it hook, line and sinker. And I ran with this guy Jack, and this crowd of guys. And we had a lot of fun and we talked to each other every day and we went to meetings together all the time. We did stuff on the weekends. I mean, you never had a spare moment. I didn't know what you could go out drinking again.

I was too damn busy. You know, they would. My car got repossessed and a funny thing when you don't make payments and, and so I couldn't get a ride. I couldn't drive and meet the guys at the meeting. So they came and got me and I live in downtown Los Angeles and these guys lived on the West Side or the valley. It was way out of their way, but it was their service commitment. I found out later that one of them got stuck with the Kevin commitment. You know,

I'm not kidding about that. Either one of them made amends to me for being so pissed at me all the time.

And

so I'm running with this guy and this gang. We're having a great time. It's a lot of fun. And I make it about a year and a half and something starts to change. I am back doing all my bar and behavior. I am sleeping around. I'm writing bad checks. I'm getting in trouble at work for cutting corners. Oh, I got a job at the university and I started going back to school and I started taking one class at a time, you know, and,

and, you know, I just, I started to have this life,

you know, I started to have this responsible adult life. And, but after about 18 months, it was just not happening. It was falling apart. And I was, I didn't know what to do. And it turned out one of my buddies in our gang was feeling the same way. And he had about five years sobered. He confided in me that he was going to blow his head off and he had the gun. And I didn't understand that, you know, in our circle of our gang of, you know, guys, there was always like this revolving door kind of on the fringe, right? There's these guys that go in and go out, go in and go out

and you never figured out why. I never knew what was going on. I didn't understand it, but they just did. And my buddy Barry was his name confided to me that he was done. And then a really funny thing happened. Barry was a pharmacist in Santa Monica, CA and in walk to this guy into his pharmacy that we had seen speak repeatedly. Southern California is full of speaker meetings all the time. And we had seen this guy Joe Hawk, who's now passed away, so we can use his last name

speak a number of times.

And I got to tell you it wasn't for us. You know, he talked about the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous. He talked about the phenomenon of craving. He talked about writing inventory. He talked about making amends. Then he talked about carrying the message and helping others. Not very sexy or exciting. You know, we, we wanted, it's, it's LA man. We wanted to hear about the money, the prestige, the property, the women, the stuff, you know, all the goodies. I went to rehab and after I got done with rehab, I got all my goodies back. And now I'm a big fish. And look at me and, oh, you know, time's up.

OK, Well, go to meetings, you know, that's what we heard a lot. And this guy was boring. But this guy, Joe walks into Barry's pharmacy, takes one look at Barry, and he's like, and pardon me for my language because, man, you look like shit, you know? And Barry was like, well, you know, I'm five years sober and I sponsor 3 guys and I have a sponsor. And. And when we go to meetings every day and he starts outlining this, this intense, you know, time commitment that we have. And Joe looked at him and he's like, yeah,

where are you in the big book? And, you know, Barry just kind of gave him that blank stare that people give you when they don't understand what you're talking about. And he's like, huh,

you know, And Joe was like, what step are you on? And Barry's like, well, I say the third step prayer every morning. And Joe's like, that's not what I asked you, you know, what step are you on? And Barry didn't have an answer. So Joe's like, well, look, we have this little meeting on 2nd and Hill in Santa Monica on Tuesday nights at 7:30. It's called as it's outlined in the big book. And why don't you drop by and we'll see what we can do. And Barry dropped by because he was desperate

and things started to change. Buried no longer wanted to kill himself.

Barry started talking about these very strange things, like the phenomenon of craving, the mental obsession and the spiritual malady. He started quoting things out of the big book about Jim and Fred and the jaywalker. And we were like, where is this stuff? It's not my book, you know, what are you talking about? But I saw a change. I saw the change, you know, and, and another thing in Southern California, we called the person that brings you in, out from the cold. That is your Eskimo

and Barry for will ever be my Eskimo

because I can find it in him. At 18 months, I was ready to cash out. I was done. SAA stuff's crap. I want to go back to my old life. I'm miserable. And he said, why don't you come with me to this meeting and see what you think. And I walked into this powerful, powerful big book meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. And I felt the change, immediately felt the change. And these people were talking about real stuff. You know, they actually talked about drinking. I didn't know you could do that. I thought that was against the rules. You know, there's this one dude. I love this guy, Little gang banger

South Central named GW, and he would sit there and talk about holding onto a 40 oz. Or on a hot summer morning and feeling the sweat come off the can down on your fingers. I mean, I was just right there like, Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Magna malt liquor. That's my stuff, baby. I get it, you know, because I did it. I'm with them. And

I found a guy in that meeting that I really identified with. He was this really interesting dude named Miles. And he was a surfer and he was 40 years old and he was living with his parents and he was a house painter, you know, part time house painter. And he was actually living with his adopted parents and, and Redondo Beach. And I marched up to him. I said, hey, Miles, I'd like you to be my sponsor. And he's like, well, I don't know. What makes you think you're an alcoholic?

Well God damn, I better be. I've been spending a lot of time with these people.

Jesus Christ, you know,

want my year and a half back and

it's at about 500 bucks. I want my God damn money, you know, and, and he's like, well, here's my phone number. Why don't you give me a call? So I called him and I was like, yo, I really want you to be my sponsor and I want to get together with you. And he's like, well, Kevin, I have Friday nights at 7:00 available at my house down here, Redondo Beach. So if you want to come, that's great. And I was like, yeah, Miles, here's the thing, I don't have a car. It got repossessed. I live downtown Los Angeles. That's about 3035 minutes away from you.

I was kind of hoping you could come to me and hang out with me at my house. And I swear to God, I could hear him smile on the phone,

he said. Kevin, you don't have anything I want. You know,

if you want what I have, you'll be at my house on Friday night at 7:00. And guess where I was for the next year and a half of my life on Friday night at 7:00. And we did a revolutionary thing. That man opened up the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous and he started on the empty pages. And he said, Kevin, this is what, you know, about a, A

I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know.

And away we went. You know, he read the book to me as if I was illiterate. Turned out I was, you know, and he, he outlined the program of action in the 1st 164 pages. He would get to a story and he'd read the story about the jaywalker, about Jim, about Fred, about the phenomenon of craving, you know, the story about the important business appointment that got missed. And he'd read that story to me. And he'd stop and he'd say, next week, Kevin, you need to come back with your story, your version of

this story. You don't just get to say, yeah, I did that. You got to come back with your exact. I want to know who you were with, what you were drinking, what you were wearing, what bar you were at, what it smelled like. And I was just like, oh, shit, all right, no problem. And at the end of the night, he would close his big book and he would look at me. He'd say, Kevin, do you know why we're doing this? And I'd say, yes, Miles, so I can stay sober the rest of my life. And he'd say, wrong, come back next week.

And then the next week I'd have another flowery answer like, you know, oh, so I can become a better citizen. And he's like, no, wrong, come back next week, you know, And then the week after that, it was because I was going to be a better family member, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm a pretty sharp guy. So after about eight weeks of this, you know, I looked at him and I was like, no, Miles, I don't know why we're doing this. Please tell me why are we doing this

jerk

and say that, you know, and he looked at me and he said he closed his book and he looked at me. And he said, because, Kevin, in the very near future, some kids going to walk up to you and he's going to ask you for help. And he's going to ask you to take him through the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. And he's going to knock on your door. He's going to call your phone. He's going to corner you at a meeting. And if you're not properly armed with the facts about yourself and your relationship with God, alcohol in the 12 steps, you'll probably kill him.

That's why you're going to do this,

he said. I don't give a damn. He who graduated from college. I don't care if you make money. I don't care if you find the woman of your dreams. I don't care if you buy that big Ford truck that you've been dreaming about. None of that crap matters to me. All that matters to me is that you step up to the plate and help someone when they ask for help and that that's your number one priority for the rest of your life. See, you're in a unique position.

No one else has your experience in your story, they said. And I guarantee you, you're going to run across an array of drug fraternity boys and they're going to flock to you like the Pied Piper, you know, and, and he was right. He was damn right. And we want to we, we just went through the process of working the 12 steps together and we had a ball, you know, I really enjoyed it. I found my way down to that man's house every every Friday night. Then his, his real father in Nevada got cancer and he had to go take care of his real dad because that's what

that's what we do, you know, we step up and he handed me off to another guy, you know, and that guy got me through my amends, you know, and about that time, 1993 or so, my sister had moved to Boulder and I came out to visit and I was just like, whoa, this place is awesome. It beats the hell out of LA. Let me tell you. I've had enough of that place. And our little group had these

these retreats we go on in Santa Barbara at a monastery. And this old guy from Denver would come out and he'd bring this other old guy. And that was Don and Gary, you know, and they come out and they'd,

they just talk about the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous and how to work the 12 steps. That's all they would do was just lay the stories down on us and talk to us. And, and I didn't know what was going on, but I sure as hell knew I wanted what those guys had. And that's really what it came down to. So I followed them. You know, my sister moved to Colorado. I was like, I'm going to Colorado. I know it's safe because, you know, that's where Don and Gary live. And so in August of 1995, I moved out to Colorado and,

and the first man I met,

actually the first AM Prime met, was Heidi Huff. Oops, Heidi H, sorry, and my bad. And she and David, her husband Don, gave me their phone number 'cause I was living in Arvada and they lived up in Broomfield and I went to their house to go to. The first meeting I came to in Colorado was an old meeting that a bunch of us used to go to up in Broomfield called Change or Die, you know, And right on, Thomas.