Step 2 at a Men's OA Tool Time Retreat in Oceanside, CA

Hi, my name is Frank. I'm a recovery compulsory reader and I see that I'm going to have to speed up my delivery here, so I'll try to get the essential points in. But Step 2 is came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore insanity. Now you know I I was trained in physics and science and science doesn't believe things. They don't believe laws, they don't believe anything. They gather evidence. So if I could rewrite step two, I would rewrite it as gathered evidence that a power greater than our

sanity. And that's what I'm going to be talking about here, gathering that evidence. So first of all, why do we need step two? Well, on page 43 it says his defense against that first drink must come from a higher power. If he's powerless over food, there must be a higher power that gives it to him. On page 45, it says we had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a power greater than ourselves. Obviously that's obvious, guys. You got to be a power grade in ourselves.

So on page 80,

on page 46, it says we found that as soon as we were able to lay aside prejudice and express even a willingness to believe in a power greater than ourselves, we commence to get results, even though it was impossible for any of us to fully define or comprehend that power which is God. Now for me, I, that's essentially the wisdom that my sponsor gave me when I, as I was talking about yesterday, he got me to first of all, give up the debate, which is lay aside prejudice.

You know, I had a proof that God didn't exist. I laid aside that prejudice and gave up the debate and then expressed even a willingness and that was acting as if if I could just act as if I believed in a God and see if it worked. That's the gathering the evidence part. So if I act as if I believe in God and it works when I do that, that's the evidence that I need to work. Step 2 here and

there was something else I was going to say about that.

So and the other thing is I, you know, I use the word God here. I actually have no problem with calling it God. And in my mind, I'd translate that to higher power. And when you guys talk about God, I translate that the higher power, higher self, the higher self within me. That's where my God is. And your God might be somewhere else. It's got certainly in your head at least, but it may be other other places too. But I have no problem with using the word God because I just have my own understanding of what it is, which is it's my higher self. It's the God within me.

So now how do you get that higher power?

And the good news is on page 46. We do not need to consider another persons conceptions of God. Our own conception, however inadequate, was sufficient to make an approach and to affect the contact with Him. As soon as we admitted the possible existence of a creative intelligence of Spirit, of the universe underlying the totality of things, we began to be possessed of a new sense of power and direction. Provided we took other simple steps.

We found this God does not make too harsh terms for us to seek Him. To us the realm of the Spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive, never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek it. It is open to believe in all men

and and the reason that we do this is because if you're faced on page 46, if you're faced with alcoholic destruction, we soon become open minded on spiritual matters as we tried to be on other questions. So you know, it's it's the food is going to kill us. And that's what makes us be willing to to to suggest maybe a higher power can help me.

And when Bill's friend Ebby visited him on page 12 of Bill's story says my friend suggested what then seemed the novel idea. He said, why don't you choose your own conception of God? And and that's the thing here. We don't have any dogma in this program that says God is this God is that you have to believe all these facts about God. And when Bill went on his last Bender, this is describing Bill's spiritual awakening on page 56. He went on the last Bender after Abby talked to him. He went on his last Bender and then he was hospitalized again. And when he was in the hospital, he said,

But later, alone in his hospital room, he asked himself this question, Is it possible that all the religious people I have known are wrong? While pondering the question, he felt as though he lived in hell. Then, like a Thunderbolt, a great thought came to him. They crowded out all else. Who are you to say there is no God? This man Bill recounts that he tumbled out of his bed to his knees, and in a few seconds he was overwhelmed by a conviction of the presence of God. So that's the sudden spiritual awakening that Bill had. Now, when the 1st,

the first printing of the first big book didn't have an appendix, 2IN it. And in fact the 12th step was different than our 12th step today, it said having had a spiritual experience as a result of working these steps, we tried to carry this message to other Alcoholics and practice instruments. So when they went to the second printing of the big Book, they changed 12th, the 12th step from spiritual experience to spiritual awakening. And they added the spiritual experience appendix appendix to a spiritual experience

and

skip ahead here. I might come back to that. But so the, the reason that he put that in there is because the many people in a a had the slow kind of spiritual experience, not the quick one that Bill had. And so he wanted you to read that. Well, first of all, what is the spiritual experience? First, the spiritual experience in a doctor's opinion, is an entire psychic change. And the spiritual experience on get page 25. It's it's revolutionized our whole attitude towards life, towards our fellow and towards God's universe.

So that can happen suddenly like it did in Bills case, or it can happen slowly over a period of time. And when Bill added the appendix 2IN there, he also put in three footnotes. And he really wanted to read Appendix 2 because on page 25 it says fully explained Appendix 2. On page 28, it says for amplification. These are footnotes at the bottom of the page for for amplification C Appendix 2. Now on page 47 it says please be sure to read Appendix 2 on spiritual experience.

So he really wanted to read it. And what he says in this spiritual experience appendix is that

that you can have the slow kind of spiritual experience that the can't find this young.

I can't find the quote here, but it talks about that. And, and the description of the spiritual experience in Appendix 2 is that it's awareness of a power greater than ourselves is the essence of a spiritual experience. The other way it's defined is it's the personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism. So if you have recovered, if you are recovering from compulsive reading by not binging one day at a time, you've had a spiritual experience. The fact that you're not binging is evidence of your spiritual experience,

and there's a profound alteration on a reaction to life. You know, we, we don't eat because somebody said something to me. Oh, that's a good reason for you to go out and eat and binge.

And with few exceptions, our members find that they have tapped an unsuspected inner resource. So the, the, the, the spiritual experience in the God is an inner resource. I mean, they're made to the people that believe in the God that created the universe. That's fine, but it has to have a connection to you. That's what's the unsuspected inner resource that's in in them

and they presently identify that unsuspected inner resource with a power greater than themselves. That's all in the Appendix 2. Now the you know, the big book has lots of different names for this God. They that first of all, the doctor's opinion, the 1st way he refers to it is he calls it the moral psychology. And then later he says the powers of good and then later he just capitalized the word power and he talks about the power greater than themselves and that something more than human power is needed. So those were what the doctors opinion said,

big book. There's all kinds of of names like all powerful guiding, creative intelligence, bridge of reason, new land, great reality, presence of infinite power and love. God is the director, He's the principle. We are as agents, He is the father and we are as children. He's the new employer. So so those are all different names that that we use here and on page 27 they're talking about Doctor Carl Young, the psychologist. He said here and there once in a while, Alcoholics have had what we call vital spiritual experiences.

To me, these occurrences are phenomena. They appear in the nature of huge emotional displacements and rearrangements. Ideas, emotions and attitudes which were once the guiding forces of their lives are suddenly cast to one side and a completely new set of conceptions and motives begin to dominate them. So, so those are all descriptions of spiritual experience. And the reason I keep talking about that here is that to me, that's the evidence for your higher power. If you're having that spiritual experience, if you're having that psychic change, if you're having that ability to not take the first bite, that's evidence for your higher power. So it's

that's part of gathering the evidence is all of that. And then it talks about God is deep within us. On page 13 it says I was the test, my thinking by the new God consciousness within. So it's the new God consciousness within. On page 55 it says we found the great reality deep down, deep down within us. The other thing that they talk about in the big book is inspiration and intuition and

and the the 9th step. For example, it says we will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what could not do for ourselves.

So again, that intuition is the way of God's inspiring us. And on page 85 in the 10th step promises, it says much has already been said about receiving strength, inspiration, and direction from him who has all power and knowledge. So inspiration is God's way of telling us what, what what we are to do. And in Page 86 and step 11, it says,

what if we're facing a decision here we ask God for inspiration and intuitive thought or a decision. So if we don't know what to do, we ask God. And if we get an inspiration or an intuitive thought that helps us make a decision, that's God's, God's will for us. Now, The thing is, you got to be careful that it's really intuition and not just you rationalizing some answer. That's that's where you get into trouble there. And on page 87 on Step out of it also says what used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually became a working part of the mind.

Now the OA 12 and 12 mentions the word intuition 12/6 times in step three. One of them is a repeat of the big book description of it. But the OA 12 and 12 talks about inspiration, intuition as being the conduit to God's will for us. So that's that's my basis for that. So all of this is kind of my basis for thinking of my intuition as being my higher power. It's within me. It it's the intuitive thought that comes and answers my prayer. It tells me that I don't really need a snack right now.

Those kinds of those kinds of thoughts come from my intuitive part. So let me go on to step three and then we'll do minds about Step 2 and Step 3

and and do discussion.