Joe and Charlie giving their "Big Book Comes Alive" presentation

What did I do to hurt them?

Column three? Which part itself is affected?

Calling for? What feedings did I create in others

and column five? Which character defect caused me to do that in the 1st place? Just like I did with the other sheets

and we'll be doing Step 4,

5th column. We see all the information now. We'll need again for 5-6 and seven

first column. All those names will come off of this one and be added to the sheet to be used later on for Steps 8:00 and 9:00.

And when we're through with this sheet

and we've gathered up all the information we need now

for steps 45678 and 9:00,

how long did it take us to do this thing?

How long we've been talking about it? Three, 3 1/2 hours all told.

That's about as long as it takes to do the inventory.

You really, really don't need to spend a lot of time on this inventory. Just follow the directions, fill these little sheets out, gather up the information, see what you've learned from it, and then you can go ahead with the rest of the program. So we can't do redo 5678 and 9:00 until we have completed Step 4. Let's see what the book says.

If we've been thorough about our personal inventory, we have written down a lot.

We have listed and analyzed our resentments. Now, a lot of people don't like the word analyze, but to analyze something simply means to get down to the truth of it. This is another word that Bill uses. We've taken an honest, truthful, analytical, moral inventory, All of it meaning the truth.

They didn't say it, but we've listed and analyzed our fears.

We've listed and analyzed our sexual harm.

We've listed and analyzed our harms other than sexual.

We have begun to comprehend their futility and their fatality. We commenced to see their terrible destructiveness. Now here's another promise. And again we say you don't have to wait till you get to step 12 to get something. We have begun to learn patience, tolerance, patience and goodwill toward all men, even our enemies. My God, what a personality change for an alcoholic.

And all we've done is step forward for we look on them as sick people.

We have listed the people we've hurt by our conduct and are willing at the straight willing to straighten out the past if we can. In this book, you read again and again that faith did for us what we could not do for ourselves. We hope you're convinced now that God can remove whatever self will has blocked you off from Him

If you're already made a decision. Step three and an inventory of your grocer handicap.

You have made a good beginning. That being so, you have swallowed and digested some big chunks of truth about yourself, and that's something.

Now, I don't know whether you guys have noticed or not, but nearly all the information in the Big Book on sex is on page 69.

It really is.

I don't know that that got any meaning or anything. It just happens to be on page 69.

We heard we heard a story about a young lady who

fairly new to a a been sober just a few months and she went to her sponsor and she said sponsor, I've got a problem. And her sponsor said what is it? And she said well it's a sexual thing. She said anything I've ever done in a sexual area tried to attract a member of the office. This sex has always been while drinking. And she said sober. I just don't know what to do and how to function in this area.

The sponsor said, we'll go home and get out your book. Read page 69,

do what it says and everything will be OK. So the young lady went home, got out her book and proceeded to read. But she got confused on page numbers. Instead of page 69, she read page 96. Just for the hell of it. Go to your book and see what it says in Page 96.

I think that's one of the most appropriate things I've ever read. It just goes on and on and on and on. Let's let's take about a 15 minute break. We'll come back and start finishing this thing up. It's not going to take too long now,

by the way. By the way, the winning ticket is still on the roll. Nobody has

72. Now

this chapter is chapter 6 is called into action. It's not into thinking, it's into action. And action is a magic word, and I'll call it synonymous,

says, having made our personal inventory, what should we do about it? That's a good question, isn't it? Well, we've been trying to get a new attitude. Remember Doctor Young said ideas, emotions and attitudes with a guiding force of lives these people suddenly cast to one side. So we're trying to get a new attitude and a new relationship with our creator. Remember back on page 45 it said the main object of this book

which enabled me to find a power greater myself which would solve my problem. So I'm trying to get a a new attitude, new relation with my Creator

and discover the obstacles in our path. And what are some of those obstacles? The resentments, the fears, the guilt, shame, remorse, the harm we've done other people. Those are some of our obstacles in our path. We admitted certain defects. And what are those defects? Column five. Selfish, dishonest, self seeking, frightening, inconsiderate attitudes. We've ascertained in a rough way what the trouble is. We put our week, put our finger on the weak items in our personal inventory. Now these are about to be cast out.

This requires action on our part, which when completed, will mean that we've admitted to God, to ourselves, to another human being, the exact nature of our defects. This brings us to the fifth step in the program of recovery mentioned in the preceding chapter. OK, we've got to stop now and look at a couple of words

We know the Step 5 says we admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. But if you'll notice here in the narrative, he said this requires action on our part, which when completed will mean it was admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our defects. In the step itself, he used the word wrongs,

but in the narrative here he uses the word defects.

And people used to ask Bill about this and

they would say, Bill, why did you use wrongs and Step 5? But in the narrative you use the word defects. And by the way Bill, what's the difference anyhow between a wrong and five, a defect in six and a shortcoming in seven?

Now Joe and we've known 2 ladies that worked with and for Bill for years and they both tell us the same thing. People would ask Bill that question and he would kind of rare back and smile. And he said when I took English and writing courses in college, they taught me not to use the same words over and over and over. Shows how dumb you are. If you do, you know, you know, you know you know.

He said there's really no difference in these things. He said in step four we're going to find those things that block us from God. In step five, we're going to talk about him to another human being. In step six, we're going to have be willing to have God remove them. In step seven, we're going to ask him to take him away. And he said you can call him anything you want to

a wrong, a fault, a mistake, a defect, a shortcoming, a personality flaw or whatever you wish to.

And we're convention our mind that bills just simply use these words interchangeably. So he wouldn't be repeating himself over and over and over using the same term. Later on, I followed it up into the 12 and 12 and not only does it does it in 12 and 12, he does it even worse there than he did in the big book. And we're going to see him do it again here two or three times in this area of 5-6 and seven.

He said this is perhaps difficult, especially discussing our defects. There. He does it again. Instead of wrongs, he uses the word defects with another person. We think we've done well enough at admitting these things to ourselves. Well, there's doubt about that. An actual practice will usually find that a solitary self appraisal is insufficient. Many of us are necessary to go much further. We'd be more reconciled discussing ourselves with another person. We see a good reason why we should do so.

Well, the best reason first. If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking.

It's a good good idea, a good reason to go ahead and do the 5th step. So we want we can overcome the drinking. Here's a solitary self appraisal was insufficient. I did the very best I could do

to filling out these forms with the limited knowledge that I have. And by the way, I don't know of anybody in a, a, anywhere has ever done this inventory process perfectly. So you won't be the first. So don't even cry,

but a solitary self appraisal is insufficient. I did the best I could do with pulling out these forms to give you an idea of why solitary self appraisal is insufficient. I can look around the rooms here today and see your defective character very, very plainly, but one sitting right here on the front row.

See, there's nothing between me and Jim except air. I can see him playing. He can see me plainly,

but you see I can't see me playing me because there's a lifetime of rationalization and justification in me that I just can't see past. I need another human being to look at me and look at these things objectively, to help me see things that I couldn't see.

Look says. Time after time, newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives, trying to avoid this humming experience. They've turned easier methods. Almost invariably, they got drunk. Having persevered with the rest of the program, they wondered why they failed.

We think the reason is that they never completed their house cleaning. It took inventory all right, but hung on to some of the worst items in stock. They only thought they'd lost their egoism in fear. They only thought they'd humbled themselves. But they had not learned enough of humility, fearlessness and honesty in the sense we find it necessary until they told someone else all their life story. Now that's the little statement that fouled us up in Step 4.

Didn't know how to do Step 4. So we read about all our life story and we started writing our life story for a step forward. And like we said yesterday, I didn't really learn anything to contribute to my alcoholism by the writing of my life story. If the guy I took it to, if he had really known what he was doing, he might have been able to help me see these things, but he didn't know any more about it than I did,

so he just read it and threw it in the waste paper basket. 95% of my life story has nothing to do with my alcoholism. Anyhow,

I'm going to tell you what I've done.

If I've done the inventory the way the big book says, I've shared all my life story resentment wise. They didn't come in my mind just yesterday. They've been popping in my head as far back as I can remember. Some of mine went all the way back to my early childhood. I'd shared all my life story resentment wise. If I did the inventory the way the book says, I've shared all my fears.

Fears unfair to all my life story. Fears wise.

Those fears didn't come in my head just today. They've been popping in my head as far back as I can remember, all the way back to my childhood. If y'all shared all my harms done to others sexually and otherwise,

I've shared all my life story harms wise. I didn't hurt people just yesterday. I've been hurting people all my life. My mother said to me one time. She said, Charlie, you were the meanest kid I ever saw.

She said I had a little problem loving you myself.

When mama's got a problem loving you, Lookout, there's something going on.

I shared all my life story harms wise. And you know, that really is my life story. It revolves around resentments and fears and harms and guilt and remorse and all that kind of stuff. So if we've done it the way the big Book says to do it, you know, we have no argument with this statement at all. We have shared all of our life story with another human being.

Now here's why we really need to do it. More than most people, the alcoholic leads are double life.

He's very much the actor to the outer world. He presents his stage character. This is the one he likes his fellows to see. He wants to enjoy a certain reputation but knows in his heart he doesn't deserve it.

The inconsistencies made worse by the things he does on his sprees. Coming to his senses, he's revolted at certain episodes he vaguely remembers these memories are a nightmare. He tremors to think someone might have observed him. As fast as he can he pushes his memories far inside himself. He hopes they will never see the light of day. He is under constant fear and tension and that makes for more drinking.

Psychologists are inclined to agree with us.

We have spent thousands of dollars for examinations. We know but a few instances where we've given these doctors a fair break. We have seldom told them the whole truth, nor have we followed their advice. Unwilling to be honest with these sympathetic men, we were honest with no one else. Small wonder many in a medical profession have a low opinion of Alcoholics and their chance of recovery.

You know, I think we have to face the fact

now we Alcoholics have become the world's greatest con artists.

You have to if you're going to be a practice and alcoholic.

You can't be a fraction alcoholic unless you learn how to lie, how to how to steal, how to cheat, how to con, how to manipulate. And I think the one we have to calm the most is ourselves. I don't think we could live with ourselves if we had to honestly see what's going on when we're out there doing our thing. But you see, we never have to see those things

because we have that convenient little thing called resentments,

and we play them over and over and over in our head and gradually transfer all blame to others

and make ourselves as pure as the driven soul. Now, if you've been doing that for five, 10:15, 20-30 or forty years,

it's almost impossible to be honest with yourself.

We do the best we can in Step 4. Now then, I need to take this to another human being, one who has walked this walk before me, one who understands steps 45678 and nine, according to the big book, Alcoholics Anonymous. And have them help me see those things I can't see about me. They're not going to change anything. And column one,

they're going to change anything. And column two,

they're probably going to change some things in common. Three, Column three, where I said this particular thing was caused by the sex instinct, he said, Oh no, no, no, no. You just trying to build your self esteem here. That's all you're doing. Sex really doesn't have a hell of a lot to do with this.

Probably not going to change anything. Call them for may change some things. In column five, I said this one was caused by fear. He said, Oh no, no, this is just plain damn dishonesty. That's all this is. And he helped me see things about me I can't see. The greatest spiritual minds in the world today will tell you the same thing. They never, never make decisions

without first checking it with somebody else

to make sure they're looking at it truthfully. You know, I've been sober

35 years. I'm coming on 36

and I've got a sponsor today and he been sober the same length of time. I have six months more than I have. He never lets me forget it either. He reminds me

and if I got something really important in my life that I've got to make a decision on. I always go talk to him and I'm amazed how many times he says, Charlie, you're blowing smoke up your tail. Again, this is not true and he helps me say things I can't see about me. That old rationalization and justification steps in and makes me believe some things that aren't true sometime. I don't think we'll ever get over it. We need this now. I know confession is good for the soul,

and if you belong to a religion it requires it. You need to go do that. But I still think we need them to take this to somebody who really understands our program, 456789 according to the Big Book, and otherwise it's just going to be a confession. But those that really understand this can help us see the things we can't see about ourselves.

Page 74.

Page 74 deals with who to take this thing with. Now you got to remember in 1939 when the book was published,

the first person in California they didn't have an A sponsor to go to.

The first one in Florida didn't have a A sponsor. It was difficult for them to find somebody to take this fifth step with. That's what Page 74 is dealing with. But today we got plenty of good A A sponsors. We got plenty of good A A members that understand step 45678 and nine and can help us see those things we can't see.

For me, that's the criteria for who we should take it with.

If you, if you belong to that religion, go do it.

And hopefully, hopefully the priest might be a member of AA and they can really help you with it.

That if they don't understand four or 5678 and 9:00, then we need to get with somebody that understands those things can help us really see these things that we just can't, simply can't see for ourselves. Page 75 tells us how to do this step. By the way, Donald Rees, Donald Reeves,

have a have a credit card here of yours. Be up here after the meeting. I better put that in my pocket,

said when on page 75, when we decide who is to hear our story, we waste no time. There's that time factor again. We have a written inventory and prepared for a long talk. We explained to our partner what we're about to do and why we have to do it. He should realize that we're engaged upon a life and death errand. Most people approached in this, we'll be glad to help. They'll be honored by our confidence. I went over to see my sponsor Franklin's that time and he knew I was coming. I said, well, I'm here to do my inventory and he said

jokes and but first of all, that's you and I do the third step prayer and ask God to be with us in this process. That's the kind of sponsor that he was, thank God. And we sat there and began to do my inventory. Now this were these these forms really come in handy now, I mean really come in handy Now I can discuss these items from left to right rather than from top to bottom column to column. I'd go from left to right

all the way across,

gleaning all the information that I can from those columns and him asking me questions about this

particular incident or a person, how it affected me, what they do and all but I should have done asked me all those questions all the way across. Keeps us in some kind of an order too. And I can talk about these things all I wish to. I can tell someone else all my life story resentment wise now

and this will keep us in order. We get through with that first one and we go to the second one, discuss it all the way across, left to right, all the way across, gleaning all the information that we can from it. Him asking me questions, him asking me questions about these situations, helping me see things I couldn't see. When that's done, we go to the next one and the next one and the next one keeps you in some kind of order and helps you see things that you couldn't see by him asking questions of of things about these situations

very important at these forms at this time.

Book says that we pocket our pride to go to it. Illuminating ever twisted character, ever dark train of the past. Once having taken this step, withholding nothing, we get some more promises. Here's some more promises. Now we can look the world in the eye. We can be alone at perfect peace and ease our fears fall from us. We begin to feel the nearness of our Creator. We may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but step two we came to believe,

but now we have begin to have a spiritual experience.

The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly we feel as we're on a broader Hwy., walking hand in hand with the spirit of the universe.

I don't know about you, but I used to lay awake and I was thinking if I could ever get all this stuff back to 0, if I could ever fix those particular situations, everything would be okay. Well, now after doing this inventory and doing step 5:00, I could see the steps ahead. I was anxious then to do these steps ahead because I wanted to get it back to 0 just one time, and this was a starting place for me to do that. And I'd love

this step five and the information that I learned from it, because then I could repair the damage done in the past.

Now, if you've done steps four and five, you've done a lot of work up to this point. You're probably tired.

Big Bush going to give you a little rest stop.

Returning home, we find a place where we can be quiet for an hour.

He didn't say 62 days, did he?

Every time he mentions time it's right now,

carefully reviewing what we've done, we thank God from the bottom of our heart that we know Him better. We don't know Him yet, but we know Him better.

Taking this book down from our shelf, we turn to the page which contains the 12 steps. Carefully reading the 1st 5 proposals or steps, we ask if we've admitted anything, for we're building an arch through which we shall walk a freeman at last. Is our work solid so far?

Are the stones properly in place? Have we skimped on the cement put into the foundation? Have we tried to make mortar without sand?

And again, he's referring to this wonderfully effective spiritual structure, the building of the personality change sufficient to recover from alcoholism. Step one, willingness, was the foundation. Step 2, believing was the cornerstone. Step three, he told us his arch through which will pass to freedom. And step three was the keystone of that arch.

Now we've put two more stones in place.

We're gradually building this spiritual experience as we go through the steps

76.

If we can answer to our satisfaction, we then look at step 6.

We have emphasized willingness as being indispensable.

Are we now ready to let God remove from us all the things which we have admitted are objectionable?

Can He now take them all? Everyone,

if we still cling to something, we will not let go. We ask God to help us. Be willing. That's all of step 6,

and if you'll notice, he didn't say a thing in there about defects of character.

Step 6 says we're entirely ready to have God remove these defects of character.

But here he didn't say anything about defects of character,

did say are those things which we have admitted are objectionable

now? Surely, surely,

as we took our inventory and we looked out in that old 5th column

and we saw that old, selfish, dishonest, self seeking, frightened and inconsiderate human being we have become.

When we can see that those are the things that cause us to do the things that creates harms and hurts for other people

and causes them to retaliate and causes us to resent

that those are the things that cause us to have all the fears that we got,

that those are the things that cause us to hurt other people, sexually and otherwise,

then surely that type of character has now become objectionable to us.

And if so,

and if we're willing to have God remove those objectionable things,

than we've already done step 6.

But please don't make the mistake I did,

because I was convinced that God is all powerful and I still am today.

And I was convinced that He can do anything He wants to, and I'm still convinced of that today.

And I thought all I would need to do would turn to God and say, OK God, here I am

warts and all.

ZAP me and give me the 2995 special

and I'd never have to worry about that again.

But I found out that it doesn't work that way

because if I want God to remove those things from me,

then I have to be willing to do my part.

And sometimes when we see those things, even though we can see their objectionable to us,

sometimes we're still not willing to turn them loose.

Now, we human beings are funny things.

Sometimes we would rather sit in today's pain and suffering

because we've kind of learned how to handle that.

We would rather set in today's pain and suffering then take a chance on changing in the future

because we don't know what future change will bring.

If I'm going to have to get rid of my selfishness,

then how am I gonna get what I want?

If I'm gonna have to get rid of my dishonesty,

hell in the world am I gonna make a living.

I go. I do nothing about honesty when I came here.

If I'm gonna have to get rid of myself seeking frightened attitude,

where am I going to get the courage to do the things I need to do?

If I'm going to have to get rid of my inconsideration of other people and start considering them, then who's going to consider me?

And sometimes we would rather set in today's pain and suffering

then take a chance on changing.

And again I went to my sponsor and I said I don't think I can do step six and seven, he said. Why?

I said because if God removes all my character defects, I'm not going to have any personality left at all. Period.

And he said you're about 100% right.

But he said what?

But you don't understand

is if God takes those things away from you, they're going to have to be replaced with something else.

And he said what replaces him will be so much better

than anything you've ever had before. You'll wonder why it took you so long to get around to having God asking God to replace them,

but he said Charlie. You'll never know that

unless you're willing to take the chance.

And the book tells me, can he now take the mall? Everyone,

if we still cling to something, will not let go. We ask God to help us be willing prayer again, everyone of these action steps recognizes self cannot overcome self. We're always going to have to have God's help. And through the help of my sponsor, and by asking God to help me be willing, I finally became willing to turn loose of those things.

Now when ready, we say something like this.

My creator, I'm now waiting. You should have all to be good and bad.

I pray that you now remove from me every single defective character. Whoop, whoop. We're in step 7 now, and step 7 says shortcomings, and here he calls them defects. They see what he's done to us, the interchange, these words back, and he's confused the hell out of this. That's what he did.

I pray that you now remove from me every single defect a character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength as I go out from here to your bidding. Amen. We have then completed step 7

and like I said, I thought all I'd have to do it be asked God to take them away and they would automatically be gone.

But then once again, God's not going to allow another hole in my personality. I got enough holes in my head already.

If this old selfishness is going to disappear, if God's going to take it away,

He can't leave a blank in my personality.

It'll have to be replaced, and the only thing that can replace it is unselfishness.

And unselfishness does not come automatically.

If I want God to take away my selfishness,

then I must in every situation that comes up

and gather all the willpower I can and get all the help I can from God and start trying to practice

unselfishness.

And oh, that's very, very difficult for me to do.

But over a period of time, as God removes and as I practice the opposite,

slowly, slowly, slowly, the old idea dies

and a new idea takes its place,

and over a period of years I have become a relatively unselfish human being. Practice, practice, practice, practice.

If I want him to take away my dishonesty,

then I must. In every situation it comes up with all the willpower I can muster and all the help I can get from God. I must practice being honest and my God. It was almost impossible for me to do that in the beginning, but with God's help, I started trying to practice honesty. I quit lying so much. I quit stealing. I quit doing those things with God's help,

and slowly, slowly God removed the dishonesty

and I became a more honest human being. Practice, practice, practice. If I won't even take away myself seeking frightened attitude, then I've got to muster up all the courage I can and with God's help, force myself to do those things I was afraid to do,

and just as importantly, to force myself to quit doing those things I was afraid to quit. And slowly, slowly, slowly, the old idea dies and a new one takes his place. Today I'm a human being. It acts most of the time with faith and courage. Fear doesn't bother me very much anymore, but it takes time to do this. Practice, practice, practice.

If I won't even take away my in consideration of others,

then I must force myself, with all the strength I can gather and everything I can get from God, to start trying to consider other people first, their needs and their wants and their desires. Damn near impossible for people like me to do. But as we practice at it, it slowly, slowly becomes a habit and the old idea dies and a new one takes his place.

And my sponsor was 100% right.

Your life is so much better since I've become an unselfish human being.

Life is so much better since I've become an honest person. Life is so much better since I've become a person with faith and courage. Life is so much better when I've become a considerate human being. And he was right. I wondered why it took me so long to do it

now. God's not going to do this for us by Himself.

He gave us self will.

He said you can keep it as long as you want. It

said, I'll let you die on it if that's what you want to do.

We must do our part. And as we practice over and over, God removes and we practice the opposite. We change into different human beings. I have been reborn. I have been reborn. I'm not what I was when I came to the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.

I'm beginning to realize now what the book means when it said some of us tried to hold on to our old ideas

and the result was nil until we let go completely. You can't become selfish and unselfish at the same time. You're going to be one of the two. You can't become honest and dishonest at the same time. You're going to be one of the two. Always, always. We have to do our part and work at it. I think we're the luckiest people in the world. You know, most people out there are sick.

Most of them are going to the grave sick, not even knowing they're sick. We not only know what's wrong with us, we found that out in steps 4:00 and 5:00

through step six and seven. We have a way to change that situation and we get to live 2 lifetimes in one lifetime. Most people never get that opportunity. Now make no mistake about this, if you buy into this idea,

then that means from this day on you are responsible for what you are.

If you stay selfish, dishonest, self seeking, frightened and inconsiderate, that must mean that's the way you want to be. Because we don't have the luxury of blaming it on mother anymore. Can't blame it on daddy, can't blame it on God, and can't blame it on society. If we stay screwed up, it's because we want to stay screwed up. We don't have to be that way. Most people don't get this chance. Joe. You know, there's always a paradox in a A, isn't there?

Everything's exactly opposite what I thought it was going to be

the paradox here to give you an idea what a paradox is. How many of you have ever called your sponsor so you could listen?

Few hands.

Most of us call so we can talk, right? Supposed to be listening. You end up listening to you. You should. The paradox in this Two steps of this. They took the Doctor's opinion in the first four chapters to do steps one and two,

3 1/2 pages to do step, 3-8, pages to do step, 4-4 pages to do step five, and the whole chapter was working with others. The paradox is this, that two of the biggest steps in all of alcohols and almonds are on two little paragraphs. That's the paradox. These steps here are the tools of change. They're also the tools of acceptance. There was a movement here a while back about acceptance. Like people just walk around accepting things, you know?

I never could do that.

Acceptance is not an event, it's a process. And this is a process six and seven. Two of the biggest steps in all of Alcohol is Anonymous. And what do these come from? These are the two sets of Bill added to the tenants of the Oxford Group. And there was a story in that other big, big book about this guy named Saul, Saul. Saul was riding his

way. I read it. He was writing his ass on the way to to Damascus.

That's what it said. Big bolts of lightning come down and knocked him off his ass. On his ass. That's the way I read.

Pause Sauce. And they're dusting himself off and big booming voice said, hey Saul, can we talk you guys attention? Is he? Yeah, we can talk. What do you want to talk about? Maybe alcohol isn't got our attention too. He's just all you're very selfish, dishonest, self seeking, frightened and inconsiderate individual and you've harmed an awful lot of people basically. So he told him that and I want you to not do that anymore.

He said, well, how do you not do that?

It basically said do six and seven. If you'll do those things, then you'll change. And when you change, we'll call you Paul. And we all know that Paul was one of the greatest writers of worlds ever known. And sometime in Corinthians they asked the guy, Paul asked the guy asked Paul question, said hey, Paul said, what is the secret to life? Everybody wants to know what the secret to life is. And he said the secret to life is daily dying.

The old Saul had to die,

so the new Paul came alive. Six and seven, two of the biggest steps in all of Alcoholics Anonymous. The time I got to six and seven, a little doubt began to come into my mind.

Can he really can he really do this? I see what I have become. Can he really change me? Really little doubt became in and I had to reaffirm a statement I read other earlier. God either is written, either he can or he can't. What's my choice going to be? And I had to choose to believe that he could. And I set about to do that and see, I see

that kind of change, but I seen what I had become.

The change is now I'm trying to be what? Trying to become that which God intends for me to be. Six and seven is the tools of change,

then the tools of acceptance. I have accepted what I become because I'm not that way anymore. Thank God. Through six and seven, two of the biggest steps in all of Alcohol is Anonymous.

Oh yeah, yeah. An example, I went to the grocery store one time. Phyllis was working. I liked her being self supporting also

and I went by the Safeway in our area and picked up some salad dressing and some salad stuff to go home and cook a steak for her when she come home for from work.

And I was paying up at the cash register and this little girl gave me change for a $20 bill, but I had only given her ten. And I stood right there and watched her.

And I took the money and put it in my pocket and walked out the door. See, I thought it was a lot more than that. I sold out for $10. I thought it was worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. I got out in my car and I felt about that big. And I got back out of my car, went back in there and I said, you counted me up too much change, here's your $10 back. She said, boy, I sure do appreciate that. Said I would have had to pay for that,

you know, And I said, well, she's thank you for being honest. I said, well, I'm a member of a fellowship. It requires me to be honest,

and she said. I've never heard of a fellowship like that before,

and I said well, I haven't either

until then. So the next time I walked out I felt good again. 10 little dollars? Sell it out for that. Being dishonest for 10 bucks. God, I thought it was worth a lot more than that.

Practice, practice, practice and practice. And slowly those things become habitual, and the old eyes and the new one takes his place. Just that simple.

Now we got rid of resentments.

That was replaced with love, patience, tolerance, compassion and goodwill.

We got rid of fear that was filled with faith and courage.

We looked at the people we've harmed, but we really haven't done anything about the removal yet of the guilt and remorse associated with those people we've harmed. And if I want to be a complete human being again and want God to direct my entire thinking, and I've got to clean out this story and back here in the back of my head, that's filled with guilt and remorse.

And it's long been known how you do that.

The world is known forever. That you get rid of guilt and remorse by making restitution for those things you've done in the past. They didn't end up hurting others.

Now the original Alcoholics and our fellowship did not like the word restitution,