The Fellowship of the Spirit convention in Queens, NY

And I will try to set up the stage so that I can be father.

Can you hear me? I don't want lectures. Explore that. I'm not the money in my pocket.

I am not the car I drive. I'm not my group,

this last little inventory to give you the essence of it, he said. I've been getting tired because I've been at this so long that I know hundreds and hundreds of people and it seems to me they all called me last week.

Jesus, haven't you heard me yet? Is what's going through my head. I'm being put upon.

I've listened to four footsteps in the last three weeks and one of them he'd already fish tip with five other people. I was just a scalp on his belt when I'm feeling put upon.

Oh,

and I found it.

This is what my mind will do to spiritual principles

when anyone, anywhere reaches out for help. I want the hand of A to be there. For that I am responsible.

You know what I had done with that?

When anyone anywhere reaches out for help, I want to be there.

I am responsible for their life.

Shit,

it happens that quick.

Of course I'm responsible. I'm responsible on about the 15th call to say call Jerry for goodness sakes.

So so we don't have to waste time our imagery steps. That was the essence of it. I have become

hey again. I'm not a I'm just a old drunk.

OK, now I'm back in touch with God. What do you want me to do? Well, we've been doing it.

He wants me to go home tonight,

You know I know there I have a plane ticket.

I tell you the truth, I've been watching. Even if even if the car breaks down, I can walk the Lavaria from here and still can't see a plane.

Yeah, the sex inventory took Me 2 1/2 years to do it. I couldn't remember anything

when I did it. It was really short.

OK,

really short. Most of my sex life took place here. Most of it. I had two children. I was truly stunned that I'd gotten that far and somebody knew what to do. I didn't know.

I woke up to another

reason. I was having difficulty with relations with women.

I spent my life learning about women for men.

We don't know anything at all about women.

I get along final women now because I learned about women from women.

I went through 2 marriages

because I tried to be a husband and tried to have them be a wife and a mother. And I told you I rescued sick women because it made me feel useful. Well, I've been married to the same woman for 21 years now without a fight because I've learned how to be her husband. I've learned what I know about my wife from my wife.

I know what she likes and what she doesn't like and where I'm constantly exploring. I'm absolutely devoted to her.

With her was not enough to marry her. I had to make a different decision.

Our relationship is based on my relationship with God and her relationship with God, and that's the foundation.

And see, I don't need her.

She doesn't need me.

I'm fine when she's not around and she's fine when I'm not around. But it's better when we're together.

I'm not rude. See, God comes by invitation only,

never rude. You want to know what God isn't taking care of your problem because you haven't let it go yet. That's all

you keep saying. Give me, give me, give me. I wanted. I wanted. I wanted. It feels good. I can do something with this. Whatever you're saying,

I don't know how to

turn it over. That's so esoteric, I can't get it.

But I know how to let go.

I know how to abandon. I've done that all Malaya.

Walk off and leave it.

I don't know why in the world God want my problems anyway. He just doesn't want me to have them.

This clears my mind for that. The sex inventory for me today is a conduct inventory and thank God it is a conduct inventory. It's not a pornography inventory.

Conduct inventory that I can carry into my relationships at home in business. I just did an inventory about the business I was or the job I was in.

Found out I was not suited for that job so I wanted to resign.

They gave me a better job while I am suited for,

but I was having trouble with the job.

They wanted all this paperwork to get done. I didn't care whether it ever got done.

I'm not a good administrator.

I'm not a bureaucrat. My boss asked me a year, two years ago, would you be willing to become a bureaucrat? And I said I'll try it. A year and a half later, I had to go to him and say, I don't think this is good for me or you.

Yeah, I'm not a good administrator. I don't give a damn if it ever gets done. I have work to do, real work to do,

and all the way through this my wife says whatever you need my dear,

I'm going to shut down with an image.

You got enough of how I do inventory your technical experts anyway.

Yeah, when I think of my relationship with God, I think of one of the finest films I've ever seen called The Princess Bride.

Young farm boy and a young girl and he's absolutely in love with her

and she knows it and takes great advantage of it. She asked him to do things

and his response is always as you wish.

And that's what I found from God.

The response is always as you wish,

so behooves me

to stay in a place where I can say what I wish is what you wish.

And you know what he wants for me. I'm told right here he wants me to be happy,

be joyous, and to be free. He wants me to be the spearhead of his ever advancing creation. Well that's a Hummer, isn't it? Right out front where the point is sharp. Bring them on. I'm Zorro,

happy, joyous and free. He wants me to be kind,

with a genuine tolerance for other people and their opinions and attitudes.

He wants me to be a genuine service and to be useful. That's what he wants me to be. I don't have to think about it, right? It's all written down right here. People tell me I don't know what God's will is. I do,

if this is true, and so I practice that and sure enough, I'm happy and I'm joyous and I'm free. Not 24 hours a day. I got over the pursuit of happiness, by the way, because of Jerry Lewis. I get my spiritual messages from strange places. I was worried about being happy,

Jerry Lewis said. There's no such thing as happiness. You're just going to have to learn to be happy without it.

I'm not always joyous. I couldn't stand it.

I couldn't stand feeling as good as I do with my granddaughter 24 hours a day. I couldn't stand

at a moment of great joy.

I can live where I can die and it won't make the slightest bit of difference. And I think that's why most of us are afraid of joy.

Because I could go now. Life is finally complete.

Yeah, I can go now.

It scares the crap out of it.

Don't be afraid of it. Stick around. There's another dose right around the corner.

OK, well, on and on and on, Jerry.

Hell, I love reading. I love where he goes. Ally, you know something? I'm just going to just sit here and listen to

this deal about sex really is more about the relationship we have with one another.

And for those of us who are blessed with having, see, I'm married and most of you know, to a little sane woman called GAIL

and she's, and she and Jackie, by the way, are good friends. Uh,

my wife, I discovered many years ago

on Friday night when we were dating and

I, I said to her, I was in Wichita, KS and she lived in Kansas City. And

I said to her, what are you gonna do this weekend? And she had just got off work and she, what she did, she worked Monday through Friday there in Wichita and drove back to Kansas City for the weekend and where her home was. And so one Friday night, I, I, I really kind of wanted her to stay there in Wichita where I was. And so I said to her, I said, what are you going to do this weekend? She said, well, soon as I get off work, I've got to head for home. And I said, well, why don't you hang around and maybe we'll do something. And she said, well, no, I need to go to Kansas City and

see. And all my life, I had been able to kind of, you know, their little twisting and turning and whining and they would eventually do what I needed for him to do. And so I said, well, I, I really thought we'd do something this weekend. And she said, no, I've got to go to Kansas City. And so she got off work and she came by and, and, and

I noticed that she had her suitcases in the car and said, where are you going?

She's I'm going to Kansas City

and I went through some lame little gyration of whining and

I looked at her and she had started the engine and she was ready to leave. She just come by to say she was headed for Kansas City.

It dawned on me that it wasn't going to make any difference to what I did. She really didn't need me. She didn't need my approval. She was going to Kansas City.

I thought this is a neat deal.

I was able to see that for the very first time. I thought, this is a neat deal. This woman does not need me. She doesn't care whether I want her to go or not go. She's going to go do what she's going to do. And that was the beginning of one of the most beautiful relationships I have ever had in my life. Now, there's always humor to this, and Don carries this such lofty spiritual heights that I'm always hesitant to bring you back down to the street, but I'm going to anyway.

And I have to use Don and I have to use Jackie to tell the story because they're an integral part of it. See, I went through this sex inventory and it says many of us needed to throw overhauling there. And so I thought, my God, if anybody ever needed a thorough overhauling, I do. So I was a part of my prayers. I went into this, and I won't bore you with all the grim details of it. Mine was extremely short, also

very very short. And the bottom line of my sex inventory is, what should we have done instead?

You should have left her alone. That's always came down to that,

but any event.

In any event,

about a year later and this whole thing hadn't fallen into place yet. I still didn't. I still there was there was a piece missing. Same on my when my old man began to die and my new mind showed up, I couldn't even recognize what the new thinking was. I wasn't sure what it wasn't. And I and Don and I had gone down to a conference in Little Rock, AR. And by the way, is it all right if I tell him that story about little conference and and, and Conway AR and and living, he says that's all right. So hell, I probably would have told

anyway, but

but we go to this conference and, and where we've gone back out to the airport and in Little Rock and

he says, you know, he says, I, I've, I've been away from home for three days

and I, I thought, OK, that's, that's nice.

He said, you know, he said. Jackie really misses me when I've been gone as long.

That's nice,

he said. You know she's going to be horny when I get home.

Where are we going?

And then he said, he said. I think I'm going to give her a little

now. There's humor to that, but there's a spiritual principle involved.

That's the first time in my entire life that I had ever heard in terms of giving to the person that you dearly care for. See, I had grown up in locker rooms, as Don talks about with men and excuses. Late as this sounds crude, you're going to go home and get a little. I'd never heard in terms of go home and give a little.

I didn't know that

you talk about a spiritual awakening, but that was a missing piece,

was a missing piece. Now I have the kind of a I'm married to such a beautiful woman

that it's very easy to Make Love to her all the time.

From the time we wake up in the morning, I start

our courtship

and she likes it by the way.

And I don't care where it goes.

I'm always in a giving mood, don't get me wrong.

Yeah,

but I'm just,

I'm just there as a willing

lover,

willing friend.

And I let her call the shots.

I tell you what, it's it's been the it's been the basis of being the single best friendship I've ever had, the single best anything I've ever had. And she and I were talking just before I left for this trip and I'd use, I said, how's my soul mate doing today?

And she said,

God, I like to hear that.

God, I like to hear that. See, we're just going through life together,

doing this little thing together. And I'm here to give her anything that I can, anything that I have that she wants, I'll give it to her, whatever that happens to be. And a big part of that relationship is, is based on being quiet enough. See, my wife does like to talk God, she just loves those of you who know or know that she just God, she loves to talk. And it it has become a part of my nature to listen.

And so she liked that.

And all these things became possible as a result of this little process. For years people would ask me, well, Jerry, why don't you say something? Hell, I don't have anything to say.

In all my life I've tried to be what other people wanted me to be, and I can't be what somebody wants to be. I am whatever God is in the process of make, allowing me to become

and part of my processes. I have become a final listener. I get, I get excited. The truth of the matter is, your life is more interesting than mine.

My wife's thinking is more interesting than mine.

See, I'm the kind of a guy he'll try to take a a queen size box spring mattress down to the bottom of the stairs and turn into a narrow little doorway. That's the way my mind works. She has a great mind because she said no one that you go out and come in through the garage. It's a straight shot.

And so I like to listen to her

and that's all about giving her my time. And it really isn't a big deal. It's not normal. It's just great joy in it. Just great joy in that when I get home tonight, she will have three days worth of events that she's going to want to share with me. And I have a job today. When I get home tonight, I have I may have two jobs, who knows?

I'll do whatever I need to do.

Don talked to you earlier one time, he said. Can we ask God to go where we want to go?

Anywhere?

And I heard him say that one time, and I thought, you know, I wonder if that would work

in a very intimate setting for sex.

I thought either will or won't. Either I'm all the way in this deal or I'm not.

Try it. It's it's a nifty little deal.

It really is an empty little deal. This is about giving of ourselves one to another,

not about ever getting anything ever again. And that's a revolutionary thinking for me. I mean, that really is revolutionary thinking for me. All my old ideas had to be, I had to be willing to let go of them. I could talk to you about that. Just on and on and on because it's such a, it's been such a marvellous experience. My wife allows me to be the goofy guy that I am

and I really am. I'm weird and she doesn't mind.

You know why she doesn't mind? Because she asked what she's always saying to me. You allow me to be who I am.

And she said, I just love that freedom. Just love the freedom to be able to be. See, my wife is is, is is somewhat of a if she'd have had her, she'd have been on stage as a performer. She just loves to sing and dance. And that's that's her way. She she'd have been an actor, singing, dancing actress. And so she has that kind of spontaneity that she's just always bouncing around like a little rubber ball.

And with me, she gets to be that way. And she just loves it. Just loves it. Truth of manner as I do too.

I just love it that way and that's all a result of this little deal here. I have no expectations of her and then whatsoever,

I have a lot of fun and listen to 5th steps once in a while because people say, well, I just thought he would. Well, I just thought she should. And there's that little word just in there and I and I recognize that word because anytime I I think, well, she should just. And if she doesn't, just then it gets to be, God damn, why didn't she do that?

So what I'm sharing with you in the nature of the relationship I get to have with my wife today is a direct result of just following this little spiritual path here. Like I say, technically,

you know what, Don's talked to you about the Geno, how to do this, but in the spirit of it, this is a marvelous little deal and it is so very, very simple. What should I've done instead?

For many, many years? It really was simple as I should have left him alone,

get spiritually fit and he'll show up. I'd love to tell you the story of how my wife and I met. I had nothing to do with it. I really didn't. I was, I was being of service for charity function and she walked up to me and she said

do you ever go out to dinner?

And I said yeah. And she said, well, I work down here periodically, and when I'm here, I wouldn't mind us going out to dinner if you'd like to.

I thought that'd be all right.

I mean, she's cute.

And we've been going out to dinner ever since.

That was 1990. She's a grand woman. Like I say, I can talk on and on and on about her, about this whole deal.

Going to give you a little technical piece here

periodically, just because it's so much fun. I get together with folks who have some long term sobriety and we sit down for a weekend and we go through the entire step process.

Clint Hodges and I made it in 13 hours one time. It's brutal. Don't do it to new people,

but if you've been over this ground a time or two, let me give you a viewpoint of the sex inventory that will save you a whole lot of time and many reams of paper.

OK?

It's a conduct inventory.

I want to find out what my conduct is because it's separating me from God and from you. OK, so this time instead of making a list of people, institutions with principle and principles and then asking where have I been selfish and so on, start with the question where have I been selfish and let the list develop itself?

Where have I been self seeking and let the list develop itself? Where have I been inconsiderate?

The list will develop.

If you're awake and your mind is open,

the list will develop.

Am I unjustifyingly arousing jealousy, suspicion, or bitterness? That's a normal business tactic.

That is,

am I participating in that and where and the list will develop.

Got it. Real simple. It's surgical.

There's no way out.

What was I at fault?

What I have done instead? Almost anything but what I did.

OK, What should I have done instead? Is the question that tells me what I'm going to have to go do to clean this up.

You really pull it all together if you get truly honest and open to the thing.

It is on page 69 and 70. The whole thing wraps up.

This is how I'm to handle any problem in life. It's what it says.

We treat sex as we would any other problem. So how do I treat any problem? In meditation,

we ask God what we should do about each specific matter.

The answer will come you.

We want it.

How wonderful. I'm finally free if I can really do that. I no longer have scripts.

Life is a spontaneous thing, each specific matter. There's no rules here, there's principles.

What should I do about each specific matter?

Who am I to be here? It tells me in another place that I'm to ask him,

I'm to do what I think he would have me do and then ask for strength.

How would he have me handle this situation?

Man, life gets fun when you're in a situation where you know you don't have a clue. Then you start praying for a flood and all of a sudden something happens in your part of it.

I'm really a simple person. I don't know if you've got that yet.

I didn't even bring a tie with me.

I'm a very private person

and that's a fact.

I really am a very private person and while I love to travel, I even love being at home more.

I'm not the kind of person that you would normally pick

to be involved in world changing events,

but I got to be.

I got to go to Russia in 1988

with a very small group of people, talk to the Russians about Alcoholics Anonymous and the possibility,

but they might open the door enough that it could happen for them, for their Alcoholics.

That's pretty big stuff.

I just got a little kid.

I don't have a clue as to how to behave in a country where they don't even speak anything at all. I understand they there was a foreign country.

Their whole attitude was different. I don't have a clue

I but I learned to listen and what I was hearing is that they were saying because they said it openly. We do not trust you.

We do not trust Alcoholics Anonymous. You're Americans. All you want to do is use A to bring your imperialist ideas into our country. They said that in the front page of the newspaper about us.

What the hell you gonna do about that? I'm not a foreign diplomat. I'm just a little kid

and my compatriots, the folks I went with, I loved it dearly. One of the things I must tell you about the trip is that one the on a personal level, the event was so amazing to me because all four of us who went were able to set aside ourselves and be more concerned with the mission than we were our own well-being. It was an amazing thing to watch.

All of us did it and all of us are very self-centered people.

Please understand you don't get into the right place where you make a trip like that without some ego.

I've got one. I kept saying, yeah, I can handle it. Yeah, I can handle it. Yeah, I can handle it. Now I'm in a spot where I don't, I don't even know where I am,

and people are indicating to me that the entire possibility of a being allowed into Russia may lay on my shoulders.

I mean over my head,

get way over my head. So I got out of the way and did all this, remove my fear, direct my attention to what you would have me be, wanted me to be responsive. That's all.

And what I'm trying to tell you, I'm trying to get it set so you understand there's no ego on this

because there really wasn't.

We were brought a fella had written a book about a a Russian very pro AA

and those folks have an interesting thing they do with a book like that. It sold 50,000 copies. Writer Waterway. And then they had a huge public meeting with him and some government officials and hundreds and hundreds of people, Russians and policemen and court people and all all kinds of folks where they would critique the book. So his second edition would be a little better.

And we were invited

and we're sitting in the front row because we were the the dignitaries. They really have ceremony over there. Anyway, pretty soon they ask us to comment and I'm really aware I'm over my head. I've been listening to them questioning this author. They're going to get me. They're going to eat me a lot

pretty soon. They asked us to comment and I'm really aware I'm over my head. I've been listening to them questioning this author.

They're gonna get me. They're gonna eat me alive,

and my compatriots know that I'm willing to stand up and shoot my mouth off and be spontaneous with it. I don't want I'm talking about or not.

OK? Oh, I am.

And so they, someone asked this question. They said,

how do you think Alcoholics Anonymous will work in Russia? Now there's a trick one for you.

And I immediately did what this said. Oh God,

how do you want me to handle this one?

And I heard it come out of my mouth.

I said I really don't know. I've only been here 13 days. I have no way of knowing. I don't know if enough about you. And they applauded it

because it was the truth. I have no way of knowing.

I'm not here to sell you siding,

OK? I don't know. What I do know is it in 144 other languages and other countries and other cultures, it has words

that I do know.

And then I sat down,

stunned that I had finally said the right thing,

because I couldn't have thought of that.

God, how would you have me handle this one

in every circumstance?

And the inventory of course keeps me clear. But I got free locked up for a cell working on the eight step. I still have to go back and clear the decks. I don't want to be blindsided by anybody. And if I harm you, owe you.

If I harmed you, I owe you.

There is no slack in the way I have been taught to do amends.

If others are going to be involved, I need to consult them. However,

when I came out of the penitentiary I had a five year federal parole and what the hell did they give me? three-year state parole still to do so I was on paper and that means you don't leave the state. In fact, you don't hardly leave anything without contacting somebody.

And my memories began to come back and I remembered that

before my last arrest in Cheyenne, WY, at the Rexall Drugstore, I had cashed a bad check

to buy amphetamines with a prescription that I had also written myself.

We're looking at another seven years,

no question about it. And because you all taught me there is no slack here. I had to do something about it now, and I'm aware of it. I've got to do something. But other people would be involved in this. I'm getting my life back in order. I got two parole officers. We're going to have to make a decision if I go to Wyoming and get busted. They got decisions to make,

so I talked to my sponsor. We decided the best thing to do first of all is go talk to the parole officer and admit to him what had happened and what I had to do about it.

That's all spooky to go under your parole officer and say, by the way,

I'm about to go do seven years in Wyoming,

OK? He said. I truly understand

and they got a hold of the state parole officer that turned me over to him anyway and they decided if you decide to go, we will not violate you for leaving the state and if they arrest you, we won't violate you for that.

Get done what you need to get done.

Well, now I'm really eager. My sword is all the way out and I'm ready to charge

and thank God for wiser heads. My sponsor said. No, wait a minute, You also have a number of other things going on right now.

It would be silly for you to just dash in there,

be heroic and go through this. You're, you're visiting your kids now, you've got a job. There's a number of people going to be affected, said. I know the guy. I grew up in Cheyenne.

Let's write him a letter 1st and ask him how he wants you to handle this. You get clean with him

and ask him how he wants you to handle it.

It's a form of prayer, you know. How would you handle have me handle this one? We wrote to him, and I wish I could give you a really high drama rap to the story, but there isn't one because he was dead and the store was closed

and it was over and we talked seriously about

don't I still owe Wyoming something? And I was told by a number of people that I trust, No,

you cheated him, not Wyoming. If he wanted to put you in prison, you would have to go.

But the state can't do anything about it anyway. They can't bring the charges. It's over. Just be done with it. And the importance of it was that I truly was willing to go back into the Wyoming State Penitentiary if that's what it took. And the mercy of it was it was clear that didn't work. God wants me. I had a terrible time when I came out. They told me, my sponsor told me just before I was paroled, he said. I wish they weren't even considering letting you go. You're not ready.

And he was right. So I went back and spent that next week getting ready. I went back through the steps again and got ready. So the one I hit the street, I could say to God, how would you have me handle this one?

I don't know how to live out here,

OK,

But we didn't think I was going to hit the street because I still hold the feds five years. We honestly thought I was going back to Latuna, Texas, to the federal prison down there and finish my my time down there. So I prepared myself to be a good little prisoner and carry God's message into the federal penitentiary. Not too much ego.

Well, apparently he's got guys down there doing that

because they put me back on the street.

But it was hard for me to make the adjustment that day. I was ready to go to the penitentiary.

I was not ready to hit the street,

parole officer said to me. When I reported into him, he said have a job by tomorrow. Back you go.

Goodbye. That's at 11:00.

Just a little after 11:30, I had a job.

When people make it really clear to you what you have to do, you just go do it.

But I got the job because I had to walk. The state I was in was interesting. I really wasn't ready. I went to get on a bus

to go out job hunting and it had a sign on the front of the bus that said have exact fare drivers carry. No change.

I could not get on the bus.

I was too afraid that they might ask me to get off because I didn't have the right change and I could not do that.

And of course that turned into a blessing because I went down to another place. Some guy in the jail had given me a slip of paper with a name on it,

daily labor pools, all it was. And you taught me to be completely out front. So I walked in and I said, are you? Jackie said. I'm Don. I'm an alcoholic. And I just got out of the penitentiary and I'm on parole, state and federal parole, and I need work. What you got?

And he said. You're exactly who I've been looking for.

He got all excited. Took me over to a place that doesn't hire ex cons. But that's OK, I'm not an ex-con

and they put me into work on the daily labor pool and somewhere along the way they hired me to work on the dock

and I've been taught to be completely open. God will use whatever is in my life to his advantage. I need hide nothing and on the application

I put the kind of work I've been doing.

I was a drug smuggler. I was a burglar.

What do you got? These are the only skills I've got, man. From 1967 back. This is what I did for a living and it's all on there. And they hired me anyway and I'm working on the dock and working hard. I didn't learn to work. And one day the dispatcher called me in and he's got a funny look on his face and my

application in his hand.

They said, did you really do that?

He's talking about the drug deal where I brought the drugs over from them from old Mexico. I said, yeah, I did that,

he said. I've been thinking about that.

The kind of skills and logistical talent that it takes to move dangerous stuff from one place to another seems to be something you do pretty good.

And I got this little truck that services the print shops in downtown Denver, and I need somebody who can get stuff from here to there in a timely manner.

Like the job

in God's hands,

He uses whatever's at hand. You need to be afraid of nothing.

He'll use it

so that you can be a service to him.

See, I can look you right in the eye and tell you there is absolutely nothing that you can't do with your life if you put it in God's hands.

I work in corrections.

I've got 84 inmates that I have to look in the eye every day and say quit whining. Don't tell me

that you can't ever do anything again because you got a record. I'm a three time loser and I've got the keys to the place.

So get off,

OK.

Yeah. And that's what he wants of us, to be able to do that. For people, particularly Alcoholics, who don't believe that they have a chance, you got to look them in the eye and say, don't give me that. I'm one of them. Listen to me. Here I am

and I don't drink anymore.

That's all we're asked to do.

I believe, and this is just my viewpoint,

the 10th and 11th and 12th step are simply the 1st 9 over and over again.

OK, with some new stuff at it. Now that I'm awake spiritually, what do I do with that?

I know that I'm supposed to grow spiritually by helping other people and through genuine sacrifice.

This weekend is a sacrifice. I used to pretend it was number sacrifice for me. I love it and I do love it. Look at this. I got to fly into New York on your money,

OK? I got attention all weekend whether I wanted it or not.

I got to see something nobody in my town that I know has ever seen. I got to watch him play bocce

man. I'm going home and get some bocce balls. Look like fun,

but there's a sacrifice because there's a whole part of me would rather be home this weekend.

My wife makes a sacrifice every time I come out here.

She loves you more than I do.

See. I need you. I will come out of my own need. She'll need you.

She just loves you.

This weekend was particularly difficult for her and I know it was Friday. She had two medical procedures to go through.

She's the head nurse on an infant research unit at Children's Hospital and she's short staffed. So in addition to those two little procedures, she had little shit they heard. I just went through one of them.

She had to work a night shift and today she's working a day shift and a night shift.

She'd really wish I were there

for all that. But she loves you and knows the importance of what we're going to do.

And that's what sacrifice is. It isn't giving up with this. Oh my,

it's an offering up

of all of me and all of my resources for God use. That's all it is. And offering up,

Yeah. And because we do that, we get some really fun weekends.

We got to go to see the Mask of Zorro together,

and she really enjoyed it,

and so did I, and she came to understand clearly that that's me.

I'm him.

Oh yeah,

so don't be afraid of sacrifice and don't feel noble about it.

By God, lucky to be alive

and in your right mind. If it takes a little sacrifice to pass that on, the benefits are beyond belief.