The 12th step at the Fellowship of the Spirit in Queens, NY

This will be short. I don't think they all go into the bathroom.

This would be short and sweet guys. I mean, talking about a couple of tough acts to follow, huh? I mean, they, they covered it. It's like

unbelievable, Unbelievable. My name's Chris Ramer. I'm a recovered alcoholic, and I'm grateful to be here. I

deadbeat too. We, we went on the, on the, on the downtown junket last night. I, you know, I got, I got to reiterate what they were saying. It's like, I don't know what it is, why it's so important. Everybody mentioned it this morning, why it's so important for us to look cool at all cost. You know, it's like, it's like you just don't want to look stupid, you know, And it's like we're we're sitting there on that subway. You know, we're not going to.

I don't know how many went down there. Fourteen of us, I guess. And we all got off the subway and we're all standing there. We all walk up on the platform, you know, and out out into the on the street and we're all just, you know, catching flies. And he's like, oh, shit, all is his mouth open everywhere as long as the lines like shit, you know, it's like, why would you take LSD? All you got to do is just come to New York City. Enough.

It is a trip. I, I don't know, I don't know, a wonderful trip at that. And I, I like my brother. I, I am absolutely blown away with this area and, and the people in it. And I need to share that. Y'all are, y'all are blessed. Y'all are absolutely blessed. I, I wanted to mention because I was going through some of my stuff last night. I actually, we could have done away with this workshop altogether 'cause I, I stuck this in my notes. It's a it's a little add to solve alcohol problems with the Phoenix method.

One hypnosis and there's a number to call right here. And so basically what I'm going to do from now on, I'm just going to get some copies of this and then my 12 step call, you know,

confidential, rapid, pleasant, no hospitalization, no group meetings, no time off from work, no withdrawal symptoms,

no God, no life. Unbelievable.

See, this is the this is what we're battling here, guys. This is what we're battling. This is a world of ignorance about alcoholism and drug addiction, the world of ignorance about the disease. We got a lot of people making money off our butts. We have a lot of people out there who don't understand, who are not one of us. They can't relate. I mean, you'll need to understand this world of difference. We talked about it this week. There's a world of difference between knowledge and experience. You'll follow us and a lot of people.

Peter was just referring to it. There's a lot of people that have a lot of knowledge about this disease.

Buddies, I'm gonna tell you something. They cannot relate. I've said this from a million podiums. It's like, it's like me trying to, trying to go to a woman and say, honey, I, I, I understand what it's like to be a woman.

You, you follow me. I mean, and I used to pride myself with the fact that I did, you know, I mean, I read a lot and I, we were laughing about it in another group. One time I says, I'm probably the only guy in the 80s that ever subscribed to Cosmopolitan, you know, because, because I wanted to know about women. What the heck, you know, and because if you know more about women, it's all selfish guys, because you're going to get laid more. I mean, that's the ulterior motive.

I knew a lot about women folks, but I got to tell you something absolutely about experience. I don't know nothing about a woman, and I will never know what it's like to be a woman because I'm not a woman. Can y'all get down with that? There's only a few people in this room. I met a couple of them this week. They've got one eye. You can relate to me with a guy with just one eye and the rest of you too. I knuckleheads don't have a clue.

The pain it is to go through life with just one.

It's some shit,

but y'all understand it. Y'all understand the point is what I'm trying to, that's what makes us so valuable as an entity because we have had the experience of, of, of, of wanting to stop and not being able to stop, of needing to stop and not being able to stop. You follow us. And then being able to go share that with somebody else in the same boat is an absolute gift. And that's what this is about. It's the whole 12 step deal. I mean, Myerson and Peter just summed it up so succinctly. I mean, we, we've got our marching orders. We know what to do. It's in this book,

you know, but ten years ago I started working for this hospital and it's been a blessing to get to work there. And I hope I get a chance to stay there longer. I mean,

I am a huge fan of people that, that I'm a huge fan of treatment centers and I'm a huge fan of, of therapists. And I'm, I believe that there's so much stuff out there that can be treated that way. You'll follow us. But alcoholism, the spiritual malady can only be treated by God. And where we got off the page years ago, folks, is that we started listening to a whole bunch of other people out there who also wanted to candy coat this whole message down. And we wanted to take the God piece out.

You, you follow us. It's like, you know, this program couldn't be any more open and roomy about about our

experience with God. It's like the God of your understanding. But but you know, if you're going to take God out of the picture, then we don't have much to talk about. And shame on any of us that are wasting time on anybody that wants to fight this thing about God. Makes sense. I mean, the questions in the book that we're supposed to ask are pretty succinct, pretty simple stuff, you know, are you willing second step? They didn't put the second this, this, this consideration about God on step 12. They put this consideration right at the very beginning. Are you willing to believe that there's a power out there greater than you? Big shot.

Well, yeah, then we got something to work with. And if the answer is no, we have absolutely nothing to work with. Because I got to tell you something, folks, about this little piece of this lecture with me. I just got to tell you, we got to stop chasing drunks down. We got to stop thinking that We got to we got to reform the world and make them think the way we we're, we're we're thinking because it's it's not necessary. If you're ready to do this work, we got a solution for you. If you're not,

bop to you drop. Have a nice life.

I was on a 12 step call a couple of weeks ago and these parents had called me for for weeks. Chris, come see this guy. Come see this guy says Buddy. It's a waste of time because I've talked to him before. What they want me to do is talk this kid into getting sober. You, you follow us. And I walked in the first question out of my mouth. I got my little big book. I'm ready to go. I said as little buddy do, do you want to stop drinking? No,

see ya.

I got my book, got up left and she's and she's in there fixing iced tea. She thinks we're going to be the long haul. But Chris come back. I says thanks for the iced tea. I appreciate that, but I'm done here because because I'm not going to sit and waste my time trying to

convince somebody to get on this spiritual path. You're not going to stop until you're done.

Can y'all get down with that? You think you got it in you to continue to do this deal? Just just just go. Because here's what we're doing. We're doing it with a lot of the young adults and we're doing it with a lot of folks. We're getting in the middle and we're pushing this too damn hard. And what we're doing is we're ruining our chances down the line to be able to help them because we won't stay out of their freaking face. If they don't want to be approached, if they don't want to visit about this, if they're not ready, then we need to back off.

Is is that a risky business? Yes. Could they die? Absolutely,

Absolutely.

But to continue to push when they're not ready just ruins our opportunity to help them ever. I don't want those. Those AA guys are just a bunch of fanatics. I hear it all the time. I've got a hospital full of people coming into the, into our place of, of, of business who, who need to get sober. But they see the steps on the wall and you can see their face fall because oh shit, I've tried this AA stuff.

I've had that stuff rammed down my throat for years. You follow me. We need to stop as a fellowship, ramming this down people's throat. If you want it, great. And then if they say they want it, let's make sure we're giving them the right message. Can y'all get down with that? Because that's exactly what we're here about. Couple of things real quick, you, you,

you know, we, we referred to it yesterday and on Friday we talked about this business and I want to make sure we get real clear about this. You know,

when every 12 stepped Bill Wilson

very short period of time sober. He got on a bus and he went and tried to find Bill Wilson the stories in the book and and he gets this down with a guy and the first thing they do is they sit down at this table and Bill sitting there drinking and Evie's talking to him. And first thing they do is they start telling some quote war stories. They're starting. They start commiserating and visiting about their drinking days. You with me And then Ebby, I've done this 1000 times. Evie says every says, hey, buddy, he gets to a place where the war stories are coming to a stop and Bill says, well, what do I got to do? And then he and then Ebby sets the hook. He says.

He says I, I got religion, you follow me. He immediately starts to talk about God.

What did Bill Wilson do? Six months later, he's sober. He's in there in Akron with Doctor Bob. They talked to Doctor Bob, it says. They shared a few stories. They got him comfortable. They started visiting a little bit. And then what did? What did? What did Bill Wilson do? He tells him about God. He sets the hook

you with us, They go do Bill DA couple of weeks later they go do Bill D and and alcoholic #3 they do the same thing. They get his confidence. They find out if he wants to get sober. They qualify the cat and then they they start talking about God, the spiritual solution. It's like, it's like we got these guys coming to us. They're in our meetings now. Listen, guys, I mean, we, we got them in the boat.

You know that it's like a big fish flopping around on the bottom of the boat, and we want to talk to him about everything else under the sun except

God.

We're not jamming this down anybody's throat. They're saying, what can I do to get well? Hey, it's a thing called a spiritual experience,

but we don't want to talk about it because we're to it just exactly what Peter said. We're tippy toeing around water and the message down because we don't want to scare them off. And the sad part is we what if we do that long enough? They're going to go out and drink anyway. And then then who's going to take the blame? I mean, at some point, Jesus guys, we're going to start taking some responsibility, I think, for the messages that we're carrying in the meetings. We're so damn concerned about some old timer back up. I'm an alcoholic anonymous in 1987. I've been around a A for seven years in and out, can't get sober. And in 1987 I

get hooked up with a bunch of big book thumpers. And there's one old guy in there, though, and I'm talking to some newcomers in a meeting and the old timer comes up, says Chris. You know, you don't want to talk about too much about God with these newcomers. You know you're scaring them off.

Oh, let me see if I can get this my mind around this one Here. You're you're telling me that the one thing is going to save my ass is God, but now you're telling me not to tell that to the newcomer. Now this is a little confusing for me to understand. Can y'all can y'all get down? What what do we do it? We're walking on egg shells around everything. There's a couple of things that we got to have in order to get sober Folks in the big book spend some pages talking about it. It's called we need a little discipline. You follow us. The book talks about we use the steps to discipline because we were an undisciplined lot. That was

me. I'm gonna we need to discipline ourselves a bit to do certain things. The spiritual principles we were talking about this weekend and the prayer and meditation buddies, that takes discipline. You'll understand it. The other thing is responsibility.

They got the sign on all the walls. Whenever the hand of AA reaches out, you know, whenever the guy drunk reaches out, the hand of A ought to be here. I'm responsible for that.

You think the hand of AA is just a pot of coffee and a warm smile and a hug? You think that's it

Because that's where we've gotten off the page. The hand of a A. Is this the message

5th tradition 1 responsibility to stay sober and carry the message to the alcoholic who still suffers. That's our responsibility. Makes sense. And you know, the problem is we got a bunch of people in the fellowship that just flat don't want to accept their their place in the trench with us. The book says we stand shoulder to shoulder carrying the message of hope to the newcomer. And we got a lot of people in our fellowships that don't want to do that.

Why am I saying this? Yeah, I'm preaching to the choir. Y'all want to do it? Most of y'all in this room are lathered up little bumpers. Y'all are out there kicking butt, taking names. The reason I want to mention this is this. Everywhere I go speak, I I I land in rooms like this. I got to tell you, usually not as not as large a room as this with as many people on the page as we are. Because what Meyer said is so true. We speak at so many places. They they get us to speak. We're like hired hench men. You know, Chris, I want you to I want you to come to this meeting and I want you to

these bastards out there middle of the road.

It's like, it's like, it's like you're setting us up for an ass whipping when you do that, you know

you couldn't straighten them out, so now you want us to come. But what's the truth? The truth is because you haven't got the balls to say what needs to be said. Isn't that the truth? Yeah. Thank you.

Come on folks. See, sometimes when you share the message and then we share this stuff on the podium passionately, we're like, and then you walk into a meeting

and try to do the same thing in an AAA meeting. And I and I think we don't make this diff, this difference to you, this differentiation. We need to make this. Do you think for a second that we're suggesting that all of you guys walk into a meeting and, and start jamming this book an inch at a time up somebody's butt?

It's like, folks, there's a, there's a, there's a place. It's like what we're talking about the war stories. Is the is there a place for a war story? Yes, it's called a 12 step call. Is there, do you need to do that in a discussion meeting? Absolutely not. It's like is, is there's a place for everything.

There's a place for the passion. We're in a podium. We're talking to a room full of people. We're excited about recovery. You go into a meeting, folks, there's different ways to carry the message. Peter is referring to it. The message can be carried 1000 different ways. All we're saying is please carry the message in your own way.

I mean, I've said this from a million podiums. God Dang, guys, the last thing you ever want to do is listen to one of my CD's and then go into an open discussion meeting.

Guys, it's we talk. It's called leading with the chin, you know, in his life,

because you walk into the meetings and you're all lathered up and you're never and some of the ladies back over in the corner and she's in a bad spot, you know, and and the first thing you and she starts talking, gets off the subject and you want the and you eat her ass. You know, you just you know, you're all over and it's like, guys, we're not accomplishing anything when we do that. You know, I don't see the book talks about what code of love and tolerance and I can't believe I know y'all are saying Chris Ramers talking about love and tolerance from the podium,

love and tolerance. But you see, we don't want to take it too far. I've said it before, there was a lady in Box 459 that wrote this one time. It's one of my favorite quotes out of that little publication that New York puts out. She says that what point does love intolerance become apathy?

I mean, love and tolerance can be disguised as apathy. It's like you're talking and you're making an ass of yourself and you're off the page and you're really confusing some people, but everybody's just going to shut up and smile. Being loving and tolerant instead of correcting it. You, you, you with us. We don't understand how powerful the human word is.

I don't sit on the sidelines and let a meeting go down the shitter, folks.

I don't sit on the sidelines and let somebody monopolize and me, I mean, we go in, let's just talk for a second 12 step stuff about meeting etiquette. We've got a bunch of newcomers sitting in a meeting. It's an hour long meeting. It's an open discussion and we're going to let some some idiot talk for 40 minutes.

Well, he just needed a place to share.

No, no.

Was the, was the was the problem? Let me ask you a question because I've done this. That was the problem, the long winded speaker.

The problem was not the long winded speaker. The meeting format was the problem. The meeting format allowed this guy to do that. Can y'all get down with that? I mean, a lot of you guys are talking about starting new, new meetings and you and you want to go out there and you want to carry the message of hope to as many people as possible, but you're going back into meetings whose formats are etched in stone. You follow it that allow people to whine about their problems. Hell, I've been in 1000 meetings where they were in the format itself. It says if you've got a problem and you need to talk about, come on in and talk about it

and they're doing that and then you're getting pissed at them. Yes. So we gotta do got two choices folks. As I see it is we can go into those meetings at group constances and try to change those meetings and try to change the formats to not allow that shit to try to focus more back in on the topic on the solution. You follow us or like our friends in in the PA are going to do and like some of y'all I've talked to this week, you go out and start your own literature based meeting. You see the traditions tell us what to talk about. They also say

we can set up a meeting any way we want to. It doesn't have to be just like the meeting down the street. You can set it up any way you want.

Makes sense? That's what we need to do.

See, we teach the newcomer how to behave.

Everybody wants to take shots at treatment centers. Well, the treatment centers almost killed A A they did.

And you know who allowed it? Who stood by, stood on the sidelines and watched it happen?

A. A Because nobody wanted to take a stand.

Nobody wanted to stand for anything.

When somebody wants to go off on left field and talk about their psycho Babble bullshit, we all just sit there and roll our eyes and go get another cup of coffee and just let them share instead of shutting them down in a heartbeat. Guys, I've said it, I'll say it. I'm going to make it quick as I can. Alcoholics Anonymous is not therapy.

Alcoholics Anonymous is not therapy.

Alcoholics Anonymous is

not

therapy. If you're using a as a dumping ground for your problems,

quit and quit now.

And if that offends you,

no, I'm sorry. And I'm not trying to be abrasive with anybody. I'm in character defects. I'm trying to be a little gentler. I'm just telling you, we got to get, we got to get back to the basics. Because here, here's what's happening. The newcomer, just like Peter was talking about, is coming into the meeting and he's scared to death and he's freaked out. And he, he knows instinctively that we have the answer 'cause he can see the light in our eyes. He can see the, the people, the changes in US and he wants what we have. But he comes into the room and he gets confused because all we seem to be doing is talking about the individual problems. So he wants to participate.

So what does he do? He starts talking about his individual problems and before you know it, we got a bunch of people talking about our problems and nobody getting well,

folks talking about problems. It's not going to fix. What's wrong with me, is it? Is it necessary to talk about those problems? I've said it a million times, of course it's necessary. Let's do it. Find a good therapist, get some friends. Guys, the big line, let's go to Denny's for Christ sake. You know, let's, let's sit there and let's talk until the cows come. Stay up all night and talk about these issues. But guys, in a meeting, we just got a short period of time. Let's share some hope with a newcomer so that they'll come back next time.

Because we are, we are ruining our chances with the newcomer. We may have one shot with them. We're going to ruin it by talking about your up day. We got to stop that business. And why do we do it? Because somebody taught us that it was OK to do it and now we teach the guys we sponsor. At what point are we going to draw the line and say it's not OK? It is not OK to talk about your problems in a meeting. It is not OK to talk about your problems in a meeting.

Come before the meeting. Stay late after the meeting.

Jesus, guys, all of us have got problems. I just I just listen to some of you guys hurt so bad this weekend. You're in a bad spot and you're scared and you got you got stuff going and I'm down with you. Let's try to get you some help. We let's let's, let's try to help you with those things, but let's keep our focus in the meeting for what we were supposed to be there for talking about the power of God,

please. Amen.

In 1987, when I got back to the Fellowship, I landed in a room full of people that understood that and what they shared with me was a lot of, lot of hope.

10th step that Hector was talking about. One of the lines in there says that we've see spotting anything in anyone, and that includes AA. You'll follow us. We just, we just shouldn't have to do it.

My sponsor says we don't have to defend the big book.

What we need to do is just come armed with the facts about ourselves, share in a general way what it was like in our lives. Look for a newcomer to work with snagging and let's go to town. Let's see if we can help him get connected.

Everyone of you big book thumpers that set in these rooms for years and have taken the heat, I'm going to say this with absolute reverence. I love and respect every single one of you for every one of you guys that that that that took a sideways comment from some middle of Rd. son of a bitch in a meeting. You follow us.

Thank you for everyone of you that we're talking about God's power and took a sideways comment from the next person. Well, let's not try to get too spiritual in here.

And you and you and you stood your ground and took it. Thank you. Thank you for keeping the message clear and succinct.

Real quick, we got too many people sitting in meetings with this idea. I've said it a million times when I was trying to get sober in the early 80s. How how how can I

selfish and self centeredness is the root of my problems and I'll sit there in a meeting and how I know I need to do 12 step work but how can I help them? I I can't even help myself

if they ever heard me from. It's like, yeah, you're right. You're getting closer to the truth. And you know, buddy, you know, see guys in 87, they explained to me, Chris, you're right. You can't help yourself. You got a disease that's going to kill you. You're going to need God's intervention there. And you got all these problems piling up on you. And the book says if you'll just do certain things, you'll get some power in your life, and that power will show you how to deal with those issues.

So you're absolutely correct. Your job is that we talked about it on Friday. Your job is not to make the flower grow. Your job is just to plow the stupid field. Nobody asks you to make it grow

you with us. Nobody asked you to make it rain. They just said can you plow the field? Make sense and see? But we don't want to do that. I want to, I want to take care of everything, get it all figured out. And then I'll we're not asking you to do that. We're asking you to suit up and show up. Come armed with the facts about yourself, get some literature and try to share your hope with a newcomer. Can you do that? Guess what happens while God's doing that while while God's over here, you know, you're over here. We're working with a newcomer, you know, just trying to carry the message. God's steady over here trying to take care of your stuff

because I don't know about you. Let me

show of hands in here how many have experienced this miracle while I'm over here working with this. All of a sudden that chicken shit problem that was driving me crazy was being taken care of back over here and I never had to touch a hand to it. My financial shit took care of themselves. My health stuff took care of itself. You'll understand that relationship stuff started taking care of itself. I just did what what they finally asked me to do. The old timers had such a tough time with me because I was so in in. I just want to sit, sit in a meeting and listen to you and leave.

I don't want to give back

you with us, old timer one time, he said. Chris, you've been a taker all your life. When are you going to start giving?

First thing they ever asked me. Some of y'all heard me talk about this on tape. Not the cough. This

first thing they asked me to do. I was, I was two days sober in North Texas, sitting in this room. And it was a little small room as a little entryway into this clubhouse. And there was a telephone in there. And what they asked me to do is they said, Chris, we want you to help us out here. Would you answer the phone if it rings? No. OK, so and this is no, no, no, no, no. Let's let's rephrase this a little bit. Chris. We got to go back and do this meeting. And we understand you've been around the fellowship a long time, blah, blah, blah. But we need you to help us answer the telephone.

Would. OK.

No. What part of no didn't you understand? I mean, I'm still detoxing and you're asking me to answer the phone.

I want to go in the meeting with you guys.

The problem is you can't get sober because you won't give back to the fellowship. You know we talk about 12 step is carrying the message. I understand that. But our service manual makes it perfectly clear. Anything that helps carry the message to the newcomer, you'll understand that. The cats that busted their ass all weekend long making coffee. You with us? Were we blessed by that?

Is is that a part of this program? Absolutely. Is is carrying the message? Yes, of course it is. But it's everything that involves it. Everything that allows it to happen is cleaning the toilets in the bathroom and a a club or, or or or or mopping the floor or doing anything of service. Is that part of helping? So the place looks nice when the newcomer comes in? Of course it is,

Chris. Listen, answer the phone and it got down the brass tax. Why? Didn't want to do it? I don't know how. What do I say? What do I do

guys? The phone rings instantly and they all sitting around like this. There's three of them in there, they're all sitting like this and they all cross their arms like this and the phones ringing and I'm looking at them and they're looking at me. Just none pulse, just

looking down over his glasses.

You, What do I say? Just answer the phone. Say hey, it's Lewisville Group AA,

pick up the phone, you know

Lewisville Group.

She starts talking. It's a lady on the phone. She starts talking a little bit. She's looking for an Al Anon meeting. She's not even a drunk for Christ sake. She's looking for an Al Anon meeting.

I said she needs a meeting as Al Anon. She needs to meet. There's a then they showed me that guys, they didn't just let me alone. They stood right there and helped me do this. It's like chairing the meetings. You can't cheer a meeting for the first two years until you're so I understand the reasoning behind it because it's a it's a position of responsibility. Why don't you sit on get an old timer to sit down with you about the second week you're in the fellowship and start chairing meetings and you'll stay in this fellowship. Can you all get down with what I'm saying This, this idea you got to find a job and they picked one for me. Answer the phone,

they said, Chris, the meeting scheduled right here. I don't know, meeting right here. Check it out right here Get on the phone. Yes, Yep, absolutely. We got one at 7:30 Alan on me and I'm talking to this lady and I realize I know this lady. I drink with her husband.

He had a house, he had a true story. He had a house right behind a BBQ restaurant that I own there in Texas. And so we used to drink over the fence together and. And

that's real camaraderie stuff, you know, pee in the dark. Yeah. OK,

and this lady says, oh, I cannot believe I got you on the phone. It's a miracle. I said, I'm so nervous about doing this, but I've got to go to a meeting. I'm going crazy here. I said, buddy, I don't have anything else to do right now. I'll wait for you out front. You know what I look like or the patch. You can't miss me and in anything. So I says come, come. And I and I waited for her and she got you'll follow me. Shit, guys. I mean, I hung up the phone and the world didn't didn't shift and all this it's just you know, but but all of a sudden what happened? You know, I mean, I've done this 1000 times. I said, you know,

I got I got this one.

Our archive literature is full of stories like this. All of a sudden I started standing a little taller. You know, there's hey, buddy, that's a what are you putting your butt out on the floor? Put put it back in the trash can where it goes. You know, all of a sudden, you know, this is not your club. Thank you for having me. It's our club. It's my club. Thanks for coming. You'll understand because I started participating. We left. They didn't know what they did. You know, I mean, they created a monster. You

I was there five years and you were lucky if you ever got near that telephone, you know, because that

the phone ringing, I'd beat you to it. Oh, she thoughts, buddy, this is very important stuff here. You could you could kill somebody if you don't answer this phone ride.

Ohh, shit.

But see, once, once you find your place in this fellowship and realize that you have a seat here, that you have a reason for being here, it's everything shifts. Everything shifts. You're not monitoring these places anymore. Now you're a part of these places. I'm an active member of Alcoholics Anonymous. I got a Home group, I got a sponsor, and I sponsor a bunch of men in this fellowship. Thanks absolutely for allowing me to do that. I mean, that's the absolute coolest.

Let me read something to you and I'll let you go. You all have been great. This has been floated around forever folks, and

I don't know how long it's been around it.

Somebody sent it to me. It's, I don't know, some of y'all have read it I'm sure and I'll try to get through it without crying.

Texans don't cry.

It's called a drunk fell in a hole.

It's the best.

It's real short. A drunk fell in a hole and couldn't get out.

A businessman went by. The drunk called out for help. The businessman threw him some money and told him to get himself a ladder. But the drunk could not find a ladder in the hole he was in.

A doctor walked by. The drunk said help, I can't get out. The doctor gave him some drugs and said take this, it'll relieve the pain. The drunk said thanks, but when the pills ran out he he was still in the hole.

A renowned psychiatrist rode by heard the drunk crime for help. He stopped and said how did you get there?

Were you born there?

Here's my favorite line where you put there by your parents.

Tell me about yourself. It will alleviate your sense of loneliness. So the drunk talked with him for an hour. Then the psychiatrist had to leave, but he said he'd be back next week.

The drunk thanked him but he was still in his hole. A priest came by and the drunk called for help. The priest gave him a Bible and said I'll pray for you. He got down on his knees and prayed for the drunk been left. The drunk was very grateful. He read the Bible,

but he was still in the hole.

A recovering alcoholic happened to be passing by, and the drunk cried out. He helped me. I'm stuck in this hole right away. The recovered alcoholic jumped in the hole with him. The drunk said, What are you doing now? We're both stuck in the hole,

but the recovered alcoholic said it's OK. I've been there before, I know the way out.

Why does that affect me?

Why every time I read it? Does it affect me that way?

All I ever wanted to do all my life was be useful to somebody.

You know, my prayers as a kid was I didn't want to grow up and own a big car and have a lot of money. I just wanted to be okay in my own skin and know that I could help somebody else. That was that was my my prayer. I remember verbally praying that at 14

and an adulthood later,

a bunch of men and women, young people, old people, gay people, straight people, black people, white people,

showed me how I could be helpful.

And for one brief moment, I got my arrogance out of the way long enough to say, OK, I'll give it a shot.

And I've walked

this path, is bumbling as I could for the last 15 years and have been able to affect a few people along the way

by just staying sober

and reaching out and showing somebody

that I'd been there before and I knew the way out.

That's why everyone in this room is so valuable to us.

Each and everyone of you've got talents that nobody else in this room's got. Some of you guys are great with a computer and you're sending this information that we desperately need constantly. My friend Bill and bunch of you in this room have done that. The cats from Iceland, you know, they're all over the tapers. You know, they're, they're getting this stuff out. I mean, how many millions of people are going to be affected because some people got together and put this stuff out on the Airways? You follow us, you cats that are organized and you're keeping the books in your groups and taking care of the money. This is exactly what it's about.

We need every single person in this room in the trenches with us.

See, knowing God's will is not the same as doing God's will. A lot of you in this room know what God's will is. You instinctively know what you're supposed to be doing, but you're not doing it.

And that's why you're bored and that's why you're depressed. And that's why that's why you don't feel a part of.

Find your job in this fellowship. Volunteer, get to the jitter joints, do the talks, participate any way you can, but please participate.

I've been absolutely blessed. I guarantee you I can speak from the rest of the guys. Sometimes, you know, we go to these conferences and we just leave exhausted because, because it's just been a battle from from arguing back and forth with this spiritual message of hope. And I'm going to tell you something, folks, I've experienced this one other time. I've experienced it here in, in at fellowship of the spirit. Every time I've ever been here. I'd experienced it one other time and that was when I went to Iceland with the guys.

Y'all are all blessed to be a part of such a tremendous fellowship. Everybody on the same page, y'all stick with us. When I say I want you to e-mail, I want you to e-mail. When I say I want you to stay in touch, just stay in touch. And if I don't see you before next year, I guarantee you I'll see you here next year. Thanks guys.