Fellowship of the spirit conference at St. John's University in New York, NY

Good evening, everybody. My name is Mark Houston. I'm an alcoholic
and uh,
a power that I was asleep to separate me from alcohol the morning of October 19th of 1982. And it is that power that has kept me separated from alcohol since 1982, in spite of myself.
So
good to be here. New York's beginning to feel like a third or second home or something. I find that to be interesting. We were talking last night. I got to tell you, you know, Yeah. Perceptions, You know, everyone in the room from birth to this moment, you feel you. You form perceptions. And then you form ideas and then you formulate belief systems, and they dictate your life. And I was born and raised in Iowa, in the Midwest. And
for prior to ever come to New York City
had formulated some belief systems about you all
and I discovered about 90% of them were not true
riding in traffic. Today, 10% are,
although there was another little fun incident. By the way, Joe, Joe and I have a bodyguard here with us tonight. We're not naive anymore
and any rate I had gone up to Bally's about 10:00 in the morning. I've done prayer and meditation and
I was running on a treadmill and then there's a plate glass in the sidewalk and all of a sudden over about a 10 or 15 minute period I got to watch some extreme violence between 2 human beings right in front of me as I'm on this treadmill talking to this girl. And I mean right in front of me like this is big plate glass and I real, real little Hispanic, very, very large African American. I first thing I realized is Hispanic guys either on crack or just real dumb
because there's a there's about 100 lbs difference in the African American. It was obviously a bodybuilder. He wasn't didn't have an overweight problem and
and then you watch this thing and they were like two bees squatting the night. After a while, I could tell Hispanic I was praying to God he wished he had a gun. And,
and I'm, I'm just running. I'm, I'm just, I'm saying God, this is just amazing, this world I live in. And so anyhow, finally, at some point in time, the Hispanic guy realized his life is probably in danger and he took off running. And of course, the only problem was he drove a security truck which happened to be parked right there.
So the other gentleman waited for about 10 minutes and I'm still running. I'm just watching and he's prowling around the thing, you know. And I, of course what I'm doing is seeing a lot of myself there, you know what I mean, In living color in front of me. And then finally he, he laughed. He didn't even come in and work out. I guess he got one there and
and then I I thought, OK, that's interesting. So then I get in my car and
I'm getting ready to pull out in I had my cell phone and I didn't realize that you all have had a change in laws up here. And
I happen to be on my cell phone without the little microphone. And I apparently did not turn fast enough for a gentleman behind me. And so the next thing I knew, I had a guy on the left with the window down hollered in obscenities I haven't even heard before at me.
And so the guy I'm talking to, I, Cassie said to him, excuse me, but do you now have a law in New York about talking in cell phones? And I, I won't even go into what was being said to me. And it was obvious he was going to stay paced by pace with me until I really got his point.
And he said, yeah, Mark, it is against law. So so I go in and I turn around, I just smile, You know, I said, I think I'm going to go back to house and meditate. So anyhow, I've had, I've had some fun here, but
to say the least, I one thing Joe and I were talking about that I do love about people I've met on the East Coast is, is that you're real to the extent to which you are real. Joe and I go a lot of places and people come up all the time and know I'm glad you hear and then turn around, assassinate our character. And here you're, you're just real clear. I, you know, you'll come up and say, you know, I just really don't care for you. I want you to know that,
you know, you just really pissed me off big time last time. And thank you very much.
And, you know, it's just, see, I can work with that. You know what I mean? See, Joe and I were talking about that, you know, sometimes a guy would come up and hug or shake your hand and he'll leave and you feel like you got slime all over and you can't figure. And he'll say, oh, it's so great to, you know, And he leaves. And it's like, why do I feel so weird, you know? Well, it's because he's lying to you, right? That kind of a thing. So I appreciate that. So stay real with us all weekend. I don't think that'll be a problem for many of you, but
there's a quote I want to read.
I'll share with you some writers and authors and spiritual men and women who've influenced some of my life. But
like to read this, it's a little bit about I think why I'm here. It says all I can do for you is challenge your beliefs and the belief system that make you unhappy. All I can do is help you unlearn. That's what the learning is all about where spirituality is concerned. Unlearning, Unlearning almost everything that you have been taught.
A willingness to unlearn, to listen. And that's from a book called Awareness by a man named Anthony Demello.
And I suspect that
Joe and I would hope that some of that will happen for you this weekend.
I would like to to say a prayer. It's a practice that I've been working with for
for a little while. And I think the prayer itself will will speak to you about what the practice is. And then in our own way, each of us can fight the the God of our understanding, the God of our experience in into the room here to open up our minds and hearts for what might take place here. This this weekend is we're joined together as a spiritual body. So if you'll, if you'll join me in, in a prayer, I'd like to say
our Creator, we thank you for bringing us together in fellowship and in love this weekend. And
please give us awareness that that this breath that we're taking at this very moment is a breath we have no experience with. And please make us aware that from this moment on to the rest of this weekend that we have never, ever had the experience that lies before us. Keep our eyes and our ears and our hearts open to the wonder and the newness and freshness. And if we're here with people we know,
help us to realize and understand our Creator that
within the next breath, and anything from that breath as we experience them, it is all new. Let us go through this weekend with open minds and open hearts and be of service and love to each other. Amen.
A couple other things in,
then I'll turn this over to Joe. It's good to be sitting up here with Joe Joe again. Joe is my oldest living friend, sober living friend.
Joe's been sober a lot longer than me and somewhere around 60 days I think in.
I was in treatment, getting detoxed in 1982 when I first met Joe, and we were talking about that on the plane.
You know, if you'll stay open to an experience with this power,
whatever you want to call the power, some things can happen that you just be on your wildest, wildest dreams that you could ever come up with. And he and I sitting here almost 20 years later is certainly a an example of, you know, of that experience getting sober in Denver, Co and series of events and living in a lot of places and towns and those kinds of things. And
he and I really, this is the first thing we've got a chance to do together really in almost five years. And I told him I I was excited about doing this with him. He said, why? And I said, well, you haven't talked for five years. And I said, so you got a lot of stuff. And I said, I've been doing probably a little bit too much and I don't have much. So I said, it's going to be a good mix. You're just going to be on the tape a lot more than me. So
I'm looking forward to this weekend.
We'll turn this over to Joe and then
I, I do have an intent for this weekend and I'm going to share with you all when he's done. And then I had to laugh. Someone said to me, well, how do you and Joe prepare for, for something like this? And I said, oh, in my case, I drank alcohol for 20 years, came into a A and
that's how I prepare. So we're here to share our experience with you all out of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and our experiences with
spiritual living and our defects and our shortcomings and probably a whole bunch of other things. So that being said, let you listen to my dear friend Joe.
Hi, I'm Joe. I'm an alcoholic.
It's good to be here
for me. I have a strong connection with the East Coast. Actually, I I grew up in Battle Creek, MI, which is halfway between Detroit and Chicago. And that was kind of what I was like. I was, I was a white guy who lived halfway between Detroit and Chicago who wanted to be black.
I really did because I didn't feel right in my family. I wanted to be anything other than when I than what I was. I met
a Mexican woman when I was 17, she was 34. And then I wanted to be a Mexican.
She was the first woman my mother ever caught me in bed with. And my I lived in the basement in my parents home and she came, my mother came down one morning and there's a I'm 17 and there's a 34 year old Mexican woman in bed with me and three Mexican children on the sofa. And that was five years after they didn't know what to do with me
because at age 12, I had a spiritual, I had a spiritual awakening, and they thought I was fucked up.
And I thought, and I felt whole the first time everyone else thought I was fucked up. I started to feel whole when I look weird to the rest of the world. And when I felt weird, they just thought I was kind of a quiet kid. And there's not a big difference between my first spiritual awakening
the the awakening that I had when were alcohol worked the first time and the spiritual awakening I had when alcohol didn't work the last time.
And a lot of you can look at those two times and I'm sure everyone in this room had an awakening. It doesn't mean the first time you drank,
but I think they can that for me they were really similar. One felt really good and it connected me to something I had never been connected to and that was when the the first time alcohol worked. And the last one felt really bad but it connected me to something I had never been connected to. The only thing that alcohol and drugs ever blocked me from.
I've always thought it's interesting that alcohol and drugs treat alcoholism and drug addiction. I hope there's nobody here in this room with a drinking problem.
And I don't mean drinking today. I hope there's somebody in the room that drank today or yesterday. But I hope there's nobody in this room with a drinking problem because a A is not for people with drinking problems,
because people with drinking problems stop drinking and that's their problem and they get better when the problems out of the way. I hope this room is filled with people who when they quit drinking, they got somehow worse and worse and worse inside. Because I understand you. I know you. I met a guy last night. We knew we, we knew each other the first time we looked at each other. I knew him. First time I met Sydney, I knew him. First time I met Larry, I knew him. I told him last night in West Orange. I see this as, and this will date some of you and I can bring it up
for you younger people, but I see this as Appalachia
when the five heads of the five families came together in Appalachia. And
but that was that was about causing harm and crime and corruption and disunity. And I hope the five heads of the five families that have come together from Harlem and Staten Island and Queens, and hopefully there's some people from Manhattan
and wherever the other, the 5th head of the family is from,
Mike Lawrence, would have to be mentioned in there somewhere as the obsessive compulsive 5th head of the family. And,
and I hope we come together to to promote some unity in this area among people that are interested in doing what's in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Because there's no reason for any friction between anybody in this room or anybody in the groups that you go to. Because if you're getting closer to God, you should not be moving further away from people. Thomas Merton spent many, many years, what a lot of people thought was
a moving away from the world.
And he said the more he was silent and in retreat, the closer he got to people. And people from all over the world just started to come and see him. I've been five years in India and some people thought I was living in a cave or something. Shit, I was living in a guest house with cable TV, hunting, running water and a telephone. And, you know, a couple people even called me, you know,
and I was having a ball, you know, because I hit bottomless stuff in a a that you all told me that I should have kept doing.
I've had many bottoms in AA. I've been at agnostic and on a regular basis. And a, a lot of people think they read the chapter to the agnostics once some people skimmed right over it because they thought they were big time believers. But I, I saw I was an agnostic the first time I read the chapter. And I saw that I have some current agnosticism the last time I read the chapter with this guy right here after asking him to, to help me with this work starting in March. And I'm glad that's a person that knows I wasn't coming to him. I was
coming to what he's found also that we joined together in. That's why we call this the fellowship of the spirit rather than just let's come together in the spirit of the fellowship. A lot of people in this room know the big book talks about two fellowships, one at the beginning of the work that all of us have experienced. And then you started to hate it. And then you started to hate it and you couldn't stand it because you were in a condition that's the most miserable condition for an alcoholic to ever be in. And that is sobriety.
I hate sobriety in that condition. But then you found somebody who was involved in the in the Fellowship of the Spirit. And it didn't matter what color they were, how they looked, how it didn't even really matter some of the stuff they were doing in their life because they had been changed. And it scared me when I met Don Pritz and it scared me because I thought he had changed himself. And I'd been trying to change myself for many, many, many years. And when I hit bottom with the second-half
step one, I'm going to mention this term many times and we can come back to it in different ways. And I just heard it the other night from from a friend in Dallas who got sober in our group in Santa Monica. And she said, what happens to a lot of us, whether you're talking backwards through the steps, so you're even, you're either moving backwards through the steps tonight or you're moving forward through the steps. And I can show you how that's worked for me. But she said no matter what direction you're moving in the steps, you can get stuck on the dash.
You know that dash between the first half of step one and the second-half of step one. And we used to be really clear with the guy as we were working with that. There's the first half of step one and the second-half of step one. And we made a big mistake because we disconnected the second-half of step one for people and they started doing the work based on the unmanageability they got halfway through the 9th step, their life changed. They had a spiritual awakening as a result of one through 9 1/2 told people they went through the steps,
right. I've been through the steps. They still got unfinished amends. You haven't been through the steps.
They got stuck on the dash because the unmentionability got better and those unfinished amends didn't have nothing to do with the first half of step one anymore.
And I've gotten stuck on the dash before.
I kind of, I think if Mark and he said that we've made a commitment to be genuine with genuine people, 'cause this, I'll tell you, this ain't, no, this ain't like the Los Angeles. There's only a couple places in Los Angeles that I can feel the energy that I feel right now right here in this room. And that's among people that are doing what's in the book. We're all basically the same all over the country. You know, one part of the program doesn't work for us.
We're sicker than most. We need the whole thing. We're not better or special or different. We're just a little sicker than those that get well on the fellowship. You know,
just not drinking and going to meetings didn't treat what the people in this room suffer from or you'd just be not drinking and you'd be going to meetings. You wouldn't be here tonight. That's an interesting thing too. But there's a couple places I feel the energy like I feel in this room. But and one of those places is South Central LA and a group called the Truth of Light in the way
and that energy was in the room last night. And when I start to feel that energy, it frees me up and I can just go haywire and say any old thing because I get free Mark and I maybe less than a lot of people that you've heard that go around or that Glenn knows or that Mike knows or that a lot of you know, we didn't have as much of an attachment to being popular because we kept doing the work. But
I can tell you, as far as this weekend is concerned, with Mark and I,
we are no longer interested in being popular. We're interested in Alcoholics living or dying, whether you live or die, because Alcoholics are dying. Mark can tell you about the number of people he's buried in the last several years. And I can tell you the number of people that are dying of alcoholism in the countries that I've been in the last five years.
So if you're going to be free to ask if we're going to. And he'll talk about this, too, giving someone or giving a group or giving everyone here this weekend consent.
You kind of got to ask yourself, you kind of got to ask yourself how many people in your life in the program have you given spiritual consent to? Have you given permission to, to ask you anything at any time? How many people do you have in your life in your program that care more about whether you're growing or, or how you might feel about what they might have to say? In our group in Southern California, we don't put it that nicely. We talk about unsigned death packs between members of Alcoholics Anonymous that go like this.
You don't say anything to make me uncomfortable, and I won't say anything to make you uncomfortable. And we're going to frolic off on the road to sobriety, right? Right.
So you got to examine that. And if we're going to give spiritual consent that you all can ask us anything. I've been a member of a group from Santa Monica for 15 years.
There's people in this room that have been to that group. Matthew got sober in that group and other people have been there and Mark's been there. Mark's going to do a retreat for that group in September.
We ask each other questions before, during and after the meeting. And our format is an hour and a half meeting with a 20 minute speaker who picks a topic from the 1st 164 pages, doesn't stand behind anything, sits in a circle with us, picks a line or a word or a phrase, shares for 25 minutes. And then the format says the meetings now open for anybody who would like to share and or questions to anyone from anyone.
And it's a powerful format. So if you're all, if we're going to give you permission to ask us anything at any time, I have a few questions.
I think questions are much more important than answers. Even when you're taking somebody through this, even when you're going through this, these questions, especially in the first three steps, these questions are not meant to be answered. A lot of you want to conclude about God. You don't want to experience God. You want to answer the question right away. These questions are meant to be experienced. And I would like to talk a lot this weekend about the difference between knowledge and experience.
So I got a couple questions just to get a feel for the room
that'll help both of us. How many in the room are in their first year of sobriety for the first time?
First year, first time.
OK, there you go, Chris. How many people raise your hands again in your first year for your first time?
Five or six,
that's a reflection of what new people in the program are being told to do.
You would think it would be vice versa from what we were talking about last night, right
When I was in my first year and I'd hit bottom with that second-half of step one, you better believe I would have been here. I was chasing after Joe and Charlie and Don Pritz and Bob Olsen and anybody I could find. How many are how many in this room? How many in this room are in in this room in their first year for more than the first time?
Yeah, that's a reflection of the same thing we were talking about last night. There's more people in the room for the in their first year. How many how many people in the room in their first year for more than the fifth time in their first year?
How many people in the room with more than with more than a year?
More than five years?
More than 10 years
15?
More than 20.
Two more than 25,
so
that doesn't make any sense to me. The people that really need to be here aren't here
and the people that don't really need to be here or here,
which is why they're here because they're still sober.
I got a couple other questions. How many I was Mark and I go to a thing. Actually, it's the IT was the first Fellowship of the Spirit. It was where And they're just more they were more like just a conference, you know, Friday night speaker, Saturday night speaker, Sunday morning. Speaker I believe there's a few people in the room that were at the first Fellowship of the Spirit, which was outside of Denver. I think I'm guessing, correct me if I'm wrong, 10,
ten years ago, they just had their 10th annual Fellowship of the Spirit in Denver, where most of our lineage, if you're connected to any lineage in this room, most of our lineage come from, some of you might not know Mark and I from, from a hole in the ground, but we're not in a hole in the ground.
That's why we're here. So I should tell you about our lineage. Uh,
my sponsor is Don Pritz from Denver, Co. He's 35 years sober. I met him when he was 15 and now I'm 20.
His sponsor is Gary Brown. They have about the same amount of time. Gary might be 36 or 37.
They both got sober and the Denver young people's group in Denver and Gary Brown sponsor is Paul Martin. That's not Father Martin, that's Paul Martin in from Chicago, who is 57 years sober and he was brought in by Doctor Bob and the first member of Alcoholics Anonymous in Chicago, Paul Stanley.
And that's a good lineage. And I only share that to brag
and to tell you that that's the lineage I needed to be exposed to
because anymore of what I had been exposed to in my first meeting would have killed me. I'd been to 10 treatment centers and I hadn't found out the answer to that very important question that some of you are there are still grappling with in your mind tonight. Some of the older members, some of the newer ones, some of the ones that are in their first year for more than the first time. And that question is a very important question that needs to be answered because it can be asked at any point in your sobriety. And that question
is, what's wrong with me?
What's wrong with me? I'm 15 years sober. I've done everything that they've told me to do, and I'm hitting bottom with some new stuff. Or I'm seven years sober. And I tell my sponsees, my proteges, whatever you call em, in New York, in Los Angeles, they have a equally degrading name for them babies, my babies. I tell all my babies that I've been through the steps six times and we're all gonna do it now for the 7th time. And
dear God, one of my babies should ask me if I still have unfinished amends from the first time or the second time. See, I wouldn't tell him I'd been through the steps if I'd never finished four. I wouldn't tell him I'd been through the steps if I'd never finished my fist step. But I'm running around the country telling people I've been through the steps four or five times and I've never finished eight
and I've never finished nine because I didn't become willing to make amends to them all. And you know how I know I didn't become willing to make amends to them all because I haven't made amends to them all. That's when you know you're willing to make amends. That's when our friend says when you know you're willing to make amends, you hear some really strange noises. And I thought the boy was crazy and he was a crip and he was 30 years in a 10 mile area and had never been to the beach. And the beach is 20 minutes away. He'd never left South Central. He got,
he made 350 amends, 100 to family and so and 250 breaking and entering because he was good and he never had gotten caught. He used to make cold calls like those guys that come to your door from the Christian Science ministry. He used to make cold calls on neighborhoods and say, dear God, please show me any homes in this neighborhood that I broke into. And he told me one time when I was grappling, when I was telling my Home group, I was willing to make a certain amends. And he said, no, you're not.
I said, how do you know that? He said, because if you were, you'd be hearing strange noises. And I had no idea what he was talking about. And I said, what kind of a strange noise? And he said like this.
Ding Dong, right? Hello. Right. Those kind of noises. Or the strangest noise to come out of an alcoholic's mouth. I was wrong.
That's number two to the three hardest words for an alcoholic to say. The three hardest are
summit it in the rooms, thinking I love you and anybody that drank knows those are the three easiest words to say for an alcoholic. No, those aren't the three hardest words. The three hardest words are I don't know, right?
And where I was going with that, I have absolutely no idea.
Let me give you
a basic idea for the members of Mike Lawrence's troop that need to know the exact schedule, moment, time, e-mail sent out with directions from Here's one with directions from Baltimore, MD and Philadelphia, PA. No, I'm just teasing. It's good to know we're going to do like 360 minute sessions tonight with a 15 minute break between each one.
We're going to do 3 sessions in the morning starting at 9:00.
We'll go for 60 minutes. We'll take a break. We'll go for 60 minutes. We'll take a break. We'll go for 60 minutes. We'll go to lunch.
We're going to do 2 sessions tomorrow afternoon starting around 2, so you'll have a nice lunch break from 12:30 to 2:00. Saturday evening you got a wild limey lush from Manchester, England that's going to entertain you with an acronyms and great words of wisdom and a panel for questions and answers. Mark and I are going to allow questions at most of the end of each session,
and then we'll do 2 sessions on Sunday morning starting at 9:00. He's got to get a plane at 12:30, so we're going to end Sunday around 11:30. I'm going to stay, get married and spend the rest of my life in New York.
God, God told me. God told me.
He told me the day that I'm going to fall in love that I'm going to. I told Mark that one of his friends in Texas will have to drive my car up from Dallas because I'm never leaving New York again. But, and I'm just kidding,
that's the basic schedule, but I have a couple other questions.
At the Fellowship of the Spirit, at probably their 7th one, I think Matthew was there. I was asked to do a thing and there was about 350 people in the room. And they say that there, it's a conference for people that do what's in the Big book. And there was a lot of our friends there and they all say they do what's in the big book. And I asked him this question
and I'll tell you the answer they gave after you give your answer. How many people in this room have reached have reached a state of consciousness in their sobriety where they were current with every immense they were consciously aware of
about the same number that are here in their first year for the first time. Now, there must be some statistical ironical correlation between that and you'll have to think about it
because it was 5 or 6.
How many people have suffered from the myth and Alcoholics Anonymous that you cannot ever get current with amends? I'm not saying finish. There's always going to be new ones. I'll probably have a couple to make after this weekend. I'm liable to do anything at any given moment. But how many have felon fallen victim to the belief
that it would be impossible for you to ever get current with every amend you're consciously aware of?
But how can only those people say they haven't fought, they've fallen victim to that belief when only five or six raised their hand? Everybody who didn't raise their hand should say they have fallen victim to a belief that it would be impossible to finish. Every amender consciously aware of
how many people in the room with unfinished immense believe those unfinished amends have anything to do with them drinking alcohol again.
Let's think about it. How many? OK, let me ask it this way. How many people in the room with unfinished amends don't think it has anything to do with them drinking again? They're unfinished amends
now pay when you answer questions. If you want to know the truth versus the lie you may be telling yourself, look at your actions. In other words, if you're sitting in the room and you have a bunch of amends and they've been in your consciousness and you're doing nothing to complete those, then you have the belief system that making those amends has no connection between drinking whiskey again. So when you answer that question,
do it predicated on your actions. Does that make sense?
OK, you'll come up with a different answer.
Stuck on the dash.
I do. I go to a guy. I'm about 10 years sober. I've been through the work several times. I said, Mike, I'm having trouble with the men's. He said, how many you got left? I said four. He said, do you know how to make amends? I said yes. He said, do you know who they're to? I said yes, do you know where they are? I said yes. He said, you're not having trouble with the men's because these guys that I got sober with can take you forward through the steps and they can take your ass backwards through the steps. And he says, you know what, you're probably not done with eight.
You probably haven't really become willing to make amends to the mall. Last word of the 8th step, most overlooked word in the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous all. And I think when they mean all this might be confusing for some of you brainiacs, but I think when they say all they might actually mean,
or when they say the chapter called how it works, it could actually mean. Now let me think about this,
how it works and there is a solution for someone that's been to seven colleges and a couple degrees and a psychologist and has worked as a therapist. There is a solution could actually mean now let me get this right that there is a solution
and where I was going with that I have absolutely no idea. So I have a couple other questions.
Here's a prayer. We might as well start the weekend with it. Everybody that's in amends, I don't care if it's the first time, fifth time. I don't care if it's the fifth time telling people you've been through the steps four times, that you're doing it for the fifth time, but you're not. You're still in it for the first time. See, it took me two. It took me two times through the work to finish the work, once
to get current. I've been asking Mark for years. Can we come up with a better word than current? Because it's a day that in your heart, I would like everyone in this room to one day experience. But I think the book does give us a a good description of it. We've entered the world of the spirit
and we're given a new sixth sense because I don't know about you, but I've only had five senses to depend on my whole life. We all know what the five senses are. How many in this room have ever been to a meeting on the topic that the Big Book promises you a sixth sense beyond sight, touch, smell, hearing, and taste? Anyone ever been to a meeting on the promise in the Big Book that there's a you will be given a sixth sense?
Why haven't more of us been to meetings where the they talk about the promises in the 11th step
that sanity will return? How dare you say sanity will return? What do you mean you can drink again? Are you crazy? The big book doesn't say sanity will return. Yes, it does.
Why do we never hear the 11 step promises at a meeting? How come some groups only say there's 12 promises in the whole program and it's halfway through nine, which leaves a lot of you, a lot of you in a lot of big trouble. Cause a lot of you know in your heart you're never going to make it halfway through nine unless some major power comes into your life from where you are tonight to where you are to get halfway through nine. That's how I felt. There's promises at Step 2 before the third step, prayer after 5.
I asked a guy once, how do you get the promises on 83?
The guy really pissed me off. You know what he said? Do everything from 1 to 82.
That's too simple for a guy like with a mind like mine. You mean to get what's on page 83 in the big book, all I have to do is what's on Page 1 to 82? He said, yeah, it's laid out in a, in a for a reason. And I said, you mean the 4th step actually counting on. Let me get this right. Step 4 actually comes after three. Oh, that's hard, right?
I got another question here.
Well, we might as well go right to the aren't you glad you gave him spiritual consent?
Well, we might as well go right to it. I mean, we've got to get to it. How many people in the room believe alcoholism and drug addiction are the same?
Oh, good. There's been some work done in this room
about as many people that are in their second, first year for the second time.
That's an interesting number. Yeah. Well then, how many people believe that today they have a choice whether they drink again or not?
Come on now. Get honest.
You're sharing it. You share it. Today I have a choice. Today I have a choice. How many of you have a choice?
OK, keep your hands up, just for a second.
That's about as many,
that's about as many that are in the room for the if in their first year for more than the 5th time.
Those that believe they have a choice today. Well, for those that raise their hands that think they have a choice today whether they drink or not, let me ask you this. Doesn't every description of the insanity of alcoholism in the 1st 53 or so pages in this book describe people who think they somehow have a choice whether they drink again or not? Isn't the idea that you have a choice today the insanity of alcoholism?
Think about it Now some of you have found God and you say
God has given me the power of choice to drink. What kind of God did you choose that would give you a choice over something you know is going to kill you? And if you have a choice today and you've done some work, what happened to the promise that you'd be placed in a position of neutrality? And the people that said statements like he couldn't drink even if he would,
the problem has been removed. If the problem has been removed, there is no choice. The only time there's a choice is when there's a problem. And to those of you that think you have a choice, how can you say you're powerless and that you've lost control and have a choice? Because you can't be powerless over alcohol and have a choice.
Think about it, I could be wrong.
Don't get mad at me, let's look at the facts.
How many in this room believe you'll always be recovering?
Same people who think they have a choice today.
Because if you have a choice, you will always be recovering over and over and over and over until you realize or drink enough to get to a place where you don't have a choice.
First promise, first book, first printing. 1st edition, first one ever printed. First page says
this is a story of people who have recovered from alcoholism. The first thing I always said is Joe Hawk thinks he's cured.
I don't think I'm cured. Anyone in the room that knows me knows that I'm not cured of alcoholism.
I have a daily reprieve. But here's another way. Some of you will always say that a daily reprieve contingent on the my maintenance of my spiritual condition. Boy, there must be a big delusion in that somewhere about the first step
in a fit spiritual condition by the grace of God,
because I'm telling you can't even do the work in this book without the grace of God. How about this one? I'm working the steps to the best of my ability. And a friend of yours from your Home group says, I thought you said last week the very best you could ever do was to be glued to a bar stool screwing everybody in your life over. And now you're working the steps to the best of your ability.
That's like the people that will always go
It says it's not about perfection, it's about progress.
But they describe a guy in there who drank because he failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life.
I just beat the wife today, just lost my job, yelled at three people on the way to the meeting. And they'll always go to the one line that shows the sickest people in the room. And I know a man, Oscar Weiss. He's dead. He lived in Denver where we got sober. And he said this book was written. He was one of the first hundred you can look at in a lot of our history books. Oscar W. He said this book was written by drunks for drunks. And they specifically put places in this book where for somebody's looking for a way out, they'll
always go to that word. And you know what they called him in Denver? Drunk traps.
And you know what? Some of those words are probably,
or maybe rarely
got to be careful. Life and death,
you're not in this room because you might have a bad day. If you go out again, you wouldn't be here. Those people are over somewhere else in Queens complaining about having a bad day and how they're going to make the next day really good and comfortable with gratitude, love and happiness,
life and death. If we were all in a cancer ward, there's a hospital upstairs. This happens to be everybody in this New York area that has a specific type of cancer. We've all been given from a test. No doubt we all got six months to live.
We've all been told we meet here as a happy fellowship on Friday nights to talk about the terminal cancer that we're all dying from. And somebody walks in the room and he says good news. Just came in, just came into the area, just came from Switzerland, a 12 part treatment and none of you will have to die. Now would we be sitting around in this room debating whether to take that treatment or not?
Would we want to get the book from the guy that brought the treatment and study the book on how to take the treatment?
And if there were 200 people in the room and there was only 150 treatments, what would happen to you guys in the back that think you have a choice whether to take that treatment or not? They'd be sitting in the back wondering
Chris Raymer would be knocking anybody out of the way between him and that treatment. My buddy over here would probably have to kill a couple people to get to that treatment because he probably did when he didn't take the treatment anyway
because he knows he doesn't have a choice and it's a terminal disease. But yet we sit around debating whether we should take the treatment or not.
Oh, yeah,
OK. I met with God the other day. I had a meeting with God the other day. He came into my living room. She was about 45,
black, right, beautiful. And she said to me,
do you have any questions?
And I said, yeah, yeah, God, I got a question. I said, what kind of problems do you have?
She said. You know, nobody ever asked me what kind of problems I have,
God said. Nobody ever asked me what kind of problems I had. Thank you. Thank you for thinking about me. And I said, well, what kind of problems do you have? And she says
I have a problem believing in humans when they say they love me
because they only ask for money. And the only people that believe in me anymore are a A members, rappers and sports figures.
They're the only ones that thank me anymore,
but I have trouble believing in whether people really like me.
OK,
so I want to talk
this weekend. I I think some of our intent is to disturb some of you about the question of alcoholism.
I,
I like to be clear with people where I come from. About six weeks ago, I'm at work and I get a call from Palomine, the program, and he said, I want to let you know that
that our friend Owen took a gun last night. In about 9 1/2 years sobriety, he blew his brains out and
the family would like you to do the eulogy on Friday night. That was on a Tuesday.
This was a guy took through the work when he was about
probably about four years sober, dying of untreated alcoholism, and
he had a revolutionary spiritual experience. He got free of a lot of bondage that he was in sober with old belief systems, like thinking he had a choice in whether he drank or not sober and many other things.
And then somewhere along the line, he must have forgotten what we talked about a lot, which is stay in action, work and rework because of a phenomenon called reconstruction of the ego. You cannot, you cannot beat your ego. Your ego is mysterious and powerful as God himself as far as you're concerned, and you cannot defeat your ego. It'll take the best you. I don't care how long you're sober. I don't care how much you love God. I don't care how spiritual you are. I don't care what your beliefs are. It'll take the best of you.
And
so I said I would deliver that eulogy
and I went to that church and
God, you know, there were a lot of Alcoholics there. And
we talk about spiritual consent. There were three, three men he sponsored.
There were just basket cases because they didn't have a clue what was going on with this man
because he didn't give him spiritual consent. You know, they were devastated beyond belief. It was a it was a surprise.
And his, his brother got up there and he collapsed when he was up there, you know,
you know, that's alcoholism. So you don't have to drink. You don't have to drink to die. And that was on. So I did that on Friday
and then on. Let's see, on Sunday I get another call and A and a man unknown.
He, he had just celebrated a year, but he had drank. He came to a almost 20 years ago
until he got exposed to the steps out of the big book with someone who had experience. He never had a chance and in and out of treatment in in all the things that we do. And he, he had done a lot of damage to his liver and his kidneys and,
but he,
he came in for a routine check up. He's waiting for a liver transplant. And and he died and he died sober, but a year sober, 42 years old, multi millionaire, wonderful man,
diet alcoholism, two of them sober.
See, if you think that I care about how you feel about anything I have to say to you
about the subject of alcoholism, you are sadly mistaken. I love you far too much to care about how you feel about what I say. If something comes to me on an intuitive level that I think may prevent you from dying on alcoholic death. And that's whether you're brand new or that's whether you're around five years or 10 or 15 or 20 or 30.
I love Alcoholics and drug addicts and I'm tired of burying them and I'm tired of all that.
You know, those of you don't know Chris, Chris Harr very well.
You know, he and I have worked in the field of alcoholism for quite some time. And
and
so we get to experience some things that a lot of you don't. They used to die in our rooms. They don't now because you got the screen of treatment centers and hospitals. But they're still dying, dying in droves. And we see that all the time. And then people wonder sometime why we're so passionate. You know, why, why are these guys why? Why do they seem so rigid,
you know, I mean, why do they seem so serious, you know, what is this about, you know? Well, well, let me ask you this question. How how many of you have been to a funeral in the last year of someone who died from alcoholism or drug addiction? Raise your hands.
OK? Probably a fourth of the room more than those in the room that have finished every amends they're consciously aware of. Yeah. Now, on that note, you know a few things.
Joe and I are not attached to methodology anymore.
We just we just damn near anal ourselves out of here with our methodology. We got great on, on technique and method. We just didn't grow very much.
But if you want to hear the mechanics, there's plenty of people in the room that know how to start on the title page. If you got to go back somewhere by yourself, you just ask Glenn Kay, which set were they still sane and did they start on the title page and just go through the mechanics of how to do the work? Get one of those because that's not the attitude this weekend. Yeah, we've got a different 1:00. We, we will certainly
talk about the steps,
but I believe you're going to hear a lot more of our experience with the steps.
Some of what I want to talk with you about this week. I I I told you I had an intent and I want to share with you briefly
my experience with three states of consciousness
in which I have embraced and experienced life.
The first state of consciousness is the one I was in when I was brought to Alcoholics Anonymous.
I've heard a lot of different people's stories, but bottom line was I just have to assume on October 19th to 1982, this power, which I shall call God the rest of the weekend
must have just said, you know, I, I don't know, I got work for this guy to do and he just ain't getting his ZAP. And that's really what happened for me. And I've remained zapped since then. And boy, there's times I really needed a drink.
If the power don't want you drinking, you're not drinking and choice don't have anything to do with it.
And so that man who came into AA, the consciousness and the way in which he experienced life once you separated him from alcohol for a little while was, was he was in terror all the time. From the time he got up till the time he he went to bed, he had minimal life skills,
just couldn't hit his ass with both hands to to to to put it quite frankly. And and then then,
you know, fairly quickly though, yeah, you know, you get a little sober and you feel a little better and, you know, it's a big book says the main problem centers in mind that mine starts talking. And now you're adding new information. You're picking up an, A, a on top of old information that, and you, you somehow start to think you have some ideas and some thoughts about things and,
and you know, life begins to get better. And normally, you know, you can get a job and get a house and car and those kinds of things. And
somewhere in there you'll, you'll do some, I think what Joe talked about is you'll get going along and you'll be doing some step work. And particularly you, you'll get up around that, that 9th step and you'll have a list and it may or may not be thorough and you'll make some of those amends and,
and then you'll go back and rest on the dash again because of a belief system that making all your men's has no connection between drinking because you've lost your first step connection. And you may or may not dabble with the 10th 11 step. And what really starts to happen, based on my experience, is your life starts to go real flat. And page 52 starts to show up in your book in a fairly consistent basis. And dishonesty begins to creep into your life. And when all that starts happening, since everything is connected, you begin to experience things like depression and some other neat stuff. And
you get to bring that into, into all the meetings and share that neat stuff
because by then you, you, you've forgotten what it was that got you there. And so you know that that becomes, that becomes a state of consciousness that, that you in which you get to experience, experience your life. And somewhere in there, I think for some of us has certainly happened to me as I hit a wall with that
a big time wall
and something had to happen. And, and it did happen for me right around 1010 years. I, I hit another bottom, just almost pulled my butt right out of here and
I recommitted and did a lot of work. I had, I had a lot of unwritten inventory and then in hindsight
there was unfinished amends. Some I had awareness, some some I did not have an awareness of.
And I begin to approach inventories in fifth steps, multiple fifth steps,
making all of the immense paying all the money back with the desperation of a drowning man. And
my life actually in in many respects in 1991 in a psychiatric hospital in Houston, TX is at at almost 10 years sober is quite frankly, when I said the words of the third step and men and with every fiber of my being
and said from this day on, my life is not my business. I don't care anymore where I live who's in my life. The I I'm done. Thank you very much for letting me believe I had something to do with all this for all this time. It just, you know, it's just hasn't really worked too well. So just, you know, take take it away and thank you. Thank you. I'll just, I don't care where I live anymore and all that stuff. And
and then Joe talked about something,
the last two amends that were in my consciousness that I needed to find. And for me, there's not such a thing as a big amend or little amend or amend as an amend, whether it's $5 or 50,000. And I don't know if you all aware of this, but in the spiritual world they don't have too many zeros. There's just, you know, but
through a series of events at 17 years sobriety, I found those last
two people and made those amends. And now you get another level of consciousness that you get to experience that is beyond anything that you can imagine, is beyond anything that your mind can wrap around.
Position of neutrality, position of love, a position of service, a position of unification, Anything that speaks of separation, you have nothing to do with. You don't see gender and you don't see race and you don't care about yourself anymore. And
you weep a lot and you know God, see,
you know the power behind the name, you know, and I,
you get to go places and you get to talk about that thing. And you get to be a service at a level you just never even knew existed. And you're at peace within yourself. You see humility, humus grounded. You're grounded in who and what you truly are. See, attached to the power and the power only you get to walk through. You get to walk. Being a freeman. That's a third state of consciousness. And based on my experience, that third state of consciousness I did not get to experience until I'd made all my amends
and it took 17 years, takes what it takes.
So as we talk about the steps,
maybe if you'd keep those three states of consciousness and mind and maybe kind of ask yourself,
which one am I at?
If you're new, you're sound asleep, dreaming, you're awake. You don't have to worry about it. You got a lot of grace just floating around, man. Just enjoy your ignorance while you can. Although this weekend's not, we're going to mess some of you up because you're going to, you're, you're going to get awakened to some things and that means you're going to have to leave. And see, ignorance is bliss when you wake me up to the fact that there might be a connection between unfinished amends and drinking either.
You know, that's that's not a happy deal.
You know, particularly if you have a lot of unfinished amends, this means you got some things to do.
So I would ask you to consider doing that this weekend. Where am I in this process?
You are responsible for how you experience life. No one's doing anything to you. How much of that power do you want to know? Do you want to experience?
You get to decide that, See?
Spiritual consent. You know, I only work with people who ask me to work with them.
Umm, why? Because I, if you don't, it's simple. If, if you're content with, with where you're at and what you've been doing and how it looks and how you're living your life, then so be it. But if you have a restlessness within you and there's a part of you that said there is so much more than we might be able to provide you with a set of spiritual exercises to bring that about, to have a revolutionary spiritual experience. I don't care how long you're sober, see
if you want to lay aside some beliefs. Open mind, open heart. You heard that prayer that I opened with and it truly is a practice
is we breathe this breath right now. None of us have ever breathed this breath before. And what's going to happen the next minute, None of you've ever experienced before. And even people that you on the break that you talked to, you have never experienced that moment in time with him. And you are asleep to that. You are asleep to the sacredness and the wonder and the holiness of that
and the consciousness that can come with that.
You're saying what the hell is the connection between that and whiskey, right?
See, everything is connected. You hear this thing all the time about, you know, I don't have a drinking problem, right? I have a living problem.
Let me think, what do we used to do to treat living problems? We drank.
See, I tell people that, you know, these guys will call me up, you know, well, I got a problem with her. I say, oh, you're getting thirsty.
No, no, no, no. I'm having a fight with it. Yeah, you're getting thirsty,
you know, and they get the point. Somewhere in there, if you're a real alcoholic, ultimately at the bottom of the funnel is a glass of whiskey.
See it all the time. I think we had one person this room with more than 25 years sobriety.
I go to meetings sometimes. I have the most sobriety in the room.
It's like, what? What is that about?
We have a chronic fatal progressive illness called alcoholism and it kills and kills every time. In my experience is if I do not have a revolutionary spiritual experience, it continue to grow within the framework of that experience. I am probably going to die of alcoholism. And it can happen like my friend Owen. And that almost happened to me. Or I could drink myself to death.
You know, if spiritual living was easy, ladies and gentlemen, there'd be 50,000 people. We'd be doing this in Shea Stadium. This is not for everybody. You have to decide. Working with the disciplines of 10 and 11 and a commitment to finish amends is not easy. But you got to remember, you don't do it on your power.
I tell people this all the time. You know, I didn't wake up one day and say, you know, I think I'll become a little sunbeam for God.
You know, I all I can tell you is what happened to me is, is the material world. As I begin to know an experience left me empty and bereft.
The only thing left was God see, and and most you were just like me. If it's of the flesh, you've been there and done that right and it leaves you empty. So I guess it's it's like a man named Osho. He's got a great tape. I love it. It's called Zorba the Buddha. And what he says is, is his experience was that the people that he found who ultimately wound up doing spiritual living were the ones who exhausted
everything. Like Zorba drank all the drinks they could drink, had all the sex they could, ate all of food they could just took. The seven deadly sins ran them rampant
as long as they could until it no longer worked. I thought, well, he's talking about me and every alcoholic I've ever met, right? So, you know, this is a room full of Zorba, the Buddhas, you know. So we, we've ran that course. So this weekend's about something else. This weekend is about a set of spiritual exercises designed to bring about a revolutionary spiritual experience.
One last comment. To know God, you must be out of your mind
as God is beyond your mind. If you
another deadly, deadly trap with the second and third step in the 11th step is the worship of your own mind. If you're sitting in this room and you're having an experience beyond your understanding, it is probably of God. And if you're having an experience that you're understanding, it is of your mind and your main problem centers in your mind.
My standard response since 1991 is I don't know because my experiences saw always consistently as I sit here right now far exceeds my understanding. And if your experience equals your understanding, it is of your mind. Unbeknownst to me, when I look at my first ten years, it feels to me when I look back in hindsight that I did not know God, but that I was worshipping my mind
because I thought that because my mind told me that I believed in God, that I knew God.
Wow, isn't that interesting? So there's some of the things that we're going to, we're going to talk about this weekend. We're going to do that by talking about our experiences through the steps. And that timer just went off. I think we're ready for our first break, aren't we?
All right, see you in 15 minutes. 15 minutes.
Can we have a moment of silence?
OK, do you know why some people are afraid of meditation?
Because that because every time they heard you have the right to remain silent. It scared the hell out of me,
but you do you. Do
you have the right to remain silent?
What's that old saying? Don't just sit there, do something.
What about this one? Don't just do something, sit there. It's a great book,
right?
If your mind is open and you've said some sort of prayer, dear God, let me have an open mind and a new experience with these two idiots. Whatever they say, this book, these steps, whatever might be asked for an open mind and it please set aside what I think I know about those things for an open mind and a new experience. You might have an experience this weekend. Does experience having an open mind and beliefs being challenged always feel good?
No. Do Are we the kind of people that worship the idea? If it feels good, it's good, and if it feels bad, it's bad. So only do the things that feel good. Take care of yourself, nurture yourself. Imagine nurturing the thing that you're supposed to get rid of.
Be good to yourself, nurture yourself, work on yourself. My God, there has to come a time on the spiritual path where you just got to quit perpetuating violence on yourself by trying to change that part of your being. That's always going to be a little bit fucked up. That's always going to be human. When one of my spiritual teachers said that to me,
my God, I began to have compassion for myself,
to love that part of your being that will always be broken.
Couple more questions.
How many have suffered from the belief that one through 9 are meant to be done once
and you live your life in 1011 and 12?
The same number of people that are in the room for more than the first time in their first year.
How many believe that a big book study is a is a waste of time?
The same number that think they have a choice. Today I'm going to tell you, studying the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous is a waste of time unless it gets you excited about doing what's in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. Look at the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous like this. It's a set of swing set instructions. Put part A to Part B to part C to Part D to part E. What do you got? A swing set? We put part A to Part B to part P to part C to Part D. You got a spiritual awakening.
Studying it
is not going to make it happen.
Learning it is not going to make it happen. Doing it is going to make it happen. My favorite analogy. It's still my favorite analogy, and I think they're very much related. And that is the the similarities between a spiritual awakening and an orgasm.
Now go back to the day before your first orgasm and think of everything you thought you knew about what it would be like to have one. Then go to the day after you'd had one. That's the difference between knowledge and experience.
It's very simple.
2 twin brothers, identical in every way. They make a bet. We're going to go find out what it would be like to have an orgasm. One goes to the library, one goes to the whorehouse. The one that goes to the library studies it, studies it, studies it, gets a degree, goes on to teach it at at Harvard. He knows more about what it would be like to have an orgasm than anybody in the country. The other brother, it took him 1520 minutes depending.
He found out what it would be like to have one,
right? But why do we got to sit around studying what it would be like to have a spiritual awakening? Go for it, Chris said last night. Our founders didn't suffer from the delusion that they had time. 2 weeks, boom out of the hospital making amends
now. This is one I never heard until my first visit to New York, but some of you have fallen victim to this belief.
One step a year.
So let me get that right. Nobody in this room would be helping anybody until you're 12 years sober.
Nobody would be in amends until you're 9. I made it six months and I was ready to die of untreated alcoholism. And they're going to tell you take a step a year. Guy mentioned it at the break.
Misery loves company.
First thing I ever heard at one of my first meetings. A great speaker from Texas, he said. You can stay sick in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous as long as you want, and you'll have plenty of company,
he also said. You can get well in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, and you'll have plenty of company doing that too.
Which group do you want to belong to?
OK, another question.
How many believe the only requirement for membership is the only requirement for sobriety?
The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. I would be willing to say that anybody in this room over five years doesn't even meet the requirement to be a member of AA anymore. Because you know what I don't have a desire to stop drinking. It was removed 20 years ago.
And what we've done in the program, what we've done, because we ain't blaming nobody here.
What we've done in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, with the difference, the perversion that the the the twistedness between the short form of the third tradition and the long form of the third tradition is what is watered down the message.
Because now even with the stuff our own general service office puts out about a closed meeting, I think Bill was real clear in problems other than alcoholism. The pamphlet
open meetings, bring anybody, bring the neighbors, bring the family, bring anybody, anybody's welcome to an open meeting, a closed meeting. You could now be an overeater. You could be anything but an alcoholic. And all you would have to say is I have a desire to stop drinking. And you could walk up to somebody who's dying of alcoholism and share your solution and not have that common problem and kill that person you're talking to because you might say I'm a member of
because I have a desire to stop drinking and I just choose not to drink every day. And everything's just hunky Dory. And you've just given that person a razor blade and they might as well just kill themselves. Alcoholics Anonymous is for Alcoholics. And you don't you have to drink alcohol to be an alcoholic. My therapist told me I have an alcoholic mind, but I never drank. No, you got a fucked up mind and you're suffering from a spiritual malady.
Alcoholism has to do with alcohol.
The main symptom of alcoholism is an idea that's going to take you back to alcohol,
and drug addicts aren't always Alcoholics. We're going to get to that in a little bit when we get to the doctor's opinion. Lot of people are alcoholic addict.
I started the work, went through a lot of the work because I've had the craving for drugs, I've had the obsession for drugs.
I have a drugalogue. That might scare some of you that are real addicts, but all I have to do is say something to a real addict. All I have to do is say one thing.
I woke up one day, made-up my mind to never do heroin ever again. I didn't like where it took me, and I never shot heroin ever again. And a real addict's eyes will glaze over and he'll say, I don't understand you because I tried that time after time after time. Then I'll say I had a couple bouts with cocaine, one here in New York, one in Key West, right over here on President St. Some guys, early 70s, good cocaine. I was always the guy when they were snorting it and they didn't want to hear about no junky,
nothing, nothing. I would always say, could you please put mine in here? And I would go to the other room. I shoot cocaine. I know about the craving. But you know what? I woke up one day and said I don't like the way cocaine makes me feel. I'm never going to do it ever again. And I never did it ever again. So technically, we're going to find in this book, my first step goes like this. I'm a real alcoholic who was a hard drug user, and I fit every symptom of a hard drug user, but I'm not a real addict.
Now,
I'd like to talk about a step that everyone in this room has been on but nobody in this room has ever heard of. Only a couple.
I would like to talk about a step that everyone of you have been on. Me too. A new step. A new step, but we've all been on it.
I would like to talk about Step 0
and I'm saying 0 for a reason because it goes like this. Look at the time from your and we all have different lengths of time in Step zero, and you can be in Step zero again after going through one through 9, having been in 1011 and 12. Step Zero goes like this.
Think of it for the first time. You were in Step zero from the day of your last drink until the day you submitted yourself to the program of Alcoholics Anonymous rather than the fellowship. You were in a step called Step Zero because all you were doing was eliminating alternatives to get down to two,
because there's no reason to do the work in the big book unless you're down to two alternatives.
I think it's page 20/20/25 and on that page it says
to go on the best you can, blotting out the consciousness of your situation as best you can, or to accept spiritual help. And you are on step zero because you got more than those two. You got those two maybe, but you also got another option that if you get the right job, everything will be just right. You get the right relationship, everything will be just fine. And you spend a period of time. It only took me 6 months. God loves me more than He does a lot of you. You had to suffer a lot more than I did. He gave me 6 months to hit bottom
step zero because I thought I had more than two alternatives
and my alternative was this. I admit that I'm powerless over alcohol and drugs and that's why my life became unmanageable. So now that I'm not drinking and using any anymore, the problems out of the way, everything should be just hunky Dory because I'm not using drugs and alcohol anymore.