Mark H. and Dave F. at the Fellowship of the spirit convention at St. John's University, Queens in New York July 27th
Chris,
how
does
don't
drink
and
go
to
meetings
work
for
you
and
is
the
solution
doing
another
90
and
90
next?
You
know,
and
I
and
it's
just
like
what
what
Dave
said
earlier,
the
people
that
are
talking
about
this
in
meetings,
their
hearts
in
the
right
place.
And
it's
like
if,
if,
if
90
and
90
and
it's
a
huge
problem
in
the
treatment
centers
because
that's
what
we
talk
a
lot
about
that.
You
know,
we
want
you
to
go
to
a
bunch
of
meetings,
folks.
But
if
90
and
90
got
this
cats
over,
then
he's
going
to
share
that
with
you.
But
we've
gotten
off
the
original
deal.
The
trick
is
the
steps,
not
the
meetings.
Meeting
makers
don't
make
it.
Meeting
makers
go
slowly
insane
and
then
shoot
themselves.
And
I
don't,
I
don't
know.
And
and
I
have
no
opinion
on
outside
issues.
There's
there's
a
great
thing
that
comes
from
the
big
book
in
it
and
it's
back
in
the
lost
chapters
and
it
says
that
we
have
a
substitute
for
alcohol
and
it's
the
AA
meeting.
If
you
drank
every
day,
then
plug
your
butt
into
an
A,
a
meeting
every
day,
but
you
damn
well
be
have
a
sponsor
and
be
working
the
12
steps
and
doing
the
spiritual
deal.
It's
not
a
replacement
for
they're
not
mutually
exclusive.
All
right,
this
question
has
got
to
be
for
me.
Yes,
it
is.
Why
is
the
10th
step
listed
after
the
4th
step
in
the
worksheets
in
the
work
workbook
guide?
By
the
way,
there
is
no
page
8
because
the
way
the
computer
formatted
that
turned
the
page
sideways.
So
that
will
be
the
next
question.
Why
is
there
no
page
eight
in
the
guide?
The
reason
the
10th
step
comes
after
the
that
if,
if
you
want
to,
you
can
go
right
to
your
big
book,
right?
And
you
look
at
the
10
step,
page
84
and
I
don't
want
to
misquote
it.
I
want
to
get
it
right
because
somebody
will
hang
me.
This
thought
brings
us
to
Step
10,
which
suggests
we
continue
to
take
personal
inventory
and
continue
to
sit
right.
Any
new
mistakes
as
we
go
along.
We
vigorously
commence
this
way
of
living
as
we
cleaned
up
the
past.
Where
do
you
start
to
clean
up
your
past
4th
step?
You
don't
know
where
your
what
damage
it
is
that
you
have
to
clean
up
until
you
go
through
the
inventory
process.
I've
heard
other
people
say
it
starts
at
step
9
and
everything
else.
That's
not
my
experience.
Why
spend?
Let's
say
it's
going
to
take
you
two
months
to
write
all
your
inventory
big
pile
of
crap.
If
it's
going
to
take
you
two
months
to
dig
out
of
this
big
pile
of
crap.
Meanwhile,
you're
creating
a
whole
another
pile
of
crap
over
here
because
you're
not
cleaning
up
10
and
11,
the
current
stuff
that
you're
dealing
today.
Clean
up
this
big
pile
of
crap
and
keep
the
slate
clean
over
here
so
you
don't
have
a
get
done
with
an
inventory
and
have
another
pile
of
inventory
you
got
to
write.
Makes
sense.
That's
why
step
four
and
step
10
follow
each
other
in
the
guide.
Mark,
what
the
hell
are
you
guys
talking
about
and
are
you
out
of
your
minds?
We're
not.
We're
talking
about
nothing.
And
yes,
we
are.
In
case
you're
wondering,
I
wrote
that
one,
you
know,
you
know,
I,
I
tell
you
back
to
the
meetings
and
stuff.
You
know,
you,
if
you've
been
sitting
here
this
weekend
and
if
you're
getting
any
glimpse
at
all
about
this
program
and
the
power
of
God
in
your
life.
The,
the
tragic
thing
going
on
that
that
I
see
is
look
what
we
could
be
talking
about
in
these
meetings,
the
power
and
the
power
that
it
manifests
through
us
in
our
lives.
Look
what
we
could
be
talking
about
meditation
and
freedom
and
power
and
peace
and
serenity
and
just
the
most
incredibly
exciting
things
that
would
hook
a
brand
new
drunk
sitting
there
on
his
hands
and
knees
with
it
with
a
life
that's
upside
down.
That's
what's
sad
to
me.
When
you
look
at
this
book
and
you
look
at
these
experiences
we
can
have
and,
and
you
know,
that's
it's
why
I
think
other
stuff
Chris
said,
imagine,
if
you
will,
a
new
guy
coming
into
this
thing
this
weekend
and
then
going
maybe
to
some
others
and
imagine
the
difference
in,
in
that
individual's
whole
perception
of
alcoholic.
I'm
honest.
I
mean,
they,
they
would
feel
power
in
this
room.
They
would
feel
peace
in
this
room.
They
would
hear
something
that
would
reel.
They
hear
something
that
speak
to
their
spirit.
That's
the
kind
of
stuff
that
makes
people
come
back.
That's
what
should
be
going
on
in
the
rooms
of
Alcoholics
Anonymous
because
they
should,
we
should
be
talking
about
this
kind
of
stuff.
And
I
believe
it
would
have
a,
a
much
greater
impact.
I
mean,
those
of
you
who
have
strong
groups,
you
know
what
I'm
talking
about.
You
walk
into
that
kind
of
a
setting
and
you
leave
there.
You
leave
there
on
fire
with
this
thing.
So
and
for
the
people
in
your
dark
tunnel
meetings
and
say,
well,
you
can't
say
that
stuff
about
God
to
them,
you'll
scare
them
away
from
me.
Guess
what?
Alcohol
scare
them
back.
We
don't
have
to
worry
about
that.
I'm
very
new
at
this
and
I
need
to
know
how
we
can
move
from
conceding
in
our
minds
and
instead
getting
to
our
innermost
selves
in
turning
it
over
and
offering
ourselves
to
God.
The
best
tool
I
know
of
is
going
through
the
book
with
a
somebody
that's
had
that
experience
a
which
means
they've
worked
the
steps.
They're
at
least
one
page
ahead
of
you
in
the
Big
Book.
Turn
every
statement
in
the
big
Book
into
a
question
and
anytime
it
says
he
or
him
or
Alcoholics
or
we
or
they
and
put
your
name
in
those
places.
Dave
is
restless,
irritable
and
discontented.
And
unless
Dave
can
take
another
drink,
you
know,
turn
it
into
that.
And
then
all
of
a
sudden
it's
not
this
old
geriatric
book
that
was
written
in
39.
It's
a
book
that's
current
for
me
today
with
my
experience.
And
I'm
not
this
experience.
I'm
talking
my
emotional
experience
and
I'm
back
thinking
about
how
I
felt
and
all
of
a
sudden
it
drives
right
down
in
here
in
my
heart
and
I
know
for
in
the
core
of
my
being,
I'm
alcoholic.
That's
the
only
way
I
know
how
to
do
it.
Drink
lots
of
whiskey.
Yeah,
that'll
convince
you,
Mark
to
mark.
Are
we
closer
to
God
than
we
know?
Define.
It's
either
2
mark
or
70
mark.
You
know
you
try
reading
that.
What
does
that
mean
to
you?
I'll
meet
you
in
your
room.
I
I
see
a
public
amend
in
the
future,
the
question
is
to
mark
are
we
closer
to
God
than
we
know?
Go
back
to
the
water.
My
experience
with
that
is
yes
to
a
course
of
action.
I
have
an
awareness
and
experience
with
that
which
has
always
been
within
and
without
since
the
day
that
I
entered
this
physical
body,
since
the
day
I
was
born.
I'm
awake,
aware,
mindful
and
conscious
of
that
is
the
difference.
That
is
what
has
happened
to
me
and
through
me
as
a
result
of
doing
what
this
simple
program
of
action
has
has
asked
me
to
do.
So
my
experience
with
that
is,
is
yes,
absolutely.
I'm
working
on
my
four
step
inventory,
first
two
columns
for
the
first
time.
However,
I
do
a
nightly
10
step
for
myself.
Many
AA
say
the
steps
are
in
order
for
a
reason.
Is
it
OK
to
do
the
daily
10th
step
while
still
working
on
the
4th
step?
I
already
touched
on
that
one.
What
do
you
need?
You
need
power.
What
gives
us
our
power
on
a
daily
basis?
Conscious
contact
with
God.
Plug
it
in.
Absolutely
do
not
stop
doing
a
10th
and
11th
step
or
you
may
die
before
you
can
finish
your
inventory.
Dave,
you
said
you
would
not
work
with
a
female,
but
why
are
you
attached
to
the
male
female
deal?
Are
we
not
just
spiritual
bodies?
I'm
not
attached
to
the
male
female
deal.
My
wife
is
ha
and
I
stood
up
before
my
God
and
I
said
that
I
would
love,
honor
and
cherish
her.
To
be
honest
with
you,
I
was
in
a,
in
a
sober
blackout
because
if
you,
you
know
how
I
came
up
with
this.
We
did
a
couples
meeting.
I
was
about
six
or
seven
years
into
couples
meetings
and
somebody
brought
the
topic
of
your
wedding
vows
and
I
man,
I
was
blank.
I
was
in
a
complete
blackout.
I
had
no
idea
what
the
vows
were.
I
was
scared
shitless
and
I
was
standing
up
there
saying
this
stuff
in
front
of
everybody
and
I
have
no
idea
what
I
was
saying.
So
I
went
back
and
looked
up
the
vows
and
I
looked
at
what
it
was
in
there
and
I
couldn't
believe
that.
I
stood
up
and
said
that
not
having
the
slightest
idea
of
what
it
meant.
Not
a
clue.
And
I
had
done
a
lot
of
work
on
relationships.
At
that
point.
I
was
completely
asleep,
so
I
had
to
sit
back
and
take
a
look
at
what
is
love,
honor
and
cherish
mean.
You
know,
it's
been
a
constant
theme
with
my
wife.
She
has
a
fear
of
abandonment
issue.
A
lot
of
women
have
fear
of
abandonment
issues.
She's
a
tremendously
jealous
person
at
times.
She's
Italian
and
Russian,
Feisty
breed
the
way
I
like
them,
you
know,
even
even
the
slightest
look
of
impropriety,
even
even
there's
even
a
scent
of
it.
I'm
doing
something
wrong
and
if
there's
other
people
that
can
carry
the
message,
why
does
it
have
to
be
my
hand
of
AA
in
that
case?
You
know,
that's
just
my
experience.
I
used
to
work
with
them.
To
me,
we're
all
children
of
God.
And
yes,
I
can
help
you.
If
I
were
the
only
person
around,
would
I
let
you
die?
Absolutely
not.
You
know,
I'll
make
sure
you
get
to
the
women
and
get
plugged
in,
but
there's
plenty
of
women
that
can
help
you.
How
do
you
present
the
a
recovery
program
in
rooms
where
AAS
stay
sober
on
the
fellowship
alone?
And
we
and
we,
I
think
should
be
we
are
considered
thumpers
and
not
welcome
live
by
example.
Yeah,
you
don't
ever
have
to
defend
the
big
book.
And
it's
the
truth.
We're
not
trying
to
ran
this
in
anybody's
orifices.
We're
just
saying,
listen,
the
original
message
said
this
and
my
life
changed
as
a
result
of
doing
this.
Let's
let
you
may
want
to
do
that.
They'll
they'll
come.
You'll
be
amazed
where
a
couple
of
you'll
get
together.
It's
a
it's
a
it's
a
the
coolest
thing
to
watch.
While
I'm
thinking
about
it,
some
of
you
bigger
guys
back
there
start
breaking
up
some
of
that
furniture.
We
need
to
get
a
big
fire
up
here.
This
place
got
this
place
got
cold.
Air
conditioning
is
a
lot
of
whack.
Mark,
what
can
you
do
about
the
fear
of
not
having
enough
money
when
you
wrote
about
the
fear
and
meditate
on
the
fear
and
ask
God
to
remove
the
fear.
And
the
fear
is
still
there
and
it
affects
me
and
my
wife.
I'll
answer
that
in
the
morning.
In
the
meantime,
just
sit
with
it
tonight,
go
back
to
page
68
and
look
at
the
instructions.
You've
only
done
the
first
half.
It's
an
AND
sentence.
Another
language
lesson
takes
two
pieces
for
that
exercise
on
page
68.
You've
only
done
the
first
half
kind
of
look
in
the
area
of
self-reliance
is
what
I'll
say
in
there.
Mark
on
page
67.
Please
review
67
Colon
0
paragraph
of
the
1234
column
on
your
four
step
review.
And
where
does
the
prayer
come
in?
I'm
sorry,
Yeah,
I'm
wearing
glasses.
You
can
go
on
to
another
one.
Well,
this
is
another
Mark
one.
This
is
another
Mark
one.
Here's
a
Dave
one.
Dave,
what
is
the
shortest
amount
of
time
you've
taken
someone
through
the
steps
on
their
first
time
through?
Through
all
12
steps?
What
depends
on
their
resentments?
I've
got
it
down
on
a
fairly
consistent
basis.
A
wet
drunk
walking
through
the
door.
If
if
I
have
the
time
to
to
vote
to
him
in
one
giant
block,
about
six
hours,
he's
out
making
amends.
We
don't
mess
around.
That's
the
way
Bill
did
it.
That's
why
Doctor
Bob
did
it.
The
guy
is
on
fire.
He's
dying
inside.
I
got
to
get
him
some
relief.
So
I
pump
him
through
the
steps
real
quick
and
wake
up
his
spirit.
Just
the
fact
that
he's
not
drinking
alcohol
is
enough
to
free
him
a
little
bit.
I
get
him,
get
rid
of
some
of
that
guilt,
get
rid
of
some
of
the
it's
not
going
to
be
perfect.
It's
not
going
to
be
right.
Even
any
step
worth
doing
is
worth
doing
wrong.
Pump
him
through
and
get
him
right
back
in.
Now
he's
got
a
little
relief.
He's
had
a
little
bit
of
an
experience.
He
doesn't
understand
it,
but
now
he's
least
willing
to
go
through.
And
now
he's
not
on
fire
anymore.
He
can
slow
down
and
take
his
time
and
have
more
of
an
awakening
and
guess
what?
We're
going
to
pump
him
through
again
and
again
and
again.
The
steps
are
circular,
not
linear.
You
don't
do
them
once
and
live
in
1011
and
12.
Not
my
experience.
You
ready
for
that
one
or
no?
Well,
if
I
understand
this
question
right,
you
write
your
first
three
columns
and
then
there's
the
prayer,
and
then
you
write
the
4th
column.
But
talk
to
me
tomorrow
if
for
some
reason
I
misunderstood
your
question,
I
don't
know
what
that
says.
Who's
that
too?
I
don't
know,
looks
like
self
or
something.
My
faith
in
God
kept
me
free
from
financial
insecurity.
This
has
changed
recently.
Married
my
husband,
worried
about
not
having
enough
money.
Your
faith
in
God
kept
you
free
from
financial
insecurity
and
now
you're
worried.
Where's
the
problem?
Your
faith,
you
know,
we
didn't
talk
about
it.
We
probably
should
have.
I
was
going
to
wait
to
talk
about
it
at
10:11.
The
A
program
does
not
say
we
live
one
day
at
a
time.
This
is
another
one
that
I'm
going
to
get
in
trouble
for.
That's
not
what
the
book
says.
The
book
says
we
have
to
live
spiritually
for
a
24
hour
period.
Faith
has
to
live
in
US
and
through
us
for
24
hours
or
we
die.
That's
our
24
hour
program
is
to
have
faith
in
every
hour
of
our
life
or
we
die.
It's
not
we
just
don't
pick
up
a
drink
for
this
24
hours.
You're
missing
something.
How
do
we
not
pick
up
the
drink?
Conscious
contact
with
God.
I
think
it's
on.
If
a
memory
serves
me,
page
16
is
where
that's
written.
So
that
that
thing
on
faith,
I
would
ask
that
person,
something
smells
about
that.
You
don't
move.
You
don't
move
from
a
position
of
faith
to
no
faith-based
on
my
experience.
So
I,
I
would
ask
them
to
to
maybe
go
back
to
look
at
what
was
the
reason
why
they
didn't
have
fear
prior
to
getting
married.
And
I
don't
know
if
it
was
faith
or
not,
but
I'd
sit
with
that
a
little
bit.
Yeah,
16
colon
two.
There
is,
however,
a
vast
amount
of
fun
about
it
all.
I
suppose
some
would
be
shocked
at
our
seemingly
worldliness
and
levity,
but
just
underneath
there
is
a
deadly
earnestness.
Faith
has
to
work
24
hours
a
day
in
and
through
us
or
we
perish.
Mark,
can
you
describe
your
experience
with
surrender?
2
Can
you
make
self
will
your
own
surrender?
Or
it
is
it?
Is
it
the
result
of
pain
caused
causing
detachment
to
manifest
itself?
And
three,
what
do
you
do
in
the
meantime
while
you're
waiting
for
surrender
to
happen,
IE
you're
smoking
the
LAH
Homer
Simpson
there
's
the
first
surrender
that
I
experienced
was
what
I
call
a
surrender
of
an
alcoholic
death
that
took
place
the
morning
of
October
19th
of
1982.
The
second
surrender,
as
far
as
I
can
tell
that
we're
all
going
to
have
to
go
through
in
the
program
is
self
will
hitting
the
wall
with
self
will
around
length
of
sobriety.
My
own
personal
experience
with
Surrender
is
this.
I
run
anything
as
far
and
as
hard
and
as
long
as
I
can.
That's
just
the
way
that
I've
done
things.
I've
done
it
with
everything
in
my
life.
Alcohol
money.
Uh,
uh,
not
to
address
the
smoking
issue,
which
is
always
of
concern
from
people
when,
when
I
go
somewhere
and
I'm
talking
about
God,
because
they
have
this
idea
that
you're
supposed
to
be
a
water
Walker,
but
which
I'm
not.
A
surrender
does
not
come
about
if
there's
any
sense
of
reliance
going
on.
Every
alcoholic
I've
ever
met,
surrender
seems
to
only
show
up
through
a
very
large
window
of
pain.
No
other
way.
I
obviously
haven't
experienced
enough
of
that
around
that.
I
suspect
there's
something
blowing
in
the
wind
with
that
issue.
But
I
tell
you
something,
I,
and
this
is
my
experience.
I'm
not
the
kind
of
guy
that
wakes
up
one
day
and
does
something
because
it's
the
best
thing
for
me
to
do
in
my
own
highest
good.
That
isn't.
If
I
did,
I'd
be
doing
a
lot
better
than
what
I
am
in
every
area
of
my
life.
And
you're
the
same
way.
Go
into
your
own
experience
with
this
issue.
Take
any
area
of
your
life
how
to
surrender
ultimately
come
about
against
in
in
any
area.
How
does
it
come
about?
Because
you
wake
up
one
day
and
say,
because
you
have
moral
and
philosophical
convictions,
I'm
not
going
to
do
this
anymore
because
this
isn't
good
for
me.
No,
that
isn't
how
it
comes
about.
So
the
process
for
me
is
the
same.
It
is
for
any
other
person
that
I,
regardless
of
whatever
it
is
that
you're
ultimately
going
to
want
to
surrender
to,
if
you
want
to
surrender
to
it,
see
in
60
seconds
or
less.
What
were
they
talking
about
at
the
bedside?
You
know
what
bedside
he's
going
to
have.
I
don't
know
what
bedside
because
you
got
it.
Since
my
boys
are
over
here,
I.
I
don't
have,
I
don't
have
a
clue.
They
were
carrying
a
message.
I
mean,
that
picture
is
graphic
and
is,
I
mean,
what
a
great
photo
it
is.
You
know,
the
ones
we're
talking
about,
the,
the
portrait,
it's
the
man
on
the
bed,
the,
the,
the
alcoholic
who's
reads
that
point
of
surrender
and
them
having
the
message
carried
by
by
a
couple
of
cats
who
who
have
the
solution.
And
I
mean,
that's,
that's,
that's
it
in
a
picture.
That's
that's
that's
the
program
right
there.
If
that's
the
bedside
you're
referring
to,
it's
well
documented
in
our
history.
Bill
Wilson
and
Doctor
Bob
came
in.
They
that
picture
is
a
misnomer,
did
not
occur
at
the
bedside
like
that.
They
needed
a
place
to
put
the
guy
and
Doctor
Bob
was
a
doctor
in
the
hospital
and
he
said,
well,
there's
they
said
there's
no,
there's
no
private
rooms.
He
said
we
got
to
have
a
private
room.
So
the
nurses
cleaned
out
a
closet
and
they
wheeled
this
guy
into
a
closet
so
he'd
have
a
private
room.
And
Bill
and
Bob
show
up.
So
it's
really
not
in
like
looks
like
it's
in
a
giant
ward
or
they're
actually
working
in
a
closet
and
they're
in
there
and
they're
sitting
in
there
and
they're
talking
to
him
and
he
comes
out,
you
know,
and
in
those
days,
the
only
time
you
got
a
private
room
was
if
you
were
getting
the
last
rates
and
you're
about
to
die.
So
he
wakes
up
and
here's
these
two
guys
talking
to
him
about
his
drinking
and
he's
in
a
private
room.
And
you
know
what
he's
thinking,
all
right,
I've
done
it
this
time.
I'm
on
my
way
out,
I'm
checking
out.
So
now
they've
got
his
attention,
right?
God's
got
his
attention.
And
the
next
thing
you
know,
they
start
talking
about
his
story.
And
when
his
wife
comes
after
they've
left,
because
they
did,
that
was
their
first
visit,
right?
His
wife
comes.
He
says,
honey,
honey,
guess
what?
These
two
crazy
guys
were
here
and
they
understand,
right?
And
she's
like,
yeah,
he's
off
his
rockers.
He's
still
seeing
pink
elephants.
You
know,
she
thinks
he's
in
DTS.
And
then
Bill
Wilson
and
Bob
show
up
the
next
day.
She
happens
to
be
there.
And
he's
like,
hey,
honey,
these
are
the
guys
who
understand.
So
they
were
convincing
him.
They
were
hooking
him,
to
use
Chris's
term.
They
were
setting
the
hook.
And
they
had
him
from
that
point
forward.
You
know,
Mark,
can
you
talk
about
how
or
what
you
do
to
increase
your
willingness
to
stop
smoking,
knowing
it
goes
against
God's
will
for
you?
Isn't
it
great
Everybody
cares
so
much
about
Mark.
Houston
is
smoking.
How
do
you
know
it
goes
against
God's
will
for
me?
How
do
you
know
what
God's
will
for
me
is
very
good.
When
did
you
start
playing
God
in
my
life?
Now.
Now
we
could
play
with
this
and
say
what
character
was
that?
Just
said
that
but
but
but
the
point
needs
to
be
taken
real
clearly
because
the
bottom
line
how
many
times
have
I
spoken
from
the
podium
and
then
had
had
somebody
come
up
and
bust
my
chops
because
I
cussed
from
the
podium.
They
didn't
hear
a
thing
I
said
all
they
heard
was
the
cuss
and
it's
like
you
shouldn't
do
that.
Why
in
the
same
breath
in
the
same
breath,
how
many
people
have
I
bonded
with
because
they
could
finally
find
somebody
they
could
relate
to
that
was
cussing
from
the
podium?
You
know,
with
us,
I
mean
we
got
speakers
all
over
the
country
that
are
famous
that
cut
four
times
as
bad
as
I
ever
did.
But
there's
always
one
in
a
group
that'll
come
bust
my
chops
about
it.
You
know,
if
you
really
were,
you
know,
believed,
you
wouldn't
use
his
name
in
vain.
You
know
what?
In
every
crowd,
you
know,
I'm
just
busting
mark
up
here,
but
I
used
to
be
a
smoker
and
I
mean
there
was
a
time
in
my
life
where
you
know,
smoking
an
ounce
a
day
and
and
cutting
the
filters
off
of
Marlboros
2
packs.
You
know,
I
finally
got
to
a
point
where
I
heard
bad
enough
and
I
used
12
steps
and
I
have
not
touched
a
cigarette
since
that
day
of
any
kind.
And
it's
a
long
time,
you
know,
so
the
only
person
that
knows
whether
it's
God's
will
is
God.
And
Mark,
you
know,
we
can
play
with
it
if
if
it's
not
a
problem
for
him,
it's
not
a
problem
for
him,
you
know,
and
here's
you're
assuming
something.
You're
assuming
that
he's
an
addict
in
that
arena.
He
maybe
should
be
a
heavy
smoker.
What's
the
definition,
right?
What's
use
our
own
book.
He
may.
It
may
even
cause
him
to
lose
his
life
before
his
time.
But
if
it
doesn't
create
that
kind
of
unmanageability,
if
he's
not
powerless
over
it,
then
is
he
an
addict?
I
don't
know.
Only
he
can
diagnose
himself.
Mark.
What
prayer
or
spiritual
tools
should
one
use
when
in
the
midst
of
writing
that
third
column,
16
years
sober
and
the
urge
to
throw
the
pen
and
paper
across
the
room
is
greater
than
the
urge
to
follow
through
with
the
process?
I
sit
down
and
I
like
to
meditate
for
seven
to
10
minutes
before
I
write
and
then
read
from
the
ABC's
through
the
third
step
prayer.
And
you'll
get
taken
to
do
a
state
of
consciousness
to
write
and
the
writing
will
arise
from
within
you.
If
you
attempt
to
sit
down,
just
pick
up
a
pin
and
write.
You're
going
to
have
the
experience
that
you
just
read.
I
want
to
address
the
the
first
one
about
what
we
really
have
here
is
we
have
a
resentment,
it
says
toward
a
guy
who
raped
me.
I
want
to
say
three
things.
One,
I'd
like
to
talk
to
the
person,
not
tonight,
but
tomorrow.
Two,
if
a
woman
wrote
this,
find
a
woman,
write
a
four
column
inventory.
If
it's
a
man,
write
a
four
column
inventory.
Find
a
man
3.
There's
a
book
by
Tak
Nahan
called
Pieces
Every
Step
of
the
Way.
The
whole
last
chapter
of
this
book
is
devoted
to
this
very,
very
same
example.
I
think
there
was
a
baby
involved,
so
I
think
it
had
to
be
a
woman.
They
put,
oh,
yeah,
they
put
a
baby
up
for
Dodge.
Yeah.
The
resentment.
Yeah.
Toward
the
guy
who
raped
me.
So
those
are
the
three
things
to
do.
By
the
way,
my
initial
take
on
that
when
I
first
heard
it,
the
baby
is
drama.
The
baby
is
the
ego's
way
to
say,
look,
there
was
a
baby
involved.
What
does
that
invoke
in
us,
the
pure
little
2
year
old
child
we've
been
talking
about?
It's
not
about
the
baby.
It's
about
the
rape,
and
the
emotional
banker
is
not
willing
to
let
that
go.
I
know
a
guy
whose
daughter
got
molested.
Terrible,
atrocious
thing,
and
he
realized
that
in
his
heart
of
hearts,
he
did
everything.
The
hit
man
was
out
and
he
did
everything
in
his
power
to
make
that
guy's
life
an
absolute
living
hell.
He
put
all
kinds
of
harm
out
in
the
world
towards
that
guy
because
what
he
did
to
his
daughter,
he
is
a
freest
one
of
the
freest
men
I
know
today.
Why
he
went
and
made
amends
to
the
guy
that
raped
his
daughter?
Because
it
was
killing
him,
he
had
to
let
the
emotional
banker
free
from
prison
if
he
was
going
to
live.
I
got
another
friend
of
mine
who
ended
up
went
into
a
maximum
security
prison
to
make
amends
with
a
guy
he
thought
was
going
to
kill
him,
have
him
killed,
locked
him
in
the
room
and
made
amends
to
him.
And
they
said,
you
go
in
here,
you're
locked
in.
You
cannot
get
out
until
this
amount
of
time
because
this
is
a
lockdown.
You
go
in
there,
you're
going
to
be
in
there.
I
forget
what
it
was
an
hour,
two
hours.
And
he
had
to
sit
in
there
and
he
walked
home.
He
said
he
could
have
run
home
alongside
the
car.
He
was
that
high
from
that
immense.
You
have
to
face
your
fear
and
go
through
it
and
then
you
can
get
free.
If
you
don't,
it
will
kill
you.
Door
#1
door
#2
there
is
no
door
#3
live
spiritually
or
die
the
alcoholic
death.
And
we've
spent
this
entire
weekend
stealing.
We
are
robbers
up
here.
We
have
stolen
your
ability
to
sit
in
mediocrity
anymore.
We've
stolen
the
grace
of
ignorance
from
you.
Now
you
know
the
truth.
And
guess
what,
folks?
You're
either
going
to
live
spiritually
or
you
were
going
to
die
a
very
rapid.
You're
going
to
get
sicker
than
if
you
never
came
to
this
conference.
The
balls
in
your
court.
How
much
do
you
want
this?
Because
it's
for
people
that
want
it,
not
for
people
that
need
it
real
quick.
This
is
not
about
right
or
wrong
in
that
kind
of
situation,
of
course,
because
there's
there's
no
right
to
that.
But
it
is
about
mercy
and
and
it's
about,
I
tell
you
just
before
everybody
expires
from
frostbite
in,
in
Texas
in,
in
Texas
a
couple
years
ago,
we
we
had
a
a
very
tragic
crime
that
was
committed
there.
There
was
a
a
black
man
who
was
who
was
drugged
to
death
over
in
East
Texas.
And
and
it
was
AI
mean.
It
was
just
horrible.
And
it
was
a
covered
in
all
the
press
there
in
Texas,
and
I'm
sure
everybody
in
the
country
had
picked
it
up
on
the
wire.
But
the
the
pictures
that
stick
out
in
my
mind
are
not
the
screaming
people
calling
for
justice
because
that's
just
goes
with
the
territory.
What
sticks
in
my
mind
is
Mr.
Byrd,
the
gentleman
that
was
killed.
His
mother
was
in
the
courtroom
as
they
passed
sentence
to
the
the
two
morons
that
did
it.
As
they
gave
them
the
death
sentence,
Mrs.
Bird
got
up
and
she
was
a
big,
huge
woman
and
she
got
up
out
of
her
chair
and
went
over
to
the
parents
of
the
people
that
had
killed
her
son
and
put
her
big
arms
around
those
people
and
and
showed
them
love
and
compassion.
And
I'm
going
to
tell
you,
I'm
not
coming
from
any
spiritual
mountain
top
because
I
can't.
I
mean,
it's
hard
for
me
to
fathom
that
kind
of
love,
but
that's
what
this
is
about.
It's
not
condoning
or
justifying
what
happened.
It's
understanding
that
there's
not
one
of
us
in
this
room
that
has
the
right
under
any
circumstance
to
point
a
finger
at
somebody
else
and
say
you
did
wrong.
I
mean,
one
of
the
freedoms
of
this
program
was
that
I
got
to
a
place
where
I
could
stop
judging
the
world.
God
is
my
judge.
I
said
it
when
I
spoke
from
the
podium
tonight.
If
this
program
was
about
justice,
I'd
have
been
dead
a
long
time
ago
for
the
damage
that
I
did
other
people
and
the
harm
that
I
created.
Inadvertent
harm,
just
verbally
hurt
people
that
I
could
never
repay
or
repair.
And,
and
I'm
going
to
sit
here
and
judge
somebody
and
point
a
finger.
We
all
get
out
of
the
judging
place
with
courage.
Get
past
the
hurt.
You
ain't
going
to
do
it
by
yourself.
You're
going
to
do
it
sitting
in
a
fellowship
of
people
like
just
like
this
and
get
taken
to
a
place
where
we
can
grant
these
people
mercy.
That's
freedom.
That's
freedom.
That's
where
I
want
to
stay.
You
take
the
central
nervous
system,
put
it
to
sleep
with
alcohol
and
look
what
happens.
They
estimate
that
over
80%
of
the
people
that
are
in
prison
did
it
under
the
influence.
Whatever
it
is,
25%
of
the
people,
it
depends
on
the
numbers
you
look
at,
have
absolutely
no
recollection
for
what
they
did.
They
were
asleep.
I
sit
before.
You
am
capable
of
rape.
Rape
is
an
act
of
violence.
It's
not
a
sexual
act,
right?
Just
God's
grace
that
I'd
never
rape
a
woman.
I
sure
as
hell
was
angry
enough.
Violence
is
a
huge
part
of
my
past.
You
know,
I
could
have
very
easily
molested
a
child.
Distorted
night,
Who
knows?
Put
my
central
nervous
system
to
sleep.
I
could
do
almost
anything.
Murder.
I
used
to
think
I'd
be
the
perfect
hit
man
because
I
had
no
emotions.
I
thought
inside
I
was
dying
and
I
was
submarine
and
so
bad
with
drugs,
trying
to
keep
that
down
because
I
cared
deeply,
passionately.
You've
heard
me
talk
about
how
I
feel
about
love,
yet
in
my
mind
I
deluded
myself
to
think
I'd
be
a
hit
man,
be
a
great
career
field
for
me
because
I'm
smart
enough
that
I
wouldn't
get
caught.
You
know?
Who
the
hell
am
I
to
judge?
I
sure
as
hell
hope
people
don't
judge
me
because
my
feet
are
clay
and
I'm
still
screwing
up
in
a
A,
but
I
got
12
steps
to
clean
that
stuff
up
and
try
to
walk
as
a
child
of
God
and
do
service
work.
I
think
that's
all
folks.
Let's
close
for
the
evening
and
smoke
them
if
you
got
them.
Name
is
Mark
and
I
am
an
alcoholic.
It's
good
to
be
with
you
all
this
Sunday.
Sunday
mornings
are
always
interesting
there.
What
always
happens
when
I
come
to
these
and
Sunday
mornings
is
what
happens
when
I
get
asked
to
take
people
through
the
work
is
you
get
a
lot
of
drop
off.
You
get
a
lot
of
dropout,
though.
If
spiritual
living
was
easy,
like
I
said,
we'd
be
doing
this
in
Shea
Stadium.
So
you,
you
know,
each
and
every
one
of
us
has
to
make
some
decisions
about
that,
that
kind
of
a
deal.
Like
a
few
thoughts
came
to
me
last
night.
First
of
all,
the
questions
were
all
good
questions,
wanted
you
to
know
that,
but
I
guess
these
would
be
some
just
some
simple
instructions
and
that
is
that
there
was
a
slogan
I
would
add
to
a
a
it
would
be
the
Nike
one.
Just
do
it,
you
know.
Don't
ever
let
anyone
read
your
big
book
for
you.
Follow
the
course
of
action
you
then
you'll
have
the
experience.
This
was
a
long
time
for
me
to
understand
the
experience
of
the
experience
is
more
important
than
the
explanation
of
the
experience.
So,
you
know,
again,
what
I'll
say
to
each
and
every
one
of
you
is
just
do
it
and
then
you'll
have
the
experience
and
then
you
won't
have
a
necessity
to
ask
the
question.
That's
the
that's
the
biggest
deal.
Some
of
what
we're
going
to
talk
about
today
is,
well,
how
do
I
get
the
power
to,
to
do
those
things?
How
do
I
get
the
and
I'm
going
to
talk
a
lot
about
disciplines
because
discipline
is
the
horse
I
ride.
Spiritual
practice
is
spiritual
disciplines.
I
I've
been
asked
to
do
some
of
these
at
monasteries
and
I
always
find
I
find
it
so
interesting
because
every
time
I've
gone
and
done
one
of
these
in
a
monastery,
the
very
solution
to
to
every
question
I've
ever
been
asked.
They
role
model
in
the
monasteries.
Meaning
how
many
of
you
have
gone
to
retreated
a
monastery
before?
OK,
most
of
you
you've
you
if
that's
the
case,
then
you've
observed
some
things.
They
do
everything
at
the
same
time
every
day,
all
year
long.
They
pray
at
the
same
time,
they
eat
at
the
same
time.
They
and
that,
that,
that
could
lead
to
a
question,
which
is
well,
why
do
they
do
that?
Well,
if
you
read
much
about
people
who
are
responsible
for
monasticism,
they
begin
to
realize
the
of
human
nature,
things
like
sloth
and
things
like
that.
And
so
part
of
the
way
the
monasteries
were
set
up,
they
were
set
up
to
do
things
at
specific
times,
at
all
times.
So
that
when
some
of
this
human
nature
like
sloth
and
lack
of
discipline
came
up,
they,
they,
it
became
such
a
habit
to
them
that
they
would
go
do
it
in
spite
of
themselves.
And
that
is
exactly
my
experience
with
with
the
steps
as
outlined
in
the
book
The
Course
of
Action.
That
is
exactly
my
experience
with
the
disciplines
of
10/11
that
we
will
ultimately
get
to.
When
I
made
a
commitment
to
this
way
of
life,
being
an
athlete
has
stood
me
in
good
stead
because
I
knew
being
an
athlete,
if
I
only
worked
out
two
times
a
week,
that
wasn't
going
to
do
it.
So
I
took
that
practice
that
I
had,
if
you
will,
and
I
applied
it
to
this
and,
and
I
for
me,
I
started,
I
like
to
get
up
early,
I
always
have.
And
I
begin
to
get
up
religiously
Monday
through
Friday,
5:00
AM.
Saturday
and
Sunday,
6:00
AM
at
the
latest.
And
I
continue
to
do
that
today.
And
though
I
made
that
commitment,
I
made
a
commitment
that
I
would
do
it
every
day
when
I
begin
to
work
with
meditation,
I
used
a
timer
and
and
why
did
I
use
the
timer?
Because
it
imposed
discipline
on
myself.
And
my
commitment
was
when
I
started
meditation,
which
was
very
difficult
for
me
is
I'm
going
to
sit
here
for
2
minutes
if
it
or
10
minutes
if
it
kills
me.
And
I
wouldn't
leave
till
the
timer
went
off.
And
as
I
begin
to
do
these
things,
what
started
to
happen
in
my
life
was
pretty
soon
then
they
became
a
habit.
Pretty
soon
it
was
autopilot.
Pretty
soon
I
was
waking
up
a
little
before
5:00
every
morning,
seven
days
a
week.
And,
and
all
I
know
is
I
wake
up
and,
and
I
begin
this
routine
just
like
they
do
in,
in
monasteries.
But
that's
why
I
use
the
term
that
discipline
is
the
horse
that
I
ride.
Discipline
is
the
vehicle
that
you
use
to
overcome
your
ego,
which
really
is
designed
for
the
most
part
to
be
slothful,
lazy,
want
somebody
to
clean
up
after
them,
doesn't
want
to
do
anything.
We
all
have
that
in
US.
So
the
tool
that
that
has
helped
me
tremendously
with
that
is
is
again,
been
disciplined
discipline
to
me,
you
know,
with
the
the
the
name,
when
you
bring
it
up
to
a
lot
of
drunks,
they
they
recoil
us
from
a
hot
flame.
But
it
it
was
the
tool
I
used
to
to
do
some
things.
There's
a
great
book
I
was
just
telling
Mike
that
helped
me
a
lot
with
this
by
a
man
named
Stuart
Wilde
called
The
Infinite
Self
33
Steps
to
Reclaiming
Your
Life.
At
least
half
of
that
book
is
devoted
to
disciplines.
Nutritional
disciplines,
physical
disciplines,
spiritual
disciplines,
mental
disciplines,
emotional
disciplines.
I
like
this
guy
'cause
he
he's
the
one
that
says
if
you
can't
explain
your
spirituality
in
less
than
about
10
seconds,
you
might
want
to
consider
getting
another
one.
It's,
it's
so
simple
and,
and
direct
into,
into
the
point.
And
he
will
give
you
exercises
in
there.
See,
the
ego
hates
change.
One
of
the
exercises
that
I
like
to
give
people
to
show
them
about
this
is,
is
I'll
ask
him
to
drive
to
work
a
different
way
every
day
for
a
week.
And
by
the
third
day,
they
call
me
Batty
because
they
don't
want
to
do
it.
Or
a
simple
exercise.
If
you
brush
your
teeth
with
your
right
hand
for
a
week,
brush
with
the
left,
you
won't
believe
what
your
mind
says
to
you.
You
just
you
won't
believe
it.
And
in
other
words,
the
point
that
I'm
trying
to
make
is
we've
gone
through
life
asleep
on
and
we
have
all
these
incredible
habits,
none
of
which
are
designed
to
help
me
grow
spiritually.
You
understand?
So
that
that
is
a
book
that
you
may
find
helpful
to
me.
That
whole
book
spoke
to
me
about
the
10th
and
11th
step.
But
so,
you
know,
again,
what
were
some
of
the
things
I
wanted
to
share?
Just
do
it
#2
don't
let
anyone
read
your
big
book
for
you.
The
answer
is
in
the
big
book.
Like
Dave
has
already
said,
don't
ever
confuse
the
messenger
with
the
message.
Don't
ever,
don't
ever
do
that.
Um,
worship
that
to
which
the
steps
point
you.
That's
what
we
worship.
The
rest
we
enjoy
and
we
experience,
if
you
will.
Don't
attach
necessarily
to
to
anyone
person
and
or
thing
because
it
will
become
a
barrier
in
and
of
itself.
In
other
words,
for
example,
meditation.
You
know,
there's
meditation
masters
and
I'm
looking
for
techniques
to
allow
me
experience
to
that,
to
which
all
this
points,
if
you
will.
But
I
do
not
attach
to
any
of
that.
I'm
not
attached
to
the
donkey
that
we
ride
in
a
a
I'm
not
attached
to
any
particular
meditation
practice,
those
kinds
of
things.
I'm
not
attached
to
any,
to
any
particular
book.
So
again,
just
do
it
#2
you
are
responsible
for
your
life.
You
get
to
decide
how
much
of
this
you
want.
Don't
let
anyone
read
your
big
book
for
you.
If
they
tell
you
to
do
something
that's
not
in
the
big
book,
at
least
have
enough
knowledge
of
the
big
book
to
know
whether
or
not
you
want
to
do
that.
Four,
be
open
minded.
You
know,
the
book
says,
be
quick
to
see
where
religious
people
are,
right?
There's
incredible
stuff
out
there.
A
A
is
kindergarten
when
it
comes
to
spiritual
living.
It's
kindergarten
stuff.
You
want
to
learn
about
meditation.
You
spend
some
time,
for
example,
with
the
gentleman
that
Bart
brought
in
here
this
morning
who's
been
falling
that
way
of
life,
I
think
60
plus
years.
You're
not
going
to
find
that
in
a
A.
You
want
to
learn
about
meditation.
Find
someone
who's
been
meditating
30
years
and
you
ask
him
a
simple
question,
which
is
in
her
book,
What
do
I
have
to
do?
And
they'll
tell
you.
And
then
then
you
leave
and
go
do
it.
But
we
see
we
don't
want
that.
We,
we
want
some
answer
in
instantaneous
effect.
Well,
that
that
just
isn't,
that
just
isn't
how
it
works.
But
there's
incredible
exciting
stuff
out
there
that
you
can
get
a,
a
handle
on,
whether
it's
meditation
or,
or
I
know
a
lot
of
people
have
been
getting
into
Native
American
spirituality.
I
did
that
for
two
years.
It's
just
incredible.
Great
stuff
out
there
that
you
can
do
along
with
your
A,
A
path.
See,
I
came
to
know
God
through
the
steps
of
Alcoholics
Anonymous
or
the
Great
I
am
or
Goddess
or
whatever
name
you
all
want
to
use.
I'm
happy
to
use
yours.
That
was
the
vehicle.
And
several
years
ago
I
read
something
that
has
never
left
me
and
here's
what
it
said.
It
said
the
methodology
that
took
you
to
God.
Always
stay
true
to
that
methodology.
You
don't
need
to
go
find
another
one.
Now
when
we
get
to
the
11th
step,
I'm
going
to
talk
with
you
about
some
11
step
step.
I
do.
I
do
it
along
with
that
took
me
to
God.
I
do
not
do
it
instead
of
I
have
been
I
haven't
been
around
very
long,
but
I've
been
around
long
enough.
I
cannot
tell
you
the
number
of
people
that
have
drank
when
they
get
to
the
11th
step
and
and
they
get
out
here
and
all
of
a
sudden
that
which
got
him
to
the
11th
step
is
insufficient,
is
boring.
Is
they're
going
to
evolve
now
going
to
evolve
right
out
of
a
A
in
my
experience
is
into
a
glass
of
whiskey.
Seen
it
happen
numerous
times.
Got
to
be
careful
at
the
11
step.
So
you're
talking
about
real
power,
Real
power
here.
I've
seen
people
get
caught
up
in
spiritual
intoxication.
I
I've
seen
people,
some
of
them
long
time
sober
with
a
lot
of
work
with
the
steps,
say
things
like
this
through
meditation.
In
this
process,
my
DNA
has
been
altered
and
I
now
no
longer
have
the
phenomenon
called
gravy.
Yeah,
yeah,
we're
laughing.
Guess
what?
It's
real
stuff.
It
happens.
You
you
see
it.
So
I
remain
a
a
fundamental
orthodox
member
of
Alcoholics
Anonymous.
I
remain
a
basics
out
of
the
out
of
the
big
book
stuff.
If
I,
you
know,
if
they
got
a
sentence
in
here
and
if
I
kind
of
gone
off
here
at
times,
well,
of
course,
but
I
always
come
back
to
that
which
took
me
to
which
the
book
is
pointing.
See,
remember
I
told
you
yesterday,
don't
get
hung
up
in
the
word
God.
The
goal
is
to
experience
that
to
which
the
word
is
trying
to
point
you
to.
So
those
are
just
some
guidelines.
Quit
trying
to
get
the
answers
to
all
these
incredible
questions
that
you
have
you
an
exercise
I
give
people
sometimes
I
work
with
is
I'll
say
in
the
next
month,
I
want
you
to
find
God
in
the
pots
and
pans
because
they're
standing.
I
won't
tell
you
what
their
standard
response
is
initially,
but
I,
I
just
say
to
him,
I
want
you
to
find
God
in
the
pots
and
pans.
And
I
will
not
talk
about
this
till
the
end
of
the
month.
And
in
every
situation
they
come
back
to
me
and
they
have
the
same
experience
I
did.
We
must
find
God
in
our
dull
Monday
repetitive
lives.
See,
I,
I,
I,
you
know,
I
go
to
bed,
my
alarm
clock
goes
up
in,
in,
in,
in
my
home
and
you
know,
it's,
and
I
get
up
and
I,
and
I
do
this
thing
and
get
off
my
computer
a
little
bit.
And
then
I
go
to
the
gym
and,
and
I
work
out
the
gym
and
then
I
run
by
Starbucks
and
then
I
drive
out
to
the,
to
the
ranch,
you
know,
and
then
I
interact
with
these
crazy
Alcoholics
and
drug
addicts
and,
you
know,
and
I
go
back
at
night
and
I
go
to
a
meeting
and
then
I
go
home
and
I
watch
a
little
TV,
see,
and,
and
I
need
to
find
God
in
the
pots
and
pans.
I
need
to
find
God
right
in
the
middle
of
my
dull,
mundane,
repetitive
life.
You
know
there's
that's
one
of
the
things
I
would
hope
you
would
all
remember
the
effect
produced
by
alcohol.
I,
I
want
to
go
to
Shea's
tranium
and
just
float
out
of
there
or
something.
I,
you
know,
I,
I
used,
I
had
these
crazy
ideas,
I
guess.
Well,
I'll
go
to
this
monastery
and
I'll,
you
know,
then
one
day
I
realized,
Mark,
if,
if
I
can't
experience,
if
I
can't
have
conscious
contact
where
I'm
at.
You
know
what?
You're
doing
the
same
thing
you've
always
done.
You're,
you're
seeking
that
which
you've
already
found,
you
know,
just
be
aware
of
that
which
you've
already
found
and
exists
within
you.
So
those
are
just
some,
some
simple
things.
I
guess
one
last
thing,
and
I'll
flip
this
back
over
to
Dave
is
but
we're
so
hard
on
ourselves,
you
know,
take
a
chill
pill,
relax
and
take
it
easy
you.
There's
hardly
anyone
who
became
lightened
or
enlightened
overnight.
The
something
that
has
helped
me
so
much.
I
told
you
this
yesterday,
which
is
if
I
practice
today,
I've
won.
If
I
don't,
I've
lost.
I
just
have
to
keep
it
at
that
level
to
use
clock
time.
You
know,
today's
Sunday,
it's
according
to
my
watch,
probably
about
9:23.
It's
in
July.
It's
2001.
Hey,
when
that's
it,
when
there's
nothing
else,
there's
nowhere
to
go.
There's
this
is
where
I'm
at.
This
is
where
I'm
going
to
live
my
life.
This
is
where
I'm
going
to
do
this
deal
and
you
know,
keep
it
down
to
keep
it
down
to
that
simplistic
thing.
Assume
the
responsibility
that
you
get
to
decide
how
much
of
this
thing
that
you
want.
No
one,
no
one
can
do
that
for
you.
I,
I
think,
you
know,
one
of
the
things
I
said
earlier
was
that
I
think
David
Eisper
was
that
some
of
you
would
leave
here
with
maybe
a
little
more
fire
and
passion
to
know
more
of
God.
And
that's
really
all
this
is
about.
He,
as
I
told
you
earlier,
he
and
I
are
here
to
bear
witness
of
God's
power,
God's
love,
and
God's
way
of
life
in
our
life
and,
and
nothing
more
than
that.
Dave
and
I
don't
have
any
answers.
You
know,
I
always
laugh
about
this.
Anyone
in
a
A
that
you
might,
because
we've
all
had
teachers
in
AA
and
stuff
and
you
if
you're
fortunate
enough
to
listen
to
their
fifth
step,
that
is
always
a
great
thing
because
any
illusions
you
have
that
they're
enlightened
quickly
or
dissipated.
See,
Dave
and
I
are
just
two
drunks
up
here
and
and
we
have
a
passion
and
we
have
a
love
and
see
we're
not
even
responsible
for
that.
I'm
not
responsible
for
this
incredible
love
of
God
that
I
have
in
my
heart.
I'm
not
responsible
for
any
of
that.
I'm
not
responsible
for
that
part
of
me
that
has
just
had
me
devour
this
program
or
that
part
of
me
that's
had
me
devour
books
or
go
hear
or
seek
this
person.
I'm
not
responsible
for
any
of
that.
All
of
that
is
a
gift
too.
Or
what
I
am
was
a
a
drunk
who
who
could
not
not
drink,
who
was
a
tornado
in
the
lives
of
others,
who
was
almost
dead
when
he
came
to
you.
I
truly
do
nothing
on
my
own.
I
never
have.
I
only
lived
in
the
delusion
that
I
had
any
sense
of
power
whatsoever.
So,
but
keep
the
thing,
keep
the
things
simple.
You
know,
I
don't
know
why
it
is
we
we
want
to
make
this
thing
so
complex.
This
the
big
book,
what
I
think
is
incredible,
having
done
a
lot
of
reading,
because
after
all,
I'm
going
to
read
myself
into
enlightenment,
but
is
I
don't
think
I
have
ever
seen
such
a
simple
practical
way
to
have
a
revolutionary
spiritual
experiences
outlined
in
the
book.
And
I
mean,
I've
read
a
lot
of
stuff.
We
it's,
it's
just
too
simple.
It's
like,
well,
you've
got
these
first
reconsiderations.
You're
going
to
write
these
three
inventories,
do
a
fifth
step
6-7.
You're
going
to
go
clean
this
stuff
up.
And
then
you're
going
to
start
working
with
disciplines
and
meditation
and
help
others.
It's
like
what?
And
it,
it
is
so
clear.
I
mean,
look
at
if
you
look
at
a
lot
of
the
other
religions
and
we
have
been
given
such
an
incredible
gift,
just
a
simple,
precise
path
and
you
do
this
thing
and
it's
like,
you
know,
so
don't,
don't
complicate
the
thing
too
much.
That's
all
I
got
for
now,
Dave.
Thanks,
Mark.
Good
morning.
I'm
David.
I'm
alcoholic
to
follow
on
with
Mark
was
talking
about
I
think
in
the
very
beginning,
it
was
kind
of
flipped
to
me
when
I
heard
it
the
first
time.
But
the
longer
I'm
sober,
the
meaning
has
changed.
When
Doctor
Bob
said
this
whole
thing
can
be
boiled
down
to
love
and
service,
you
know,
trust
God,
clean
house,
help
others.
That's
how
simple
this
deal
is.
It
really
is
that
simple
and
it's
a
it's
a
gift.
Couple
thoughts
that
I
had
last
night.
Was
pretty
tired
when
I
got
back
to
the
hotel
room
and
I
had
to
get
on
the
Internet
to
look
at
my
e-mail
for
something
I
have
to
give
to
Mark
today.
I
needed
a
date
that
was
in
one
of
the
emails
and
a
friend
of
mine,
Toto,
she
logged
on
and
said,
hey,
how's
your
workshop
going?
And
I
sent
back
an
e-mail
to
her,
you
know,
the
instant
messaging
and
I
said,
it's
indescribable.
I
don't
know
about
you
guys.
I've
been
to
a
number
of
workshops.
I've
participated
in
a
number
of
workshops.
I
have
never
felt
the
stuff
that
I
felt.
There's
a
magic
here
with
this
spiritual
body.
And
I'm
tremendously
grateful
in
my
heart
for
you
guys.
This
has
been
a
true
gift
for
me.
And
I
mean,
how
do
you
describe
that?
And
it
became
almost
instantly
clear.
I
could
hear
Mark's
voice
running
through
my
head
saying
don't
piss
all
over
your
experience.
You
know,
we
are
sharing
something
here.
And
when
somebody
asked
you
how
it
was,
you
say
you
just
tell
them
it
was
indescribable,
you
know?
And
because
your
words
aren't
going
to
do
it
justice,
enjoy
what
you're
experiencing.
If
you're
having
a
shift
of
consciousness,
if
you're
having
a
change,
revel
in
it.
Enjoy
it,
just
feel
it,
embody
it
every
SEC
as
yet
that
you're
in
the
moment.
You're
connected
to
God.
When
you're
doing
that,
As
soon
as
you
try
to
put
words
to
it,
you're
not
going
to
do
it
justice.
As
soon
as
you
try
to
put
words
to
God,
you
can't
describe
God
with
words.
It's
an
experience,
it's
a
neat
thing.
Secondly,
we
get
some
more
copies
of
steel
on
steel
format,
which
are
up
here.
There's
12
concepts
in
relationships,
12
traditions
and
relationships,
which
I
did
not.
I
purposely
left
out
of
my
meditation
this
morning
and
I
wanted
to
read
that
to
the
group.
Just
because
people
are
going
to
buy
this
tape
and
they're
going
to
be
off
someplace
and
they're
not
going
to
have
the
handouts,
the
packets.
So
at
least
this
way
they
can
understand
what
what
they
are.
So
I
wanted
to,
I
want
to
cover
that.
We're
going
to
be,
I
know
there's
a
lot
of
people
want
to
be
leaving.
So
if
it
seems
like
we
pick
up
the
pace
a
little
bit
today,
it's
because
we're
going
to
pick
up
the
pace.
You
know,
we
haven't
even
finished
the
5th
step,
but
that's
the
way
A
goes.
It
takes
a
while.
It
takes
a
while
to
get
through
your
four
step
and
the
next
thing
you
know,
if
you
do
this
program
right,
from
my
experience,
you
fist
up
678I.
I
normally
give
guys
30
minutes
to
do
6:00
and
7:00.
You're
spending
more
than
30
minutes
on
six
and
seven.
Something's
wrong.
You
know
now,
now
that
I'm
long
term
sober,
I
do
six
and
seven
and
30
minutes
and
I
move
on.
Make
my
eight
step
list.
I
have
my
First
Amendment.
I'm
ready
to
go
make
my
first
amend.
I
will
make
more
time
and
I
will
go
back
to
six
and
seven
and
sit
with
it
longer
and
use
some
other
techniques
which
aren't
in
the
big
book.
I'll
go
through
the
sacrament
of
penance
and
that
that'll
take
me
three
or
four
days
to
do
that.
You
know,
in
my
morning
meditation
I'll
spend
1/2
an
hour
a
day
or
so
going
through
to
really
drive
that
home.
But
to
actually
do
the
six
and
seven
and
offer
that
stuff
to
God
and
move
on,
it
goes
pretty
quick.
And
then
1011,
we're
going
to
slow
down
for
that.
And
because
there's
a
that's
the
meat
of
this
deal.
It's
1011.
And
one,
one
thing
I
want
to
do
is
most,
most
workshops
I've
been
at,
you
go
through
and,
and
you
get
to
12
and
they're
basically
out
of
time
and
everybody
goes,
well,
you
know
how
to
do
it.
It's
in
chapter
working
with
others
and
they
move
on
because
of
that.
In
the
guides,
I
threw
in
some
experience,
my
own
personal
12
step
experience
because
I
don't
know
what's
going
on
down
in
Texas.
But
what's
going
on
in
in
North
Jersey
is
insurance
companies
have
stopped
paying
for
rehabs
majority
wise.
And
since
the
insurance
money's
dried
up,
the
detoxes
are
drying
up.
We're
down
to
two
detoxes
in
all
of
North
Jersey.
So
the
12
step
call
is
falling
back
in
our
laps
and
nobody's
teaching
12
step
calls.
So
we
need
to
talk
about
the
practicalities
of
how
do
you
get
a
wet
drunk
into
sobriety
without
killing
them
because
alcoholism
is
is
fatal
through
the
detox.
Very
often
very
high
percentage
of
Alcoholics
detoxing,
if
you
don't
know
how
to
do
it,
you'll
kill
somebody
literally.
So
I
think
we
should
talk
about
that
before
we
get
out
of
here
tonight.
But
back
to
the
question
that
somebody
asked
last
night
about
traditions
and
relationships.
These
are
a
modification.
They
the
1st
place
I
heard
practice
in
the
traditions
and
relationships
was
from
a
Lady
by
Mary
Pearl.
She
described
her
group
down
in
Arkansas
that
their
group
put
together
these
this
deal
and
they
started
to
write
how
to
apply
the
traditions
in
your
relationships.
And
then
I
brought
it
home
to
my
wife
and
we
added
our
experience
from
our
relationship
experience
to
it.
And
so
if
you
know
what
the
traditions
are,
these
will
sound
familiar
to
you.
Hopefully
one
our
common
welfare
should
come
first.
A
healthy
relationship
depends
upon
unity.
Two,
for
our
family
or
relationship
purpose
there
is
but
one
ultimate
authority,
a
loving
God
as
he
may
express
himself
in
our
informed
family
conscience.
Each
member
is
God's
trusted
servant
and
no
one
governs.
3
Two
or
more
persons,
when
gathered
together
for
mutual
benefit,
can
call
themselves
a
relationship.
The
only
basic
requirement
for
a
good
marriage
or
relationship
are
mutual
desire
to
be
in
the
relationship
and
a
willingness
to
make
the
relationship
work
for
each
partner
should
be
autonomous
except
in
matters
affecting
other
partner
or
the
family
or
society
as
a
whole.
Five.
Each
marriage
or
relationship
has
but
one
primary
purpose,
to
serve
as
an
expression
of
God
S
love.
And
how
cool
is
that?
The
whole
purpose
of
my
family
is
to
express
God
S
love
to
everybody
and
everything.
6A
Partner
ought
never
be
overly
supportive
spiritually,
emotionally,
or
physically
to
the
marriage
or
relationship.
Less
problems
of
ego
or
gratification
divert
us
from
our
primary
purpose.
7
Each
partner
ought
to
strive
to
be
fully
self
supporting
physically,
emotionally,
and
spiritually.
8
Our
marriage
or
relationships
should
remain
forever
free,
giving
relationship
one
to
the
other.
In
a
healthy
relationship,
we
do
not
keep
score.
Let
me
stop
right
there
on
this
one,
guys.
We
have
a
different
score
system
than
women.
All
right,
If
I
bring
home
my
wife
a
candy
bar,
in
my
mind
that's
one
point.
If
I
bring
her
home
a
diamond
watch,
that's
10,000
points.
All
right,
now
let
me
save
you
all
a
lot
of
trouble
in
a
relationship.
Here's
the
scoring
system
to
a
woman,
you
bring
her
home
a
candy
bar.
One
point.
You
bring
her
home
a
diamond
watch,
one
point.
You
write
her
a
love
note,
one
point.
You
bring
her
home
a
dozen
red
roses.
One
point.
All
right.
So
it's
not
the
value
of
the
object.
It's
an
expression
of
love,
you
know.
So
what
do
I
do
in
my
relationship
with
my
wife?
I
write
love
notes.
I
leave
little
love
notes.
Before
I
came
out
here
this
weekend,
my
wife's
a
chocoholic,
right?
When
I
go
over
to
London,
I
buy
Toe
Marones,
the
little
baby
Toblerones.
And
so
I
wrote
a
little
love
note
to
my
wife
and
put
a
Tumblr
own
underneath
her
covers
so
when
she
climbed
in
bed
that
night,
she
would
find
the
Toblerone
that
took
another
Toblerone,
another
love
note,
and
stuck
it
in
her
underwear.
So
when
she
went
in
the
next
morning
to
get
up,
she
would
find
another
one
in
her
underwear.
All
right,
I
did
the
same
thing
for
my
kids.
Each
of
my
children,
when
they
climbed
into
their
bed,
hit
a
love
note
and
a
toe.
Marone
That's
what
practice
in
these
principles
means,
getting
out
of
yourself
to
show
love
to
somebody
else.
If
you
can't
do
it
to
your
family,
who
can
you
do
it
with?
Simple,
simple
little
stuff,
you
know,
calling
up
just
to
say,
hey,
I
love
you.
I
do
5I
call
it
ludicrous
acts
of
love,
you
know,
just
random
acts
of
love.
She'll
be
walking,
you
know,
she'll
be
heading
for
the
laundry
room.
And
I
know
she's
heading
for
the
laundry
room
and
I'll
walk
and
I'll
step
right
in
her
path
and
I'll
just
throw
my
arms
around
and
give
her
a
hug.
It
won't
say
a
word.
And
now
she
knows
enough
to
say,
what
are
you
doing?
She
just
she'll
just
reciprocate
and
then
off
she
goes.
I
got
sober
with
a
just
today
card.
You
hardly
ever
see
just
for
today
cards
anymore.
You
know
who
prints
them
now,
Alan
on
most
a
A
groups
have
stopped
printing
the
nearing
things,
right?
It
used
to
be
printed
by
local
intergroups
around
here.
And
there's
a
whole
series
of
things
you
should
do
just
for
today.
And
one
of
the
things
that
that
I
still
do
to
this
day
is
you
do
two
things
a
day
that
you
don't
want
to
do
just
for
the
practice.
You
do
one
thing
a
day
that
if
it
gets
found
out,
it
doesn't
count
because
Alcoholics
always
want
to
take
the
credit
for
it.
That's
why
I
couldn't
tell
you
about
the
candy
bars
and
stuff
two
days
ago,
because
that
was
something
that
if
it
got
found
out
by
you
guys,
it
wouldn't
have
counted.
I
had
to
keep
that
in
my
heart
and
I
couldn't
talk
to
my
family
about
it
until
that
I
already
expressed
it.
So
the
bullet
had
to
be
out
of
the
barrel
because
my
ego
will
manipulate
that.
Anyway,
I
got
off
on
a
tangent.
Let's
see,
let's
see,
we
don't
keep
score.
That's
number
8
#9
a
family
or
relationship
should
be
pliable
in
its
organization,
but
our
group
conscience
may
appoint
certain
persons
to
serve
various
functions
and
be
directly
responsible
to
those
they
serve.
Just
'cause
I'm
the
father
in
the
household
doesn't
mean
I'm
the
boss,
all
right?
It's
an
elected
position.
They
can
vote
me
out
if
they
want.
10A
relationship
should
avoid
heated
controversy.
What
does
it
say
in
her
big
book?
Each
member
of
the
relationship
should
be
only
too
glad
to
say,
honey,
this
is
getting
heated.
Let's
talk
about
it
later.
How
many
in
this
room
have
ever
done
that?
You
know,
everybody
in
the
room
should
have
their
hands
up
on
that
one
instead
of
knock
down
drag
outs.
Just
say
if
you're
awake,
oh,
this
is
getting
I
can't
do
this
right
now.
I'll
talk
to
you.
I
love
you.
Talk
to
you
later
and
remove
yourself.
Come
back
when
you're
calm.
Write
the
inventory.
Talk
to
your
sponsor.
5th
step
it.
Come
on
back
11
Each
partner
best
conveys
his
or
her
beliefs
in
philosophy
by
attraction
rather
than
promotion.
Anonymity
is
a
valuable
asset
to
the
marriage
or
relationship.
Important
stuff.
Just
because
you're
an
alcoholic,
you
need
a
12
step
doesn't
mean
you
can
run
around
tell
everybody
you're
alcoholic.
I
live
literally
live
next
door
to
a
church.
Every
time
they
get
a
new
minister
at
the
church,
I
go
to
my
wife
and
say,
honey,
this
may
be
a
potential
12
step
call.
Is
it
all
right
with
you
if
I
break
my
anonymity
to
the
minister?
If
she
says
no,
I
don't.
If
she
says
yes,
then
I
go
over
it
and
I
say,
can
I
have
a
conversation
with
you?
And
I
go
into
his
office
and
I
let
him
know
that
I'm
an
alcoholic.
I've
been
in
recovery
for
this
long
if
he
has
anybody.
Parish
that
may
need
help.
Feel
free
to
give
him
my
name
and
number.
How
do
you
get
12
step
calls?
I
have
I
know
people
that
are
30
years
sober.
They
don't
know
how
to
find
a
12
step
call.
It's
because
nobody
knows
how
to
find
them.
How
many
in
this
room
are
are
registered
with
Intergroup
for
12
step
calls?
Everybody's
hand
should
be
in
the
air.
If
you
got
one
page
ahead
of
the
new
guy,
you
can
take
him
through.
You've
got
a
message
to
Carrie
if
you've
got
experience
with
it.
If
you
haven't
got
any
experience,
you
shouldn't
be
registered
with
Intergroup.
But
after
this
weekend
you
should
be
starting
experience.
Register
yourself,
sign
up
for
night
watch.
Do
this
deal.
Chris
gave
a
fantastic
message
last
night.
I
need
you
in
the
trenches
with
me.
I
can't
carry
this
alone.
All
right,
get
off
my
soapbox
#12
and
listen
carefully
to
number
12.
Selflessness
is
the
spiritual
foundation
of
our
way
of
life
as
marriage
partners
or
friends,
ever
reminding
us
to
place
principles
before
personalities.
And
the
main
principle
in
a
relationship
is
unselfishness.
Our
greatest
gift
to
be
of
is
to
be
of
help
to
one
another,
and
we
can't
do
that
if
we
are
selfish.
You
know,
the
traditions
can
apply
to
you.
Here
comes
the
concepts
and
I'm
going
to
go
through
this
fast.
Remember,
a
lot
of
people
have
never
heard
the
concepts
and
the
concepts.
The
1988
date
is
the
day
I
got
married.
OK
#1
The
final
responsibility
and
the
ultimate
authority
for
our
family
should
always
reside
in
the
collective
conscience
of
our
whole
family.
That
means
even
the
three-year
old
gets
a
vote.
Two,
when
in
1988
this
family
was
formed,
they
thereby
delegated
complete
authority
for
the
active
maintenance
of
the
family
to
all
of
its
trusted
servants,
accepting
for
any
change
in
the
12
traditions
or
the
family
structure
due
to
a
change
in
the
number
of
its
members.
The
family
members
make
up
the
actual
voice
and
the
effective
conscience
for
the
whole
family.
3
As
a
traditional
means
of
creating
and
maintaining
a
clearly
defined
working
relationship
between
the
family
members
and
the
trusted
servants
and
thus
ensuring
their
effective
leadership.
It
is
here
suggested
that
we
endow
each
of
these
elements
of
the
family
with
the
traditional
right
of
decision.
Remember
I
talked
about
last
night,
my
wife
gets
to
make
the
financial
decisions
because
she's
running
the
checkbook
now
and
we
alternate
that.
Guys,
when
we
first
got
married,
I
ran
the
checkbook.
Guess
what?
I
got
activated
for
Desert
Storm.
I
gave
her
a
sentence,
Honey,
I'll
see
you
in
a
year.
Bye.
Guess
what
she
had
to
figure
out
pretty
quick?
How
to
run
the
family.
Our
finances
are
an
open
book.
It's
in
a
book.
My
wife
knows
where
the
finances
are
and
I
know
anytime
I
want
to
look
what's
in
any
of
one
of
the
accounts,
I
can
go
pick
it
up
off
the
shelf.
I
could
get
hit
by
a
truck
tomorrow.
Who
am
I
to
keep
the
finances
a
secret
because
that
my
ego
will
hide
money?
I'm
not
above
that.
I'm
only
one
drink
away
from
being
drunk.
And
if
I'm
not
spiritually
centered,
I
go
back
to
my
old
behaviors,
right?
So
every
insurance
policy,
all
that
stuff,
it's
in
a
place
if
my
wife
and
I
were
both
to
get
hit
by
a
truck
tomorrow,
anybody
could
walk
in
and
and
pull
that
book
off
the
shelf
and
know
what's
in
there.
Basic
common
things
we
need
to
do.
You
know,
take
Mark
talked
about
it
yesterday,
take
care
of
your
health,
make
sure
you
have
insurance.
If
you've
got
children,
make
sure
there's
somebody
that's
designated
to
take
care
of
your
kids
hit
by
a
truck,
Make
sure
your
wills
are
up
to
date.
That
basic
stuff
we
were
talking
about
in
the
car
on
the
way
over
here,
Mark
and
I
and
Chris,
that
we
have
to
grow
up
in
a
A
and
there's
nobody
to
teach
how
to
have
a
relationship
in
a
A.
There's
nobody
that
stuff
should
be
taught
in
high
schools.
You
know,
how
do
you,
how
do
you
love
another
person?
How
do
you
have
a
basic
relationship?
What
does
it
mean
to
be
an
adult?
Real
basic,
simple
stuff.
If
you
don't
know
how
to
do
it,
seek
it
out.
Humble
yourself
enough
to
say
hey
you
seem
like
you
got
your
shit
together.
How
do
I
do
this?
Is
there
anything
I
haven't
thought
of?
You
know,
real
important
stuff,
real
important
stuff.
Here's
an
example.
A
friend
of
mine,
guy
I
sponsored
12
stepped
him
three
years
ago.
I
sat
him
down
and
said,
listen,
nobody
will
ever
tell
you
this.
I'm
going
to
tell
you
this.
I
said
I'm
taking
off
my
AA
hat.
This
is
me
as
a
friend
talking
to
you.
You're
just
getting
married.
You
need
to
get
insurance
for
your
wife.
You
need
to
get
insurance
for
you.
You
need
to
have
a
will
drawn
up.
Your
wife
is,
he
was
just
newly
married,
so
his
wife
was
got
pregnant
right
out
of
the
barrel.
I
said
you
need
to
draw
up
a
will
and
testament
and
you
need
to
have
somebody
guardians
picked
for
your
children.
He
disappeared.
He
got
a
new
higher
power,
which
was
money,
right?
He
worked
the
12
steps,
had
a
spiritual
awakening,
got
this
fantastic
job.
He's
making
buku
bucks
and
then
we
don't
see
him
in
a
a
anymore.
Last
week
I
get
a
phone
call
from
him.
He
was
doing
8
balls
and
drinking
in
Manhattan.
Money
didn't
do
it
for
him.
Calls
me
up
says
Dave
I
need
help
sitting
down
talking
to
him
and
he
says
oh
by
the
way
I
just
found
out
my
wife
has
cancer
and
I
said
well
thank
God
you
got
insurance.
He
said,
no,
I
never
did
get
the
how
is
she
going
to
get
the
insurance
now?
She's
got
a
pre-existing
condition.
And
then
he
says,
yeah,
my
company
got
bought
by
AT&T
and
they're
cutting
everybody
up,
laying
everybody
off.
So
I
think
I'm
going
to
be
laid
off
on
Friday.
So
now
he's
going
to
be
without
insurance
and
no
job.
Basic
stuff.
Life
is
hard.
Pay
attention.
All
right,
there's
another
tangent.
When
you
wrote
me
in
Mark,
where
was
I?
And
I
remember
which
one
of
these,
oh,
read
a
decision
4
Throughout
the
family
structure,
we
ought
to
maintain
it
all
responsible
levels
of
traditional
right
of
participation,
taking
care
that
each
classification
or
group
of
trusted
servants
shall
be
allowed
a
voting
representation
in
reasonable
proportion
to
the
responsibilities
that
each
must
discharge.
What
does
that
mean?
That
means
what
if
my
wife
wants
to
move
money
from
this
money
market
to
that
money
market?
That's
reasonable
in
her
position.
She
doesn't
need
to
bring
that
back
to
a
group
conscience.
She
can
participate,
that
she
can
make
her
own
decision.
Boom,
She's
not
violating
anything.
If
she
wants
to
go
speculate
with
that
money,
we're
going
to
have
a
conversation.
All
right.
5:00
Throughout
the
family
structure,
traditional
right
of
appeal
ought
to
prevail,
thus
assuring
that
minority
opinion
will
be
heard
and
the
petitions
for
redress
of
personal
grievances
will
be
carefully
considered.
I
talked
about
that
last
night.
Six
on
behalf
of
the
family,
the
trusted
servants
have
their
principal
responsibility
for
maintaining
the
maintenance
of
the
family,
and
the
collective
voice
of
all
family
members
traditionally
has
the
final
decision
respecting
large
matters
of
general
policy
and
finance.
But
the
family
also
recognizes
that
the
chief
initiative
and
the
active
responsibility
in
most
of
these
matters
should
be
exercised
primarily
by
the
parental
trustees
when
they
act
amongst
themselves
as
the
parental
service
board
for
the
family.
My
wife
and
I
should
not
be
giving
too
much
authority
to
a
three-year
old
and
a
six
year
old
common
sense.
So
we
are
the
parental
service
board.
We
take
care
of
the
majority
of
stuff
of
where
to
put,
I
don't
go
to
the
three-year
old
and
say,
Hey,
where
should
we
invest
this
money?
You
know,
common
sense
prevails,
You
know,
when
it
when
it
comes
down
to
the
down
on
the
line
and
you're
a
parent
and
your
kid
says,
well,
why
not?
And
you
say,
because
I'm
your
father
and
I'm
telling
you
so
as
long
as
I'm
spiritually
sound,
that's
an
OK
decision
because
I'm
the
parental
service
board.
When
it
when
the
buck
has
to
stop
somewhere,
stop
here.
I
know
people
in
a,
a
that
have
they
were
raised
with
nothing.
And
so
when
your
kids
get
there
and
it's
time
for
them
to
take
a
decision,
if
they
don't
feel
comfortable
with
it,
they
say,
well,
he's
probably
not
going
to
get
hurt.
Well,
do
what
you
want.
And
the
kid
spirals
out
of
control.
And
then
they
come
back
to
me
when
the
kids
15
and
he's
doing
drugs
and
he's
out
of
whack
and
they're
saying,
well,
where
did
I
go
wrong?
They
didn't
want
to
take
responsibility
because
they
weren't
taking
responsibility
for
themselves.
Your
sobriety,
your
life
is
your
responsibility
and
you
can't
do
it
without
God.
Plain
and
simple
#7
extremely
important.
And
I
rewrote
this
one
recently.
The
family
recognizes
that
the
vows
exchanged
by
the
parental
trustees
created
a
legal
entity
and
thereby
fully
empowered
the
Parental
Service
board
to
manage
and
conduct
all
of
the
family
affairs.
It
is
further
understood
that
the
concepts
are
spiritual,
not
legal,
instruments,
and
that
the
family
itself
is
a
spiritual
body.
It
relies
instead
upon
God
as
he
may
express
himself
in
the
group
conscience.
The
principal
vows
to
love,
honor
and
cherish
each
other.
The
force
of
tradition,
self
sacrifice,
selflessness,
cooperation
and,
as
a
last
resort,
the
power
of
the
parental
purse
for
effectiveness.
8.
The
parental
trustees,
which
make
up
the
Parental
Service
Board,
act
in
two
primary
capacities.
A.
With
respect
to
large
matters
of
overall
policy
and
finance,
they
are
the
principal
planners
and
administrators.
They
and
their
primary
committees
directly
manage
these
affairs.
B.
What
With
respect
to
the
constantly
active
service
committees,
the
relation
of
the
Parental
Service
Board
is
mainly
that
of
custodial
oversight,
which
they
exercise
through
their
ability
to
elect
all
directors
of
family
service
committees.
You
know,
guess
what?
I'm
in
charge
of
the
garbage
committee.
You
know,
my
wife's
in
charge
of
the
laundry
committee.
I
mean,
it
sounds
ridiculous,
but
if
you're
having
trouble
deciding
who's
going
to
do
that,
form
a
committee.
And
then
if
she
says
I'm
sick
and
tired
of
doing
the
laundry,
guess
what?
You
have
a
family
vote
and
guess
who's
probably
end
up
doing
the
laundry?
You
know,
when
the
kids
get
old
enough
and
it's
time
for
chores,
I'm
not
going
to
go
and
say
this
is
your
chore.
We're
going
to
say,
well,
how
can
you
contribute
to
the
service
of
this
family?
How
can
we
be
of
service
for
each
other?
I'm
trying
to
teach
my
kids
the
12
traditions,
the
12
concepts
about
love
and
service.
It
will
serve
them
better
than
anything
I
can
do
if
I
can
just
use
practical
application
of
what
we
in
a
a
nine
good
service
leaders
together
with
sound
methods
of
choosing
them
are
at
all
levels
indispensable
for
our
future
functioning
and
safety.
The
primary
family
leadership
must
necessarily
be
assumed
by
the
parental
trustees
who
make
up
the
parental
service
board.
That's
what
I
was
talking
about.
The
buck
has
to
stop
with
you.
How
do
people
get
elected
in
service
in
a
realistically
they
miss
a
business
meeting
and
next
thing,
oh,
by
the
way,
you're
the
DCM
or
nobody
wants
to
take
responsibility.
So
the
new
guy
kind
of
goes
well,
my
sponsor
said
I
need
a
service
commitment.
So
he
raises
his
hand.
Folks,
the
people
that
need
to
be
in
service
or
the
people
with
the
most
sobriety,
the
people
that
have
the
experience
what
our
service
structure
has
end
up
being
filled
with
our
egotistical
maniacs
who
want
to
position
in
a
title.
And
so
they
get
in
there
and
then
you
have
these
business
meetings
where
there's
fighting
and
cat
clawing
and
scratching
and
backstabbing
and
scumbagging
and
what
it's
done,
the
circle
and
triangle
gets
removed
from
our
literature.
How
important
is
that,
That
image
of
the
circle
and
triangle,
that
kind
of
deal?
If
we
don't
pay
attention
to
what's
going
on
in
our
own
backyard,
we're
in
deep
trouble.
And
it
feathers
right
in
with
Chris's
message
last
night.
10
every.
This
is
really
important
one
Every
service
responsibility
should
be
matched
by
an
equal
service
authority.
The
scope
of
such
authority
to
always
be
well
defined
by
tradition,
by
resolution,
or
by
specific
job
description.
Don't
make
assumptions.
Don't
assume
that
because
she's
in
charge
of
the
Finance
Committee
that
she's
going
to
have
money
going
into
a
retirement
account.
Sit
down
and
talk
to
her
about
it
and
say,
hey,
by
the
way,
are
we
getting
money
in
these
accounts?
Because
that's
what
I
expect.
And
then
five
years
you
find
out
the
next
thing
you
know,
she
was,
we
were
running
short
on
the
budget
and
she
was
spending
the
kids
college
fund,
you
know,
and
then
you
flip
out,
keep
your
hand
in
the
game
a
little
bit.
In
other
words,
it's
her
committee,
but
pay
attention
to
what's
going
on.
11
While
the
parental
trustees
hold
the
final
responsibility
for
the
family
administration,
they
should
always
have
the
assistance
of
the
best
possible
standing
committee
Staffs
and
consultants.
Therefore,
the
composition
of
these
underlying
committees,
the
personal
qualifications
of
their
members,
the
manner
of
their
introduction
into
service,
the
system
of
their
rotation,
the
ways
in
which
they
are
related
to
each
other,
their
special
rights
duties,
together
with
a
proper
basis
for
financial
compensation
of
these
special
workers
will
always
be
matters
for
serious
care
and
concern.
I'm
in
A1
income
household.
My
wife
is
home
with
our
children.
I
make
sure
that
my
wife
has
a
salary.
She
shouldn't
have
to
come
to
me
for
money.
She
should
be
able
to
buy
Christmas
gifts
and
stuff
without
having
to
come
to
me
like
a
like
a
beggar
with
her
hat
in
her
hand.
There's
one
pot
of
money.
My
money
is
her
money,
and
our
money
is
her
money,
right?
And
the
reality
of
it
is,
none
of
it
is
our
money.
It's
all
God's
money
and
we're
stewards
of
God's
money.
You
should
be
asking
yourself
that.
How
are
you
doing
as
a
steward
of
God's
money?
How
many
people
are
staying
in
hotels
tonight?
Today,
right.
How
many
people
would
go
eat
dinner
at
a
restaurant
and
not
tip
the
waitress?
Not
a
single
hand.
What's
one
of
the
most
thankless
jobs
in
the
entire
world?
The
maids
who
clean
hotel
rooms.
They
clean
up
people's
crap
and
slop.
Now
of
the
people,
how
that
stayed
in
hotel
rooms
last
night,
how
many
people
tipped
and
left
a
tip
in
the
room?
Beautiful.
That's
what
we
need
to
be
doing.
We
need
to
be
thinking
of
others.
It's
God's
money.
I
write
a
little
love
note.
I
wrote
a
note,
said
thank
you
for
your
service.
I
really
appreciate
what
you
did
for
me.
And
I
put
a
little
:)
with
a
little
hair
coming
out
of
the
guy's
top
of
the
guy's
head.
What
did
it
cost
me?
15
seconds
and
you
know,
all
I
did
was
take
my
change
out
of
my
pocket
since
I'd
been
here
and
there
was
like
3
bucks
and
change
and
that's
why
I
left
is
my
tip.
I
don't
miss
it.
It's
a
matter
of
fact.
It's
not
even
rattling
in
my
pocket,
dribbling
on
the
floor
when
I
sit
down.
My
life
is
better
because
I
gave
it
away.
Last
but
not
least,
12
the
general
warranties
for
the
family
member.
I
said
there's
six
warranties
in
a
A.
If
you
read
the
actual
concepts,
they're
very
similar
to
these.
In
all
its
proceedings,
the
family
shall
observe
the
spirit
of
a
tradition,
taking
taking
great
care
that
the
trusted
servants
and
committees
never
become
the
seat
of
perilous
wealth
or
power,
that
sufficient
operating
funds
plus
an
ample
reserve
be
its
prudent
financial
principle.
If
you
don't
have
a
savings
account
and
you
can't
survive
losing
your
job
for
a
month,
something's
wrong.
Every
sound
financial
planner
will
tell
you
need
six
months
in
savings,
right?
If
you
have
financial
amends,
the
money
that
comes
through
the
door
needs
to
be
going
partly
into
savings,
partly
to
tithing,
and
part
to
pay
off
your
amends.
You
don't
need
a
new
TV.
You
don't
need
a
new
stereo.
You
don't
need
a
new
car.
That
jalopy
with
the
three
colors
of
paint
and
the
bondo
that's
been
driving
around
when
you
got
sober?
That'll
keep
carrying
you
as
long
as
God
needs
you
to
carry.
You
know
what?
Something
will
come
into
my
life
when
I
get
an
old
beat
up
car
because
I
drive
them
pretty
hard
and
I'm
going
to
get
a
new
car.
Guess
what?
Give
it
to
some
newcomer
in
a
who's
struggling,
you
know,
but
you
make
a
deal
with
them.
I'm
going
to
give
you
this
car.
It's
going
to
cost
you
nothing.
Here's
the
car.
But
I
don't
want
to
see
a
new
watch
on
your
hand.
I
don't
want
to
see
a
new
stereo
in
your
house.
I
don't
want
to
see
anything
new
on
your
person
until
you
finish
your
financial
amends
and
you
make
a
covenant
with
them,
help
them
help
each
other.
What
did
it
cost
me?
Nothing.
Absolutely
nothing.
That
none
of
the
family
members
shall
ever
be
placed
in
a
position
of
unqualified
authority
over
any
of
the
others.
All
important
decisions
be
reached
by
discussion,
vote,
and
whenever
possible,
by
substantial
unanimity.
That
no
family
actions
ever
be
personally
punitive
or
an
incitement
to
public.
And
though
that
trusted
servants
may
act
for
the
service
of
the
family,
they
shall
never
perform
acts
of
government.
And
like
the
family
itself
which
they
serve,
the
trusted
servant
shall
always
remain
democratic
in
thought
and
action.
Important
stuff,
guys.
It's
changed
my
life,
it's
changed
my
family,
it's
changed
the
way
I
relate
at
work.
It's
changed
everything.
You
know,
I
used
to
be
a
real
ogre
at
home,
honest.
Because
I'm
doing.
You're
doing
that
because
I'm
your
father.
That's
the
way
I
say
things
are
going
to
go.
You
don't
hear
that
in
my
home.
It's
absolutely
not
the
way
things
go
in
my
life.
You
know,
I
always
say
this
from
the
podium.
I
wish
I
had
a
buck
for
every
time
you
call
somebody
in
the
program
who
looks
like
they
got
a
great
life
and
as
they're
picking
up
the
receiver
from
the
phone,
you
hear,
would
you
shut
the
hell
up?
Hello,
you
know,
if
your
family
is
not
an
open
book,
something's
wrong.
And
by
the
way,
since
I'm
on
my
soapbox
for
the
last
1520
minutes,
anniversaries
are
not
for
you.
The
anniversary
is
for
you
to
get
up
there
and
celebrate
the
gift
that
God
has
given
you,
that
AA
has
given
you
and
that
your
family
has
given
you.
My
family
comes
to
my
anniversary,
They're
invited.
I
invite
my
whole
family
to
come
to
my
anniversary
and
I
stand
up
at
the
podium
every
year
and
I
thank
them
publicly
for
what
they've
given
me
because
I
would
have
nothing
if
I
did
not
have
the
support
of
my
family.
That's
the
truth.
You
are
my
family.
You
have
a
family
of
chance
and
a
family
of
choice.
Your
family
of
chance
is
the
family
you
were
born
into.
Your
family
of
choice
is
the
people
you
choose
to
associate
with.
You
are,
you
will
know
that
I
accept
you
and
I
love
you
because
we
have
a
common
bond
that
may
not
be
so
at
home.
They
may
not
feel
accepted
by
you.
They
may
be
feeling
the
harm
because
you
haven't
finished
the
amends.
Bring
them
to
your
anniversary
and
thank
them
publicly.
That's
part
of
an
ongoing
loving
amend,
you
know.
So
I
think
we
got
to
change
tapes
and
I'm
going
to
hand
it
back
to
Mark.
I'm
done
talking
for
a
while.