Mark H. and Dave F. at the Fellowship of the spirit convention at St. John's University, Queens in New York July 27th

Yeah, I'm Mark. I'm an alcoholic

and we're going to talk about Step 3, which is

making a decision to turn our will and our life over the care of God as we understood Him. If you want to open your big book up to page 60,

there's a portion of the book

which I always like to read and I like to read it in first person. And I'd like you to follow along with me because I think it really let's you feel what it's like when you're living a life based on the self will. But toward the bottom of page 60, it says being convinced of these ABC's, I'm at Step 3,

which is that I'm going to decide to turn my will. Of course, that's my thinking, my thought life and my life, my actions over to God as I understood him. Well, what do I mean? What do we mean by that? And then what do I have to do? So there's two key questions to the third step. What do we mean when we say you're going to make that decision? And then the next one is, well, then what do I do?

And we have to meet a requirement before we make this decision. And here's what it is. The first requirement is that I must be convinced that any life run and soft will can already be a success. I've always liked to stop there. And you know, the exercise last night still ought to show you parts of your life, perhaps in which yourself will. But I, I, I would encourage all of you just in this is current, not old stuff,

is to ask yourself this. What parts of my life

am I still trying to run on self will Now there's an easy way to see that go back to the fruit. Do you have some areas of your life which are not producing fruit? My experience is if it's not producing fruit, there's self will intact. So that's a way for you to look at it. And, and what the book is saying is, Mark, before you do this,

basically what it's saying is this. If you're not convinced of this, you won't do this,

see. So I must be convinced that any life, any part of my life that's running S will cannot and will not work drunk or sober.

And now the book is going to describe to you and I what it looks like and what it feels like when I'm living a life based on self will. So so see if you can. I mean, there's a part of me that just bubbles when I read this. It's so mean. See says on that basis, living my life on self will, I'm almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though my motives are good. So you could look at your life and if you have some collision going on with some people. My experience is is because self will is involved with

that. It goes on to say that I try and live by self propulsion. I like to do visuals and what that looks like to me. I get up in the morning, I strap on a tank, a jet tank, and it says self will and I fire that baby.

You know, zoom around my home, zoom in my car, zoom around work, zoom around AA, you know, just zoom.

And it says that that I'm a I'm like an actor wants to run the whole show. I'm forever trying to arrange the lights that ballet, the senior, the rest of players in my own way. And I want to give you a visual that'll help you when we do theater of the like it maybe it'll help you understand how you play God. But just imagine that you're you're in say in in this. But of course we like to play God. So I would have to be on a throne,

have to be at least six feet up looking down and and I'll tell you who should be out there. Who should be out there is everything, I think that comprises my life.

My, my three brothers and their families would need to be out there and all the employees where I work. And there's certainly a few people in a a that would need to be out there. And anybody or anything that is touching any part of your life that you're getting your sense of self from would need to be out there. So you're up on your throne. So I want you to think of that as we as we read this.

So you're up on your throne and you want to run the whole show, and you're forever trying to arrange these lights that valet the scene and all the rest of the players in your own way.

If your arrangements would only stay put, if only all these people in your life was due as you wish, the show would be great. Can't you feel that?

Can't you just, you, can't you just feel that, You know, if your mom and your dad and your significant other and your members of your group and your sponsor and your employer, and I mean, I mean, if they'd only do, can't you? You know, it just touches something in my heart. The next statement is an incredibly delusional statement. Everybody, including yourself, would be pleased.

See this idea that that that we think we know it's good for another human being is about as arrogant as you could ever come up with, right? But this is what they mean by delusion. See, we believe that everybody, including herself, would be pleased. Now here's an added problem to this. When I'm playing God is I have a script for everyone in my life. Unfortunately, I don't send it to him every morning

and but yet it's in my mind. I've I've printed the copies

and then of course, during the course of the day, one of them does not perform the role and I want to call cut and redirect them to how they got off the script, see, but I've never given them the script. There's a term they use in psychology, passive aggressive. We're experts at that. See, everyone has this script not but we've never mailed it to them. But they don't follow up. But we're angry at them, right?

And and now it's going to describe my toolkit of self will. I'm going to be very virtuous. That's one of my kits to get what I want. I'm going to be kind, considerate, patient, generous. I will even be modest and self sacrificing.

There are a few more tools in my kid of self will mean egotistical, selfish and dishonest. Now when I when I came into AA and in my early years myself will what I the tools I used were mean, egotistical, selfish and dishonest. The longer I got sober and and the longer I was without a drink, my ego took on new faces. And then I just started to work with kind, considered, patient, generous, modest and self sacrificing. I'm still trying to get my way.

And it goes on to talk about, well, what usually happens. So remember, you're up in the stage now, right? You all have your life.

This show didn't come off very well.

Now when the show didn't come off the way that I think I want, then I begin to think like doesn't treat me right. So here's what I'm going to do. I am going to exert myself more.

I become on the next occasion, either demanding or gracious. See, I I'm going to evaluate the scene from my throne and I'm going to make a decision about the course of action I need to take to still get my way. And I'm either going to get demanding or I'm going to kiss ass.

Oh, I'm sorry, honey.

However, it plays out right.

Check this out. Still, the play doesn't suit me. You know why? Because when you're God, you shouldn't have to either demand or you shouldn't have to either. Be gracious. It should just be happening,

right? See. And it bothers me that I even have to take the time to explain to you,

you know what, what it is you're not doing

because I'm busy.

It's bothersome to me, you know.

And then again, I'm going to go back into my toolkit a little bit because after all, I've got a little spirituality now. I'm going to admit that I may be just a tiny bit at fault,

but I'm very sure that you are much more to blame.

And the end result of that is then I'm going to become angry, indignant and saw pitting and I and I love the path. There's a there's a connection between those three and the way they manifest. When myself will is not going the way I want, the first thing I will experience is anger that I was always followed by indignant. How dare you? And then ultimately I always get into self pity. That's the path.

Well, what is my basic trouble? Here's what it is.

Am I not really a self seeker even when trying to be kind?

This idea of Alcoholics being people pleasers, and I don't know if you've ever thought about this, I'll give you a consideration

for those of you who may think you're people pleaser, how can the road of your trouble be that you're selfish and self-centered and you be a people pleaser. So if you're a people pleaser, all you're doing is using the toolkit of kindness to still get your own way, but you're still selfish and self-centered.

You understand what I just said. It's impossible to be selfish and self-centered into people pleaser. There's only one person you want to please. Does that make sense? See we we are not people pleasers, albeit we look that way at times, but it's our tool kit, right? I'm going to be modest and kind. Oh, let me help you to get what I want. Spiritual living is to go through life with no motives, motiveless. See, you guys are just like me. The only time I do something without a selfish motive is by mistake.

And now it's going to describe in that word that Dave's been talking about. Am I not a victim? Victim uses that word. Victim of the delusion. Remember, a definition delusion. It is a belief system held in spite

to give you. You are so limiting what God wants to give you. See.

So this is the delusion that we're up against. I'm going to be satisfied and happy if I manage well. I'm up in my stage and

you follow me

and there's another, there's another litmus test about this. Look at the times in your life when you thought you were managing well and, and ask yourself this question. Did I still drink? Was I still unhappy? Was I still unfulfilled with my life? Even times in which I quote thought I was managing my life well. And you know, the ducks are in a row, right? You had this idea and and and for brief windows of times it it falls into place,

but there's still, there's still so much missing. See, but the. So that's the delusion from which I suffer.

Now it's going to talk about other people and how they feel about me. Being up in the stage is not evident to all the rest of the people in my life. These are the things I want and do not. My actions make these people wish to retaliate, snatching all that they can get out of the show. Am I not even my very best? Moments of producer confusion rather than harmony.

Well, that's a hard one to swallow. At my very best, I'm going to produce confusion. You know why? Because there's no consistency in us. That's why we got one foot in. We got one foot out. One minute I'm demanding, the next I'm gracious. It's still always based on self. So we have no consistency. That's why the, the, the men and women who are in our life who are not Alcoholics, That's why we at times it just seems like we're ripping their souls out

because at our very best, driven and soft, well, like create confusion even with the best intentions

you follow. And we drive them crazy, see, because they're not wired like that. They're, they're not, you know, they, they, they have no frame of concept for how we come at things.

We are self-centered, egocentric. And then they give some examples in the theater of a lie. We'll go back to these people. I got a retired businessman, right? He's lulling the Florida sunshine and all he does is sit in the beach all day complaining. The sad state of the nation, right? I have a minister who's going to sigh over the sins of the 20th century. I told the minister one time if there wasn't any sinning, you wouldn't have to job and you'd have to work for a living.

Don't sigh over the sins of the 20th century. Keeps you gainfully employed.

You see what's going on here, though? Oh, if it all stops sinning, you know just well, then you good. You come to work with me. Oh, keep sending

a politicians and reformers who sure all would be utopia. The rest of the world would only behave.

The outlaw safecracker thinks society is wronged him, the alcoholic who's lost all is locked up. But whatever our protestations, are we not concerned with ourselves, our resentments and our self pity? And that sums up the, the, the pain and the suffering of our life is we are absolutely consumed with ourselves, our resentments and our self pity.

And now the book on page 62 is going to start talking to you and I about what's wrong with this. And I promise you that alcohol is not the problem.

Selfishness and self centeredness is the root of all of our troubles.

When you're going and then I love this word

driven, see, I didn't know this. I'm asleep dreaming. I'm awake centered on mark, selfish to the core. And when that is the case, I do not make choices in life. I get to go through life driven by 100 forms of fear, self delusion, self seeking and self pity. Here's the way it looks.

Limo pulls up in front of your house and you go out and get in. The driver turns around, he says good morning, Mark, my name is Fear and I'm going to drive your ass around today.

And that happens all day long. And in the middle of it all, because I'm asleep, I'm telling you, I'm making choices with my life.

The next day it's another limo driver and he's self seeking and he drives me around all day. And then there's self delusion and then there's self pity. And is the end result of when you go through life like that, asleep, dreaming, your wake driven, consumed with yourself, you are going to step on the toes of your fellows, Column one. They are going to retaliate column two.

Sometimes they're going to hurt you. Column three,

seemingly without provocation,

I didn't do anything. Why are you so angry? But you're going to invariably find it sometime in the past. Column four, you made a decision based on self. Column three, I'm sorry, which later placed you in a position to be hurt. Column three, you know this old saying of what you put out? You get back. They start out describing the 4th column. I'm driven by 100 forms of fear, self delusion, self seeking, self pity.

I step on the toes of my fellows. Column one, they retaliate. Column two. They hurt me. Column three.

But I go back and I always find out I made decisions on self which place me in a position to be heard. All my troubles are of my own making.

Think about that.

These troubles arise out of myself. That's different from coming at you from the outside. They arise out of myself and I'm an extreme example of self will run riot, though I do not think so. Self delusion

above everything. I must be rid of this selfishness. I must or it this selfishness kills me. And you don't have to take a drink to die of your selfishness.

Let me explain the connection between selfishness and alcohol.

If this doesn't go, if you don't get off that stage, if you cannot love people exactly as they are, if you don't get concerned with loving them and about not being loved, if you can't be of service, if you can't be of an agent, here's what's going to happen if you stay on that. What's going to happen is the world and its people are not going to do what you want and you are going to get angry and you are going to get resentful. And when you get resentful, you become blocked from the only thing at certain times

that keeps you from taking a drink. You lose conscious contact. You have a deep sense of separation. It makes you feel dis ease, restless, irritable, discontent. And I know what? So we'll make that go away

is a drink of alcohol.

This is what is we're up against, everyone of us in this room. I don't care how long you're sober. This is what will take me back to a drink. This is what Dave and I looked at for 9:00.

Our selfishness. See our selfishness. This is the root of our trouble. This is why we die of alcoholism. And I only know of one thing that will treat this. Four through 9. Work with 1011 and 12. Four through 9. Not one time, many times,

because we're going to see some words in here that with God's help, I can be entirely rid of self. See, so yourself will cannot eliminate yourself will

the mind that brought you to A A that is consumed with itself is not the organ you go into to get rid of itself.

You follow

it's so it says that we must or it kills us and then our name is not in the next sentence. God through these spiritual exercises makes that possible. See, yourself will cannot defeat yourself will. It takes the best of them.

You understand what I'm saying? God makes that possible, see.

And then it goes on to say that there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without God's aid.

See, and you and I have moral and philosophical convictions, glory, but I can't live up to Him even though I would like to. And I think we all know what that means. You know, I don't think anyone in here is any different than me. I have moral and philosophical convictions. I don't want to harm anybody. And I want to be kind and I want to be loving and I want to be tolerant and I want to be non judgmental and, and I would like to love unconditionally. Unfortunately, I don't have the power to pull that off. If there's selfishness within me,

you follow me. So I had these moral philosophical convictions, Glory. But I keep falling short time and time and time again.

And the reason is, is because I'm up against self, I'm up against selfishness, and I can't defeat that within me, only God can. That's why I keep falling short in these moral and philosophical convictions,

goes on to say. Neither can I reduce myself centeredness by wishing or trying on my power.

See, we're back to the lack of powers. My dilemma. I got to have power and I begin to see what has happened in my life as a result of trying to run on my power. It says I had to have God's help. See, do I know that? Do I see that? Do I realize that I have to have God's help? Then it tells you and I how we're going to get God's help. I'm going to quit playing God. I'm going to walk off that stage

and once I walk off that stage, as a result of the action taken in four through 9, I basically am saying, God, my life is no longer any of my business, nor is anybody else's. I am just here, God, to be of service to you and to my fellow human beings, to trust that you will have me where I'm at, doing what I'm supposed to be doing, whoever's supposed to be in my life. That I will do my best to love people, to understand people, to forgive people and not concern myself at all. God with whether they love me or understand me or forgive me.

You follow. That's what this is about. This is how I get God's help. I step down off that stage and just sit out in the crowd see because I don't have a clue what's what's good or best or right for any other human being. And it goes on to tell you and I why we're going to do that. It you and I sitting on the stage trying to arrange the world and a A and your family and EDD does not work.

See the fruit of it all right? How many of us in this room have done that? We we charge it something head on through self will

into a series of events normally beyond our control. We let go of it and lo and behold, it gets fixed, right?

US playing God just does not work. It does not work. Anyone begins to understand that, if you will. And now it's going to talk about this decision, and I'm going to have Dave talk about it. And then those who want to, I would like to consider that we say the third step prayer together as a spiritual body and maybe reconfirm this idea that we'd like to step off that stage

that we would like to be to be a part of and, and truly let God

be involved in running our lives and the lives of everyone that we care about. And let God determine where we're going to be and what we're going to do and how it's going to look like. So

Mark, read something on page 60 that the first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run in self will can hardly be a success

for the big book lawyers in here.

If there's a first requirement, what does that tell you? Got to be a second and on the guy to put them both down there. The 2nd requirement is that we had to quit playing God. It didn't work.

So you need to ask yourself before we go further to answer those two questions, are you convinced that running your life on self will isn't working for you?

If we haven't done our job in step one, if we haven't slapped you with the hopelessness in your soul and you're not desperate to get out of that position and and understanding that you need power, we've missed something. Because remember the first step because of the mental obsession that can come into my life in the in the hamster gets on the wheel. I'm screwed if I never pick up the drink because my mind can get that thought and I can't get rid of it. I can be obsessed with the concept and the idea of what the hell is

oedema. I'd never had eczema, you know? Well, that billboard went up with that bottle in the drip stripping down it, man, I was thinking, what the hell is a Zima? You know? I was probably, I don't know, 15 years sober and I'm driving down the road thinking, what's this deal? Mental obsession. I'm screwed if I never pick up another drink. If I pick up a drink, physical craving, I wake up the beast and I'm screwed.

And if I never ever pick up a drink and the thought of alcohol never comes back into my life,

guess what? I'm still screwed because I have a spiritual malady that's going to get worse, never better in sobriety. My only defense is to combat it by growing spiritually along with it. I can offset my spiritual malady by growing spiritually under God. And then the two balance out and power of peace, happiness, and a sense of direction comes flowing into me like I could have never imagined.

You know how many people have been in a A when somebody that's newly sober, that's that their spirit is first awakened

and they're going wow. And they run into AA and they're way too dumb. They share it with the group guys, guess what? I did this and get, oh, it's wonderful. And some old timer comes along and squashes them like a bug. Oh, that's just a pink cloud. You'll get over that.

Guess what, guys? If you haven't seen it, what do I live like? You see my life, You see what I'm like? I'm not. And I don't want to present this as an image. And I'm this way all the time. Oh, power failure.

Think we lost our circuit breaker?

I

gives us the choice if we want to go off and have pain. He loves enough. Let the do. Let's do that. He wants us to come and knock, right? If we knock, he opens the door and answers and all the power of the peace to happiness flows into us. All right, that's what step three is, is making a decision and saying, OK, the decision that I'm making if let's go to the book, let's take a look at the decision. So the next time that somebody asks you what is the decision you're making,

you can answer them. Let's go to page

62

62 Colon 3 right? And remember what Mark read on 62 Colon 2. You know, there's it starts out with the greatest to me, the greatest problem and promise in the big book. So our troubles, we think are basically of our own making, right? Why is that a promise? Because if you're still living on the fact, let's say that you were molested at 7 years old and it was done by your uncle, let's say, and he's now dead and you're wishing it that he's just in hell suffering. And every day of your life, you wake up and that, that little crushed spirit,

that little child that was you, that smiling innocent creature, the reason you and your ego are blaming the way you are today is because of that uncle. Guess what? He's got to come back from the dead for you to get better. He's got to crawl up to your altar and bow before you as God and swear that he's absolutely amazed at the harm he caused you and begged forgiveness from you. And then you'll consider whether you're going to forgive him or not,

right?

If your problems of your own making and you made the problem, he can stay dead and you can still get free. And that's what we're going to show you when we show you inventory, we're going to show you how to unlock the key to your own heart and be able to go make amends to him for the harms that you've caused him in the process. Hard concept for most Alcoholics to swallow. We can't get there because we don't have power, right?

We're still powerless. And halfway down 62 or the third sentence down, it says above everything. You think Bill Wilson meant that? This is important?

Think above everything. We got to get rid of our selfishness, which means we got to stop playing God. That's the deal, right? But we can't do that on our own. God has to make it possible.

So we really can't turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, can we? All we can do is make a decision to get the hell out of the way. All right, The reason that most Alcoholics don't want to turn their willing life over the care of God or even haven't even enter into that conversation because they have a wrong conception of what God is. Well, if you go to 62 Colon 3, it says this is the how and the why of it. Remember, they're going to tell us how and why, right?

First of all, we had to quit playing God. There's our second requirement because it didn't work. Are you convinced of that? Are you convinced that you have to quit playing God?

Hopefully, if we've done our job, you are next. What does that say? We decided here is the third step decision.

What is your decision that hereafter in this drama of life, God is going to be your director? What does a director do for his actor? He tells him what to do. So you're making a decision is from this day forward, you're going to let God tell you what to do. You're going to stop playing God and start listening to him and say, OK, guy, what do you want me to do? He going to tell you. And then you're going to go off and do it. All right, but wait a minute. We're powerless.

He's going to tell me what to do. I better find some power. What's the next sentence?

He is the principal and we are his agents. What is a principle and an agent? If you look at it, I like to use the analogy of an insurance company. Let's say I'm an insurance broker

and I say I work for State Farm. State Farm, They're the principal. I'm just the agent. I get my power from them. They have authorized me to go out and be their representative and write policies. You have a claim, you come to me. All I do is fill out the paperwork, send to them, and guess what? The power, the check comes from them. It doesn't come from me, right? That's the deal. We're going to say, OK, God, what do you want me to do? I'm going to go out and start doing whatever his will is, and he's going to be the power. This is a promise that if I make this decision, he's going to empower me as his agent. I'm going to be an agent.

Man, does that scare most Alcoholics? Sounds too evangelical for him. All right. He is the father and we are his children. What does a father do for the child?

Primarily? First and foremost, he loves them unconditionally.

That's the different concept of a, of a punishing God that you're going to put you in purgatory for the rest of your life.

Real God, as I understand in my experience, is that God loves me unconditionally. I was watching a thing on in an article, an interview with and you heard me mention the name Jeffrey Dahmer yesterday that that triggers a damage in people's minds. And it was Jeffrey Dahmer's dad and they were interviewing him and he said, you know, I really absolutely, I can't express to you. And he's got tears flowing down his face and he says, I can't express to you how much I detest what my son has become and the actions that he did.

But he said he's still my son and I love him.

Unconditional love. That's what a father does for his children. What else does a father do for his children? He gives them what they need. He nurtures them, He cares for them, provides their needs. So that's this decision. I'm going to go out and do what God said. OK guys, what do you want me to do? Go out and do it. He's going to give me the power and He's going to give me everything I need to go out and do His will. Not what I want. I want that second house. You know what? My bank account doesn't have the money in it for the 2nd house.

That must not have power there, huh? So maybe that's not God's will for me to have that second house.

All right. What else does the Father do for his children?

If you step out of line, what does a father do?

Disciplines. Discipline. The root word of discipline is disciple.

He brings you back into alignment to be like Him. A discipline is not a punishing

God. God is love. The discipline is He's going to lead us back to be loving, patient, tolerance, care, concern for others, service. That's the discipline that God is going to bring us into. How does he do that? Pain? We go the wrong direction. God says I love you enough, have a nice day.

Now we come running back saying, oh, that hurt and and what is God there doing? He doesn't say the prodigal son, right? He doesn't say you dirty bugger, you went out and you spent your inheritance and now you're coming back. What does he do? He goes and kills the fatted calf, says, hey, let's have a party. He's back. Thank God I love him. I missed you. Where have you been? Love, tolerance, patience, acceptance, understanding.

What a wonderful message this book carries for us. And all we have to do is make a decision. It's that simple. Step three is about making that decision. If, if we try to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, what kind of power does it all? I think I'll let him. Have you heard that?

You know, first step I can't. Second step he can. Third step, I think I'll let him. Is that the most egotistical thing you've ever heard?

That's alcoholic, man. That's me. So what's the deal? The real deal is

to take the third step is to make the decision. And I asked you before the break to think about what that decision was. And I tricked it the same way the big Book tricks you. I asked you to make the decision without even knowing what the decision was that I was going to ask you. Now the Big Book gives you the prayer, and after you've taken the prayer, then it says, you know, you might want to think well before taking the step

too late.

I'm not going to do that to you. All right? We just got done talking about what this decision is about, right? I want to read a little quote to you from Doctor Bob and the good old timers comes from page 262. Colon 0 says the principles are there, the steps are there, the practices are there, and the opportunities are there. If you do as the Big Book says, then it is the same program that existed when I came in in 1939.

The people who wanted to say sober were the ones who did what the program suggested. Today, the people who want to stay sober are the ones who do what the program tells them to do.

What were they doing in 1939?

If you go to the study edition, you go back to those pages, it says they got down on their knees. It wasn't an act of humiliation. It was a demonstration of commitment.

The third step decision puts into place a commitment that we're going to follow on with the rest of the steps. How do you demonstrate to me that you've really made this decision in your heart, that you're really planning on taking the third step? The guys I work with, I say, you know, I don't forget who I steal from everybody, but I stole this from somebody. I said, can you count from 1:00 to 9:00? You know, you, you go through this decision, you prove it to me because I'm a footman, right? I'm watching his feet. I'm watching for his actions. If he does 456789 if you

with the rest of these steps, he proves to me that he's made the decision and then he enters into a spiritual awakening, a conscious contact with God and he can't help but to live in 1011 and 12 until he decides to go out and not make his decision again. And then he's out into the pain and the loving father is waiting for him to come on back. You'll hurt bad enough. You'll come back into another inventory. You hurt bad enough and you're restless, irritable, discontent. You'll come on back. You know, the big book says we got

basically 2 advocates,

pain and alcohol. You know, they'll bring us back into line. Alcohol is the great persuader. It'll beat us into a state of reasonableness. We don't have to go into that pain anymore. You know, no matter how bad you're hurting right now, you never, ever have to hurt this bad ever again.

That's why Your Troubles of Your Own Making is the greatest promise of this book.

Make the decision, follow through with the rest of the stuff and climb back on the pink cloud with me. Come on in the water is fine. So what does the book say? The old manuscript says you get down on your knees and you offer yourself to your maker. So if you don't know it, it's in the guide it's on it's on the it's in the big book on that page, but it's also in the guide on page four. If you don't have it memorized for those who care to and some people may not care to, your religion may permit. I don't know, but I say this prayer every day when I do workshop. I like to get on my knees,

take us a second to get arranged, but if you guys are willing, I'd love for you to get on your knees with me and then we'll say the third step prayer together.

Yeah,

God, Ioffer myself to thee to build with me, and to do with me as thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away the difficulties, the victory over them. May, may bear witness to those that would help of thy power, thy love,

and thy way of life. May I do thy will always.

How cool is that? What a deal. If you've never done the third step on your knees with a guy one-on-one, let me tell you, it'll change your life.

I got a, an e-mail and a phone call not too long ago from somebody and, and they were living in a dark tunnel. Their area was dark tunnel a a, and they reached out for help. And, you know, it was like at the time it hit me and I really, I just finished writing inventory and I hadn't fit stepped yet. And I really didn't want to go do this deal, you know, and of course my ego was trying to back me off and, and I remembered of, of this prayer, you know, that I'm supposed to be there out where God tells me where I'm supposed to go. I'm supposed to do the deal

and I truly believe that I am responsible when anyone anywhere reaches out for the help of a I want the hand of a always to be there. And for that I am responsible, you know, and I thought, well, I, I don't have to go to where this person is and do this deal. Let me see if I can find somebody else. And I made it like 15 phone calls and talked to several people and I didn't have anybody in the area where they were to be able to help them. And I tried to cram too much into the stream of life and it didn't work. So I went down, I fist up with Mark and I came back and like the next day or the day

I said, listen, if you, I'm willing to come and meet you halfway, I said, if you can get yourself from where you are to Washington, I'll fly down to Washington. I'll meet you. So I flew down to Washington and this guy had gotten a friend from the program because he just lost his license the day before, you know, for DWI and he they drove him like almost three hours up to Washington. And I went to the airport and flew down to Washington. We met

and we said, I looked at the the driver, the person that drove the car and I said,

where should we do this deal? Because I was going to take this guy through the steps. And we both looked at each other and instantly we looked each other said the Chapel. So he went into the terminal and we walk into the terminal. We don't know where the Chapel is. So we just stand there for a second and you listen to the intuition, it's over there. Start walking. Boom, there's the Chapel. We walk in the Chapel. It's the minister's last day at the Chapel in Washington, DC in the airport. He's going off to a new ministry. We said, hey, we need a quiet place to talk. Is there a place? And

he says, well, I got a closet and it's full of Bibles. Says if you move some of the cases of Bibles, you the three, you can probably fit in the closet.

I said great, So we go. We climb into this closet

and we do this deal and we get up to the third step and guess what? We had to come out of the closet to take the third step

and we climbed out of this closet and we're at the altar in this Chapel in the airport in Washington, DC. If you'd never been on your knees with an alcoholic, I don't care whether you're in a closet, wherever you are one-on-one, and you're looking into somebody's eyes and you see the pain in their heart and you see them make this decision and then follow through the steps. Man, that is a high that you don't want to miss 'cause it's the grace of God in your life. It's a gift and there's people in this program that don't want to do it.

I was guilty of it. I didn't want to do it,

but I understand that when the hand of a has to be there, if I can't get somebody else's hand, my hand's going to be there because that was a gift. Somebody was there for me, you know, do this deal with people. And I highly encourage you. I don't know how it affected you to get on your knees because you're in a group, but you can also kind of hide in the middle of the group. 101 There's no way to hide. And men don't like to get on their knees with each other, you know, and, and, and pray. That's kind of, but let me tell you, every time I've done it, it's been a wonderful, wonderful deal.