The 23rd annual convention in Birmingham, UK

CA Welcome to our speaker, Richard E from CA in Sweden. Thank you.

Huh.

He told me to stop.

You're scaring me.

Wow, this is a big room.

I like it.

My name is Richard. I'm a recovered addict.

I'm so happy to be here. I see a UK had done so much to me and for my recovery during the years. I was thinking yesterday like when was the first time I went to see a UK? I was in Brighton 2006 and it blew my head off, it really did. And now I have the honor to coming back ten years later

to speak at this convention, Birmingham,

where I attended the first world convention outside the North America, which also blew my head away.

And I'm here

and so many people in this audience in these rooms and this hotel that helped me through to to to get where I am today, to be sober, happy, joyous and free. And just as I walked up to the podium, I checked my phone to see if I was Russell was really strict, no more than 45 minutes. It's really, really important. It's a business gradual. So how to look at my phone? And I saw a message from my sponsors. I was a little distracted like

somewhere.

Anyway, I will try to tell you in general way how it was, what happened to me and how it now is. And I have been a little bit fucked up some years. So it might not be how it actually was, but it's my it's how I perceived it. And I going to be honest and still not sure it's going to be true. If you were there,

this is aha, I'm sorry.

Oh, my surprise date is June 13, 2003.

I just turned 40 years couple of weeks ago. So I'm born in 1976.

It's a good thing. And I I I grew up in a small town with a mother that loved me very much. There's nothing wrong with my childhood. We had money enough, we had food enough. I had friends enough. I had people around me, enough people supporting me, wanted me to have a nice life, to be happy and all this.

But I don't know what went wrong. I don't see that I ever had anything. I hear some people sharing about. I want to be like the person I was before I start using. I don't want to be that person

that sucked.

Using was a solution to my problem was not really problem began. They have two really strong memories from my childhood. One, I always told

the other person, but I thought they want to hear. Like if you ask me a question, I looked at you and I wonder what he wants me to answer now and I answered that.

The other thing I remember is that I wanted to be the best.

This was the two things that was the most important in my life and I started school and it was number problem. I was among the best. I was intelligent child. I understood the things, I could read, I can do the math. I was quite big at that time. I stopped growing when I was like 13 so I could fight. It was strong, everything. This was good for me.

There's no problem. In the beginning of my life I stole what I needed. I didn't have any problem with that

with somebody like cost me. I thought, what do they want me to say now? And if I thought that you wanted me to

come clean and tell you how it was, I told you, yes, I'm sorry, I stole that. I don't know why or I thought it's not going to benefit me. I lied and say no I did not see that and my life was easy.

It started to be more complicated when I grew older, like 1213 something.

Come to a new school, there's so many people. I was not the best anymore. I was not the brightest, I was the biggest. I was not the baddest, I was not the strongest. I was not nothing and started like what am I gonna do now?

And our 13 old seven years old. I was at a party with one of my friends and said

it wasn't a part of the time. I never been drunk or anything but that. Which let's have a party, Let's buy some beers and bring all our friends over here and, like, have a parlor. Yeah, why not? I've never been drunk. I never try it as sick little alcohol or sit little bear. But I didn't like the taste of it. But this time I didn't sip it. I drank it

and Richard yesterday described it so good, like the warmth in your body, the happiness is pouring down, the smile coming up on my face and I, I like this.

I want more.

That took one more, and another one and another one and another one. I liked it more and more and more and suddenly I felt really sick

and I started to puke all over the place, everywhere. I couldn't stop. I puked for like 6-7 hours straight, just licking there in the bed, like puking, wondering what went wrong. It was so it was so nice and now it's not so nice, but it's still nice. Somewhere I had to puke a little bit more, but it's still nice a puke. It is nice

and this might sound like a like a lie to you, but a girl went down in the bed with me and had my first sexual experience between the Pew so I was like

I'm on to something here.

Still was not like, crystal clear that this was a solution. It was like, I need to master this, you know? They didn't like the puking so much, but they liked the experience. I liked the girl I liked. Yeah, You understand? Just going to figure this shit out.

So. So it began

drinking that, drinking this drinking that, like always trying to get this perfect balance of feeling in control, not control, not caring, caring, being the best, don't care if they don't think I'm the best. And like it's, it's hard. You know, you have different kind of liquors, you have different times. Sometimes you're outdoors and you have to drink faster because it's cold. I'm from Sweden is cold in the winter, have to drink fast and you can drink hard liquor to get warm or even inside. You have some more time on yourself. You know, it's

to get this in the right mood, but I tried. I tried really hard

and

as as I was doing this, I was not paying attention to school anymore because I didn't need it anymore

and I couldn't be the best in schools. There had to be best of something else. I started to steal, I started to rob, I started to bite people. I started to do all kinds of these things. And, and and I've thought people respected me for it because everybody knew who I was and everybody was saying hi, Richard, how are you? The police was pulling over in the streets like hi, Richard, how are you today? I'm good, Thank you for asking. Even the police wants to be my friend. You know,

it's not that big, big city,

so it's OK.

And I was 15. I moved from the small city back to down to Stockholm in the big city

and I was not the baddest guy either anymore, like it was not the best in school. I was not, could not fight with these guys because I was way worse than me, did hardly crimes with me. They did everything other than this. The only thing left was the alcohol, but it was OK, I had the alcohol. I was continuing drinking, started working in the restaurant.

I tried different things like I was 16 years old, went down to Spain, tried smoking for the first time somewhere. I was down at the beach after this get close.

Some Spanish guy were over there smoking. I told my friend, like, OK, I'm gonna smoke, you're gonna smoke. We have to like, one at a time. And I asked him for like, can I have some? And they rolled me something and something big. And I take it easy. It has to be nice to me, you know, It's stupid sweet. They want to make a good thing for me. So I took that. And I see in the movies you do it like this when it's more than.

Then you hold it as long as you can.

Still holding.

I think you continue until it's done because. Yeah. And I thought this is nice. Like 30 minutes later, I was laying in the middle of the street. So big pipe. It felt like the

let's talk my friend. I can't get any air.

There's no air here.

You must lay that in the middle of the street. I couldn't even move. Get me some water or anything

you might want to try to. Don't take such a big breath, you know, like.

And I thought I have to work on that a little bit.

I tried other things. I've tried this down as another benefit of the opinions, whatever you call. And I wasn't working at the restaurant around like, yeah, company trip. We're going out to north skiing and I was in the bus. I had my water gun, had everything in the party was going, my friend. Like, have you ever tried this, Ruby, call it. I know when you want to. Yeah. How much do you want? I don't know. You want to. Yeah, sure. Took these two

have a vague memory of going into a restaurant on the way up there and then I woke up like this.

I look down at my

table, I saw like two sandwiches, glass of you, some coffee and I looked up and it was a full room like people restaurant, people eating breakfast and looked out the window was really much. It's really snowy there, like Alaskan. I remember I was down in the South. There was no fucking snow there.

I looked at the guy sitting at my table with like three of my friends and they like blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Like someone is looking at me like they was expecting me to answer questions. If you like,

excuse me, can you just repeat the question is like, hmm,

what happens? This is kind of strange. Didn't really go the way I supposed it would go. But I I handle the situation. I didn't tell anybody what happened and I kept my form up and the mask up and yeah, let's go skiing. And I thought

this will take some work as well. That's not my solution.

When I was 24 years old, I had a girlfriend, had a job I had. I thought I was rich. I always money on my pocket. I always spend all my money the same night. But I suppose the waitress, I get some tips. I always new money the day after I was rich again. I spent it all on drugs. But life was easy and I thought, yeah, this is it.

And I was at the restaurant again. I was out drinking four to five times every week. And I was at the restaurant and some guy came out. You want to trace him amphetamines. I said, yeah, sure, why not? So we bought the gram, three of us, and we went into like, it's really, this is really cool in class and having rice. And we went into this shitty toilet, too small.

We sat down on your knees there in the piss. Hey, a handout even started using drugs, you know

why bosses a toilet thing a little bit fast and OK, how do you do that? And the guy like, I think we are just split it in three, you know, 123 and we take it OK.

You know, the feeling

directly. I was like, this is something different. I went out to the bar with my eyes up like this and I was jumping around and I talked so fast. You couldn't imagine, like

for some Frank, you might want to like, lower this down a little bit. And I was like, no, no, no, no,

some other friends come, let's go home instead. It's not good for you to be on this place. People are working out. Yeah, sure, we can do that. I was jumping around and I was so happy. I knew, like, this is the fucking solution. Then I blacked out. I don't remember anything more. It's like 11 in the evening and I woke up the back seat of a car like the day after, around 12 noonish. The sun was up. They were running, going around with the car and my two friends up in the front

and I looked in the back mirror and saw the faces and like what are we doing? I asked him like, and they were like, had this looking back at me, like, why are you acting so strange?

You've been so fucked up. You've been running around. You try to kiss me. You try to fuck my television.

Yeah, you're laughing.

But I knew this is the solution

and I don't know if that makes me different from anybody else,

but I I knew that this is the solution to my problems. Yes, a couple of weeks later of some trying this aphelomine, I find cocaine. And it was like the same thing. But now I was a God as well, like,

and I was the best in the room. Like it was no doubt about it. Like in this room, I can stand in there like, yeah,

I'm the best.

And it was what I saw, like looking for the whole life, you know, I wanted to be the best. I wanted to be like it. And I

and in my question

was to change my friends because as soon as my friends were better than me, I'm like, OK, fuck you and I go to some other one.

You can imagine my friends. If a guy that thinks being blacked out fucking a TV is the solution to his problem is he's going to feel best in a room with the other guys have to be really fucked up, you know?

Oh, I was 24 years old. They had no depth. I have no nothing. I had my apartment, everything was nice for me. I started chasing his cocaine. Took like six months and all my money was gone. Like but I'm a clever guy. I start selling cocaine instead. This is the solution. I get shit load of money and working every day. I selling cocaine and using cocaine and never sleeping.

I've never been more broke in my life.

Say, yeah, but can I get like an advance? I just sell this and then I get you get the money and like, oh, fuck, no, really. Fuck. And I take some blank columns, you know, like the call. If she can have some money, yeah, sure. Like

I was 25 years old and realized I cannot do this and I have to change my work. That's what the solution because in this work, everybody's fucked up. I worked like 10 restaurants in 10 months. In every restaurant

I was fucked up. I was using all the time. After a year of this running around, I went back to the first restaurant because they if I'm going to do this, I'm going to do it for real. And here's my friends, here's my dealers, here's my the guy I sell to. This is it. This is a normal day in my life. Like it back in 2002.

I wake up in the morning around 2:00 PM and I'm determined not to use today at all. I go to job around 4. I'm a waiter. I eat a shit load of food. I start working. Restaurants open at 5-6. I start drinking my first beer around 8. I realized that today is not the day I'm going to stop using cocaine. It's going to be tomorrow,

but I still get my shit down. You know, I I have this so

are not allowed to use more than once an hour before I stop work, you know, so like 8:00 into the toilet, 9:00 into the toilet, 10:00 into the toilet. You set your watch off to me because

in like a few months into that, I needed more alcohol. So I took like a box of wine on my way into my locker. The cartoon wine, 12 bottles. I went in there and I can only take once an hour. You know, it doesn't really last an hour,

but not to me at least. I had to take shit loads because that's going to be a socialist. I think it's a really big one. It's so high. That takes wine

and I think half the bottle of wine this will be and I go out working again

like a 30 minutes in level for my getting the right. So when the hour is over and they're really drunk again,

I need a bigger one, take a bigger life. Oh, that was not a good idea. I need more wine.

Now it's 9:00 that the restaurant closes at the ones you know, like 10-11. But after 12:00, AM I allowed to do whatever I like? I can do how much coke I like. That's roughly 12 night time that's the case.

And then I go out to party. But this is a party for me sitting home, my girlfriend going to sleep, I'm sitting in a sofa

watching porn on a BHS. You remember these things. This was back in 2003, you know, like if you look important on the computer was like a picture going

when you get down, like fuck, she has to close something. I have to start over young. But it really sucked, you know,

Oh, she porn on the TV, like TV porn, TV porn like

with me. So like take a big line and like, oh, fuck you too much. Need some alcohol. But alcohol is out in the kitchen. I'm not allowed to drink and she doesn't know I'm using. So I go out to the kitchen

really slowly.

Thanks for that. Used to get to the kitchen. It's a small apartment. It's a two-bedroom, the one bedroom apartment. You know that I had to have a lot of drinks now

go back and like you're going to go to sleep. I was just going to watch a little bit more than then it wears off. Like now it's too late to go to sleep. I take another line. I fucking was too high again. I had to go to the kitchen. I think slower. And this was a part tonight, you know,

I guess So what I'm doing.

The end of 2002 I was like, yeah, it was New Year's resolution that would be the problem. I will not use anymore. 2003 I actually didn't use for like 7 days. I think, you know, my record being being cleaned from alcohol and drugs was three days. Actually, from the period when I was 17 until I was 27, three days.

My record of out of drugs was 10 days

using time.

I gotta go into the details about my my life was unmanageable. It sucked.

Couldn't do anything. I was sitting home in my girlfriend's house. I had loads of cocaine on me, had some painkillers, I had some other things to get me up and down and everything, like everything I needed. And I was running to the toilet, taking more and more and more and more and more, but it didn't fucking work anymore. It didn't matter how much I took, it didn't matter how much mix or whatever. It did not work anymore.

And

this one is somebody to come up and shoot me basically, because

this is had been my solution even since I was 13 years old and find the first alcohol into this this what's my solution? It was the only thing I had to make my life nice. Now that wasn't working as well

so I told my girlfriend I'm a cocaine addict I cannot stopped and I cried for like 8 hours straight that night and I went to my mother and tell told her I'm a coping person addict and I cannot stop. I went to my father and told him I'm cocaine at it. I can't say I had no solution I had no like plan on how to do this or anything. I just know that this was not working anymore and it was fucking killing me. I had so much depth. I had like

€30,000 in debt to

banks, to my stepfather that I've stole from him, from drug dealers, from criminals. I stole everything I saw. I sold cocaine, I worked all the time. I had money but still had all this stuff. I couldn't fucking handle it anymore. And I really thought that my life was over

and it was just as boring as I thought it would be. And they forced me to go to open treatment. And I went to this open treatment and I've been out of drugs for two weeks. When I came, there was like, yeah, good luck fixing me. That was my attitude, this therapist. Yeah, good luck.

When I've been there for like a month, I started to light my therapist, and you know what? She believed me. You know what? I was happy because that meant I was smarter than my therapist.

I was paying this woman to help me and I was lying to her. But I was the smart guy in the room, you know,

and I went there like for six months. I went to urine samples and all this all the time. And of the six months as to the how much more you examples do I need to take? He's like you don't need to take anymore now because it costs shit a lot of money and you've been clean for six months.

They also forced me to stop using alcohol because that apparently also was a drug and I only stopped using alcohol because my girlfriend and my therapist is some

mascopic conspiracy being forced me to do it. I had no intention to stop using alcohols. Give it two weeks, two months, whatever it takes until this heat is going down so I can start drinking. And

so I was not drinking. I was don't take any urine sample. So that has to mean that I'm

fixed. Yeah, I fixed. So I stopped going to therapy. And I felt the urge to show the world that I'm still the best. So I went to school, had top straight days all the way because I wanted them to love me. And I thought that would help me. If somebody loved me more than a show, that was good. I went to university to Royal Institute of Technology to study applied physics because they promised me it was the most demanding course in Sweden in college.

And I thought, if I can do that, surely people will love me enough so I will be happy again.

And you know what? They didn't help

and the only thing has changed was that it stopped using cocaine and all other mined out in substances. I didn't change anything else

and I continue to lie to my girlfriend and one day she came.

She noticed my life with a porn thing again. You know, had the duck

been a couple of years now, so now you could download porn to computers. Now you can actually watch it. It took some time as preparation but then it was there.

But the problem with that was it was fucking the computer so you could find it as well. You know like what is this stupid? And she was much brighter than me. She find my porn and she was really angry. You know, she had went to Co dependent treatment. So this time she said I do not tolerate this shit. You have to make a change like.

So they had to go to capital treatment. You know what that is? They said you had to go to 12 step meetings. Has that. Yeah, I can do that. So it's running around like meeting manual naa, whatever it was and was going to different meetings all the time because I didn't want anybody to know me and see me and they asked something from me. One of these meeting I saw it post from the wall said CA meeting Cocaine Anonymous

Thursday 7:00

see it is it meeting for me.

So I waited a couple of weeks, don't want to rush it, and I went to the meeting

and it was two guys there. Two guys, one has been sober for three months. The other guys were planning on getting sober and high, being sober for

I've been so before over here. So I was the best

and I thought I can do this shit.

No fucking plan of doing any steps or anything. I was sitting at that meeting. I was coming there every week, not every week, but my attention was every week and I was waiting for my time to share and there's like 3-4 guys so we're sharing for 20 minutes or something and I was just winding complaining, telling what my shitty week and like this is actually working. I feel better now

and I was looking at the steps at the wall. I've stepped on my life to come and manageable. Yeah, check. Came to believe now.

Well, it will come to me eventually.

It was one guy, his long hair. It was really cool. It was different, like

had a good job and as a cool wife and he had money and had all these shifts and I was like I wanted to be his friend. So I asked him try to be his friend and he asked me do you need a sponsor? And I said,

yeah, sure, we can start that way. And I went to his house. We took from, I thought, now we can have some cookies and we're going to talk about my life. And he took some some stupid book and he started to read. And I was at you taking notes. And I'm taking notes. And like, we sat for two hours reading. Yeah, this is good fun. Let's see you again next week. Like,

is he stupid? I thought we're going to be friends, you know, and you told me to do some things and call him. I called him and I thought he wanted me to call him like, because we're going to be friends. But he was like, how do you feel? How do you do?

Yes, I don't need him as a friend, so fuck this.

But at the end of 2005, something happened. This really cool guy applied to something called regional assembly, some CA thing and we, we got it to Sweden. So we had the first regional assembly 2006 in Sweden in February. And I was there like people were coming in, we doing something greater than ourselves. All the sudden we were planning some, we're building something, we're doing T-shirts, we're doing Flyers, we're like doing a hotel. And I'm a part of something. I've still fucked up my head though.

And like CA was really young. We had two meetings and like nobody,

some very few had got what this really was about when I came into this hotel and like people were coming from all over the world, from Holland and England and Germany and Hong Kong and they, they all was like really cool. They come, hi, are you blah, blah, blah. Everything that I wanted to be the exact like this cool guy. I wanted to be my friend. They're like, huh,

such a bad luck. Some guy, some people got it and some people don't got it. And I was starting to attend these different meetings. There

I was sitting at a share like this was a crazy fucking DJ living in some field somewhere and some, I don't know, going around Europe doing crazy things. And he's like, he was beaming. He was so happy. He was speaking about God and the steps and all these things like, oh fuck, it was really good for you. Sing for me.

The guy like the scout guy had a workshop on the 12 steps. I didn't understand

this is like we were like 40 people in the room and I think 3 guys are down the step and have any questions. It was dead silent. Okay, we didn't have the pose. Anybody in this room doesn't have a sponsor,

and I raised my hand. I was the only guy raising my hand, that Roman.

I thought, I regret this. I didn't want to do it. But he said, well, I'm going to speak to you after this meeting. And I said, oh, fuck. And he came up to me like, how come you don't have a sponsor? I don't know. It's like, how long have you been sober? Been sober for two years at the time. So I told him three years.

I'm going to show you like I got this down like

Then he asked me a question which changed my life forever. He has that looked me into I and said like but are you happy

in fact with somebody that kicked him in stomach? Like what the fuck does that have to do with anything?

I've been sober for two years. Do you know how fucking great I am? Are you asking about happiness?

Yeah, and he said I'm going to get you a sponsor. And he got me a sponsor

from England to Sweden carrying the message. All these people got me sponsored and at this time I would want to sponsor. I actually wanted to hear what he had to say. And I listened when he read the book to me. And I did this stuff. It took me two months and I'd be sober for over 2 years and my life has been pissed. And now within two months I did his steps and I've been reading this book over and over again. I know everything I wrote.

Read the Bible just to fuck with people that quoted the Bible. You know?

So I got this. When we came to the questions, I was prepared. Like, are you now willing to believe that it might be something bigger than yourself and I

Yeah, but like, it's a yes or no question.

And yeah, I heard yes to be moving on.

Or you came to step three, you're now willing to

went down on my niece and this month that's the prey. And I felt something. I don't know what it was, but I felt something. I came back with my list. We look for my resentments, my fears, and I come to my last fear,

which was not being good enough.

I had understood the concept of God and that God

is almighty. He does not do mistakes and he created me, which

have to mean that I'm fucking perfect.

If you want to argue on artists, I'll be here all weekend.

But the only way it can be if God is almighty. He created me. I'm going to be exactly as God wanted me to be. Can't be another way.

And I started to laugh when I looked at this, my last fear. And right there and that time I understood that

I decide if I'm going to be happy or miserable. I decide how I'm going to feel inside. Nobody else can decide that but me. I truly understood it right there and then that I am responsible for my own life. That was the relief I was so happy with. I tried to change all of you all the time and it was a hard work, like managing all you guys and trying you to do this. And the only thing I had to fix was myself.

And I can do that. I can fix myself. That's not a problem.

I went home. I did my 6th and 7th step more to God

and for the first time

I felt something when this crazy scouch guy asked me if I was happy. I felt hope there might be a solution to this. When this happened to me, I did my fifth step. I felt faint. I knew this will work. I fucking knew it. And I done my 6th and 7th step.

I felt the courage to actually change my life because yes, because I realized that I'm responsible for my life. I still had the wrong girlfriend. I still had a shit in life. I still was at Royal Institute of Technology doing some stupid course in physics that I don't fucking care about.

I still had all the shit in my life, but I had a curse now to change it as well. In just a couple of weeks after this read new assembly in February, doing the steps February, March in April, May, I went to see Auk Brighton 2006 and I went into room as this with this old people.

Everybody was so happy, everybody was so free, the extension, the excitement and I could like I felt that was a part of it and I knew what they had and I wanted to give everything I had. I didn't sleep the whole fucking week and I was drank bread, but I went to every marathon media Mr. play home. But I didn't

because I had this notion and the courage to change it. I went home to my girlfriend said I'm sorry. I love you very much, but not this way. We have to stop. I gave her the apartment. I dropped out of college. I told my mom like I'm sorry mom, I love you very much, but I had to do this. I lived in a really shitty apt. I worked in a restaurant, got some money. I went to Thailand, worked as a diver and a climber,

but I was happy for the first time in my life.

I was going to the beach, doing my things and I was like truly, truly happy. I went to Hong Kong to visit some see you guys in Hong Kong. I went back, I went to cruise in LA to meet some people, celebrate, see 25 years and they told me should go to retreat in England. A year after went to retreat in England. Year after I went to new convention like I have the solution again, the one that lost with its cocaine didn't work anymore. But now this time the solution was a 12 steps, the recovery, the CA.

And the more I did of it, the better it got. Not just this, that the cocaine fucking

betrayed me. This just keeps on coming, you know? Let me soccer for 12 years of standing here again and still getting better and better and better.

It's just because I continue to do this things, this really simple program and I had this fellowship all around the world that wants to help me that I want to help and I have everything I need here. I had a problem this week and I don't have so much with steps and anything. I got help now this weekend from a guy I have a sponsor in the USI have a sponses like do you know how fortunate we are?

Do you realize a fortune we are that we have this

program recovery. They have all these people from around the world that just want to help us. They have the exact same problem as we have that have the exact same solution that we have. And all of them just want to help you and me and I want to help everybody. It's not many people that have this fellowship in the world. I promise you, we are the lucky ones.

I was listening to Eric this morning. I don't know if he's here. It's a really good workshop and he said like

California is really big in Phoenix and have all these meetings. When I came to Sweden to see if we had one meeting, it was not very big and I met Terry Murphy at this cruise and he was so or envy. You got to build this fellowship now in Sweden that you have to be there from the beginning. I was like stupid cunt

if I had the Jew guys.

No, but you know what? He was right.

Now we have 50 meters. In Sweden we have it at 12 different cities.

Yeah,

they had their own conventions for six straight years on.

We had three retreats, the same as I went to there.

You know what? We're going to have the World Convention in Sweden 2019.

I

and I have the previous to be a part of that

from the most just this view of us envying you guys and like wanted to be the few and I was sending emails to royal service offers. You need to help us. And like with what I don't know,

Missiesta

random SOS signal,

I just wanted to have, have, have have. I was sober, yes, I was recovered, yes, but I don't did not realize what this is, what CA world is, what what the fellowship is and how this working.

And I see a UK as giving me personal so much as giving California Sweden so much has been hundreds of people coming over to Sweden to spread the message to hell to suffering addicts in Sweden. And we will would not be where we are today, but not without the help of CA UK. And I'm like truly, truly grateful, thankful for all the help I've been given from this fellowship.

Thank you.

And as we growing now, I hope and think that we will try to help the new fellowships coming around in Europe, trying to make this bigger, better,

he asked. Everything it needs to be,

but it's still not easy. It says you have to

practice this principle in all of your affairs. It's not like I got something that day that worked for me the whole life. No,

I understood that day that I am responsible for my own life. But the work I have to put into it is a continuous work that's continue every day since then and it has to continue again. But I don't mind because my life is just getting better and better and better and I am happy.

I am happy. Where is this Scouch guy is a hero.

I am happy

and it's really hard like to be always on the spiritual ladder all the time, but I try. But when I'm at convention retreat or something,

you need to take the moment.

It's not so often you have had the privilege to be a room with 1000

thousands of guys that had the same problem as you, the same solutions you, that loves you, all of them.

So juice is weakened now. Juice is convention to meet some new people, to get some help to some problem you didn't know you had. I don't care if you've been soaked for two days like 30 years, if you leave here without a new contact, a new number, a new Facebook friend, you have not done this right.

Go out there and meet some new people. Help a new newcomer, help an old timer hate. Help somebody get the connection.

Practice these principles of all of your affairs. This is a unique opportunity to go to the next level in your recovery, In my recovery. Use it

because there is a solution and we can recover. This is working. It's working for millions and millions of people all over the world

for so many years

and it's sometimes slowly and sometimes fast, but it is always come to us if we work for it. And this

it's an opportunity and a chance to do it fast. This weekend, use it. And I love you all. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you, Teresa.