The 23rd annual convention in Birmingham, UK

Yay, my name is Karen. I'm an addict,

so we're going to start this meeting.

By the way, are there any other present?

Good one. Please turn off your mobile phone to silence anything else that might bleep, buzz or ring whilst this meeting is in progress. We have been asked by the hotel to please respect the no smoking policy and to clarify that vaping is also not permitted in any of the meeting rooms or communal areas. OK Anonymity Statements Anonymity is one of the most important issues in the structure of Cocaine Anonymous.

The 11th tradition of Cocaine Anonymous states that our public policy relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion. We always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, television, and films. We know from experience that many people with drug problems might hesitate to turn to CA for help if they thought their problem might be discussed publicly,

even inadvertently, by others. Newcomers should be able to seek help with complete assurance that they that their identities

will not be disclosed to anyone outside the Fellowship.

Traditionally, CA members have always taken care to preserve the anonymity at the public level. The CA member may, for various reasons, break anonymity deliberately at a public level. This is a matter of personal choice and conscience. The Fellowship as a whole has no control over such deviations from tradition. It is clear, however, that those who break tradition do not have the approval of the overwhelming majority of its members.

We earnestly request that those gathered here honor this tradition of anonymity. If you should happen to recognize someone here who identifies him or herself as an addict, please keep that knowledge strictly to yourself.

We request that no record be made of this convention, either by photography, moving or still, or by videotape. Please do not take pictures or bring cameras into the main meeting moves. And I love this one.

If you feel the need to take pictures, please place your subjects against the wall. Go outside or to your rooms.

Please respect the anonymity of others to your rooms. Wow, thank you.

In a few moments I'm going to invite the CM member to share their experience. In this case, he's experienced strength and hope with us. But before that, can we please take a few moments of silence to remember the still suffering addicts

and my primary purpose?

Thank you

and I've asked Peter from Scotland to read the preamble.

Hi, my name is Peter, I'm an addict. The preamble Cocaine Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from their addiction. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using cocaine and all other made on substances.

There are no Jews of fees for membership. We are fully self supporting through our own contributions. We are not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution. We do not wish to engage in any controversy and we neither endorse nor oppose any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay free from cocaine and all other main substances and to help others achieve the same freedom. We use the 12 steps of recovery because it has already been proven that the 12 step recovery program works.

Thank you, Peter.

We welcome any member or any members of the media

and or professional community to our convention, but we ask you please do not approach individual members of CA. Please address any questions to the CAUK Public Information Representative.

If the Pi Rep is here, please stand.

Thank you. Yay.

And I've also asked Agatha to read who CCA member.

Yay.

Thank you very much.

Thanks. My name is Agam, an addict

how ACA member while in the while the name Cocaine Anonymous, my soundtrack specific, we wish to assure you that our program is not. Many of our members did a lot of cocaine, others used only a little, and some never even tried coke. We have members who drank only on occasion, those who casually refer to themselves as drunks and others who are full blown Alcoholics.

Lots of us use a wide variety of mind altering substances.

Whether we focused on a specific substance or use whatever we could get our hands on, we had one thing in common. Eventually we all reach reach a point where we could not stop. According to C, as third tradition, the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using cocaine and all other mind altering substances.

Whatever you might have been using, if it let you to this meeting, you're probably in the right place. Over time, virtually every single one of us has realized that our real problem is not cocaine

or any specific track, it is the disease of addiction. It can be tempting to focus on our differences rather than our similarities, but this can blind us to potential source of support in our recovery. As we hear other members stories, the most important question to ask ourselves is not would I have parted with these people, but rather do these people have a solution that can help me stay sober? We encourage you to stick around and listen with an open mind.

With its all inclusive third tradition and first step, Cocaine Anonymous welcomes anyone with a drug or alcohol problem and offers a solution.

Are not drug specific and Cocaine Anonymous is not a drug specific fellowship. It doesn't matter to us if you drank or what type of drugs you used. If you have a desire to stop, you're welcome here.

Thank you. And I have asked Martin to Martin to read We can recover because we can.

My name is Martin. I'm an addict.

We can recover.

Welcome to Cocaine Anonymous. We are all here for the same reason, our inability to stop using cocaine and allow the mind altering substances. The first step forward is admitting that there is a problem. The problem as we see it consists of an obsession of a mind and an analogy of the body. The obsession is a continued and irresistible thought of cocaine in the next high. The allergy creates an absolute inability to stop using once we begin.

We wish to assure you that there is a solution and that recovery is possible. It begins with abstinence and continues with practicing the 12 steps of recovery one day at a time. Our program, the Trial Steps of Cocaine Anonymous, is the means by which we move from the problem of drug addiction to the solution of recovery. One, we admitted we were powerless over cocaine and a lot of mind altering substances that our lives have become unmanageable.

Two came to believe that the power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 3

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

Made a searching, a fearless moral inventory of ourselves,

Admitted to God, to ourselves, into another human being. The exact nature of our wrongs.

We're entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings,

made a list of all persons we had armed and became willing to make amends to them all.

Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would ensure them or others

continue to take personal inventory, and when we were run promptly admitted, it

sought to prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us in the power to carry that out.

Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to addicts and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Cocaine Anonymous is a spiritual program, not a religious one. NCA. We believe each individual can choose a higher power of his or her own understanding, in short, a God of his or her own. No one comes into Cocaine Anonymous to find gods. We came into these rooms to get rid of a terrifying drug habit. Look around this room, you are surrounded by people who came as a last resort. We came into these rooms emotionally, financially and spiritually bankrupt. We have experienced all sorts of tragedies as a result of

cocaine, drugs and or alcohol. We have left many of the same horrors you have. Yet today we are free from the misery, terror and pain of addiction. Maybe some of us were worse off than you. Maybe some of us didn't hit his lower bottom as you. Still, the fact remains that those of us who are recovering have come to believe that a higher power of our own understanding can restore us to sanity. There is a solution. We can recover from addiction one day at a time. It's possible to live a life filled with hope, fate and courage.

Thanks Martin.

Tradition 7. Sorry, yes, Tradition 7. See the other page. It says here. Because we've changed the format, we've asked Carl to come up here at the podium to read the traditions. While these are being read, our Serenity Keepers are going to pass the buckets in keeping with the 7th edition. I read it all wrong. Right to pass the book. It's in keeping with Tradition 7. Please. Let's do this as quietly as possible. The conscious of this convention committee. CEA UK23

is only to pass her tradition 7 buckets around during the main speaker meetings.

We want your money honey, that's what it's about. Thank you.

Hello everyone. My name is Carl. I'm a real cocaine addict.

The 12 traditions one. Our common welfare should come first. Personal recovery depends on California unity. 2 For our group purposes with one ultimate authority, a loving God as he may express himself in our group conscious. Our leaders are of a trusted service. They do not govern. 3 The only requirement for CA membership is a desire to stop using cocaine and all other mine operating substance for each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or CA as a whole. 5 Each group has the one primary purpose to carry

that it could still suffers. 6 ACA group are never endorsed financial in the California name to any related facilities or outside enterprises. Lease problems of money, property or prestige diverters from our primary purpose. 7 Every C eight group ought to be fully self supporting declining outside contributions. 8 Cocaine Anonymous shall remain forever non professional, but our service centers may employ special workers

non CA. As such, I'll never be organized, but we may create service boards

or committees directly responsible for those they serve. 10 Cocaine Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues, hence the California name. I'll never be drawn in the public controversy. 11 Our public relation policy is based on attraction rather than promotion. We need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, television, and film. 12 Anonymity is a spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personality.

OK, Before handing the meeting over to Peter, I've known you for several years and what I know of you is you are always of service to Cocaine Anonymous. Always. And

always, let's say, as a soldier in the trenches, as a soldier in the trenches, you know, with the sleeves rolled open. And this is what you do. And tonight, you get to stand here on the podium and share your experience, strength and hope with us. So the meeting is yours.

I.

Hi everyone.

I'm Peter and I'm a cocaine.

Yeah,

try and speak English.

I'm not from these parts.

I was actually born in London.

I knew that I kept some meat. But yeah, I'd like to thank, thank you all for coming in here to listen to me tonight.

It's an honor to get a chance to do something like this. Thanks for asking me. You know,

I never taught in a million years.

You know

the centenary of these toys and where would you be sharing it?

CAC air convention, you know, but I'm

earlier on I went up to the room just to see was this really going out live? And it is

so luckily it's after 10:00. So if if my foreign accent comes out with words that might be a offensive,

Can you hear me now?

Yeah, so

as I said, this is gone out live and I'd just like to say hello to

Mrs. S

I'm sure she's listening. And thanks for standing by me all these years, you know, and especially before.

No,

I don't know what's going to come out tonight.

A couple of times during the week, Mrs. S said you're not going to write anything down.

Up to a few weeks ago, I thought I was actually asked to do something in a small room someplace. That's what my head said anyway. I have no problem with that. I don't know. A couple of times at the conventions one year, nobody turned up. It was great.

And

few weeks ago someone said congratulations, you're the main speaker. And I was like, yeah, so I phoned someone. I said really?

So yeah, I mean here I am. I did actually write something. I was telling Matt to travel with me today. Actually the other night I brought down 3 words. God help me.

The only other thing I I actually have

that's written and she gave it to me last night. My granddaughter, we were out for a family dinner last night, All, all of us, the whole the whole bunch. And she gave me this little thing like don't be nervous, Take deep breaths, look at the wall like, and she's aging on a really like hit home. You know, I thought, yeah, so I read that actually tonight before I came down.

Anyway, my story.

I grew up in the West of Ireland. That's why I got the funny accent

I used to be.

I usually say this when I'm sharing it at meetings. You know I used to be

align manipulating,

cheating.

Tevin

taken alcoholic

and today I don't drink and take toes,

but I have this I have I have this 12 step programs. The rest of it I was in. That's what's important. You know, without, without us, God, I don't know where I'd be.

Not to make it a war story, but for ID purposes.

The bad thing is, you know, when I go to, I've gone to different fellowships by accident or whatever.

Now what I mean by that is I mean a couple of times I got phone calls to do chairs

and

one only a few months ago and I've turned up at this. I've actually thinking what I'm going to say. And it wasn't a fellowship. I thought it was at all so.

So that kind of put them

of the of the of the different things I've been to. The frightening thing with that that I found with myself is like, I can

relate to lots of

lots. Whatever silly, sick, mad stuff it is. I'm kind of thinking, wow,

I'm there,

we'll come back. You know,

growing up I was raised, as I said, in the West of Ireland. Nice quiet at the Dart

lovely family life

N

to force we I mean, I know from a young age I think I know to manipulate my moral.

I was like her passion.

But the first major thing to his,

our family was she died when I was about seven, I think 7:00 or 8:00.

And that was like the end of the world. You know,

there was four of us

and two younger sisters and I've another sister that's a year younger than me. We're very close today, but

at the time it was like at the end of the world, you know, And

I remember was old enough, I couldn't really figure out what was after happening and why did it happen and

remember question and things like,

so it's brought up to go to mass and stuff like that. But at that time, at the time was like that this is wrong.

And if there is a God in what you know, why did he, why did he make this happen? You know,

and

after that,

it was good, you know, the family got together. They've done the best they could to raise us, my two younger sisters and to my grandmother's. My father tried to raise me and my next sibling,

and it was all right. You know,

those few years I can just vaguely remember, you know,

I didn't like feelings. I had them full on. I didn't want to talk about her,

didn't want to hear anyone. Someone asked me about her, didn't

and

I'd started, I think, I think it was about 9:00 or 10:00. And

as there was no, you could say my father worked hard.

It wasn't around a lot, but I became very. I went out a lot at a young age,

became very streetwise quick

and it was around in. I experienced that drink could make me feel better

and drink gave me courage to even talk about my mother.

Drink any courage to be

part of

and all I kind of I was attracted to a more older couple of years older generation and

wild and you can encourage to get things that I wanted not about Steve and

and that's you know that was basically it you know

was well aware of drink and drugs for that matter.

Cannabis was a horrible that was grown

and I didn't think that was a drug, but that just made you feel better when you were too drunk or whatever. But

that lifestyle that I was leaving,

that ended up in situations where I basically had to leave Ireland very young, between court cases, jails, whatever.

At this stage of my life, I, I was, well, I knew how to change the way I felt. Basically,

there's many, many, many stories even in those few years from a young age, you know, I'll leave that for a book.

But I had to get out of Ireland. I, I came up, I came back over here was 15. How I remember it well is because

or three weeks afterwards when I 2016 I was able to get the dole. I know that's a man thing but

it was like a wage

and I think I was the last one in the country to get the dole at 16 because there was a Friday and the following Monday the thing was changed to 18.

Now applauding disabled. It was very important. It was very important in my life.

I'll tell you why.

Vodka.

Thanks for the doctor, Russell.

No,

this, this, this new thing I'd learned, you know, and

I just to go and sign my name

and I could get money and I had my first flat.

So basically, you know,

I've killed myself and

even my 29 year old, I think he's very young. So thinking about it and looking at it that way, she's, I was very young in London, you know, in a flat

learn and

having this, you know,

attitude about him getting what I want, however I wanted it. And then no one could get it by signing a piece of paper and stuff like that and have a flat.

And it started there, you know,

my drinking and driving then, you know, was mad.

I can honestly say, you know,

I think I spent many, many years in blackout. You know, every now and again I get a flashback of something or other, but

most of those years it was like,

take enough, the troop stations that you wake up

sleeping. How many police stations in which parts of London you'll wake up in Dunford, Drunken, disorderly, stupid things like that. You know,

getting back from pubs all over, knocked, so knocked and salted a river.

It was just a mad lifestyle. In the meantime, I used to go back along, cause trouble back at home.

Polite.

It never dawned me at any stage then that I had a drink problem, or I was greedy or manipulator or

didn't know what a drug addict was.

DM

it was around that time I think it was 21. I've often heard in the rooms I took a hostage,

as it said, you know, I got together with my first partner,

we three kids.

And as I said earlier, you know, even those years it was just mad, you know, some days you're drinking at the end of the street wouldn't bother me. I'm sure they remembered us those days, you know,

Other days I was running a pub.

Never forget that one. You know, it was mad. Went from I was actually drinking in a park, met someone I knew, kicked a bottle away and then handed everything was all right. I was just sending myself in the park. And he says you're doing anything tonight, you want to work? I'm running a pub and of course I do.

Next thing I'm walking in pubs

Brilliant.

Our dim lads are dead now from drinking or looking back.

That led to my my ex partner.

She ended up getting a job in the pub as well

and I didn't like that

She she reminded me. You're one in EastEnders, Angie or whatever,

but

I got angry at all that time as well, so she buried me.

And then there was this poor watch scheme. So I was barreled at every pub in East London. My picture and everything was embarrassing,

but that's basically, you know, that was it. You know, we split up then.

Oh yeah, I must say as well. You know, one thing I did do those last few years and probably related in a while,

especially with the people, because the big book to me is like I'm an electrician, you see, and I've got a regulation book for for things I do in electrics. And why do they go hand in hand together? Is like, I'm glad I was an alcoholic because I spent five years going to school learning to be doing all these extra courses of electrics. But the reality ever was that I couldn't be stopped from going out. It was like,

and I couldn't wait to do the next course, you know, so

I wasn't an alcoholic. I don't think that would have happened and I probably wouldn't be electrician. I probably wouldn't be here today.

Well, you know, moving on, moving on. You know,

there was lots of

periods in those few years as well. You know, things happened.

Bad teens,

things that would like

I'm sure make a normal person stop. You know,

I've been accident in that period as well in a car crash and a good friend of mine that I grew up had died in my arms but didn't, even though it was my fault. And I, I used that one for a few years afterwards.

Didn't stop me, you know,

And if I'm honest, it didn't even stop me. Drink tracking

And it was also that period when I witnessed some profiler dying of an overdose one night in the squad

and we all just left him down, you know.

Didn't stop me looking back, you know, as I said,

it was mad those few years.

We didn't mean that the end we split open.

I moved on.

Move back up to North London

and strangely enough,

woman I'm married to now.

I didn't say at the beginning of the chair but I

being with her years ago

and

we split up. Split up back then

And how would I Polish

while my ex are pregnant? Basically I don't the honourable thing. I went back to my ex,

but after after we split up,

definitely she came back into my life. It's just again, I'll leave it for the book. I could spend it that boy. You did hear us. But it's like a love story. But

we got in contact again.

At this stage of my life, though, I knew, you know, I'd been kinda. I had a few moments of like,

I'm in a bedsit, not London. I have three kids. Where am I going?

If I stay away from the top shelf and just drink that,

I won't touch any powder stuff, blah blah. And I was trying to play the control game, you know, I still didn't dawn on me at any stage that I had a problem.

I knew

I know something was wrong, but I honestly believed that I'm better than that. I couldn't. I couldn't solve this, you know,

And now that I've met up again, I had this great vision that

that's what I do. I'll move on to this country,

move over to the Middle East because over there they don't have pubs and I won't be able to get any here and life will be good, you know,

And that's what I don't. I don't think I'd arrive to the place a week

and I think I'd found

the worst places with maggots. Wouldn't cry,

it was just mad.

We got married even we went off to Cyprus to get married. I was just drunk all the time. That's this road

when we came back after our honeymoon and I vanished for a week or something. Few nights, I don't know,

put on

it was just session after session

and the odd bit of in between of shame and Remorsel and sorry, and that won't happen again. I don't know what happened. You won't believe who I met,

but I was stand her

relies. Well, maybe something isn't right.

I know what it is. It's this stupid place.

There's some too much song and I don't even speak the language and I miss my other kids. That's why I'm gone like this. So I thought I'd move back here, you know,

so that I can,

she fathered me give up a great job. Most as well.

We had a daughter,

Leanne, I think she was

couple of months. She followed me back here, gave up her job or flat everything

and again I wasn't back here too long and I was back up to the same antics again

and drink drivers.

Didn't someone one night said something horrible to me and probably says you're going to kill Someone Like You did before and was like what? How dare you say something like that?

Really hurt my feelings again, you know?

But in the most amazing thing happened.

Who's the vodka

now? Even though, even though over the years, you know,

I was well aware of what cocaine was,

I was more of a speed

in his 90s, cheaper. I could get you cook in.

I talk you into getting new cocaine because I rip you off.

But I never, you know, I've never really.

Part of me is sorcerer, you know, I used to just take whatever was going, you know, I just got too pissed or whatever.

But this particular time I'll never forget another Irish thing. It was Saint Patrick's Day and I was in this pub in North London and someone said try some of this.

But I taught to myself. Wow, I've landed

even the way I taught that different

and I had this like in

intuition, whatever the fuck it was. It was like

the fight. The fight had been on this all my life instead of being so stingy and mean

this none of this shit would have happened to me and I I'd be OK

and that's what I don't accept your man and haul him over again. I said don't going at me

and he did.

I said go ahead and get me another one

and I think the next day I said why don't you just get me 3 1/2 of them Better

Together.

You know, looking me,

I have a habit of getting a job. Sometimes I don't know what it is.

People actually in Plainview supposed to be good at what I do. Well, I am actually.

But you know, I had money. I had a good job at the time and

and that was kind of it. You know, it was like the steps, you know, I kind of handed my life over to cocaine, you know,

and about

So I thought

it worked great.

I implied Lords of addicts

came up with great ideas, like when we used to get bonds of money. Why don't I just buy a big bag?

We deal withdrawal, wages, things like that. Madness. And you know it won't.

There's your wages. Let's sniff this.

And I got away with it. I didn't know I wasn't killed,

you know, things like that, you know, and,

and then the type of person I am, even with the drinking, that's how looking back, you know, when I said earlier on, from a pound bench to working in a pub,

I did walk in the pub game many years ago as well. As a matter of fact, I was the youngest guy I think ever to work in the Chronicle,

just turn 17. I told him I was 19

and that was made.

But because of the way I grew up, as I explained earlier, what I done in the crown and prick borders was I got friendly and gave three points to the houndless looking meanest people in there And all of a sudden you know I'm dare looking out for me because I'm here. You know I don't want to go to him. The governor couldn't understand that I was actually running public bound for big men. Couldn't walk it before, but anyway starting to go off and then

DM the type of person I was. You know, even when I dragged in pubs, I'd always drink near the service hatch,

get to know the governor. And the reason behind that was because when the Pope closed was like, you know, The Afters or whatever.

And the same was when I was buying, buying the drugs.

I got sick of buying them off people in probes, you know, I want to know where it was coming from. Them as by Lords

and that was good. And at this time I, I kind of,

I became happy to love.

I used to move it from heaven, so to speak. So

there was times I didn't even touch and I like to work.

Was going delusional, you know, I got friendly with a block. He was to send me around in my van just dropping stuff off. I loved it. Of course I was taking bits off it. You know people were ringing up saying this isn't right.

I couldn't understand. How the fuck can you tell that it's a small? They can order that for fox sake.

Me. Innocent me,

you know. Never forget one particular night

I was at this person.

Yeah, I could see your man was angry, but I was so white. Or trying to keep my

It's mine, you know,

but he would away the tone's were going at Hotfoot and I'm not going to

you know, in our life, you know, man using me to phone anyway, it was my man on the phone. He was, he said. I want you to answer one question now, he says. Now you answer. It

determined how you're gonna get over this one,

he says. Did you take any other Falcon stolen?

And I taught, and I thought he's serious because I've been lying to him all the time. And you believe me?

And this time I said, you know what? I said I did. He said so much. I said don't fucking know it.

Give the phone back none. The man's talking away and they're all looking me like Jesus.

I was picked up and thrown over the place

and went to see my maid afterwards.

I thought you were going to hate me falsely because you know, he said you could have been killed. But anyway,

that's the way it was. You know,

at this stage I wasn't working.

I was seriously considering the business in this white powder.

I was even having fantasies about

more than to Colombia

relisted and that's the truth

and my Good Wife who's still listening. I hope she she had moved back to her place and

she wasn't really interested in me. I think at this stage

I've gone back down to divorce, but that was the next thing that was going to happen.

This was all around 911 to 2001,

and it was a bad few months, you know,

those few months. I mean, I ended up, that's why I said cocaine saved my life. You know,

the crack, the monitor torch that put endorsed few months. I was bang on that stuff. You know, I used to,

for a while,

go to places and drop some Charlie off and take the hell. I'm not going to look at it.

What's he doing wasting that public order?

But you know,

I ended up in a bad place,

moved out again, stayed in the crack house.

You know,

either I ripped off. He kicked the door and looked down. One night,

started shouting to people. They don't want me to get out and get back to your wife and kids and stuff like that. It was just messy

and to be honest, at this stage I still didn't believe I had a problem. You know

Underpass won't be no Mr. I've been on track

and a bit of heroin,

that's the problem.

I'll be all right once I can sort this out.

I was helped. That was the period where

and actually so home that you know this shit is real because I was making genuine attempts to stop.

I can honestly stay there but I wasn't like I was only about

three months doing that, doing the brown,

but I caught talking myself above my own house. My wife must say I should come back and she took piggy on me

and said you need to do something, you know. But thank God for the Internet at the time, you know,

I googled. I like that world. I've got a cocaine problem and it brought me to to see a website and

that was the start of my journey. You know, I didn't get it first time

I used to go up. Used to be an excuse in the beginning. I used to drive up to North London.

I think the first chair I ever had was Scouser, I tell. He's a fucking liar.

I didn't know when everyone started hoping and things like that.

There's someone else. I think it was

down, the answer said to me. He was another one of the first people I met, he says. You're a wider, aren't you? No,

but I didn't get it. You know I didn't first time.

Well, I must say, you know,

I related to the stories. That's what attracted me in the beginning, you know,

and like I used

to

the fact of going to her college to do my electrician thing. I used the CA meetings to I can have used up. I know I have used up on the way back. That's better.

But inevitably it ended up in that black house from London, you know, and it got worse and worse,

I admit it, in United, you know, I have a problem. I need to sort it out. I kept going to the meetings

and I didn't get a sponsor at the beginning, but

I believe that I wanted in people. That's talks about in the big book, you know, I could be taken out. So I don't know. Rehab

fog lifted.

I have my first experience then of how this thing works. You know, I thought, wow, what's happening here because I just done this talking with detox. I was the best boy leaving the place. I got recovery there. It was a 12 step place as well and I'd been in the fellowship already and I was going back there now to do it properly and I only left the place two hours and having a drink

forgot completely.

And

I'm going to get back to you in any way. You know,

there was a romantic opportunity thing happened to me at the airport, you know, 'cause my wife was really upset. You know, I said you might as well stay there. What's the point? So I got really pissed again. I couldn't understand it.

I remember at the airport something happened and I was really upset. You know, in order to build this boat, come up to me at the airport, you know, sitting there looking at a point to climb my eyes on.

I've told you, Sir, I do. A fucking American.

We've just turned out he was happened to be. I was tending a bit of my story. What happened, you know, and you,

he was 23 years or something.

I was thinking how did he come down?

So he basically said put that away, go back to the UK and go to meetings and that's what I done.

And I must admit

I've often declared 590 day ships. I didn't get it. I didn't know what it was to get. I got a sponsor. I don't understand a big step forward for me. It was huge.

I met a blocked in at one of these conventions, you know, and I'd heard his tapes

and he says to me, you're like, you reminded me of stuff that he talked about about on page 30. We learned to fully concede, he says, and he looks like you're learning the how bad and all. I thought, OK, it's mountains.