Carrying the message at the June NOLA workshop in New Orleans, LA

This section is going to be about carrying the message where and how to find drunks and how to handle a wet drunk. OK, is this direct enough?

Arden Alcoholic.

Yeah,

I, I go down to to a plantation yesterday and, and, and with John Connor because he wants to show me a plantation and some of the history of Louisiana and, and

and I get a tour

and

some horrible stuff

and

but it's there.

And

you know,

I don't know why I said that, but it really did something to me to see that stuff.

I was basically felt miserable.

The topic now is carrying the message and, and, and, and. Yeah. And yeah, on the. The reason I said that was because he showed me an e-mail that he had sent that central office in New Orleans had sent out that I was a spiritual giant.

And, and, and that, you know, when I got

AI, the explanation that I got was just that, you know, some idiot just went to central office and, and to give some details about this session and said, yeah, it's a spiritual giant. He's a founder of X-ray speakers. And, and that's, that's part of the story. And I, I didn't do that. And it doesn't really have anything to do with recovery as such,

but you can carry the message in a lot of different ways. A lot of different ways.

I am anonymous.

Who I am doesn't matter. It

just doesn't matter

the guy that is there in the room, be that our treatment facility, a book study at 1/2 Warehouse or a meeting at a prison or,

or just a guy that that that

you know, it's good to talk.

Who does a running tackle on the newcomer as he comes in?

Yeah, and that's an art. We we have something called soccer or foot. We call it football. You know, compare with hand deck in the States

and and and that that running tackle is is can be really brutal and you are OK, it's OK and the rules to break their their their leg.

You when you when you talk to a newcomer, he, you know,

like, like the book says in one place and I'm getting a headache from from the glasses and that stuff. So I won't look it up, but

he use everyday language

and and that is in the 4th chapter of the big book. Use everyday language. The expression in, in, in, in Icelandic. And this is an expression in, in, in Icelandic. Like that, most people will, will understand and have heard Tala E Lansko to speak Icelandic to speak clearly

and, and, and people will say, well, they didn't pay back the money. So we went all over to their place and we told them in Icelandic and and you know, be clear.

Do you know this? Is this

this program stuff is

It's just like the bread. It only acquires meaning with the actual eating.

When you If you tell them what to do, they won't. If you told them what you did, they will,

but it doesn't need to be

even that.

You know, I, I have learned a lot more from the guys that didn't make it

than from the guys that made it.

And

the, the, the, the method I like the best is being there for the newcomer with my most precious commodity time.

You know, it's not. It's a lot more important. At the same time that I assume that the newcomer is crazy.

The Big Book assumes that the reader is intelligent.

It does.

It does if you if you if you you know he he Bill is assumes he doesn't talk down to the alcohol. Well, he didn't after the guys came and and fixed the chapter 5 and stuff. You know, the multi LED version is interesting

and

he doesn't talk down to the newcomer. You are here to you know, we have this program and this is basically here. So we don't have Chinese whispers, you know that we just do don't do something stupid, you know, and people do stupid stuff. You know, in a, you know, people charge for fifth steps because it's a better quality fifth step.

And, and, and people have like in,

in Oslo, there are there, there are groups that don't allow you to raise your hand at a meeting until you've been two years over.

And I am interesting. I'm interested in the guys that can't raise their hand at those meetings and don't make it. Those are my guys. Those are my guys. I like the I like the crazies

because raising your hand

when they ask if there is there any anybody willing to be a sponsor? Notice that they don't ask is anybody qualified to be a sponsor?

They they, they just don't, they never, they never anywhere do is anybody willing to be a sponsor? Do you have time? Have you fucked up your life? Have you done something about it? Off you go, you know.

No, because because I, I assume that the, that the, that the, the, the, the newcomer is not,

you know, he's nuts. He wouldn't be coming to a a or wouldn't be at the halfway house if he wasn't nuts. You know, there's some broken stuff there. He's not just about his bad taste and booze. You know, it's, it's, it's about a lot more stuff and,

and you have to carry the message. You know, you, you know, to be a version of the big book.

You know, I have, you know, I'm sponsored brain square pants.

Back in the day I thought this was all about vain glory and, and I could quote you from the Icelandic book,

you know, from this red version here I had it highlighted with a system I had, I had pink and yellow and green and blue

for different stuff. I had side notes and stuff and

I was doing pretty good and I was,

but I need to be able to speak to the newcomer. So when I approach a newcomer, I will try to like the big book says, it's and and and and and. Working with others is period proof information. You don't need to know anything. You don't need to know anything. If you're doing this for the first time, just read the instructions.

Stuff like

perhaps you're not acquainted with any drinkers who want to recover.

You can easily find some, find some by asking a few doctors. Ministers go to take a meeting to say yes when when that that that

well, direct translation would be

someone who has ambitions for other other A members tells you to take a meeting to to to 1/2 warehouse or a treatment centre or a prison or whatever. Try say yes. You won't know what happened if you never go.

And

you know there are a lot of we are lucky today. You know Clarence Snyder needs to go to a bum house and and to find them. You don't need to do that. You don't need to find the wet truck. I work.

I don't dislike booze. I don't want to get anybody sober. Getting sober in and of itself is a bad idea for someone like me. It's a bad idea because I I couldn't handle it. There is a reason I drank the way I did.

There's a lot of reasons and even more excuses, but

find, find someone who might be interested in this thing, who wants what you have, who wants not, you know, you don't have to have paid off all your debt to be able to help somebody with their debt. And, and even Even so, you know, there's a, there's a, you know, I did, I did Babble in a little sudden. And then my, my, my man, I called my sponsor. He he, he called me the San asshole, San asshole

because I would just answer people in Zen and and and and bullshit. But

you know, we, we don't help other people. I don't have the power to fix someone's alcoholism. I just don't

even today, even when I was, you know, meditating 45 minutes every every morning and every night, even when I, you know, I didn't get upset for six months

because I had freedom. I had a lot of things and I had a, yeah, a lot of spiritual acrobatics, but

I just don't, it's an inside job to, to carry the message. You, you need to, to, to be able to and, and, and, and if, if the newcomer has lost his third cousin, you don't have to have lost your third cousin to be able to help him. You need to qualify when you come up. Does he have alcoholism? And the best way to understand alcoholism is to read the big book

because people in a a say a lot of stuff.

My peeing my pan story is is and puking out the window and

and and all that stuff is basically a long, long, long winded way of saying consequences didn't get me sober.

It they just didn't. And if you assume that he can with country now he's going to a meeting. So he must be so purple if he's going to work with me. You are losing out on the real mad dogs. You're losing out you you're not If we thought that train of thought. I, I get a phone, get a phone call one day and there's a there's

the girlfriend of a guy who had been sober calls this

to that. I know in a A and, and I am there because, you know, I have hair, relax And I, I, I, I'm, I'm brought to that place because he needs to get her stuff because her boyfriend is

wasted. He's basically has music on TV on mute. He's smoking cigarettes and, and, and staring at the wall and, and he is wasted and it's booze and it's Special K all at the same time.

He, he, he is not there. And I come there and I sit next to him because while they go and get the stuff and, and, and, and I start saying something and I know enough not to say, you know, start quoting the big book like that. That's impressive when you're on Special K,

an interesting substance, disassociative painkiller. He wasn't there. He wasn't there to talk to. He could have had seven states Alzheimer's

for you know, and but once in a while he will, he will, he will be smoking a cigarette and then let another one immediately. And he I would say something and he would look at me and with this stern dead look

and we take the stuff and we leave and, and, and I don't know how long, much later, but probably a week or two days. He's just getting out of the psych ward

and he calls me. Why did he call me?

Because I showed up.

That's the only reason. The man I call, my sponsor, he was at the meeting when I was ready to ask for help. That's the reason. If it hadn't been him, it would have been someone else.

Engineering lineage is bullshit.

Trying to work on your sponsorship lineage is, in my humble opinion, bullshit.

It's the guy that is there for the newcomer who gets to work with him. Or not okay or not or maybe come to that later. But

I take him to my house. He sleeps on my sofa. I didn't have, you know, apartment. It's basically one room studio apartment, small and in an industrial neighborhood. I don't, you know, I don't have any money. You know, I have a car and and I drive him. We do step work. I don't the the details of the inventory of the arts and crafts are not important. They are just not important at all.

And I, I'm taking him to an ex-girlfriend to make amends. And I park outside this house in my old neighborhood,

a house that I had set on fire when I was 10 and I had conveniently not tackled that thing because I was only 10. And I'm sitting, I'm parked right outside the house while he's across the street. And I feel like a total fake. I feel like a total fake because I, I know from my own own experience that immense is about facing stuff. And I I said feel feel like

a total

sham and and he comes. I don't do anything about it, but I don't really.

I can't be like this. You can't be really taking guys from the psych wards, psych ward that are

yeah, you know, and and be almost a spiritual if you're not doing the same thing. He pushed me that by his own willingness to, to go to that house and ring the doorbell and talk to some 15 year old kid and, and, and and

then later, you know, he, she would answer on the intercom and say, you know, I'll, I'll start making my amends. And he and she would say, dude, I'm only 15.

So I would come back later and, and, and her dad would be home and I would ring the doorbell and he would say yeah.

And yeah, I would stop. Yeah, I'm, I'm here because in, in 1986, I, I, I set the house on fire and, and, and you know, I'll be angry young kid, OK. And

he would come to the door and, and, and he would

and he would who he would look past me go. Is this a kind of camera or show or something?

And he built the house,

he didn't remember it was a non issue. And I'm sitting in the car trying to do God's work and and feel like a total shit.

You know, carrying the message is not about fixing the new guy. It's about me.

That's the only thing that I can expect out of that to be a certain way. And and and and and please notice in in the fear, fear, fear prayer. You know, we ask God to bring our attention to what he will have us be, not to be. And and yeah, it's, it's not really profound and it's not distilled through the ages to that sentence, but

Bill wrote it.

We, we we're supposed to be a certain way. We're not become some anything,

you know, becoming something is, you know,

it really didn't matter that my uncle was sober. I don't know, 18 years when I get sober. It really didn't matter because he didn't say anything.

You know, being all spiritual and having solved all the problems doesn't really both do anything for me in the long run. It simplifies my life a lot. A lot. A very big lot. But it won't, you know, I can't go. Yeah, I made my amendments 10 years ago. Yeah, I'm great.

It makes me a better tool to my dad. He would, he would call collect snap on tools. My dad hated American culture and all despised American culture, your movies and your sham and and all that stuff. But, but he loved vintage cars, American cars, the Ford 56 and, and he loved snap on tools and those that's, that stuff is expensive, OK.

And he had the biggest collection in the country,

private or, or commercial collection. And I see myself as a snap on. You know, there's a snap on test like a tool chest with the rubber top and there are bunch of tools on the top and some are old, not so much with the snap-on. I know, but, but, but I'm there and and and I see, you know, it's basically my, the, the work basically as is me standing as a tool on that chest and going pick me, pick me, pick me, pick me.

That's the vision of that.

You know, you don't have to be a good tool. You don't have to be a, you know, perfect tool. You don't have to be the right tool for the job. You know, you can be a screwdriver when a hammer is needed, you know, But if, if you're the most willing tool, you will partake in in, in this stuff, stuff here, practical experience shows that nothing will so much ensure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other Alcoholics. Yeah, maybe they need to go to a shrink. Yeah, maybe they need to.

To, you know, do something else. Yeah, maybe. But we, our job is to deliver the message we are supposed to carry a message to be a be a version of the big book, if you will.

And,

and sometimes, you know, most of the time because of our apathy,

we only work with guys that come into a A

and we don't go out and find new members. And maybe that's OK. And maybe that's not apathy. Maybe that's just humility,

but sometimes a drunk guy will come to a meeting

and in Iceland, that's fine. I will, you know, these guys, these two homeless guys would come and, and, and they would be drunk in the meeting with booze and whatever. And if anybody had any trouble with that, you could talk to me after the meeting. You know, if they are not welcome and Alcoholics Anonymous, who is them? Who is

what, you know, Do we need to be a certain way to be allowed to in the rooms?

The only requirement for membership is a desire to start drinking. And, and Please note that in Multilath it doesn't say that it sets an honest desire to stop drinking. And those guys aren't honest in any way, shape or form, but they are there.

This one guy, he, he, we would take turns, the guys in my group and we would go and, and, and pick him up and drive him to rehab. And, and, and the, the, the, the rule of thumb was that we needed to go to the store and buy a can of beer to get him into the car to get into rehab. Okay, because he wouldn't go. So I go, it's my turn. I go and, and, and, and, and, you know, I go in there. He, he lives at his mom's place. She is

a wreck.

OK, He's 55. His mom is 75. Plus he's she's a wreck. And, and, and, and I would have to give you

a thing that doesn't translate at all. You know, she was at a facility for people with bodies that are not working anymore, basically.

And I talked to the guy and he goes, I'll never get sober. I'll never get up. I can't realize. No, there's no use in and and he's drunk out of his mind. And and that's fine. You know, you know, the the most the, the, the, the like, like one asshole puts it the most spiritual. The three most spiritual words in a a are get in the car

and and he gets into gets into he gets into the passenger to see it and I drive and it's a 2025 minutes, thirty minute drive

to the detox

where there is a waiting list. But guys like him, they

so, you know, go in front of the line because if they don't detox, they die, OK? It's, you know, one of those things. And you know, he's he's part of the crew that is allowed to smoke inside because, you know, you really can't talk to them. OK.

And just above the treatment center, I need to do one right turn, go 50 yards, then a left turn to to the facility. It's in. It's in. It's in. It's,

it's. Yeah. And

I'm 2 minutes away.

Then I finally get out of them. What the horrible, horrible thing he was, he'd been talking about the whole way that he had did that made it so that he couldn't get sober.

He, he yeah, but he basically say, I'll get down, get sober for 20 minutes. And what is it? What is it? What is it? I'll never be able to get sober and just ride outside. He goes, I killed the man

and the story is that he had taken his uncle out into the lava fields and executed him with a shotgun

on point blank range for something that his uncle did to her.

I leave him, you know, I and I without batting and I, I, I told him the worst thing I have done.

And he turned his head. You know, sitting in the passenger seat, he turned his head. That

how could you do it?

And, and,

and that's, you know, that's

OK. And he gets into detox and whatever and that's the end of the story. You know, until I 2012 after I moved to move. Yeah, 20/20/12. I think I, I, I, I'd moved to Norway and I come back to Iceland and I'm trying to go to the meetings that I never went to. And he said to one of the meetings, he's been so over six years.

I didn't sponsor that guy.

I didn't take him through staff work.

You know, we are a village of people. We are village people.

We

we are a village of people that work with newcomers. We are here for each other.

Somebody else took him.

Somebody asked else caught him when he came out.

But I will never for the rest of my life doubt that this had I met him. We talked, we didn't say a lot of words, but he remembered me. I remembered him.

And,

you know, especially with wet drunks, you know, I, I, there's this one guy who who lived in Norway and he moved back to Iceland and he, he is, he is a character. He is, he is,

he is very much drunk always when he, you know, and, and the words that the, the, the most, the word I use most when I talk to him on the phone is shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up. Because he will Babble and Babble and Babble and Babble. And, and my experience with wet drugs is that if you do the whole pleasant thing and the polite thing and La, La, la, they won't, they won't, they won't listen to you.

You know, I, I tell those guys the, the, the crazy ones, the drunk ones,

you know, Jennifer car, you know, just shut up, shut up. You don't know, you don't know anything. You don't know anything. You're, you're, you, you, everything that happens has nothing to do with alcoholism. And I can tell them a story that, and that, that, that, that, that thing. I, I, I, I, I told them that that guy in the car right then it's just, it's a thing that I've made amends for at that time and since then

to twice more, you know, it's,

and that's why we do immense if, if it were, that's why I do immense. I, I do amends not to fix my life and to get a Peace of Mind to become rich and famous or anything. You know,

the aim is not to get our lives in order. It's it's that we are doing this to be to be able to help somebody and that guy is alive.

I played a small part in that.

He's way too nuts to do Joe and Charlie inventory and and, and La, La, La, La, la.

You find drugs all over the place. You find drugs all over the place. My boss at work is an alcoholic would go out outside and smoke a cigar during work and you know, just these packet pillows and it's short, strong, carcinogenic, you know, gas stations to gas and, and we would talk and, and he went to rehab, you know, a few years earlier. So he was getting phone calls about guys that went to the rehab and how to support the family. And he,

and it took him a couple of tries, but he was too. And he was, you know, he was a much more functioning alcoholic. You know, he's much more functioning guy and, and, and a genuinely good man. He hadn't killed anybody. You know, he, he hadn't done anything, but he couldn't stay sober. You know, he, he was sober and la, la, la. And there's a thing that the quarterly report whatever and, and, and, and he does his part of the quarterly report where I was working in Iceland and he had a glass of white wine afterwards,

you know, and, and then he, you know, he came with me to meetings and, and my thing was, you know, he was afraid to go to meetings because he had been sober. He had been in a a off and on since 1989.

And

let's go to let's go to this meeting, let's go to that meeting, let's go to this. And it was at my Home group where he felt welcome

and, and, and, and he, he died sober.

Pete, that's over. He, he's not alive today. But this is not about results,

you know? I see untreated alcoholism in.

The guy that, that, that rang my doorbell once with a subway in his hand and, and he was just uncontrollably crying and crying and he would walk up the stairs to my apartment and, and, and, and smear his sub on, on the, on the wall and stuff. And, and we, we tried to talk to him. And when he stopped crying, we tried to talk to him. And he and you know, he was talking to somebody else that wasn't really there. You know, he's, he was nuts. He was, he was.

He was shooting up on drama mean.

OK, if you know, drama mean

does not does not do good things with your body, you know, we get these brown basically where the veins pop and and it bleeds into your skin and stuff and and we were just counting the minutes until they had to amputate him. Okay,

he,

you know, we put him to bed and he slept and when he woke up he didn't need any help.

What are you going to do? He doesn't need any help. He's doing fine, you know,

you know, with, with basically brown spots all over his, his hands and, and, and neck and everything where he would inject the drum on me. And

what are you going to do? You can't do anything. It's not about the newcomer. It's about me. I need to be willing to do it. He's dead today. He stopped doing Dramamine and I met him in a, in a, in a bar and, and he had this beer and, and he was holding it like a, like a golem, basically. It was, you know, it was his precious, you know,

and, and you can't help any everybody the bumps 111 bum that I, I would, I would take take on us on a walk downtown Reykjavik and I would show him how to meditate in a really simple way, a way that is so simple you can't fuck it up. You know, even if when you're crazy, he died, he died a few weeks later because, you know, because his body has just come to an end. And, and, and, but I, I got to hear from somebody who was trying to, to work with him later on that, that he talked about this and this,

not only this thing, but this meditation stuff. So I affected the chains, but I'm not here to guarantee any results at all.

One guy that that was using Oxycontin and you know, I detox this guy off Oxycontin and that's relatively easy by the way, you know, if you only been doing it doing it a week, that's relatively easy. It's it's pretty safe too.

Goose hounds. That's dangerous stuff. You know, I've had a guy on my floor just flapping around like a fish. You know, it's and we would call call the ambulance and the ambulance. OK, so take care and just left him behind and he's still alive for some. I don't know why you know, he's still alive, but we are not to help. So if a wet so

don't mix the terms like I'm doing right now, you know,

a wet drunk is a wet drunk. A wet drunk willing to work steps can't work steps. There's one one guy that I know, he started sponsoring guys while he was still reeking of booze. No, really, he's still sober. He's doing fine. He's still doing just fine. Is he willing to work the steps

canny in some way, shape or form? And that doesn't mean can he follow my method of working through the steps which my sponsor showed me, blah, blah, blah. You know that. No, he can't. I did the John Charlie stuff. He can't do that.

You know, there's room for experimentation. Start somewhere, especially with retreads. You know, I don't believe in going through the work again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again. You know, just because the sponsor went out of town and something

it's just be careful with the booze house. It's they die on you. I never had anybody die on me. But but you know, the big Pokémon says you have you have a green newcomer, have a boost, have a bottle of booze, you know, just so they won't die from the crabs. You'll know you will have parent in this city. You will have plenty of time to go out and get boost before, before it's dangerous

in Iceland where we have the state liquor stores, the blah, blah, blah, you know, bullshit. You know,

it's, it is dangerous. And if, if you want to know the medicine, talk to a doctor. I'm not a doctor and, and I'm not, you know, but I have some experience with, with wet drunks and, and some wet drunks. They have willingness and they will what one guy he was, he was totally amazing. OK He he he he gets sober on on on the Good Friday and and and he goes to the big meeting the the the the anniversary meeting of a a in Iceland and and he

and somebody is talking to him in the party out for coffee after at the Illinois club drinking coffee and they're doing the steps and and restore it to to wholeness help president to do me healthy again, which is the Atlantic translation. And that's wrong.

OK, but he would, he would go and take 10 push-ups on his left hand just to show that he that didn't to be, it didn't need to be restored to sanity, you know,

and, and he was drunk and he, what he did was he get got mental disinfect, mental disinfectant. That's the most popular stuff with the bombs in Iceland at least, because it's, you know, it's just mental. It's mentholated. And, and he would drink himself down because he wanted, and he got, got himself sober. But then like then he, he had alcoholism after that, OK, And that his alcoholism was that he couldn't let go of his plan to, to fix his debt problem. And he ended up,

he ended up getting paid all that and was a, was a plate of hashish,

you know, a big plate. And, and he, he didn't, wasn't really interested in that stuff. So he swapped it for for some Nobel gun and and and Trammell and and he shot that up.

Shut up on that because, you know, that's the decision making, not the physical state that he's in. It's the decision making that is crazy with Alcoholics. And that's the stuff that we can share about, you know, and, and, and basically, you know, to do do go out there and make pathetic attempts to help Alcoholics, just go and out of there and do a horrible job,

you know, do a horrible job at it. And, and their willingness will show you stuff that you could you have to do that you can bring to the next guy and the next guy and the next guy. This is not something that we do in isolation at all. And I, and I can't find it anymore, but it's in the 12th of 12th. It's a line that says,

and during that period we found out that Alcoholics can't stay sober unless they are in a Group,

A group.

Do you think he was lying? Do you think there may be something to that,

you know, Japanese, although the full version of the Japanese scientist story, Japanese scientists have have scientifically proven that sex with others is more fun than alone. What they did, what they did was they created a robot with just an arm and a feather, you know, or something, something simple. It wasn't any, it wasn't a plunger or anything. But you know,

and, and you had the, they put electrodes on the on the heads of people and they, they

got them to move the choice. They can do something sexy.

What the electrodes pick up was always higher when somebody else was on the joystick.

Always. We have. It's more fun to go down a water slide than to Sierra in a bathtub. You know, this control thing is you're selling yourself short.

Go out and try anything if you can. Bring them. Bring bring Alcoholics to the attention of the bring the book to their attention. You, you, you know that. Great. They're dead anyway.

But dead anyway.

Yeah, I think it's that's a sign it's time.

Sorry. Yeah, Question Time.

No questions.

Forgiveness,

honey.

How do you forgive something that you deem unforgivable? I I'm not a reader, I don't read books. I do small tidbits and I Google the fuck out of everything I see. OK, forgiveness is there was a was a trick gone on on on on Google. Early days of Google. You could write define colon and the word and if you did religion you got a lot of different definitions

and they weren't even covering the same stuff. You know, there's like 30 definitions and and not all of them overlapped in any way. Forgiveness is one of those things.

The definition I use for forgiveness and the concept that I work with is, is I, you know, I don't ask for people's forgiveness.

You know, one of one of my amends didn't want to talk to me. She just didn't.

I've done worse stuff to other people. She didn't want to to do it.

That's her thing.

I forgive others not to let them off the hook, but to let myself off the hook so that I don't carry that hurt with me. I think that's the real definition of forgiveness. I forgive other people without ever telling them

like this, this thing. The reason I have, you know, I'm, I'm doing this and, and, and stuff is I've had three assaults from the same guy in sobriety.

You know, we were living together

and he would push me down a flat stairs because he,

he felt threatened by my success in AA or something stupid. You know, he was there, he was sober when I was peeing basically all over the place and on him and everything. You know, he the second time it was also down a flight of stairs. The third time he attacked me at my house and, and my neck has been fucked up ever since and it still is. I'm doing physiotherapy for that. And he came and made amends to me and he told me

basically this stuff,

but also that one night that while I've been sleeping, he, he and he was there, he had a knife and he was just contemplating when to kill me.

I don't. I can say that I'm, I'm comfortable with that information,

but I won't you sit against them.

I won't use it against him because, you know,

because I really want, don't want to have a part of my identity and have a limp from that.

I want to have some grace about the stuff of my past and that I think,

I think that's what forgiveness is all about. I have been forgiven too for for some stuff I've done. And it's an amazing thing. It is an amazing thing. Without going into much detail, because it is being taped. I, I,

you know, I've been invited to dinner to people that I, you know, I basically fucked up their marriage and they invited me to dinner and I know that's forgiveness. We never said the word forgive,

you know.

Well, you know, I,

I had a friend

and he

sorry, how do you know when to to step the back from a wet trunk?

OK. And

yeah, there's a bunch of bunch of stories about wet drunks, but

usually when they when they drink again, like this buddy of mine, he he or a buddy of mine, he he drank again and he doesn't remember even meeting me. You know, I don't care.

He heard something. We talked. He he reacted. You know

when the Big Book talks about

you know when to step back. You know,

don't do charity. Don't do charity in the regular sense of the world.

Alcoholic doesn't want charity if he whines about you know, I can't do it without this and that. I need to. I need a job at Garland Car. OK,

that, you know, just tell them

that no working, no working. You know, if you if you can find a sponsor that you know can get him the girl, the job in the car or whatever, find somebody else. I'm not the guy, but the the the stuff that I want to share was is is not about so much a wet drunk, but a friend of mine who who

who I did a lot of AA with.

We would go and read the big book all over the island and we would do,

you know, stuff and we would, you know, he would,

he had the the horse rider as a sponsee, as one interesting case, a guy that only wanted to well, we've got to see this guy together and and and and my friends end up sponsoring and then be basically, which basically means his phone number is a lot simpler than mine. So the guy, you know, calls that first or whatever and he calls and, and says

that he really, really gets a turn out of, of going out east and, and, and, and what's the horses have sex?

And, you know, that's, this is a series of calls. OK. And he would, you know, this friend of mine, we were living together and he would get these phone calls and he would, you know, come after the phone call and go, dude, you know, he talks just talk about he really wants to get a black girl go out east and, and, and have sex with her on watch the horses.

And, and then, you know, after a few weeks, he wants to get my friend out east and, and, and do our rich around thing or something. And, and, and basically he shouts at him.

This is not extreme guys. This is not extreme in Alcoholics Anonymous. We are we are messed up, Okay,

we are messed up. He basically and I'm there. I'm in the next room while while he during that last thing I mentioned he basically I hear him yell

don't call me again unless you want to work steps

and that's OK.

You know, you can use whatever language you want with the crazies, be they sober or not.

You know, it's fine if they have. If they have an issue with cursing, I think they need to reevaluate something in their lives. OK, they really, really need to reevaluate something in their lives.

So for the expression in Icelandic is jump up your own ass, you know, which is basically the Atlantic way of to say go fuck yourself and and that's fine. But when he's willing, hey dude, you want to do some stamp work?

I don't know something like that.

Any more Hands. Yes, Sir.

Got that as well. It's defending ourselves being back from service because that's the only way

a comment.

Good question. So the question is, am I just full of shit,

you know?