The topic of Step 12 at the Fellowship of the Spirit convention in Copper Mountain, CO

Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to Alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs. And our first panelist today will be Marilyn B from the Park Hill Group in Denver, Co.

Thank you.

Yes, ma'am.

Hi, I'm Marilyn and I am a grateful member of the Worldwide Fellowship of El Anon and Ella team and thrilled to be here.

Thank you to Brenda for asking me to be a part of this panel. It brings me back to the basics, makes me think about what do I really believe, what is my practice of this program, and what would God have me say?

So I usually take just a moment to ask that I'd be allowed to say what God would have me say, and you be allowed to hear what God would have you hear.

Step 12 Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps,

we tried to carry this message to others and to practice these principles and all our affairs.

My disease as an Al anone can pretty well be summed up with the idea that when I am into my disease, I think something or someone has to be different in order for me to be OK,

and it is my responsibility to enlighten them on how to do that.

And if I haven't done it clearly enough, I should be clearer and they should be grateful.

My most spirit recent spiritual awakening

came upon me a couple of days ago

and it's a question

what if everything is already OK?

How would I live my life in the moment, in this next moment,

if I were willing to believe that?

So I've been asking myself that question saying God I'm willing.

My broken mind cannot fix my broken mind,

so why not believe that everything is already OK? It sure frees up a lot of energy to do that. And in the steps before step 12, when

I ask God to use me and I ask God to let me be of service, and I ask God to take away the things that get in the way of me being of service,

if I believe everything is already OK, then I get in the moment. How to do that?

I have a former sponsor who used to say,

put your hands out like this

and ask God to remove every single thing that is not yours

and then turn them palms up and ask to be filled with everything that God would have you have

when I believe that everything is already OK. I approached the world like this. I can be absurdist.

I'm willing to receive God.

We tried to carry this message to others.

I have been plagued by a number of years by the question what exactly is the message,

especially when I'm talking to a newcomer.

What's the message? What do they mean in this step?

Yesterday it came to me that the message is contained in this step.

Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps,

I can say to you,

no matter how much time you've had in the program, that if,

if because I have worked these steps, I have had a spiritual awakening and my life has become different.

And that's a good thing for me. That's my experience. Strengthen home. That's what you two are able to have from this program.

I don't need a lot of fancy words to express that it.

If they don't know what they that means, that's the perfect reason to say keep coming. Get a sponsor, go to meetings, read the book. You'll find out what this means and it will happen to you

on page 100 of The Big Book.

I think it says the message really well. It says when we look back, we realize that the things which came to us when we put ourselves in God's hands were better than anything we could have planned.

Now remember the nature of my disease.

Someone or something has to be different for me to be OK

we are told. Follow the dictates of a higher power and you will presently live in a new and wonderful world, no matter what your present circumstances.

We can share that with the newcomer because we have experienced it,

practice these principles in all our affairs.

I came up here to come to these workshops.

I came up here to hear these speakers. I came up here to

hear how you work these steps.

The person I came up with yesterday

we I was able to get her from work early. We got up here for the first workshop, went to the first workshop. In between the first workshop and the second workshop,

she came up with a crisis.

Now let it reminded me of because I had some tug inside between do I make myself available to her or do I go to the second step workshop?

And I remember a dear, dear friend of mine who has since passed away that gave a 12 step study in his home. And I emailed him one day and said I can't come tonight. You know, I really want to be there for the big book study. But my son is playing baseball and he wants me to be there.

And he emailed me back and he said it is always better to be living the 12 steps than to be practicing them than to be studying them.

And so I went with my friend and we sat down and talked and I shared my experience, strength and hope with her. And I told her that she wasn't a bad person because her daughter was having problems and that it probably wasn't life or death. And that my experience with my daughter had shown me that even when you have a daughter that doesn't turn out the way you might have planned,

you can still have a happy, useful life.

God will still use you in the lives of others, and maybe especially use you in the lives of others.

Why do we do this step?

It tells us in the book,

life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness Spanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends. This is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it.

I'm going to look at that and say now that's not for me. I don't want that. I want that. I've experienced that. I can receive that today. When I came into this program lots of years ago, I thought there was not another single person in the whole world that cared about me.

I didn't even like me.

Now I have a host of friends who will go through the good times and bad times with me. Whether I've met them yet or not, I know they're there.

I want to say

specifically to the Alcoholics in the room.

There's a seat for you in our rooms

if you

need Al Anon.

And if you come to my meeting, I will welcome you with an open heart.

Please don't stay away because of what who you think we are or what our program is. Come and try us in our meeting. Park Hill noon on Fridays, 22nd and Dexter, Denver, Co. We always see

dual members come in fairly soon after fuss and we welcome you with an open heart. We love you and we love learning from your experience, strength and hope. Thanks,

All right. Our second panelist today will be Kent L from the Happy Hour Group of Montgomery, AL.

Hi, I'm Kent Long,

I am an alcoholic. I'm from Wetumpka, AL and my sobriety date is September 18th, 1998.

I'm actually first time ever using the iPad. I didn't bring my 12:00 and 12:00 and I want to read something because there's a lot of confusion. What is the spiritual awakening? What is spirituality? I've been taught why don't we use context? Words mean something. What is our program say a spiritual awakening is, and then the 12:00 and 12:00 it says when a man or a woman has a spiritual awakening, the most important meaning of it is that he has now become able to do, feel and believe

that which he could not do before. On unaided strength and resources alone

he has been granted a gift which amounts to a new state of consciousness and being. He has been set on a path which tells him he is really going somewhere, that life is not a dead end, not something to be endured or mastered. In a very real sense he has been transformed because he has laid hold of a source of strength which in one way or another he had hitherto denied himself. He has found himself in possession of a degree of honesty, tolerance, unselfishness, Peace of Mind and love of which he had thought himself

quite incapable.

I've had a spiritual awakening. That doesn't mean I walk hand in hand with my Creator and I see rainbows and unicorns all the time, but that has happened to me.

So that the 12th step is three parts, right? Spiritual awakening, carry the message, practice the principles. It's in that order for a reason. I have carried the message before when I hadn't had a spiritual awakening when I got sober. My sponsor, my first sponsor, he sponsored the way he was sponsored, right? And it was work steps one through 9 out of the big book. The 10th step was admitted when you were wrong. The 11th step was ask God to keep you sober in the morning, thank him at night and then step 12 as you did

work, you chaired a meeting in your Home group and you sponsored. Well, I had a life changing experience doing steps one through 9, but I did not have a spiritual awakening, OK? I was literally on fire after the 9th step. It was a life changing event. And because I never did 10 or 11 ever as out of the book, what was awakened, whatever you want to call it, it went to sleep. OK. And like Juanita was talking about my sponsorship was from the head,

right? This was a, a truly an academic textbook and I was teaching it to people. And my sponsorship was life coaching, right? And I hated it when my guys had problems and I thought my job was to try to solve their problems, right? Like, I can't manage my life, but I'll fix yours, OK. And I never used to say things like, have you prayed about this? Because I wasn't praying about it, right? You know what I'm saying? So

that was all the way up to about six years. And then I had a self-imposed crisis in sobriety

that involved money, lots of money. And I got hooked up with a guy in California that introduced me to the spiritual disciplines of 10 and 11. OK, And like Erica said, from Iowa, 1011 and 12 takes me through one through 9 on a daily basis. OK, so boom, now the spirit is awakened. Now I can carry the message.

In that time when I didn't have a message to carry sponsorship, I did it because it was expected. It was a burden. Many times I was talking to Eric. Look at the cell phone. Ah, jeez, really? Do I have to when they text or something to get an e-mail? Hey, I have to cancel. It was happy dance time because I had more time to think about me.

What's happened to me now? A degree of love. I love the guys I work with so much. I come home from work so tired. I will fall asleep in my easy chair and I wake up before the first guy comes at 6:00 and I am excited to work with him because I'm not teaching them. I am sharing with them because I have had an experience. I haven't had an intellectual exercise where I've memorized what it says. I have actually done what the book says to do and I've

had an experience, right? So now I actually have something to share, right? And we journey, we journey together, not necessarily teacher and student, but you know, it's us together,

you know, right before we started this. It's really been on my heart the last couple months apart. And Bill's story when he said faith without works is, you know, avails is nothing. And it says unless you improve your spiritual condition through self sacrifice and work with others. What sponsorship?

How does how does sponsorship improve my spiritual condition? Because I see God in the guys I sponsor. It's like holding a mirror up to myself and I when they share their experiences with me

and I watched the miracles happen because in my own life, I can see God in the rearview mirror, but God in my day-to-day life is kind of like gaining weight. I don't necessarily see it right. It just takes time and it's like family's pants don't fit how that happened. But when I worked with guys, I see God in their life every time when they call the 10 step where they you know, I have them. We do that on a weekly basis. We read inventory, right? They read their, their inventory and I can see it's like, man, you, you wouldn't have

that even 2 weeks ago, right? How you handle things in your marriage or in the job. And I can see them grow. And then those times that as I'm sharing with them, as I'm speaking, hey, maybe you should try that. Okay, But I see, I see God as we journey together and that's absolutely amazing. And then the practice, the principles, you know what, what is that? What does that mean?

You know, I, I have something here in my big book that's non conference approved, but I keep it in there. And there's a, a terminal Judaism

called Tikan Olam to heal the world. OK. And what it talks about is we heal the world by healing ourselves, OK. And, you know, with God, it's understood in the context of the article,

like Marilyn said, I thought the problem, what is it we heard here? It's not them, right? It's not them. I thought the world needed to be a certain way. And we can take that even into social justice, social activism. OK, Fix this out here. Fix this out here. Make the world a better place. Well, it starts with me, OK? And if I practice these principles to the best of my ability, and I turn my will and my life over to the care of God, to the best of my ability, God will heal me one day at a time.

You know, it's that throwing the, the Pebble in a pond, the ripple effects, right? The fact that I'm not drinking and I'm trying to live a better way of life, I am convinced is helping people that I will never see. I, I want to share something to you that just blew me away. And it has to do with sponsorship. I have a guy that is four months sober and has worked the steps, OK. And this guy is on fire and he's working with people, but he's four months sober, OK. And he's married and he has a natural daughter, three years old.

And he has a stepson, 7 years old. And this stepson is living proof that his wife had sex with somebody besides him. And he doesn't get along with the child's biological father. And there's a lot of baggage, OK? And it's very obvious that he doesn't treat this kid the way he treats his daughter. And he struggles. He struggles. He knows it, right? Self knowledge. Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions before he knows it. And he's doing inventory with me

and the kid. He has a rule, an old idea

rule. We don't wear our jackets in the house. And he goes to breakfast and the boy has a jacket. Well, here's the boy, ask the Mama, OK, can I wear my jacket? Mama says yes. So first of all, he's like.

Oh no, Oh no, little man didn't just back door me, OK? And then my wife didn't just undermine my role. So he goes to the table and he says take the jacket off. And the boy says what? Mama says I don't care, take it off. So he takes it off and he's starting to do the sniffles right? And the mom comes out and says put it back on. And his voices go up and his three-year old daughter says, Daddy, I love you

because she's trying to ratchet it down, right?

He sees himself now. He has an awakening. He has the outer body. He's seeing himself be the crazy man. So he says, screw it. And he goes in the bathroom and he showers and his wife comes in and he makes an immense to her. I've got one other thing before she came out, he says to his three-year old daughter in front of the boy that doesn't have the jacket, this Annabelle little girl, are you cold? And she's like, no, daddy, He says, right. He said, why don't we wear a jacket? She's like, I don't know, He said. Because we're not weak.

OK, so he's telling A7 year old's cold, he's weak.

So he makes amends to his wife. And before he goes to school, he grabs that little boy, takes him to the bedroom, and he makes an amends to A7 year old kid. He's a 27 year old man. And then he says, because we've been taught to do this,

how did I make you feel when I did that? And the seven-year old said it made me feel sad. OK. And I just started crying when he told me that story because I get to see, I get to see God work in this guy's life. He's still broken. I'm broken, right? One of my favorite books. Henry Nolan, the wounded healers.

We journey together, not as teacher and student. I'm broken just like my guys are broken. I'm just broken at a different degree than they are where they're at. I cheated myself of that experience for seven years

right when I was trying to teach them the book. Thank you very, very much.

Sorry. Our next panelist will be Roman K from the 11th chapter in Denver, Co.

My name is Roman. I'm an alcoholic.

I just want to get nervous when I get up here. You know, I'm just like I'm, I'm standing in front of, it's like Brian was saying earlier, I mean, like so many of my heroes are in this room and so many people I look up to are in this room. And, you know, I get, I get fearful that I'm going to do something or say something that's out of line from what I've learned from them. And I know that's not the truth. I know that's the disease of alcoholism. And I just want to get that out so I could

breathe.

So like you said, my Home group is the 11th chapter. We meet on Sunday nights. There's two meetings, ones at six and ones at 8:00. You'll find me at the 8:00 meeting because that's a big book study. This meeting is located in Denver. It's at the Salvation Army. And that meeting is a bunch of men who have who have no solution, but a lot of hope. And if you're in Denver, I'm going to put it out there right now. We could really use some help.

There are no requirements to get in there besides that you tuck your shirt in and you don't wear a hat.

If you could do that and if you'd like to help, we'd love to have you there.

So this 12 step for me, I was like, I was, I was thinking about it before the workshop

and I didn't know what I wanted to say. So I'll tell you what my process is with the 12 step. When I, when I sit down with a guy, you know, the, the book is very clear on what I do. You know, I don't have to make anything up. I don't have to figure anything out. I, I sit down with another man and I tell him the truth. And the book tells me exactly how to do that. You know, I mean, you've heard it over these past couple of days. All these panelists do, the people from the floor

describe it so elegantly, how to work these steps. And when you get the solution, the things that they've described, you know how to go. I'm like, I don't see how you can't want to go tell somebody else about what you found. I don't understand that. I really don't.

And something else that breaks my heart, you know, to, to look around this room and see that the numbers have dwindled. You know,

this step is what saves my life on a regular basis. I mean, at the top of Chapter 7, it talks about, you know, there's like nothing. Nothing ensures immunity so much as intensive work with another alcoholic.

And I believe that, you know, I buy it. I mean, it's like my life depends on that. I don't want to go back to the guy that I was. I don't want to be that man that's hurting people again. I've got something to offer these guys

and I give them what I've got. And what I've got is what you gave me. You know, what I've got is the truth about myself. I'm armed with the facts about myself and I get to see what these guys and, and the book says on my first visit, I tell them about the, the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. And I do that. You know, I hear a lot of times people come into meetings and they say that they're a member of Alcoholics Anonymous. But if you ask them what Alcoholics Anonymous really is, they couldn't tell you, you know, they're not working with somebody. They don't have a service position. They don't, they don't care about sponsorship. You know, they'll sit in the meeting

for somebody to come ask them how to do it. You know, I mean, like that's that's not what Alcoholics Anonymous is. And what I do with these guys, I describe to them how this

an organization

got started, you know, I mean, and it was a man was six months of sobriety, you know, desperate for sobriety, going to another city, doesn't know anybody. And he knows what he's doing. He knows what he's got to do to save his life. And he goes and he and he talks to another man about it. And this man buys in and here he is 3 weeks later. They're both doing it the same way, you know, and, and I try to describe to these guys that,

you know, if you're going to join a soccer team, you know, I hope you have the expectation that you're going to be playing soccer at some point. You know, I really do. I mean, I don't know what you'd be doing there if you don't. So if you call yourself a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, I hope you have the expectation of carrying that message like our 12 step describes. I really do.

I'm getting goosebumps. The men that came before me, you know,

my Home group used to be a big book study met on Saturday nights and

there's a group of old men. All of them have double digit sobriety and they're there to help a group of felons. You know, we gathered in, in, in a basement and it was the only meeting that we could go to at the time. And, and I was desperate for something. And these men came and they, they did nothing but tell the truth about who they were and what they did. They would talk about how they consulted this power greater than themselves. They talk about how they carried the message

and the men that came before them.

They would get credit where credit was due.

They weren't on a high horse about what they had, you know? And I wanted that. I didn't know how to do that, but I wanted that. I wanted so bad to stay sober, and these guys were doing it.

That's why it's important to me. You know, I know what I was given. I know who I am. I know from where I come. I know how I got to stand on this podium today. You know, it wasn't easy

as full of fear most of the time. I'm full of fear right now,

but I'm doing it, you see,

whether I like it or not, whether I want to do it or not, whether I show up. Somebody was talking about looking at the phone earlier, maybe it was yesterday. And I get that. You know, it's like sometimes it's my family

and I get that I don't want to do it, but I got to do it, you see, because I'm an alcoholic and I don't want to die.

That simple.

The book says on our second visit, they have read this volume. They're talking about the big book, you know, So that tells me after my second my after my first visit, I'm asking this guy to read this book. And if you're willing to go through these steps like it's outlined in this book, give me a call, you know, because I'd love to show you what it means. I'd love to show you what I do. I love to tell you how I did it, you know, and I don't stray far from the book. I really don't, you know, I give them the opportunity at any time to question me and to ask me where is it say that in the book. And sometimes they do, you know?

And sometimes I get called on my BS,

but most of the time I could let them know. In all honesty, this is just my opinion. You won't find this in the big book, but here's what worked for me.

It says in that in that first visit, I'm going to back up a second. It says in that first visit, you know, and it's like, because there's there's a moment where you make that connection with with that new person.

Sometimes it's in, in a lighthearted sense, You know, you could tell them about waking up in Iowa on the second floor of the psych unit, you know, not knowing how you got there because two days ago you was in Las Vegas. Yeah. And that makes sense. They understand that,

or when they're sitting up against the wall,

nobody to to help them know where to turn.

You could describe to them what the end of that barrel tastes like because you were there.

You could tell them how it feels

to not have anybody around. Nobody. No more promises to break, you know? Nobody left a promise. I know about that kind of loneliness. You know,

he could tell him about the the despair, the terror.

And when you have that connection, I hope you don't let it go. I really do,

because they find something, they find a hope not only in you, but in a solution and a power greater than themselves. And they're talking about, somebody's talking about seeing them make those changes, you know, and, and you get through this work. If you're fortunate, if you're lucky, you get to hear them tell the truth about themselves. Now, you know how tough that was,

and you know how freeing it was too.

And you know what it's like to go and and make amends to your kids, your spouses,

your family.

You know what it takes to do that. And I hope you remember how to describe it to somebody.

And one day you're going to see this, this man or woman standing in the sunlight, they're handing gods. And you know, you had absolutely nothing to do with that.

It was those men in that meeting in that basement, talking about what they did, how they showed up,

talking about asking for help, talking about being quiet and listening, talking about apologizing,

talking about things like humility, sacrifice, things I knew nothing about.

And one day, if you're lucky, you'll get a call from a family member at 3:00 in the morning

asking you what he has to do

to stay sober. Driving 100 miles down the street or down the down the highway, ready to run as deep into a into a pillar. Oh, I remember what that's like

out of options.

And if you're lucky, he might show up in the same city that you're in, and you might have friends to be able to call and ask them to talk to him. Because, see, I'm just his brother.

Yeah, I'm always going to be his brother first,

and I've got brothers in this program who

showed up in 12 step. My brother, They're here at this conference.

Another man came and picked him up the very next day, took him to his first meeting. He's here too.

His sponsor. He's here at this conference. His sponsor sponsor is here at this conference.

This is my family.

I'm here because of you.

I'll be back because of you. And I'm forever indebted for not only what you've given me, the things that you've done for me, but the things that you do for my family.

And you didn't ask for a single thing.

I love you for that. Thank you.

We're at our last panelist today is Amy M from the God Power Group in Aurora, Co.

My name is Amy. I'm an alcoholic,

my sobriety date is 11/18 of 1996. I have a sponsor, my sponsor has a sponsor and I sponsor women.

I'm I'm so grateful to be here. Thank you for sharing Roman and all the other panelists. I sat up here tearful the whole time and you know, the,

this has to be my favorite step.

The 1st 10 years of my sobriety, I lived on the crumbs of what Alcoholics Anonymous has to offer. I kind of did the a la carte version of the program because I wasn't going to do any of the God steps and I wasn't going to tell anybody any of my stuff. So I put like, you know, some of the stuff down on paper and I would do these fist steps with these old timers. I would say, Amy, you're miserable. You need to do this work. And so I would do these old four steps with these old timers and I would get a little bit of relief.

And, you know, I know what that relief feels like. And it was enough hope for me to keep coming back. You know, I don't believe that meeting makers make it. I believe that more meetings, more chances, less meetings, less chances. And I was going to a lot of meetings and I had the chance of a lifetime one day when I was at a noon meeting and this old timer that I loved in my life had died. And I was sitting up there at this noon meeting, bawling my eyes out. I drove to the meeting thinking about killing myself on the way to that meeting, thinking of running into oncoming traffic. And I'm

my friends sitting next to me and he elbows me in the side. And he said, Amy, you should go ask that girl to be your sponsor. And I said for what? I don't need a sponsor. I'm 10 years sober, I'm fine. And he said she has a similar story to you. And I've been struggling about a similar story and somebody being down at the bottom, somebody coming into her homeless with all the stuff that I had. And, and I went over and that girl caught me out of the corner of her eye and and she said, do you want to talk? And I said yes. And I sat in her car for the next 5 hours and I cried and

and she listened and I told her that I wasn't going to do this thing because of the God thing. And she sat down with me and she read every word out of that book to me and she changed everywhere where it said God in there to higher power so that I could hear it. And you know, if it hadn't been for her, I would not be sponsoring women today. I tried to sponsor women on the a la carte program. I did. And I created a lot of wreckage that I had to go back and make amends for. And I and I have made amends to all those girls that I sponsored in my first ten years.

But the valuable lesson that I learned in that first ten years was that I made those girls feel comfortable that I took them out to coffee afterwards. And even though I wasn't taking them through the steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, I taught them where the message was. And they ended up getting sponsors and staying sober and, and how amazing is that? And today I have people that asked me to do things like this. I mean,

who gets to do stuff like this? Not a homeless pregnant girl that comes into Alcoholics Anonymous at 22 years old.

I don't get to do stuff like this.

So after, after having had the spiritual awakening, I had the spiritual awakening and I got this fire underneath me that I can't even tell you. Like I wanted to do more. You know, in the beginning they told me you have to do this and you have to do this and you have to do this. And I'm like, Oh my God, I don't want to do any of this. So I went from half to, to want to, to get to, to love to. And today I love doing what I do. And when a woman comes up and they ask me to sponsor them, I want to find that hour to fit them in during the week. And let me tell you,

there's a lot of people that come up and ask me to sponsor them. And at times I'm like, what do I have to give? What, what else can I give to these girls? And, you know, I think I set my limit at 5 at one time. And I said, I can't sponsor any more than five. That's all the time that I have. And then then my limit was eight and then my limit was 10. And then I talked to a, a big speaker and she said, Amy, if people are asking you to sponsor them, say yes. And I'm like, if I sponsored everybody that asked me, I would have 100

girls. And so she told me how I could take these girls through a workshop and sponsor them all at the same time and, and do their fist steps individually. And that's what I started doing last year. And, and today I sponsor 19 women. And you know, I don't say that for any accolades, but these girls are amazing. You know, I, I heard your story and, and I have this girl with nine months and she's absolutely amazing. She is on fire. She's through the steps. She's the treatment chair. She, she does

and she is so on fire. And I, you know, I look at her and there's a part of me that wishes that I could have gotten it early on, but you know, I wouldn't have all those chain links would have gone together for me had I not waited the time that I did before I actually did all of the process of the steps. You know, today I get to do a lot of other things like I take a meeting into the jail and, and I started sponsoring this girl in jail. It wasn't part of the format, but she really wanted to work the steps. And she said, you're the first person that I've ever met that I trust.

And I started working the process of the steps with her. And the other girls would be having a meeting on this side of the room. And I would be on this side of the room with her listening to her fist step. And, you know, pretty soon she got sentenced to prison. And I got to take her through the steps before she went to prison. And today she, we still write back and forth to each other a couple times a month and she can't wait to get out and sponsor somebody. And

she's carrying the message in La Vista Prison. You know, she,

she writes me these letters and she tells me she goes, Amy, if it hadn't been for you, I wouldn't they tell me that I should not be this happy in prison. You know, like she, she tells me all these stories about how free that she is behind bars, that she's freer there than she's ever been before. So today I sponsor three women in prison to Endeavor women's one in La Vista. And when, you know, one of the girls that I sponsor in Denver, she is there for, for murdering someone, for running them over with

car. And I have permission to tell you guys this. And, and you know, I sit across the table with her and just like everybody else I've heard here today, you know, I sit there shoulder to shoulder with her. I don't look down on her because she's there for what she did. I know that I could have easily done the same thing. I don't know how many times I drove my car and don't remember where I parked it or, or how I got home or how I got anywhere that I could easily be sitting across that table. And, and this girl is on the 11th step and she loves, loves the program.

Alcoholics Anonymous. And she can't wait to get out and share the message. And her first ten steps she did with one of the guards in there. I mean, it was it was absolutely amazing. She didn't tell her that she was doing a tense step with her, but she went up and she did the whole the whole 10 step with this garden. And she said every garden here just tells me that they cannot believe the change that they see in me.

A couple years ago, I called down to Excelsior Girls School and, and I have a passion for teenagers

and, and I asked them if they had a, a meeting there that I could, that I could help out with. And they were like, no, you know, we have the same two people that have been coming out here for 10 years and we don't need any help in that department. And so I asked if I could just come down and tell my story. And that was two or three years ago. And today, you know, I get to go in there once a month and I, and I talk to them about relapse prevention. And these girls absolutely love me. They came to the corrections conference

a couple months ago. And, you know, it is so fun to be a part of something so huge. And I didn't even realize how big this thing was until I went to the International Convention, you know, and I saw all these people. I was sure that I would go there and all, the only people that I would know were the people that I was there with.

And you know, this, this thing is absolutely amazing. I am the CPC chair for my, my district, which that isn't a passion of mine, but you know, when I started doing it, it was absolutely amazing. I get to talk to these nursing students and medical students and tell them about a A and where they can send their patients if they need that and, and how you know how amazing it is. And, and I get to share the passion about how much I love Alcoholics Anonymous. I love that Roman shared about, you know, all

reasons that we do this and how we sit down with them and show them those first steps and tell them about Alcoholics Anonymous and that it's not about meetings, it's about working the steps. So, you know, I know if somebody comes to me and they've heard about me before, they're they're ready to work the steps because they're not going to just sit in a meeting all day long. And you know, I want to read a couple of things to you out of the big book that some of the reasons why I do all the service that I do

out of Doctor Bob's nightmare, it says #1 it's a sense of duty. 2 It is a pleasure,

three, because in so doing I am paying my debt to the man who took time to pass it to me,

and four, because every time I do, I take out a little more insurance for myself against a possible slip. And you know, one of the first things that my little old timer told me is that Amy, it doesn't matter how many of these people that you work with stay sober. You're 100% successful because you have stayed sober 100% of the time and I have states over 100% of the time. I'm going to close with my favorite promise out of the Big Book, which is on page 124.

Showing others who suffer how we were given help is the very thing which makes life seem so worthwhile to us now. Cling to the thought that in God's hands the dark past is the greatest possession, that you have the key to life and happiness for others. With it, you can avert death and misery for them.