The 12 step at the Primary Purpose Group in Dallas, TX

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I wish to remind you that whatever is said here at this meeting expresses our own individual experience. As of today, we do not speak for AA as a whole, and you are free to agree or disagree with anything that is said here tonight. In fact, it's recommended that you pay no attention to anything that cannot be reconciled with what's in the Big Book. Alcoholics Anonymous. If you don't have a Big Book, it's time you bought 1. Read it, study it, live with it, follow the directions in it and learn what it means to

a member. And if you need a book, raise your hand. John's got a few left and he'll schlep it over to you.

Some of you are looking for a sponsor. So will everyone who has taken our steps and have been blessed with a spiritual awakening please stand up so those looking for guidance can see who they can entrust their lives to. If you see somebody you want to help you catch them after our meeting.

That's always so cool.

We are glad we're all here and we're all here because we're not all there. All right?

I'm, I'm not going to waste anything. These times got a lot of ground to cover. Come on up.

Hello everybody. My name is Cindy Murphy and I am a very grateful recovered alcoholic.

And alcohol finally beat me into a state of reasonableness on January the 18th, 2003. And at that time I became willing to follow some very simple directions given to me in this book by my sponsor. And I haven't had a drink since then. And that is truly a miracle. It's a true miracle

God has done for me what I was never able to do for myself. And I'm so grateful for that today, where we are today, we're in 10:11 and 12:00. And it's kind of a speedy little jaunt that we're doing now. But but just for those of you who are new tonight and haven't been with us how long, I'm going to do a little quick recap.

The reason that I'm powerless over alcohol is because I have an allergy to alcohol to begin with. That means I'll never be able to drink successfully because my body is allergic to alcohol. If I put alcohol in any form in my body, I have an allergic reaction, and my allergic reaction is the phenomenon of craving. Once I put any alcohol in my body, I've got to have more and I'm never going to get enough to drink. I'm going to have to keep drinking and drinking and drinking, right? That's the first part of the disease.

My life is unmanageable because I cannot manage the decision not to pick up the first drink.

You see, I would drink too much and I would be very remorseful and I'd say to myself, I'm never going to do this again. I started doing that when I was 15 and I couldn't keep that commitment. Sooner or later I would pick it back up again. And I always thought that that was just, I changed my mind. Well, the truth of the matter is, is there is something wrong with my mind. My mind will always take me back to that first string. That's a very terrifying thing. My mind that I, that I thought so well of, can't keep me away from the

strength and, and that means I'm starting to become delusional. I can't rely on my mind. My mind is now broken. I'm a little bit insane when it comes to alcohol. In fact, I'm a lot insane when it comes to alcohol. And I can't rely on myself to keep myself sober. I am screwed at this point. So I, I, I'm beyond all human. A So I come to believe that that possibly there's a power greater than myself that can restore me to sanity, that is, that can keep me away from that first drink.

I found that to be true because I had a sponsor who could stay sober. I believe she could do it. So maybe I can do it too. And she's going to start taking me through this work and I become willing to go through the work. So I'm I'm making a decision to go on with the rest of the work. And that's step three. I immediately get into Step 4. Hi, I'm so glad to see you here tonight. I get into step four and I begin to see what's really wrong with me. And the root of my problems is that I'm selfish.

And that is truly the root of my problem. And I find out that I have other character defects. And through steps 4:00 and 5:00, I've become aware that I'm selfish, dishonest, self seeking, frightening and considerate. That seems a little strange, I thought. I thought that drinking was my problem. But these basic character defects have been blocking me from the spirit. They've been blocking me from this higher power. And This is why I continue to drink. This is why my life has become a shambles is that I'm so selfish,

dishonest, self seeking and frightened and inconsiderate.

So what I have to do is take some action to get rid of these things. So I've asked God to take them from me in steps five and six and seven. And and now I have to take more action. So in eight and 9:00 I'm going to make a list of the people that I've done harm to. And 9:00 I'm going to go out and start making amends to the people that I've done harm to. And I'm going to go to them and I'm going to tell them I've been selfish and dishonest in my relationship with you. What can I do to make that right?

Start cleaning up my side of the street? This is another way that I can get into action

and show God, I mean, business about these things, right? Last week we kind of ended there and there are these promises that we get. We get promises at every step, and I've tried to sort of bring that up as we went along. The 9th step promises tell us that if we're painstaking about this phase of our development, we'll be amazed before we're halfway through. This is on page 83 at the bottom. We're going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.

We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. Number matter how far down the scale we have gone. We will see how our experience can benefit others.

That feeling of uselessness and self pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

That's a mouthful of of miracles, isn't it? I used to think when I was in a A before and I would see those on the wall and everybody would talk about the promises.

You know, I can just hear it now. Don't you want the promises? And it was sort of a carrot, you know, out there. If you'll just do this, maybe this will happen for you today. That's more of a measuring stick. You know, these promises have come true in my life. They absolutely have come true. I remember the one that used to that used to attract me the most because I like to be in control, is that I will intuitively know how to handle situations you would use to baffle me.

That's not a nearly so interesting to me today. The one that I love so much is that I suddenly now realize that God is doing for me what I can't do for myself.

And that's just amazing to me today. That's the one I rely on because there's nothing about this world today that's in my control, right? You know, every morning we wake up and they're more surprises and, and I'm so grateful to know that God is in control.

So these are pretty cool, right? It says this thought now is going to bring us to step 10/10/11 and 12. This is what we do every day and we begin doing this as soon as we begin to clean up the past. It'll tell us that in just a second.

And you know, I hear people all the time saying I'm not really sure what God's will is for me today. All I know for certain is that God's will is for me to do 10:11 and 12:00 every day. That I know I could be real certain of that. So here we go, Step 10. This thought brings us to step 10, which suggests that we continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along.

We vigorous vigorously commence this way of living as we cleaned up the paths.

So as soon as I make that amend, that first amend, as I start doing that, I'm going to start doing 10. It says, look, listen to the Spirit. This next sentence. We have entered the world of the Spirit.

That's where I always wanted to be when I was drinking. You know, that has a lot of appeal to me. I'm not sure what that means exactly, but I love that Senate. I love that sentence. Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. Because you see, my, my job today is to be of maximum service to God and the people about me. So I've got to grow an understanding and effectiveness if I'm going to do that right.

I'm working with other women. I'm starting to work with other women.

I need to increase in understanding and effectiveness so that I can help them. And I can't do it if I don't stay cleared out, you know, from having done my footstep. Now I got to say, continue to stay cleared out. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime. And here are the directions, the very precise directions on how to take Step 10.

I've heard a lot of different opinions on how to do Step 10. I was at a meeting in New York one time talking with some people about Step 10 and someone interrupted and said, no, you've got to write it out, you know, on an inventory. Continue to take personal. Well, let's look at the directions in the book. This is what it says. One continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear. Next,

when these crop up, we ask God it wants to remove them. So immediately when these begin to crop up, when I

and see, I don't always recognize these things, but I always recognize when I'm getting upset, you know, if I'm getting really angry or if my feelings get hurt. I know that one, you know, I know if I'm crying and I know if I'm mad. So I know that's, that's my signal at once. I ask God to remove them. Then I discuss them with someone immediately.

I always do that. Don't I dare.

Sometimes it takes me a little while, but I try to do that pretty quickly.

We discussed them with someone immediately, and then we make amends quickly if we've harmed anyone. And I get direction from my sponsor on that one first. I don't rush around making amends. I always get directions from my sponsor on that one first because sometimes I'll rush to make amends just to get you away from me. You know what I mean? Just so I don't have to think about it anymore. Wrong motives there. You know,

it's, it's like when you're, I don't know if you guys ever did this, but when I was a teenager and I was in a lot of car accidents sober

and I would always jump out of the car and say it's my fault, it's my fault, it's my fault, right when it was

just because I didn't want anybody yelling at me. Guys probably didn't do this, but girls, we did that, didn't. We just just don't yell at me.

And then I love this part. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. And that's the very best part of this thing for me, for this girl who was raised in a church where I believe that it was my job to then go sit in the corner and feel shame.

I thought that was my job, you know, that it was that that was the spiritual path. The spiritual path was when I did something wrong, my job for the rest of my life was to feel nothing but shame. I don't know that my church taught me that probably didn't. But I somehow gathered that that was my job, you know, but that's not my job is to be of maximum service to others, not to beat myself up because that's once more, it's now all about

all day long, right? Thinking I that everything revolves around me and the whole world is drawn to A to a stop because of all the damage I do. And it's all up to me to to fix it. No, my job is to go on and see what I can do to be of help to others and get out of me. I've done what I can to clean up the mess, whatever the mess is that I've created. Move on. I love that I didn't know how to do that before. I never knew how to do that before.

I didn't First of all, I didn't know how to clean it up. First of all, I didn't know how to admit it right. I thought that I would disappear if I admitted a mistake that that I would just, you know, melt if I ever admitted that I made a mistake and to go to someone and and admit it to them and then, you know, to make amends for it and then not to feel shame for I mean, I had no idea this is the way you did it. What a wonderful way to do this. What a wonderful freedom. It's

love and tolerance of others is our code. I don't have to hate you anymore.

I don't. I don't have to hate anyone.

It's a load off, you know, it's not my job to hate people. It's not my job to even

to hate a sports team, you know what I mean? I mean, I don't have to hate

anymore.

I can. I can just let it be.

Love and tolerance of others is our code and as the result, we get this part. This is my favorite, my personally my favorite part of the big book. It says, and we have cease fighting anything or anyone, even alcohol. There's nothing about this that's Gray because I hear people all the time say I need to go fight for my rights here. Well, no, I don't.

I don't. I've ceased fighting anything or anyone.

I'm going to let God take care of this thing. I don't care what it is. I'm it's not up to me to fight for anything now.

Isn't that what it says? We're cease fighting anyone or anything. I don't have to stand there and be beaten up. Don't get me wrong, I'm supposed to walk away. I leave, but I don't. It's not up to me to fight anything or anyone.

And I kind of like that because I'm really chicken anyway. So now I've got permission. I can walk, I can walk

for by this time sanity will have returned. So now we get our sanity back.

It's stepped in and as it's been pointed out so many times, and I think this is so awesome, the work, the work actually begins. Well, step three begins on 60 and we're on 84. Who? Who's good at math? That's that's 24 pages,

24 pages, right? That's not. See,

I love to show that to people in treatment centers. They always want to argue because they've all been in a A and they know everything about a A, right. And they're sitting there stretched out and they go, oh, no, it'll take years. Yeah, right. Well, you keep on doing that. Watch us. We get to leave. You don't,

but we see fighting anything provide this insanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor.

I haven't. I, I am here to tell you that to this date I haven't been interested in liquor. And I've been around a lot of liquor,

been around a lot of liquor. Go to, I was in Russia not about a year ago and there's like bottles of vodka breakfast,

you know, it's a breakfast plate and and I wasn't even noticing it really at first until my children who are now in a A and have enjoyed plenty of it.

I just watched.

If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame.

That's pretty cool, you know, Have you ever gotten a taste of something you didn't mean to? You know, like there was something in it and you go and you just have to spit it? We react sanely and normally and we will find that this has happened automatically. We react sanely and normally. We will. I, I never react the same sanely and normally in my life about it. We react sanely and normally.

We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. That is the truth. I did. The effort I did was work the steps, but I didn't do mental exercises on. I will not care about liquor. I will not think about, you know, none of that kind of effort. It just happened. It it really and truly just happened just like you guys promised.

Just like you promised. That makes no sense to me.

It seems like you'd have to join some sort of health club thing or yoga or something, doesn't it? And really practice thinking about not liking it. We will see that our new attitude has been given us without any thought or Fern on our part. It just comes. That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation.

We feel as though we've been placed in a position of neutrality, safe and protected.

We have not even sworn off. None of us have taken an oath. We didn't come to a A and take an oath, did we?

Instead, the problem has been removed. Thank God. If it was up to me to give the problem, you know, to somehow do something with it, I'd still be drinking. Instead, the problem was taken from me. It was removed for me. It does not exist for us.

We are neither cocky nor we are afraid. I can promise you I don't feel one bit cocky about it. I'm sure most of you don't either. I don't walk around going oh boy, I don't drink, look at me, I don't feel that way at all and I know you don't either. I'm just grateful

that is our experience, right? That is our experience. This is how we react so long as we keep and fit spiritual condition. Oh, it looks like we're getting a warning coming up right.

It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do. For alcohol as a subtle foe. No kidding. It is a subtle foe because we are not cured of alcoholism. We all still have the allergy. And I'm here to tell you, if you don't already know this, the alcoholic mind is a booger,

right? The alcoholic mind is just amazing. And if you worked with other people, you know this.

It's no match for me. It is no match for me.

We let's see, what we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day when we must carry a vision of God's will into all of our activities. So every day I've got to maintain my spiritual condition. This is why we have 1011 and 12 for every day,

right? Every day I have to do 1011 and 12.

I have to stay in fit spiritual condition every day. And so 1011 and 12 is showing us exactly how to do that. And it's very simple. You know, it's, it's not complicated at all. It's so simple. We all almost missed it, right? It's very simple. How can I best serve thee? Thy will, not mine be done. These are thoughts which must go with us constantly. We can exercise our willpower along this line all we wish. It is the proper use of the will.

How can I best serve thee? Thou will not mine be done. These are thoughts that must go with us constantly. This is an easy thought to carry along with us, with us throughout the day, isn't it? I mean, at least it is for me. It's an easy thing to do. I carry this thought with me. How can I best serve these? I will not mind be done.

Much is already said about receiving strength, inspiration and direction from him who has all knowledge and power. If we have carefully followed directions, we have begun to sense the flow of the spirit into us to some extent. We have become God conscious. We have begun to develop this vital 6th sense. But we must go further and that means more action. So we got to take some more action. So the 10th step is something that we're we're doing all throughout the day. We're going to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, fear. We have directions on what to do with it when it

up. We're going to try to carry a vision of God's will into all of our activities.

If you want, This is something that I did and my sponsor had me do it. I have a little card on one side. It gives me directions for how to do the 10th step. On the other side, it has some things about the 11th step, but it also has on there that will not mine be done. And I had that in my car for a long time so that every time I I would stop at a red light or something, I would see that as a little reminder that will not mine be done.

You know, just just kind of a constant little reminder that would just place it into my consciousness all throughout the day. It was great.

When I first came into the program I was teaching school and I had a a computer monitor at my desk and so every time I would look it would be on my monitor. It was it was a great little thing to do. Step 11 suggests prayer and meditation. We shouldn't be shy on this matter. Prayer better men than we are using it constantly. It works if we have the proper attitude and work at it. It would be easy to be vague about this matter, yet we believe we can make some definite and valuable suggestions.

Yeah, it would be very easy to be vague about prayer and meditation. Everybody's got opinions, you know,

everybody's got ideas about what that means, but the book gives this very definite little map on how to do it. Very simple

it it takes us, it tells us when we retire at night, we constructively review our day, tells us that we're going to say once again, we're going to catch up. And if we missed anything in our tent step throughout the day, we have a chance to review one more time. Bill's real good at this. He takes us right back through one more time in case we miss something. He says when we retire at night, we constructively review our day where we're resentful,

selfish, dishonest, afraid. Do we owe an apology? Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once? Were we kind and loving toward all?

Sure,

what could we have done better? Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time, or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life? But we we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse, or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. And then after making our review, we ask God's forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken.

That doesn't take very long to do. You know, we could do this in probably 5 to 10 minutes,

and then we can spend another 10 minutes listening. This doesn't take a long time, but it does take some discipline and it takes getting away from the television and getting away from whoever you're sleeping with,

you know, getting off by yourself for a little while. And it's a great, it's a great thing. It just takes a little bit of practice and discipline to do. Then it tells us on awakening. So when I wake up in the morning, as I wake up, it says, let us think about the 24 hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self pity, dishonest, or self seeking motives.

So that's what I do when I wake up.

Ask God to direct my thinking and ask Him to divorce it from self pity, dishonest or self seeking motives. That's the very best I can do when I wake up in the morning.

And that is, that's a great thing to do when I wake up in the morning to divorce my thinking from these mothers. And I got to do that because my phone starts ringing about two minutes later, you know.

So I got to do that. And then I do my prayer and meditation it. But let's see what it says. It says under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance. For after all, God gave us brains to use our thought. Life will be placed in a much higher plane when our thinking is clear to wrong motives.

So that's the most important thing for me is to get my thinking cleared of wrong motives. And then it says in thinking about our day, we may face a decision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. And so we're going to ask God for inspiration and intuitive thought or decision. And now we get to relax and take it easy.

There are so many things that go on. You know, our lives sort of ebb and flow, don't they? Sometimes we we go along and things are going really well. And then suddenly life tosses us a whole lot of things. And that's something that's going on with me right now. A whole lot of things are kind of happening. And I'm here to tell you, I can match Calamity with serenity. This program absolutely does work. It does.

And and the good thing is, is that I can ask God for inspiration, intuitive thought or decision.

And I also get to work with a lot of women. We'll get to that in a minute. But I wait and I wait for God's direction on these things and sometimes the only thing I'm supposed to do is just go work with other people. I'm not supposed to get into the mess and into the fray and try and fix anything it says. We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while. One of the great things about being sober, just for as short a time as I've been sober, is that I have a frame of reference

now to know that when things have been rough, they got better,

right? And then there's a new drama du jour, right?

And then that will get better. And then I have a sponsor who can remind me. Do you remember? You remember how that one got worked out, right? And they do

anyway. What used to be the hunter, the occasional inspiration, gradually becomes a working part of the mind.

I don't know about this part. I'm still working on this being still an experience and having just made conscious contact with God, it is not probable we are going to be inspired at all times. We might pay for this presumption and all sorts of absurd actions and ideas. Nevertheless, we find that our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration. We come to rely upon it. I remember one time calling Darren saying I have the most creative, wonderful idea

and I just know God gave it to you.

She wasn't impressed.

And Adam Blamer,

I really don't, I read my ideas by her and I try not to act on those kind of things. I, I, I, I really want my sponsors guidance on my ideas. I truly do. Because, because for so long I thought my mind was so wonderful and brilliant. And I really do want her guidance on those kind of things. So I don't want to pay for this presumption

and all sorts of absurd actions. So I, I really rely on my sponsor in these things. It says we usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that would be shown all through the day. What our next step to be. I love the period of prayer and meditation and, and there are all sorts of wonderful things that can come of that one. One of the things that has has happened for me, that's been a real cool thing. I don't, my husband and I don't do prayer and meditation together, but he'll be shaving and I'll find something really neat that I found and I'll go share it with him while he's shaving.

You know, I'll stick it in on him and he'll love it. It'll be great. Or I'll talk with somebody I'm sponsoring or I'll talk to my sponsor and we'll share things that we're doing. The meditation and the prayer comes from all sorts of different places and we share it with one another. And I just, I love all those kind of things that we do together. That's just been a it's been one of the most delicious blessings because we all get to share in these things together.

I love being able to pray for others and not worry about me. That's been a great gift

because my life gets blessed no matter what. I don't have to worry about ask. I do pray for God's will to be done in my life and I pray for the ability to accept things. That reminds me of something when I first got to AA, you guys taught me the serenity prayer because I I didn't know much about that serenity prayer. God grant me this serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can in the wisdom to know the difference. And I remember thinking, what in the hell does that have to do with alcoholism?

Why are we saying this prayer? And what

what I've learned is

the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, that everything out there, right? The things that I can change is my level of willingness to try to seek God, you know,

and that's it. I mean, that is where I am with that one today. So I'm not, I'm praying for the willingness to just accept God's will with grace and dignity and, and to have some level of willingness to continue doing what I'm supposed to be doing, you know, just doing what I'm supposed to be doing.

OK. As we go through the day, we pause when agitated or doubtful. And just like everyone else, that's a hard one to remember to do, but that's a great one when I can remember to do it. We constantly remind ourselves we're no longer running the show.

Yes, some days that's better than others,

but we do want to remember to say to ourselves many times each day that will be done.

I love this. We do not tire so easily, for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves. How many of you were really tired during the Christmas holidays? I was really tired and I thought, I am really trying to arrange life to suit myself, you know, because I am really trying to organize it because I was so tired. That's a good measuring to see whether I'm doing that. And here's that wonderful line in the book. We Alcoholics are undisciplined.

No kidding. So we let God discipline us. Faith without works is dead. The next chapter is entirely devoted to Step 12, working with others. This is what we do.

This is what we do. This is what our real purpose is. We've been doing all of this work to fit ourselves, to be of maximum service to God and the people about us. It is the real joy of our lives.

Every time I'm asked to go do something, I never want to do it.

That's the truth. I mean, my first. You see, I was just telling Tanya the other day. My first instinct is always to do nothing

in life. My first instinct is, do I have to do anything today?

Could I just do nothing today? I would like to do nothing today. I would like to sit and peddle. And I mean really and truly, that's the truth about me.

So that has to be overridden.

It just does. I'm basically I'm lazy, but I'm never happy when I spend a day doing nothing. I never AM

my my instinct to do that is false. It's not a happy day when I do that. After all, I did that for really, really long time

time. I mean, you know that my day was about going to get liquor and doing nothing

except dream. So this new way of life is much different for me today and I love every minute of it. But I have to tell you that my first instinct is to do nothing. But that isn't what I do anymore. It isn't. I love my life today and going and helping other people is the highlight of my life. It is truly the highlight of my life.

It is our solution to everything. Our solution to everything. If I didn't have this to do,

I would go nuts with my own mind,

wouldn't you? I mean, my own life is probably an easy life, but every little thing can throw you for a loop, can it? You know? Oh my God, how am I going to pay this bill? Oh my God, Oh my God. You know, You know, the fear and all that stuff that comes to the forefront. He's going to leave me, right? He didn't love me anymore. Or you name it. Just fill in the blank.

Some IRS bill comes, you know what I mean?

Anything, you just name it. All that stuff that strikes fear into our hearts, it all. Any of that stuff. I don't know how we'd get through that. I couldn't get through it all

if it weren't for working with others.

This saves my life.

When all else fails, well, this is what I do

and I love doing it and I'm so situated that I get to do it. I get to do it a lot and I'm so grateful that I get to do it.

It takes me out of myself. It forces me to be in the book a lot. I get to correspond with women in other cities. And so I, I'm, I'm having to look at the book a lot, you know, and type things from the book. So it really keeps me in the book. I get to work with a lot of women here. That's so cool. It's a real joy and a privilege. So it says practical experience shows that nothing so much will ensure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcohol.

It works when other activities fail. This is our 12th suggestion. Carry this message to other Alcoholics. You can help when no one else can. You can secure their confidence when others fail. Remember, they are very ill.

Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends. This is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives.

Everyone's a little bit shy about doing this at first. We don't think we know how to do it.

Umm, we're afraid to go out to treatment centers because we're afraid that we won't be glib, you know, we're afraid that that they will be bored with us or won't like us. We're all that ego stuff sets in and what we have to know is a we have directions on exactly how to do it. We're we're not there to entertain,

right? We're there to bring hope to people who are dying from this horrible, deadly, deadly disease.

You know we have. We know the truth, we know that. We know what it's like to be sitting in their seats.

We know better than the doctors who are treating them, what they're going through. And we have a way out that works. We're in better shape than the doctors are because we actually have a way out, you know, that doesn't involve prescriptions.

We have a way out

and we can find these people, the book says. You can easily find these people. We can. They're hospitals. They're places everywhere, everywhere, everywhere. I'll tell you, I I remember thinking

there are so many women just like me who are sitting in their bedrooms

dying of the disease of alcoholism and how can I find them? You know, they're too proud to go to Alcoholics Anonymous.

Maybe at some point they'll wind up in a treatment center and I just want to go knock on doors,

you know? Are you in there? Because I know they are. I just know it. I think they're on my street,

you know, because the blinds are drawn. You know, I want to go look in their trash can

because we know it,

right?

And there's a way out because, you know, there are a lot, I mean, women, especially women in some of these neighborhoods, they're too, they're too proud to go to AA or to reach out for help. They're scared. It says when you discover a prospect for Alcoholics Anonymous, find out all you can about him. If he doesn't want to stop drinking, don't waste time trying to persuade it. You may spoil a later opportunity.

This advice is given for his family also. We got to work with their families also and talk with them. But that's a great opportunity and with their employers. Anita had an opportunity just this week to talk with some employers about this. I, I had the opportunity to do that too. It's a, it's a great, you know, those are great things. Sometimes the employee doesn't want to stop drinking, but it's a great opportunity. The employee doesn't want to stop drinking, but it's a great opportunity to turn the employer on to what we do and the truth about Alcoholics Anonymous.

Most people don't know how great Alcoholics Anonymous is. They don't have a very good opinion of people like us.

We have very specific directions on how to work with these people.

I'm not going to go completely all through this thing because this is stuff we can read and I'm running out of time. But it says if you were satisfied that he is a real alcoholic, begin to dwell on the hopeless feature of the malady. Sometimes people are afraid to do that. I remember I was at Homeward Bound one time and I was talking to a woman and I was telling her she was hopeless,

she's going to die from this disease. And we were talking and some nurse came running up to me and said don't tell her that. It's the truth.

It is hopeless.

We have to tell the truth.

It absolutely is hopeless. We're not talking about a fashionable little cork, you know, like a hiccup in life.

The phase we're going through, if we are real, if, if we are real alcoholic, it is absolutely hopeless.

But getting the person to know if that's the truth, that's the real, that's the important thing,

and that's the key to this whole process is if they believe it not whether or not we believe it,

they have to believe it. And then once you see that, once they agree that that is their truth, that still doesn't mean that they believe that's their truth, right? When we work with people all the time, you know where they say, yeah, that's me, that's me, that's me. But when it comes to taking action, you can see that they really don't believe it. To them, that's a tough thing. And that's when I get turned to this wonderful page, page 96.

Do not be discouraged if your prospect does not respond at once.

How many times have you been referred to this page? Because that's the thing that's discouraging for us when we first start working with others. So often, so often, so often. And what helps for me is because I was that person for so many years that that wouldn't or couldn't get it.

So I understand when someone's not willing to go to any length to get sober. I understand that because that was me.

It says search out another alcoholic and try again. You are sure to find someone desperate enough.