Step 12 at a sponsorship and 12 Step workshop in Dallas, TX

Pretty cool stuff, and it's going to go on and talk about Step 12, which is vastly more important.

It is

hustle up Step 11 because I don't think God wakes up in the morning. He says I'm going to be Michael today,

not impersonating.

For some reason. I wake up in the morning. I want to be God. You know, there's nothing worse than doing God's will, and he doesn't know you're doing it,

you know?

And that's the other thing we forget.

You know, early on

it's amazing what I thought God's will was.

So don't be so amazed with what

these new little protegees come up with. I mean, we all had grand ideas,

but now that we've learned so simply how to connect with God on a daily basis

and pray for the knowledge of His will for me today and the power to carry that out, What a powerful, powerful step,

you know? And I'm getting in touch with the one that can save me.

I'm trying to be who He wants me to be,

not who I want me to be.

Now I'm ready to impact others.

He has got me exactly where I need to be

and it says Chapter 7 going to meetings.

You think eventually we get to it, wouldn't you?

Up to this point? They mentioned meetings once.

We meet frequently so that newcomers may find the fellowship they seek.

And I was in Bill's story.

But it's all about doing the work.

This is Chapter 7, working with others. Oh my God, what am I supposed to do? Well, we spent a great deal of time today on how to get someone through this work.

Yes, we explained the directions, but we're also directing it to how do I how do I walk someone through this process?

Let's find out why this is so important. Practical experience shows that nothing will so much as ensure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other Alcoholics.

Period.

Welcome to the

secret handshake of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Nothing will ensure your sobriety more

than you getting off your butt

in getting one-on-one

with someone who was just like you.

And we're going to make some distinctions, and I'm going to come out of the book. But there we've got to understand what the distinction is. There's a distinction between carrying this message

in sponsorship,

and if I don't understand the difference, I'm going to get confused.

There's a difference between talking at people

in talking to someone.

Makes sense. I can go carry the message and talk at people

extensively

throughout the week,

but am I working one-on-one? Am I talking to someone who is just like me?

Because nothing will ensure your sobriety more than you getting one-on-one

with someone who was just like you.

It will put you right where you need to be

no matter what your circumstances are. And intellectually,

nine times out of 10, it makes no sense why you should do this to solve that

in your life.

My world's falling apart. Go work with another alcoholic one-on-one. You don't understand. My life is falling apart. I heard you

duly noted.

Don't work with another alcoholic and call me back

but no bots click call me back.

OK,

as you can see, how was a knucklehead?

I was convinced my sponsor was hard of hearing,

but now what does the word immunity mean to y'all?

Some of you are old enough in this room to remember the illness polio.

Someone in your family was going back, was probably affected.

Three of my dad's brothers had polio as children.

Do people worry about their child getting polio anymore?

Why?

They have come up with a shot that they shoot each and everyone of us.

And guess what? No more polio. Children aren't crippled up anymore.

The problem has been solved

here in the United States does not exist for us.

If you want to know what your vaccination is from relapse,

it is this.

We got you to this point. Do this,

it says it works when other activities fail. Are you going to do other activities? Absolutely. You are going to come up with some winners. Joining health clubs, throwing yourself harder at work, getting a second job,

whatever. Volunteering in amongst your community, working in with your working on your relationships at home, developing your relationships with your family members. Guess what? When all of that stuff doesn't work, this does.

Guess what you're going to try first? All of that other stuff.

Go back and read Bill's story.

When all other measures failed him, going back to town's hospital saved the day as he could not find a job. The first year and a half of his sobriety, he was unemployed.

If you think it's different now, they were coming out of a thing called the Depression back then.

We'd have no clue how hard it was back then compared to how you have it now.

It works when other activities fail. This is our 12th suggestion. Do you have to do it?

No.

Are you gonna stay sober?

Doubt it.

It's up to you.

It's kind of like jumping out of an airplane. They suggest you pull the rip cord on your parachute after you leave the airplane.

Do you have to pull the rip cord?

They just suggested? It's really up to you. Once you leave the plane, they suggest you pull the ripcord so the parachute comes out and you don't hit the ground at terminal velocity. It's just a suggestion. There's no one there saying you better pull it. You're about to hit pull it. This is our suggestion. It says I love this, carry this message to other Alcoholics, not carry other Alcoholics to this message.

There is a great difference.

Alcoholics Anonymous is for people who

want Alcoholics Anonymous. The world is full of people who need Alcoholics Anonymous but don't want Alcoholics Anonymous. You dragging them to a a dragging this message or dragging the alcohol to this message does not work. I carry this message I presented. If they care to have it, so be it. If not, moving on to the next one. So I get the barbershop. He says. Next the guy gets out of the chair. The next guy sits down

next,

but here's where the whole book changes.

You can help when no one else can.

You can secure their confidence when others fail. Remember they're very ill. Life will take on a new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow about you, to have a host of friends. This is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives. You notice the new word they introduced on this page?

They're using it a lot. They use it 13 times on this page.

Anybody pick out what word it is?

Look at who they were talking to on page 88. Were they talking to you?

Hey, we're talking to we as a group.

Working with others is now talking to you,

no one else. We're going to talk to you now. You can help when no one else can in you. You can help someone who no one else can.

The living proof is Audrey and I can sit here all day long and say the same exact things

and eventually someone comes up to one of us and says I've never heard that before. Oh my God,

when I said it before her.

Do this for a while and you will see this. For some reason, your voice is going to get through to an individual when no one else's voice can

look back at your own experience. Did all of a sudden someone, It was like someone pulled the cotton on your ears and that one person who had been saying the same stuff that legions of people have been saying to you, All of a sudden it's all shiny and brand new to you.

Each and everyone is someone out there is

probably only going to hear it through your voice in the craziest part is you don't get to pick who that person is.

So our job is to get in the dirt.

See, everybody wants to make the garden grow. That's God's job. Our job is to get messy and plant the seeds in the dirt. The rest is up to God. God makes the garden grow

and he's pointing his finger at each and everyone he had when Bill wrote this and saying guess what? This is what you need to do.

Oh my God, how do I do this?

Well, have they left you hanging on instructions up to this point in this book?

Absolutely not.

They've told you when to take a step, how to take a step, What's going to happen if you do, what happens if you don't. It's precise instructions.

If I stick to the plan and I don't try to change it, if I use this recipe, I'm going to get the magical cake. It's like bacon, a world's famous cake. If someone comes up with a award-winning cake, you stick to their recipe. If you want the award-winning take, you don't take, take from and add to and expect

the same result of the award-winning cake. Makes sense.

We're going to keep it really simple,

but going back to the book,

it's littered with examples all the way from the beginning. I mean, let's run through a couple of them real quick. Let's go back to forward to the second edition page XVI.

Could this be true what they say?

Here's giving you a little experience of Bill Wilson six months sober on a business trip. It busted down. He's in a he's in a Ohio when he lives in New York,

he's left with $10 to his name. He doesn't have enough to pay his his bill, his hotel bill that he's staying at. His whole world's falling apart. He doesn't know how he's going to get back. His part business partner said You're going to stay here. You need to fix what went on here

and he's screwed.

He's about to drink. He's standing in a hotel room,

A hotel lobby down the hall. What's down the hall in every hotel?

Guess what he's hearing? The tinkling of the glass, the laughter of the crowd. And guess where his mind goes?

Man, maybe I could just sneak in there, meet an acquaintance

and then it turns into, well, maybe I could have a couple drinks and also needs like I am on

thin ice.

So instead of going into the bar, he starts making phone calls

because someone planted the seed to him and told him

and we'll cover it, what he needs to do. When these certain trials and low spots happen in your life, how will you survive them?

Before you know it,

Henrietta Cyberlink puts him in front of Doctor Bob.

A doctor. Here's a stockbroker sitting in front of a doctor,

and the stock broker is explaining to the doctor what's wrong with them.

Are you wrapping your head around that for a second?

That's kind of backwards, isn't it?

But at the bottom of the page it said this seemed to prove that one alcoholic could affect another is no non alcoholic could. It also indicated that strenuous work, one alcoholic with another, was vital to permanent recovery. What are you looking for? What are you trying to convey to your protegees? Temporary relief

of a recovering process that lasts a lifetime. Or are you trying to? Are you looking for permanent recovery? And are you trying to convey permanent recovery

to your protegees?

Well, here's the magic handshake. What does the vital mean

of life?

You cannot take this away and maintain sobriety. If you're the real alcoholic, it's vital. It's like someone taking away your your heart. How long are you going to live? Not long,

this combination. Well, what could someone have possibly said? The bill. Let's flip over to page 14 right at the bottom of the page. Bill sitting in town's hospital. He has not even left treatment yet. He has had what we know as a vital spiritual experience as a result of this work. In a very short period of time, he had, God had came to him.

Boom. He had what they call the burning Bush experience. I mean, it was God came to him. His was not an awakening over time. He's freaking out. He doesn't know what's happened to him, and Ebby just got done walking him through the steps in a matter of a two day period.

He hasn't even left yet. But before Bill left the hospital, here's a conversation Abby had with Bill. My friend had emphasized the absolute necessity of demonstrating these principles in all my affairs, particularly was an imperative to work with others as he had worked with me. Faith without works is dead, he said. And how appallingly true for the alcoholic. For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work

and self sacrifice,

you getting out of you in the midst of all of your little life and going and helping another person, welcome to self sacrifice. Doing the work that we have laid out. This is what we're going to be asking of these newcomers. You're not going to survive the certain trials and low spots ahead because guess what?

If you're trying to paint the picture that life is going to be happily ever after to the people that you're carrying this message to,

you're wrong. Stuff happens. Life goes on. People who are born, people die, jobs are gained, jobs are lost. Stuff happens in life.

Eventually they're going to run into something that is going to be a low spot. How are they going to survive it?

And this is what Abby was stressing to Bill before he ever left Tom's hospital. Guess what got him making those phone calls that day? Ebby planting that seed, getting in the dirt and letting Bill know exactly what he needed to do to survive. And he did.

If he did not work, he surely would drink again. And if he drank, he surely would die. Then faith would be dead indeed. With us, that is just like that. It is our job to plant the seed to the newcomer of what is going to be expected of them.

So what do I do with this newcomer once it's in front of me? Let's look at Chapter 7 and kind of briefly go through this. I'm not going to go through it all. I'm going to paraphrase a lot, but there's some bullet points that just walk you through this thing and it's so simple you aren't going to believe it's going to work.

I'm top of the page 90. It says when you discover a prospect for Alcoholics Anonymous, find out all you can about him.

Don't be beating them over the head with a book and tell them they need to be doing this and tell them all about what you're doing to stay sober.

Wrong answer. You don't even know who you have in front of you.

First of all, find out if they want to stop drinking. Believe it or not, people end up in treatment facilities,

AA meetings,

jails, all sorts of situations that have nothing to do with wanting to stop drinking.

I went to a treatment facility as an option, not going to jail. It had nothing to do with me not drinking.

I went to a treatment facility trying to keep her.

It really had nothing to do with not drinking. It was I was trying to get the fires put out in my life. I went to a two treatment facilities trying to keep a job

with a lurking notion. Somehow, someway, I'm going to see. I've got to get some information out of these people. If they don't want to stop, don't waste your time. You might spoil a later opportunity of trying to shove something down their throat. It says get an idea of their behavior, their problems, their backgrounds, the serious of their condition. They're religious leanings. Why? Because I need to be able to place myself in their shoes.

I can remember, I can't forget who I am

and I'm trying to get to where they're at.

They're sitting there confused. They have no idea what's going on. How should I approach them? Because you can't approach each individual the same way. There's no cookie cutter way of approaching someone. It's our job to find out the best we can and try to attempt to carry this. And you know what? It's a learning process

and you will get better at it

to. Sometimes it's better to wait till he goes on a binge.

Unfortunately in these rooms, we're scared of people doing it again.

Sometimes people have to do it again. Sometimes relapse is part of getting to where they need to get.

Is it dangerous? Absolutely.

But I can't keep someone from taking their last drink, and the last thing I want to do is get in the way of it and trying to talk them into not wanting to do it. I can't talk someone into the desperation, but once they come off that last Bender, guess when they're the most receptive right at that moment. My job is to be there at the last

gas dying breath.

I see him 30 days after their last drink. They're bulletproof all over again.

Call on him when he is still jittery in the middle of page 91. He'll be more receptive when depressed. Absolutely. When are you the most open minded?

When you are ground to a pulp.

So what do I do once I get that opportunity? I see them alone. At first, engage in any general conversation, but after a while turn the talk to some phase of drinking. Here's where your story becomes your greatest asset. God has already made a promise happen in your life that He took your greatest liability and turned it into your greatest asset.

I thought alcoholism was my greatest liability. You know what the best thing that ever happened to me is?

I became an alcoholic,

as crazy as that sounds, because prior

I wouldn't want to help you unless I could get your wallet or something out of you. And you know what? Today,

God has turned my greatest liability into my greatest asset. My story

is my experience,

so I'm going to tell them about my drinking habits.

What caught my attention was a man looked at me and said it was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.

And what?

Because you know what everybody's been telling me for the last 15 years how bad it is.

And also in this guy's like, it was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. It was like someone handed him the keys to the Kingdom once he did it. And I'm like, absolutely. I don't know where my phone is half the time, but I know exactly when I experience what alcohol can do for me

and it's stamped in and all sudden I'm seeing that head nod up and down.

And then I start telling them what happened and

I start changing the phase of the talk.

And it's all about. The best example is the analogy that Bill lays out for you. The boomerang, your story, the flight of the boomerang, how the outgoing flight of your drinking experience was unbelievable. Don't forget that.

But at some point in time, that majestic flight of that boomerang, something happens and it changes. And it went from the greatest thing that ever happened to me to also. And I've got problems piling up. And I'm trying to not blame the alcohol because it's the greatest thing that happened to me. And also I'm conveying my drinking experience with them. And if I don't have this experience, I probably don't need to be in front of them.

And that's why one alcoholic can affect another is no non alcoholic can. Have you ever had someone try to help you and they'd say, Oh, I so understand. You're like, really? You're an alcoholic. And they're like, no, but I'm highly educated on the And it's like,

what?

But all of a sudden someone telling me their experience of how they attempted to control their drinking and just failed utterly in all of the different ways they attempted to control it. And before you know it, you've got their head nodding up and down. I'm not talking about Alcoholics Anonymous. I'm not talking about this book. I'm not talking about what I did about my drinking. I'm just getting them to relate

makes sense and that's what this whole you know. If he's in a serious mood, dwell on the troubles liquors cause, being careful not to moralize or lecture. If he is in a light mood, tell him some humorous stories is your escapades. Get him to tell you some of his when he sees you know all about the drinking game commenced to describe yourself as an alcoholic. Have you ever called someone an alcoholic when they weren't prepared to be called an alcoholic?

Have you ever been called an alcoholic when you weren't prepared to be called an alcoholic?

It's not a good thing, is it?

Tell them how baffled you were, how you finally learned you were sick. Give them an account of your struggles you made to stop. Because now I've told them how I've tried to control it, and I failed utterly. And now I begin to tell them the different ways I attempted to never do it again.

And all sudden the head starts bouncing again. And if you have a person sitting there with a puzzled look and going, you know what? No, that doesn't. What happens?

All the better,

because everyone you come across isn't going to be a real alcoholic.

So don't try to make them a real alcoholic.

You know it says show them how the mental twist which leads to the first drink of a spree. If you don't know how to do that, go back and study chapter 3. That's what it's all about.

More about alcoholism. Look back at your own experience and relate how suddenly happened in your life. Walking through a doorway and all sudden I need to drink or I'm sitting there eating a sandwich and bourbon and milk. Sounds good.

Where does that come from?

You know, if he's an alcoholic, he will understand. He'll match your mental inconsistencies with some of his own. If you are satisfied he is a real alcoholic, that's a heck of a question.

Is it my job to determine if they're an alcoholic or not?

Some people struggle with this.

Some people say no. What does that sentence just say? I'm not here to tell him he's a real alcoholic.

But if I'm sitting back and I'm in front of an individual and I'm going, you know what

he's going. No, I don't lose control. I just drink. And you know what? I really don't want to drink anymore and I catch myself drinking. But I can go out and have a couple shots of bourbon and stop, or I can go out and get drunk.

Is he a real alcoholic?

Is it my job to help him understand what he is and what he isn't? Absolutely,

it's our job and if I'm satisfied he's a real alcoholic begin to dwell in the hopelessness of the future, I get to bring it all. Buddy. You're welcome to being screwed. There wasn't a damn thing I could do and no one around here all lists all the ways you tried to stop. If you're thinking they're not, you may want to bring another person in and have them sit down. Listen to them. They used to do a lot of 12 step calls, sending another person in

and just to get an idea of what they got on their hands. Because if they don't need to be in a A, why would you ever condemn someone to a lifetime of this work if they really don't need to be here?

It might have some divorce issues. They need a really good therapist to work their way through.

Doesn't mean they're an alcoholic. Just because he got a DWI doesn't mean you're an alcoholic. You could be a really bad driver. You have a couple 3 drinks and you run into curbs no matter if you're sober or drinking. Guess what? Does that mean they're an alcoholic? Rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous are filled with people on paper that have a DWI. Doesn't mean they're a real alcoholic.

See, our job is to help them figure out what they are, what they aren't. I had no idea what it meant to be an alcoholic until someone sat down and walked me through

this Is Doughnut this stage. Refer to this book unless he wishes to discuss it. And be careful not to brand him as an alcoholic. Let him draw his own conclusions, even if I'm convinced he is. He's got to figure it out,

but eventually the real ones are going to look at you and go, how the heck are you not drinking? And I'm drinking myself to death.

That's the $1,000,000 question we're waiting for.

Because then I get to bring this book out with authority. I get to tell them exactly what happened,

but if they think they can do it some other way,

go read Fred's story.

They were convinced Fred was a real alcoholic. Guess what? Fred was convinced he was not. Fred said all I have to do is stay on guard, exert my willpower. Guess what they said. Good luck Fred,

they left it friendly

time. Place comes, you drink again. You might be like us. You may want to hang on to our phone number.

They didn't tell him his plan was bad. They let him go find out his truth.

What happened as a result of that? He came back and asked what do you guys do to to stay sober? I found out my truth and then I lay it out to him and it talks on page 93. We talked about it. When we're talking about Step 2, we're talking about spirituality.

Don't get caught up in religion. A A is not religion, it's spiritual. The minute I start talking about a specific religion, I've excluded people. A A is all inclusive. Religion has no place in Alcoholics Anonymous, as crazy as that sounds. Because once I talk about a specific religion, I'm I'm separating. I'm not saying religion is bad outside, you know what, you can do whatever you want. But here it's spiritual terms, simple spiritual terms. So it's all inclusive,

no matter who you're talking to, the God of their understanding, whatever that may be.

And we lay it out on page 93 or 94, it says outlined the program of action, explaining how you made a self appraisal, how you straighten out the past, how you're now endeavoring to help, help, you know, endeavoring to help him. You know,

at this point, we're on our first visit. I'm going to layout. He asked the question. I'm going to tell him what to do. Do I get him busy doing a third step right that moment?

Maybe. But here's where responsible sponsorship comes in. If this guys been in and out of the program for the last 15 years and has had a head full of AAI, might get him busy right away. He's not a newcomer.

He's someone who will not do what he's been asked to do. There's a big difference. But if someone's never been in a 12 step fellowship, never read this book, I mean to say, all right here, why don't you go home and read the Doctor's opinion, Bill's story. We'll talk about it. I'm going to walk him through so they can make an informed decision on what they're going to do. So there's no surprise

you know they the most.

I love this.

I'm 95. I've heard people debate this. It says

sometimes a new man is anxious to proceed at once and you may be tempted to let him do so. This this sometimes is a mistake. If he has trouble later, he is likely to say you rushed him. And people say you work your people through the work way too fast and they bring this sentence up out of context.

They're telling you not to do it because look at the bottom of the previous page. Where are we at on your first visit with this individual?

Absolutely no, but flip the page

middle of page 96. Suppose you are now making your second visit

to the man. He has read this volume and he says he's prepared to go through 12 steps of the program of recovery they're making, and they know what the 12 steps are. They know what they're about to be asked to do and they're willing to do it.

Now I'm ready to get moving. The last thing I want to do is get someone doing a third step and they have no idea what a men's is.

Think about it.

Could you imagine being shocked?

A week later, you're being told that you need to go clean up all your messes and you're like, where'd that come from?

So I'm going to make them have an informed decision in Step 3 and I'm going to get busy. And at that point

we're going to get moving through the work as we outlined.

That's what they did back then, and you'd be amazed at how effective this is. Now

it's all about understanding what the problem is, understanding what the solution is, and making an informed decision. Do you want to do this or not?

And as long as we do our job of outlining the problem and outlining the solution and giving them the option, they get there at the turning point, what are they going to do? And we're going to walk them through the steps we so carefully outlined today.

Look at the bottom page 97.

Since though an alcoholic does not respond, there is no reason why you should neglect his family. You should continue to be friendly to them.

The family should be offered your way of life.

I'm a very pro al Anon person.

Tell you why

Alcoholics Anonymous showed up on my dad's doorstep in 1974

through one of his brothers and a member of Alcoholics Anonymous.

His brother was a member and he brought someone else with him

when my dad was coming off a Bender

and they tried to lay this out to him

and he told them to get the heck out of the house.

Guess who showed up the next day?

And by now,

two members of Al Anon showed up the next day to meet with my mother

because even though he didn't want anything to do with it,

guess who they knew was dying to

the family?

And guess whose job it is

for us?

All part of this 12 step. Don't forget about the family.

My dad got sober in 1976, eighteen months after my mom

got plugged in and got busy working the 12 steps of Al Anon to where her life was OK. Regardless of what he did say or anything.

Who's to say if they hadn't have done that?

I don't know,

but it changed his world because he no longer was the center of attention anymore.

So it's amazing how we can be helpful in so many different ways.

And even if the alcoholic themselves doesn't need help, don't forget about the family. You might get to the alcoholic through the family

and regardless if they stay sober or not, it's our job.

Carry a solution to them because they're dying and they don't even get to drink over it.

Wrap your head around that once

you flip over to page 98. And I love this one.

Does anybody work with people who have nothing?

I work with Bob and barrel Alcoholics. I came off the street and some of my haunts where I go carry the message and where I do best as people who come right off the streets. I'm live at the 24 hour club, basically

working with people who have nothing, not have two nickels to rub homeward bound guys coming in out of there right off the street and they have nothing. And it's so easy to get in the way of God through sponsorship. And the last thing you want to do is do God's work when you don't need to be doing God's work.

And here's where sponsorship is so critical in trying to stay away from God and relying on your sponsor as you're working with protegees. Because it's so easy to just pull out your wallet and make everything OK for this little newcomer. Because you don't like the way it makes you feel. Because you're worried about them if they're going to eat tomorrow or not.

And you see how my ego, pride, and arrogance can get in the way of God.

And there's a matter of giving. But we've got to figure out when and how to give.

And like they say in the middle of the page, job or no job, wife or no life wife, we simply do not stop drinking so long as we place the dependence upon other people ahead of our dependence upon God. And I have seen the most amazing things happen with guys that I did not know how they were going to survive when I got out of God's way.

And it would have been so easy to just hand them over everything. I got paid the rent, bought them food, done everything I possibly could.

We learn and sometimes it's you buy them a meal, sometimes you flip the 20, but you got to make sure you're not getting their dependence on you as opposed to upon God. Because if they're relying upon me for their sobriety,

let's face it, my sobriety is dependent on someone else, the rules are going to change completely.

I am going to be like handcuffed to that person. You know what I'm saying? It's everything is going to change. Well,

we've got to learn how to do this,

you know, and you might hurt some in the beginning, but that's OK.

You know, we're all growing and effectiveness and understanding and we get better at this through time. And you only get it through experience,

you know, and but look what it says on 100. Both you and the new mammals walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress. If you persist, remarkable things will happen when you look back. The whole key to this whole program is always when you look back, not when you're going through.

When you look back, we realize that the things, the things which came to us when we put ourselves in God's hands were better than anything we could have planned. Do I have any planners in this room?

If I get a plan what my life was going to be as I'm laying on a green vinyl mat at the 24 hour club shaking and bacon trying to get sober after moving out of my car into the 24 hour club. If I would have planned what my life was going to be like in the year 2011, eleven years later, I would have sold my butt short.

And that's

we've got to convey this to the newcomer. It says follow the dictates of a higher power. And you're presently living a new and wonderful world, no matter what your what your presence circumstances are, you know, exclamation point.

And I'll tell you, I'm living through, I mean, I

the last year and a half of my life has been an absolute turmoil

with my mom and dad. My mom has basically lived in and out of ICU rooms for last two years. She's been out of a hospital 3 weeks this year.

But doing this, no matter what my present circumstances, even though it intellectually it does not make sense, helping another alcoholic

allows me to be the son that I never could be. Because you know what I should be doing right now? Getting drunk because I

I am.

I'd have no tolerance for pain.

I drink.

And when everything is going astray in your life, when those certain trials and low spots ahead, doing this is going to save the day no matter what happens. And you will live in a wonderful world, and you will get to do those things that you need to do, even though your world appears to be just chaos.

And my sponsor knew what he was talking about when I thought he was just hard of hearing.

I just wasn't listening. It wasn't. He wasn't listening.

And when we do this and we look back,

we see what the power of God can do in our lives today when we fit ourselves to be of a maximum service to God and the people about us.

And it's that darn simple.

Thank God it's that simple.

And then we get busy dealing with to the Wives. It's a beautiful chapter,

trust me when you start looking at it in a different way.

My dad would have never got sober if it wasn't for Al Anon. I truly believe that in my heart. Do I know it for sure? I don't know. But for some reason, I truly believe it in my heart that Al Anon made such a impact in the underneath our roof that he wasn't left with too many other options.

And it's a great chapter. Al Anon another thing will make you a better sponsor.

Learning how to detach with love is difficult

when it isn't the time to give to one of your proteges. And they may get hurt And I've grown attached to them and all of a sudden I want to jump in the pool and save them from drowning when Al Anon's like no step away from the pool

because that's

has anybody had their family walk away from you and say we will not take part in your demise anymore? Guess what? That's what Alanon is all about. Detaching with love. Love you from over here. Good luck

and not getting neck deep into their your little drama over there. Either you're going to make it or you're not. Good luck to you. Love you.

We're going on with our life over here. You got to get to where you got to get. And it's an amazing thing that will make you a better sponsor when you get to that point. And it sounds hard to do. And believe it or not, if you've ever struggled with your protegees and got into playing God, you may want to pay a visit to Al Anon. Because guess what your family members were doing is they're throwing pillows underneath you so you don't hit the concrete too hard when you fall.