Step 10 at a sponsorship and 12 Step workshop in Dallas, TX

And we're moving on. And this thought brings us Step 10, which suggests we take continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along. So if I make mistakes now from here on out, do I add them to my 8th step list?

Nope,

they don't get to go to the end of the list. Remember, like I said, I've got 3 lifetimes worth of amends to make.

God willing I stay alive long enough I'll track down all the people that did not benefit from me being in their life.

And that list is long,

so if I make any new mistakes, I clean them up as

as we go,

it says. We vigorously commenced this way of living as we cleaned up the past.

There's actually little factions of a A right now that are trying to say you can't really do a good ten step until you've cleaned up all of your eight step list.

What a amazing interpretation of we vigorously commenced this way of living as we clean up the past. In other words, I get my little protege and make a couple of men's. They get rocking on and it's like I get them busy doing 10 steps

minute by minute daily.

I don't wait till they finish all their eight step list.

They might not live that long.

I get them plugged in and moving along. It says we've entered the world of the spirit. Our next function is to grow in a grow in understanding ineffectiveness. Oh my God, underlying that highlighted make it shout out to you because step 10 is no new information at all except for one little notion at the end of it.

Remember how I said that four step is so critical because every step builds on it from here on out? Well, guess what Step 10 is

putting in place? That's 45678 and 9:00. Not on my past, but on my right here, right now with what's going on with Audrey and I or what's going on with you and I in a few minutes out here, or when my father calls me or, or at work tomorrow or whatever it may be. I've got to be looking at what's happening now. When you were doing your four step, were were you

in understanding and were you effective at it? When you were doing your four step the first time?

I had no clue what I was doing. I'm just found directions. Guess what I get to grow in now? Effectiveness and understanding of steps 4 through 9

says this is not an overnight matter.

There's no graduation day in Alcoholics Anonymous.

There's no graduation day in any 12 step fellowship. Your graduation day is your day of your funeral. Same day

if you die sober, congratulations, you've graduated.

But until then you're going to grow an effectiveness

in understanding.

Makes sense.

There's no arrival. It should continue for a lifetime. You mean I get to do this for the rest of my life?

Yes,

but what is your other option?

Drink yourself to death.

And we're the only crazy people in this world that will actually weigh out those options.

Can I get back to you? Let's see here. I'm going to weigh them out,

you know, it says. So how do I do a tenth step? I continue to watch out for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear. Where we learn how to do that,

our first step.

I love this

when these crop up.

You mean they're gonna? Uh-huh.

Your whole lifetime

you will be resentful again,

will be in fear. You are going to be dishonest,

you aren't going to be fitted for a cross. I hate to break it to y'all. If anybody is aspiring for that, you know, walking on water. Just look what happened to the guy that pulled that off.

We didn't treat him so well.

This is going to happen. It's not a matter of if, it's when and when these crop up. What do I do?

I love this. Who do I get engaged right away?

God,

we do it in a little different order now

because where's my reliance got to be in

God.

So when I called my sponsor on a 10 step, Oh my God, she's not acting writer. The guys at work are driving me nuts. If you talk to God yet, no,

call me back.

Remember, I don't need my protegees relying upon me for their sobriety. Because if they do, guess what's going to happen to them? They're going to get drunk,

so where do we direct them to 1st? When these crop up it says we ask God at once to remove them period. Get God engaged. Oh God, here I am. I'm in fear again. What's that fear Prayer again? God, remove this fear and direct my attention of what you'd have me to be.

Who am I supposed to be right now?

We discuss them with someone immediately.

How do I know if my protege is doing the 10th step?

This is it rocket science. What's happening to my phone

blowing up?

I'm hearing from them. How do I know they're not doing a tense step?

I'm not hearing from them.

Someone 30 days sober is going to be full of what?

Fear. Guess which one you never hear about

fear.

And by the time it gets too late, guess when you finally hear about it,

when it becomes a resentment.

How do I become a better sponsor?

Don't forget who you are. Where were you at 22 days sober? A basket case. You should be hearing from your protegees. If you're not, you probably should have a conversation with them and go over what a tenth step is

not. Hey, everything's great, works wonderful. See you at the meeting tomorrow.

My first question is how'd you get there so quick?

If I'm not doing OK right now, 11 years down the road, this one moment, you know, And so I'm going to hear from him. I'm going to pick up. I want them to pick up that 10,000 LB phone

and show their belly to me. You understand that statement?

Go back for a second. Read the bottom page. 70 or 74 or 73. Excuse me,

this was beat into my head. Going into this fist step and going out of it, it says we must be entirely honest with somebody if we expect to be live long and happily in this world.

Am I going to be able to be honest with everyone in this world?

Guess who I have to be honest with on a daily basis?

My sponsor.

It's really easy to be honest to myself and it's really easy to be honest to God.

But eleven years down the road, Oh no, like he'll be so disappointed in my actions today. I just, you know what? I'll, I'll clean this up. I'll pray to God and I'll make amends quickly and I'll I'll

turn around and help somebody else out. But I'm not gonna lift up that 10,000 LB phone and call Ed and let him know how I stepped off in it and tell on myself. Because guess what Step 10 is all about? It really is telling on yourself

and saying, you know what, I am in fear today. I am. I got really dishonest with Audrey today.

Wow, Lewis is really underneath my skin today.

And we find out the truth and do a fifth step.

Because as I see it isn't always the truth. Even today as I see things, I need the three legged stool. And to think that your protege at six months sober doesn't need that

3 legged stool in their life. Shame on you. We get God, we get another human being in their life, and we get down to the truth and we find out what's really going on. And then we deal with it. We make amends quickly if we have harm someone and then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help the one new piece. Because guess where you're at when you're in the middle of a tenth step. You're in your little playground. Guess where the most dangerous place is

your little protege to be in their little playground of them.

We identify it. We clean it up if need be. We get God involved in them. We resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. It doesn't need to be another alcoholic. It could be that coworker. It could be the neighbor hauling in their groceries. We're talking get out of you now because you're in a spot where you're going to get in trouble.

Boom. Love and tolerance of others is our code. Welcome to what a ten step is

in what a ten step isn't. Anything outside of that little box isn't a tenth step. Do I hear from my proteges about something other than this? Yes. The other thing I hear a lot of from my protegees is they have no experience on working with others. They're just learning. I want to be hearing from that too, but that's not a tenth step. It may be if there's some fear involved,

but I want to be known about this continual inventory process, the continual dance of 45678 and nine on a minute by minute basis throughout their day. Does that mean my phone's going to ring in early sobriety on some like new guys? Yes.

Does that mean I should take on like 12 new guys today?

It's going to be hard to get any work done. It

anybody's phone blow up at work a lot

again, it's so often. Maybe I need to pass a few of these new guys down to my new guys

instead of my ego getting in the way

because me concerned about how many people I'm sponsoring right now. Guess who? That's all about

me.

God wants me to fit myself to be of maximum service to God and the people about Him.

And that's what this thing is all about. And that's remember, you should be hearing from your new people a lot early on.

You should be hearing from them a lot on a daily basis. You start stacking some guys up, your phones going to be busy.

Here's what comes with sponsorship. That's why if when I hear people say they're bored in a a, it's like really you should hear some of the stuff I hear on a daily basis. This isn't boring at all. I can't believe this, You know, I'm sitting back going, I just heard something today. You know, I'm not related, but I'm thinking to myself, you, this is not boring.

It's not. It's what we signed on to do. But here's the greatest promise in this whole book for me.

If we do this and we have ceased fighting anything or anyone, even alcohol for this time, sanity will have returned. What was the hope of Step 2?

That somehow I could be restored to sanity when it came to that first drink.

Did anybody fight everything in anything your whole life other than me?

It's always been a battle. That's why I always cringe when I hear people on TV. It's just a battle day in and day out. It's like, God bless you,

there's a way out.

It doesn't have to be a battle. The promise is what a great promise for this time, sanity will have returned.

You realize what page we're on

84? Anybody looked at this before?

We get this newcomer in, we get a little prayer going on page 63 and we get him busy

and they do that much work.

Does anybody see that

9 pages of that was in dealing with? How do they clean up their past critical stuff?

Do you realize the manual to my phone

on how to work my phone

right here is about 6 times bigger than this right here.

Yet we over complicate this thing as sponsors.

It's so damn simple. It seems we by reflex want to make it more complicated than it is. But if we stick to this and carry this message,

what the promise is after that little pamphlet of work they've done, the question you have to ask yourself is how long would it take one to do this much work?

It's amazing, isn't it,

when you really boil this thing down to what it is and what it is not,

and look what comes out of it,

but look what it says. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we will call from it as if it's a hot flame. We react sanely and normally When we find this happen, automatically we see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given to us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes. That is the miracle of it. We're not fighting it neither we are avoiding a temptation.

There was a lot of money spent on me that was given. The money that was spent

was for that way of dealing with alcoholism,

fighting it and avoiding temptation.

And guess what this says?

We're not in that game.

We don't do that.

We do this

in. We're not fighting it,

nor are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we've been placed in a position of neutrality, safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed.

Says it does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react. As long as we keep in fit spiritual condition. How do I keep and fit spiritual condition? By doing this work. And when I do this work, I don't have to avoid

in due battle.

The problem has been removed. What was the problem for the alcoholic

anyone?

Selfish self.

The problem is the obsession.

Me thinking about drinking was the problem. Where's the main problem center in the alcoholic?

What did it just tell us that we've been restored to?

So if I'm no longer thinking about drinking,

does it matter that when I drink, I drink more than I intend on drinking?

If I'm no longer thinking about drinking, am I going to drink?

Can they do anything for the allergy?

Medical science hasn't been able to do anything about it, have they?

They've tried. They've tried to create pills among pills to solve that problem that somehow stop the craving.

They've been unsuccessful at this point, just like they're unsuccessful with her allergy. When it comes to penicillin, they can't guess what they do. You just don't do that anymore.

When the Alcoholics problem has been removed, the obsession has been removed. Guess what?

They've been restored to sanity. Temptation doesn't matter because I'm not obsessing about drinking anymore,

as long as I keep in fit. Spiritual condition, it says it's easy to let up on the spiritual program of action. Rest on our laurels because now we've experienced a whole bunch of really cool promises as a result of this work. Been restored to sanity. Look at all the stuff from the 9th step. Look at all the stuff from the from the 5th step. Some amazing things that come true in our life.

It's really easy to sit back and rest on our past accomplishments.

It's really easy for me to say, you know what, I have busted my tail for the past eleven years. I'm really not going to go to La Hacienda today and speak all day long. I'm really not going to start. Really, I'm not going to continue to make amends. I've done enough work. I've got where I needed to go.

I'm resting on my past work, my past accomplishments to ensure my future sobriety.

It's really easy,

and as a sponsor, it's really easy to watch your protegees do that. And if you don't jerk them up and bring them to this page and go. Let me explain to you what this is all about. It says they're headed for trouble. For if we do, alcohol's a subtle fault. We're not cured of alcoholism. See, the obsession has been removed. But you know what? I stopped doing this work and guess what comes back.

I've been restored to sanity throughout this work. God is now doing for me what I can't do for myself. The minute I unplug from God and start going off and doing my guess, what comes back?

But they said the problems been removed. See

occurred and recovered. What's the difference

it

Well, let me ask you this. Is anybody even in here shot before by a weapon bullet wound? No, I sponsor a guy. He got shot.

He recovered from that bullet wound. I still sponsor him. He's alive

because he's recovered from that bullet wound. Does that make him bulletproof?

Does it make sense to you now?

Just because the obsession has been removed doesn't mean it won't come back.

And I'll give you the greatest example. Anybody in here other than me not pay their electric bill because it got in the way of their bar cap?

There's just three of us in here that has played this game. Oh, come on. OK,

I've been such a great customer with TXU. They should be understanding. I've paid my bills for the last five years.

It's June in Texas and my June bill just arrives and it's Oh my God,

I don't have enough money to pay this because I want to go drinking tonight.

So I take that bill and I set it right over here

and I go out and drink and when I come home, I turn on the lights and guess what happens?

Lights come on,

this is awesome.

I chunk along another month or so

and a new bill shows up

and it's even bigger than the first one.

And I'm, you know, my past has shown that I pay my bills, but

working out pretty good. So I set that one right by the first one,

and I go out and drink that night and I come on that night and I turn on the lights and guess what happens?

Come on,

chucking along, everything's great. Couple weeks later I go out one night, I come come back from drinking, I walk in the door and I go to hit the lights on and guess what happens?

Those lights don't come on

and also and I start checking fuses and stuff white bulbs.

Is anyone following me on this at all?

What day did I ask TXU to turn off my lights?

Which day I didn't pay?

When did they finally come around to turn my lights off?

So if you're sponsoring someone

and you're letting them slip on this and they come back and they don't understand why they got drunk again,

who fail?

Because if you convey this information to them properly, will they understand exactly why they got drunk again?

I bet each and everyone of you have. Do you leave today? If you get drunk again, you're going to have a really good idea of why you didn't

the day you unplug from the power. Does that mean you're going to get drunk that day?

Maybe,

but probably not.

But what day did you order the drink? The day you stopped doing what you did to get to where you were at. The day you make the conscious decision to not do that anymore is the day you ordered your first drink. It doesn't show up that same day. And here's where sponsorship is so critical because I've got to explain to them what they're talking about here. And that's exactly what they're talking about. It says we're headed for trouble for if we do, you know, for alcohol.

Subtle foe were not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. Every day is a day we must carry God's, carry the vision of God's will into all of our activities. Not just the days I choose. Not just the days I don't choose

every day. How can I best serve thee? Thy will not mind be done.

Welcome to the 10 Step prayer

and here's where sponsors responsible. Sponsorship is key because if someone's slipping in this area, you call them up on it. If they continue to slip,

now it's time to have a conversation with your sponsor and going am I going to take part in their demise?

And it's nothing personal

because the last thing we want to do with an individual is have them say out there a, A does not work.

Makes sense. I've tried it. It does not work. I got drunk

because we'll take you back to several areas in this book. Did you withhold anything in your fifth step?

Did you stop doing what they asked you to do? And if I stop doing it, guess what? I'm setting myself up and I'm ordering my next drink and to say, oh, everything's going to be OK. No, it's not. It's our job to tell them the truth. And that's what they're telling us right here. Resting on your past accomplishments will not keep you sober today. Period.

You reset the clock every day that you wake up, and it's like, what are you going to do to ensure your own sobriety? And it's our job to make sure they understand the information because if we don't, we're doing them a great disservice,

you know, but this is some powerful stuff with some great promises. But that's some pretty bad promises right there where they're telling us you don't keep this up. And if you think you're going to stay where you're at, there's no staying where you're at in a a period. Either you're going, you're growing or you're going.

We do slip back, but we've always got to be trying to grow,

and we do stumble and fall because we're all human.

But here's where accountability comes into play. And it's our job to keep the people that we're sponsoring accountable. And if they're not doing this, it's our job to call them up on it and say, you know what?

I haven't heard from you in two weeks.

Let's go over to page 85 and let's read this. Let's talk about not paying our electric bill and what happens in the day the lights don't come on. Don't be surprised,

you got some decisions and looking back at the commitments and going back to that Step 6 again that we talked about, it's the one that separates the men from the boys. Am I going to do these things that I don't want to do,

and am I going to not do some of those things that I want to do?

And you notice how it all just starts tying right back

to where we committed up in front of God saying this is what I'm going to do and we are going to fall short.

But it's also our job to keep it accountable,

because if we just bury our heads in the sand,

we aren't going to help anybody.

You know, I, I'll, I'll give a guy enough rope to hang him,

but I'm not going to help him destroy himself and I'm going to let him know. Here's what it says in the book. Here's my experience. Take it or leave it. You got some decisions to make. Come back and talk to me. Go sit with God. I'm not hearing your 10th step stuff. I'm not seeing you making those amends that you really need to start making.

Are you

get on board or what you're going to do? It's decision time. One more time,

and there it is. We're done

break time. Got anything else?

I think we're good. You're ready for a break? Yeah,

some of the smokers are getting twitchy,

John.