Steps 1 and 2 at the first annual Stay Sober for Keeps workshop in Laguna Niguel, CA

Guys, my name is Audrey Chapman. I'm a recovered alcoholic. Hey, good morning. I'm from Austin, TX and this is Julie Harvey, she's from Dallas, TX. If we didn't get to meet you tonight, our last night, excuse me, welcome. And we're absolutely honored and delighted to be here and really kind of taken aback by the amount of effort and engagement and just wow, what you guys have done to bring us out here. We're we're absolutely honored what we're going to do that the driving force of this workshop is called Sober for Keeps. So what we're looking at is what does it really look like for me to get set

path that ensures long term permanent sobriety, right? So that's going to be the goal and that's what we're going to keep coming back to. So we're going to take you through the book. We're going to take you through all 12 steps. We're going to look at as an as from the standpoint of going through the work. And then also what it looks like to take other people through the work. Because that's kind of the question. If you if you want to stay sober for good and for all, you need to learn how to sponsor. You need to learn how to carry the message because that in and of itself is what takes you to people picking up 15, 2020, 550 years of sobriety,

healthy sobriety, good sobriety. So this is what we're going to do. So everybody's got a book, right? I'm going to make a big assumption and assume everybody's got a book. If you'll turn in your book to the title page that says Alcoholics Anonymous should be a fairly blank page looking like this,

I'm going to take you to the first promise. And then we're going to roll into the step work on that title page where it says Alcoholics Anonymous. It says the story of how many thousands of men and women have recovered from alcoholism. If you don't have that underline, get your pen out. Recovered, Edie. Past tense. Which means I got well, I took some necessary action. I took some necessary steps in. The obsession to drink has been removed. That is, in fact, what that means. That's the first promise of the big book. I've got a note in my text

from Cliff Bishop and it says protect the integrity of this message. And so that's what we're here to do. And so we may ruffle a few feathers and that's so OK, But we're going to talk about the text and what this really looks like. So bear with us. What I want to get started talking about in step one this morning is knowing your truth. There's been a lot of people that have set in a lot of meetings and said, I'm Audrey, I'm an alcoholic and, and don't have a clue what it means to be alcoholic. There's a lot of people in this world that are drinking too much and need to quit. That's pretty evident. But what does it mean to be an,

to suffer from a disease of the mind and the body? What does that really look like? So we're going to delve into what it means to know your truth. So one thing I want to do is I'm going to take it into, into the doctor's opinion. Julie mentioned last night, if you haven't read the doctor's opinion, my goodness, this is the the synopsis. This is the snapshot

a couple pages in on XXV. I I I Roman numeral 28. Why they put Roman numerals in a book for drunks I will never know,

but but they did. We're going to look at what Doctor so forth gives us. And he went out on a huge limb. In that day and age, people weren't weren't looking at alcoholism as a disease. They were looking at as some sort of a behavioral, you know, defect, a character. And what he found through working with a number of us is in namely Bill Wilson, is that we suffer from a disease in the mind and the body and he's going to go into detail. I'm not going to read the doctor's opinion to you, but I want to hit a couple highlights with you on the top of that page. The top left hand line should say craving for liquor. It says, we believe

so suggested a few years ago that the action of alcohol on these chronic Alcoholics is a manifestation of an allergy. And what we're driving at is when it says we're powerless over alcohol, what does that really mean? So we want to get down to to the causes of it. I've got an allergy of the body. It says the phenomenon of craving is limited to this class and never occurs in the average temperate drinker. So what that looks like is

there's a couple of components to alcoholism. One is choice, the others control. What we're talking about right now is control. Once I put it in, can I stop? No,

I can't. But why? I need to understand what this is really about. So it's saying I've got an allergy of my body, which means that every time that liquor gets in this system, every time alcohol of any kind gets in the system, my body begins to do something called a phenomenon, which means it couldn't be explained. Back in the day, they didn't understand why that was happening. They called it a phenomenon of craving. Right. You ever been on the floor trying to shuffle to get the next one? Right? Anybody have the experience of telling the bartender, you know what? I'm good, thanks. I don't need another. No, Nobody

knows what that's about, right? Because our bodies, once I get one shot in, I'm going to have another and another and another, whether I want to or not. That's the baffling feature of alcoholism. This need to stop, this desire to stop and not be able to put the herb brakes on. Can't do it. Can't do it.

So it says I've got this phenomenon of craving and I have to ask myself the question, did I ever get enough? The answer is, is infinitely no for this alcoholic. I could never get enough in my system. Then it goes on to talk about never being able to use alcohol in any form at all. And guys, we got to get real clear about that. You know, any form at all, your body will not register alcohol as medicinal, right? Just because it's in Nyquil, just because it's in a pain pill, just right. It doesn't work that way. I've got to be really, really careful

creational just because they poured some bourbon on top of a really yummy dessert. Your your body won't know the difference. You're not trying to get loaded, but you will. And the problem is, is that any form at all, it gets in this bloodstream, it will trip the phenomenon of craving. And I'll be at the liquor store that night with with having zero intention to do so. So I see a lot of you guys relapsing around prescription pads. You've got to be careful. If it pours, read the label. Whose responsibility is this? Well, the doctor prescribed it, right? Did he know know? Then that's on you.

I've got to be real, real careful and accept some responsibility for this stuff and goes down to the bottom of that page. It says men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. Well, absolutely. Why else would you drink? I remember my mother said to me one time, I just thought you really, really liked the the way that it tasted. Said mother, would you drink a beer that had a cigarette butt floating in it? She said, God, no. I said I will if it comes to it. Ladies, I'm telling you, I

strain it out. I've got to have more. It doesn't matter. I'm not a gin drinker. Never have been. It's the most disgusting.

Oh, but you run out of what I'm drinking. I'm on it, Right? That's about an effect. This is not about a party. It's not about having fun. It's not about being social. It's about a need to get loaded. A need to. Once it starts, it's not going to stop. I've got an effect produce going on, so it says. That sensation is so elusive. While I admit it's injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the truth from the false. That's a lot of big words to say this. The internal shift that happens when alcohol hits the back of my throat. The magic,

the sensation where your shoulders drop and you go, no matter what's going on out here in your external world, it just got right. It just got OK. That sensation is elusive, which means that I can't always catch it. It's like a delusion that I can step up. Anybody here throw darts in a bar, right? I won't even get into that. But I remember stepping up to that line and being convinced I could hit the bullseye every single time. Now, early on, I could, right? But as you get more loaded and more loaded starts, you're hitting the wall, you're hitting people,

right? But the delusion is I can hit that bull's eye. It's the same thing. The obsession of my mind works in that very same manner. I'm convinced every time I pull up to the liquor store, every time I pull up to the bar, I can control it and enjoy it, that I can maintain it. That is a delusion that hadn't happened in years. But I'm setting it on fire every single day, right? Elusive. It's like trying to catch a fish and hold on to it. You're not going to be able to and it looks silly while you're trying to do it right? It's it's

elusive. And what talks about it being injurious? This is this is a question of consequences. This is a question of things that happen as a direct result of my drinking.

This is where some people chart off the path and want to talk about amenability being the drama and the consequences and the nonsense that happens in our lives. And I'm here to tell you, I know a lot of people that have drank too much in their lifetime, had a lot of consequences, had a lot of drama, and they stopped because of it. That's not unmanageability. That's about being too drunk, right? And having some bad stuff happen, you know? And So what we're talking about is while I admit that there's injuries, I can't tell the truth from the false. You want to talk about unmanageability? That's it.

My mind tells me, Audrey, you got this. Audrey, don't drink and drive and you can manage this. Audrey, eat a little something beforehand. You won't get so loaded. Audrey only takes $15.00 to the bar. That's the delusion of my mind is that there's some Ave. that I can come at this deal. Clearly you need to stay away from bourbon. Go back to drinking beer.

Anybody else done the beer experiment? That is a disaster waiting to happen, right? But I'm trying to control it and enjoy it, and the delusion of my mind is that I can do it, that I can pull it off because early on in my drinking career I could pseudo control this thing. More often than not. I didn't, but I thought that I was right. The false is every time I put liquor, alcohol in any form in this body, it triggers the phenomenon of craving. I get loaded. Bad stuff happens more often than not, and this is what we're talking about.

Insanity that precedes the first ring. It says to them their alcoholic life seems the only normal one,

right. You ever watched those of you guys that have been around a minute and watched some of the newcomers come in and then and their stories are horrifying and they're completely like, oh, this is my life. This is how it rolls and and you had forgotten momentarily what that looked like. If we to come to you at 7 and said, darling, here's how it's going to play out. Yura said, I don't think so. Surely not I would never let it get that bad. Let's do this. Who's got an alcoholic in the family? Anybody. Do you ever look at people like that and say, man, if it ever got that bad, I quit?

Then you surpass them, right? Or you set those barriers for yourself? If I ever get, if my kids ever see me loaded and I scare them, I'll stop. If I ever get in trouble at work, it becomes an issue with my coworkers and my boss. I'll stop. If there's a legal problem. I'd never let it get to that point. And you begin to set these bars

every time you bust your butt on them, you lower it a little bit more. Well, that really wasn't that big of a deal. And I wasn't loaded at work. I was just hungover. So it's gonna let that one slide, right? And you begin to make excuses and and justifications for yourself before you don't know who you are anymore. Can't look myself in the mirror. That's my alcoholic life. Became the only normal want. Waking up saying I'll never do this again. By lunch I'm loaded or planning to get loaded. Set it all in motion. The next morning I woke up. Remorse. Dang, I can't believe I let it happen again. That

is my normal life. It's not even really about the drama because there's more pain than drama, is there not? I mean, certainly some of us step in it more than others, but you know what they're talking about is that sickness of I want to stop so bad and so desperately, but I absolutely cannot. That's my only normal life. It says they're restless, irritable and discontented unless they can again experience a sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks. What do you like without a drink or a chemical in your body? Untreated.

Are you happy, joyous and free? I'm sure not. I'm irritable. Everybody and everything is on my last nerve. The sound of your voice is like nails on a chalkboard, right? I don't really know why you're breathing so loud,

irritated at everything, hypersensitive, hyper aware of everything. Everything's being done at me. Y'all with me, right? People are looking at you and you're going. What? They're looking past you. They're not even looking at you. Restless. Anybody here have sleep problems, right? I absolutely. And when you do sleep, you don't wake up rested. And the minds always racing, discontent. Nothing and nobody's good enough,

right? I'll be happy when I'll be OK If. Wow,

wow, what a darkness. Sense of ease and comfort, that's why. That's why I drink. See, I want to connect the dots to make it about an external deal. I drink because of him. I drink because that job is so much pressure. I drink because of the childhood stuff. If you had my life, you'd drink too as false information. Absolute delusion. I drink because I sent some ease and comfort in the bottle and even when it's gone

I'm drinking it anyway. Are you

welcome? You are in the right room. OK, This is what we're talking about.

The control piece is probably the easiest 1 to get your mind around. Once I start, I can't stop. That's obvious to everybody else in the world as they watch us. But it's it can be come fairly obvious to you. The the hard thing to wrap your mind around is this this choice piece? Because it looks like a choice, doesn't it? Who drove to the liquor store? Who bought the booze? Who who went home and immediately poured it down their throat sometimes on the way without somebody holding the gun to their head? Right me. It looks like a choice.

Who said they were never gonna do it again? Me. Welcome to drinking against your will. That's what that looks like. And that is the major component of step one. Can see if the allergies the problem. If I can't drink without getting drunk, what's the obvious solution? Don't. Don't pick up the first one. Thank you very much. Nancy Reagan. Right. If I could, if I could get with that, if I could wrap my hand around going. You know what? No. I'll just say no.

Then I'd be perfect. I'd be golden. And the problem is you can do that from time to time.

You can do that. Let's flip to page 24 and talk about what that looks like.

Thank you.

So on the preceding page, they're talking about this idea of people waiting on us to kind of pull it together, this idea of them waiting on us to pull ourselves up and go. Enough is enough. I choose not to drink anymore, and I'm going to kind of get it together. Right. And at the bottom, it says the tragic truth that if the man be a real alcoholic, the happy day may not arrive. He has lost control. We're at the top of 24. At a certain point in the drinking of every alcoholic, he passes into a state where the most powerful desire to stop drinking is of absolutely no avail. Stop for

did you catch it? The most powerful desire to stop means nothing. How many times you heard that in a meeting? You guys, you just really got to want to. You got to really want to. My book just said it doesn't matter how much you want to, you're going to,

you will drink again. That's the truth. And that's the death sentence for the real alcoholic. And you're going to hear Julie and I refer to that all day long. The real alcoholic, not the hard drinker, not the moderate drinker, not the guy who got in trouble and his wife suggested he come sit in a meeting. No, I'm talking about the real alcoholic. Don't spit, Doctor Pepper

says the tragic situation has already arrived in practically every case long before it's suspected. If you haven't read Bill's story, my goodness, go get you some Bill Wilson, right? Go back and read that story. There's a line in there that reads this

alcohol.

Let me not misquote it. Let me not do that.

I can't find it. Alcohol ceased to be a luxury and it became a necessity. Liquor. Liquor seems to be a luxury. Became a necessity. Can you guys get with that? This isn't fun. This isn't a party. This isn't about anything. This is about I have to drink to live and it's killing me. Quite the quite the paradox, is it not? Right? Happens long before it's suspected in every situation. Now it goes into some italics and it looks like this. The fact is that most Alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice and drink.

I want a good definition of unmanageability. There you go. No matter what, no matter what looms behind me in the past, I don't want that to repeat itself. No matter what dreams and aspirations I've got ahead of me that I can't seem to connect with because because liquors in the way, I can't choose not to do it. That in and of itself is alcoholism. I can't stop no matter what, right? I says. Our so-called willpower becomes practically non-existent in this area.

There are there's some men and women in this room that I know have some strong willpower. You don't believe me? Try to get them to do something they don't want to do.

It won't happen. It will not do it just despite you, right? We have willpower, but when it comes to combating alcoholism, it's diminished, right? The, the, the loss of choice and control around this is taking me to a point where willpower is no longer sufficient in this area. So it says we, we are unable at certain times to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first string and that's it. At certain times, I can't

recall the drama, the pain, the sickness of of hours, days, weeks, months ago with enough force to keep me from pulling in front of the liquor store, to keep me out of the beer store, keep me out of the bar, to keep me from drinking alone at home. I can't recall that.

Now here's The funny thing, the day it happens, sometimes it's enough. You ever had one of those moments? Think about this. Let's play this game. Nobody say it out loud, but think about it and get dicey. Think about this. What is the worst thing that's ever happened to you as a direct result of alcohol? The absolute worst thing. And a lot of times it'll turn your own stomach just to think about it. The moment where you said to yourself, I can't believe it got this bad. I swore I'd never be this person,

right? How long was it when you made that resolve, that firm resolution? How long was it before you picked up a drink again?

Day, Some of us hours, some of us a week, some of us a couple months. Kind of held it together and it finally broke,

right? Sometimes it's sufficient for short periods of time. But the truth is, the further away I get away from the pain, the easier it is for my mind to go. Well, that was then. That won't happen again. I need to not be in that part of town with those people at that hour. I need to not drink alone. That's, that's not a good deal. Let's make this a social thing, right? It goes to work on you. The main problem of the alcoholic centers in the mind, not the body.

We're all trying to stay away from the first one, but the problem is we can't. We're all trying not to trigger the allergy, but we can't.

That's what the deal is. I can't not do it. At certain times it says we are without defense against the first string. Let me tell you what, if you're, if you're looking for some solidified truth in this textbook, that's it. We are without defense against the first drink. I hear a lot of people in the treatment centers when we go to carry the message go, well, you know what, I've got some babies at home and I'm just I'm not going to do this anymore because I want to be a mom. How commendable, how cool. I get that. Guess what? Not going to work

where your baby's not important enough six months ago for you to stop. It's not about that. It's not about them. It's not about the love you have for your child. It's about an utter inability to cease what you're doing,

no matter how great the necessity or the wish. Can y'all get with that? No matter what, no matter what is anybody ever had the experience of having a consequence put in place before it happened? If you get loaded again, dot dot dot, it's from from a judge from an employer, from your spouse. I'm I'm out the door and you think that that's what I've been waiting on. I've been waiting on the reason, the good one. And then you find yourself picking up a drink, going, am I crazy?

And you begin to wonder, Bill Wilson used to contemplate that am I crazy? Am I of weak will? Is this a character issue? Is this low moral? The answer is absolutely not, absolutely not. I'm diseased in my mind and my body and I can't stop no matter what. And that's the truth. That's the truth. Now, a lot of times if we want to look at this from sort of a sponsorship perspective, trying to drive somebody into the first step, trying to get them to see facts and see truth, you can only.

The book you can only share your experience around the step. You can only that's when war stories are appropriate when you're one-on-one with another drunk trying to draw a connection. Right Bill Bill call that language of the heart so important. It's so necessary to identify. That's when it's appropriate. But you can't get somebody to see their truth. They're either willing, they're open to say, Oh my God, I did that. I drink like that. I felt like that. I'm desperate like you were. What did you do? You can take them to certain places in the book and

but let me show you something on 48

because this is when people begin to balk

on 48, about 7 lines down from the top, it says faced with alcoholic destruction, right? Meaning step one, the truth, the reality, the facts. Faced with alcoholic destruction, we soon became as open minded on spiritual matters and we had tried to be on other questions. In this respect, alcohol was a great persuader. It finally beat us into a state of reasonableness. Now in this context, they're speaking about some prejudgments towards spiritual matters. But I'm telling you, you can fill in the blank with anything. I don't really know if I'm like you because I'm a beer drinker and you're a liquor.

They'll they'll balk at all kinds of ways. But here's the driving truth. Alcohol is the great persuader, not your sponsor, not your Home group, not somebody branding you an alcoholic. Think about your own experience. How long did you did people tell you you were a drunk and you were resistant? Or how long did you sit in the meetings ago? I'm Audrey. I'm alcoholic, having no connection to what that meant because see, when I talk about you got to find your truth. I have to know that when I sit in this room with with you guys this morning and say, I'm Andrew Chapman,

I'm an alcoholic. I am utterly convinced on a gut, visceral level that that's my truth. And that's what drives me to continue with the work. There's there's a great handout that we'll have up here later for you. And it talks about this idea of finding the truth in the first step. Will Will

propel me into doing the rest of the work. And if I don't find my truth in step one,

my goodness, nothing's gonna happen. This is where you feel like your dragon protegees through the work, and it will become exhausting if they know their truth. I don't want to say that on tape, but Cliff has a great thing is OK. All right, Our Julie sponsor, Cliff, who I think hung the moon, FYI, but he he says that, you know, if if if they want it, if they absolutely want it. You can't beat them off of the stick. You just can't get rid of them. They are chasing you. They're following you. And if they don't want it, you can't give it to them with an enema.

And I've, I've never seen, I've never seen something more simplistic be, be more true. You know, if you can get, get a new guy, get a New Girl to see the reality and the facts. Because here's what you're doing, You're taking, they're taking their experience. You're taking the knowledge that you have of the text, right. Armed with the facts, you're matching them so that the big book comes alive for them. Because otherwise it, it reads like a novel to people that can't connect with it, It becomes boring. They don't connect the meetings. It's, it's a drudgery,

right? So we're looking for some sort of a connection. I want to flip back to page to 25, be quick.

Totally not understanding the schedule. OK.

All right. So then there becomes a. Once I can kind of see and identify with this choice and control piece and I can kind of look at it, then I've got to look at what are my other options.

This will become vitally important not only in your own experience, but in the experience of the men and women that you're going to be sponsoring as you as you go out from here.

At the bottom of page 25 it says this. If you were a seriously alcoholic, as we were, we believe there is no middle of the road solution. Let's pause and get clear on what middle of the road solution looks like. Self sponsorship.

Some of you guys have embarked on that fun little journey right where you sponsor you, you make you call all the shots. That's that's middle of the road solution. Go into meetings and not work in the steps. That's middle of the road solution. Working part of the program and leaving the rest of it to risk. Is this not comfortable? That's the middle of the road solution. I don't know about you, but when I got loaded, I got all the way loaded. I didn't do any half measures when it came to getting drunk, right? So what makes me think that I'm going to be able to shift gears and do it differently in recovery?

You either want to get all the way free or you don't. Was it? Was a little ever enough for y'all, right? Not me neither. Me neither. No middle of the road solution if you're the Real McCoy. It says we were in a position where life is becoming impossible, which means we're living in that first step. Can't live with it, can't live without it. Jumping off point.

And if we had passed in the region from which there's no return through human aid, we had two alternatives. I circled that word if in my book, because it's important.

I've got to know, am I without human reliance? Have I burned all that up or do I have a back pocket plan? You want to be mystified by somebody doing really well in the program and then burning off. That was about a back pocket plan. That was about a reservation. That was about a I'm going to do this for a minute while I get my marriage in order. And once I'm good with him or good with her, then I'll be good to go and I won't have to drink this. That's about a misunderstanding of the first step, right? So if I passed into the region for which there's no return,

meaning I can't get sober for the man, the woman, the parent, the job, the judge, the babies, nothing. If nothing stands between you and the alcohol, then I'm then I'm faced with a decision. And you know, I was told very early in sobriety by some phenomenal people, if there is a job or a man that will fix you, go get them. Run at it 100 miles an hour like your life depends upon it, because obviously it does. If you're out of options and you're out of plans

and desperate, you're at a perfect place. It doesn't feel that way.

It feels absolutely hopeless because there's no hope in step one, right? If you're absolutely hopeless and you're in, you're in a position to accept something better, it says. One was to go on to the bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable situation as best we could, and the other to accept spiritual help. So it's kind of like being at a fork in the road. I've got a couple different avenues.

That's that's a an easier sell when I'm convinced to the truth, when I know that left to my own devices, I'll drink until I die. Facing some spiritual, you know, bumps in the road for me became a very easy choice when I'm out of options and I've got nowhere else to go. Now it says this, we did because we honestly wanted to and we were willing to make the effort. That's conditional.

See, a lot of people want to tell you can kind of breeze your way through Alcoholic Anonymous. You absolutely cannot.

There are musts in the text. There are conditions, there are suggestions. You ever want to find out what a suggestion meant in 1939, Look it up. It's a subtle command is very different than that. We're going to, you know, skip through this and, and it's just no big deal. That's not the truth. So I'm going to take some time as a sponsor to go through. I'm going to read this text with you, not page by page. I'm going to ask you to read it. And then we're going to get together and we're going to hit the highlights and see, is this you? Is this not? We talked a little bit last night about the principle of honesty,

right? This is the point in which I'm going to learn to be honest, maybe for the very first time, right? Is this me or is it not now? None of us know how to come in here being honest. I was telling people in treatment I was an author.

The dumbest thing, I mean, thank God, didn't ask me what I wrote. I mean, I had nothing, nothing to go on. But I did not understand what it meant, to be honest. But This is why as a sponsor, you must be armed with the facts. You have to know to ask the questions. You have to know where to drive them back to in the textbook.

Sharing experience, strength and hope is a phenomenal deal. But if it's not backed with the facts from the big book, you're in a lot of trouble because what it will do will set you up to give it. Give this drunk a lot of opinions. And, and from what I heard last night, a lot of you were in and out for seven years, nine years, 13 years, couldn't get sober, couldn't hear a message. That's about being surrounded by a fellowship that is driven by opinions.

What a what a detriment. I won't get off on that tangent too much, but if you ever go look at the success rates back in 39 Go Clock, what they were doing.

They weren't chatting. They weren't sharing experience, strength and hope. They actually knew what that meant back then, and it wasn't about talking about where you're at today.

Experiences, what happened? Where does your experience line up with the text? The facts about alcoholism, the disease of the body and the mind. That's experience. Strength. What did you do? Work the steps, solidified with a sponsor, made some decisions, understood this textbook Hope. What does your life look like today? Where are you on a spiritual plane, Right not. How did you pull yourself out of your own problems?

So not impressed. self-reliance causes fear. Fear causes self. We won't even go on that tangent. That's for inventory. But I've got to understand the truth about this text.

I've got to understand this. OK, so I'm Julie Harvey, alcoholic Julie recovered, thank God. OK, so here's the deal. We're not looking to get anybody sober for to to watch them pick up a 30 day or 60 day or 90 day chip and then leave like we're here to get you sober for good and all. And if you look through the text, you will see

where it asks you again and again, are you willing to go to any extremes? Are you willing to go to any lengths? Are you ready to quit for good and all? It asks you over and over and over. So why is it that we come in here and we sit around and I will, I will say something about that because you know what? I sat in meetings for 13 years and I raised my hand and I said, hey, I'm Jillian. I'm an alcoholic. And I had no idea

what that meant. I had no idea what that meant because what I heard was a lot of BS

and sharing in meanings and sharing people's experiences of and people's strengths and hopes of their marriage and their job and the clouds and the traffic and their gas.

Seriously, not a joke.

So what can we do differently? What can we do to help somebody get sober for good and all? See, here's the deal. Like we come in here absolutely dying and it's one thing. We got to see the truth in step one. And and Andre laid that out really well. And I'm not going to keep rehashing it, but we've got to understand that when it comes to alcohol, we don't have a choice whether we're going to put it in our body. And once we start, we can't control it. And if you can fix those little issues and not do it,

our hats off to you.

Like, Oh my gosh, Hallelujah for you. Leave.

Leave,

but if you can't, please listen to what we have to offer

because we have something more than just not drinking to offer. And I didn't know that about Alcoholics Anonymous. See, I didn't know that. And the coolest thing is we do so, so we, we broke down step one, right? No choice, no control. So so okay, so then we get in this step two thing and it talks about we're insane.

God no. What does it say? Higher power, right? Came to believe that a higher power could restore us to sanity. First of all,

I'm like, I'm not crazy. Y'all are?

Because at Step 2 I'm still arrogant as heck, right? I still have all the ideas, I still have the plans. I still know what's better for me and you don't.

Clearly that's it. Bill had a huge problem with the whole God idea, right? I mean, when Ebby showed up, Ebby was like going dot dot dot dot dot. He laid out this great program of action and Abby's like, and then Bill's like, you're talking about God brakes on, right? There's a lot of us like that. I always say there's two types of people who come in here,

one with God, one without God. Not much in the middle as it I'm all over here. I'm all tight with God, right? Like I'm in the church, I'm starting a whole ministry. I'm volunteering. In fact, I'm on a committee that tells a pastor if he can get his pastoral license. That's how smart I am.

Then you have the guy over here. So. So actually when you talk to me about spiritual matters, my mind snapshot. See, you don't know more than I do,

right? And then you have the guy over here who bristles with antagonism when you mention the word God, right?

Why? Because he's so darn smart. He sits in his garage philosophying about life, knowing the solutions of the world. And he's so darn smart that he does it while drinking. And I'm over here making all my calls to my church ladies drinking. See, if we all had it, why are we still drinking?

That's why I love how the big book lays it out. They lay it out and they ask us a couple simple questions. Let's go to page 44.

Says in the preceding chapters, you've learned something of alcoholism. So we're hoping that you've actually read those chapters and we made clear the distinction between the alcoholic and the non alcoholic like Audrey was talking about. Now here's your questions. If you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely. Look, where aren't we quitters? We're great quitters.

Problem is we can't stay quit. It's like, how do you stay quit? I quit all the time, quit every morning.

Just can't stay it. Or

if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take. I keep drinking too darn much and I'm drunk every time and it's getting annoying. So here you're probably alcoholic now. If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer. That's the difference between me and that hard drinker. That's the difference. I have to have a spiritual experience. I have to or I will die of this disease

or live through it,

which is even a

uglier. So you have to ask yourself this question. Have you placed yourself beyond human aid? Have you done everything you can to quit? Have you marshalled up with your own will? Listen, I love at the bottom it says if a miracle of morals are a better philosophy of life were sufficient to overcome alcoholism, many of us would have recovered long ago. We're not bad people,

we're not I'll intentioned people, right? We all have morals in our own conduct that we like to live up to. But it's saying the needed power isn't there. Our human resources marshalled by the Wilbur? Insufficient.

It's kind of like I wake up in the morning and I say I wish not to drink today

and it says I can wish and I can will with all my mind, but the power isn't there. Just like I used to wake up and say I wish to be good.

I wish to be the best mom ever today.

The needed power isn't there. It fails utterly, right. I'm not saying we're bad people. We're not

lack of power. That's our dilemma. It doesn't say booze is your dilemma, it says lack of power is your dilemma. You better find another power.

So if we have two types of people who come in here, 1 width and one without, right? And we're both thinking, I know, I know, I know, we're both, I know in ourselves, right to the liquor store.

So what do we need to do differently? What did Audrey say? What is the greatest persuader?

Alcohol. Alcohol is the greatest persuader that's going to beat me into a state of reasonableness where I might be able to lay aside some prejudice. That's not where I'm going to be here, guys. At Step 2. I still think I'm smarter than you.

I don't know how to say it any more than that. It's plain and simple. I came in here knowing I'm better than you. I'm smarter than you. I might be drunk, but still, if you look at Bill right, Bill had the huge problem with with with the whole God idea. But

go to page 11 because this is one of my favorite things and then I love Bill story. He said, but my

before me and they made the point blank declaration that God had done for him what he could not do for himself. His human will had failed. That's what you need to be asking your proteges. Has your human will failed where it comes to what alcohol, because if your human will has failed around people, places or things go to Eleanor. See my human will has failed where it comes to alcohol. I guarantee you I can still control my husband

very well.

Don't tell him that

doctors had pronounced him in curable. Society was about to lock him up. Like myself, he had admitted complete defeat. Then he had an effect. Been raised from the dead,

the spiritually dead suddenly taken from the scrap heap to a level of life better than the best he had ever known had this power originated in him, obviously at a knot. There had been no more power in him than there was in me at that minute, and that was none at all. How cool is that? This power is absolutely real, and it's available to everyone. We don't get handpicked. It is available to everyone. We just have to be willing to believe that there is a power greater than our self.