The EURYPAA convention in Copenhagen, Denmark

How many zones? I'm an alcoholic.

Thank you.

I used, I've listened to a lot of speaker tapes and once in a while you get a speaker tapes where you guys do this on the tape. And I've always been wondering what the fuck is wrong with these people. And then I went to Stockholm two years ago and OK, I got it now

and this is how I am. I judged everything before oh and then later. OK OK. But anyway, I have my last drink in the 8th of January 1998 and my Home group is called Men, Men among Men. And we meet Thursday night at the

2015

at the Falgawa. It's a is the best Home group in the world. I hope yours are too. I hope yours are too. And if yours are not, if you, if your Home group is not the best Home group in the world, please change it or go somewhere else. I mean, that's my, my opinion and my experience is that the I need to be at in in a meeting where I think this is the best place to be for me. And one of the guys at the meeting a couple of years ago said the best thing. He said

my week and walls around Thursdays,

Thursday night, I don't go to the movies When my football team is playing a game, I'm at the meeting. You know, there's nothing else that, you know, work or maybe my family situation that makes me know God, not showing up at that meeting. That's my priorities. I need to be there at that Home group and at my Home group, there's guys there, the boss, my balls all the time. They call my bullshit all the time, even that I'm the fucking founder of the meeting.

All shit like that, you know? Yeah, exactly, exactly. They don't take me seriously, you know? They change stuff when I'm on vacation to change stuff and stuff like this. They don't listen to me, you know? It's just, you know, what is really good is really good, you know? But but that's how it's supposed to be, you know? No fucking bleeding deacons, you know,

I mean, it's just, you know, these guys to do what the group contents think they're supposed to do, you know, and that's great. You know, it's great. And

yeah, for me, yeah. I just, I cannot empathize enough how, how important a Home group is for me. Just I will, I will try to be sober in a little while. It'll take me two minutes. I'll get sober, hopefully. I always tell my my first winging story because it's just, it's described alcohol, alcoholism for me, totally. I was trying to be a part of a group,

well, grew up in Albuslon, just outside Copenhagen. And, you know, I didn't fit in. I had the wrong hair, the wrong clothes, whatever. And then I stole six bottle of wet white wine on at the local supermarket. And that was the exit to come into the party at, you know, at this girl's place. Because you know, when you come with free boost in your 13, you know, Yeah, you're welcome. And, and, and I remember opening bottle #2 I remember drinking a strong beer called 47. And I remember drinking some Bacardi rum and then

place it got sprayed with deer and perfume by my friend and sent home before 10:00 because I needed to be home at 10:00. But between the puking and they started drinking, the miracle of alcohol happened to me. I was suddenly a part of the gang. I was able to talk to the cute girls and the cool guys. And that was just, you know, whoa. And I just woke up and then, you know, I was just next weekend. I was on, you know, I was just going on. But I didn't like

the chase of alcohol,

like the effect. So why, you know, straight a million in a year, I was drinking vodka every weekend and when I was 16, I could drink a bottle of vodka and have no problem with it. And in between that I would I would smoke hashes in in the weekdays because then I could go to school and stuff like that. And then I, I ran to when I was 19, I escaped to Iceland because it was, this is for the Danish folk more of the hounds fault that I was smoking so much has that I couldn't see the, the the problem with alcohol yet, you know, because I'm attained

drink and then I went up there and you know how it is, you know, the monkey follows you and know me, you know, and I was just drunk again. As soon as I met the right people and I, I began to drink, you know, again. I like the effects. So I went to homeproof because what it's cheap is affordable, easy to get it, you can get it everywhere. And, and I just drank, you know, I just like the effect of alcohol. And, you know,

I got sober 22. I don't have a, you know, sometimes a young people's meeting. I hear, I hear war stories just like, what the fuck? No, I was never arrested.

I know. I never lost a job. I quit before they fired me. But you know,

but you know, I didn't do a lot of horrible things when I when I'm I'm at a meeting, I say when the reason I got sober is 22 is 2 reasons. And you can pick one of these. Either I'm a whoosh and it hurt too much on Willis Martin didn't have to do it for 20 or 30 years again and again. I don't know. I don't know what what's real. I'm a wuss. I don't like pain. I don't like pain. But the real thing is what happened to me is I

was at A at a farming school in Iceland and I met some guys that was about my age who's been sober couple of years and did 12 stepmoms away.

And I'm still grateful. I'm still grateful because I've physical, I could maybe drink 10 or 20 years again longer, but mental I was gone. I was done. I, it hurt like shit. And one of the reasons that I wasn't able to, to, to go just kill myself was because of my dad. I hated my mom at the at the time, but my dad, I just couldn't do it. And

and I came into A and knowing nothing. I was just like, you know, and, and, and, and, and for years after that, I would say, you know, I hadn't heard, I didn't hear about the big book or sponsor and, and steps and so on for about 6 months in a but what, what, what, what

now I don't know. Maybe people are talking about her all the time. I just didn't hear. I was so fuck up the first year that, you know, it was unbelievable. I just had no clue where I was and I was, I had, I had that in Iceland. Treatment is free.

So after being in a for a while, I've talked some, I got the idea, maybe somebody told me, I don't know, but I got the idea if I go to treatment that would fix me because I felt like shit getting sober. I felt like shit going away and I wasn't doing anything. You know, I mean,

one of my favorite quotes from the big book is on on on page 25. And it says

when therefore I was approached, it doesn't say I just make it me instead of we. When therefore I was approached by those in whom the problem had been solved, there was nothing left for me to do to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at my feet. I have to, you know, physical pick him up. I like the thing I have to bend over to pick this shit up to do it, because I would love to get the DVD version. You know, stay at home and my car's doing nothing but this.

Later, honey. Later, honey,

but

but I didn't do anything for the first four or five months in A and then and and when I was 4, four months over, I went into treatment and after 20 day they hadn't fixed me. I felt like shit. I just left. They have been doing treatment for what, 30-40 years? And I said, you know nothing, I'm out of here. I'm not arrogant

and I just I just, I just left and when we started going means Reykjavik and I was what you call a 5 minute guy. I came 5 minutes before meeting, left 5 minutes after meeting new, had no phone numbers, knew knew nothing.

I mean, sometimes, OK, I see. But I didn't talk to anybody and I felt like crap. Six months over, I felt like crap. I felt like killing me myself even more than I ever felt. And then I was sitting in the middle schedule feeling self self pity and you know how we feel and and and and look at the meal schedule. You know what day in Iceland and looking and saying Oh yeah, whatever. And oh, English speaking meetings. There must be some people there who know how it is to live on this fucking island with this fucked up Icelandic people who do it wrong.

So when to English speaking meetings, I guess what I found, I found people who knew what it was to have untreated alcoholism. They talked about the steps, or at least I heard it for the first time. They talked about doing the step. They had sponsorship. And most important at that time for me was after the meeting, we went out for pizza. Just as simple. Suddenly, for being a 5 minute guy, I stayed. Afterwards we went out shooting some pools, having a pizza, whatever. And I saw those guys, it was an open meeting. They brought in their families

and I saw that they could order pizza and get it the wrong pizza, not the pepperoni and not freak out of the waitress. And I wasn't capable of doing shit like that in the beginning, you know, and I I, you know, I saw this these things would happen and and so so I gave up because I was just wanna wanna be hippie. And the steps was just like, oh, it's a numbers. I don't want to do numbers, you know, you know, whatever, you know, I'm special again. And, and, and, and I, I just gave in and I got a sponsor and I started working the steps

and I've somewhat my sponsor sitting in the crowd. So I couldn't say this is not this person I had at the time. I have been bad in picking sponsors. The first sponsor I got,

he took me to strip clubs.

It doesn't do it anymore. He still so but doesn't do it anymore. I've never been to a strip club before because I got sober.

I mean, with a sponsor. I don't want to recommend it. I do. Don't do it. So don't ask me to sponsor you. And then and then he asked me to read before we read this big book you asked me to read Doctor Bob and the Good Alzheimer's. Have any, anybody read it?

When you're a new guy, you know, and, and there's no solution in there. There's a lot of storage in a but that's not what you're supposed to do. And then so he tried to solve me some life insurance blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So, you know,

he still saw, but he's not doing. It's a good guy. He was, he was a year sober. You know what, you know, you know, and, and, and then I got another guy. But we said and we sat down and we read this book and we did what I did, what it did. And, you know, and, and suddenly I remember still for me walking down the street in Reykjavik, looking into a bar, thinking I have no reason to go in there. I have no long to get drunk. I don't need to get drunk. There's nothing in there. And that was a huge miracle for me in in my alcoholism that suddenly, you know,

hey, I don't need to drink anymore. I don't even want to drink. I don't want to escape for me anymore. Since I first stole that white wine, the only thing in my mind was when can I get drunk next? How can I get first of all, when you're 14/13/14 the money. And at the time I have a lot of lots of that time, but you know, time and you know, everything in my life involved around getting those getting drunk. And suddenly I didn't need to do it. The other thing that happened to this English speaking meeting that

to because you know, we started issuing pool after with the meetings, blah, blah, blah, but I still felt like a guest in a because I had no job. I did nothing. I just arrived and you served me and I wanted to listen to your story and blah, blah, blah. I did nothing. What's the question? They elected me to be the coffee man. I had to come an hour before I should sit up the chairs, make the coffee. I hate coffee. I think it's a disgusting drink, but I make it for you.

Make the coffee, put the milk in a little, make the meeting room nice and suddenly for being a guest in a you came and drank my coffee.

I still give boost combat because for me there it's changed in AI became I stopped being a guest. I began being a part of and in Danish I always talk about, you know, you should check check a new plug in to plug in a start being a part of start being a part of and it doesn't matter what you just I mean in my Home group again, they don't elect me to be a shit. I don't know why, So I just deal the commitment. I just OK, should put that. Maybe a guy's, you know, he's supposed to put up the chest, but I do,

you know, nobody in your group elect you to do it, steal it, make the coffee for the government before it comes, you know, do something. You know you can do that. You can do that.

I went through the steps at the miracle of alcoholism happened to me. I didn't you know, I suddenly realized I didn't have to drink anymore and I had this age depressed and I made more most of my eyes steps nine steps in Iceland and then I went to Denmark and I had this eight step list and I put it in a drawer meeting here and there again in Denmark coming from my standard data wrong, you know, obviously used to Iceland. The gay came to Denmark fucked up meetings,

not arrogant.

And then

I began failing, feeling shitty.

Wow, eight step list out of draw. Did one or two nine steps in the draw again, one or two months later. I feel like shit. OK, I don't recommend this. And and it took me a couple of years to realize what the Falcon was doing. I was feeling shitty and I started going to social school,

social worker school to learn to be a social worker and my social workers today and suddenly it's 80% women. So it's suddenly it was more fun to stay at the Friday night bar trying to get laid, then go to the meeting and, and, and what I didn't, I said I worked as 12 steps. Sorry, I worked 11 steps. I never get began to be a sponsor or try to, to, to do anything about that.

And I felt shitty and shitty and shitty. And then I got the sponsor I have today and we sat down and we read this book page by page for the first time. I read, you know, the first ones who went took me through steps. We just read some of the portions. This time he read it

page by page. I've got some underlining, some shit we wrote down the, you know, in the book and stuff like that. And I saw when I was four years sober how the book screams at me, get better, help others. This is what they're about. And at four years over, I start doing that. And the miracle happened and I finished all my nine steps. I finished all the minds, all the nine steps of women that I've been doing. Also soba in all the shit I've been doing. Soba,

I mean, because the way of living in a, you know, half assed doing it. I had created some shit, you know, SOPA And one of the things I've been doing because I like to talk about nine steps also, is that I would I would I would I would I would call in sick at work without being it because I deserve that. I'm special. I can call in just say I didn't lie. I didn't lie. I told myself because I didn't say I was sick. I said I had to call in sick.

You know,

it took me some years to get well. I'm still working at that part.

So what I had to do in our four or five years, So what to do? The 9th step of that is I had to go on to former employer, employee, employer said, you know, I'm sorry, I stole my, my, my salary by calling in sick and then knew I was in a way, you know, when I worked there. And, and that was really a humble experience, you know, to go, you know, say, listen, listen, I called him sick, you know, a lot without being it. What can I do to make it? And I was so afraid they would say, yeah, OK, come in for two weeks and work for free.

They didn't say that. I'm glad. I'm really glad to say that. But you know, what it did for me is I have not been able to call in sick since without being sick. I don't, I don't want to go in that. Yeah,

yeah. I said I did all my 9 stable women. I had really this, I was fucked up on that area. Then I did all my nine step of women and I said to God, take care of it. I, you know, show her to my face. But the exact thing I said in prayer meditation, I said show her to my face if I should, you know, if she comes, show her I I don't want to do anything.

Some months goes by, I'm I'm back in Iceland,

actually a dance at the Eleanor Club and, and, and, and by that time I'm that healthy five years sober that I'm not looking at women that place because I know, sorry, young a sober women is just not good for me. You know, it's just not a good mixer. I'm not looking, I'm not looking at that. I'm just having a good time dancing and, and, and, and in the corner there's a kite that I know from my Home group there in Iceland dancing with a girl

and, and, and she sort of, you know, do something, you know, that'll get my attention. And she and at the time she bumps into me

and we start talking and she's not in a she's there because her friend from she they were Buddhist and, you know, doing, you know, chanting together. And she was there because she said there's a smoke free alcohol free dance tonight. You want to go? And she said, yeah, you know, because you know, if you if you

live like that is really cool at that time where everybody was smoking, dance floor was nice to go, to go. And then and she was there and we start talking and, and, and when I and when I asked God to show her to my face, I had 4 wishes, no children. I've been involved with that. And it's really as it's just difficult with the stepchildren. I mean, so if I could choose, I would like like to woman without children, no smoker, drinking, little or nothing and some kind of spirituality in her life.

And when I started to talk and it was just click, click, click, click. And I was just whoa. And since I've really, you know, I could have, you know, a lot of money or whatever,

but a few. But but what happened was that she got my phone number. I had to go home and wait

and a couple of days later she called me and went on a date and we kissed and she was my wife. Yeah, we met in 2003. We've been married since O 5 and

and my message here is I did all my nine step of women before I found the wife and I did not try to find the perfect wife. I tried to be the perfect man

and I fall short fucking every day. Just ask her. But I'm trying to do the best I can. I'm doing the best I can on a daily basis. Trying to maintain my spirituality with this card stuff, doing prayer, meditation and doing this stuff, staying in a a sponsoring and stuff like that. And I start sponsoring people about that time. For the first time I got a sponsee

where the wheel, you know, went into a correspond. CI had it for two weeks

and

don't know about. I've been talking about this a lot, but I don't worry about touching so much, but

I was trying to the airport one night with my my father and my my stepmother at the wrong driver clashed into us. My father was killed on the spot and

and

you know, if you had shit happen in a A, if you have serious shit happen in A and you are in the program, you know, drinking is not an option. I felt pain I've never felt before. I was OK physical. I got a, got a, bruised a little bit but I was OK.

From from before I went into the ambulance at the scene, I called my girlfriend, I called my brother, I come to my Islamic family who my stepmother's family and I called my sponsor. When I arrived to the to the hospital, my sponsor was there and my best

and AA got footstep in the sand. You know that story. Help me

going through the pain that I could not, you know, go through so far. And the cool thing about this, a lot of cool things happen here. But the cool thing is that the dude that I had sponsoring 2 weeks never been in AA before. We met up a couple of days later and he said if you can stay sober through this, I believe it works.

And if and if nothing else that me going through that soba can help this guy believe in a that's a fucking miracle.

An anonymous call is that this happened early in the morning, late in the afternoon. I talked to a therapist at the hospital to talk to people who end up in actions and like this. It was about, you know, 6:00 in the morning it happened and it was about three or four in the in the afternoon. I talked to him and he said, and I told him that I was in a alcoholic. And he said, oh, now people will understand you if you go drink. And I laughed and said another day I go to

not in the and I'm seriously, no, that was the first time I was thinking about alcohol as a solution on my pain. I wanted to wake up as badly as I never want, you know, you know,

I want to wake up for this nightmare every time, you know, all day. But it didn't happen, you know, but alcohol was not an issue. It was not, you know, it was nothing to think about. And and I told this story. I told this story the States a couple of years ago. And afterwards a guy woke up to me and he said, yeah, I know what you're talking about. I buried my son, you know, I, I knew I was going to bury my dad.

Maybe if it happened a bit sooner, but you know, I don't know. I don't know. To bury your kid and go through it. Soba.

I believe the program works. Whatever happens. I was talking to a dude the other day who said, you know, yeah, yeah, this is this happened. I went out drinking because of that. You know, whatever some girl or whatever I said bull fucking shit. Nothing makes you drink anything except alcoholism. Untreated alcoholism make you drink nothing in issues. What happened to you, blah, blah, blah. The best one I heard a couple of years ago.

He said yes, I went out because I bought this apartment. It was so difficult with the what the fuck?

I mean

the dude who wrote drove into us. He got killed in the accident too. He had he had. He was a waiter going home for work. 2026 years old left two small kids than her wife.

He was a drunk just like us. He's one of his best friend was in my Home group.

I mean, he didn't mean to kill my dad. Just happened. I had been drinking and driving a lot. I was just, you know, I was just lucky. But still, I had some resentment. I had to go into meditation and prayer to get rid of it. Is that what you guys told me? So GAIL got into meditation and prayer, and what I saw was a vision. And if you don't don't do prayer and meditation, you won't get this. I'm, I'm, you know, OK. I'm a goofball

in that vision. I saw my dad, him meeting up above

the accident

and hit the dude going up to my dad and says look, I'm sorry I didn't mean to do that. And my dad just said, look, it was accident, you know, it's OK. And if my dad can can forgive,

I should probably be able to book it.

And I passed on and I duly forgiven.

And you'll tell even more wild story about this is, I mean, this is just in 2007. My first kid was born. I got I have three kids within four years, which is just totally bad planning

on non planning at all. But, but you know what?

But I'm really grateful for my kids to teach me a lot.

But but but I wanted to call my first son Johannes. My wife wouldn't have it. You know, he's called Leo, second second son. I got my will and he's called Johannes. And and and and and 1 1/2 year ago I was writing an e-mail to another a dude

about the accident happened and suddenly I was writing the name of this dude who drove into us. I haven't thought about the name, but he was called in years. He was called Johannes. I don't know why.

I don't quest why, why, why I want, but

some kind of forgiveness happened there and I think I'm all right with that. I'm a good spot. I miss my dad every day. It's nothing to do with the accident, it's just my dad. I miss him, of course. It was my actually my best friend.

I tried to describe this because it's important for me if this had happened a year prior to this before I went down, sit down and read the book page by page Windows sponsor when I was still screwing people at Friday night instead of being at a meeting or probably a drank.

But when it happened to me, I was spiritual fit to conquer anything that happened in my life. So today I stay on that course as best that I can every day because I don't know what happened today. I have three kids. I don't know what happened. I don't know what has happened. I mean, and, and about this sponsorship shit. It's just been an amazing trip. One of the things that will really touch my heart is

when I sit down with another dude with this book trying to teach. Teach him what I've been thought, you know, work the steps, you know, and do it.

And I see him sitting at our meeting with a new dude and the book between them, It just touches me.

And I know all the life that I in my, you know, my family and coworkers and whatever that I touch is because I'm sober. And I'm not just sitting, you know, doing what we do when we're drinking because I'm sober. I'm a

I'm a member of the society. I pay my taxes and do whatever, blah, blah, blah, go to work and do whatever I'm supposed to do. And a lot of life is touched by that just by by being at these trying to be a decent guy. Most of the time

when I help another guy, I know that a lot of people around him is going to be touched about that. When he helps the next guy, a lot of people and if I successfully

and what kind of success. I don't know why how you measure it, but if let's say I helped 10 guys in my years in a,

I think it's going to be much more, but let's just sit in and they help 10 guys who have 10 guys who have 10 guys and who have 10 guys. Imagine just because I'm willing to step in and do what I was done to me, I can help build small part of helping a lot a lot of people. It doesn't take that much. I mean,

I have to eat every day and she and eat a lot and to

to be functional I have to brush my teeth, I have to take a shower and stuff like that to function every day. I have to do some spiritual shit to be functional in my life,

and that means prayer, meditation, calling some new guys, going through. I mean, I don't go to a lot of meetings with my home life and work. But but going to meetings being a part of is not that much. That's as much. And you know, if you feel like you're not a partner, you're probably not doing anything. Sorry. That's just the hard facts. I mean, if you don't feel a part of, come join us, be a part of pick up coffee cups, do whatever take, you know, clean the toilets that will humble you.

Border rises.

I love the shit I loved. I mean, I've been trying to do service work on a regional level and I just get I don't give it What I like is to put up chairs and greater putting up chairs. I like to do the, you know, the work in the trenches. I like to to to help newcomers. Adna was talking about how to handle awed. I, I mean, it's, it's the most important thing that we can do when the phone calls in a A

and somebody wants help, we need to be there. And it's so much fun to go out to help. And you guys, they are so much fun.

There's so much fun. I mean, there's nothing, you know, every time I have a sponsee coming over, just read the book when it's happening, it's like before it's two hours. My phone reminds me because I can't remember anything. You know, it's like, fuck, he's coming. I don't want, I know, I want to see, I want to watch Baywatch reruns.

Then, then, then, you know, at the moment the sponsee comes in, we read for now, he goes away. And I feel like,

I feel like, you know,

a star. It's the best feeling ever to sit down with the Bigfoot between two guys. It's just amazing

when I'm too high.

OK, so you gave me a note that I've been talking 27 minutes. I know how long I have.

OK, Sorry. I have to wear pepperoni. Sorry, sorry, sorry

if you don't know. I have been, I have been what we call in Iceland, they call it a mini algae complex.

Do we understand that conflicts. You know, I was 22 and then, you know, nothing big has happened, blah, blah, blah. If you suffer from that, if you suffer, maybe it wasn't so bad, blah, blah, blah, blah. What I did, what happened to me was I didn't get it until I've sat down with another guy. Go through the steps. You don't have to believe anything that the steps do. You don't believe the steps works. You don't have to believe the step works. It's like, it's like taking what you take when you get

the chlamydia, what you get when you get that. What do you call it? Pence Pen

penicillin. Thank you when you take that.

Hey, if you hadn't had chlamydia once, you haven't had an art six. That's

when you get this pill from the doctor. You usually take it from 2:50 pills a day, 3-10 days. OK. Do you have to believe in the pills work? No. Do we need to understand how that works? No. Do we want. Do we need to, to want to take them? No. As long as you do it and then you will get out, you know you will lose the chlamydia. It's the same with the steps. You don't have to. You don't have to believe them. You don't have to want to do it just.

30 seconds and the one thing when you're going to understand it, when you're going to believe it, is when you sit down with the new guy. Thank you.