The topic of "Possibilities & Promises" at the EURYPAA Convention in Stockholm, Sweden

OK, welcome everybody to this Possibilities and Promises session of Europa. My name is Yona and I'm an alcoholic from Stockholm.

This is the AP

Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope for each other that they may solve the common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism.

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Please welcome our first speaker, Wakefield.

I'm Wakefield. I'm a real alcoholic of your type of kind from Seattle, WA.

Can you hear me OK? I am really surprised that there's no copy of the Big Book up here.

And so I hope that no one's offended, but I'm going to read the 9th step promises from my I read them. I did this once in a meeting and somebody said, are you just showing off that you have a fancy phone? But I was just thinking, no, I'm just happy to be able to carry the Big Book with me wherever I go.

So let me just, well, let me ask first. It's kind of a workshop format. Does anybody know what the sentence is

in the big book just before the promises?

Exactly. I'll read it so everyone can hear it.

I think

that's God's people. We stand on our feet. We don't crawl before anyone.

I will read them in a second, but

in the US almost every meeting I've gone to in July has been about the 7th step. And I have a real problem with the seven step

because I have problems all the time. But

the 7th is the 7th step. It asked me to be willing, says I am now ready, that you should take away, that you should have all of me, good and bad and and then I have to give it up. But you know, and I can have my character defects removed only as I stand in the way of service to other people. I just want them God, you know, if they stand in the way of service to other people at 3:00, they might not be in the way to other people at 5:00. And there I'm back with my character defects in front of me.

And so eight and nine were really, really hard for me because I am not as someone who really gets along with other people.

You know, it's easier to drink than to be around other people. But the nice deaf promise to say if we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we'll be amazed before we are halfway through. We're going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past or wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity

and we will know peace no matter how far down the scale we have gone. We will see how our experience can help can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations

to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They're being fulfilled among us, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. It will always materialize if we work for them.

I am the kind of person that thought that the day that I got to a A because I have done the hard work of showing up that, you know, I should get all of the promises,

get all of the good things that they offered. And so when I decided to share today was the fact that they told me when I got here to go find a sponsor and they said, find a sponsor who has everything that you want and that's a person you need for a sponsor. So I'm a gay guy. I found this really cute sponsor who had a really nice car. He had a great job and a good boyfriend. He had everything that I wanted

and I thought that's what the promises of a A would give me if I had him for my sponsor.

Our relationship lasted a year and he came home from a cruise on a ship and said that he could no longer be my sponsor because he had wanted to drink the entire time that he was on the cruise. And he didn't feel he could do that and come back and face me because he'd made a commitment to me and to a A. And unfortunately, he went out the next week and Greg and, and in just a few months later, I attended his funeral.

What I, what I know today is that

what there was a lot of truth, what he said has helped helped me stay in this program because once you make a commitment to other people, you're, you start to get the promises, you start to work the steps. Now I have a sponsor, He has a sponsor. I sponsor five guys in the, in the program of alcohol. It's anonymous and I never have to ask them what step are they working

because they all sponsor somebody. That's one of my rules.

I won't sponsor you unless you sponsor other people. So I just asked him. I say, So what? What step is responsive working? Oh, she's on Step 3. She's been on step three forever. I think that, you know, and, and, and I, I say, So what are you getting out of it? Because I know that that's the stuff that they're working. So I asked all of my spousees about the 9th step and they all came back and said, you know, that's really crazy for you to ask you work this through it. You had us put down on paper

what we thought we wanted to say and then you took a red pin to it and you just crossed out wherever it was selfish

and and said this is not about, you know, you getting the other person to make amends. This is about you actually owning who you were and you're part in it. And I think sometimes that's really, really hard for us as Alcoholics because, you know, I'm AI was a kind of alcoholic. If you if you had the life I did, you would have drank like I did. You know, if you had the day that I did, you would have drank like I did. And what I know for me

is that

the things that that I read to you have started to come true. And sometimes I see them and sometimes I don't know, do I have lots of money? I have enough money. I have food. I have a, a home. I don't own it. I, I don't have a car. There are things that I think that I want, but the promises don't say you give the things that you think that you want. It tells you that that fear of economic insecurity,

you now, you know, I don't have any fear of economic insecurity even in today's world economy. Yeah. I just have a knowledge of of finally being able to move into action.

I thought I was going to retire. I know this is a young people's meeting,

but my sponsor tells me to always share the fact that when in the United States, we have this thing called Social Security, and they send you a letter every year

showing where your earnings have been and what they've put away for you in terms of savings. And from the time I got out of college until the time I stopped drinking, it was a downward slope. And since I've been sober, it's been a consistently upward slope. And

I thought I was going to retire at age 60. I'll be 58 next month, and the economy has said that I won't be able to retire. So now I'm having to think about

what, what, what is, what is my economic future. Do I have any fear of it? No, because I'm taken care of as long as I don't drink now, as long as I somehow or another, if I, if I work the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, I get to have the things that I need. Never, almost never the things that I want. I still want the cute boyfriend. I still want the car, and I still, I still want all of those things. But none of those things give you inner peace. I know

people that have lots of, lots of things, but people always say, Wakefield, you seem so content. I am absolutely and unequivocally content. And it's because I have worked the steps. I still work the steps. You know, if somebody would ask me for any advice on the ninth step, my advice would be you should be a meeting dependent alcoholic.

In other words, you know if what you used to do to always make sure you had a drink,

you should always know where your next meeting is. Now I will tell you, these fancy phones have little apps that you can get that will tell you where the next meeting is. But you know, with the Internet today and with phone numbers, you know we, we should always be connected to someone who can help us stay sober. We should always use our phones for that purpose. If you don't have at least 5 Alcoholics in your phone, you must be your first week in the program.

But, but I would encourage if you want the promises to come true for you to practice calling other Alcoholics and actually just call somebody. Don't wait until you need something. Call somebody and say, hi, this is a practice call and they'll say what? I don't need anything, but I'm practicing using my phone so that when I have the moments where I can't see the promises coming true, I can talk to another alcoholic

and it must easier to call him on that day and say

this is not a practice call, it's the real thing. Can you just hang out with me on the phone for a minute?

And so it's been a pleasure sharing and I'll turn it over to my colleague.

Hello. Thank you. I'm just going to say that we welcome our second speaker, Emma.

Hello, my name is Irma, I'm alcoholic from business Lithania.

They want to thank for this year. It was really

have on the mood of promises now in perspective in my life.

I know when I was thinking about my share,

it just was like one hour before I was thinking where is the key from my perspective and promises in my life and my sobriety. And

it's not good to say that this is it was my past till 22 while I was drinking and I didn't know that I'm alcoholic and then I became a A member. So when I so this is black and white but it helps me to understand where I am now.

I didn't know how to drink from my childhood. For my first drink I just got I got drunk from my first drink. So now when I'm in a program, I just realized that this is a genetic problem

and I wasn't happy all my life until I came to the program. I had a good moment. I was traveling, I had friends, I went to school, everything was good. But it was like, and what, what's more, what I can get more, I want more, where is the happiness? And I found alcohol for that reason. So I wasn't like fearful. I could speak with people. I couldn't

drink alone because I was sad and and whatever. And in the last year before coming to the program, I,

I don't know what happened just in the six months I lost everything.

It was in the last year of my bachelor,

I was writing pieces, I was working and like my future, like not to dream work, but it was okay. And I lost everything in six months because in the September I said I will show that guy who left me how I have to live and how I have, how I will build my life

and what happens. I just ended up with the gold shaped here,

shivering and drinking and smoking and full of tear and

negative thinking and it just was so bad that the only reason which I saw it was to kill myself. I was 22, I was finishing my university and all the perspective was all the life perspective was in the future. But I, I didn't see the meaning to that.

And the only thing what I was looking is like how to end that, how to end this pain which I was carrying for 22 years. And

yeah, this is where the step and I, I start to look for the help. I wouldn't have wouldn't find the EA probably, probably I wouldn't be alive today. And

the promises and perspective with the a problem program which I have as a young person, I have a perspective for the new life.

Now I'm two years old, but two years and three months and

everything's changed in these two years

I'm traveling. At the beginning of my sobriety, I thought, OK, I'm stuck in views for all men. I will never go abroad again. I was thinking I will never have fun in my sobriety because I get silver with all the people. I thought that I will never have

friends boyfriend,

I would never have a job because I lost, because I was drinking, because I'm alcoholic. Now I want to have the job. It's it sounds insane, but they have this thinking. I thought that this fear and in China

variety will be insanity will be all the time with me and like I I I just will be bad feeling person all my life.

And then I saw these people in the aid, which is like have were smiling and

felt relaxed and they have family work.

I just was thinking like maybe I can have this too. And this is was like a promise for me. If I will work the program, if I will do the steps, I can have my new life as a young person in me. I can rebuild my life from like cleaning this 22 years and like OK now I will learn how to clean the bath again.

Now I will learn how to do my back again. Now I will learn how to go

to to the bar again, not drinking. And I started to learn new things and

I'm just thankful for my sponsors who brought like I have a strong program program,

but it was a bit in different days, not like in the big book. But I think this is what I learned. This is this promise that I live one day and I am waiting for, for what life brings to me. And now I have a sponsor from USA and

she came to a as me 22 or 23 years old. And now she has a family and

and work career and

I'm redoing the steps together, like together with her. And I'm traveling here today. I'm here and probably I will visit some a a in different countries and probably go to study again. And this is for me a promise and perspective

and the most important, which was at the beginning,

I have peace with myself. This is one of the most important. It's not the work, it's not the job, it's not the boyfriend, it's not Tylenol with apartment, it's not the country. This is the peace with myself and that I started to accept myself who I am because I all the time thought you are better and you are better and you have more and I'm the worst.

And now I started to accept myself and

I know what I like. I know how I'm acting in some kind of situation so I can predict what can happen. And for me, this is like this acceptance of myself means a lot to the this inner peace and with the going to the people to to the people going to you and speaking with you.

Because before I was, and I'm still I'm, I have this fear of going to the people.

But

I know that would be OK because in these two years, nothing bad had happened. Just going up. And this is a promise, this is a perspective. And the other thing is that before I came to AI had this dream. I am really into the films. And I was thinking if I will get sober, I will work with films. Now I'm working with pills and,

and this is again the perspective, the promise

if I will keep coming back and work with the program, I will have what I should have.

And I don't know, it's just I can trust my higher power now what I couldn't do before and everything is not, not that I don't have it. It's like I see the changes in my life and this is like a promise for me

that's everything will be all right or everything will be as it should be

and I just have to live one day, do steps, call to a a members, do fellowship, do service and it's wonderful. So thank you that I want to Live Today,

all right.

Thank you so much. The meeting is now open for sharing. In order to give everyone just, we ask you to limit your share to three minutes. Please come up to the front to share who would like to begin.

Maybe they still have lots of questions about.

Have a question

so no one wants to share?

OK.

Hi, my name is Michael. I'm an alcoholic Copenhagen, Denmark and

so much for your story, both of you and sharing this. Very inspiring and very, very, very good to listen to.

One of the things that I noticed a lot way through was that you were talking about

the Bronx is coming through and you know, really, as far as I understood you not really noticing because I had that experience as well. I was, I was at some point I was like reading these promises. We also read them at all the meetings in Covenant and they usually get rid of at the end of the meeting. And I was sitting there one day and when does this happen? You know, when, when, when am I going to get all this? I've been through the steps and I'm doing the thing, walking the walk as far as I can and doing all this, but I'm not getting it. I don't really know what I'm not getting it. And somebody told me this. Well, there's nothing to get. You know

what you give. And

I started trying to give more

and eventually as I would notice them. But actually, yeah, my finances weren't all that great, but I wasn't afraid of them anymore. And yes, I did have a lot of these things that actually needed and just I wasn't afraid anymore. I wasn't, I was nervous about walking up in front of a crowd, for instance. I wasn't nervous about dancing sober, for instance, and doing these things that I was actually very nervous about before, even with 1520 days

and,

and just, I don't know, it's just these things. I mean, I'm not, I've only been sober now for, for, for 14 months and

before that I have nine months and then I relapse them. It's a whole other can't work. So it won't go into here. But so I'm very new in the program, but it really is, I'm unfortunate enough to have come into a Home group and covenant, which is it's a men's group and they're pretty goddamn hardcore, which is a good thing that they, they, we keep each other accountable. And I just let a guy throw a pin at me because I'm talking about my 4th step again. But it's only good, good, good period and 11:00.

So I've got a really good sponsor and I've got a really good

that helps me get going pretty quickly. So with that, you know, me getting pushed into doing the actual work and also getting the rewards. And I can only say I mean, if if, if it's this good as it is already now, I cannot wait to see what's in installed for me. So thank you so much.

Hi.

And my name is David.

Maybe I just did.

I was sitting on the floor and I needed to stand out.

But anyway,

it came to my mind that that it would be a good idea to share how I use promises with my sponsors.

We haven't done it

that long time, but the idea is that that we have promises

on a paper and I asked the questions like is it happening in your life or not? And we kind of put the check Marks and, and for them it has been very important thing. Of course, this is not my idea. Somebody did that to me and it felt really, really, really good. But anyway, we are doing it with them because it seems that even though their life is getting better and better and better, in my perspective,

they are not kind of noticing it.

But when we are doing this kind of

checklist sort of thing,

the change becomes obvious for them as well. And, and and we can continue doing these kind of on a regular basis to see how, how The thing is to how to sobriety is going and so on. My try to I'm from Finland and there are some words in English that are there is just not no muscles in my mouth for that. But anyway,

the sad thing

is that at the moment I don't have a sponsor who would do that sort of thing for me because I would desperately need some sort of,

I would need somebody to check on me how I'm doing on a regular basis because I'm the last person usually who know this. If I'm not doing OK. And, and, and now again, now I'm again in that sort of situation that I have been listening how you people share here and I'm like, shit,

I have noticed that that I haven't been doing the stuff that I'm supposed to be doing to make me feel good and make my life good and so on. And and then that has happened quite a lot when I come to convention show big meeting for IPS that I noticed that

how I'm doing.

And this way I left before 10:00 last night to go one place where where I'm staying at the beach by myself because I felt like everybody else. So is so fucking recovered. And I'm like this miserable thing. And and what happened there was this one guy. It was you. Yeah. You shared my story today. Yeah. Like really really good.

The exact right place for me today. Thanks.

Hi, my name is Joel. I'm an alcoholic. My Home group is Young People into Action Gothenburg and

arresting my Laura's aside real close to heart because

after a couple of months ago I were really trying to

I rest of my Lords a long time and I almost relapsed because of it.

I thought like I live in the town up north and

I've tried to see what I could get out of the group, what I could get instead of what I could give.

I started to resend the group. So we were sent all the people there and stopped doing the work, stop doing the actions that I need to do to being contacted God and being recovered

a couple months ago. ICE

sort of working the program again with us. New sponsor in Gothenburg

From the beginning. I feel like I have to do another fourth step,

have to do a newer inventory about all the things I've been doing,

like all the things I actually need to do was start doing a madness again. Starts working my nice step. Start doing, trying to incorporate this principle sort of AA into my life, Not only on meetings where I can save words, but outside I wouldn't do the actions

because I noticed intellectually, but I have to know in my heart as well. And one thing that my sponsors used to say to me is actually the magic word. Words are not the magic action because I know the words, but I have to do the actions as well. Otherwise I will relapse. I will lose contact with God and to his program and all this

amazing people like,

and that's nothing I don't, I don't want that. I'm gonna be a part of this. I'm gonna be a part of AA. Young people in AAI want to be all over the world meeting new friends and just having a gloss.

This new way of living is amazing. I love it and hopefully I'll be able to keep in touch with God. Work, do the work and you'll start and not just saying words, saying what I need to do. Say I need to do my 10 step. I need to do my 11 step during online. I need to do that eleven step on the morning. I need to give give this program away so I can keep myself. I actually have to do these things as well.

I can't just say it. I have to do that just as well,

so hopefully you'll not have to experience like wrestling or laurels because it's not worth it. Promise. I promise you it's not worth it yes you're sacred. I was so bad so I'll

Oh my God. So

I'm just glad to be here and hope you all haven't lost. I am so thank you so much.

Hi, my name is Jade and I'm an alcoholic.

Thank you for sharing some your stories.

It was last year.

I have been sober for like 5 1/2 year and I've been working in this program, living in this program. I have helped one and other people outside and I was educating myself and I was going on meeting almost every day and yeah praying to God so much every day, every morning and I was thinking what is wrong with me? I'm still going up and down in my mood. I'm depressed, I'm angry, I hate people, I'm self destruct

and everything this darkness.

And then after a few things happening to me, I realized in October last year that I haven't I haven't really turned myself into God like totally. I was still I was making my own will, like working and you know, all these kind of things. So I went into church and I just

on knees, on my knees and and they helped me there and I pray blah blah blah. And they took me like

three months more after that and I felt there was something happening to me because I, it was so hard things happening to me. So I, so I'm very happy that I realized that that thing. And after three months more, I, I felt there was something different happening and,

and then the light just like this. And there was something new in my sobriety and,

and all these things

and it's so hard for me to explain, but the difference before and after is so big that I cannot believe that this is true. Actually, I've been almost every day. I've been in a good mood and I have had a few hours, maybe some seconds, some minutes, but it's going like that and there is something happens. I I realized there was so much, much things just like that.

And I'm so I'm not,

I'm so like,

I'm so much more careful with myself now and with everything I do and blah, blah. I'm not afraid. That is not the thing because then it should be wrong again. But I think, but I, I enjoy life and I the difference now is that I want to live. I don't want to die. And now I know after and I was thinking thank you God for all these like 5 1/2 years

soon it will be sick. But anyway,

I I know I have done everything. I've listened to other people, even if some you don't listen, but I listen anyway. So and everything and, and that. So

I think I am the living proof also that it really works. And I have done and I'm still doing this and helping people and all these kind of things and, and I'm so happy. Really. I'm so happy that the light has come in. Thank you so much.

Hi, my name is Christian. I'm an alcoholic.

The promises, you know, I came in and out of the rooms for a long time and the promises were always there on the wall and they were always red and they never meant shit to me, you know, they were just a bunch of words, just like all the other slogans. And really as good as it got for me as I came in and out of the rooms was just like stopping drinking for a little while and

feeling better,

you know, get myself out of the jackpots that I was in. That brought me back into the rooms each time.

But it wasn't until, you know, I guess a few years ago when

it was all about sort of letting go, you know, and letting go is another slogan just didn't mean anything to me. But what happened to me is that I just, I just gave up. I gave up everything. And the big book talks about, you know, we have to, we have to let go of our old ideas.

And until you let go of all of them, you know, the results are nil. And there's, you know, there's stories to to to bear this out. And the big book, you know, it's like the the people that hold on to those, you know, notions, a couple of notions, because they've been holding on to them for so long. And that was me. I was holding on to him and I didn't like to side that I was going to let everything go. And then it went away. You know, that would have been good, but it didn't happen that way. It just, it was, it was critical mass of, of

absolute misery for me. And I shared this in the last meeting them, you know, I was in the fetal position and, and I'd never reached out for God because, you know, I just never needed God, you know, and, and I was, I was lost and everything that I had always tried and I tried this stuff since I was a child and I put up these walls since I was a child to protect myself. They just didn't work anymore as an adult. And in fact, it not only didn't work, they were, they were killing me,

you know, and rather than go back and drink, I sort of I sort of lived with myself for a while, long enough to realize that everything that I believed everything was wrong. And so there was a point, I don't know if it happened in a day and it didn't angels didn't come down from the sky or anything. But it, it was clearly a point in my life when I just I gave up the coast, you know, and I didn't know what was on the other side of that, but I gave up, man. And I did not have high hopes for what

going to happen, you know, at doing that. But, you know, I just, I was so sick of feeling the way I was feeling. And it was that point that I was open for the program and I was open for God and I was open to actually begin to understand the promises. And the promises started happening. You know, I don't know if I had this like point where I like looked at them and said, Oh yeah, you know, I can check that off and that off. But they came.

They came true in ways that I never thought, I never imagined

that they would happen, you know, and

think letting go. For me, it's, it's mostly about,

it's mostly bad. I spent a lot of time, I still do this, you know, I have to let go all the time. I spent a lot of time about thinking about what other people are thinking. I try to predict, you know, what's going to happen. I tried to, I have, I, I create scenarios in my head

that, you know, upset me or pissed me off so that I can raise my defenses and, and protect myself. And that's before I get out of the shower in the morning. And so I come down, I see somebody that I haven't even seen that day and I'm already pissed off at them because of this scenario I created.

That's the kind of shit that I do. That's it. That's the dangerous place, the dysfunctional playground that is my mind, you know, and let and go means that, you know, I don't, I don't predict, I don't forecast, I don't, I don't sit and, and think about things that I've done and try and change them. Make the scenario different that it's gone, it's done. You know, I don't create dialogues in my head that don't exist in reality.

I I do that, but

on the days that I get closest

to letting go, I let those go. And the first time that I was doing that, first time that I was like, actually really letting go, it felt like I was cheating because I had spent all my life doing this, protecting myself in ways, spending, expelling all this energy, you know, that for things that I just couldn't do anything about or didn't exist, I create them. And so, yeah, I was like cheating. I was like, what the hell, You know, I got all this like extra space in my head, you know, what do I do with that?

You know, But then I realized it wasn't cheating and I was opening the door and it's an inside job. You know, AA is an inside job, but ultimately it has to be about an outside job. It has to be about getting, getting, getting the fuck out of my head and out of myself and, and, and it has to be about other people. But that's, that was my journey and

and that was how the promises began to come true.

And again, it was in ways that, you know, I didn't even imagine, you know,

I was like, oh, that's what that meant, you know? So anyway, thank you.

The promises to me are what do you do?

The process are happening.

Small pieces for action Manage one day

Joseph, and beginning a rhythm. Yeah, yeah, maybe it works for you and it will never work for me.

But today I have OK, what I want is not really what I need.

So

what you do is really inspiring to me because the promises are working to you and I trust you guys

some. Somebody will become very close friends and

I trust you. So if I do what you do, the promises will happen for me too, not just

on the databases, but you know, speaking thing. And I see you

have you can manage a new relationship, you can have new work and you get a new apartment and you, you know, you get up in the morning and do what you do every day,

the promises working here. So I believe that

that's inspiring.

Thank you for a minute.

Thank you especially we have always the same time. So it's like

country. So anyways, when I first came here, I was willing. I was, I was going to this group of people like I have this new car and I have this new stuff and I'm so happy. And I was like, I was really annoyed about that because I was like, I'm never going to get the things. And now I know because I didn't sort of

didn't just start it. So

and while I have it in your apartment, so

believing in that, in knowing how to select five,

five days or so. And it's so strange. You know, it's just

and it's really it's really new, you know, and, and and a different at least there is really the fence. And in the beginning I couldn't really relate to them. I just have a sneaking and it's a danger sometimes like staking in, like always coming late, like 3:00 in the morning. So I feel like, you know, walking in. But but, and this is the thing, it's like I have to, I have to,

I have to force myself to believe that I'm actually a

work that you give to live there. Like, because

when I was drinking, I didn't think that a good thing happened to me. Was like, now I have to destroy it. I have to drink. I have to. Yeah. And you know, I'm really nervous. So I just have to stop talking about

your guys to be here too. So keeping this over and we're being sober together. So thank you.

That's all the time we got, we have.