The Overeaters Anonymous Big Country Intergroup's Principles and Promises Retreat in Lueders, TX

And the next thing that we have to look at is our fear.

Fear of losing what we have.

Fear of not getting what we want,

fear of other people's opinions, fear of not getting the financial support that I need, the fear of not getting the emotional support that I need. You know, all of this fear and this fear leads to resentments and resentments leads to fear. I mean, it's a vicious cycle. So I hope that summarizes a little

more about what the the 4th Step inventory is about, because it's a fact facing and a fact finding and a fact facing process,

OK? It's the truth is the truth is the truth about us. It's the facts and the truth. And we need to look at our part in the resentment because that is the only way to the freedom. That is the only way to freedom.

When we keep living thinking that others were wrong, we we're going to be in bondage. We're going to continue to be that victim. And if we live in that victim stance long enough, we will go back to the food.

We will.

Is there any questions about this?

Because what we're trying to do is we're trying to walk upon this Earth as a free human being.

OK, OK, Let I'm going to move on because we don't have a lot of time today. Let me see what where else I want to go with this. Then we have to have our fear. Inventory says, notice the word fear. It is rocketed alongside the difficulties. You know what, Mr. Brown, the way they describe it and they're telling us that fear was an evil and a corroding thread.

The fabric of our existence was shot through with fear. They used the word I'll, but I when they use the word it or whatever, I use what they're talking about here. In other words, it was an evil in corroding thread. I read it. Fear was an evil and a corroding thread. The fabric of my existence was shot through with fear,

OK? It said in it's set in motion trains of circumstances which brought us misfortune we felt that we didn't deserve,

but didn't he did not. We keep the ball rolling. See, that's where our part is. We keep that ball rolling and that's why they're telling us that fear ought to be classed with stealing because it causes more trouble.

So we review our fear thoroughly. We put them in on paper even though we had no resentment against them. We asked ourselves why we had them. Wasn't it because self-reliance failed us? self-reliance was good as far as it went, but it didn't go far enough. And some of us once had great self-confidence, but they didn't fully solve the fear problem or any other.

When it made us cocky, it was worse. And I take my fears through the same way that I take my my resentments to I take it, where was I? Where am I selfish in this fear? Where myself seeking in this fear where where am I dishonest

with this fear? Take it through the steps steps the same way as I do my resentment and then this is powerful, powerful paragraph. If you ever riddled riddled with fear, go to this page 67 When people you know when I sponsor people and they full of fear, I say read 68. I said 67 rooms for the tape, 68 OK, it says that

perhaps there is a better way. We think so far we are now on a different basis, the basis of trusting and relying upon God.

And that's where we have to get with all of this resentment and all of this fear. We have to Start learning to trust and rely upon God. And if we have difficulty with our concept of God, that's what we need to deal with.

And if we resent God, the idea of God or the God of our youth or whatever, then we need to inventory that also. OK, We trust infinite God rather than our finite self selves. We are in the world to play the role He assigns just to the extent that we do as we think He would have us and humbly rely on Him. Does He enable us to match calamity with serenity?

A calamity is something that causes great fear or pain, something that's causing us great pain or fear.

It says that we never apologize for anyone for depending upon our Creator. We can laugh at those who think spirituality the way of weakness. Paradoxically, it is the way of strength. The verdict of the ages is that faith means courage. All men of faith have courage,

spiritual principles here. Instead, we let Him demonstrate through us what He can do.

This is the fear prayer. We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be, not do, be at once. We commence to outgrow fear. And this is a promise. We have to grow into faith. We have to grow into the faith. That's the spiritual principle. And now it says

now about sex. We need to take our a romantic and sexual inventory inventory.

You know,

it's it's not all the no good things that we may have done, but it's how do we feel about all of this romance and sex that's been in our lives or non sex, But it it goes to the same thing on 69. There's a few areas that we have to review our conduct and it has to know where have we been selfish? In other words, what, what did we want out of that relationship? The dishonest. The dishonest You know what? What kind of

direct lie did we tell? What lawful mission did we do? You know, where have we a bit dishonest What? What was the lies that we told ourselves about it?

Or inconsiderate, you know, we, we have to inventory that in that way. Whom had we heard? Did we justifiably arouse jealousy or suspicion or bitterness? Where were we at fault? What should we have done instead? And we got all this down on paper. OK, It, it's a, it's a, it's a, a simple, it's a simple

inventory, inventory and it's also very powerful. It's very, very powerful. And once the more we we learn to do it, the the freer we are going to be. OK, I want to go to page now. That's all it. That's all it talks about.

Let me see. I want to. I want to read the word convince again at the bottom of 70

in this book, you read again and again that faith did for us what we could not do for ourselves. You know, it's not saying that God did did for us. It says that faith did it for us. It's the faith that we have that and what we're doing that that has done for us what we could not do for ourselves. And then hope. We hope that, you know, that's the spiritual principle of the second step. We hope that you're convinced. Remember that we had to be convinced of AB CS of the program.

We had to be convinced that any life run on self will could hardly be a success. The kept talking about being convinced. Well, now they're asking us if they hope that we're convinced now that God can remove whatever self will has blocked you all from him. See, now we're going. We're going to what? That God can do it. OK, but faith got us to this point

and then we have to trust and rely upon God to take us the rest of the way.

Umm, if you know that little word, 2 letters, if that is a condition word, and if we don't go beyond the the condition, we're not going to get what we need. If you have already made a decision, remember when we made a decision in that third step, Let me get my definition of use this, but this is this is what I understand that a decision is.

It's the ability to make up my mind and carry out my intentions.

Yeah, the ability to make up my mind and carry out my intentions. So

if I have if I have made-up my mind and I want to carry out my intentions and my and I have taken an inventory of my grocer handicaps, then I have made a good beginning. That being so, I have swallowed and digested some big chunks of truth about myself.

I'm still trying to transfer stuff from this book to to my newer book, and I've had it, I think three years. But there was a lot. One of the things

to digest something is to understand and absorb mentally and make it part of me. I need to digest these truths, these big chunks of truth about myself because

the truth is going to set me free. I read something that Sir Francis Bacon said. He was born in 1501 and he died in 1623. But he said that some books are to be tasted, others are to be swallowed, and some are to be chewed and digested. So this is what I have done to this book.

This is what I have done to this book. I tasted it at first.

I started swallowing the truths about it

and now I have Judy. You can tell how to this book off. I've had it. I had it recovered twice this like the third cover, but it doesn't stay open and it's so marked up. And I love my big my big print because I can write any more than it lays flat. But I have digested. I have digested the information in this book. And as a result of digesting what's in this book, I have been able to digest the truth about myself.

But

handicap is something that puts a person at a disadvantage or hindrance. You know, I don't want to be at a disadvantage in my life. I want to, I want to be free. I don't want to be handicapped. OK, now let's turn to page 72, beginning with into action. And remember, there are seven steps in this this chapter,

because I'm supposed to be having a personality change, a character, a character change, personality change

sufficient to bring about recovery. That's what the spiritual experience is about

and into action is action is a process of doing something. Action it it's a set of it's a set of actions in a special order. It is. That's what these steps are except for 10:11 and 12:00. But the first non steps is a set of of actions in order. OK.

Oh, it says that having made our personal inventory, what shall we do about it? Because we have been trying to get a new attitude,

we have been trying to get a new relationship with our Creator and we have been trying to discover the obstacles in our path. Remember, we are on a spiritual path and hard work said rarely have we seen a person failed who is thoroughly fallen our path. OK, so I I knew that I wanted to begin to thoroughly follow the path of recovery.

We have admitted certain defects. We have acetone ascertain in a rough way where the trouble is. You see, our inventory is rough,

OK, and we have we have put our finger on the weak items in our personal stories. Now these are about to be cast out. The sponsor helps us smooth this out

because it's rough and we don't really understand everything. But when we go talk to that other person that understands the prop this process, they're going to help us smooth it out. OK and it but it tells us that this requires action on our part, which when which when completed, will mean that we have admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our defects. And this brings us to the fifth step. Notice they

the 5th step written here. Remember the 1st 2 steps are not written in the book, but from the 3rd to the the 12th is all written in italics. OK, so that's what that's what the interaction is with the 5th step. So I had already read the promises

yesterday and they're telling us, you know, is our work solid so far as our staff work solid so far by this time? Or have we tried to skimp on the cement put in the foundation and remember that my foundation needs to be deep enough and strong enough to withhold life and withhold the stresses of life?

OK, Now 76,

only one paragraph talks about step 6 and it says we then look at step six. OK. And that's why the A 12 and 12 at that time in my recovery was so beneficial to me because the big book gave me precise, precise instructions of how to do these steps. But the AA12 and 12 gate it deepen and broaden it deepen and broaden the the work that I needed to do. And so step 6

in the AA12 and 12 is was so helpful to me. And you know what it said on the first line?

It says this is the step that separates the men from the boys. And this doesn't matter mean man, woman. This means, I believe it means from the childish behavior to the adult behavior, OK,

Boys are youth, men are grown, girls are youth, women are grown. OK,

we you know they they said that he goes on to explain that any person capable of enough willingness and honestly to try repeatedly Step 6 on all his faults

without any reservations whatever has indeed come a long way spiritual Lee and is therefore entitled to be called a man who is sincerely trying to grow in the image and likeness of his Creator.

So for me, I'm entitled to be called a woman, a woman of worth who is sincerely trying to grow in the image and likeness of my Creator.

God created me and I, I want to grow in His image and likeness. But there is only one paragraph in the big book. But there's powerful, powerful sentences that we need to pay attention to. It says that we have emphasized willingness as being indispensable.

What is willingness? The key. Willingness is the key that opens the door. OK, there's a question here. Says are we now ready to let God remove from us all things which we have admitted are objectionable? Another question. He now, can he now take them all, Everyone. I mean, look at the the dash in between there. That's a lot that's going to go on in that dash. You know, I've heard somebody look at tombstones. They have

born in a dash and the then you die. What all happened in that dash, you know and that that's the same thing here. You know that dash

Now this is the prayer, the six step prayer. If we still cling to something we will not let go. We ask God to help us be willing and remember what it said in the third step in the this a 12 and 12. That self will can slam it shut,

but it can always be open once we pick up the key of willingness. But this, this willingness is absolutely necessary. It's absolutely necessary for us to move on,

OK,

But to be willing is to be prepared in my mind, my attitude, in my manner. I have to be prepared in my mind. I have to be prepared in my attitude and I have to be prepared in my manner

of being entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. Everyone, everyone. And this is a process. It's not an overnight matter. It must continue for our lifetime. OK, now

the next is the 7th step, prayer. Also only one paragraph. This is the precise directions that the big Book gave us.

The AA12 and 1212 broadened and deepened the meaning of that. And then we have our own Overeaters Anonymous 12:00 and 12:00 that helps us understand it more. People who cannot identify with alcohol, a lot of people are mad when they read about alcohol because they live with alcoholic people or or whatever, or they may be in denial that they're alcoholic themselves, you know, and then that triggers that that inside of them. But

I didn't have a problem with it

and I don't have a problem with it today. But that's why I think that people can identify with the Overeaters Anonymous 12:00 and 12:00, because it uses the word food and compulsive eat, eating and overeating and stuff like that. So whatever works for you, what they say, whatever floats your boat, you know, whatever can get you well, whatever can get you free, whatever can get you to build that spiritual or through which you can walk through freedom and not have to eat compulsively. That's the bottom line. That's

purpose is to abstain from compulsive overeating and a compulsive food behaviors and to carry the message to other compulsive overeaters. I'm just sharing my experience, my strength and hope after almost 32 years of recovery. And as I said, when I first came into OA, OA was only seven months old in my town of Houma. We didn't know what we were doing, but we kept trying, kept trying and kept being willing. We didn't just try, we were willing. We were willing to to try to learn to.

What this was all about. But this, this is the prayer, the seven step prayer. I would like for us all to say it together.

It says, let's get in a prayerful mind.

My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defective character

which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength as I go out from here to do your bidding. Amen. Have you ever heard, saw the word Amen in the book?

No, a man is not have to Step 3.

That means so be it. A man is only after the 7th step in the book. That means that from from Step 3 until now, that's the whole prayer.

That is the whole prayer. All that work,

then it says we have been completed. Step 7.

Italicize.

OK.

Would anybody like to share?

If not, we'll take a little break.

OK, let's read groups because there's a lot, a lot, a lot of territory to cover. But I, I know I'm going to only be able to color another hour or so.

I let's regroup with the serenity prayer. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference for the tape. This is we're still on Sunday morning. It's 1010.

Umm, it's March the 6th is a 2010. We've had a a a great retreat here in Looters, Texas. I got it. I didn't even have the same motors.

They say if you keep repeating something over and over, but you're gonna finally learn it. Well, so anyway,

it's been a real pleasure for me to be here and to to share with y'all enthusiasm and and the joy. You know, I want, I want to talk a little bit about joy. I have it on my card. So we're not going to go in the book. But the the Big Book, on page 15, it says the joy of living we really have, even under pressure and difficulties.

And in Page 128 in the big Book, it says joy is our release. Joy is our release,

and on 164 it talks about that joy of helping others, the joy of helping others. A joy means a feeling of satisfaction and happiness coming from experiencing something good. And that's why I feel so much joy about this weekend, because I think that we've experienced something good here

this weekend.

Joy implies intense delight and happiness often in expressing it, expressing itself in rejoicing. And you know, we can rejoice today and tomorrow and the hereafter because we have found this solution for this devastating disease that that we suffer from.

I

joy. Joy is

contrast to happiness.

Contrast to happiness stands joy.

Joy runs deeper and stronger.

Joy is quiet, confident assurance of God's love

and work in our lives

that He will be there no matter what. No matter what, he'll be there.

Happiness depends on happenings, but joy depends on my relationship with God.

In another book that I read a lot, it says that whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think, think about such things.

Because true peace, true joy is not found in positive thinking,

in absence of conflict are in good feelings. It comes from knowing God is in control,

and that's what this book teaches us. It teaches us that, you know, God is in control. I want to go back in, in the big book to page 62

at the bottom of the page

where it says that this is the how and why of the first of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn't work. Next we decided, remember about decisions. Now that's ability to make up my mind and to carry out my intentions. OK. We decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our director.

In other words,

the director runs the show and the actor listens for direction because it tells us in the book that we're like an actor trying to run the whole show. OK, so we have to give up our acting, our acting career, and listen to the director. That's what he's telling us. Your God was going to be our director.

A director runs the show and the actor listens for our directions. OK, the book says he is the principal

and we are his agents. An agent represents who the principle of the employer would have them be. I am AI, am AI am an agent of God.

I am the agent of God.

It goes on to say that he is the Father and we are his children. The father child relationship, A child trust their father can provide what they're incapable of doing on their own.

You know that that's the way a child depends on a parent. Just because I didn't have the experience of being able to depend on my earthly father, it doesn't mean that I haven't learned to depend on my heavenly Father. And that's, that's what this program has taught me and given me. And you know, for that I'm, I'm grateful. So, you know, on this page it says, am I ready to make the decision that hereafter I will trust that God will provide what I need?

I need to learn to trust and rely upon God. And I do I have. And at times when I falter, then I have to address that and seek, dig deep, dig deep inside of myself about you know what, what's the problem here? What's wrong with you, Janice? You know

what? I know that God, God will continue to give me opportunities to tell others about OA. He will. And with that opportunity, he he is going to provide me the, the ability,

the courage and the power to do that. And I know, I know that because

I know that I'm God's workmanship. I know that I'm a work of art and his masterpiece because I'm I'm, I'm his child.

And you know, I'm grateful for that because the path is spiritual and the path begins by putting the food down. Got to put the food down and find a way to live with the food down.

And if I have, you know, ideas of picking up the food again, that I need to look into that. I need to see where that that's not the way of life I want to live. It's, it's not a spiritual way of life. It's I've been, I'm freed from that hopeless state of mind and body and and I want to continue to live, to live in that peace, you know, in that peace that passes all understanding.

So on page 87 and 88

in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous,

because these these three concepts of God, that God is going to be the director, he's going to be the principal, and he's going to be our father. These three aspects of the relationship with God in the third step now become a way of life that becomes a way of life

that the Father that I will trust God to provide what I need, that God will direct my life, and that I will represent what God would have me be. See, it brings all of that together by the time we get to 87 and 80. Let's see here 124

it's you know, it's the phone awakening upon awakening and at night,

OK,

I'm gonna go to 86 right now. When we retire at night, you know, a lot of people question why did they put when we retire at night first? Why didn't they put in awake? And it doesn't matter, you know, if you do it at morning or do it at night, it doesn't matter. They say that we need we need to quit nitpicking and we need to quit learning what what came first, the chicken or the egg. I mean, you know, we never going to be able to figure that out. But it tells me that when I retire at night that I need to constructively review our day, that that

is not destructive, is constructive, that we need to constructively review our day. And there are four, four areas of our life that we need to look at the resentment, the selfish, the dishonest

are afraid. You know, we need to keep looking at that. And with our 11th step. So after prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understand stood him praying only for the knowledge of his will

power to carry it out. So you know whatever whatever situation comes along in my life is just like knowledge of God's will involve to carry it out. When I call my sponsor, she'll say, Janice, the knowledge of God's will and the power to carry it out. You know my sponsor lives in. Let me see where she lives now she's moved

in Pennsylvania. She lives State College, PA is where she's living. She's originally from Jacksonville, FL and we she's been in the program nine months less than I am have and

sponsoring me for over five years. And she is from Jacksonville, but they moved to Arizona and I had the wonderful opportunity to visit her twice while she lived in Arizona. She lived there a little over a year, but my husband and I took a vacation there about a year and a half ago and we got to go to the Grand Canyon. And

so you know that that was a wonderful, wonderful experience. But now she's living in State College, PA. I never heard of that place. And remember that big snowstorm came through there. State College. Wow, dude, I never heard of State College in my life. And all of a sudden it's got World News, You know, that big snowstorm that came through there. But anyway,

she constantly reminds me of about that. But, you know, these are questions that we we need to ask

ourselves at night when we constructively review our day. You know, do we owe an apology? Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once? You know that that's that dishonest, that live omission, you know, that could fall into that, where we kind of loving toward all.

I know sometimes I'm not kind and loving to my husband,

you know, and I have to correct that and and it it really aggravates me when I talk to my sponsor about that.

Do you owe on him and a man?

No. Yes, you know,

it says what could we have done better? Well, I can bit my lip with better. I could have not said what I really wanted to say.

Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time? Yeah. You know, 'cause I want my way. I want him to do what I want him to do, you know, But that that's not loving and kind and I know it.

Were we thinking about we, what we could do for others? The other day,

right after we left church, he just got fired up about something. I mean, twice before we even got to the restaurant where we were going to go eat, you know, for damn, you know

what's wrong with him, you know? And so I was like wanting to pout, you know, But the grouch, you know, and the rainstorm, that's not for me. But anyway, when we got out of the car, I thought, I am not holding this in you

because you know, we usually walk cold and acid. I'm not only to see it, but I did. I grabbed his hand and you know, we walked into there because he flares up and he's over it. Not me, not me, but that that's was loving and con. That's what I could do. You know,

I felt he was wrong, but that's not my problem. When he's wrong, you know, I have to. I have to

do better. I have to do better in the situation because I mean, I could have rent my whole Sunday afternoon, you know, and, and it's not worth it. It's not worth it to ruin that.

Or what are we thinking about what we could do for others or what we could pack it through the stream of life. You know, that's where I want to be. I want to be in that stream of life.

I don't want the big book talks about that stream of misery on page 163. I don't want to be in that stream of misery anymore. I want to be into that stream of life.

But then it goes on to say that we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse, remorse. You know that when we resent ourselves, we are in remorse, OK. Our morbid reflection. I I, I can drift into morbid reflection really, really quick,

and I I know that I recognize it when that happens, for that would diminish our usefulness to others.

After making our review, we ask God's forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken.

Oh, that's at night. And then this is on awakening. And listen, if you haven't done your 4th step or you're not that far into the program, you do this.

Do this upon awakening every morning and do do work. Work on your 10th step. If you haven't completed your 4th step, it's going to keep you from having to make more amends,

Mom, Yeah, it's going to keep you from having to do do more harm and, and making more amends. But I mean, you know, start doing this even if you're new in the program or you don't understand the program,

start doing this.

It says on awakening, let us think about the 24 hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking.

Erectile thinking, not all feelings,

especially asking that it be divorced from look at the first thing we have to look at in the morning.

What

pity? Self pity. That must mean that that self pity is going to be with us a long time because it's the first thing that they're asking us to look at in the morning to ask God to divorce us from that. And this time the word divorce is wonderful.

I never liked the word divorce, but in this sense I I take it and accept it.

We need to

ask to be divorced from dishonest.

Those direct lies we tell, Those lies of omission that we live with, Those

laws that we tell ourselves

we need to quit telling ourselves laws about ourselves. That's not true because the direct lies we tell ourselves cause us to drift into remorse.

And here, here in in the 11th step, they're asking us to be careful not to drift into that worry, that remorse or that morbid reflection. We need to be careful. It says careful, be careful.

OK then

the self seeking motives. Remember, self seeking is the things we do to try to get our own way,

the manipulation that we do.

OK, so this book is teaching me that we fall into those eras often if we have to start looking at them every day, every morning. You know, it says that under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance. For after all, God gave us brains to use our thought. Life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking, not our feelings, our thinking is cleared of wrong motives.

In other words, when my thinking is clear to self pity. When my thinking is clear of dishonest or self seeking motives.

OK.

Oh then then there's more, more instructions about the day. This is something that needs to go on all day because I think all day. OK, it says in thinking about our day. OK, the next paragraph we may face indecisions. OK, remember what decision means that.

Ability to make up our mind and carry out our intentions.

OK, if I'm indecisive about in my mind what I want to do, I need to do, then I need to face that. I need to face that and make decisions about my day. It says that we may not be able to determine which course to take. So here we ask God for inspiration and intuitive thought or a decision. I need to let God help me decide.

It says that we relax,

we take it easy,

we don't struggle

and we're often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while.

What usually be the what usually what you what used to be the haunt or the occasional occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind. OK, Remember that we have a physical, mental and spiritual illness. Well, our mind, if we are inspired gradually

our mind is going to heal, Our mind is going to heal and we are going to be able to

think clearly. One of the hardest things about going on a trip, especially for a week or even 3 days, it's still hard, is that I have a hard time making a decision about the close up on a wear.

And I, I tell people I don't know how cute I want to be a week from today, you know, and so I'm sponsoring this girl and she says, Janice, are you packed yet? And I said, well, I still haven't decided how cute I want to be, you know? And I said, that's the hardest part. And

so when I'm telling her, I said, well, I'm almost know how cute I want to be. You know, she knows that means I'm almost packed or something. So it's a real, it's a real. She's going to be listening to these tapes. So that's one of the reasons why I'm saying it. She lives in Shreveport, LA, and she wants to buy the tape. She's so disappointed because she wanted to hear me this weekend

and because she does. She did that when I did the Florida State convention in a less February a year, and she listened by phone the whole time I spoke, and she wanted to do that this time. But the phone, the cell phone didn't work in here. She said that had just sucked.

OK, Simba, that's when your girlfriend. OK, So anyway,

it she's just really, really a blessing to sponsor,

OK.

But it goes on to tell us that, you know, being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact, remember in Step 2 is when we made that first conscious relationship with relation with God. Well, all through the steps, more and more we're going to be getting this conscious contact. But, you know, it tells us that it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times, you know, and we might pay for this presumption and all sorts of absurd actions,

ideas. But nevertheless, we find that our thinking, our thinking will, as time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration because we come to rely upon that, you know. And then it talks about our period of meditation that we need to be, we need to pray that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems and that we ask especially, this is all prayer. We ask especially

freedom from self will and we are careful to make no request for ourselves only. But we can ask for ourselves, however, if others will be helped. But we are we're we are careful never to pray for our own selfish end. We because many of us have wasted a lot of time doing this and it doesn't work. And we can see why this doesn't work. And then it tells us that,

you know, that we can go to the Church of our choice or whatever, and that we need to see that, be quick to see that religious people are right and

we could make use of what they offer. We can make use of what the church or whatever we believe in can offer. And then it goes on to tell us that as we go through the day, we need to pause when agitated or doubtful and ask for the right thought or action. I will in our life, our thinking in our lives. Action of our life is our actions

and I need to to know that I can trust God will provide what I need.

I need to continue to go on through life knowing that God is going to provide what I need. And when I get afraid of that, then I have to deal with my the fear about it. And it tells me that I have to constantly remind myself that I am no longer running the show. No longer

that God is the director, this, this is where this brings this from this third step decision. You know that God is the director, that God will direct my life and humbly sing to myself many times each day.

Be done. God is the principle. I'm the actor. The actors got up. Follow the director. I will represent what God would have me be, not what He would have me do, what he would have me be. And then I would say, Thy will be done. We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry,

self pity or foolish decisions. We become much more efficient.

It means without waste of time or energy. I need to learn how to conserve my energy. I need to be able to have the strongest energy that I can have. I mean, I,

I got to have energy to ride my bike 4 miles a day. You know, I have to, I have to have energy to keep up with this 77 year old man I'm married to. I need to be able to enjoy my grandkids. I have a little 5 year old granddaughter.

She like she wants me to, she thinks I'm her playmate. I go visit them and she wants me to go play with her, you know, I want to visit with my son, you know, and she wants me to go play with her. But you know, she's not going to always want me to play with her. I know that because I have 5 other grandkids, you know. So I want to, I want to spend as much time with her as she can. And she has this little dog, a little Chihuahua.

I can't stand dogs

this. I like this little dog,

his name, her name I always will call him. Her name is Biscuit. OK? And that little dog is crazy about me

and she comes in, you don't want me to pick her up. And she gets all right up on me and everything, and I just stroke her and everything. And my son says, yeah, God has given her a rub down. So that's why she likes Ghani so much, you know? But I'm having a lot of fun with that, that little dog and Lily, because that little dog runs 90 miles an hour and Lily's right behind him with that hair, that blonde hair flying, you know, and running after that little dog. But it's just such a pleasure.

Another thing that's a pleasure about that is for Hurricane Goose off. They told us we needed to evacuate because Allah Houma was going to be underwater. You know, I mean that that's only the second time that we've been living down there in 50 something years that we have evacuated. Well, we didn't go far. We went to but we went, we were getting away from the water possible. So we went to my brother's house in Gonzales, where I was raised, and

they had eight little Chihuahua puppies,

days old,

and my youngest son and his family, the three children were with him. And that Sean, who is 12 now, but he was 10 or 11 at that time. He would not shut up about one of those dogs. And my brother was selling them for $125. And she and my son kept saying no, no, 'cause you're never going to attend to him. You're not going to attend to him. He was right. You're not going to attend to him. You're not going to take care of it. But finally