The Overeaters Anonymous Big Country Intergroup's Principles and Promises Retreat in Lueders, TX

So anyway, let me see where was I about that not shrinking home. We're gonna go back to page 58.

It it, it says that some of us balked at these steps, you know, that we tried to avoid, we tried to resist. We tried to, to. Let's see what that word is.

Hesitate so little. I can say we tried to hesitate. You know, we tried to balk it at these steps, but you know, they begging us to to be fearless and thorough from the very start, because if we we tried to hold on to our old ideas, it's going to be Neil until we let go. Absolutely. Because they they reminding us that food, that food, alcohol, we're dealing with alcohol, we're dealing with food.

It's cunning, it's baffling, and it's powerful. And without helping, it's too much.

But you know, they say there is one who has all power. May you find him now.

Half measures avail does nothing. We stood at the turning point and this is the prayer we asked his protection and care with complete abandoned. It's a prayer and then it goes into all of the steps. OK.

I have one question. OK. You have measured the half stepping? Yeah, OK,

half assed

half ass.

That might just be a Cajun term, I'm not sure.

They're telling me for the tape it's not. They do it in looters Texas too.

Oh goodness, OK,

you know, they're telling us that if we're convinced of these ABC's of the program, you know the like the first step is that we were alcoholic and could not manage our life that A that's the first step. B that probably no human power could relieve our compulsion. Second step and see that God could and would if he were were sought. Second step you know they telling if he were sought it it doesn't mean

that we need to find him. We only need to seek him. You know, we need to seek him and

when we're convinced, we have to be convinced of these two things. We have to be convinced of these AB CS and when we are is in italics, it says we were at step three. I would like to share that nowhere in this, the big book of our post anonymous is they say this is step one or this is Step 2. It's not in there. But from now on each step is going to say this is where Step 3 is. This is where Step 4 is and all

way so this is the first time they telling us that we were at step three is when we were convinced of these ABC's OK and that is where we have decided to turn our will, which is what our lives. I know it's our thinking, our thinking and our life, which is our actions over to God as we understood Him.

Just what do we mean by that? And just what we do, we do.

And then it goes on to say that the first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self will can hardly be a success. That's the second thing that we need to be convinced of. We need to be convinced, you know, that of the ABC's. And then we need to be convinced that any life run on self wheel can hardly be a success. That's not the last time that they're going to say that we need to be convinced about something.

OK, then it starts explaining. It starts explaining the self seeking behaviors that we do.

It starts displaying the dysfunctional mental state that we're in. It starts

talking about how self-centered and egocentric we are, that we like an actor, you know,

and the South Center, the way they're talking about the self-centered in here. It doesn't mean that I think too much of myself or too little of myself, but it means I think of myself too often.

We fit. Sell, sell, sell. You know, it's all about me.

It's about me. We think of ourselves too often. Then on page 62 it tells us again that, you know, selfishness and self centeredness that we think is the root of all troubles. Driven by 100 forms of fear, self delusion, self seeking, self pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate.

Sometimes they hurt us seemingly without provocation,

but when bared we find that it's sometime in the past we have made decisions based on self, which latest placed us in a position to be heard. It's the root. Selfishness and self sinning is the root Is the taproot. The taproot. Okay, so it goes on to say that

saw troubles we think are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so.

Above everything, What does that mean? Everything.

Does anybody not understand what everything means?

Above everything, we Alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must be rid of it. We must be rid of this root.

We must or it kills us. God makes that possible and there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without his aid. And you know, it goes on to say that we had moral and physiological conventions been lower, but we couldn't redo it. We can't reduce this self centeredness on our own power and we can't wish it or will it away. This is the how and the why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God.

It didn't work. It didn't work. And that next we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our director.

He is the principal,

we are his agent, he is the father, and we are his children. Most good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we pass to freedom. This paragraph is all about our instructions for step three. Don't think I didn't have a lot of trouble with this.

If God was my father and I was his child,

I had a lot, a lot of trouble with this stuff. I really did. But I got through it. I got through it because I realized that's my heavenly Father. It wasn't my earthly father that they're talking about here. So it's these, these three things about God that

I'll let him direct my life,

be the principle of my life, and he can be the father of my life.

I didn't know what a keystone was.

I really didn't understand what a keystone was. And so I went to the dictionary, I went to the encyclopedia, I went, you know, trying to learn more about what the keystone was. And what I learned was, is, is the middle wedge shaped stone at the top of an arch that locks all the other stones, stones together holding the arch stones in place.

That's what that's where the keystone is. Well, that seems strange to me that the third step is that,

because with all of this here, what's all of this here? You know, it's it's the part, the keystone is the part with which all the remaining steps depend. All of these other steps, the 4th, 5th, 6th and 7th, 8th and 9th,

all of that since an 11, all of that rest upon this key up here. And if it's not cut just right, it's not going to hit,

it's not going to fit. And so I had to keep chiseling and chiseling and setting my stones and setting my stones, but always my bedrock and my cornerstone was in place. But it was all this other stuff that I had to do in order to, to be able to have that keystone fit just right.

So I mean, it's, I love the concept because they talk about the stones, you know, and after we do our fifth step, they tell us, are your stones properly in place? You know, have you tried to make martyr without saying? They tell us that after we do our our fifth step. So these are a bunch of promises. On page 63,

something like 11 of them, I think it says when we sincerely took such a position, the position we're talking about is that God's going to direct my life. God is going to be my principle, He's going to be my father, and I'm going to be the child. That's the position that I took it. It tells me that all sorts of remarkable things followed the promise.

I had a new employer being all powerful. That was a promise.

He provided what I needed if I kept close to him and performed his work well. Another promise

established on such a footing, I became less and less interested in myself, my little plans and designs. Another promise. More and more I became interested in seeing what I could contribute to life. Another promise as I felt new power flow in. A promise as I enjoyed Peace of Mind. A promise as I discovered that I could face life successfully. A promise. I became conscious

of His presence,

a promise and I began to lose my fear of today, tomorrow and the hereafter. Another promise

I was reborn, a promise I was reborn spiritually. There's no way that we can go back in the moon and come back out. That's just not going to happen. But we are reborn spiritually is what this is teaching me. When it then it said that after after these things happen. We were now at step three and many of us said to our maker as we understood him.

Has everybody in here taken their third step?

You haven't OK

anybody else? You haven't OK anybody else.

Are you willing to take it right now?

Huh. I don't know enough about what's going on. I mean, I'm listening. I'm here. I don't even attend a group. I have attended one in the past

and that's neither here nor there, so that's why. OK, Well, we can listen and we can take the third step right now if you would like to. If you don't want to, that's OK too.

OK, But we can all repeat this aloud, this third step right now. And if you haven't taken it deeply into your heart, maybe at this time you might can, because it tells us that we need to take this step with an understanding person.

OK, so we can read it.

Oh God, Ioffer myself to be, to build with me and do with me as thou will. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will.

Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help. Of Thy power, Thy love, and Thy way of life may I do Thy will always. Okay, That's the third step. Prayer, okay. To bear witness to something is to bring forth, to bring forward.

And that's what we're we're about. We're about bearing witness to to God's power,

God's love, and God's way of life. And it goes on to say we thought well before taking this step, making sure we were ready, that we could at last abandoned ourselves early to Him. I respect you and admire you for saying what you did.

OK,

then it tells us at the bottom of the next paragraph that you know, this is only a beginning.

Step three is only a beginning, though it honestly and humbly made an effect. Sometimes a very great one was felt at once. And that's a promise. And then it next it says next we launched out on our course of vigorous action.

OK, the first step of which is a personal house cleaning, which is cleaning is the cleaning of my soul.

My soul is inside of me. I'm a temple,

it lives in there and so it's cleaning out my soul, it's cleaning out my mind, it's cleaning me up, it says, which many of us have never attempted. We've never, many of us have never attempted this personal house bikini. It says though our decision was a vital and a crucial step, It was vital and crucial

that we take this, this, this decision. And remember,

a decision is the ability to make up my mind and carry out my intentions.

It's the ability to make up my mind and carry out my intentions.

This, this making up my mind and carry out my attention. This decision, it was vital and it was crucial,

but it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to be faced and be rid of the things in myself which have been blocking me. What to be rid of? That's the second time that it says that it has to be rid of. Therefore

it says our food was but a symptom. So we had to get down to the causes and the condition.

I have to get down to my wrong thinking and myself will. My wrong thinking and myself will is the cause and the conditions are that I learned how to trust God and clean house. That's the condition. And then it goes on to say, therefore we started upon a personal inventory and this was Step 4.

Notice it's italicized and it's telling us that's where the 4th step starts. And it says that a business, and this is a personal business that we're talking about here, file sales, they talking about a commercial business, but I have to do my personal business. A business which takes no regular inventory usually goes broke. Taking a commercial inventory is a fact finding and a fact facing process.

It is an effort to discover the truth about the stock and trade.

One object is to disclose damage or unsealable goods. To do what? To get rid of them promptly and without regret. If the owner of the business is to be successful, he cannot fool himself about values. And if anybody is in business, they they understand that I'm not, but I understand him.

And then he goes on to say that

we did exactly the same thing with our lives. We took stock honestly. First we searched out the flaws in our makeup which caused our failure. Being convinced. There's the word again. Being convinced that self manifested in various, various ways. What was what had defeated us and we considered its common manifestation. What is the common manifestation? Resentment.

Resentment is the number one offender

because from this resentment stems all forms of spiritual disease. For we had not been only mentally and physically I'll, we had been spiritually sick. When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically, and this is a promise.

I didn't understand that at first because I lost weight first.

I thought, you know, the physical is straight. I was wrong. And I pondered over this sentence a lot. I pondered it a lot. And finally, I began to, to truly understand through the years, I, I truly understand that it's the spiritual disease that all of this stems from us, the spiritual disease, and that

I needed to straighten out mentally

as well as physical play. And as a result, when my spiritual malady is overcome and I still fall into spiritual malady, but I have the steps that that help me come out of that. OK. And it goes on to say that in dealing with resentments, we set them on paper.

We have to write about this now with the computer and everything. People do that. But I believe the handwritten word is very powerful.

I, I really do. I feel like our emotions come out through our arm and, and through our body and everything. And I think it's very, very powerful. But of course they didn't have computers way back in 1939.

But what what we need to do is they're telling us that we need to list all the people

that we resent.

Then we need to list all the institutions that we resent and all the principles that we resent. You see right here in dealing with resentments, we set it in on paper. We listed people, institutions or principals.

My point of view is that I need to deal with the people first.

I make a list of all the people, and I've been told by a lot of AAS and all, and I think the way the book described is that we need to start listing the people. Don't worry about the cause and don't worry about affairs, OK? Because one name just triggers another. I've been also taught that an institution is more than one person. Like as if you're in laws, that's an institution

are a principle that, you know, that's different. OK, so we we have to ask ourselves why, why are we angry at these people? Why are we angry at this institution? Why are we angry at this principle? And the book teaches us that there's seven areas of self that are affected, OK. And

the seven things that are affected, we, we got to list what causes this OK, in the second column. And then in the third, the third column,

it, we have to see how that, how, what that effects in US. And I had a hard time really understanding what effect was and affect was, you know, they're so closely related. But what what FX means? It's to stir or influence or change my emotions.

OK. And the cause is the effect effect. OK, But then the seven things that are in this effects a column are not bad things. They're not bad things.

There are things that I have to get back. I need to get back myself esteem. You know,

I'm always I've always given the power of these things that are in this effects of column to the people to the people or the institution that's in the first column instead of God,

y'all got that? OK, so

when this caused the cause, what it caused, it affects, it affects my self esteem,

it could affect my pocketbook. It might not affect everything, but it could affect all seven. OK, the pocketbook, the ambition, our personal relations,

including sex.

They were hurt or threatened. So we were sore, We were burned up on our grudge list. We sat opposite each name. Injuries. Was it our self esteem, our security, our ambitions, our personal relations or sex relations? And on the bottom here, they do also list pride and they list fear on each side of these. Most of these are caused by fear.

OK, as I said that this doesn't make us a bad person, it just makes us sick. It makes us eat compulsively.

I

so on there would they be living a dead? Excuse me?

Well, you can still resent them in the grave.

Yeah, you can. They can be dead. Or you might want them dead. You want to kill them?

Yeah,

okay,

The self esteem. The self esteem is how we want to see ourselves. How we want to see ourselves

OK. How I value myself. How I feel about myself.

If if I'm not feeling good about myself, then I need to know why. I need to know why

and my personal relationships. I want to have a mutual caring or at least a respectful relationship with people.

And does this resentment affect my personal relationship with this these people that are in my life or do I want I want them to be in my life?

Is I'm not feeling good about them. They're not feeling good about me.

And then all of this affects myself esteem,

my personal, personal security, you know, how safe do I feel with myself in the world? You know, do I feel safe? Do I feel safe in this relationship?

Do I feel safe in this place? Do I feel safe?

I,

I ambition, you know,

I would like to be on good terms with everybody, to have everybody like me to to be loved, to love, to be loved.

Of course, if this has not happened, this affects my ambitions,

you know, and my pocketbook, you know, does does the resentment affect the way I make money of the world? Will I be able to do what I want to do? How the how the resentment effects my ability to work or

to my potential? To my full potential?

The pocketbook. Does that person owe you money? Have they stole from you? Do you owe them money? Have you stole from them? Just about every resentment affects all pocketbook

the sex relations.

How do you feel about yourself as a sexual being

your personal sexuality

need to there's a whole section on on our sex inventory in the big book romance and sex. You know, how is our behavior around all of that? And our pride is how do I think others value me?

You know, we really, really just need to look at all of that about ourselves.

It's real simple. I've been taught that in that cause section you just need to write 7 to 10 words. It's not a novel. It's not a novel. If you need to write a novel, then write it somewhere else. You know, write it on another page. It it doesn't need to be in this inventory,

you can take another page and write all you need to write or want to write about it. OK,

then after that

we need to write about our fears as the fear inventory. We do the same thing. We do the same thing. How is this fear affecting us? The seven areas of self, how is that affecting us?

And there there's prayer. There's fear prayer all through here. When we're afraid, we just read to. We need to read and reread a page 68 in how it works.

You know that we need to review our fears thoroughly. We put them on paper even though we have had no resentment in connection with them. We asked ourselves why we had them. Wasn't it because self-reliance failed us? self-reliance was good as far as it went, but it didn't go far enough. Some of us once had great self-confidence, but it didn't fool fully solve the fear problem or any other. When it made us cocky, it was worse.

Perhaps there is a better way. We think so,

for we are now on a different basis, the basis of trusting and relying upon God.

We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves. We are in the world to play the role He assigns. Just to the extent that we do as we think He would have us, and humbly rely on Him. Does He enable us to match calamity with serenity? We never apologize to anyone for depending upon our Creator.

We can laugh at those who think spirituality the way of weakness. Paradoxically, it is the way of strength. The verdict of the ages is that faith means courage to to spiritual principles. Right there in that sentence, faith and courage. All men of faith have courage. They trust their God. They never apologize for God. Instead, we let Him demonstrate through us what He can do. Here is the fear prayer. We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention

to what He would have us be. At once we commenced to outgrow fear. A promise. This is how we grow into faith. We grow into faith this away. Remember when we studied? He says. We have to learn faith. We have to learn these things.

I know I'm I'm shooting a lot at y'all. I know some people told me they don't brain overload that, that that's why I've been taking breaks mostly for my voice. But also I know that it's hard to absorb all of this. It's a lot. But you know, I've been invited to do this and I feel and it's going to be on tape and so y'all can buy the tapes and maybe go back of it over it more slowly and and absorb it more.

But I mean, it's just like I want to give it all to you, you know, just give it all to you. It's a 25 to four. We're going to close it for. I'd like to hear from y'all a little bit

what y'all getting out of this, what this mean what what this is meaning to you Because you know, it's very it's very difficult to empty myself and not get refilled

and we are being taped. What can they hear it from there? Yes, they'll be able to hear. OK,

we're getting a crash course, so we need a whole week or a month or something to do this.

Well, I'm with you. And I found that in doing the 4th step, I was able, I listed all the people that I'm thinking and I was able to work through that. And then just a year ago, I realized I had a big list of resentments just against God. And so I had to do a fourth step inventory just on God. And that was so important. And,

you know, I didn't realize I had all of these until I started writing them down.

But so anyway, that's just something that I added to what the Big Book said, that it was really important.

Oh, I just said, I just feel like this has been a crash course, that we need more time, like a week or more to do this. Well, that's why Barbara was so wanting to take this.

You know, I hope the tape came out good and and that's all y'all can be able to listen to it. Anybody else? OK. I'm Theresa, hospital reader. Hi Theresa.

For me, I've I've been in

oh, a now almost do be two years of summer, but I didn't really have the tools to start or even know where to start with the steps or even how to approach them. I mean, I purchased the workbook, but I've never opened it type thing. And I, I think from what I've learned today, I feel more empowered now to open that workbook and to jump in and to start with the step study.

I mean, it's like someone were just a given, but I still wanted to do something more than just say, yeah, I've done that. Yeah, I've done that. So this kind of gives me a little bit of where to read and where I can spend a little bit of time on each step, starting with one before I move to the next. So I feel that I really

put my all into it. So I'm excited about that and getting the tools and, and and having kind of a jumping off point. So I look forward to seeing where it'll lead

my neighbor near complex over eighty to five. I just want to say I've always been scared of the fourth step because it was so complicated to me. And just sit here and listen. You talk. I realize now it is. And this is the first time right after we came over by 10 people. I have resentment before

and so I think, you know, when I get get up to my step, I'm going to write the calls down and everything, but

and and I don't know, I'm, I'm just the type of person I've always believed this word and I've always seen people that it worked for and I've never been doubtful that this doesn't work, you know, and sometimes I think my problem is I just feel like I've never had that faithful sponsor and what guide me through this, You know, all the sponsors. I had a sick, I was having babies or something, you know, it's just was crazy for me. So I was just listening to you and and just I want, you know, I dig

got a lot out of this and I'm just glad that I came today. Thank you. Thank you.

My name is Mayor if impossible

and

perfectly just said right before we said talk

you need to take in and not to give out and that's what I'm doing here. I have last one season. I wanted many people who he is and I just want to fill up and this is building me up. It's it's helping me to get filled so I can go out there and give out more because that's what I want to do. God has transformed my life to this program and I just want to give it to other people because I don't have to be trapped anymore in this body. You know, I'm happy with my body.

I'm content. I've worked through anger's, resentments, everything, I mean. And if I have one now, I look for it right away with my husband, say, or whoever.

And that's the way I live my life today. So I'm here to fill up so I can give out because I can get depleted unless I continue to fill up. And it's, you know, I'm really

confused. In my program, I'm very high maintenance. I have to get up at 10. I get up most mornings at 4, some mornings at 10 minutes or four because there's certain things that I do, quiet time and everything. And then I have to be ready for all my sponsor calls. And yes, they have to call me on time because my next call is coming in. If they call me 10 minutes late, they only get 5 minutes. I have to go and then at 6:30 I'm done.

Get ready for work, you know, and that's the way I have to have an allotment of just disciplined.

They have to do ABC to like so I can get XYZ

and I'm really grateful. I'm really grateful for every all that you put into this. I really appreciate. Thank you so much.

Well, I just, my name is Nola. I'm a compulsive operator.

I couldn't

come in a more, more perfect time for me. I'm coming out of a long relapse. I was in denial about my relapse for many years. For several years, about four or five years, I would just say I was slipping, and I did. I came in and I had a wonderful first experience with a great sponsor and did all of my questions and all of my writing and I stayed completely off of the sugars and the flowers and the starches and I lost 35 lbs. And I just looked terrific.

I felt wonderful and I began to sleep,

just live like once or twice a year. But then, then the next year it was more and then the next year it was more. And during this time that I began slipping out. I was doing service. I was an intergroup Rep 1st and then I was a regional secretary. And, and after, after I got after I got out of the region secretary position, I began to have some issues with my family and some sicknesses and my family and then some deaths. And I don't know

such you're such an inspiration to me that you have this the depths. And, you know, I know how the service strengthens you. It really did strengthen me too. And I know that your marriage must really strengthen you. I have never had that. I was became a widow at an early age and I raised a child alone. And then my parents both died, one of the 80s and one in the early 90s. And, you know, it's just

kind of my family of origin kind of went away and slipped away from me, too. And so this came, this really became an important part of my family. And then I live in a kind of a remote area where that began to split away.

Wanda has been a real source of strength to me because she's been stable and you and sheared the two. I know that became asked him and really stayed estimate and one lady in San Angelo that has 30 years of abstinence too. And it's just such an inspiration to see the people like you that it's stuck with. And I just want to say that out of all of this slump and my sisters have tried to encourage me,

my eyes popped up on on March 2nd. It was so funny. I got to my second school that day and there was a lady dressed up like Doctor Seuss,

and it was Doctor Seuss's birthday that day and she had on the hat and had the whiskers drawn on everything about how neat. And I don't know, my eyes popped open that day in my bed and there was something different. My eyes popped open and I thought, wow, my abstinence is back. It just, it just felt that way. It felt like a miracle. And I had had a bad cold. I felt better. I knew my head was clear and I got up that day and I felt like I had some energy for the first time in a long time.

And I made it through that day with no sugar and no bread. And I felt really good about myself that day. And when I went to sleep that night, I felt good about myself. I haven't had any bread or sugar since Tuesday. And then I get to come here and say something you said today and read out of the book about the friendliness, you know, the, the fellowship and the friendliness and the understanding. And I guess that's why I just keep coming back. It said, I know what this is, what this means to me.

And I know that my abstinence can come back. You know, I can't start all over with a brand new beginning, but I can start over tonight, today and make a brand new end. And it's all sinking in and it's just, it couldn't have happened

at a more perfect time for me. And I know that it's probably that way for just everybody that's sitting there. Thank you.

Well, my name is Barbara and I'm compulsive about food. I am totally encouraged because I,

I haven't been studying the big book, you know, I make it out and read it, but it's not like you're bringing it to life. So I'm, I'm just really impressed that you study it. Like I want to study other books, you know, So I'm just really encouraged. I need to, I need to go back to the basics and just keep the basics in my forefront of my mind.

Thank you. So thank you. I've had a compulsive over this has been really good for me because it's encouraged me to get back into the big book, you know, because I've been sober 11 years in a A and

and The thing is, is that I'm, you know, from all these, these workshops to, you know, today I've been able to relate the alcoholism and the compulsive overheating like I had haven't before. And I have diabetes and I have to get this.

I have to get it, you know, I mean, or I will die. So, you know, it's a life and death. And I think a lot of Alcoholics feel the same way. So, you know, I'm in the right place. Thanks.

I've really enjoyed the the being here and and listen to you speak.

I

wasn't for several years. I was in recovery and felt a lot better and

for some reason I started letting that go until I've been out of program for years. And recently I've started back and very recently, I say it's been several months. Anyway, I I just haven't had the wilderness. I'm just haven't had the willingness to read to talk to a sponsor but do anything

and but somebody was talking to me the other day about

legend Dog have the control and

you know,

somewhere along the line I I know I don't really trust God. I I do. I send you work a lot in my life, but I, I don't fully trust him and I've had several disappointments in my life and a relationships and stuff and I and friends and I thought,

I mean, I know I lost my trust there, but

I kept telling myself, if I just do this, if I just do that, if I just, you know, I can get myself to stop eating

this work or I'll, you know, won't have that in my house, whatever. And, and this person that was talking to me said, you're still trying to do it yourself. You're still in some ways trying to do it yourself, you know,

so you kept saying, you know, lay it down, just lay it down. Lay your life down, you know, and, and that was really important to me to hear that

because I know if I had just worked this step better, if I'd have just worked that step better, if I'd have just been more honest or thorough or blah, blah, blah. You know, but that resignation in resigning my life is

it's not easy to do.

Thank you.

My name is Renee and hi Renee. I started to

I I've been to away meetings. Last year I started

and

quit.

I had problems with sponsors, a sponsor too, and I was brand new and probably 90% of the problem was, and I'm not, I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to me. Probably 90% of the problem with my problem, not hers. I

I came because I knew Claire went to come. OK. And we can see the step here

and that's not saying anything at all about that. OK, I need to be here.

Compulsive over eating to me was when I realized that

I don't know how this program works because I started out in in

and something a little bit different. I started out and then Oi have program and I really didn't get the essence of what was going on. When when we're going through the big book, I can see where I went through. This is my book and I can see where I went through it, but a lot of yellow and was trying to study it. I'm an educator by profession and I'm done by choice.

Thank God. Thank God.

I I said something at lunch. This is made a lot

of things come clear to me. More clear.

There's been things that I've understood. There's been a whole lot of things that I understood I didn't understand. And what I mean is I didn't even know. I didn't understand it because I didn't even know they were there to understand. So

this seems like an awful lot of work.

And the alternative is my cardiologist has told me three years in a row, and I didn't even go back in January because he was going to take the blood and he was going to tell me one more time. I'm going to put you on drugs.

And I mean, he's threatened the last two years and I just go what? Give me give me six more months. And you know, it's it's kind of a matter of I read something in one of the one of the questions are you you're an over you're you're compulsive either whatever it is questions we check out. I've been contemplating Black man

and it's paid for by my insurance. I can do it, it's not a big deal, but I don't want to.

So I think Claire's going to see me and

a shot and one of y'all may be getting a phone call or two or three y'all. I don't know how sponsorship works. I mean, I wasn't in it long enough to figure that out, but

one of your ladies maybe getting another another person. I really do appreciate it. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I'm Janine Compulsive over there. I love the little Nuggets of truth that you can take home with you and remember 2 years from now

and having gone. I just finished the third step and one of the things that are now realized, it was such a problem where you mentioned it right here today. The difference between willing and trying. And

yeah.

I'm Barbara and I'm because of the Raiders,

I've heard a another weekend of of many of the same things. But we gave you a tough topic, not one that you have often done workshops on. And part of what I am

seeing

is the dedication of somebody

with almost 32 years of abstinence and, and 30 years of the program and how hard you work for us, for this program. And that tells me that I need to be more dedicated to it and I need to put more into it. And I know that when I put more into it, I get more out of it. So it's not anything in particular that you said though, though you have called back to mine several things at the other workshop,

but it is simply the

the amount of commitment that I need to to move towards

8.

I just want to ask a question. Basically, when you write these,

the people you resemble for it is that is that when you make amends to them? No, no, no. But you may use. You may use those names to make an amends, but at this time it's not about amends.