Pollock Pines, CA

The 11th step, we were talking yesterday, someone with me and he just was talking to me about do we, what books do we use other than the approved books? And the 11th step says that we go to our priest or rabbis and ministers and we get books and Bill used to call us a spiritual kindergarten.

Know what it's all about and what she had better get his brand of spirituality where there is yet time. When Father takes this fact, the family may react unfavorably. They may be jealous of a God who has stolen Dads affection. That's not impossible.

While grateful that he's drinking no more, they may not like the idea that God has accomplished the miracle which they had failed, faced an eagle. They think they got power

there, often forget Father has was beyond human aid,

and be very careful that the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous is human aid.

He doesn't mind.

They may not see why their love and devotion did not straighten him out. That is not so spiritual after all, they say, if he means to write his past wrongs, why all this concern for everyone in the world but his family? Altruistic behavior, always in the in the lines of service.

If I'm going to make a mistake, let me make it on the God side.

Can't go wrong if I make it on the God's side.

If you're upset with people. And we were talking to scouts, 21 years sobering. We're working some inventory and we're we're talking to each other and we got to an 8 step and we're deciding how to make amends to people. And she starts to balk. And I said you're in spiritual battle.

And she understood that you're in spiritual battle.

What about his thought that God will take care of them? They suspect Father as a little bombing

is not so unbalanced as they think. Many of us have experienced adulation. We have indulged in spiritual intoxication like a gaunt prospector belt drawn in over the last ounce of food. Our pick struck gold. We went from bottom to top.

Joy at our release from the lifetime of frustration knew no bounds. Father Theosia struck something better than gold for a time. He may try to hug the new treasure to himself. He may not see it once that he is barely scratched. A limitless load.

My God is limitless.

There is nothing

that he can't do.

I hope yours is insane.

We will pay dividends only if he's if he minds it for the rest of his life. In a system giving away the entire product,

that is called a paradox.

Going to give it away for a lot. I'm going to get it and give it away. That doesn't make sense in this world, right? It just doesn't make sense.

If the family cooperates, Dad will soon see that he is suffering from a distortion of values. He will perceive that his spiritual growth is lopsided, that for the average man like himself, a spiritual life which does not include his family obligations may not be so perfect after all.

If the family will appreciate that Dad's current behavior is but a phase of his development, all will be well in the midst of an understanding and sympathetic family.

These extravagancies is what the word means. Very, very. I can say that the false seats killing me of Daddy's

spiritual MC will quickly disappear. Why don't you go smoke cigarettes? See how much I'm considered this morning?

All right. Are we ready to go?

Let's see what we can do now.

The opposite may happen. Should the family condemn and criticize Dad may feel that for years his drinking is placed him on the wrong side of every argument.

That's right, but that that that now he's become a superior

a superior person with God on his side and that that's a you know, one of the things that happens to people who have not had spiritual experiences. And because self can overcome self, we it's hard for us to believe that somebody else has you know what I'm saying. It's really hard to to see that if the family persist in the criticism, his policy may take a great greater hold on on Father.

Instead of treating the family as he should, he may retreat further into himself

and feel he has spiritual justification for doing so. When Mother Teresa

had an encounter with God on a train while she was on a sabbatical, and she was teaching geography to a bunch of rich kids in India, and God gave her a different plan. And she goes to her person who's in charge of her, which is supposed to be trying to help her not get too far out of the Cadillac sponsored in the way. How to have you not get 2 egotistical

and she tells him, well he's never had that experience, he has no idea,

scares the heck of it. So he runs to his superior and tells him about it. And the guy says, I knew that woman when she was

well, they call them in the my head's not right today.

Oh, a novice

novice. None. And they

he said she couldn't chew gum and walk at the same time.

And you're telling me to let her go on her own into the streets of Calcutta where they'll kill you for nothing? You got to be kidding

and they made her wait a year and she came back with the same deal and they turned her loose. Look what happened to her. See what? Eventually they realized God was there for her. God was running her show. She is a if you've never read her story, she is a example that it didn't make any difference who said what. They made fun of her first.

Before is all over, she had her own apartment at the Vatican.

This is a girl that didn't want anything, didn't have anything, didn't need anything.

There's some great miracle stories in her life. But it was fantastic. I read a lot of books other than a SO. Though the family does not fully agree with dad's spiritual activities, they should let him have his head. Even if he displays a certain amount of neglect and irresponsibility towards the family, it is well to let him go as far as he likes in helping other Alcoholics

during those first days of convalescence. They will do more to ensure his sobriety than anything else.

Hello. Some of his manifestations are alarming and disagreeable. We think Dad will be on firmer foundation than the man who is placing business or professional success ahead of spiritual development. He will be less likely to drink again and anything is preferable to that. Those of us who have spent much time in the world of the Spirit make believe have eventually seen the childlessness of it.

This dream world has been replaced by a greater sense of purpose, accomplished by a growing consciousness of the power of God in our lives. God isn't experiencing. The more you're in there doing it,

the more experience you get and you will have growth. If they ask you to chair a meeting today and you're a year sober and five years from now you're saying the same stuff, You haven't grown. You need to get busy growing. We used to say you either grow here or you go here and one or the other. You know, we have come to believe that He would like us to keep our head in the clouds with Him and let our feet ought to be firmly planted on the earth.

That is where our fellow travelers are. You bet you that's what our fellow travelers are, and that is where our work must be done.

Fantastic.

Almost like a vision for you.

These are the realities for us. We have found nothing incompatible between the powerful spiritual experience and the life of sane and happy usefulness.

One more suggestion. Whether the family has spiritual convictions or not, it may do well to examine the principles for which the alcoholic member is trying to live. They can hardly fail to approve these similar principles,

though the head of the house still failed so Martin practicing them. We don't have perfection here.

We travel eroded progress, not perfection. Once in a while we get perfect people in a a. I've seen them, I've heard them.

They have all kinds of rules and regulations.

It's an interesting place.

Nothing will help the man who is off on a spiritual tangent so much as the wife who adopted the same spiritual program, making better practical use of it to find common ground.

My experience with people who let's say they're married, husband gets sober, wife follows them in, gets a good out on non sponsor, works the steps or works the steps somewhere and have some sort of spiritual experience yourself. They on on such tight ground their their marriage only increases and gets better. Those that don't it's hard. They don't always break down, but they it's harder. It's hard on them.

There will be other profound changes in the household. Liquor incapacitated father for so many years that mother became head of the house.

He met these responsibilities gallantly, by force of circumstance. That's normal.

She was often obliged to treat father as a sick or wayward child. Even when he wanted to assert himself, he could not, for drinking placed him constantly in the wrong. Mother made all the plans and gave all the directions. When sober, father usually obeyed. Thus mother, through no fault of her own, became accustomed to wearing the family trousers.

Father, coming suddenly to life again, often begins to assert himself. He grabs his autonomy back.

This means trouble unless the family watches for these tendencies and each other and comes to a friendly agreement about them. Drinking isolated most homes from the outside world. Father may have laid aside for years all normal activities, clubs, civics duties, sports. When he renews interest in such things, a feeling of jealousy may arise. The family may feel they hold a mortgage on Dad so big that no equity should be left for outsiders. Instead of developing a new channel of activities,

mother and children demand that he stay home and make up the deficiencies.

In my early childhood, I did not allow you to come to my house. My people were too embarrassing. They were untrustworthy. I could not trust them. No telling what they'd be doing. And I'm, I'm talking about no telling what they'd be doing.

And my social instinct is on the line.

So when I interviewed Doctor Bob Smith, Junior, I'll be a name dropper today,

I asked him about that. He was 17 when his dad got soaked,

he said. My dad was not a hostile or mean man. He was just drunk. And my mother was always in in some sort of, I hate to use the word depression, but I guess so or just being depressed about what's going on in the house. And we didn't want anybody to come to our house.

I said, what was it like after you people recovered and they begin to bring drunks to your house? We thought it was the greatest thing that ever happened. They loved it. And the house became happy, George, and it was just beautiful. At the very beginning, the couple ought to be frankly faced the fact that each of us will have to yield here and there if the family is going to play an effective part in on the new life.

Part of successful living is to understand that all people fall short of the glory of God. In other words, they're defective. And if you're looking for that ideal person in your life that has no defects, good luck.

I'm afraid to be disappointed. You know, father will necessarily spend much time with you get disappointed. They want to correct the defect and make them perfect. And boy, that's oh, man. But this activity should be

should be balanced. New acquaintances who know nothing of alcoholism might be made and thoughtfully considerate given their needs. The problem of the community might engage, engage in attention.

We talk about giving knees. We talk about it in Chapter 7 a little bit. In those days,

Sister mother,

there's a Angel alcoholic hidden memory, another of Alcoholics Anonymous.

She had her her treatment program going five beds and two cots. And she would call Anne and use her like a social worker. And she said go check on the families and see how they're doing. And then Ann would call them in in if they needed screens put on doors, if they needed windows put in, if they needed food, whatever they needed, they got. And so the fan it could be sustained while the father was was still developing

the problem. The community may engage in tension. Though the family has no religious connection, they may still wish to make contact with with or take membership in their religious body. And Doctor Bobby family, through the encouragement of the Oxford Group, joined the Presbyterian Church. They threw him out when he started working with grunts in the house, he cluttered up the neighborhood. So he went down and joined the Episcopal Church. And Reverend Hunts, the man who had sent Bill Wilson, gave him the list of people to call, ended up burying him.

Alcoholics who have derided religious people will be helpful by such contact. Being possessed of a spiritual experience, the alcoholic will find he has much in common with these people, though he may differ with them on many matters.

If he does not argue about religion, he will make new friends and is sure to find new avenues of uselessness and pleasure. He and his family can be a bright spot in such a congregation. He may bring New Hope and new encouragement to many. A priest minister, a rabbi

who was given his all to minister to our troubled world. We intended the foregoing as a helpful suggestion only so far as we are concerned, there is nothing obligatory about it. As non denominational people we cannot make up others minds for them. Each individual to consult his own conscience.

I joined the Mormon church many years ago and they find you even when you're hiding and

but I appreciate them today and they come to see me and the guy that comes to see me is a Bishop.

I don't know where you class that just he's like the preacher of the church.

And anyway, he comes to my house once a month and they do that to see if the family needs assistance or if your how your health is or can they be of service or and usually bring you some kind of a religious message when it comes to see me.

I said to him, well, now that you've been relieved of your bishopship, you'll probably move to a higher position and you won't be a guy going around the ward, you know, making your calls on people. He said, Oh no, He said, this is absolutely the most exciting house in the ward, even though you don't come to church. He said, there's more action here. It's gone than I know of any place I go. And he just got, we just sit and talk about his mother was an alcoholic and we just

alcohol loses. What are you guys doing today? Where are you now? You know what's happening to so and so? You know, he don't know him, but he, he knows him just from talking about him. He's a great guy. Can I do anything to him? You know, the fact is they have a, a program, a 12 step program today. That's kind of interesting. Not doing too good, but they're trying.

So we're concerned. It says we have been speaking to you of Syria. Sometimes tragic things. We've been dealing with alcohol

in its worst aspects. We own a globe lot. If newcomers can see no joy of funding our existence, they want they they wouldn't want it. We absolutely assist upon enjoying life. You betcha. I love this weekend. I don't know about you, but I have a great time here. I laugh and I love to hear you laugh and it's just so much fun. We try not to enjoy it in criticism of the state of the nation's cynicism of the state of the nation, nor do we carry the world's troubles on our shoulders.

I

used to

be the greatest debater in the world.

I have gone from that to I don't even want to look at their troubles of the world of the world. I'd rather be in a good a a meeting. When we see a man sinking into the mire that is alcoholism, step one, we give him first aid. We say detoxes

and place him in what we have at his disposal. Two through 12.

For His sake, we do not. We do recount and almost relive the horrors of our past. Just for His. Just only for you.

They're about a memory to me.

For those of us who have tried to shoulder the entire burden, the troubles of others find will soon be overcome by them.

We shorten that up. Sometimes we say your job is not to carry, is to help the drunk not carry the mess. You know,

I got no power. I got It's the hardest thing in the world to remember that I've got no power except what God gives me.

So we think cheerfulness and laughter makes makes for usefulness outside. It is sometimes shocked when we burst into merriment over a seemingly tragic experience out of the past. But why shouldn't we laugh? We have recovered.

We have given the power to help what others Just want to make sure you're following along here. You've been given the power to help others.

You need to be doing that.

Everyone knows that those in bad health and those who seldom play do not laugh much.

I've never been happier in my life.

I'm very fortunate I have limited health problems for Sweetie. She's been through it,

I just take a few pills for high blood pressure and little vitamin little gout medicine. All old alpha hearts have gout, or should have if they drank enough,

so let each family play together separately as much as their circumstances warrant. We're sure God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free.

So you got to ask yourself that question. If I'm not happy, joyous and free, why not?

And whose fault is it?

It's certainly not God's. He wants me to be happy. George and truth.

We cannot subscribe to the belief that this life is a veil of tears, though once it was just that for many of us. Okies have some of the finest drinking music in the world.

We really do

our claim to fame, you know. But it is clear that we had made our own misery. That's hard to accept. I've made. I'm blaming you

cause of my problem. If only you would do this or do that.

But I create my own misery.

It's a personal journey. God didn't do it.

I've just got so many crosses in the church. They call it crosses the bear, you know, like Christ making the trip, you know? I just got so many crosses laid on me, you know,

so I mean, you know what, Give them to God, get rid of them, you know, avoid them. The deliberate manufacturer of misery. All you hear them in meetings.

Oh God, you hear Him. But if trouble comes, cheerfully capitalize on an opportunity to demonstrate His omnipotence, the all powerful God.

How about health? A body badly burned by alcohol does not often recover overnight, nor does do twisted thinking and depression vanishing and twinkling.

A sick mind cannot overcome a sick mind.

We are convinced that a spiritual mode of living is a most powerful and health restorative. We who have recovered from serious drinking are miracles of mental health, but we have seen remarkable transportations in our bodies. Hardly one of our crowd now shows any mark of his dissipation.

I have a friend named Doctor Mark.

He's 36 years a doctor. He's 23 years sober in a

He totally is committed and believes in Alcoholics Anonymous. He says. There's nothing else like it, he said. I also have a degree in addictionology is worthless,

but I got one. He said to me once, Don, would you like to make a lot of money? And I said, oh, I don't know if money's a good thing for me. And he said, well, I'll tell you how we can do it. I said, how's that? He said, I can be the doctor and we'll open up a treatment program.

And you, he's telling me this, we're going somewhere to speak. I'm, he's got me in tears laughing so hard. And he said, and we're going to say to them, to the people, our advertisement will be, we're going to treat you. We're going to teach you to drink successfully in 28 days for $25,000,

he said. Don to be lined up around the block

and when they and when they fail, we punish them because he didn't do it. We told him to do because they can't, but they don't know that

and we'll charge them $50,000 for the second run through.

And I'm like you, I'm just laughing. All I've ever been going to Redwood City, I'm, I'm almost off the road driving the car. I just thought, man, oh man,

but we have seen remarkable transfermission in the body. Hardly one of our crowd. We read that. But this does not mean that we disregard human health measures. God has an abundant supply this world with fine doctors, psychologists and practitioners of various kinds. In 1954, I was a medic in the service

from 54 to 57. I got an honorable discharge. I don't know how I was a drunk from the beginning.

Sweetie had a heart operation where they put a valve in her and corrected. Had to roto-rooter her. That's what I call it. Out a couple of veins in 54, she had died.

And today my doctor Mark says to me, if there's any problems, call me. I'll be glad to help you out. You're a wonderful man, he said. Don, he said today that operation is like a mechanic. Open the hood on the car. That's all they do all day long. And he said they're good at it.

Do not hesitate to take your health problems to such a person. Most of them give freely of themselves and that their fellows may enjoy sound minds and bodies. Try to remember that through God has wrought miracles among us. We would never belittle a good doctor or psychiatrist. We have a tendency I do not want you to understand. I believe you need to go to therapy if you think you need to go. I'm not an anti anything,

I'm only here to help.

Their services are often indispensable in treating a newcomer and in following his case afterwards. One of the many doctors who has an opportunity, this is Harry Tebow he's talking about of reading this book in a manuscript form told us that the use of sweets was often helpful, of course, dependent upon a doctor's advice. We thought all Alcoholics should constantly have chocolate available where it's quick energy value at times of fatigue.

He added that occasionally in the night, a big craving of Rose which would be satisfied with candy.

Well, there you go, get you 50 lbs of candy. Keep it

and then you can join Overeater sooner or later, like me, I need to go do that. Many of us have noticed the tendency to eat sweets, have found this practice beneficial. But word about sex relations Alcoholics are so sexually alcohol is so sexually stimulating to some men that they had have overcome that they have overindulged. Watch out, Don

couples are occasionally dismayed to find that when drinking is stopped, the man tends to be impotent. Oh, let's don't talk about that unless the reasons understood. There may be an emotional upset. Some of us had this experience only to enjoy a few months of finer NFC than ever. There should be no hesitation in consulting a doctor or psychologist for this condition. Persist. We do not know of many cases where the difficulty lasted long.

The alcoholic may find it hard to reestablish friendly relationships with his children. The young minds were impressible while he was drinking without saying so. They may cordially hate him for what he has done to them and their mother.

The children are sometimes dominant by dominated by. Pathetic. Ah, that's not the right word.

OK, Thank you. Hardness and cynicism. They cannot seem to forget and forgive. This may hang on for months, long after their mother has accepted Daddy's new way of living and thinking. All my children speak to me today. All my children call me on Father's Day. I. But I'll tell you why. Because I made those face to face. Amen. I admitted my role. Children a little bit like dogs.

They'll come back no matter what.

They don't want to be separated from that which created them. So I have a great relationship with them. My first wife treats me like I'm still married to her. She calls me up and says we got to talk about car. If I know Carl's drinking and drugging, that's what she wants to talk about. She'd like me to fix him. This may hang on for a month or long. After their mother has accepted Dad's new way of living and thinking and time, they will see that he is a new man and in their own way, they will let him know it. He let you.

When this happens, they can be invited to join a morning meditation and then they take part in daily discussion with that ranker or bias. When I Sweden, I got together, she had a little girl, her name was Michelle and she was eight years old and one of her first was a very smart girl. She's a Menza. And so she asked me, do I have to call you dad? I said, no, you got a great dad or something wrong with your dad.

And

it just so happened, the way my life was set up, that I had a lot of freedom to take her a lot of places

while her brother and dad were working. But one day I'm in the hallway of life. And I say to her, come on. I call her malice. Come on now, we're going to be late. She said, OK, Dad, I'll be right there. I never said a word, and she'd never said a word a number of years ago. She's 23 years old now, 24 now. And she says she's a college graduate. She's taking her CPA exam this Saturday, part of it. And

so one day she comes to me and she said that when I get married,

do you think it would be all right for you and my father to walk me down the aisle?

Required no discussion whatsoever. It required me to do what I say I'm going to do, required her to build a bridge of trust in me. And we have a great deal of trust. She's a very funny girl. I have two computers that can't operate, and I'm telling them about operating, buying another one for this recording studio thing. And she says to me, you can't operate the first one.

Why

I just fell off the couch I don't see. Pretty funny. It was not

all right. In time they will see the new man, and in their own way they will let him know it. That's exactly what happened to me.

When this happens, they can be invited to join in morning meditation. Then they can take part in the daily discussions without rank or bias. He's suggesting that the way he's saying is that the people who pray together probably stay together. You know, from this point on, progress will be rapid. Marvelous results often follow such a reunion. Whether the family goes on a spiritual basis or not. The alcoholic member has to, if he would recover.

We're here to apply a spiritual solution to a physical and mental problem in which there is no known cure.

And remember what I told you that Self Worth wrote about what we call alcoholic behavior is really human self-centered behavior. That's what he writes about.

So the quicker you get away from I'm this way because of alcoholic and get over to them selfish and self-centered, the quicker you're going to get better

because as long as you keep your disease, you're using it to defend your actions. The others must be convinced of the new status beyond the shadow of doubt. Seeing is believing kind. Trust. Find equals trust. It always does,

just like promises equal power.

When you see the promises in the book, it equals power for you.

Seeing is believing to most families who have lived with a drinker. Here is a case in .1 of our friends is a heavy smoker and coffee drinker. His name is Earl Free, the guy they're writing about. There was no doubt he overindulged seeing this and meaning to be helpful, his wife commenced to admonish him about it. He admitted he was overdoing these things, but Frankie said there was no not ready to stop.

His wife is one of those persons who really feels there's something rather sinful about his commodities,

so she nags and her intelligence finally throws him into a fit of anger. And he got drunk.

Trying to change somebody don't want to change ain't going to happen.

Books that it's got to come from inside, right? Our course of our friend was Of course our friend was wrong, dead wrong. He had to painfully admit that he that and mended his spiritual offences made his nice step amends. Though he is now a most effective member of Alcoholics Anonymous, he still smokes and drinks coffee. But neither his wife nor anyone else stands in judgment. She sees she was wrong to make a burning issue out of such a matter

when his more serious helmet was being rapidly cured.

We have 3 little mottos which are appropriate. They are mind your own business at no health. First things first,

live and let live, and easy does it. All right, Mike,

I'm going to go back for a minute to page 129. When Don was talking about the family afterwards and a couple people have come up during this weekend and the previous weekend and talked about, you know, when I go to work with others. And I think it's pretty clear at the bottom of 129 is talking about what's going to happen. And it says that during those first days of convalescence,

this will do more to ensure its sobriety than anything else.

So when the sponge, he says to me, jeez, I don't think I'm ready to go help somebody else.

And you want the place in the book where you talk about and somebody says, you know, you shouldn't be talking to somebody else through your ear. So

you shouldn't be thinking about sponsorship. You're always thinking about helping somebody else

and the book says that my spirituality is enhanced because I got to get out of myself because I got to be helping others

and I want to do it in the first days of convalescent.

Those you ever been in detox or treatment center, you know, who do you look to? You know, you always look, you always look to the person that's closest. You know, I never went up to the to the guy that had 10 years and said, jeez, how does it feel? I want the guy that's got 30 days,

you know, I want to know, I want to understand better in the detox, you know, when some guy was five years walks in and says, jeez, I want to tell you how I got sober. I don't care how you got sober. I want to know that that fool sitting over there was 30 days because I can't believe I can get to 30 days.

You know, I got to have, I got one day more than you got. I got something to tell you.

I got a week and you got nothing. I got something to tell you because what I want to know if I'm sitting in there is how you got a week because I got no concept of 20 plus years.

So when someone asked you that question, I'm you know, it says for you see that the book by well, that's where you see that in the book

to employers

pretty much covered everybody now, haven't we? This is sort of like

so among many employers nowadays. We think of 1 member who has spent much of his life in the world of big business.

He is hired and fired hundreds of men he knows the alcoholic, his employers, this heart. Frank. This is Hanklin. Hank Parker. Yeah, who built Partner when they were trying to sell the automobile product?

He knows the alcoholic as the employer sees him as. Present views ought to prove exceptionally useful to businessmen everywhere. But let him tell you,

I was at one time assistant manager of a corporation department employing 6600 men.

One day my secretary came in and said that Mister B

insisted on speaking with me. I told her to say that I was not interested. I had warned him several times. He had had but one more chance. Not long afterward he called me from Hartford on two successive days, so drunk he could hardly speak. I told him he was through. Finally and forever. My secretary returned to say that it was not Mr. B on the phone, it was Mr. BS Brother and he wished to give me a message.

I still expected a plea for clemency, but these words came through the receiver. I just wanted to tell you that Paul jumped from a hotel window in Hartford last Saturday.

He left us a note searing you with the best boss he ever had and that you were not to blame in any way.

Another time, as I opened a letter which lay on my desk, a newspaper clipping fell out.

It was the obituary of one of the best salesman I ever had. After two weeks of drinking, he had placed his toe on the trigger of a loaded shotgun barrel in his mouth. I had discharged him for drinking six weeks before.

Still another experience. A woman's voice came faintly over long distance for Virginia. She wanted to know if her husbands company insurance was still in force. Four days before he had hanged himself in his woodshed. I've been obliged and discharged him for drinking, though he was a brilliant alert and one of the best organizers I had ever known.

Here were three exceptional men lost to this world because I did not understand alcoholism as I do now. What irony. I became an alcoholic myself, and but for the intervention of an understanding person, I might have followed in their footsteps. My downfall cost the business community unknown thousands of dollars.

Protects real money to train a man for an executive position. This kind of waste goes on unabated. We think that business fabric is shot through with a situation that might be helped by better understanding all around

at this time. Don't give the time. The book was written

that you know, alcoholism wasn't a disease, so it wasn't treated. So there wasn't any programs in the state of California. Now if you're an alcoholic, you get you get treatment. Your drug addict, you get treatment.

But at the time that the book was written, that wasn't happening. There was number understanding it was a moral issue.

You could not. You were an immoral person. You you know, there was number cure for you. We knew there was no cure for you. You're going to you're dismissed and you're out of here.

So nearly every modern employer feels a moral responsibility for the well-being of his health and he tries to meet these responsibilities that he's not always done so for the alcoholic as easily understood him. The alcoholic has often seemed to fool of the first magnitude because the employer spent because of the employee special ability or his own strong personal attachment to him. The employers has sometimes kept such a man at work long beyond a reasonable period.

Some employers have tried every known remedy.

In only a few instances had there been a lack of patience and tolerance. And we will impose on the best of employers conspiracy sparsely scarcely blame them if they had been short with us. I got to tell you a little bit of my story here because, you know, I never lost a job. One thing I figured out as an alcoholic early on, you know, if you put yourself in such a position and you keep making the money,

they're going to turn the blind eye.

No. And if you could keep going down that road, you'll keep going down that road. And I talked to a lot of people in here the last, you know, four days that we've been here,

you know, doing that same situation, you know, your bottom is not going to be a bottom necessarily. That's broke. And I've lost everything and I don't have anything,

you know, I can have that all. I can play that game and I can finish that off and still be in denial about my alcoholic and still be trying to find a way around it.

You know, when I finally, when I finally get sober, you know I was drunk 24 hours a day.

I still had a great Pagan job,

you know, but I had to get up every single morning, start drinking. I'd actually come to every single morning, start doing

and drink all day and pass out at night, you know, and it's amazing alcoholic mind at work because, you know, I concocted, manipulated myself into a position with an employer that would cover all of that, that allowed me to do that every single day.

Now, that's not everybody's story,

but it happens to everyone, you know.

Here, for instance, is a typical example, an officer on the best of the largest banking institutions in America

knows I no longer drink. One day he told me about Executive, the same branch who was from his description, was undoubtedly alcoholic. This seemed to me like an opportunity to be helpful. So I spent two hours talking about alcoholism, the malady, and describe the symptoms and results as well as I could. His comment was very interesting, but I'm sure this man is done drinking. He has just returned from a three month leave of absence,

has taken a cure, looks fine and to clinch the batter. The board of directors told me this was his last chance.

I went into treatment. I called the guy that I worked for who's in another state and I said I'm taking the month off because of my alcoholism, going in for treatment. He says, Oh my God, you can't do this to me. You are not an alcoholic. You don't need to go to treatment

you know.

The only answer I could make was if the man followed the usual pattern he would gone to bigger but on a bigger bus than ever. I felt this was inevitable and wondered if the bank was doing the man an injustice why not bring him into contact with some of our alcoholic crowd, he might have a chance. I pointed out that I had nothing, I had had nothing to drink whatever for three years and this in the face of difficulties will remain. 9 out of 10 men drink their heads off.

Why not at least afford him an opportunity to hear my story?

All no, said my friend. This chap is either through with liquor or he is minus a job. If he has your willpower and guts, he will make the grave.

That's the assumption. See the assumption. I always want to believe that normal people are going to look at me

and things that I'm like reasonable, that they're going to understand, you know, and to this day, you know what I found out of this program? My powerless. I'm unmanageable. So I'm abnormal and I'm insane

and I will continue to be abnormal and insane. And that's not going to change. And there's no time that I'm ever going to be able to look at an employer or look at somebody out there and say, jeez, I want you to accept me as like a normal person, you know, and understand what it is and how I have to live my life.

I want to throw up my hands in discouragement. For I saw that I'd failed to help my banker friend understand. He simply could not believe that his brother executive suffered from a serious illness. There was nothing to do but wait. Presently, the man, the man did slip and was fired. While he's discharged. We contacted him without Much Ado. He accepted the principles and procedure that it helped him, helped us.