Pollock Pines, CA

Confessing my former ill feeling, meaning that I no longer have that, that I have come to the point and step through steps four and five and with six and seven, when I pray to have those defects removed, that I understand now and that I can give forgiveness,

That's how I'm going to find the other side.

That makes sense.

So then he's going to give specific directions on how to do this.

Under no condition do we criticize such a person or argue. So when can we argue or criticize?

Is there any question about that?

Guys ask me that all the time. But what if he said under no condition do we argue

simply and this is all we do to make an amends. Simply, we tell him that we will never get over drinking until we have done our utmost to straighten out the past.

We are there to sweep off our side of the street,

realizing that nothing worthwhile can be accomplished until we do, Never trying to tell him what he should do. His faults are not discussed. We stick to our own. If our manner is calm, frank, and open, we will be grateful with the result. It's pretty clear how I'm going to approach. And this is, this is specifically talking about how I would approach someone I just like, but it's also the same approach to everybody else.

This is all I'm trying to do. All I want to do is I'm coming to you. And I did, he said, You know, the work. I almost couldn't say the word right now.

All you understand that I'm I'm another program that requires me to make restitution

and I need to tell you that I was wrong.

I'm not sorry. I mean I am sorry but what I really was was wrong.

I don't want to be wrong,

that's been my problem all along. I was never wrong.

I'm wrong and I have harmed you in the past. This is how I believe I harmed you,

and by the grace of God, I'm going to change. Amend. I'm going to change

and it will not happen again.

And what can I do to make it right for you? How can I make restitution?

We're not talking about reconciliation here. See, that was in my mind,

wow, let's see, I'm going to go to my wife and I'm going to tell her all of this stuff. And then when I'm done, because I'm so honest and forthright, the spirit of love and understanding is going to come over her and she's going to like, say, oh, is it a wonderful Mike sober after 36 years?

I think everything will be just peachy from here on.

Now, my old best friend, I'm not looking. There is nothing through me except to clean up my wreckage. I am making restitution. I am. I am talking of the change that's taking place to me in me because of my spiritual awakening

in 78, in nine cases out of 10, the unexpected happens. Sometimes the man we were calling upon admits his own fault. So fuse of your standing melt away

and an hour. Rarely do we fail to make satisfactory progress. Our former enemies sometimes praise what we are doing and wishes well. Occasionally they will offer assistance. It should not matter, however, if someone does throw us out of his office. We've made our demonstration, done our part. It's water over the dam.

I'm going to go do what I have to do. I'm going to leave. Tell my guy, you go, you do what you have to do,

that's it. And you shut up. You close your mouth and you listen. Is there something you know? And I want to make sure all the harms are finished. Is there some other harm you want to tell me about?

Shut up,

it's not about them.

So then, to make sure that we understand what all of those things are, it goes to example #2 most Alcoholics owe money.

We do not dodge our creditors tell them what we're trying to do. We make no bones about our drinking. They usually know it anyway, whether we think so or not. Nor are we afraid of disclosing our alcoholism on the theory it may cause financial harm. Approached in this way, the most ruthless creditor will sometimes surprise us, arranging the best deal we can to let these people know we are signed.

Our drinking made us slow to pay. Then comes the warning.

We must lose our fear of predators no matter how far we have to go,

for we are liable to drink if we were afraid to face it.

I have to straighten out the wreckage of my past. If I have a financial and material harm, I got to make it right

now. I can't make it right today, but I could go make the amends and say, you know what? I stole $1000 from you,

and I know that,

and I want to change and I want to pay it back and I'll send you $0.05 every two weeks,

whatever I can do.

But I've got to be taking an action to clean up that record.

What about my back childhood working? What about what I did to somebody else? Oh, I can't go find that guy, You know, a guy that was a burglar, You know,

How do I find the 300 people I burgled in Vallejo?

No, you don't. But then maybe there's another. You know, we will find. God will show you. Pray for that and it will happen. But I need to make the financial restitution

#3 it says perhaps we have committed a criminal offense which might land us in jail if it were known to the authorities. We may be short on our accounts, unable, unable to make good. We've already admitted this in confidence to another person. But we are sure we would be imprisoned or lose our job if it were known. Maybe it's only a petty offense that just patting the expense account. Most of us have done that sort of thing.

Maybe we're divorced and have remarried but haven't kept up the alimony to #1 She's indignant about it and has worn out for our arrest. That's a common form of trouble too,

all those whose reparations take innumerable forms.

There are some general principles which we find guided,

reminding ourselves that we have decided to go to any length.

Another warning to find a spiritual experience,

we ask that we be given strength and direction to do the right thing no matter what the personal consequences may be,

no matter what the personal consequences may be. We may lose our position, our reputation or face jail, but we are willing. We have to be. We must not shrink at anything. This is a test of that covenant. You know, do I have faith in the program and faith that I'm going to move forward. I have a number of fonsees that are facing.

I mean, Bill uses the example of padding expense account and not paying his alimony, but you can face some much dire consequences of that at the public

and Swansea's will say, well, what do I need to do? I don't want to go to prison for 10 years. I don't want to go to prison. I don't want to insect.

How do you sponsor You got to get right with yourself and with God. And it says that I'm going to ask that we be given the strength and direction to do the right thing. So I got to go pray on that. I got to ask my God what it's going to take for me to miss at this right. It may mean that I'm going to prison

remaining, that there's some other restitution that I can make,

but I have to do that no matter what the personal consequences may be.

So it says. Usually, however, the people are involved. Therefore we are not to be hasty and foolish. Mars, who necessarily sacrifice others to save themselves from the alcoholic pit.

It's a warning once again that Bill had back in the in the pista, a man we know had remarried because of a resentment in drinking. He had not paid alimony to his first wife. She was furious. She went to court and got an order for his arrest.

He had commenced our way of life as secured a position and was getting his head above water. It would have been impressive heroics if he had walked up to the judge and said here I am.

We thought he ought to be willing to do that if necessary, but if he were in jail he could provide nothing for either family. We suggested he write his first wife admitting his faults and ask forgiveness. He did, and so since its fallen and also sent his fallen amount of money, he told her what he would try to do in the future. He said he was perfectly willing to go to jail if she insisted. Of course she did not. The whole situation is long since been adjusted,

so we always look for the solution and we got to prey on the solution and we got to ask for the guidance and the strength to go forward.

We also get those situations on how do we clear others? And that's the next example on page 80. Because before taking drastic action which might implicate other people, we secure their consent.

So it's not too cold to use other people's names

to clean up your side of the street.

If we have obtained permission, we have consulted with others. Ask God to help

and the drastic step is indicated. We must not shrink.

So I got to do all of those things. Once again, I can't implicate somebody else. And he gives us an example. This brings to mind the story about one of our friends while drinking. Except that a sum of money from a bitterly hated business rival giving him no receipt for it. He subsequently denied having received the money and used the instrument as a basis for discrediting the man. He thus used his own wrongdoing as a means of destroying the reputation of another. In fact, his rival was ruined.

He felt he had done it wrong, could not possibly make life

if we open that old affair. He was afraid it might. It would destroy the reputation of his partner, disgrace his family and take away his means of livelihood.

What right had he to involve those dependent upon him? How could he possibly make a public statement exonerating his rival?

So what the solution? After consulting with his wife and partner, he came to the conclusion

that it was better to take those risks than the stand before his creator. Guilty

of such ruinous slander

if I need to always be looking for the way that I can right my wrongs,

whatever that takes. And maybe that is going to somebody that wasn't directly wrong, like my wife, but is indirectly wrong. And I got to make it right there and I got to keep making it right down that whole chain

until I've cleaned up that wreckage of the past.

Because the one is he said that he had to place the outcome in God's hands or he would soon start drinking again and all would be lost anyhow. See, can I go back to my God after I've asked that all my defects and character be removed? And I now

made the commitment to do restitution and then go back on my 7th step prayer and said, oh, by the way, that one thing I need to Bob, I'm taking that off the plate.

I'm not going to do anything about that. You know, that's what we do.

So we attended purchases. In this case, he attended church for the first time in many years. After the sermon, he quietly got up and made an explanation. His action met widespread approval and today is one of the most trusted citizens of town. This all happened years ago.

So the chances are #5 then

chances are

that we have domestic trouble. Anybody in here have domestic trouble?

Perhaps we were mixed up with women or men in a fashion we wouldn't care to have advertised. We doubt if in this respect, Alcoholics are fundamentally much worse than other people. But drinking does complicate sex relations at home. After a few years with an alcoholic, a wife gets sworn out, resentful and uncommunicative.

How could she be anything else? The husband begins to feel lonely, sorry for himself. He convinces to look around in the night clubs or their equivalent for something besides liquor. Perhaps he has a secret and exciting affair with a girl who understands.

In fairness, we must say that she may understand. But what are we going to do about a thing like this, like that? A man so involved often feels very most full at times, especially if he's married to a loyal and courageous girl who has literally gone through health ramp.

Whatever the situation, we usually have to do something about it.

If we are sure our wife does not know, should we tell her? Question

not always with that.

If she knows in a general way that we have been wild, should we tell her in detail?

Second question.

Undoubtedly we should admit our fault.

She may insist on all the particulars. She will want to know who the woman is and where she is. We feel we ought to say to her that we have no right to involve another person. We are sorry for what we have done, and God willing, it will not be repeated. More than that, we cannot do. We have no right to go further.

I can't implicate anyone else in what I've done wrong,

and in some cases there may be a wrong that it would be such a harm to the other person if they're unaware of it that I'm not going to share that. That's why I do an 8 step list. That's why I share that list with my sponsor. That's why we look at how the amends is going to be made and we discuss it before I go out making them in.

I always have every once in a while response either decides that somebody, there's somebody out there that he has to talk to and make an amends to before he talks to me. He did step three and decided that he needs to go tell his wife about something

and inevitably it creates more harm than it does good.

So it says. Though there may be a justifiable exceptions, as though we wish to lay down no rule of any sort, we have often found this the best course to take. Our design for living is not a one way St.

is as good for the wife is for the husband.

If we forget, so conceded. It is better, however,

that one does not needlessly name a person about whom she convened. Jealousy, right? I'm not out there trying to do more harm than I did when I was drunk. I've already done that harm. I only need to recognize that harm, recognize that I am wrong,

indicate that I'm going to change. By the grace of God and program Alcoholics Anonymous, I have a new life and I will make restitution as best I can.

Perhaps there are some cases where the utmost frankness is demanded. No outsider from appraised such an intimate situation. It may be that both will decide that the way to go, the way of good sense and loving kindness, is to let bygones be bygones.

So what do I do each night? Pray about it having the others happiness of most in mind.

Keep it always insight that we are dealing with the most terrible human emotion, jealousy.

Good generalship may decide that the problem be attacked on the flank rather than face a than risk a face to face compound

comma. I can't even say it.

Then we come to example number six that he uses, or the situation number six.

If we have no such complication,

there is plenty we should do with all.

Sometimes we hear an alcoholic say that the only thing he needs to do is to keep sober.

Wow, I'm sober now.

Shouldn't you be happy? That's all I need to do.

I'm finished. That's the usual answer I do

see. I want to have the same old behavior. Just don't drink.

See, I'm not amending anything other than the fact that I didn't put alcohol in my system. But I'm still selfish, self-centered, inconsiderate,

whatever I am.

See, I think the only thing I need to do is keep sober. Certainly he must keep sober, for there will be no home if he doesn't. But he is yet a long way from making good to his wife or parents whom for years he has so shockingly treated.

Passing all understanding is the patience of mothers and wives have had with Alcoholics. Had this not been so, many of us would have no homes today, would perhaps be dead.

Above this example, the alcoholic is like a tornado roaring his way through the lives of others. Hearts are broken, sweet relationships are dead, affections have been uprooted, selfish and inconsiderate habits have kept the home in turmoil. We feel a man is unthinking when he says that sobriety is enough.

He is like the farmer who came out of the cyclone cell to find his home, ruling to his wife, he remarked. Don't see anything the matter here, Ma, any grand. The wind stopped long.

It's a very important warning on the top of page 83. Yes, there's a long period of reconstruction ahead. We must take the lead.

A remorseful mumbling that we are sorry won't fill the bill at all. We ought to sit down with the family and frankly analyze the past as we now see it, being very careful not to criticize them.

Their defects may be glaring, but the chances are that our own actions are partly responsible.

So we clean house with the family,

asking each morning in meditation that our Creator shows the way of patience, tolerance, kindness and love,

The hardest commands to make.

The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live. If I'm not doing step quip, I'm not doing the part of love. This is I'm practicing these principles in all my affairs.

Then I'm not living the amends. I'm not making the amends that I said I was going to make. I'm not changing my life that I change in 1011 and 12. If I don't grow in spirit, in understanding and effectiveness,

then then there is no restitution.

So it says. Unless one's family expresses a desire to live upon spiritual principles. We think we ought not urge them. We should not talk incessantly to them about spiritual matters. They will change in time. Our behavior will convince them more than words.

We must remember that 10 or 20 years of drunkenness would make a skeptic out of anyone.

See, I want to go home and I want to say to my wife,

I got a new way of living.

I've done these steps and I found a relationship with my God and you need to come do it too.

Hi, no, you're the sick one. There's nothing wrong with me and I'm not going down your path.

That's why,

you know, And because of 36 years of drinking, the book tells me that I got to have patience, tolerance, kindness and love.

Your Al Anon program is not working. Too bad. You're out of here, baby.

You know I don't expect my children to come running through the door and go. Dad, you're back. You got sober

36 years later.

So our baby, our behavior will convince them more than our word. What I ask God to do for me in the third step? Prayer, which was taken away by difficulties so that victory over them would bear witness,

would bear witness to those I would help.

Those I would help don't include Alcoholics. I would help include all those people that have harm that I would like to help as well.

So then it goes on. It goes back to how the eight step category types and people talk about types of men

and says there are some wrongs we can never fully right. We partial amends

we don't need. We don't worry about them if we could honestly say to ourselves that we would write them if we could.

Some people cannot be seen.

We send them an honest letter

so there's no personal contact

and there may be a valid reason for postponement in some cases. There's some that I can I may need to defer, but it's just not right.

But we don't delay if it can be avoided. And so that's the one that's now I don't delay if it can be avoided.

This once again, if I put down, if I do my do an 8 step lift and I'm down, I'm not going to do it now.

Am I going to do a partial? Am I going to defer it or am I never going to do it?

You know, I can decide I want to do that. Listen, then I can take that to my sponsor and my I can discuss with my sponsor whether it's now you know, whether it makes sense on any of those and whether in fact I meet the criteria that the book talks about for those for making those demands.

But we don't delay if it can be avoided. We should be sensible, tactful, considered and humble without being so loud as creeping.

As God's people, we stand on our feet.

We don't crawl before anyone,

So what is going to keep me? I'm going to go to the 12 by 12 for a minute here.

Actually visiting and writing people top of the page concerned now overwhelmed us. Especially we remembered how poor favor they stood among most of them that we stood with among with most of them.

There are cases, too, where we had damaged others who were still happily unaware of being hurt. Why, we cried? Shouldn't bygones be right? ONS Why do we think these of these people at all? So these are the are some of the waves in which fear conspired with pride to hinder our making a list of all people we have harmed.

So I got I got forgiveness. That's an obstacle.

I got my fear of facing certain people combined with my pride of not wanting to admit that I'm wrong as an obstacle. And in the last paragraph on page 79, he says the third, which is self delusion. This attitude, of course, is the end result of purposeful forgetting. I love that expression. Purposeful forgetting is an attitude which can only be changed by deep and honest search of our motives in action.

So I want to continue to tell myself

that something didn't happen. I can do that as well.

So page 81st full paragraph. It tells us what

why this is so important. While the purpose of making restitution to others is paramount,

is the most important thing we can do,

it is equally necessary that we extricate from an examination of our personal relations every bit of information about ourselves and our fundamental difficulties that we can.

OK, so the whole time that I'm doing my amends, Bill's also telling me that I'm going to continue with my inventory. I'm going to take away from this experience as much truth as I can about myself and about what my difficulties are, because I want to understand my obstacles and I want those removed.

Since defective relations, whether human beings have nearly always been the immediate cause of our role woes,

including our alcoholism.

So that brings us then to

the night step promises,

which are red bottom of page 83.

Starts off with a conditional word. If

we are painstaking about this phase of our development, you know, they meet these promises, all the pilot meetings and somehow people,

what was I got? I got written here. I said, you know, you hear the meetings all the time and it's sort of like it's the promises in the book of his promises that every step in the book, there's promises all over the book, but these become the promises in the fellowship.

And I heard the expression once is it's amazing what a has become because now people come to work the promises and hope the steps come true.

It's amazing how many people come in

and they say, yeah, I'm working on the getting those promises

and I just hope that the steps come true.

So it says if we're painstaking. So what does that, what is painstaking mean? Does that mean that if I'm painstaking about this phase of my development? You know, nowhere in this book does it say it's fun to do these steps. And there's probably no step that's less fun to do, at least in my mind and in my experience, than Step 9.

It was OK,

you know, when I just had to like sit down and start writing out everything about my life and I had a look in my life and I didn't have to share it with anybody. And then I had to share it with my sponsor and share with God. And that was kind of okay because I could always get rid of my sponsor and you know, God wasn't going to tell anybody else.

Then I came to 89 and now the real pain sits there

because now I got to go out to all those people that I've harmed. And if I did an honest and thorough painstaking inventory,

you know,

I pretty much figured out that everybody that ever known me in my life somehow got harmed.

That's a lot of harm.

You know, it wasn't like all the poor misses. It was like the poor misses and the poor misses family and their cousins and the nephew. I mean, any fool that just happened to wander into my sphere of influence was damaged.

You know, people I work with, people that work for me, people that were clients, people it didn't matter.

And so now the real pain sets in

because I'm out there

saying those things. The humbling thing that just kills me. You know what? I was long.

That word just doesn't even want to come out of my mouth

and I want to make it right. What can I do

to make it right? Because I have found a new way of living and I have changed. Whoa, the fear behind that now I've changed, I'm wrong, I'm changing, and I want to make restitution.

So it means if we are painstaking

about this faith of one of army, we'll be amazed before we are what, halfway through?

So there should be an expectation that I'm starting to get these promises. I wouldn't think until I had liked done steps one through 9 and 8 1/2,

You know. So we're going to know a new freedom, a new happiness. We might regret the past and wish to shut the door. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.

No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see our experience can benefit others. That feeling of usefulness, uselessness and self pitiful disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.

Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

You know, are these extravagant provinces? We think not. They're being fulfilled among us, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if conditional word we work for

and I always liked and it's an interesting read if you go back through it. Joe and Charlie, if you listen to Joe and Charlie is the substitute, the word alcohol.

And you understand that, you know, alcohol was my promise giver so that if I go back to these promises, you know, it says after I drink alcohol, I'm going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.

Yeah. When I drink alcohol, I do not regret the pastoral wish to shut the door on it.

You see, I just didn't want to confront any of that part of life, anything to change my reality now. I would change my reality now.

So that's an interesting exercise.

So at the end of Step 9,

and what I've gotten to here in my mind is that I now have that kit of spiritual tools that Bill talked about on page 25 when he told me they were going to go forward.

Four through 9 is my Kita tool. I now know how I can deal with everything that I have in my life if I inventory it, if I share it with my sponsor, if I take it to my prior power, and that I make restitution for what I have to do. So 8-9.

I'm pretty relaxed.

All right. Very good night. Thank you.

Let us Try

finally stepped in in the book

after 9 right?

I can find it.

There we go,

page 84

and he starts out and we're down

under the promises and he said, are these extravagant promises?

Well, if you're looking for the thought, that's the thought of these extravagant promises. We think not.

They are being fulfilled among us, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

Slowly is an awakening.

Bill had an experience which is different

on you immediately.

The case of the rest of us, we have awakenings which comes over a period of time and that's the way mine fell. So he says this thought, what thought of these extravagant promises, That's your thought. Bring us to step 10, which suggests we continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along.

The 1st 60 pages of our book lays out our first two steps and they culminate in Page 60 when and it says we're at step three and it's the ABC being convinced the ABC's we're Step 3.

I make a third step decision to get in fit spiritual condition. Page 77 says our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be a maximum service to God and the people about it. How do I do that? Four through 9? So when I take a third step decision, it's really about going 4 through 9 to get it to fit spiritual conditions. 10:00 and 11:00 will keep you in fit spiritual condition and 12:00 with the work. Does that make sense?

And this is a whole package. You can't have a seat. He'll be all the way in. Or don't even come in the South.

So he calls. They'll call this the 4th dimension of life

since 10:11 and 12:00

and this is where most people Live Today once they have gotten their inventory worked out of the way. Done 4 through 9. Keep it clean and 10. Every once in a while things do pop up from the past, things that were suppressed in some way. Maybe you intentionally did. I couldn't get my mother's name down on a piece of paper for about 3 1/2 years and I did some pretty decent inventory work.

Year one and two I did a quick one. I was about 35 days. So it was had all to do with farms to my children and my first life, which is pretty obvious to me. You didn't have to tell me a harmful.

So we vigorously commenced this way of living, vigorously

this way of living.

What does Wilson say? A is age 15 to 12A age. A set of principles, spiritual in their nature,

when they practice as a way of life, can sell the obsession to drink and make us happy, useful and whole. And you need to measure your traditions against what a A is, not what you think it is.

So it's down one paragraph there you decide to fellowship on top, and the second paragraph down.

So that's what I ate, is a set of principles. And behind each step there are principles. And we'll get around to telling you if we remember.

So it says vigorously commence this way of living as we clean up the past. So a lot of people, oh, I can't do 10 and 11 or 12 because I haven't finished my night set meant that's not what this said.

You usually make the first nine step amends and you move into the 4th dimension of life as a result of that.

There are men you'll never get to make it. You wait until you've got them all made. You'll be 150 years old if you live that long, and you'll never help another soul. It says we have entered the world of the Spirit.

Where do we enter the world of the Spirit? And step 10 As a result of what? Or through 9 pretty easy off the yard.

Our next function is to grow an understanding and effectiveness.

You start listening to Fist test my friend and Foss and you're growing effectiveness and understanding. I can continue. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime.

Continue to watch for self dishonest.

We call that what

for sure

when these crop up, we asked Scott it wants to remove them. We call them six and seven.

We discussed with someone immediately. We call it 5

and make amends quickly. If we've harmed anybody. We call it 8:00 and 9:00.

It will keep me in fit spirit of condition on a daily basis.

I shouldn't have to if I've done this thing right, unless there's things I just couldn't come up with. It will come up, but I should be. After you've been sober a while and work this process, you should be pretty neat. And if you're pretty neat, you'll be seriously fit. And if you're spiritually fit, God can work through you.

You're not spirits, he said. He can't work through just that stuff.

I can't afford resentments. There's a haunt. I really can't.

I refuse to live that way anymore,

he said, and make the amends quickly. If we've harmed anyone, then we resolutely. Then after we've done that, when I'm back in the 5th spiritual condition, then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone who we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code. Fantastic. Love and tolerance doesn't mean you trust them.

You love men. Suffering

is your 10 step promise. I love these promises

and we have ceased fighting anything or anyone, even alcohol. I got off the debating Society of life a long time ago.

Obelisk time Sandy will return.

When does it return

at 10?

As for his all the forces and I

not back in three, Not back in two.

We seldom would be interested in liquor

if tented. We recall from it as a hot plane.

For us, that's the natural reaction. It's something that's poison and it's marked poison, and you're gonna pick it up. And so there's don't drink that. It's poison.

Oh my goodness. So

I was at a meeting one time and the young lady came in.

It's you and a young lady and 40 maybe that's pretty young. Anyway, she's she's middle-aged young something. I'll get over there. I got my foot out there. I can't get it back.

So she came in and she probably announced that this was her Home group.

It's a pretty good group of meetings or five meetings a week there at noon. And a lot of old timers come through it, a lot of people that don't go out at night much. So you have a tendency to get people that are sold many, many years.

And she said, she said, I just have to tell you though, she's very proud of her year, but she should have been hurting God here. And so she started to cry and she says, I have to tell you the truth, I wanted to drink yesterday.

And so she said. I called the women that they were all at work. Nobody was home.

I tried to call men and all. I'm not supposed to do that, but it did anyway.

Lay it around, talk to my five year old kid. That didn't help much and finally I prayed and I got back.

So after the meeting I went to, I just couldn't stand her soon, that kind of pain. And I took out the book and I looked on, stepped in, and I said, let's see what happened.

It said we'll seldom be interested in liquor. You were interested, but it doesn't come every day, not like you used to. And if you're attempted recalled as a hot plane, what do you think calling people on the phone is to correlate? I said you started recording right away. You did everything the books promised that you would do and you didn't drink. You, instead of going to the first thing first, was to pray with God, you went to everything else.

He got to be laughed, but that's all right. You still made it there anyway, you know,

because that's the way most of us are. We don't go to God right away. We want to figure it out.

We react sanely and normally for us, for me to drink as insane, I cannot drink safely. I can drink, drink when I leave this beating today, I can drink but I can't drink safely.

Can drink but I can't drink safely. So it's then saying to me to do something that's unsafe, that will harm me. Does that make sense? We find this has happened automatically.

Oh how? Through the Step 4 through 9 automatically. There's nothing you did.

Something's changed in you. Because if something doesn't change you, you remain the old you guess what the old you does. The old you drinks and then you go on a drink.

We see this is our new attitude towards liquor has been giving us without any thought or effort on our part. I didn't do it. I was willing to let God do it.

That supplies to my life today. I didn't do it. I allowed God to do it. I didn't set this meeting up. I allowed God to do it.

I got around to asking Mike. He said OK, could have said no.

It just comes. That's the way my life operates. It just comes

remove these meetings from the Tuesday night at the house. I do the books have done it for years. When I started losing them little night blindness, I had finally made-up my mind. The little chat with God and a few people that 40 people in that little room was just too many. And so some people quit coming because it was subscribing and some people wanted to bring people.

But my stubbornness about this has got to be where it's got to be because it's convenient for me. And so I said, ask him one night as a group. I said we need to take a group conference. Do you think we'll move the meeting? Every hand shot of I'm the only dummy that doesn't know it needs to move the lead.

Next day is Friday. I go to a meeting at 11:30, coming on starting time

and after the meeting one of the girls there and her boyfriend said to me, would you go and have lunch with us at the Chinese restaurant

are secured. But I never do have lots of friends either. Not that we're not friends and you know, we go to meetings together. We're not what I told losing buddy.