Steps ten through twelve at the San Diego Intergroup's Serenity Retreat in San Diego, CA

OK, as usual, we should start with a prayer. Yeah, and we, I guess the Serenity prayer. Who? Who can lead? How about the this young lady whose name I've already forgotten? Susan

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom is not a difference.

Well, my name is Roy. I'm a compulsory reader in a miracle mental health that we're back to our high group. We got the hardcore remnants here who are interested in the big book approach and my buddy Sherry's here and some always have attended her thing and she's really super in her first part of her seminars about getting a food plan and an abstinence together. And I and that is absolutely

excellent to attend one of her

presentation. She happens to be a good buddy of mine in the fellowship and I always love hearing her. So some people are attending that, which is good, but people here know that I've been going through the big book and the step process and I feel that. And I was talking to one of our members that over to breakfast table there about how important it is to work the tools, get your food plan, get your absence,

get your God squad, your support group, get a commitment

at a meeting, get a Home group. OK, get those two sides of the triangle unity and service in place. And then when your head is clear, as the book says, you know, some of them are jittery or be fogged. So we hospitalize them. But on your head, when your heads clear from the sugar for 30 days, you may be ready to sit down with a guy like me and go through this, that process and build a power that will keep you connected and will keep the insanity of the first compulsive bite out of your head

rest of your life. Now, I played in one of the first sessions, a little bit of Bills 1951 Dallas tape where he told about Abby's visit. And he started with the fact that Abby just was this guy that was worse than him. And now with two months of sobriety, Bill's considering him a miracle. That's to use Bill's own language. I'm not saying that Bill is

and the any and Ebbie delivers a simple verbal message which contains in Bill's own words the essence, the core of what is still the A program today, he says, speaking in 1951, twelve years after that or more than 12 years after that. So

the simple message was yet honest with yourself about your defects,

your abusive, well, in our case, food, in his case alcohol. You stop living alone, you join a fellowship, you make an inventory and share it. You do a confession, you make restitution, all those you've harmed. You go help people with no thought of compensation or prestige, just help people so they could be unhelpful. And you pray to whatever God there is out there to help you, right. So Abby brings him this message

in his kitchen. He keeps on drinking, and I wanted to play. It'll only take a minute, actually probably less than a minute of what happened after he brought him the message. He kept on drinking for three days. But as he says, in no way could he ever get this guy out of his head. I mean, here's a guy. He said if I ever get this bad, I'm going to quit. Well, he got that bad and couldn't quit, and this guy sober. And that's how most of us take our second step.

We come to believe that there's some power that's restoring some of these people to sanity. You know, we see the pictures of 300 pounders now, they're normal size. We hear the the food stories,

we go to the workshops, we go to the speaker meetings, we listen to the podcast and hear these stories. We come to believe. So he's come to believe that there's his power now, but the question is, can he accept this power? And so he keeps on drinking for another three days, but he couldn't get heavy out of his head. And then I just want to play maybe another minute of this where he talks about he finally checks himself in to a hospital to get detox. And as you know, in no way we detox too. We put down the fork,

we put down the compulsive foods, we call the food sponsor and start with our food plan. And we're in withdrawal, man. We're in detox and all the feelings are coming up. And then he, he, he is laying in his hospital debating this God stuff. And it's and he's desperate enough to make the commitment. And I just want to play this last minute or so of the tape. It'll only take a minute and you'll hear,

you'll hear the spiritual experience where he got opened up to a higher power.

And the words he uses is I'm a Freeman. And that reminds me of the day when I sat down and I after that a meeting and realized I hadn't thought about food for two weeks. And I said, holy shit, my obsession has been removed, you know, and he this is the original experience of being freed from the obsession back in 1934.

And so let me get up to old bills.

We have to go in about, I'd say maybe 10 minutes.

This is where he's getting the message,

but for me, I feel my affection has been taken away from me, he said. I feel that I have been released

Strange statement for a man in the waterway tonight. Now this is something that well, I said, what's the formula? This is the simple program

3098.

I put them on very.

New I got on it with myself about my own defect.

I put this living alone. I thought that manufacturers and uncertain I had an infection,

I made a list of the people I hired and visited them. I made it what I made the restitution I could

and I learned about a new kind of giving that we took the lead the kind of giving the demand no award. I was told that I occupy and help other people down on me the man for quite seats or materials instead of like

I said, I know you're awful sunshine and let it start because I'm not a driver. That is reality on the danger

is an idol in God.

God is not understanding, and he said in order to make this simple program work in my life,

argument is necessary according to whatever goddamn one behind this business.

That was my friend's message.

I thought had this message in his essence being over since.

Simple as that.

In the hands of another alcoholic. And he as those ancient verities never healed Alpha. Most people.

The secret was, of course, that one alcoholic was talking to another. So what? He said, struggling deep

indeed. He lived in my fence, had lived in my strange world, but now I thought that he had been taken out of that world. Insanity of doing story.

Fortunately, he didn't try to vandalize or question or say my soul. As desirable as that could have been, and probably would still be,

he finally did

well. I went out drinking my days. I was done

a lot of younger days. They feed up two and three a day When I got time, which was pretty often

always wouldn't work in a department store. I was putting up on the Great Wall Street side. She now they were provider. You guys here on the same bed. I love it.

So I'm Franken

waiting now,

the father of my friend

in the waking hour. Could I expel

those principles from my mind here, that

I rebelled with God upon myself? How could one get that

what length I think the same frozen new fathers have. We're down Lord, in this extremity, I said to myself. After all, hold our fingers to be shoot. I am a doomed 1.

I didn't want to have cancer. If carcinoma was my trouble, I would graduate, place myself in charge of any position there was who could exercise those health steps.

And it's not this thing. Alpha knowledge and

a cancer of the body, A cancer of the emotions.

And yet could there be such a thing is not a cancer of the soul.

So it can't be any great position you are going to speak around

no realization. I hope the decision as you have said to go to our school and get brought up and being kind of a further than Yankee audio didn't want to have any of this down South travel rigid and all. So I went up to hospital

like all other drugs on their way to be short for the last time I got cited. Infections came in their way to the bottle shop at the doctor. I had something.

I'm going to have a boy by the upstairs to go present.

So I want this upstairs, you know, I want some bed and three days and I was all free of alcohol today. See, I've gone a month early for

my son who was born

a day I was feeling mine in law

in his order with my friend.

I forget,

I know it was hard enough

and it was way up early morning.

I thought I had you and I since thought this man is consciously 23,

a little scary of antibiotics in front of them with this light but all No, he's painted. That's why we've learned

they just came up to play a visit. Bill, heard you were up here. Hope I can be a little out,

but family didn't tell me what that formula was. Again, that's perception for recovering from alcohol. He weighed. He made me add him. What is it? How do you do this? Began. Oh wow, it's Temple City. You got on with yourself.

You talk about with another. Incompetence

might be compassion. Going back nothing

you look around as advantage. You've done other people and going Rex

required a helpful a lot of folks

without any demand for the one and he played a lot of regard to it. And that's all I told her. I said cognitive decisions of fiber

even though he got no phrase. I'm not happy with my

well, he talked about the weather and you'll find an office on again.

So I'm very committed having a lot of time.

Why not the only problem? Too much

one after all three? I said back

so there in one.

Well, the bearing went on.

I began to get more and more depression.

I find it something when Honor Blackman

I was a shot

alone hopefully for crying in the dark

and in last

in that point I said well now just like a cancer patient, I will do anything to get well anything to be withered his faithful son

and I said if there is a God who is going so

I want to they believe that rolled light up

in the great blind water.

I was caught up in electricity for with

the overwhelming frustration of Freeman

and in my drive seemed as though I couldn't sit on a mountain

and allow me the great wind, blower,

lot of air,

A wing of God,

the grace of God,

and I knew I was a pretty man,

but I don't know how long I want to.

I'd like to find it.

Of course I still line advantage in firewall

but now

seemingly are in a different world

and a great peace steals all. I feel one with the universe

and my first coach I thought was

so this is the God of the priest

that came to me in the great black.

Well, what you heard essentially

was Bill Wilson's first, second and third step experience. You see, the alcohol drove into this sense of desperation. And of course, before 1934 or five, he just died. He had a hopeless condition. He knew he was defeated. He was given a simple message in a non evangelical tone. Well, they're not much. I don't have much theology.

Just get honest with yourself about your defects. You share it with somebody else, you know, quit living alone. You make a confession, you go out and make restitution. You help people with no sense of compensation and you pray to whatever God there is. And he's he says that no time

could I get my friend and his message out of my head. He went on drinking, checks himself into a hospital waving a beer bottle, Doctor Silk or says, well, you better go upstairs. He says, I got some doc. You know, he's waving a beer bottle. You know his thing he's talking about he's message and doc says, of course you do my boy, You back up and go to bed. So he's still detoxing and he comes up to the hospital. I don't know if you could understand everything, the acoustics and the quality of the you know, this was real to real tapes in 1951. So,

and I don't have this software to clean this stuff up digitally. And

he comes up to visit him and and Bill says, well, this guy practices what he preaches. You know, he's I haven't seen him for years. And he comes up town to town's hospital, comes across town actually. And

he says, what's that message again, Evie? You know, Evie didn't preach at him. He waited to Bill ask him, you know, and he gives him the message for second time.

And Bill says this is still at the heart of what's at the aid program today. I mean, you can give the heart of the message verbally. You know, you can give the directions to the treasure verbally if you're on a treasure hunt. But now we have a treasure map, of course. And

so he's still debating it. His agnostic intellect is still so this God stuff I can't get, you know? And then he says finally, well, we're hell. If I had cancer, I wouldn't quibble with a great surgeon in the sky. You know, I said, you know, it's like I said, if you got cancer, you're not. And these people are living and they're praying and doing spiritual practice. You're going to ask your doctor for their telephone or you want to talk to them.

So he says, OK, if there is a God, let him reveal himself and he has a classic white light experience, you know, which is not that common. I had actually something similar in in my first aid, meaning I haven't had a drink in over 33 years. So I call myself a real first edition level alcoholic. And

he said that, but the feeling got is I was a freeman. He's been relieved of the obsession and he never took another drink, you see. So this is his first, second and third step, and then he went through the steps with Ebby.

And a lot of people in the book, Thumper groups are always criticizing. They should have done it better. And, you know, you got depressed. And he should, if he'd gone through the book. But again, he would, you know, I'm not about to take Bill Wilson's inventory, you know, 'cause even though he was suffering from depression, everything

he built the service structure, he got a organized, he wrote the traditions, he published the 12 and 12. And he's done more service

and save more lives than probably anybody in the 20th century, including Mother Teresa. There's more people Live Today he's because of him than anybody else. He may have had defects. So there's, you know, there's some of the unauthorized biographies accusing them of all sorts of stuff, which is questionable too. It's a lot of, it's just hearsay. I've read them all. Believe me, I'm open. The fact that Bill Wilson wasn't a St. does not bother me one bit.

But you heard his. That's how he took his first three steps. You know, the food beats me down. I come in here, I see people

talking to talk and they're giving their messages of recovery. They've lost the weight, they're showing their pictures. I come to believe that this power might work for me too. And I make a decision. I want this thing. It's that simple. And then we last night we talked a little bit about four, 5-6 and seven. I wanted to mention just a little bit more and we're going to do 10/11/12. I'm wearing my 7th step T-shirt today. I don't know if you can see that it's got the seven step prayer.

And I mentioned that,

you know, the inventory is covering resentments, fears. We do a fear inventory even if it's not connected with the resentment. We make a list of people we harm even though it's not connected with resentment. We do a sex inventory, the financial inventory. These are some problems. I have a problem. Excuse me. These are some questions based on the book which I'm asking as I'm taking people through the sex inventory. Do you have sex problems?

Have you reviewed your conduct over the past? Do you realize you must earnestly pray for the right ideal, for guidance in each questionable situation, for sanity and strength to do the right thing? Because the book says my If my sexual behavior continues to harm others, I'm going to eat over it. Do I realize

that if you're not sorry and your conduct continues to harm others, I'm quite sure to overeat? Again, that's page 70, paragraph one, line 10. Do I realize these are facts out of our experience? OK

page 69, paragraph two, line 1:00. AM I willing to review my comms and ask God to help me write my sex ideal? Page 69, paragraph two. Like am I willing to subject each new relationship to this test? Is it selfish or not?

That's that's all you got to do when you're thinking about wow, is this good for me or not? Is it selfish or not? Am I just, you know, gratifying my own sex, sexual instincts, maybe possibly harming somebody else?

Financial wreckage Inventory Page 78, paragraph two Most compulsive overeaters own money. We do not dodge our creditors. Page 78 paragraph to line 11 Do I realize I must lose my fear of creditors no matter how far I have to go, for I'm liable to overeat if I'm afraid to face them. Financial records. Sexual wreckage.

Got to clean it up folks.

Page 70, paragraph two, line 4. Sex is very troublesome. Do I realize I must throw myself the harder into helping others? OK,

umm, if you've done this properly, these are called the considerations by the book Thumpers. They're they're basically the questions that the book leads me to. If you've done a thorough inventory, page 70, paragraph three, line one. Have I been thorough about my personal inventory and have I written down a lot

71 top paragraph line to? Am I convinced now that God can remove whatever self will has blocked me off from him?

That's an interesting consideration. When you do this inventory, are you really convinced that that God will remove this? You always hear people talking about I'm working on my defects today. That's not really the message of the big book, is it? The big book is that these things will be removed. And that's why I want to talk a little bit more about 6:00 and 7:00 today.

We don't work on defects. We go through the step process as a way of I'm submitting myself, my my defects, which the 12 and 12 clarifies is they're just instincts run amok.

You know, I'm afraid that I'll never meet the right girl. So I'm going to lie to this woman to impress her or I'm going to not tell her about who I really am or I'm going to, you know, pretend I got more money than I do or something or whatever I think is going to get. See these are instincts, fear driven instincts that will get me. I I'm afraid about money. So I lie on a resume when I'm applying for a job or, you know, I tell them I'm qualified to do stuff. I'm not really. These are fear driven instincts, you know, and when I submit this stuff to

process through my they, some of them will be removed. Notice it says God, I'm not willing. You have all me good and bad. Some of them. It's going to be the higher power that sorts this stuff out, you know, Now I can cooperate and try and do the contrary action. Remember that question I added on those resentment lists where I caused harm? What should I done instead? I took it right out of the big book from the sex inventory. That's an indication of cooperating with God. You know,

next time I'm going to try and Bay the traffic laws, you know,

I'm sick of paying amends to the DMV. So, um,

then you're ready for Step 5. Here's some considerations. Here's my third step and four step work solid so far. That's from the big book. Page 75. Is our work solid so far? Page 75. Have I omitted anything? Now, I told you I admitted a term paper, Amanda, on my first inventory. And really it's it twisted my whole professional working financial career.

OK, you, you want to know what a Balker looks like? You're looking at a Balker on my first inventory. You want to know what a Not a St. looks like?

You're looking at not a St. Took me 14 years to get cash register. Honest. OK,

but what does the book say? Like I said, if you just read the black words in the blue book, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. I beg of you, don't make the mistakes I made. That's why I'm here to deliver this message. You're only going to leave something off your inventory

'cause you're afraid of what your sponsors want to think or it'll you're afraid that it will get out

in public, or you're afraid of the amend that will have to be made from it. It's fear

that will block me and probably you too from from putting everything down on the inventory. So let's get honest about what's blocking me. It's fear. It's either what my sponsor will think of me or what other people think of me. If the secret is let out, what shouldn't happen? But people are fallible, so you got to be make yourself.

This is from the I think it's from the AA12 and 12 Step 5.

Only by discussing ourselves, holding back nothing, only by being willing to take advice and accept direction, could we set foot on the road to straight thinking, solid honesty, and genuine humility.

Page 72. Here's the ultimate consideration for your 5th step. Page 72, paragraph to line 9. Do I realize that if I skip this vital step, I may not overcome compulsive overeating? OK, so

then you got to

be prepared for a long talk.

Realize that some of these memories you're going to talk about maybe a nightmare that's Are you ready to pocket your pride? That's from Big Book, page 75. We pocket our pride and go to it, illuminating every twist of character, every dark cranny of the past that's in the book.

Page 74. Be careful about who you share it with. I hope you have faith in your sponsor.

Really good if they have book experience, if they've been around a while, if they have a solid reputation in the program.

Like I could tell anyone of you, you could go to Sherry M and do your work with her. You know, you'd be in solid hands or Richard or one of these guys who's been around and solid, but they don't have to have zillions of years. You just, you know, it's all right. I mean, I, I think it's all right to, you know, inquire about people or follow them around and be careful about who you're going to choose to be your sponsor. You know, they should have what you want, you know, but we got plenty of really good people around here that you can trust.

But the book says page 74

top paragraph line to have I thought well before I chose the person with whom to take this step. My suggestion is ask your higher power for guidance. My first sponsor was it was it was a train wreck. But I really didn't ask God for guidance on who to sponsor me. I just chose him because we had some minor thing really in common and you know, and he was the wrong guy. I don't resent him. I don't wake up thinking about him today. But today if I met him, I just call him a dry drink. You know, he doesn't, He's not, he wasn't book oriented,

you know, But there are plenty good solid people now. But be careful and perhaps your higher power for guidance. You know

paid 74 paragraph 2 lines of Do you realize it is important that he'd be able to keep a confidence. My first sponsor was a gossip

and he would talk with one sponsee about the other. And I called him on it. I said, well, Archie does so and so. No, you're telling me this. I mean, you know, and I don't want you telling my stuff to her. Oh, I won't. I won't, you know. But he did. He couldn't keep a confidence and he didn't want to give up the defect, you know. But but he's not. He wasn't a book guy, you know. I believe you should go stick close to the book and ask your higher power for guidance. And be careful.

It's important

page 74 line paragraph two line 7. Do I realize this is a consideration for your sponsee? Do you realize that is important that your sponsor be able to keep a confidence that he fully understand and approve or what of what we are driving at

now you guys been with me for a few sessions. Do you know what we're driving at in this process? What are we driving at

Can't we're removing the obstacles which block us from God. This is not group therapy. This is a spiritual process. So my first sponsor wasn't a book guy. You know, he had his opinions. I'm 17 years. Bill only had 4 1/2 years when he wrote this stuff from the this God's you know, he wasn't he was using kind of the program as a mass unsupervised group therapy movement support group. That's not what the books driving at this process that the original process. I call myself an originalist, of course

is about removing the obstacles which block you from God. So your sponsor should be very aware that you are on a life and death mission. That's a quote from the book and he should be honored by your confidence. That's a quote from the book and he better be a close mouth guy who knows what we're driving out here. If not, in my opinion, you got the wrong person. That's my opinion. Take what you want to leave the rest. And once again, if what if you're doing what your sponsor suggests and it's working for you, then don't worry about what I say. It's about what's working for you.

But I assume people are in this workshop listening to my pitch because you're kind of interested in this process. The original message and I can verify, I can vouch for this. Boy, it works.

What is the whole process here? This is page 72, paragraph one, line two. We are trying to get a new attitude, a new relationship with our Creator and discover the obstacles in our path. We have emitted certain defects. We have ascertained in a rough way what the trouble isn't. We are about to put our finger on the weak items in our personal inventory. Now these are about to be cast out. We're talking about step six and seven. We're doing an exorcism here. We're going to have our defects cast out by submitting to

spiritual process. It's not that we're working on. It's not like character building, you know, like the Boy Scouts or something. You know, we're about that. We're going through exorcism and what's the

And so you should ask yourself when you go home, if you look at the just a short paragraph or two for the 6th and 7th step in the book, you're asking yourself, paid 73 paragraph four, line one, have I been entirely honest with my sponsor? Page 75, paragraph two, line 2. Have I withheld anything?

Did I leave my term paper inventory? Amend off my first inventory answer? Yes. At some of these, we balked. You're looking at a balker. But I beg of you to be fearless and thorough. I beg of you don't make. I'm here to kind of prevent you guys from making some of the mistakes I made. You OK about picking a sponsor? What what this is all about and how to do this thing. OK, That's really why I'm here. I'm trying to help you guys

with no sense of compensation or reward, you know.

OK, so now we're we're reviewing there are proposals.

Page 75 of the big book. We asked if we've admitted anything. We're building an arch, which we walk a Freeman Bill likes. He likes the gardening metaphors. You know, his roots grass, the new soil and he loves the architectural metaphors in the book. We're the cornerstone is in place. This is the keystone of a recovery. We're building an arch. I don't know why he studied that engineering and finance and law, but he he loves gardening and architecture when it comes to writing metaphors.

But what you're doing is you're going home for an hour and you and you take your book down for yourself and review shelf and review what you've written. Now I know big book fanatics who literally will go home with their inventory

can put the book on the shelf just so they can take it down from the shelf. You know, I'm not kidding you, you know, and when I know a guy and isn't on the Internet, he's a he's a book guy. And I'm not saying he's a bad guy at all, but he makes his sponsees. He won't let him work with yellow legal plaids. He said you got to put it down on black and white. So they got to get black ink and search for a white legal pad. I'm not kidding you. That's their big book literal. They're found this to I'm not that extreme,

but I get what's going on here. You know, six and seven. We're really going to review what we've written, make sure we haven't omitted anything and ask ourselves these key questions. You see, these character defects are a reflection of self. Here's one of the most overlooked little passages in the book,

and it's on

page 64,

second paragraph down or the middle paragraph, whatever you want to call. We did exactly the same thing with our lives. We took stock honestly,

this is not where the inventory parts 1st. We search out the flaws in our makeup which caused our failure. Being convinced that self

manifests in varies various ways with what has defeated us, we considered its common manifestation. So this inventory process is a consideration of the manifestations of self. Then it starts with end, you know, end of paragraph, period. Capital R new paragraph resentments the number one offender. So in other words, we're looking at a manifestation of self. I'm looking on my resentment list

now. What's so what's in my list? Resentments. Fears,

sexual misbehavior, financial wreckage, harm I've done others, you know, character defects that are driving me nuts. Secrets, fears, guilts, resentments, dubious sexual behavior, and financial records. Right? These are manifestations of myself. As I said, if I'm angry, I'll collide with the other angry people. If I'm a control freak, I'll collide with control freaks. So actually I'm considering the manifestations myself

and the question is

do I still want this shit in my life? If I hold on to anger, I will continue to manifest angry bullies on my resentment list. If I am dishonest in my sexual relationships, I'll continue to attract these kind of women that spin my head around OK. If I'm dishonest in my financial affairs, I'll continue to manifest stores that I can't go into because I rip them off, or people I can't face

because I owe them money. So I'm considering manifestations of self here.

And that's what we're considering when we're reviewing this list carefully in an hour, you know, and reviewing what we've done and reading the book and reviewing our first five steps. So the basic realization is, do I want this shit in my life anymore? This is a manifestation of Roy running on Roy Power. This this inventory of resentments, financial records, sexual wreckage, people I can't face, you know,

my my age, when I was new, he was a speaker in Miami and a guy used to say,

do you have stomach jumpers? What the hell is that? Mike? If somebody walked in this room right now with your stomach jump because you knew you got bad energy with them, you know, usually that's an indication I own a man or somethings wrong. You know what I'm saying? So I'm looking at these stomach jumpers and it's a manifestation of Roy running on Roy power. OK, so the, the real question is, am I still paid 76? I'll go by the book question. I mean, my question is, do I want this shit from your life anymore? But that's

in the book, you know, here's what the book has. The book puts it let's let's use book language, page 76, paragraph one line 6:00. AM I still cleaning something I will not let go of. That's the restitution I will not make. Remember I reviewed them

our personal and am I still clinging to our pay 76 am I wanting to let them go all of them go if I'm not, I pray for the willingness for God's help so we're not going to work on defects. We're going to

the considerations

they that the book thumpers use on this section of the six or seven step. Do you realize you're not going to work on your character defects? Do you realize that OA is not a self help organization? Do you realize that I need to pray for God to take me and use me any way He can? That's what the seven step prayer is about. Okay, good and bad, you can have all of me. Do I realize that I'm praying for? What I'm praying for is the willingness, courage, and power to make the amends. That's why the 6th and seven step are so short in the book.

I mean, you can read about you can read in the 08/12 and 12 and a 12 and 12 bills development talk about a lifetime of character building and character building through suffering and and why are we willing to stop killing ourselves with alcohol? But why do we hold on the defects? It's brilliant work in the 12:00 and 12:00 and in the always 12 and 12 is really well written. I love you know I don't. I'm not a knocker of the 12 and twelves from either program,

but bait, huh.

Pardon me. Oh yeah. Now there was a literature committee at the time, so he accept editorship and they had to approve it. The group conscience was active. Both don't get don't get confused. OK Bill Wilson was the writer of the primary of drafts of both the big book and the a 12:00 and 12:00. But there the group conscious was heard when Jimmy Burwell said change it to God as you understand him, he changed it.

When Bill, when he said stop making you must do this, you do say we did this, we did. He changed it

put in suggested only you know they he listened to the group conscience. The traditions were at work before we had the traditions written there was a group conscience a loving God is expressed through the group conscience editing those first dress, but he was the primary writer of the first draft. Okay,

umm, so really the 6th and 7th step are so short because you're just praying for the willingness to make the amends because the, the, the will, the amends shows that you're willing to give up the defect. It's like I said, it took me 14 years to stop stealing in the program. And here's how I got to stop stealing. I paid back the money. That's what got me to stop stealing. That's why the book says a remorseful muttering of I'm sorry will not do.

I'll say I'm sorry to you one day, do the next same thing to him the next day, and then I'll say I'm sorry to him. That's not how we get rid of defects. We make the amends

so all that's why it's so short in the book. You're praying for consideration that do you want this shit in your life and my well, if you're willing to let it go, then you pray for the power in the seventh step to go right into eight and nine. You get it.

I

Let's see,

here's some more considerations from one. Have I looked at this list of names carefully because it holds the key to the future. OK, This is a manifestation of Roy. If I don't want this shit in my life again, I'm going to have to give up some of these defects and make some of these events. Have I realized it was my character defects and her actions that put this name on my list? OK,

I will. If I'm angry, I'll collide with the other angry nuts in the in the program, which is what my what happened to me basically when I, you know,

making amends for that help me let go to anger. God cast out the defect. I didn't work on it. Have I realized that I'm often very guilty of doing the very same thing to another person that I'm resenting on my list. See, that's that mirror effect. That's if you spot, you know. If you got can spot it, you got it. And all that you know

it goes back to the New Testament. Thou canst behold the Moat in thy neighbor's eye, but thou canst not behold the beam in thine own eye. That's from Jesus's teachings in the New Testament. See, this program came out of old spiritual principles, as old as the hill. Nothing new here. OK, that's what

Joe and Charlie, this is from their program for you book one of the, you know, I don't know which edition, so it's page 109. But on our resentment list, there was not a single person who did something painful to us before we did something painful to him or her.

In each case, we had done something to create a problem for that person first. Most of the time, if somebody's stepping on my toes, it's 'cause I did something to them first. It's that simple. And in this program, we have to stop playing God, judging them, especially if we've done the same thing they've done to us to somebody else. And we just have to make amends for what our side of the street.

If you're ready, then you say the seven step prayer which is on my shirt. My Creator. I'm not willing. It should have all me, good and bad. I pray to you. Now remove from me every single defective character which stays in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me straight

as I go out from here, grant me strength as I go out from here to do your bidding. What does that mean? What am I when I say as I go out from here? What am I into next?

8:00 and 9:00. Every step. I'm trying to get the power to do the next step. You get it. That's why six and seven are so short in the book. You're really saying, all right, am I willing to let this go? Because I don't want to recreate this kind of an asshole on my resentment list. I don't want to keep colliding with the other angry nuts or the other control freaks. I don't want to have to keep paying back money. OK,

so I'm paying for the strength to go into the amends and that shows and that's how these defects will be cast out by this process. The book keeps referring to this as a process.

The book thumpers like to talk about going through the work. The work I think is used once in the big book, but about seven times. They refer to this as this process. Each step flows into the other one. OK, I'm getting power from each step to move to the next one. And the and the step I'm doing confirms that I've really done the last one. See. So if I've gotten power from six and seven, I'll make my list.

So I've got a list, and now I got to be willing to make the amends. Right

now.

This is a key quote on page 77 at the top.

We're in. We ask for the power to go into our men's now, right? We're in 8-9 at the moment. We are trying to put our lives in order, but this is not an end in ourselves. Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be a maximum service to God and other people around us. What does that mean? It's one of the key quotes in the book. Yes, I don't want to wake up hating this guy. Yes, I don't want to feel guilty about the what I did to this woman. Yes, I don't want to have to dodge that department store because I rip them off.