The 16th annual Thailand Roundup in Pattaya, Thailand

Actually, we have a exactly right, We have a, we have a wonderful speaker

to for you now at this point. And I, I had a, the chance to have dinner with, with JS from LA last night and with another friend for the program. I, I'd never heard of Jay myself, but one of the gentlemen from the program,

he was so excited to meet, to meet Jay and he talked a lot about this very speaker tapes he had heard over the years. And,

and he was so excited. And, you know, we were talking about meditation and other things and I, and I was looking into Jay's eyes and I was, I could just see this, this spirituality that reminded me of my, my, I have a, a, a master

meditation master. It's been a monk for 30 years teaching meditation. And when I looked into his eyes, I, I could see the same look that I see in, in my meditation masters eyes. And, and so there's incredible sobriety in this man and I, and I understand he has an incredible story to share with us all. So

thank you very much for for coming to join us here at Jay. Please welcome to tonight's speaker, JS from Los Angeles.

Good evening, friends. My name is Jay Stennett and I'm an alcoholic and God's doing for me today what I couldn't do for myself because it's like 815 on a Saturday evening

in the holy city of Patia

and I haven't had anything to drink today, which is just absolutely remarkable.

Before I get rolling here, I'd like to thank Al for being so sweet to me, Tommy for being so understanding. And I, I really appreciate you guys and everything that you've done and, and the rest of the committee. And,

but before I start, I would like to speak to our hosts, our friends, that that we are so privileged to be in your country. And it's the first time that I've had the opportunity to be here. And I'm going to speak and I'm going to be using some language that may seem a little odd.

I'm going to talk about God a lot. And one of the lines that

I was taught when I came into Alcoholics Anonymous on the second day of May in 1979 was that

if you'd done as much for me as God had, I'd talk about you a lot too.

But when I use the word God, what I am referring to, I'm using a short word

and it can be a metaphor, it can be used a lot of different words can be substituted for it. The word good.

The word grace,

The word light,

the word truth.

When I say God,

I am referring to an experience that I had in Alcoholics Anonymous that is beyond words and is beyond understanding. And so when I use the word, please don't get offended, please don't try and box it into anything. Just kind of open up and kick back and relax because that's what this power is

that I found in Alcoholics Anonymous.

Now, I mentioned to you that I came to you on the second day of May in 1979. And although I found it necessary on a lot of occasions, I haven't taken the front drink. I haven't sniffed any glue or done any of those other things that I found to be so consoling. So if you're new with us in Alcoholics Anonymous,

my experience is that you don't ever have to drink.

You don't ever have to use again one day at a time.

And there is that just happens to be my story. There will be other people who get up whose story is different than that, and there is no good or bad to it. But this is my story is that suffering can end today

at this moment. And there are a lot of people in this meeting tonight, people that are sober, members of Alcoholics Anonymous, people who are members of the Al Anon family groups, and they may be crippled

by other things.

And I'm here to report

that these same 12 steps can be used to alleviate any suffering that you are are are experiencing.

And there are women and men that understand and have a language that can help you.

And this is a marvelous, marvelous thing that we've been given for fun and for free, this thing we call Alcoholics Anonymous. Now I did not grow up wanting to be an AA member.

My, my father's family is, are from the hills of Kentucky where they drink a lot and, and he was a good looking guy and he moved fast and, and my mother was a good looking gal and she needed to drink and she didn't.

And so the unrecovered Al Anon was the source of a lot of entertainment in our home.

And

and I'm a grateful alcoholic. And you know, well, what's a grateful alcoholic? Well, see, I haven't had anything to drink today.

And the disease of alcoholism

killed my stepmother, Marsha, Cirrhosis of the liver killed my brother-in-law, Douglas, cirrhosis of the liver. I took my father out years before he should have died. And and yet I walk a freeman. I walk a Freeman today. And if you're in Las Vegas and you go to Stairway 2 to the morning meeting, you will find my sister Regina,

who's sober 26 years. So not only does alcoholism run in my family,

but recovery runs in my family.

And then I've got another sibling. She's one of these girls. I don't know if you've met them. They date poorly

and they marry worse.

And if you meet my sister and her husband, you will say, oh, these poor homeless people.

And yet this is the choice that they've made. They say that there's no drugs or alcohol involved. And I have no experience to say that it is different than that. But they have,

they have no engagement at all with society. And I believe that that comes from alcoholism, the family disease.

Now, I was the short guy in school. I don't know if you remember the short guy. I can't throw the ball as far and I can't run as fast. But when I'm 12 years old, I find something I can do better than guys that are bigger and tougher and stronger than me.

Metabolize beverage alcohol.

Obviously this is a gift from God

and when one is gifted 1 pursues ones gift with enthusiasm.

Now I had no idea that what I am is I'm part of a class of people. It looks to be about 10 to 12% of the population that when we drink,

it does stuff to us that it doesn't do to 90% of the population. See, when I drink, you get fascinating.

When I drink, suddenly I can use my whole lung capacity.

When I drink, there's this band that goes around my neck and around my chest and it comes loose and I don't even know what's there. And suddenly I am free.

And I don't understand that that doesn't happen to most people.

Now, how do you find out? How do you figure out whether you're one of these people? These what we call an alcoholic synonymous, these allergic types? OK. When I put alcohol into me, it makes me go goofy.

Um, in fact, the definition of an allergy is an abnormal reaction to a substance I have no, I reacted abnormally for the 60s and most of the 70s. And, and so when I drink, it sets off this physical craving in me. And it's been around so long that the Chinese have a proverb about it.

And it goes that the man takes a drink

and then the drink takes a drink, and then the drink takes the man.

I guess I can sit down now. I mean, that's, that's the disease of alcoholism. I, I had no idea. And that when I drink, it sets off this thing that we call the phenomenon of craving it. I want more

and I don't know when it is that I'm going to stop.

Now. If you want to figure out whether you're alcoholic or not, take a look at what it is that you do for recreation, and then what happens with most of the population if they do the same thing. For example, by the time I'm 16 years old, my idea of a good time was to take a rack of Reds, 3 high-powered secondal and wash it down with a quart of Spinata wine.

In 90% of the population

the non allergic types, when they mix that stuff together they go into a coma

with me. I'm looking for car keys

and to make short term romantic commitments.

Which brings me to another manifestation of this allergy of the body that I have this alcoholism, which is that I suffer from a thing called blackouts. Now, what a blackout is medically is it is the brain's inability

to bridge the short term memory to the long term memory.

And what happens in my case is that I wake up with life forms with which I was unfamiliar that morning when I left the house.

Now

think about this.

This is something that I do frequently

and I think it's kind of part of the whole thing. Normal people, the non allergic types, they wake up with something they're not familiar with, they change their behavior with me. I'm just looking for more.

So I've got this allergy of the body that when I put alcohol in me, it sets off this craving. And then there's this obsession of the mind, and the mind goes like this. It goes.

We should be drinking.

We should be drinking now.

We're not drinking.

Look at all these lamps. Let's get the hell out of here. Let's have some fun. We're not having any fun here. Let's get the hell out now.

And it's the middle of third period and I'm a junior in high school.

And being an alcoholic male, I actually believe that if I think it, I got to do it.

Oh boy.

So I got this mind that's saying that we should be drinking. And it doesn't stop until I take the drink. And then once I take the drink, I start going and I don't know where I'm going to stop. Now, does this happen every time? No, but it happens frequently enough that I get in a lot of trouble. Now, Dan, did this ever happen to you?

You come home and they've changed the locks.

I missed the memo.

And So what do you do? You pound on the door and then you look down there and you see that the alcoholic luggage is waiting for you.

Two trash bags with all your worldly belongings, because the gals in here know that there's no guy that's worth more than two trash bags. The rest of the stuff just ends up on the lawn. And and so you knock on the door, right? And because obviously there's been some kind of a mistake.

And finally, after you wake a few neighbors up,

you say, you know, she opens the door and she's standing there and she's crying.

She's going. What the Hell's going on with you?

Where have you been?

Well, I've been busy.

Doing what?

And I can't. I've been busy

and it isn't until I come to you, till I come to Alcoholics Anonymous, till I learn about the phenomenon of craving, the obsession of the mind and the allergy of the body that I,

I learned that I'm not a bad guy getting what I deserve. What happened? We got off work. We went and had a few pops with the boys. We drank until the bars closed In California. It's, it's horrible, 2:00 in the morning. They stopped serving. It's, it's, it's horrible. And so, and then you have to go to an after hours place where you drink until 6:00 in the morning when you can get a real drink. And you go to a bar that opens at 6:00 AM and you get a little food and you push it around on the plate and then you go

get some of that Peruvian marching powder.

That little, little the non habit forming cocaine. Back in the 70s, cocaine was not addictive. We just did it all the time.

And, and so you do a little of that stuff and you keep drinking through the day and through the night. And I'm home because it's the only place that's open.

And she looks at you, and she goes. You knew my mother was coming for dinner.

You don't love me. You'd rather be drinking with your friends.

And I don't have any way of defending my behavior. I don't know that what happened is I took the front drink and I was off and running. Now did this happen all the time? No,

Now,

Tommy, I, I don't know if this ever happened to you. Did they ever look at you and say

no drinking at work

and no drinking before you come into work either?

Now I don't know about you guys, but I

hate to pay retail. I just hate it. So my idea of an ideal career path was to 10 bar, preferably during the day, so I was available for the evening's activities.

And so I say, they look at me and they say no drinking at work and no drinking before you come in. OK, fine, no problem. So I get off from work, I get off work, I go have a few pops, I get home early. Now, again, this isn't a strange place, California where they closed the bars early, But I, if I get home at 1:30 in the morning, half an hour before closing time, I'm home early,

right? And I and I and I lay down and, and, and try to get a little rest and,

and then I pop up about 2 1/2 hours later.

I'm going to talk a lot tonight about sponsorship,

and what sponsorship is, is it's a person who has real life experience, scar tissue

that's willing to share with you for fun and for free so you don't get so badly mangled.

And I had good sponsorship before I came into Alcoholics Anonymous. There was a guy at the bar who told me that if I put a cold beer next to my bed, that when I popped up because of the depressant alcohol had washed through me, popped up. If I drank that beer down, I'd be able to go back to sleep for another 2 1/2 hours.

Problem solution. I follow it. Things got better

anyway. So I, I, I, I do that, I get up, start getting ready for work, I have another couple of beers, get into the shower and it's a great shower. And I think you guys all know what a great shower is. It's a shower where there's room for the ashtray and the drink

and then I get ready to get on the bus to go to work. And, and in this day, these days, actually, I was in Seattle and this bus I'm the reason that I'm a man of the people that I'm concerned about the environment that I'm going green is the fact that the police have put my car in impound and I haven't been able to get it out. But of course, that's not what I'm just. So I take the bus and it's going down town because that's the only kind of bar that's going to hire me as a place downtown. And this was in Pioneer Square in those days. And

and I stop and I have another beer on the way in

and my tongue gets a little thick

and the owner looks at me and he goes,

what the hell is wrong with you?

Didn't we just have a conversation yesterday where you said that you were going to have anything to drink

before you came to work? And I look him dead in the eye and say I have not been drinking.

Because I know, like, you know, that beer is not drinking, right? It's a food,

right? I mean, the people who are trying to tell you that beer is drinking are the same people that are going to try and tell you that smoking marijuana is doing drugs. No, it's what you do in between drugs, right?

And I'm standing there in front of this guy and he says you'd rather drink than work for me. Get the hell out of here. Here's your check

and I say I haven't been drinking.

I could not differentiate the true from the false. I had drank away my ability

to know what really was going on. I literally thought

that I was not drinking.

And So what this, what I'm describing to you is the other part of this malady that I have, this alcoholism, which is the sole sickness

because I violate the trust of anybody, whoever put any in me.

Be be you, my family member, my employer, my girlfriend, at some point, my buddy, at some point you and I are going to have some kind of thing that we're going to do. We're going to have a good time.

We're going to meet

and I don't show up

and he said where were you? And I have no idea where I've been because I took the front drink.

One drinks too many in the thousands and I don't know this.

So I reached the point where I'm living in my car now. It was a Pinto

for you younger folks. It was a Smart car for Alcoholics

and I was just driving from town to town, stealing alcohol and, and, and gasoline

and I got a ride. I got arrested a bunch of times. And I'm not talking about arrested. I'm just talking about getting arrested for such high crimes as drunk driving,

drunk in public, drunken auto, public napping.

And I just, I couldn't put together three months without them saying get in the car.

I don't know why, but but and

and so my father was kind enough to bail me out and over a vodka rocks,

umm, he said. Do you think you have the disease

and the still small voice inside of Maine,

this still small voice that every woman and man that I've spoken to hears,

UMM said. Pay really close attention. He might pay for the lawyer.

And so I said I don't know. And he said I got a buddy I want you to talk to. And so I called this guy up and he said meet me at the Howard Johnsons in Culver City tomorrow morning at 7:30. He said don't have anything to drink. I don't smoke any of that crap either. How did he know?

And so I get to go vibrating in because I haven't had anything to drink yet. And and he starts talking about himself and talking about himself. He had problems in his life. He met Alcoholics Anonymous

problems, Alcoholics Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous no problems. And he's talking about himself and he's talking about himself and he's gone on for about 1/2 an hour and I, I just am disgusted. He's talking about not drinking. I am not interested

and finally he's not closing me so I figure well I'll prompt him. I said. Do I need psychiatric treatment?

Do I need religion?

And he looked at me and he said, I said do I need hospitalization? And he said, listen, trick.

He said a a treatment program will cost about $3000. If you or your family can get your hands on three grand, go out and drink that money up.

And when you're done, call Alcoholics Anonymous.

They do it for fun and for free.

And then he got up and he looked at me and he said he didn't say, oh, let me take your hand and take you down the road of sobriety. He said if you want it, you're going to have to go after it the way you got your drink and your drugs. He said it's in the white pages of the phone book column, kid, good luck. And he left. He didn't even pick up the tab.

And if I would have known, I would have reported him to New York, you know.

And so anyway,

what do you do? Well, I went home to my grandmother's house, my grandmother Marie, who just turned 101 on Valentine's Day. She still lives in her home in El Segundo and she sends her love to you

and she loves Alcoholics Anonymous. I got sober at her house and I I went home to her house and I poured myself a water glass full of Davies County Old Fashioned Kentucky Bergam 3 ice cubes.

I drank it down and I called a A and I ended up at a noon meeting at the old Manhattan Beach Club,

and I went vibrating in there up the steps. I walked into the clubhouse and the woman behind the coffee bar unit said, you upstairs? I didn't know I could say no. It was before newcomers had a union.

So I went upstairs and, and, and,

and everybody started talking at me. And I couldn't understand why were they talking at me. But see, when I've been drinking, you can tell that I spent a lot of money getting my hairstyle, like every six or nine months.

So I kind of look like the Sphinx,

and when I light my cigarettes, it looks like I've called in a napalm strike. You know it,

man. And the third guy that talked was a guy by the name of Butcher Joe Joe Hacker. You can always tell Butcher Joe,

I mean his last name literally is Hacker. And and he looked right through me and he talked about

when the family left, how he cried the big crocodile tears. And inside he's going, yes, now we can drink and nobody is going to bother us.

I understood that

and he talked about knowing just how deeply to cut himself so that they would have to take him to hospital

to get stitches

and he could get the drink that he needed along the way.

And he looked right through me and he said you don't ever have to feel the way that you feel about yourself ever again

if you're willing to do the things that I've done.

And I believed him.

I believed him.

How did he know?

How did he know?

I'm the kind of guy that if I run out of money,

I know how to go into a bar and set up a bet with the bartender and I will eat a beer glass

so that I can get enough money to keep drinking.

And I haven't had to mutilate myself in over 31 years since that man said to me, you don't ever have to feel the way that you felt about you feel about yourself ever again. And that's the reason that I came here, was just to say that

that no matter where you are on the path,

we're here,

we're safe,

the fight's over.

This could be a good time.

And the meeting went around and the whole, you know, I mean, people were talking, they were talking about their day.

They were conscious that there was an alcoholic withdrawing from alcohol in the meeting. And so they were talking about powerlessness. They were talking about the front drink, all that stuff. And, and, and like, Joyce had just gotten let out of the nut house and she'd come to the noon meeting instead of going to the Tavern. And everyone was thrilled.

And at the end of that meeting,

something miraculous happened.

There were four guys that were going down to the Strand

to play cards and watch girls go by on roller skates,

and they invited the Newman along his entertainment

and in that 2 1/2 hours they explained the program of Alcoholics Anonymous to me.

They said this is a a kid. We don't use no dope here. I was horrified. I don't think I would have gone to the meeting. But at that meeting, because people have been sharing about the disease of alcoholism, I gotten that I was powerless over alcohol. Now, when I saw the steps, it was not my language. When I saw the tradition, it was not my language. But I understood that these people had the problem I had

and they had a way out.

And just like any society, you're going to join any group of people, they have a language of their own and you got to learn their language. And so I started to get this a, a thing down and they said to me,

we don't drink,

we don't use, we don't go with girls who do

what an order. I can't go through with it.

But they I'd gotten at that first meeting that it was the front drink and they explained to me that if I smoked that medicinal marijuana, that sooner or later I was going to need to cut the cotton mouth. I was going to have to, you know, Pepsi wasn't going to do it. I was going to need to drink a beer,

and if I was doing that cocaine, I need a double Bombay on the rocks with A twist just to take the edge off. That's not drinking, it's just taking. They said that was drinking. And if you're being spiritual and dropping a little acid, you need a gallon of wine just to settle through the experience.

They said that was drinking. Who knew?

I didn't. I thought it was just settling through the experience, but they said in the doctor's opinion. In the book Alcoholics Anonymous, Silkworth talks about non alcoholic beer. You know why it's called non alcoholic beer? Because it's not for Alcoholics,

it has alcohol in it. And in the doctor's opinion, Silkworm says

for these allergic types, Moi,

the only therapy that we have

is abstinence from alcohol in any form whatsoever.

Doesn't give like little percentages.

You know,

They explained to me that if I had a little cough and I went to the pharmacy, if the cough syrup was sold with a shot glass on it, it probably had alcohol in it.

You know, real practical stuff. Who knew?

And they explained to me about staying away from the front drink,

about not using anything that would lead me to that front drink, and that if I did that,

I could stay sober. And they told me something and I didn't believe him. They said this is the last time you ever have to withdraw from alcohol.

No, not really.

And they told me that the obsession of the mind that screaming in my head would leave. And I looked at it and I nodded my head and I went. You don't have a clue what you're talking about. It's always been with me.

They were right, I was wrong. I didn't know. I didn't know what was possible.

And so I went home that night, you know, and I, and, and the next night and I almost drank. I came in on a Wednesday and on on Friday night I almost drank. I I was on my way to the Stickenstein.

I I wasn't going there to drink my joy. I was just going to find a woman who understands,

and along the way, the miracle of Alcoholics Anonymous happened for me. This little voice said

Turn the car around. This is not a good idea.

And for the first time in my life, I actually listened to the voice before I was just blew past it because it just sounded like somebody was trying to limit the amount of fun I was going to have. And I turned the car around and I went back to the Alano Club and I talked to this guy Larry, and he and he got me a copy of the Big Book and I went home with it. I didn't want to get the Big Book too early 'cause I didn't want to look like I was just coming from Bible study.

And so I go home and I'm, I'm, I'm not sleeping yet, you know, it's only day three and I'm. So I'm smoking and sweating and walking and smoking and sweating and walking and and now I'm reading and

and I got hooked. And the Doctor's Opinion, where Silkwood talks about the sense of ease and comfort that comes from having a few drinks.

Now, that's not the language that I would use. The language I'd use is remember when the third one had stayed down

and you can light your own cigarette

and your lungs work all the way.

How did he know?

How did he know? And I, and I kept reading, reading and, and you know, I was not interested in Bill's story in that World War and that stock market crash. I mean, these cyclical things, they just happened and, and I completely missed it. On page 13, the entire program of Alcoholics Anonymous is there in 4-4 paragraphs. Completely missed it 'cause I didn't know what I was looking for,

but I got into, you know, there is a solution and more about alcoholism and

and then there's this. We agnostics

and if you're withdrawing from alcohol, it's written really elegantly.

And it's about 4:30 in the morning and I'm, you know, on pack four of Marlboro hundreds. And, and I'm, and I'm reading this thing and, and at the end there's a story and it's, it's a guy by the name of Fitz Mayo's story, the preacher's son. And, and he has this awful dilemma. He's just a bad, bad drunk. And he's been exposed to these people and they've got a spiritual solution. And he's from a religious

family and he knows what kind of phonies they are. And he's lost all the money in the stock market crash and the family hates him. And he just is having a horrible time and,

and all of a sudden this voice comes through

and the voice says, who are you

to say that there is no God?

And this guy gets down on his knees and he says a prayer and he has a tremendous experience. Never drank again, never drank again.

And I understood that.

And so I did. I, I, I did the same thing. I got down on my knees and I said my prayer. And my prayer was, I don't know, from Jesus or Buddha. I don't know the Talmud, the Torah, the Upanishads. Just please get me the top. I will do whatever these dried up old geeks say to do. Just please help me not to drink. And I believe at that moment I completed the third step of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. That prayer was perfect.

I'm with you tonight.

I went down to the Illinois club the next day,

had a horrible experience that I'll talk about tomorrow. It terrified me so much. I got a sponsor

and, and I started out on this thing and,

and I will never ever I'm an active AA member. I get to I, I, I, I get to my wife is, is sober 21 years. By the way, I send my, my wife Adele sends her greetings to you. She's she's sober 21 years. She she wasn't able to come with, but her, her sponsee Rose is here, which is a wonderful thing. And Rose is here is a working in Bangkok and it's just fabulous to have her here.

And

anyway,

I got this sponsor thing

and I will never be able to repay he and his Al Anon wife

for the kindness that they showed me those few first few weeks. They literally saved my life. They literally saved my wife. I would show up on my sponsors doorstep sometimes at 3:00 in the afternoon, baffled as to how I could not drink

through the rest of the day. And his wife would open the door,

his Al Anon wife, and she would put a couple pot of coffee on and let me sit there and vibrate until my sponsor got home.

That's love,

that service.

That's this thing that I know is the family recovery from alcoholism.

I was reading the big book unsupervised. You could do that in the 70s.

I had a few weeks sober and I ran to my sponsor. I read in, in chapter 5 where if you don't do an inventory, you might drink. And I ran to my sponsor said, I'm going to drink. And he said, well, what? No, you're not. And he said, I said, well, it says here you got to do an inventory. And I haven't done an inventory yet. I'm going to drink. And he goes, oh, no problem. And he and a buddy who were there, they told a couple just really disgusting stories about themselves and.

Then he gave me my four step guide piece of paper with three lines in it

and he said OK kid here's the 4th step prayer secret four step prayer.

God, I don't know what I'm doing. Help me, please.

And he said then I want you to go home. I want you to sit down at the kitchen table. I want you to get really jacked up on coffee.

This was before Starbucks, so it took a while to ramp up.

And he said, I want you to look at the door of the kitchen.

They said, I want you to think of every place you lived

and the people that you lived with and just think about them walking through the door

and if your stomach could tighten up, write that person's name down. And then you got three sentences as to why. Nobody's life is that interesting, kid.

And and then he said, I want you to write down, you know, the sexual weirdness. We've all got it. It's no big deal, he said. I want you to write down what you're afraid of. Her. Her mother,

her sister, you know, Los Angeles County sheriff's now there's this, there's this thing, you know, it's, it's, it's very, very odd. There are people that actually say that the inventory, the 4th step, is difficult,

that the program of Alcoholics Anonymous is hard.

Poppycock.

Hard is stealing money from your grandmother.

Hard is lying to your kids. Hard is breaking your mother's heart. Hard is waking up one more time and not knowing how it is that I'm going to put the money together to get a drink. And where the hell am I anyway?

There is nothing difficult about going home and writing a list of who you hate. Every alcoholic worth their salt does that every night anyway.

I mean, it's not hard.

It took me about 3 1/2 hours. Was it a fuse and thorough moral inventory using all four columns? No, it was the greatest hits.

But that first inventory, that's what needs to be on there. It's the stuff. And everybody in this room knows what I'm talking about in their life today. It's the stuff that when your head hits the pillow, that it goes around and around and around. That's what needs to be on there

where Alcoholics were not that deep.

I mean, the reason that I think that alcoholism is more a disease today than I did 31 years ago is that I've heard a lot of inventories.

They're all the same. I mean, we're alcoholic. Males were just not that creative.

I mean, there's always so much stuff we can do. I mean, some are a little more flamboyant than others, but I mean, basically it's the same problems and

that, Sam Shoemaker, who is Bill Wilson's spiritual mentor, said there's only one sin. Only one? Yeah, there's only one sin

that's thinking that I'm different.

We're human beings.

We happen to be human beings that suffer from the disease of alcoholism, human beings that have been given the gift of addiction.

And we all get sick the same way and we all can recover in the same fashion.

So it took me about 3 1/2 hours. He came over, we, we read the, I read it to him. We said a couple silly prayers and we burned it.

How could you do that?

But this stuff was pretty, you know, I knew who was there and I see sent me off to start making amends. I had 23 days sober. I'm a fully vested member of Alcoholics Anonymous.

This idea that we have to do intense work is interesting,

but it ain't what the guys did that started this thing.

They were out working with others now and I was fortunate enough to come into an alcoholic synonymous that has the same gift that you have in this country,

which is people that are suffering, that want to get well and you can find them and they're accessible.

And we, I started going out on 12 step calls when I was 27 days sober. The first guy asked me to sponsor him.

I called my sponsor up. I said what do I say? He said you say yes.

I said, really,

He said. Jay,

if they're sick enough to ask you for help,

you cannot hurt them.

There is nothing

that any person could do that is trying to help an alcoholic recover that is even remotely as injurious as what an alcoholic thinking themselves will do.

You can't hurt them.

If God sends them to you,

you can't hurt them.

This silly Facebook thing. I hadn't seen that guy in 25 years

and I got a thing last year that said is this my sponsor?

It's not me,

it's not you. It's the power.

It's the power. We don't have to worry about it.

All we have to do is be willing.

Everybody

in this room there is somebody who you are destined to save.

Your story

will lead them out of the gates of insanity and death.

If you're here,

if you're informed,

if you're just willing to help,

and I was willing to help. And I, you know, I've set off on this, on this thing and I, and I, and I started doing all kinds of stuff within Alcoholics Anonymous, but the most important thing I did was I got into paying the money back.

The spiritual power comes from a men's. It does not come from some meditative practice, although it's really helpful.

You know, I mean, believe it or not, there are parts of the world where people actually think that meditation is extra credit, but it's not part of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous or I'm not good at it. Well, were you good at not drinking? I wasn't. But anyway, I digress. So I'm a

I'm a few weeks sober or a few more unsubber and I go and visit my grandmother Alice. Alice had taught me how to tend bar. I ordered just a little bit of money

and when I visited her and I took some money and always take some money. They've seen your intentions before,

I said. Grandmother, here's some money.