The Hope and Serenity monthly speaker meeting in Sacramento, CA

Now it is my great pleasure to introduce our speaker for this evening, Dave W from
Fair Oaks. I was going to write that down too.
Hi, everybody. I'm alcoholic
and
this thing's moving around a little bit. I guess it'll hold on how we doing today?
I don't think so.
We're getting up up here,
OK?
No, everybody, we got some water.
We got it just right,
cooling down a little bit in here. Yeah, I think that's great. The air came back on it right then. I was thinking we're going to get meltdown tonight, but
I appreciate the privilege of being able to share it tonight. It's nice to see. We got a full house here today. We got quite a few people out in Texas right now and they had a wonderful meeting tonight. And for those of you are new, we we got an international going right now and there's probably somewhere in the neighborhood of over 60,000 people in a stadium that they're just wrapping up just about now in San Antonio. So Alcoholics Anonymous definitely works
and it's a phenomenal thing, but it is amazing and I've always thought this it Alcoholics Anonymous is basically a retail, not a wholesale program. This is nice to share from the podium, but the real action, the thing that seems to work the best, is when one alcoholic reaches out to another and
something happens. It's magical and
I have to be a little careful. I do some things. We talk a little bit once in a while and sometimes it's so easy to get things way, way out of proportion. I'm right of a guy down South. I, I talked about this story a lot of times. It helps me. I don't know if it's any good for you, but this guy did a lot of talking down South and he got kind of wrapped up with his ability and his spiel. And he got asked to go out and do the one of these deals where it was out in the country and it was one of those where they give you the directions where you go
down 3 miles where they have the broken barbed wire fence. And I got the
mailbox hanging on the left side of the tree and, and then there's a big barn with a crow painted on the side. And, and he gets there and there's a barn opened up and there's hay all over the floor, nice and smooth and a couple of bales set up in rows. And it looks inside. There's this one little guy setting up the coffee machine over on the side and that's it. And a being that he's a fairly substantial speaker and is at least in his own mind, he's waiting for the crowd to show up. And,
and it gets closer and closer to the meeting time. And
he finally walks over to the little guy that's making the coffee. And he says, he says, I don't know what to do. He says, it looks like it's just you and me. I don't know what we should do. And the guy looks up at him and he says, well, I don't know much. I'm just a farmer and I haven't been very much educated. But if I went out to the North 40 to feed my cows and only one showed up, I wouldn't let her go home hungry. And so the guy took that as his cue and he proceeded to get up to the podium and talk for an hour and 57 minutes,
this little guy sitting on a Bale of hay watching him attentively.
And at the end of the meeting, he claps and they they start packing everything up. You know, they pack up the coffee pot and everything like that. And he couldn't help it was driving him crazy. So finally on the way out the door, he said, he says, hey, I got to ask you. He says, how did it go tonight? And he said
I need this. He says so. So basically he says to the guy, he says how did it go? And he says, he says, well, I don't know much. I'm just a farmer. I've not been educated much at all. And he says, but if I went out to the North 40 and only to feed my cows and only one showed up, I wouldn't damp the whole damn load on her, you know?
So unless we take ourselves too seriously,
I want to thank the committee. We had a great dinner tonight, met some new friends. We had a wonderful conversation, cover all balling and crying. And and it's how this works. I mean, it's amazing when you find new people and you connect and you realize the commonality and you're like that. We were having a serious discussion. I was fortunate. Today was an interesting day. I mean, I don't know about you, I drank this way, but I'm sober this way, but started off early this morning. A guy was on the front porch and
we started talking and then a couple of other guys called and I said, well, why don't we all meet at my place about 1:00 and, and it was just barely enough time to get changed and go out to dinner with the with the crew today. But it's been a full day, and I don't know about them, but I'm treated, you know? And
you know, I drank for a reason. I came to Alcoholics Anonymous, and I wasn't sure why I was here at first. I remember my first. We were talking about that today. My first
John, was about 3 weeks sober and honest to God, we're we're going up. We found out somebody knew that there was a, a National Convention up in Canada and it was in Vancouver and that seemed like a good idea. So we took off on our cars and we're driving up and we pull off in somewhere in Medford, OR and somebody had a is back in the days when everything was printed.
So they had a printed directory, a world directory of members of Alcoholics and us. We called somebody up in the, in the area of Medford. They were so tickled that we called. I remember, I never, it was just my first introduction to Alcoholics Anonymous. But these, these ladies took out their best China and served as coffee, called all their neighbors that were a member of our organization. They brought them over to the house and they wouldn't let us leave. They just wouldn't let us leave.
They were, they had a speaker meeting going that night and and they wanted us to go to the speaker meeting. And I'm kind of,
you know, new at this, but I've been around for a while. I'm a keen study of what's going on in a A and people talking about the basis of the people say things like, you know, you're really self-centered. You're going to think everything is about you. And I'm kind of going, OK, I got that one and on and on and on. And so we're at this meeting that night and they talk about identification and Alcoholics Anonymous. And here we are in the middle of the sticks in Medford. I'm a city guy
and we're out with the, the local population
and this guy is at the podium and he's doing a little speaker meeting. It's not a big one, but it's big enough. And we're, we're back as far as we could get in the back row out there trying to hide out. I got my two buddies with me and the guy is talking from the podium and how he's, he's really different. I mean, this guy did 25 years in the pen and he's talking about having a, a behavioral disorder so bad that even when he's in the penitentiary, most of that 25 years he did in solitary confinement. He couldn't get along with the inmates, could not get along with them.
Absolutely upside down crazy. And he was talking about what had happened to him and how he was able to come back out, have a career being a different life. But about this period of time when he was in that prison and his attitude and his, his approach to life and how, how upside down it was. And periodically during that pitch, he would look out there and he would say, you understand what I'm talking about. And at first I'm going, that's it. That's what they told me. You know, you know, I'm, you know, it looks like he's looking at me, but that's, you know, they give me the Q and AA that has nothing to do with me.
And he keeps talking. And pretty soon one of my friends hits me in the he's elbowing me in the rib cage and he goes, do you know that guy? And I said no, you know, and it goes a little further on and I'm thinking this is crazy. And pretty soon my other friend bumps me and he says, you got to know that guy. He's he's looking at you and
and I've been in some pretty good jams, but I managed to squeeze out of doing long term time and
and at the end of the meeting, that guy walks right up to me, looks me right in the eyes and he says, you know exactly what I'm talking about, don't you? And I did, you know. I did.
And I didn't know nothing about being in the joint, but I knew about absolute, bone chilling solitary confinement, you know, in a crowded room by the way, you know,
of my life. I, you know, and lifestyle was living the things like I did. Yeah. You know, it got it long since outgrown that warmth and connection. And this guy was talking from the heart. And I began to understand what you people were talking about, about identification and about being able to hear yourself in another person's story out of context, perhaps from the way you're raised. But it went in and all of a sudden, a, a started to have some credibility, you see. Yeah.
And another thing that they said was about why I drank. I, I really thought I liked the taste of Jack Daniels. I really did. I mean, I was absolutely convinced I did. And, and I did, you know, but what I'm saying is I like lemonade too. And I never went out at 3:00 in the morning on a stormy night looking for lemon.
So
it's easy to get distorted about what we like and what we don't like, you know? And
what I'm getting at is it said that an alcoholic like me drinks essentially because I like the effect produced by alcohol. And I think that's a pretty long sentence, you know? And I couldn't tie that together too well until I looked at that for a while and I began to look at what was going on in my life. And earlier on, I think I was all of the age, about eight or nine. I talked about this one a lot but I was already upside down and sideways in life
and confused and I don't know what the hell is going wrong with me. My parents had shipped me out
to these experts. It kind of feels lousy when you're when you're shipped out to an office and everybody kind of says take care of them, you know, and send him back when he's better. And they were looking at me and they'd always look at you with this enthusiastic look. I don't know if you've ever been treated by professionals, but they, it's like they're rubbing their hand and they go home. Boy, we got one and we, they've got a long list of their credentials. And I'm not saying there's probably a lot of people that do a good job in that, but I've been through this before and it's like they got a long list of credentials on what they're going to do
and they're just happy as hell. But they got, you know, they got a victim to work on and,
and, and you go back the first week and then the 2nd, about the third week, you can see that they're puzzled and they're kind of looking at you and they've lost their confidence and they're trying to figure out what the hell we got here, you know,
so I was losing my confidence real rapidly in experts being able to figure out what was wrong with me. And I was precocious and, and sideways as far back as I can remember. And I went in for an operation. It just so happened I developed a tumor and they thought it would be serious. So they were going to have it surgically removed. And I remember going to the hospital
and I, I went into the hospital, I didn't like, I was pretty young. I didn't like staying overnight somewhere else like that with these strangers. But anyway, they came in the middle of the night, they put me on a Gurney and they took me down to a room and it was a well lit room. It was really bright and I was scared to death. I just remember thinking, what in the hell are they going to do next? And all of a sudden they took this thing out that looked like a Mr. Coffee filter and they put it over my face
and I thought, what in the hell is that? And then they started to drip something on that,
and it was the most phenomenal thing I'd ever come in contact with my life. Up until that point in time, I had never come into contact. I levitated up off that table and went to another room that they said wasn't there. But the point I'm getting there
is that I had never been in an experience like that. It was like everything changed in my consciousness. The temperature changed just like tonight. It also in the room got cooler. You know,
the I was I, I didn't know what fear was because I lived in it every day
and all of a sudden I was in the absence of it. It would be like being in downtown New York at rush hour and suddenly not being able to hear any of the cars. It was the strangest feeling it ever had. It was absolutely quiet and it was peaceful and I didn't know what that was. Those demons had stopped yelling at me already. I hadn't had a drink yet, by the way.
You know, we'll talk about that later. But what I'm getting at is I now had been under the influence. I didn't know it. And what they did is they started to pull me back from that room because they were finished downstairs and I wasn't, I didn't want to come. I was, I was going to stay in the mezzanine and
and they yanked and they yanked and I came down. I got sick as a dog, which is what you do when you come in contact with that kind of thing. But I found out,
I guess I say this a lot because I would think it was pretty serious what they were doing, and you'd think I'd be real concerned about what the prognosis was because they'd cut some stuff out of me
and I wasn't. I was so fascinated with what happened in that room that I only wanted to know one thing. What did they put on that mask?
And I put two and two together within about two years and I was off to the race track. I found out that was a derivative of alcohol and it was the medicine that I had never found up until that point in time. And it fixed me as best as I know how. I mean, it would literally made it a world that I could sit back into and I stopped dropping out of school. I was out of school for periods of time, but it got me back to integrate back into life and anything that can change a room that drastically that quickly and that much I was already incapable of.
It was I needed that to exist. And that's what it said. It said that I drink for the effect, and the effect is prior to that, that coming in contact with that mask, I was experiencing already the symptoms of alcoholism. I was feeling restless, irritable, and discontent. That's mine. If you take a clock on a pendulum and you look at that thing and you just let it wind down, I don't know, maybe I'm guessing. I don't know what it's like to be normal, but I think most normal people, when they get right in the middle and all wound down, they're peaceful.
I'm not. I'm actually restless, irritable, discontent at my normal state of being. That's the way I'm wired. When I exert myself with some of the things you've taught me here, I get out to the other extremes where I can feel peaceful.
But if I don't keep widening that clock, I'll come right back down to my normal state of being. And I don't think anything's changed in all the years since I came here, you know,
but what I'm here to tell you is I made a passion of going with my medicine and I, and I followed it with everything I could. I, I can't imagine anybody, I don't know if there's anybody in here that just gave up because they got tired or something like that. I didn't, I,
I made a pact with myself. I studied my parents. They were obviously didn't follow their own goals very well. And so I, I figured out where they had made mistakes and I decided that I wouldn't make the mistakes I made. And I and I did everything I could and I moved around in life and I got places and I needed to go.
And I woke up many, many years later in a place that I just, I pinched myself. I basically had become what you'd call very successfully materially. I had a very well run business. I had lots of friends, you know. But what I'm trying to say is I wasn't sleeping under the bridge, you know, and things were getting better supposedly on the outside, but something was going on. I would get these spells that the medicine was starting to get intermittent
and it would come and go. It would, it would flame out once in a while and and I would get more restless inside. So it take a little bit more of the medicine to get me back to the place where I first started. And I kept going. I just kept pushing and, and striving to accomplish and, and produce things in life. I was raised from the right from the saddle as a, as a kid that if you want something and you're willing to work hard for it, it's yours for the work, you know, so I wasn't the one that thought that you sleep in and expect everything to come to you. It was just like
hard and life will open up to you. And that was my experience. And the more it opened up and the more it produced, the emptier I got. And it was the strangest feeling. I remember I met Larry years ago and I got to Alcoholics Anonymous. I had enough to feed several neighborhoods and all these things, people that still wanted to talk to me. And I had become completely empty. And I don't know what the hell was wrong with me. It's a special kind of hell when you've had more good fortune than anybody, you know, and it's not enough to make you feel full, you know?
And I didn't know what the hell was wrong with me, you know? I was laying on couches talking to people and I couldn't get rid of this hole, this empty hole that was stuck in the middle of me. No matter how much I achieved, no matter how many times I got an award again, something like that, I felt like appealed zero. And I didn't know what the hell was wrong, you know? So when you got a problem like that, you just drink a little more, you know,
And as I did it, people started to get cranky. I don't know about you, but I people would at that point in the life. It's amazing how your best friends start getting real cranky and baking out and seems like everybody's got PMS or something like that,
but they lose their sense of humor, you know? And so we started to have to narrow our lifestyle a little bit. People wouldn't ask us back, you know, and things kept happening like that over and over and over again. And
but I was dedicated,
and
you really can't be much of A drunk if you're willing to let a few things like that distract you. So I kept drinking.
In fact, towards the end of this, it's no person. I mean, there's probably people in the trades like that. But just to show you, the last year before I sobered up, the last year I can remember being on the board of directors for a major detox facility and I kept thinking, don't pass out in the meeting, it's not going to look good. It was terrible. I mean, it was like a wolf in the chicken house and I was living a life that was totally a lie,
totally back as we're the double life in spades. You know, I had a poor sick father and I was a Golden Boy
and they had asked me to join the board because of my illustrious career in the outside world and, and the fact that I took concern on this pitiful drunk. And here we got one of the live wires right there in the, in the, in the middle of the whole thing, you see, and everything in my life was going to hell in a handbasket. I, I can remember I couldn't drive anymore. I would have these terrible things. I had a business and people sought after some of the things I was doing and it was embarrassing. I'd be right at the point where I was ready to close the sale and I'd lose consciousness.
And that's really hard to close one when you're on the ground when you wake up, you know,
people don't want to sign the contract. You head out and already to sign, you know, and I, I decided what most Alcoholics do I, you know, I've been educated, I've got a high IQ. So I did the homework, man. And I looked at it and I arrived at this conclusion that I had a brain tumor. And
so my next step was to buy a lot of medical insurance to take care of my family and my, you know, in my hereafter. So I, I was doing the responsible thing. I was treating what I had diagnosed was wrong with me and keeping it under the covers because if you come clean on that, you're not going to be able to buy any more insurance. And I was treating my brain tumor and,
and passing out and things like that were becoming regular habitual habits. And we've moved towards the end we've moved to, Oh my God, I thought we'd died and gone to heaven. We moved into a neighborhood. There was people just like me. There were people that were supposedly successful people all over town. We were all living in the same neighborhood. We all seem to like to have a little party once in a while during the week. And everybody had a standing deal where if you ran out, you come over to our place and use whatever stock we got. So it was perfect, you know,
it was like, I don't know, it was just, it was really something and, and we ran hard in there and that's where I really started to crash and burn. And one of the guys down at the end of the street was in the car business and he's very successful with that himself and he ran with me for a long time and so I knew who he was. If you live much, I got traveled around the world and stuff like that. You could take one of us, put a blindfold on and spin us around in circles and drop me in a foreign country and within 3 minutes I'd find another alcoholic. I just know how to.
Locate my own kind and how to have fun and find things that are going on. And so we, he was like me and I knew he was one of us and he started showing up at our parties with a glass of 7UP
and it was a dam missing diversity. And not really because we, you do that, you get in trouble and you gotta, you know, you gotta swear off for a few days. But what I'm trying to say is he showed up the next weekend with a glass of 7UP, then the following weekend and the following week and it was driving me crazy. It really was. I just kept thinking, how long can he do this? I mean, if it was somebody else doing that, it wouldn't have been a big deal. But I've never seen somebody drink with that much passion
that can go with 7UP that long. And I was looking, I kind of thought he had a trick. So I'd be talking to you,
but I'd be listening over here because I was trying to figure out what his secret was and he was demonstrating that the virtual impossible to me. I had never seen that before. It was he was doing something that a drunk can't do and he was going one day at a time without a drink. And it was like he was screaming at me. And mind you, this guy never once ever said, Hey, David, you want to look at your drinking? He never said a word to me and it was like he was screaming at me. So you, whoever you are out there, you know, especially of you that been around a little while or some of you that knew what I'm saying is people
watching whether you think they are or not.
Yeah. And what we do is very, very important. You know, there's no fine free time in this life
and you know what I do what you do and everything like that is what you do. It's not the this way or that way, but it's going to have an effect. You know, I, my thing was, I thought I was the only one that I ever affected and I missed that by 1,000,000 miles. But what I'm getting is that guy was the loudest message of Alcoholics Anonymous I ever heard. And he never once said a word to me until the end came. I, I got, I went to a party. It was a Valentine's Day party. It was February 13th
in 1983 and I had, I had absolutely busted. It was all the stuff had gone out of the bottle. I could not get anything to feed me anymore. If I could have stayed out in my field another moment, I would have absolutely would have. I had no desire to quit drinking or whatnot. I just couldn't get anything more out of the bottle. It had gone flat
and the more I drank, the more pushed me down.
So I don't understand any other way. It's just that was my experience. Is that it? It had to stop working for me. And I went to him and I had one of those nights where my tongue wouldn't work and I couldn't talk. And I walked up to him and I was trying to Babble something out and he he intuitively knew what was going on. He just said, Dave, he said don't even try to talk to me right now. He said just go home and get some sleep and call me in the morning. And in the morning he called, I called and we talked and he got me to your people, you know,
and it blew me away what was going on. I First off, I thought I'd come in the wrong room. You know, people were laughing and carrying on and seemed to be happy. And I thought there was nothing freaking funny about medicine, of the medicine going away. That was not funny. I had not coped on the face of this planet for years. And the people be, you know, be like, be like going into insulin shock and saying there's no more insulin on the face of the planet. I mean, that was not a happy scene. And there was nothing to be laughing about. And people were.
But I I had enough trouble going on that I couldn't live on the inside of the door. So I stayed and listened to this nonsense is what it sounded like to me,
as you obviously didn't have the same problem I do. And I stayed long enough to start to hear few things, probably the biggest thing that happened to me. And it without that thing happening, nothing else could have happened. Nothing else could happen. But we ran around. I got involved with a guy, one of the guys that was the beginning of this group over here with you guys
was one of those first six people. He set up a little compound up in Del Paso Heights. This was a High Roller guy, big real estate guy, big shot from Santa Clara and he decided to become the Pope of Greenwich Village in Sacramento. I mean, he basically took vows of poverty. He set up a shop and all he did was treat St. People and did a little work out at the hospitals, actually worked with my old man in the hospital point of time.
And my wife at the time had been trying to knock some sense into me and she'd gotten down into one of these groups down at his place
and she kept trying to get me to go down and see him. And we got going. I got involved in Alcoholics Anonymous finally and he and I would go out because he said you're fortunate you've got some stuff in your life. So he says, let's start using it. So we'd go out and take all the people from the streets out to dinner at 2:00 in the morning, you know, and things like that at the coffee shops out of brawlies and everything like that. But we do this night after night after night. And it was just insane. We were just going with everything we had to do this.
And the thing that was getting me was that we were going to meetings during the day. We were all talking and crazy and upside down
and didn't have a clue. You know that, don't you? And one night I came home and it was probably 2:30 in the morning and I was just exhausted. You ever do that? We just drop off and it's like even today it still takes me two minutes to fall asleep, I think. But that particular night I was dropping off and I had one of those moments where I was just falling down on the pillow and I shot straight up in bed and I was leaning on my back on the wall. And I thought to myself, what in the hell happened? And I realized that
once since about 6:00 in the morning when I got up that day till 2:30 that night when I was going to sleep, not once that whole day. And I either thought about drinking or not drinking. And I realized because I was, we were going through day after day after day of not thinking about drinking anymore. It had beat the hell out of me. But I was thinking about not drinking. And that'll drive you crazy. If you're new, you know, don't drink this, don't drink that. You're just, everything's about not drinking. You're looking at signs and you're putting the X over them.
And I had never,
everything in my life was about planning the next drunk. And that one day, that one little period of time, maybe 1819 hours, I'm not sure. But what I'm getting at is I realized that I had blanked out. It was like a mini Alzheimer's. I literally hadn't forgot to think about the most significant thing of my life for just that period of time. And I don't know about you, but that blew me away. I thought, what in the heck was that?
And all of a sudden I look back and I thought a a must know what they're doing. It's something to do with what those people were talking about. And so I came back and I listened a little bit more and next thing,
one thing led to another. And, you know, a month went by and six months went by and finally I get a year birthday. And I was, you know, I was amazed. You know, here I have physically sober, I'm not thinking about, but without that ability to break that bond, I used to get a sweat in the palm of my hands. And when I got that, it was a matter of moments really, or hours at the best, until I was drunk again. And here the very most significant thing in my life had been broken, like the fever had broke,
and I was at peace about it. And I couldn't figure out what that was. And so I began to get busy. I was always doing that. We were stacking chairs, washing coffee cups, doing things that they told me to do. And we did that. I didn't question that,
but after the one year birthday chip, I came to the conclusion that it was time to make up for all the bridges I burned.
And so I basically stayed in the meetings. I stayed secretary, a lot of meetings. I've always been active since I got here. You people seem to know what you were doing. I wasn't doing too good in my life, so I better pay attention and I did it. But what I'm here to tell you is after that one year for the next 3 1/2 years, I busted my tail. I arrived at the conclusion, maybe you're not like me, but I'd look around the room and I'd say I know what's going on with them. They they sleep in on Saturday and stuff like that. I'm going to get up early. So I got up early. I work 6 1/2 days a week
and I'm going to rebuild what what fell down in my empire. And I worked and I worked and I worked
and I then I work some more. And when I'm here to tell you is at the end of 3 1/2 years, my life was more upside down than it was the last six months of my drinking.
And I didn't know what the heck was wrong. I had a friend that was very high position in the state of California overseeing medical licenses, all these things. I was my game plan at that point in time was to cut in line at the electroshock therapy center. You know, I really didn't know what was going on anymore. I thought I was losing it. And I went to what was probably going to be my last meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous.
And I did the unthinkable. I literally for the first time, to the best of my ability, I just told the truth. I told him about what was going on in my life. I was being divorced a second time. I,
my business was going through the tubes again, you know, I, I, I couldn't go to my office. I was afraid of the people that worked for me, you know,
Everything was upside down and crazy and confused and I felt like I was popping out of my skin and, and I wanted to thank him for showing me how to go a day without a drink all that time. But I got other problems. And I'm telling this stuff from the depth of my heart about how upside down my life is. And two guys, two hobos that were in that meeting started laughing out loud. I thought that was rude, you know?
Yeah,
and, you know, right when I'm finally stolen my guts about everything that's going on, they're giggling about it. They think it's funny. And at the coffee break, they wouldn't leave me alone. They were outside on me on the park, you know, and, and they, they hung in there with me. And one guy stayed out in the bumper of his car till 11:00 that night, you know,
And I heard what may have been said a lot before, but it was the first time I'd ever heard the message, I think, of Alcoholics Anonymous. I had never heard it before. You know,
I thought what we were, what we were hearing at that time was you just hang with the groups, you run to the meetings and
you're going to suffer a lot. And over a period of time, you just get better. And if you can go through the hazing, it's kind of like going through one of those lines where they hit you with the sticks. You come out on the other end, you're going to be OK. You're going to be a winner, you know.
And they said no way, he said no way. He said. You don't know anything about that.
He said, come over to my house tomorrow, we'll talk. You know, I went down, I said to his house, I got in the door, didn't help me much. He said I, I know who you are. He says. He says if you think by getting me as a sponsor you're going to be OK, Says forget it. You know, he says that's not going to help you. He says you either know you're in trouble. You know, you've never even met me. You know, this guy never met me. He's a bad dresser. I make more money than him and all this stuff. And he looks at me and he says you're a short change artist, you know, and he starts, you know, taking my inventory and stuff like that. But he said
something that if you're going to do it, David, he says you're going to have to give it your all.
And, and I looked at him and I thought, give it my all. You know, look what I've, you know, and all this stuff. And he says, he says, I know what you're thinking. He says it's not about competing with me or anybody else. He says, he says, when I give it 100%, I get what I need. And when you give it 100% of what you can do, you'll get what you need, but you're not in competition with me. And he says you're going to have to start doing that now, whether you like it or not, or you can get a little bit more of what you want. But if you want, it says I'll show you what to do.
And he says
I was going through this long winded debate about whether this really worked or whether a worked or whatnot. I know there's nobody's ever thought that before, but I did,
you know, white lighted spiritual experiences and all that stuff. That's for the spiritual people, right?
And he said to me the most incredible thing I've ever heard. He says, why don't you give this six weeks of everything you've got and to everything else out? And he says at least when you go off and do whatever you're going to do, Mr. Smart Pants, he said, he says you can tell somebody that you gave it your own and it really doesn't work. But he says until you do that, you can't do that.
And I, I, I'm a betting man. I thought that little punk isn't going to shame me like that. So I took it back, you know, and I got busy doing things that were absolutely ridiculous. I mean, they had nothing to do with staying sober. It didn't. I mean, it was being kind to people that were, you know, crooked.
It was all the wrong things
at the time. I'd swear he was on the take from my wife at the time. He was defending her all the time
and but he asked me to do things. I mean, we used to say something in the old group that I sobered up in down there in Norse sack. And they, they say that I'm, I'm not putting anything down. It's just we each hear what we hear. So I'm not here to be an expert on a, I'm just telling you about my experience since I've been here. But they would say things in this meeting like a is a place for people who want it, not for people who need it. And I got to tell you, it's very important for you, maybe somebody out there to hear this.
I tell you, if that were true, I'd be dead today.
You know, I never wanted what a a had, but I got to a point where I knew I needed it and I started doing things I didn't want to do with people I didn't want to do them with in places I didn't want to do it. And you know what? The program didn't give a damn about that. It worked just fine when I started doing that. I I took me several years to go back and read Bill's writing, write in the book, write in the book from the guy that founded this thing. He says who cares to do these things. No, the average alcoholic self-centered extreme doesn't care for this at all
unless he has to in order. So I thought, my God, you guys all cared and I didn't. And what he said is you just need to develop the capacity to to realize the necessity. And that's what I began to get. I began to see that I wasn't going to get my way. And I began to do things in a manner that I had never done before in places with people. I remember God, we had a,
I got this man was always challenging my thoughts. He was saying things I hadn't heard in the meetings before. He told me, you don't know nothing about prayer. And I said, what do you mean I don't know about prayer? And he says, he says there's two sides to it. He says, why do you expect it to work with only one side? And I said, geez, I was an altar boy, all that stuff. And you're, you're a, you know, barefoot on rooftops in New York, for God sakes.
The guy was a, a drug dealing, you know, and, but he was doing better than me. It really ticked me off. And so.
So he said, there's two sides to prayer. And I said, OK, tell me all about it. And he says, you get down in your knees in the morning, don't you? I say, yeah, I do. And he says, what do you do when you get up off your knees? And he said, well, I go into my day and he says there's your problem.
And I said, what do you mean that's my problem? He says there's two sides to prayer. He says don't ever expect your prayer to work if you just get on your knees and pray to God. He says you've got to do the most important side, which is when you get up off your knees and step into your day, you've got to stay awake. You've got to look for the answer to that prayer. And if you get back into your day and just get into what you think needs to be done, you'll never see it.
I've heard things in a, a, this is one thing. I, I believe in the death of my heart and anybody. I mean, if you want to talk about it later, I'll talk to you about it. But I've heard people say that you can't see, feel and touch God.
And I want to tell you something. If you're in as much trouble as I am and you've got as upside down as you are in your life, and they're asking you to turn your will and life over to something you can't see, feel and touch, I will join you and wherever you want to go and we'll trash this whole place. But what I'm saying is they began to show me that there was something here if I would do it, that I could have evidence, hard evidence. And he began to tell me, why don't you pray to this God that you don't know exist and ask Him to produce something in your day
enough that you can't explain it away. And he said you do that consistently says now what I want you to do. He says when it presents itself, I don't want you to question it. He says, I just want you to step into whatever it is. So I said, you sure? And he goes, Yep, do it. Well, I'm only in the 5th step. I go to a meeting, I tell the truth. I tell everybody how my life is going to crap and it's upside down and crazy. Three guys come up in the middle of that meeting and ask me if I'll help them. And I said, I can't help you. I'm crazy.
But they asked for my number.
So I go back to this guy and I say, OK, big shot. You told me to pray the prayer. You told me to do all this stuff. These two guys come up and ask me. And I said, he said, where's this thing where you can't give away what you don't have? And he says, you're right. And I said, but you told me to pray the prayer and to step into anything that was presented to me. And he goes, you're right.
And I said, So what do I do? And he looks at me. He kind of looks at me that way. And I know I've got a dilemma going here. I'm either going to follow that prayer through or I'm going to go back to what I've always had, which wasn't working too good. So I got out on that busy street corner of Allegra and whatever. I'm a proud guy, you know, And we got two guys that I'm going to go into their apartment on and there's a busy intersection. There's cars everywhere,
and I decided the only way to helpfully handle that is I got down on my knees in my suit outside this guy's apartment
with all those cars going by, and I prayed that please don't let me kill anybody when I go inside, you know, help these guys. I began with a vengeance to try to do anything and everything I could do to begin to just trust that there was something that cared about me enough and we start to take care of me. And I got busy.
And the reason I'm in here to tell you that is I got so involved in that activity. Eventually we got through steps and things like that, but a lot of the steps got filled in by the real sponsor. And I'm not talking about the other one. You see, there was things being said in those meetings that I had never heard in the meeting of AA, you know, And I was curious to see who was saying them. And things were happening. And all of a sudden, I was more fascinated by that than by anything else, which is exactly what it tells me to do.
And all of a sudden, I realized that I was back in that room when I was nine years old,
you know, and I had back the thing that I left in the bottle of the pill. Is he? And I began to realize why you had laughed in that first meeting that I came to. Some of you were laughing for other reasons, but certain ones were laughing because they had found the answer. And that these hobos per se, these people without a lot of education, had found a way to essentially produce the effect that I used to get from the bottle of the pill.
And that's the only reason I'm still here today
is I've got to be under the influence of it tonight, the same way I was under the influence in the late days of my drinking. If I sober up, I'm in deep trouble. I don't know about you, but I I cannot. I've got to either be under the influence of Alcoholics Anonymous and the 12 steps or I've got to be under the influence of booze. But if I try to just go cold Turkey and live life on lifes terms on my own
two feet, I'm a mess. And I've been here a lot of years and I am actually probably more a mess today
than I was a day I got here. But I'm not trading places with any of you. My life is wonderful. It is a wonderful life. It's provided for me, not because I stood up and flew right, but because something greater than me provides that life to me. And that to me is the message of Alcoholics Anonymous. It's not a time thing. If you're new and you begin to do that, you got the same thing I got tonight right here at the podium. It's nice to have a little consistency to show that it can work over a long period of time. But other than that, this is not about the
Alcoholics Anonymous, as far as I know it. There's only one thing that can keep any of us sober here tonight and it's not of us, you know,
and that's the big deal in Alcoholics Anonymous. The reality is there is something that created each and everyone of us. Whatever you call it is your business. But it's about the business of reckoning with that and going back to the business of turning over something called self-sufficiency and going back to the old business of being taken care of. And it's good. It doesn't mean that we're relinquished. I got to stay real busy. But I was a self-sufficiency expert, you know, in my own life, maybe still can be. That's why I still take 10 steps all the time every time I get in trouble.
It's when I've gone back to taking care of my life, it's always for a good reason. It's because I've learned something about myself.
But you know, if learning about myself would treat my disease, I'd have left here a long time ago. You know, I'm dependent upon something that isn't human. It's the main, the main ingredient. There isn't any other ingredient that provides that. If you're new or if you've been around for a while and you're, you're stumped because life has a way of doing that. I've never been here for any length of period of time where there's not some new
cataclysmic event that it asked me to stretch my imagination beyond anything I've ever known.
You know, how many times is it learned? I mean, for any of us, but I'm trying to think three years ago, I had AI had a divorce or the back end of a divorce going on. My best friend from 27 years died. The mother of my youngest daughter was diagnosed with cancer and my daughter was having a heart attack over the fact that her mother wasn't going to be around. Oh yeah. And I lost my job and I think there was a few other things going on. But what I'm getting at is it was a wonderful event. In hindsight, it wasn't so good going into,
but it drove me one more time to a point where I was broken. I had no new answers. I had no way to get past that. You know, everything that's ever happened to me in Alcoholics Anonymous, it's real and it's good, is when I'm totally stumped. If I've got a clue of how to solve my problem, what in the heck am I doing here? Go out and do it. You know, this is based on the fact that I've got a problem that I can't solve
and it stays that way. You know, one of the guys that passed away a long, long time ago used to mirror that over and over and over again, he said. I'm caught in a trap I can't spring.
And that is so it's so it's like, so when can we start the the steps so I can spring the trap? That's not the answer. You know, my freedom today, my peace tonight up here is based on the fact that basically I know I'm a failure and that it doesn't interfere with the success that's going on in my life right now. It's actually the main basis for it happening that way. I'll give you an example. If you're new or relatively new, or if you've been around for a long time,
try helping yourself
not take a drink. You know, that'll get you drunk real fast. Yeah, sometimes it's hard in a A to, to get somebody to actually accept the fact that the basis of this whole organization, way it got founded was based on the idea that I've lost the power of choice. I swear to God, sometimes I get into places where I think choice is the answer.
What I'm hearing is I got the choice for this now. I got the I don't have a choice. And that's why I'm peaceful tonight. If I could choose not to drink, then I got to learn how to choose not to drink tomorrow, and that gets me restless tonight. I'm going to stay up late trying to make sure I don't choose wrongly tomorrow.
And I don't think it's a little issue. I mean, you know, I'm not saying that there's not other ideas, but it's the mainstay of Alcoholics Anonymous. It was started because nothing on the face of the planet knew what to do with people like us. And it was very, very successful by the basis that we have a non human problem. We probably have a hypersensitivity to being close to something greater than us,
and the closest thing we ever found was liquor. You know,
sometimes other things. We tend to get hooked up to members of the opposite sex and money and fame and all that stuff. But the base thing is we have a predisposition to a sensitivity of conscious partners from God, and the treatment is to do the things to bring back the unity of that, to bring us closer to the thing that created us, whether we think it or not. The one thing I would say is the symptoms always the same, never made any difference. I would have sworn that was not my problem. When I got started in steps, I remember telling them,
how do you make me trust God? You've got to make me trust God. Thank God these Alcoholics knew what was really wrong with me. I really thought my problem was I didn't know how to trust God. Any of you ever think that way? What they told me and actually Ron says he never said it. But when I realized now is they said, David, your problem isn't that you don't trust God.
Your real problem is you have no way to stop trusting you, is it?
I come in here saying I'm beaten, and then somebody says, well, why don't you do that? You said well that'll never work.
I flat ass failed in my life. Somebody says do these things right here and you'll be OK, and I'll say, well, that's good for you, but that won't work for me. You know,
I have an overextended capacity to have faith in myself when I doesn't deserve it. You know, that's what's amazing.
What are they saying? Alcoholics own person can lay in the gutter and look down at the world. You know
you ever do that? Probably someone you're doing it right Now listen to this Jackass up at the podium.
It really isn't me, it's you.
I'm a Jackass, but that's still your head.
And if you do, welcome because you're in good company. You know, it's most of us do. Most of us are getting ready for the night. We get up here and we'll do it different, you see. But the point then,
this is a disease. This is not just a bad habit, you know.
They began to explain to me that alcoholism is a disease that centers in the mind
and I treat it by drinking alcohol,
but the disease centers in my mind. What do I mean by that? It's a mind that tells me that I know me better than you know me. And because of that, I can't listen to you. First off, I think I got good eyesight. So I think I see what you're doing and I don't and I I think I hear what you're saying and I don't. You ever done that? We talked about that one all the time. He's going in there. Maybe I see Robert and he says, hey, I haven't seen you for a while. And what I hear is Robert says I'm not going on enough meetings.
So. So I come over to Tom and I say Tom
Roberts an asshole
and we need to avoid him. You know,
no offense, Robert, but it's all all in the good sport of a disease. What I'm getting at is I don't.
I don't hear so well.
I don't hear so well. I project things that aren't being said. I hear things that aren't being, you know, going on out there. I had a friend of the day. We're trying to convince him to go home and rent the movie The Beautiful Mind. It's one of the best movies I've ever seen to see what it looks like to be an alcoholic. We're actually living in a life with things that aren't really happening. And it's hard pressed to get people to listen to that in a A,
you know, it is our book says that and I'm just going to quote it a little bit. I can't help it. It's in the 12:00 and 12:00, but it says, it says that most of us are willing to accept the fact that we're problem drinkers. Most people would say that, right? They didn't do too good with that. But it says few indeed are willing to endure the suggestion that we're in fact quite mentally ill. There's a real deal breaker, right? That'll make you real popular at a A
and the difficulty is we laugh in many ways and things like that, but most of the people get pushed out not never knowing what hit them. It's like a great white. You know, if you could tickle its nose before it bit you, that would be fair play. But it hit so hard and so fast from the side. You never see it coming.
You never see it coming, you know, And this is not letting up. You know, we've been around for 75 years. And I'm going to tell you it's a wonderful solution. It's a wonderful program. But we've got more to do with the people that are coming through the doors of AA. You know, we don't have to perhaps lose as many as we do, you know,
but we've got to get out of the idea that we did to do value added with the program. The program that came out of the book originally
was perfectly fine. It works wonderfully with alcoholism. We don't need to bring new ideas on top of it. These hobos, these people that help me,
very good education, was trained by people, even people from the White House staff, things like that. People took a long time to give me credentials on the wall. And one guy that was barefoot on the rooftops, another guy that went to Scott was from Scotland, never even finished high school. These guys told me things that nobody had ever told me on the face of this planet,
and they're still the most important thing I've ever heard in my life. They knew what was wrong with me.
Yeah, I had the good fortune. Years later, one of the guys, real big guy in the in state of California, you know, had this position and I'd come to him and ask him to help me, you know, get down there for a little therapy. And and he came to me one night. He said, will you help me? And I said, what do you mean, would I help you? And he says, why would you want me to help you? And he said, 'cause you're one of the sickest guys I've ever met in my life and you're not sick. You know, you're doing better.
And he said, And I said, well, So what? So what do you want to help? He says, Well I've been taking medicine from my patients
and I can't stop using it. Would you meet me at the dumpster and we'll throw it out? So these are the people that are educated beyond their capacity to follow the instructions. You see what I'm saying? This is not a deficiency of education. Sometimes I think we think that the treatment of alcoholism is to get better educated.
There's nothing wrong with finding a little bit about it, but it won't treat it.
Yeah, Carl Young said that to Roman.
You know, he was working with a criminally insane, as far as I know, and he was working with quite a few people in his clinic. Most of them were what you call double modalities. Some of them were schizophrenic. And like that. Carl says to Roman after he falls out, he says, Roman, I got to get you out of here and get your bed back. I got I can treat these people. I can't treat you. You're too sick,
is it? Yeah. So what I'm saying is I met these guys and they said cheer up. It's much worse than you think.
And what I found was that was the missing link. You know, we were talking about dinner tonight, Mark and I were talking about. But the biggest problem I see people all the time with like the same have trouble with prayer, meditation or something like that and never had a problem. I mean, I haven't really. I'm going to tell you, you can pray and meditate you all you want. If there's not the foundation in the 1st 2 steps
for what's wrong with me, there will never. It says right there driven to AA by the, you know, by the depths of my problem. And there I'm confronted with the truth about alcoholism. And it says then and only then will I become open minded to conviction. You think I'm going to give up and, and, and start doing things in my life that are really needed to be done If I think I can weasel out of it or do something different, It's very important that I'm faced with a fatal problem. And I'm not talking about drinking now. I'm talking about sober
drunk that I'm still going down. That sponsor that got a hold of me after four years, 4 1/2 years, said, what makes you think you're OK now? You know,
And he said there's basically three curtains that you can pick in this game show of Alcoholics Anonymous. Curtain number one is you drink and you die drunk, you know, and I've done that. I buried my dad and people that were very close to me that I would would have done anything for, but they were dead nonetheless, you know, and he said, curtain #2 is you go crazy from not drinking and you either end up committing a crime or end up in paper slippers in some mental facility. That's number two. That sounds
equally kind of skeptical, right?
And he says #3 you're going to actually have
a significant experience of the spiritual kind. And,
and he said there ain't no curtain for
there ain't no curtain for it. Now, I think it's wonderful. A is a great place to come and hang out and be safe and be in your meetings long enough to hit a real bottom so we can find a real God. But that is the message of Alcoholics Anonymous. This is not an agnostic organization as far as I know. And if that bothers you, they always told me with it, fine. The other thing will drive you right back in the door. We're going to eventually going to look for something. Frankly, if they told me shaking Dead Cat on the roof at midnight would do for me what this does,
I would be a disciple of Dead Cat shaking.
So get over it, you know,
I want the goods. I was stuck on the on the West Coast of Spain. One time we were on a hiatus and we got stuck in this little town. No fresh water. Oh, it's terrible. And and the worst thing was we were stuck at this camping spot. We've been on one of these little things where we met a couple of cuties and we were,
you know, going to set the world on fire. And we got to this little Mexican resort and the only thing they had was this stuff called Anna Said. I don't know if you know what that is, but it is the most God awful thing I've ever seen. It's sweet as hell. It tastes like pure licorice. The only redeeming factor in is it it's got alcohol in it, you know, And I'm here to tell you that as ugly as it is, if you hold your nose long enough and pour it down your throat, eventually you can't snow it anymore, you know?
And what I'm getting at is
I didn't care what it tastes like. I didn't care that it was sweet. If I could get enough of it in me, it got me to where I needed to be.
And that's essentially what we're doing here. You know, I didn't start off the first day I drank as a raging alcoholic. I remember I tied one on. I went out with some friends and we went out with his sisters. They were older and the parents were gone. And we, we tied one on big time. I was about 12. And Oh my God, I remember I woke up the next morning. I thought, I just thought I'd been hit by a truck and I swore off for a whole week. I did not drink for a week, you know,
Took me a day to tie my shoes.
And what I'm saying is I drank the next week and then I didn't drink every day after that. Little by little over the years, I got to the point where I could drink every couple of days and then a little bit longer I could drink every day. And then I got to a point where I wanted to walk around with an IV card on rollers. Was it plugged into me?
That was my goal at the end. If it had kept working, you'd be seeing me up here with an IV cart right now.
So what I'm getting at is essentially the 12 steps are a set of principles, spiritual in their nature, which if it basically it practiced as a way of life. Now that's a funny word at first. That means that I don't, I don't sit in a discussion group and talk about them. It means I've got to take the things that they're talking. Bob used to say this. My sponsor sponsor would always say the book says two things. It says do this, don't do that, do this, don't do that. I said, where does it say that Bob?
And he'd say look here and he'd show me and he'd say this is the way it was for me. He said you ever happened to you? And I remember one guy I remember I had a terrible time with his. He had that he probably could have had a Labor Relations suit. You know, the boss of all bosses. This guy was mean as a tell of the Hun and he's telling me about all the stuff he's got him dead into rights with the labor unions on the whole thing. And I said I want you to water his plant when he's out of the office. He said you want me to what? I said I want you to water his plant and do other things that he won't
aware of, but start to do something for that man that you hate so much. And he said, why would I want to do that? I said because you might get sober another day if you do that. And little by little, we still laugh about it today. That guy's a great member of Alcoholics Anonymous. Got a little other trouble going on his life right now, but we still laugh about that. That guy is still a prick. He's one of the worst bosses. I would never suggest you to work for him, but the guy that worked for him is great. He's fine. Today he watered his plant and he got to the point where he was
to be kind to this man and he broke his own fever. You see, people don't make me what I am. What happens is I think you doing what you do gives me the right to treat me, treat you the way I want to. And that's what takes me out every time. You know, I would have sworn when I got to Alcoholics Anonymous, the reason I was hurting was for what you did to me. I, I know maybe some of you are like that. I really thought that my real problem was that I wasn't as conniving as a recipe for I was with.
I was too kind. And when you're working with wolves and you're kind to them, they tend to snarl up and bite you and things like that. And so I was sure that really what I was is I was selfless and that was my problem.
And then if I learned to be a little bit more selfish with people and take care of my own rights and set my boundaries and all this stuff that doesn't, I can't find it in the book, you know?
And what I found was my problems arise out of myself.
I had to be shown by another man. Though this man talked about living. I never forget. I go to pick up my spine. I go to my sponsors house. I was going to go. He's not here tonight so I won't catch hell from him. But I go to sponsors house to to do a fist step, let's say. And I drive up to the house. The reason I trusted him is he was a drunk just like me. I drove up to his house
and mind you, I get to the house and I'd see the front door open and he'd come running out towards the car and say what's going on? He says get out of here, we're getting out of here tonight. He says I can't go back in. We're having a little sparks with the wife tonight. He was having trouble himself, is he? And he began to talk to me about how he treated his home life, you know, and what was going on.
And because he was doing better than me and I saw he was even more corrupt than me, I knew there had to be a God. I began to watch what he was doing.
This guy is still not right.
We sent down to meetings and he goes, he looks over me. He goes, man, you're sure effed up. And I said I know so are you. And we laugh and we got you know in a great, you know, this does not require me to be anything other than what I am. I'm perfectly good being just as messed up as I was the day I got here
because of the solution you gave me, that as far as I know, God doesn't have to work steps. He's already got him down, you know? If I turn my will and my life over, told me he intuitively knows perfectly what to do. You know,
my problem is I keep trying to think on his behalf. You ever do that?
Good luck.
I can't emphasize that enough. I think what's important about this is I have a living problem. I got to have a living solution. What good is a life or a God that can't be in this room with us right now? You know, if you're looking around in this room and if there's somebody sitting within two chairs of you right now, you don't know.
And you would take the time tonight to say hello to him and find out something that you're outside of your own comfort zone, something that's new that you don't know and step towards it and say hello to somebody or something like that. That has more to do with this process than anything else in the face of the moon. You know, the problem with the alcoholism is that the disease in the mind and the minds trying to protect me. And so it's created a barrier around me and around you and around just like Herbert Spencer says it. It's the perfect bar against any
because it's contempt beyond, you know, investigation. I already know I can't talk to you because you're not right. You know, I never met you, but I already know that, you know, and I've never been right yet, have you? You know, I, I'm probably going to be wrong tomorrow and it's the greatest thing in the world. I've not been right about anything yet.
Yeah, and that's the beautiful part of this. I think it's God's job to be right and it's my job to be wrong. And it's perfect that way. When I was a little kid, we went down to Southern California one time, and the troubled spiritual growth makes it so rough. Is is in the human form. I think if you're 10 years old and you're living at home, nobody says anything. But if you're 40 and you're living with your mother, everybody starts to talk, you know,
and they start saying there's something wrong with your son, you know? And
what I'm getting at is everything in the human form is about over a period of time
you get more capable of self governing and self self-reliance and taking care of yourself. The reason this is so difficult for me to grasp is it's just the opposite in the spiritual room. The longer I've been here, the truth is the less I can do is it and the more God becomes participating in my life. And this is a job. If there is progress versus perfection, it's that I'm less involved in my life today than I was the day I got here. And I trust enough
allow God to provide a life to me that I could never provide for myself. And my big fat ego gets out of the way long enough to let somebody else take the credit.
I've got to get over this notion that there's going to be brag value in this.
I know just enough to take everything out right now. I love praise you. I think you do. I, we were talking about with Katie there tonight and it was like, I used to love to stand in front of a group of people and get a round of applause.
But you know, when you're dying drunk, that round of applause won't do much for you. It really won't. You know, I know that for a fact. Maybe some of you that haven't had applause for a long time, think if you get that back, it'll treat you. I can tell you, I can short that cut a little bit on you and tell you that it doesn't do it. You know,
you know, what I'm getting at is it's about letting something else begin to do for me. First with booze, because I accept the fact from another alcoholic that I've lost the power of choice. But then eventually in the sixth step, we began to see with all other things, all other things, you know, we take a piece meal at first maybe,
but what we begin to find out is there's somebody that has a I'll give you the best example I can think of. I don't want to talk all night, but I used to, you know, you are of domestic problems.
This is the guy that's, you know, I've had a few And what I'm saying is I had a hell of a time. I'll pick up my first wife. We would just go around and round and round. That guy was hell bent on getting me sober until about two months after I got sober. And then she lost her shadow and she wasn't too happy with that. She had to look at her own drinking. But what I'm getting at is we would go round and round and round all the time.
And it wasn't until years later, being an Alcoholic Anonymous, that I started to get the idea of spiritual development.
Tell you is we fought my cats and dogs except for one exception. She had a dad that idolized. He was a drunk like me. And I just thought I'd gone to heaven getting into this family. My father-in-law was my hero. I mean, we would fall asleep in the mashed potatoes together at Christmas time. It was like I had company
and when this guy came, I look forward to his visits. And what I realized was I God was showing me this one time he would come to the house, we'd pick him up at the airport and we'd drive him in. And for that whole week, my wife couldn't do anything wrong. You know, she couldn't do anything wrong because her dad was in the room, you see.
And we'd go through this week and I'd talk about how good the cooking was and everything like that. At the end of the week, he'd go back to Texas and we'd drive him out to the airport and we'd say goodbye and hug and all that. And we didn't even get back in the car. We were on the way back to the house. I told her everything she did wrong for the last week. You know,
now I've got to be a clue about that. I realized that I would treat people one way when their father was in the room and another way when they were alone.
I don't know if you hear what I'm saying, but I think I can treat you any way I want except for one thing. When I know that the thing that created you is in the room with us, all of a sudden you look different to me. Is it? And I began to realize a little bit about spiritual development and what it is you say. It's about not making decisions alone and basically not making the decision at all. Looking to her father, per Southeast,
when her daughter is upset with me and crying and maybe going to him, who knows her a little longer than I do, and ask him what the hell to do with this.
You're saying I began to get clues about life, about people that I knew not enough to help them, but I'd go to him and I'd say, you know him. You've been with him ever since I got here. Help me with this and I'd start to get answers to things I could never have ever tapped into in my life. And I still get him on a regular basis. We're going to close up in a minute. I'm going to tell you that Alcoholics Anonymous works. If you're here and you want to give it a try. I've got a lot of people in here that want to help,
but it works consistently when we work it. I'm sober by the grace of some of the work we did today.
You know, I never got to a bar on a Tuesday night and told not to pour me anything because I drank so much on Monday. Did you do that? So there's no such thing as completing steps. In other words, it's a working process. I'm trying to do the things tonight to stay under the influence of Alcoholics. Managed tonight. You know, I like the way it makes me feel.
You know, I like what it feels like to be under the influence of what you people gave me. I encourage you as we're getting out of the meeting, maybe to meet somebody new. Don't do the unthinkable, for God's sakes. Don't tell anybody that you don't have all the the angles on all your problems solved because you're level to get help, you know, But what I'm getting at is this is a place where if we reach out and admit to each other we don't have all the answers, something can begin to happen, you know, and that's really what it's at. That's where God appears. That's what we get real.
Thank you so much for the privilege of being here tonight, and thank God we got the temperature back then.