Workshop called

6:00 and 7:00 and

as of right now, I don't have anything else to offer on that, so I'm going to add it off to you. Thank you,

because I've stolen this stuff

in back. Chris

thought about the ideal at the end of the inventory. How do you kind of arrive at that? How you doing the sex inventory?

The second all right,

the book talks about establishing an ideal

in your sex conduct.

And you know, the first time I saw somebody trying to write an ideal was this guy that I said, So what does your ideal look like? And he said, oh, about 5 foot two and blonde and,

and I said, I think you missed the point.

At least for us, the sexual ideal has to do with what we're bringing to the to the party.

And that means what am I willing to do in a relationship to make it work?

And so my ideal has to do with

putting someone elses welfare above my own. It has to be to do with being open

and communicating

in kind

and trying to really do something to add something positive to to the other person's life on a regular basis.

I suppose it's a lot like that little short prayer in the book which says, How can I serve the

Yeah, thy will not mind be done. Not always.

My ideal really has to do with

how am I going to act and what am I bringing to a relationship.

And in trying to define that is, is a good exercise because you have to go back and look at it periodically. And if you to see if you're doing what you said you were going to do,

umm, my ideal doesn't change much or hasn't for probably the last 10 years.

And

the last relationship I was in, I was trying to practice, which is a couple of years ago. I was trying to practice the principles that I had

chosen

and I think it was the neatest relationship I've ever been in my life. And it the only reason why it stopped was because there was a compelling reason in the middle of it where she needed to do some other things. And one of which was they have children and I'm too old. I just, I don't want to have children at this age. I think it's unfair.

And I had to tell a lady that I was just

wildly in love with that the best thing for her was to go find someone who was willing to have children with her and then go on about her life. And it absolutely killed me.

But it was the best thing for her. So

you know it,

you're going to establish some principles, some rules for the road in your life. And then the next question is, do you have the courage to live that way?

Do you have to? Are you, are you willing to make decisions which may not be in your own best self-interest, but they may be in their interest,

and are you willing to live like that and then and then not sit around and bitch about it for the rest of your life?

So you know what? I spent a lot, a lot of time thanking God that that woman was in my life for as long as she was.

And I'm not angry because she's not in my life any longer. I'm grateful that I had the time to spend with her that I did. So part of that coming to that kind of understanding

was

writing out a sexual ideal.

The book makes an interesting statement about our sexual conduct. And that is, if it continues to help other or to harm others, we're sure to drink. Listen to that. That's not a lie.

If,

if your sexual conduct

is harming someone

and you decide to ignore it and continue

that kind of behavior, don't be surprised if you got a bottle in your hand one of these days.

And I've seen that happen over and over again. And you know, some people go, well, hell, I can get away with it. Well, that's just like getting away with it with alcohol. There's no such thing. At some point, all that stuff comes home to roost. And so you may want to consider that now. So we're going to talk about 6:00 and 7:00 just a minute.

I came about that from the other end, if you will, that that I,

I had come to see how much harm I had caused with my infidelity and, and chasing after my feelings and that sort of thing. And

when I finished

the 5th step with those guys up in Chicago and I've done those things and that I had to do something about my sexual ideal and that sort of thing, I looked at the book and looked at that and all I could really see was a harm I was causing until I began to try to write down the ideal. But the lie in there was that I wasn't like the rest of those other Alcoholics and I could get away with that and not drink

and probably not a week going by.

From what I see, an alcoholic man go out and fall in heat with some gal and watch the process. They move out of the safe place they're living and then they decide to move in with her.

Was that line I heard the other day? What? What do 2 Alcoholics do on their second date? Rent A U-Haul? Yeah, that's.

And so

the discarding of that line was one thing, but establishing

the ideal was really something else. And

and that I had to come down to that. And so much of my amends to my wife were wrapped around that ideal,

and they really were. So I don't do anything with another woman that I wouldn't do right in front of her.

We had a wonderful woman in Indianapolis named Melinda. And some of you knew her and she and she carried the messages better than anybody I've ever seen it. At times, I think in fact, we would go through Coed workshops together and she would embarrass me because she, she would catch me with my fears. And so she, she'd rub them in, make them real apparent to me if she only did it once for fear. But

it's a great help to me with that.

But one time we ran in each other at a restaurant

and without thinking or anything else, we gave each other a full kiss on the lips. I mean, it was just impulsive. It was just right now. And it seemed like the both of us to be the thing to do. And I didn't think anything about it. Of course, you know, other than that. Damn, that was nice. But

Linda called later that afternoon and said the same thing to me. And so I told her. I said, well, I think we're all right, Lynn, as long as we don't do anything we wouldn't do right in front of Julie, she said. We better not do that again.

And and we didn't but and it wasn't. I mean, that best is what it was, but

with that, so, so much of my ideal had to do with me being what I signed up to be 50 years ago when we got married. And I literally hadn't done it in my Mary Charlotte at all up until 20 some years ago. And I was 24 again.

Not that that's a big deal, but it, it changed my life and it changed it dramatically. That doesn't mean we still don't have discussions around that and how I can be forgetful and how I can be crude and

and all of that, but that's part of me staying within the ideal.

I just thought I'd throw that in there. I

mine came as a result of becoming aware of all the harm, all the pain I'd caused not just to her but other families and and everybody else.

Let me say something quickly about shooting baby ducks.

Do you know what that is? I dare you to say it. It's screwing a newcomer,

so

there's a misconception there. We had a lady that joined our Home group

that was a former runner up for Miss Whatever some state, and she was

very, very attractive woman. And when she came walking in the door newly sober

and there was a guy in our group with about 15 years of sobriety that immediately thought that was easy pickings and that he was going to go give her right on his motorcycle

and and she went along with it. And not too many days later, they were off together and

and I went to this guy in my Home group and I said, you see what's going on there? And he said, yeah. And I said, now what do you think's going to happen? And he said he's taken advantage of her and that she's going to, she's going to suffer from the the consequences of that. And I said, you got it backwards.

That guy is going to go out and she is about 3 grades above anything he's ever had in his whole life.

And one of these days she's going to turn around, look at him and say, well, that was fun and good luck.

Can see people who just come through the door of Alcoholics Anonymous aren't looking for a relationship. They may be in lust, but they're not in love.

In about three months later, she turned around one day and said that was a lot of fun. So, you know, let's be friends and I'll see you

and it above killed him.

And so

this is not a right the right thing to say it in a a group. You know that looking for a partner in Alcoholics Anonymous is like shopping in the Denton Can aisle.

That's right.

What the hell would ever possess you to go looking for someone who obviously has some level of insanity?

That doesn't mean you aren't, and it doesn't mean you shouldn't. It just means that the odds aren't that much in your favor.

And if you go to someone that's new and Alcoholics Anonymous and think you're going to be in a relationship, you're not, you're going to be in a hostage situation.

So,

you know, there are some people who get together and Alcoholics Anonymous and it'll last forever and they really love each other. And there are, there are legions of examples of that around. But the real truth is, if you're looking for a partner, come on,

why are you doing it here?

The answer to that, by the way, is this where we spend most of our time

I so

I'll just put another twist on that. You've got two totally self-centered people thinking the other one's going to fix them.

It's it's crazy.

Is that what you want to?

I have another question kind of since we're bringing up the

seating stuff

issues not worded as flaring. What we need to talk about

outside. Don't like therapy

that work with moldings of healthier relationship to yourself within a lot of stuff out there. Do you guys have any experience with that as far as integrating with the work you're doing? I'm in that business.

You should never ask me about therapy because I

do. You know, I used to train the parole officers in the state about how to communicate. And so I trained all these parole officers and and the woman who runs the parole division in Colorado came out to me and she said, what do you think about getting involved with therapy? Because we need a good provider and we really like doing business with it. And I said, well, I don't believe in it

for myself.

I, they, you send me to psychiatrists when I was a kid and, and I showed up at my psychiatrist's office one day and I said, oh, I haven't, I have an appointment with doctor so and so. And the nurse looked at me and she said, oh, didn't you hear? And I said no. And she said he committed suicide this week. And I went,

all right, something's wrong here,

you know, of my psychiatrist is committing suicide. I wonder what the hell is going on. I, I think that there are people who truly benefit from therapy.

Umm, and I'm one of the largest providers of therapy. My company is in psychiatric care in Colorado for the Department of Corrections and

and I think a lot of that, at least from personal observation, because I'm no therapist,

is the intent of the therapist. And if if they have a good heart, I think it has a tendency to heal people who are looking for a solution. And some of them are well versed in whatever,

whatever kinds of therapy they're supposed to be doing. But

you know, if you have a like a real mental illness,

and I deal with people like that every day,

the people who are bipolar or schizophrenic or someone with a real mental illness, that

there are real things to do about that.

Which brings up the idea of medication.

So as long as we're talking about everything else,

fucking rape,

there are people with real problems that need real medications. And if you're going to stand there and tell them not to take medications, you got your head up your ass.

You know, unless you're an MD,

leave your opinion out of the God damn meeting, OK? And so

there there are also.

There are also

millions of people in this country who don't like to feel bad.

Not even occasionally,

you know, people go well, I'm depressed. Really, How long?

And you know, if you get, if you're always depressed, you ought to go see a doctor about it.

If you got depressed this week because your job didn't go right, live with it,

all right? I I am even in the business, even being this sober this long, am occasionally depressed, seriously depressed.

Do I go get medication for it? No. What did people do 50 years ago?

Nothing.

They had nothing to do, so they just felt depressed. You know, I have psychiatrists that are working for me and they go, you seem depressed and I go, I am. That's very observant of you.

And they say, well, I can give you something for that. I go, no, you can't.

Yeah, you know what? It's part of life,

so so you do what you want to do, but I want to see life as it is and I want to get as close to reality as I can get. And I want to get as close to the truth as I can get. And so I don't engage in it. You have a right to do anything you want to do, but don't take yourself out of reality just because you don't like it.

So what's the truth? The truth is, some people ought to be Medicaid,

some people shouldn't. And there are both kinds of people that we're going to run across in Alcoholics Anonymous.

So

if you see someone who is continually, profoundly depressed, it's not the worst thing in the world for them to hear from you that they ought to seek medical help. I've told people that I sponsor to go find medical help.

And are there other people who are

just such profound weenies

that they can't stand a little pain?

Yeah. There you go, pussy flipping around. Yeah,

just be a little judicious how you use medication.

I watch people who are on medication all the time. Some of them work and some of them don't

and some of them do just exactly the opposite of what they're supposed to do in people like us have had serious suicide rates on things like Prozac and Wellbutrin. So often some of those things that that doctors who work for me regularly prescribe, but they, they

just

just understand that that that feeling bad or feeling depressed is part of life.

And just statistically, at any given moment,

1/3 of the industrialized world is clinically depressed.

So, you know, it's not something that just came out of the blue and you're the only one that had ever happened to.

So please understand that some put some things are part of life and that we don't have to get stupid through too much medication

to survive it. Sometimes it's just get through it.

That's an opinion which means you can throw it right out the window.

Should have never got off.

Step six. One more

I really like the comments about the ego.

Ego and self esteem.

I I don't know the answer to that. I think

he was asking if there any any distinction between the terms egocentric that Bill uses in the big book and self esteem.

That's primarily the ones you mentioned in it. Those are the two two terms you mentioned. Number of years ago I was taking a young man through the through the book and he was reading

and the line that reads in that where Bill says egocentric, as they like to count call it nowadays, this kids reading along and he go he bumps right to it and he says codependent, as they like to call it nowadays. And hell, he'd gotten two more sentence passed it before I heard what I said. I said just a minute. The hell do you say he said that? He grinned. He said I said codependent and I looked at that and he says doesn't that mean the same thing?

And

apparently it's pretty close

and I don't see that at all as part of self esteem. Egocentric. I think it could be self seeking. We're being led around just to feed our ego. But I.

Don't get too caught up in a single term in the book. It's really not work. But most of us have now have found out that if we're talking about something that's selfish, we're talking about something that's mine and you can't have. And if I'm talking about self seeking, it mean it's something that yours and I want it. I'm fixing to get it

with that, but don't spend too much time on that because we got enough head games with that without

step 6.

Go ahead. You got a better story. OK,

that. So we come out of the inventory, we come out of the 5th step and then

wow,

then were directed to go home

and take the book down from the shelf

and review the 1st 5 proposals. See if we've made mortar without sand.

And then in the sixth step, we're asked to become willing to be rid of all of those things which kept us from the sunlighted spirit.

And are we willing?

I had mentioned to you before that there are two places in the Big Book where I throw myself at God's feet without reservation.

And here's the other one. The other, actually the other ones is 7th step. But I have to find the willingness in the sixth step to throw myself at God's feet again and without reservation. And that means that that I'm willing to accept anything that God has in mind. And so

when it describes the 7th step, it talks about I'm now willing that you have all of me, good and bad. But my problem is that I don't know which is good and which is bad.

And it says in that prayer, and I don't want to get that far ahead of myself, but it says that I now ask God to remove every single defective character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you. And my fellows you will. You might have noticed at some point during this thing that I'm very opinionated.

I'm also very candid

and and that means that I'm going to tell you the truth if I think you ought to hear it.

I always thought being in that aggressive was a character defect.

You know, the, I, I mentioned last night at that meeting that my, that I was working with inmates and that my ex-wife said I'd finally found a job that suited my personality. And,

and I always thought, see, I was a bill collector in Chicago. I just, you know, I used to kick in people's doors and put them up against the wall and scare the, the junior out of it

and, and just be almost sociopathic. In fact, probably sociopathic in the way I I went about it, which was why I was so good at what I did.

And

and I always thought being that almost that angry and aggressive

was a terrible part of my personality. And I have been asking God for more than 36 years

to that I am now ready that He takes all me, good and bad, and remove every single defected character which stands in the way of my usefulness to Him. And in my fellows,

you know, and I have said that with with real willingness to be rid of anything that he would take away.

He's never done that.

And some people will say it's because you don't want to get rid of it.

OK, I want to get rid of it if God wants to take it, but I have to be willing to lose any part of my personality, any part.

And, and one of the biggest

challenges in being willing to get rid of those things is that's the way we defend ourselves.

The reason why I'm, why I am so direct

is because I've always defended myself that way. Then people will be afraid of me and they won't challenge me and all the rest of that. See, so, so those things that and a lot of things that I am today are things that I have defended myself with for years.

And am I willing to drop the defense?

One of the first things I said to you was stop defending yourself.

If you're living a spiritual life, what the hell are you defending?

I don't have to defend myself. You don't like me? You write inventory. But

I'm going to go to bed tonight and sleep like a baby.

So finding the willingness

to lower my defenses,

to stop defending myself

is a pretty scary proposition.

And all of those things that I've developed for all of those years to protect myself from you,

am I willing to drop the whole deal and to be vulnerable?

Are you?

Are you willing to drop your defenses? That's what the 6th step is about.

Am I? Am I willing to be anything that God chooses? Again, just like the third step, So,

so,

so I have asked God for years, for as long as I've been doing it to take away what he doesn't think works. And I'm still, and I'm, you know, I'm still direct and I'm still aggressive and I, and what I suppose one of the big reasons is because of the population that I work with,

because I, I don't know whether I'm

too oblivious or too stupid to be afraid,

but I'm just not afraid.

And you know, they, they, they locked me in a room full of inmates

and or lock me in a room with a serial killer. I don't care. I just, I refuse to be afraid in any way. The book says that I can go to the most sordid places in the world,

and I can.

I went into one of the dingy as bars in Denver and pulled a Hells Angel out of it

and and I walked in there. This was I don't know whether Gary Everett met this guy was named by Iron Mike was a Hells Angel and he had been on top of a three story building having his way with some young lady and they got throws a passion and he rolled off the roof.

And when he broke his leg, he really broke his leg

and he was having trouble getting it to heal in any way. He went into a bar down on 17th St. in Denver and got his nose full of cocaine and and got drunk and

called me and asked me to come and get him. And I went down there and got him, and by the time I got there, he changed his mind

and he said I'm not going anywhere. And I said, like hell you're not. If I came all the way down here, you by God are going somewhere

and he said you can't Get Me Out of here. And I said look, you either start heading for the door in the next 3 seconds or I'm going to kick you in that leg you broke and I'm going to break it again and then I'm going to drag your ass out of this bar. Now you got a choice.

So he said OK,

and we went over to York Street and had a cup of coffee.

And I don't know whatever happened to him, but the point of that whole thing is you don't have to be afraid.

Where's their Samoan buddy? I was telling him last night. Yeah, wake him up. Hey, Kimo, wake up.

I was telling him last night,

yeah, I was telling him last night that in Denver,

people

say you better get your shit together, you're gonna wind up with Bob Olsen as a sponsor. And you know what? It's because I'm not afraid. And you don't have to be afraid, OK? This stuff either works or doesn't

if you're willing. If you're willing to just drop everything and stop being afraid and stop defending yourself,

life works a lot better.

One of the biggest challenges in life is, is not spending all of it in fear.

So

so is at least as it relates to the 6th step to stay on that it has to do with am I willing to drop my defenses? Am I willing to stop defending myself? Am I willing to get rid of all of those things that I have protected myself with for all of these years and to finally turn to God and say you're the one that needs to protect me. OK. So thanks,

I think

Dolphin is not. Anytime I've written some inventory time I got to the 6th step and took a good look at it. I've been dealing with things I was really sick of

and ashamed of and the idea that that maybe there was a way that that God could take him. It was

really good news. And that's happened most of time. But there are times when I went ahead and thought already and said the 7th step prayer. And then I went through some periods of behavior that would have said that I probably didn't want those defects to leave and behave that. And I don't know if you remember this, but

I'll give you a couple of because I had taken this, the 7th step we've done. We've gone to the 7th step together

and

you know, I figure I'm on a spiritual plane at about right here and and no trouble and two things happen to to kind of let me know that maybe I have more to do. And you remember back then, the Denver Broncos had a sorry quarterback name of Steve Tense. And I'm watching the game one day and he fumble and I kicked Julie's antique fruit wood

coffee table

and it broke into several pieces.

And

I pick them all up before anybody sees me

and, and I run out behind the house and I got my tools back in there and all that. And I'm trying to glue this thing back together. And the girls came by and say, how, how'd the table break? Dad, what happened to the table?

I don't know what I told him I'm sure wasn't the truth, but it might have been.

But so much of my life had been one of these violent outbursts. Boom. And

quarterback dropped the ball and I kick a table and break it to pieces. And it might have been the same week I'm out in the backyard

cutting the grass and I'm on. This really dates me, Bob. This is before microwaves,

and I remember I'm hungry, and I remember there was a brand new package of Bologna in the refrigerator.

And so I go looking for it and it's frozen in the freezer.

And so I threw it, and I threw it hard enough that it buried itself in the sheetrock on the wall,

stayed right there.

And

there was one other event when things didn't go my way and it might have been the same week and I tore the closet door off.

And if you need that explained to you, we'll do it later. But

that was my first experience after having done step 6:00 and 7:00,

and to this day I don't know what I'd have done differently.

I really did want those defects to be taken away, and maybe that was me being exposed to them. To see how it ain't that is that I stopped doing them. I don't know that, but surely there's a better way. Man,

I broke a lot of stuff that needed fixing and

but that was kind of my experience with it. Just a little bit of different thing. I said the prayer and

as far as I know when I said it, I was as honest as I could be about wanting to be free

of all those defenses that I've had. But boy, they sure showed themselves as it was my experience.

Those guys in Chicago that I talk about will end each each very often. Some of them will just have a conversation on the phone and they'll often end end their conversation saying the 7th step prayer together

over the phone. And the first few times I did it I hadn't had it memorized yet. I felt kind of stupid but

and that that happened again when I swapped fist fest with Laramie with Larry the guy in Douglas, WY. We decided we couldn't leave till we we said the 7th step prayer again right then and there and we did it together and.

So now maybe I'll ask him if any of them are gone yet.

When I had

you get more to say about seven, only one of the things that my sponsor used to tell me, when I would tell him,

I'd say what

I'd say something and he'd he'd look at me and he would say, how the hell would you know?

The first time he said it,

I was offended because I thought I was smarter than he was.

And, you know, somebody looks at me and says, how the hell would you know? It sounds like I'm smart and you're stupid, at least to me.

And I would, you know, I, I'd call him up in tents that something say my, my employer is really angry with me. And he'd go, how the hell would you know,

and go, well, that's what it looks like. And it goes oil. That may be what it looks like, but things are rarely what they seem to be.

And he asked me that question over and over and over again,

and it was one of the best things he ever did for me because it made me question everything. I think

in the real truth about this world is that things are rarely what they seem to be. And in my inclination is to take a piece of information, take it to the worst possible conclusion, and then start living there.

And I'd go, everything's going to hell in a hand basket. And he'd go, how the hell would you know?

And he was right. You know, most of the time when I think thought things were awful, they weren't. So I can walk around making my day miserable thing and being completely wrong about anything.

And one of the things that happens even after you've been sober for a long time is that we suffer from faulty perception.

And so for most of the time, I don't think that we know what the truth is.

So anyway,

after I had

gone up to Chicago and taken fifth steps with those nine guys,

I was instructed go to this restaurant over in LaGrange and had lunch with some of them before I go back to Indianapolis. And I thought it was all over and, and I was tired and, and I had learned a lot and felt a little beat up on.

And we went over there and

had lunch. And after lunch, one of them said, Gary, get your pad and your pencil out. We'll help you with your immense list. And like I said, they had remarkable memories and

and so we did. And so I went down and I listed the amends that we talked about in the inventory. And then Paul asked, how about those amend you owe that you didn't have any resentments at?

And so we listed more out on inventory because a whole lot of money. I've been lying about money and everything else all along with that. And we come up with the immense list and the guys that are three and four years sober and, and one of them that was, that was at that time in his 30s, I guess,

uh, said, how the hell have you stayed sober this long

doing it? And they really believe they were asking a very serious question because that was their experience and they didn't believe you could stay sober doing the way I did. And they're right. I don't know why I did, but but

we went through that list and it became real clear to me. It's just sitting right there with that, that

this is probably my only shot and making this deal

and I don't know why why was so different at that time other than I didn't want to hurt anybody else.

And so took that list and most of the amends on that list at that point in time were financial.

I had lied and cheated my way through life about finances up until that point just completely, I, I had borrowed money. Well, that's what I said it was. I'm borrowing the money to pay you back. And then of course, I never paid you back. And it was,

it was huge. It was just a amount of money. I couldn't conceive me ever being incapable of making enough money to pay him back. I couldn't do it. But I knew the time was as we had to sit down and try it and one of the guys gave me some coaching on how how to set that up

with that. But I, I

I will still make it. I'd still do anything they told me.

Being willing is one thing and

I don't matter. We were. I was listening to Mike

the Sinus one time at this point and he says, you know, that willingness has a sound, you know,

and that's the sound. There can be a doorbell ring. It's not an e-mail, and it may not be a letter probably, but you need to be talking to anyway.

I went together and I went home and I put together a list

on an 18 column column or pad where I lifted everybody I could think of that owed the money to.

And then you went down the pad and see. And then you get a payday and you went out as far as you could make that payday stretch. And then you get another payday and you stretch that one out until it's fresh. And then

at before the end of the day, on payday, you were broke again and you had enough money for gas and groceries to get you through to the next payday. And

that went on for a long time. But that was probably

the only physical evidence I'd ever had about my immense that I was willing to do anything,

because I hadn't been willing to do any of that.

I had. I had made as soon as I couldn't regard, made all the amends I could

that didn't involve money

up until that point. There's one out there that's still out there and

don't know where. Tried quit

definer and that but I can't do it I guess and

so I'm just down to the financial amends and I literally got a list of them going across and many of them were family but not me. I don't have a big family, but my parents and Julie parents and and Julie brother and we were talking about Dick last night owed Dick money and

and all these businesses that were out there and and these debts went back before sobriety and after sobriety. Just because I quit drinking didn't

seem to be necessary to stop lying and cheating.

But

that's what I've done,

and that was my first

real physical vision of the harm I'd caused when I could list them right there in front of me.

Many of them were people that needed the money

that went through that and so I went through that for years and that was a big part of my immense list because most of them were financial

and I was held accountable by Paul.

Seemed like about it was about every Friday and you'd ask me who did you pay this time? I don't know how he remembered them all to this day. Brightest guy ever saw.

Somebody said to me one time, I hope I'm as sharp as Paul is when I get that old and I said, shit, I wish I was that sharp right now.

From that point on, the day finally came what was clear to me. I didn't see an answer other than continually going through that process for the rest of our life,

and I guess I should have thrown into the lottery for a boat, but

I found a different one, found a better one. I

went downstairs one one night after trying to do that and discourage broke again. I'd had a paycheck 3 hours before that. Here we are back in the same boat again and

really feeling sorry, Mark, for myself. And I told Julie, I said, you know,

I don't think I can live long enough or ever make enough money to pay all these bills. I just don't see it happen. I don't have any idea how to do it. And and I sat down the chair and tried to pout and she ignored me. And then

the next morning she said she had an idea.

If you got one of those wives and they say have an idea, watch yourself