Big Book study in McKenzie Bridge, OR

First thing you want to do then is go down to Confederate Ave. Confederate Ave. as the Department of Motor Vehicles or Drivers license Bureau, whatever. It's a big place down there and talk to these people and get some clear cut idea of exactly what how this how this deal is going to go down.

It's OK. He gets a ride down there. He walks up to the wind in this big woman, his butt back behind the window, and she's busy. Typical government employee, right? He says, ma'am, my name is Paul Hill. I'm here to talk with you about my driver's license. And so she puts you in the computer and he pops up. She says that'll be $37,

he says. What do you mean?

She says, Sir, I said it's $37. He says, for what? She says for your license.

He says, excuse me just a minute.

He goes out in the hallway, calls me on his throwaway cell phone. Larry,

this lady says she wants to give him a license for $37. I said yeah,

he says.

She didn't mention any of that other stuff. I said, Paul, go get your license.

So it goes in and he says, would you take a look and see if there's any? She says, Sir, do you want your license or not?

Do you see where this is going? She gives him the license and he calls me up. He's feeling guilty.

I said, tell you what, Paul, just to make you feel better. Hang on. I'm going to call my sponsor. I call my sponsor and my sponsor says, did you tell him to pick up the license? I said yeah. He says, you know what's happened? He's fallen through the spiritual red tape. Here.

You with us. So here's the cool part. Pauls got his license.

There's no DUI requirement. The other three counties that are outstanding have been banished. It doesn't exist anymore. He's got his license. He's walking around a Freeman. He can drive any place on the planet. Freeman can drive. He comes to me, says I need a car.

He says I got a few bucks because I didn't have to get that breathing machine in the school. I said cool. I said, let me ask you something, Paul. If you were to get a car, what would you do with it?

He didn't even have to think. He says I'd fill it up with drugs and take him to meetings. I said ask God for a car.

Paul goes to the how place the next morning for the for The Breakfast Club meeting at 7:00.

He goes to a guy walks in he hadn't seen in five years, one of his old drinking buddies and the guy says, Paul, it sure is good to see you. Do you need a car? My wife and I just bought a new car and we got this Honda Civic. Do you want it? Paul says. How much? He says just come get it.

So Christian and I are doing a book study on Tuesday night. I almost cry every time I tell this.

We're doing this men's book study over over, more and all. We're standing on the sidewalk shooting the breeze before the maintenance little Honda Civic comes pulling in. All four doors open up and look like a clown car with all these drunks falling out.

So he gets his car and he's taking these drunks to meetings and he names the car.

The car is called Lois.

How cool is that?

You do the work and God shows up, man, you need a car. What are you going to do with them? We'll take drugs. He says bingo, got it. The only downside about Paul is that he was a maniacal big book thumper and he'd go into Hal place and tell him how to cow at the cabbage and you need to get God and you're like preaching and thumping book thumping. The book calls me up and he says preaching it. He says Larry, He says, man, he says I got to buy some new tires. I said, really, what's going on? He says came out of the house place and I had a flat.

OK,

calls me a couple days later since I came out of the house place and two of my tires were flat and I said, Paul, are you going in there with that old big book 7UP in people's butts? He says, man, I'm just telling the truth. I said. I got a theory. I said. I said if you'll find yourself another meeting you brought, your tires will probably turn straight right up. He quit going to half place. He hadn't had a flat tire since.

It raises a very good point is my first sponsee thought I was a Dick because I tried to make him like take this information. I tried to make him do the work I tried to make. I tried to tell him what time it was,

hear the arrogance as I would walk into a room full of 20 plus year sobriety and tell them how this thing works and they would just tap my head, tolerate me very very well. And I realized I backed off the

I don't try to tell people how this thing works. I show them how this thing works in my own life. I tell them what the book says. I keep, I desperately try to keep my opinions and ego off of it. I fail, but I try to keep it off of it. And most importantly, when somebody wants what's in this book, I pull them one-on-one, you know, in a room full of men. There's a lot of power in this room, but this thing works for me. My experience, it works real good when I'm down in the dirt with one other

working one-on-one, because that's the magic right there.

We were talking outside yesterday about how magical this place feels. Larry and I know the exact truth that there was some magic here when we walked here on Thursday afternoon.

Well, boy, there's a whole lot of magic that came that was in this place when we walked through the doors Friday after we were up there soaking in that hot tub, we came back and I told Chris, I said this place has come alive, man. Y'all were buzzing around here. See, there was only six or eight of us. We came here and y'all were all doing this. And I went, wow, can you feel that energy? I want to regress just a second. Something I failed to to cover.

We were talking about the prayer and we read this prayer and this is my prayer partner.

It's very important that, you know, I hold this man's hands and I pray with him every week. Here's the key. I have no idea who, where or what he's praying to. I've never asked, none of my business. I don't care. Here's the key. I watch his life and I see God manifested in his life, whatever that is.

You with me here doesn't matter. I don't care. I don't care who you pray to, what you pray to, or how you pray, pray, get God in your life, whatever that means to you. It's just none of my business. I I held hands with six guys last night, got no idea who they were talking to, none of my business. But what I saw was the willingness to huddle up at a Chapel

and intervene and have God intervene. And he was there last night, wasn't he, Tom? All right, let's go. All right, we finished up that last paragraph. We're going to make one reference point. We're going to pick up the bottom of the page 87 as we go through the day. One point is in a lot of the neat history, you know, Ruth Hawke was the original secretary for Alcoholics Anonymous would hand write these letters back and she stumbled across this really cool sounding prayer. It goes something like this. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I

change. And she took Reinhold Nibiru's prayer. He's given some credit for the prayer at least. And she started including it. She thought it was really encompassing of what we do in Alcoholics Anonymous. And the letters being sent back to the groups back in the, in the 40s and 50s would include this prayer. Well, it's coming from central office. It's got to be a A, right? It's no more a A than the Lord's Prayer is, or, you know, the prayer of Saint Francis. You know, those are just prayers that we have adopted as a fellowship. I've run into Saturn meetings

there were predominantly either Native American or predominantly either Jewish or predominantly, you know, and they've adopted their own prayers and the groups have the right to do that. The book suggests read as much as you can and get as much wisdom and and knowledge from all these different sources. Make use of what it is you know, and that's a neat thing that Bill was finally able to back off his staunch prejudice of organized religion and start to adapt and and bring that prayer. The one I use more often than not is a is a summarized

Saint Francis. God help me love, comfort and understand more than I'm loved, comforted and understood. If not members of a religious bodies, we sometimes select and memorize a few sets of prayers which emphasize principle, emphasize the principles we have been discussing. OK, bottom of the page. As we go through the day, we pause when agitated or doubtful. That'll happen for me about 100 times a day. And then we pray, ask for the right thought or action,

constantly reminding ourselves we're no longer running the show,

humbly saying to ourselves many times each day thy will be done. Another prayer. I am then in much less danger of anybody went to I went to a treatment center. It was a homeless shelter, but I went to a treatment center is the only one I could afford. It was a free one. I went there and that was my experience. And they would talk about these things and they hear them in meetings a lot. And it frustrates the hell out of me because I can't find it in our literature. They talk about triggers, people, places and things.

Old girlfriends, old you know your family, old employers, the the the dope man or old bartenders. You know, old stomping grounds.

My book doesn't reference those at all. My the reference they say for triggers is excitement, fear, anger, worry, self pity and foolish decisions. Wow. Those are the things that set me off, get me thinking, get me reacting instead of responding. The book says I become much more efficient. I do not tire so easily. I'm not burning up energy foolishly, as I did when I was trying to arrange life to suit me.

I'm no longer running the show.

I am the actor, not the director. I am the child to my father. I am the employee to my employer. It says it works. It really does. We Alcoholics are undisciplined, so we let God discipline us in the simple way we have just outlined. But that's not all. There's action and more action. Faith without works is dead. Step 12 is the entirely devoted to that. The next chapter this this chapter we're about to go

the 7th chapter. Working with others is the only step that one entire chapter is that is dedicated to. So they think that's pretty important. When all else fail, work with another alcoholic will save the day is what the book tells us. So let's start out on page 89. Practical experience shows that nothing will so much ensure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other Alcoholics doesn't say work. It says intensive work that's getting in the trenches, getting down in the dirt with them.

Get this thing done and all of us have insurance against cars, houses, kids, life insurance, all these different things. So why not take out a little insurance on your recovery? It's only the rest of your life. So how do you do that intensive work with another alcoholic? It works when other activities fail. This is our 12th suggestion. Carry this message to other Alcoholics. Exclamation point. That's an order. You can help when no one else can. You can secure their confidence when others fail. Remember

they're very ill. Now we hear promises about how my life is going to change. I hear promises about how you know different parts of lives and you know things change. They're all program related promises. And this is neat because see, now when I get out amongst you and start carrying this message, now I get fellowship promises. Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover. Not just to see myself recover, but to watch them recover,

to see them help others. Damn.

To watch, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends see, this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. That's what I was talking about when we sat here today. This is the day that we don't like because we've watched this fellowship that you've invited us into. We got to leave you. We got to go back East.

It's not fun because you become a part of our lives. You've let us in.

Y'all are clannish up here, but you let us in.

It's OK. That's OK. Come on, South. I'll show you some clam. We wear the pointy hats. Just kidding.

See, you know what? You can't teach an old dog new tricks, says Woo. Frequent contact with new. You can cut that part out of the

I don't want to necessarily be associated with that. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives. I hope you all knew I was kidding about that. Good.

Perhaps you're not acquainted with any drinkers who want to recover. Well, you can easily find some by going to your nearest clubhouse, asking a few doctors, ministers, priests or hospitals. They got wind up joints here. Detoxes. Yeah. A great place to go. Man. Man, My sponsor, I sponsor a guy who's been doing those meetings for almost four years now, and he does a book study at it, loves it. People in there just buy that. They may not get a whole lot about what he's doing, but he walks out high as a kite every week, loving it. He's like, I'm going to Peachford,

walk out of there feeling better. I know I will

says don't start out. Don't start out as an evangelist or reformer.

Bill's telling you. Don't do what I did.

He was an evangelist and a reformer. He says. Unfortunately a lot of prejudice exists. You're going to be handicapped if you arouse it. Ministers and doctors are competent. You can learn much from them if you wish. But it happens that because of your own drinking experience, you are uniquely useful to other Alcoholics. So we cooperate, never criticize to be helpful as our only aim to be helpful

is your only if that's your only chore right there. We're going to go to the first full paragraph on page 90 says when you discover a prospect for a a find out all you can about them. If they do not want to stop drinking, don't waste time trying to persuade them. Bill's going to tell you this a couple of times here. You know, they've got to be completely willing. They have to have an interest. They got to have a desire or you know, you're teaching a pig to sing. You're going to piss the pig off and you're going to get frustrated,

says You may spoil later opportunity. This advice is then given for his family. Also, they should be patient, realizing they're dealing with a sick person. Page 91, third paragraph

says see your man alone if possible. All right, very key when he's alone,

not you.

And I'm not going to say please do not go on a 12 step call by yourself. I don't care if you know the guy,

my grand sponsor Doc Crandall's laying 6 feet under some under some dirt today.

Atlanta AA icon Scott did more for AA in IRA than anybody else I know. He went over on a 12 step call and 1212 gauge shotgun came out and he tried to get it away from the young man and he took a blast full on in the belly. Do not go on a 12 step call alone. Take somebody with you, because that young man's got a choice of doing two things, taking your life

or taking you back out.

You hear what I'm saying to you? Take somebody else with you, please,

Book says. At first, engage in a general conversation.

How about them Oregon Ducks?

Watch much TV, See the snow lately? I'm back in Atlanta. We're like, how about them Braves? You know, after a while, we turn the talk to some phase of drinking. Tell them about enough about your drinking habits, your symptoms and your experiences to encourage them to speak of themselves. If they wish to talk, let them do so. You're going to get much better idea of how you ought to proceed. If they are not commutative, give them a sketch of your drinking career

up to the time you quit. So you tell them about your escapades, but don't say anything for the moment of how quitting was accomplished. When Bill walked in and talked to Bob, he didn't say Doctor Bob, tell me about your drinking career. He sat down and he told him about how he thought, how he felt, how he drank, and what happened to him after he started. If he's in a serious mood, dwell on the troubles liquor has caused you, being careful not to moralize or lecture. If his mood's light, tell him humorous stories of your escapades. Get him to tell

of his great place for a war story. 12 step call other place for a war story, telling your story from the podium,

but not in a meeting.

They where they're here. They don't need to know how you drank. They want to know how you got better. When we see that, they know all about when he sees we know all about the drinking game commenced to describe yourself as an alcoholic. Tell them how baffled you were, how you finally learned that you were sick. That's key. When I learned that I was not morally corrupt, that I was not broken, that I was not just a bad guy,

I learned I was sick. That was huge.

Give them a count of the struggles you made to stop. Show them the mental's twist, which leads the first drink of a spree. Now, we suggest you do this as we've done it in the chapter on alcoholism. If they are alcoholic, they will understand you at once. They will match your mental inconsistencies with some of their own. And it's the most painfully obvious sign that they understand you. Because it looks just like this.

Yeah, Yeah. Especially when you're like, yeah, I felt like that. Wow. I thought like that. If my alcoholism is all I ever talk about is the DUI or the divorce or losing the career, I may miss somebody. But if I talk about the confusion or the fear or the apprehension or the indecision or the anxiety or the resentment, why talk about all the underlying things? Because, see, I was a dumpster diver. And if I

into a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous and I talk about eating out of dumpsters, what about that alcoholic who hasn't ate out of dumpsters yet? Does that make them any less alcoholic?

Just makes me a bigger knucklehead. That's all it does,

Book says. If you are satisfied there are real alcoholic, that's Christian hit on it last night, Are we qualifying these people? Are we talking to a hard drinker? We talking to an alcoholic? It's important if you're convinced that he's a real alcoholic.

We begin to dwell on the hopeless feature of the malady, talking to him about the allergy. That's the hopeless feature. That's why it kills them. Show them from your own experience how the queer mental conditions surrounding that first drink prevents normal functioning of the willpower. Talk to him about the obsession of the mind, the thought that overrides all of the thoughts.

Don't at this stage refer to this book unless of course, they've seen it and wish to discuss it. And what's probably happened at this point is wife is taking some duct tape and put it under the toilet seat. You know what I'm saying?

Be careful not to brand them as an alcoholic. Let them draw their own conclusion. If they stick to the idea they can control their drinking, tell them that possibly they can if they're not too alcoholic. It's the second time he said. Don't waste your time trying to convince him. I had a situation where a guy says well what about non alcoholic beer? I said

sure if you're non alcoholic.

I'm a big proponent of non alcoholic beer for non Alcoholics.

So it's four. I mean, it's, it's right on the label. So it's 4, isn't it? Non Alcoholics and it And then you can also take them back to 31. Step over the nearest ballroom. Try some controlled drinking. Try it more than once. It says continue, but insist that it be severely inflicted. There may be little chance that they can recover by themselves. Continue to speak of alcoholism as an illness, a fatal malady. Talk about conditions of body and mind which accompany it.

Keep his attention focused mainly on

your personal experience. I don't talk to other people about their drinking. I talk to them about my drinking. Explain that many are doomed to never realize their predicament. Doctors are rightly loath to tell alcoholic patients the whole truth unless it'll serve some good purpose. But see, we can talk to them about the hopelessness of alcoholism because we offer a solution. You're going to soon have your friend admitting he has many, if not all the traits of the alcoholic. If his doctors willing to tell him that he's an alcoholic, so much the better.

They never use the word sponsor or sponsee. They use the word protege and it's a great, great definition

in here. Probably one of the, in my opinion, it's actually a better definition than the word sponsor protege, one who is protected or trained by a person of experience. Wow. I'm going to take him under my wing and show him what to do and how we do it.

Even though your protege may not have entirely admitted his condition, they have become very curious as to how you got well. Let them ask you that question if they will. And here's some squiggly writing. Tell them exactly what happened to you. Stress the spiritual feature freely. If he be an agnostic or an atheist, make an emphatic he does not have to agree with your conception of God.

Larry mentioned that Lady in the detox meeting. Arms crossed, best tough girl. Look, walking out,

ask him the question. Well, do you believe that? I believe? Well, yeah. Cool. Nothing more.

They can choose any conception they like, provided it makes sense to them. The main thing is that we'd be willing to believe in a power greater than yourself and that they live by spiritual principles. Guys, let's take 5 minutes and come back and wrap this puppy up. You don't take needs a little, just a little too, you know, all I want is one and he makes you know. Guys, we're going to wrap it up. Here we are on page 93

somewhere. We just,

here's a key thing.

This is what I work with my sponsors, I'm going to make. I'm going to make a suggestion as to what I do. This is what I do. Most people don't come in here happy and well adjusted with God. We just as a rule, we don't. There's always exceptions.

What I suggest to them is that they can choose their own conception that goes over most people's head. I do what my Spurs sponsor did with me, write a job description and my it was real simple, all powerful, all knowing, all places. As long as I put all those three things in there

for me, my experience is I take them out of any box or constraint that I will ever put them in. Then everything after that is for me. My God loves old Jazz, not this new crap done like Kenny G. He like Sonny Rollins, you know, he likes NCAA sports and not professional because he thinks they give it more heart. You know, he's a, he's a big fan of the Grateful Dead because these people just love to have a good time and shake the tail feathers. You know, that's where I was in 2001.

Today I have a different relationship with my higher power, and I know that I can't conceive or, or or construct any kind of ideas behind them. But for me, that was enough to affect a conscious contact.

But my sponsor also did something that I hadn't thought of. He says make your higher power more powerful than alcohol,

make him more powerful than women, make him more powerful than success or prestige or power.

Because see, I had also up here, I'm thinking it's limited to drugs and alcohol. He says make them more powerful than that. And So what I did is I made that higher power more powerful than all of those things so I could turn to it because like some people will, you'll hear them say that when that problem comes and I can't get him on the phone and I can't get a brother and the fellowship on the phone and the meeting just ended and I'm the wolves are howling. I'm going to have to be able to reach out. And if I don't have a relationship with the master, I'm not

to be able to take his hand. I'm not going to be able to reach out and hold on to this higher power that I've quote UN quote professed, but I don't really have,

you know, that's the rubber meets the road kind of deal in this thing. We have just outlined the spiritual program

and now we are still with this guy and we are outlining the the program of action first full paragraph on page 94.

So we've talked to him about the problem. We've talked to him about the solution

program of action, the top of 94. Explain how you made a self appraisal. Talk to him about your 4th step,

how we straighten out our past 8-9, and why I am now endeavoring to be helpful to him. Step 12. See, it's important for them to realize your attempt to pass this on to him plays a vital part in your own recovery. Actually, they're probably helping you more than you're helping them. Make it plain he is under no obligation to you, that you hope only that he will try to help other Alcoholics when he escapes his own difficulties.

Suggest how important it is that they place the welfare of their own people, of other people, ahead of his own. Become selfless,

make it clear they are not under pressure, they needn't see you again if they don't want to, and you shouldn't be offended if he wants to call it off or he has helped you more than you've helped him. This is what I'm supposed to say, or how I'm supposed to say it. If our talk has been sane, quiet and what full of human understanding, I've perhaps made a friend. Maybe you have disturbed him about the question of alcoholism. That's what our hope is. This is all to the good. The more hopeless they feel, the better they will be more likely to follow your suggestions.

All right, we're going to skip over and to the very top of page 95. And you've ever had a situation where you go to the detox or you go to the treatment center? You got that new guy, you take him with you. He just met him. You take him with you to an, a, a meeting. You swap phone numbers, man. And he calls you and he says I need to talk to you about something really important. Would you meet me at the 8:00? So you show up, you got your cup of coffee, and he says I need to ask you something really important,

Man, I'm feeling that pride start to well up and he goes. Do you think Larry will sponsor me?

Probably

I get attached to the ones that make it. I love the guys that their lives blow up and I I want to take responsibility for the ones that make it. I want to take credit, but we've buried guys. Guys that I've sponsored were in the ground. So I got to be responsible for ones that don't too. And that's too much of A burden to bear. So I God gets the credit. Top is 95 says unless this guy wants to talk further about himself, don't wear out your welcome. Give him a chance to think it over.

If you've disturbed them on the question of alcoholism, there won't be a lot of sleep that night. Yeah. If you do stay, let him steal the conversation in any direction he likes. What do the women like in a A. Sometimes this Newman's anxious to proceed at once. You may be tempted to let him do so. This is sometimes a mistake. If they have trouble later, they're going to likely say that you rushed him. You will be most successful Alcoholics if you do not exhibit any passion for crusader reform. We never talk down to an alcoholic For many moral

spiritual hilltop simply layout the spiritual kit of tools for his inspection. Let him look at him.

We showed them how they worked for us. We offer them fellowship and friendship. We tell them if he wants to get well we will do anything to help. Y'all notice this? It doesn't say that. We tell them how they worked with us. We show him how they worked for us. You know you can. How many of you guys got young kids show of hands? Anybody got like a six, five year old boy?

Five year old girl? Did she fish yet?

OK, when this process began, I'm going to talk directly to you. Did you sit her down at the table and and tell her without any visuals how to tie a hook, how to tie a a family and then how you baited it with either a cricket or a worm or whatever? Did you tell her that? Do you think that she would be successful with that knowledge to go out and catch a fish? No. But if you take her out here and you take the hook and the line in the bait and you show them the proper method

and show them how to jig it or put a cork or whatever it is, likelihood is pretty good they're going to catch a fish.

It's important, and I'm belaboring a point here. Don't tell them. Show them. Much more effective. OK, we're going to skip down. A full paragraph says if they are sincerely interested and they want to see you again, ask them to read this book. In the interval

after reading this book, they must decide for themselves whether they want to go on. They should not be pushed or prodded by you, his wife, or his family. All right. It says after doing that he must decide step three. And it says if he wants to, if he is to find God, that desire must come from within. If they are not hopelessly alcoholic, they will not seek a spiritual solution for their problem if they are not dying from it.

Why do something radical and completely out of left field, like get a sponsor, do a spiritual set of exercises and disciplines in order to? Why would anybody do that unless they have to? Unless they are bound by the alcoholic covenant, which is to drink is to die. Then it goes on to ask the question if they think they can do the job in some other way or they prefer some other spiritual approach, encourage them to follow their own conscience.

This is huge. We have no monopoly on God.

We merely have an approach that worked with us now that's that's so huge because an Alcoholics Anonymous. We talk about Alcoholics Anonymous

in a A in Atlanta, you can find different places and different meetings, well-intentioned, but it's not a A.

It, not sure what it is. Sounds good, but it's not a A. And it's not bad outside the meeting, but in the meeting, in an A A meeting. Let's keep it about a A. This path works. It's worked for thousands and thousands and thousands of people before. This is the approach that we take. This is the path that we're on. We're here this weekend. Glad you're here

and we're not giving you our spent. Every time that we have had a personal opinion, we've clarified that

everything you've heard out of our mouths is out of this book. This is what the 1st 100 did. This was their approach and the approach is key. Where we do our meeting Thursday night in Atlanta, it's the glum lot. We're over in Dunwoody, GA. You can get there from 285 or 85 or 400 or Mount Vernon Highway or Ashford Dunwoody Rd. There's there's like 9 or 10 different ways to get to the same place. They all get there,

you know. Have you done the Donkey Story

Cup? Did you do that? We're all riding donkeys,

everyone of us.

You got these guys over here riding an innate donkey. You got somebody over here riding a Hebrew donkey,

I'm riding at Unity Donkey a a donkey. You got some people riding that Cocaine Anonymous donkey. And then you got the guys riding the Muslim donkeys. And here's the deal. All these donkeys with us on them. We're going up this hill. We're all going to the same place up to the summit. You with us.

But what happens on this, on this, on this journey

is the, the CA guy, the Cocaine Anonymous guy looks over and he says you're, you're a, a donkey's broken. And he shoots it, takes a shot at it.

And then that Muslim donkey's growing up there and he looks over the guy riding the Hebrew donkey and he says that's a sick donkey and blows his brains out.

You see my point here? The deal is this, I don't care what donkey you're on. If you're on this slope, you're going the same place I'm going. My donkey may not be as fast as yours, but we're all going to get there. And it doesn't matter. It's this approach, this approach, this a, a donkey I'm on is working for me and it's working just fine. But, and I, I bought this donkey from a big old corral full of a, a donkeys because I saw some other guys riding that same guy. You know it's sad though.

Donkey's got Chrome and leather and it's butts and sputters and makes a potato, potato, potato noise. All right, that's enough of the donkey story. All right,

next time it ain't gonna be no donkeys. We're all riding motorcycles. Honda boys are going to get some heat, some scooter trash up in here.

We merely have an approach that worked with us, but point out Alcoholics have much in common. We would like in any case, to be friendly and we let it go at that. All right, flip a do not be discouraged if he does not respond at once. This guy, I'm going to lighten this up a little bit. There's this dyslexic a a woman

and she goes to her sponsor one night after a meeting and she says spots, She says I've got a horrible problem with sex. It's killing me. And the sponsor says cool, you know, there's a whole section in the book dedicated to sex problems. She says really? She says go home and repaid 69. It's all right there. So this dyslexic

new a A woman goes home. She pulls a book down from the shelf and she flips over. She's supposed to go to 69, but she flips to 96 and here's what she hears.

Not be discouraged if he does not respond at once. Search out another alcoholic and try again.

You are sure to find someone desperate enough to accept with eagerness what you offer. We find it a waste of time to keep chasing him in who cannot or will not work with you

believe such a person alone. They may soon be convinced they cannot recover by themselves. And to spend too much time on any one situation is to deny some other alcoholic the opportunity to live and be happy. So she's she's she's thinking cool, I'll just keep hunting. But if you're in my sponsorship family

and you come to me and you we talk about the problem, whatever it is, I'm going to give you an exercise, some work to do on it and you go away. Couple days later you get with me and you say we're talking about that same problem and I'm going to say, did you do what we discussed? Well,

no, I'm going to say you got read page 96 and get back to me because this is a deal. I'm not going to chase you. It's not my job. I don't own you. I'm not your boss or mom, your banker, not your. I'm not your jailer, your bondsman.

I'm here to merely show you the path that I've been on. And you're going to go to this page if you're in my family and you're in your stubborn or resistant to the work, OK?

Goes on to say that one of our fellowship failed entirely with his first half dozen prospects. Bill's writing this. OK, So he writes it in a third person, kind of, you know, one of us failed entirely with this first half. You know me,

he often says that if he had continued to work on them, he might have deprived many others who have since recovered. Is that silly word again of their chance? All right. We visited him once. Suppose now we're making our second visit to this man. He has read this book

and he says he is prepared to go through with the 12 steps of the program of recovery. That's key because guess what? He's read about making amends. He's read about praying. He's read about going out and helping others. None of this is going to be new to him. It may not make a lot of sense, but at least he's going to be advised aware of the fact that he's going to be making an inventory. You know, if he's read this volume, prepared means he's made a decision. Third step. So having had the experience yourself,

you can then give him much practical advice.

It's kind of like a sponsor, doesn't it? Let them know you're available if they wish to make a decision. Third step and tell their story. Step 4:00 and 5:00, but do not insist upon it if he prefers to consult someone else. Page 98 please. First full paragraph. Bill spends a number of different paragraphs going over the exact same scenario. Dependence upon God ahead of dependence upon man.

I like the way Kip and Charlie tuck their stories work out together. Kip was getting a ride every night for a week to a different meeting and Charlie would take him to a different meeting and drop him off, take him home. After the meet

day #8 rolls around, he calls Charlie, where are we going tonight? He goes, I don't know where you're going. I've shown you 7 meetings. Get your ass to a meeting. You know, get in the car is a great first kind of out the gate kind of deal. I'll show you where we do it. This is where we go. This is where we gather. This is what we do. But if I start, they're dependent upon me to do it. I'm in trouble almost myself

because I I catered to him. He lived across town and got get him, take him for dinner, give him money, buy him cigarettes, cigarettes. And guess what? He depended on

me, not God. And I got a call one night. He's killing himself. I had to go over there and we beat down the door of EMTs and and the DeKalb County cops and he settled down in his underwear in a closet, cussed me for a dog. How dare you call the police and and, and the hospital on me. I said, call me telling me you're going to kill yourself again and I'll do it again. But that was it. I mean,

page 98 says it's not the matter of getting that is in question, but when and how to give. There we go.

That often makes the difference between failure and success. The minute we put our work on a service plane, the alcoholic commences to rely upon our assistance rather than upon God. They clamor for this and that, claiming they cannot master alcohol until their material needs are cared for. Shortest sentence in the whole book. Nonsense.

Some of us have taken very Hard Knocks to learn this truth. Job or no job, wife or no wife, we simply will not stop drinking as long as we place a dependence upon other people ahead of a dependence upon God. There you go, that's another promise. So we burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that they can get well regardless of anyone. Only condition is that they trust in God and clean house.

Skip over the bottom of page 99,

last paragraph. Let no Alcoholics say they cannot recover unless they have their family back.

That just isn't so. Please highlight and underline that because you're going to hear that just ain't true. In some cases, the wife will never come back for one reason or another. Remind the prospectus, recovery is not dependent upon people. It is dependent upon his relationship with God. You know, it's funny how much they beat the God thing in. You know, we talked about God a lot and three talked about God a lot. 6 and seven we talked about God a lot. The end of nine into 10 and 11, a man,