Big Book study in McKenzie Bridge, OR

You have an 8 step list, you know, I got my guys and we do this thing like y'all, we got a big fire pit and they do a big spiritual bonfire. You got a fire out here.

If you're here doing a fist step and you're thinking, God, I'm not glad with that, I'm going to burn this thing. Don't do it. You're burning up some really cool information because what you're going to do is you're going to transcribe that thing. This was devised by Joe and Charlie. This is a cool little tool. Use it if you will. Do it the way you want, but this is cool. What you do is you take these people, places and institutions that you're willing. What is the step Site

made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them. All became willing to make amends.

These are the people that are the easy ones, the ones that are convenient. Mom,

best friend,

you're pretty sure these are going to go pretty good. So you list all these people you're willing to make amends to. Now

then these guys are the later guys. These are like, say, for instance, let's just say for instance, the IRS, because you owe, you owe money and you don't want to raise your hand yet because you're not prepared,

because you're going to make amends. You're not going to call the IRS and say, by the way, I'm sorry, I hadn't paid you anything in 15 years. These are the guys you're going to talk to later. There could be a number of reasons why they fall within this category. Then you got these guys over here,

you're just not sure, but so you're going to put them down here anyway. These are the maybes,

and you all know who these are.

There's a bunch of hers in that column.

Never.

Here's what happens. This is a trick and we'll give it up. You go to mom and your best friend

and you make direct amends. Direct amends is this. You look them in the eye and you say,

I'm, I'm sorry, I stole the cash out of your purse.

You pay it back 100 bucks, whatever it was, and I'll never do that again. To make an amends and recover this tomorrow is to change by adding to or taking away. But you make these amends in a NOW column and you get them done and they go pretty good.

So you're thinking, are you? What you've got is a taste of the process and they go pretty good

and you go, wow, this isn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. So you complete these guys, everything moves over a column.

You got your feet wet. So then so the laters become nails, the maybes become laters, and the nevers become maybes. You with me.

It's a pretty cool process. I don't know about your immense process. I don't know about your history. I've been a bad guy. I've been a real bad guy. And when I started this process,

the guy that taught me how to cook free base down in Jacksonville, FL, we were in broadcast together. He had come to Atlanta

and he's done this, kicking me out of his house while I'm crawling around his floor.

And I went into his office at a TV station where we both worked and I'd gotten fired from for guess what? And

I went in and I sat down because I needed to make amends. I'd stole them from the sky and I'd done a lot of horrible things to them. I threatened his life at telling to my run. September of 87, I called him up and told him I kill him in a minute. I went in his office. I said, oh dude, my wife has changed. I'm here to do this process. He said get the hell out of here. And he got it for mine, his desk, and chased me out the studio.

Now this guy was doing the same stuff I was doing, only I was destructive, man. I was burning that wide, deep, flaming path through my my life and theirs.

It's because he knew me. He knew what I was capable of. He'd known me for years in Jacksonville and up here and, and, and as the years passed, he watched me from afar through other people, and he kept tabs on me and what's happened. Sheldon has let me into his life over the last 10 years.

I'm a flooring contractor back in Atlanta. I was a little flooring business. I've gone into Sheldon's house with a key to let myself in and out

and to do projects in his home where his belongings are.

He trusts me. But he did that didn't happen overnight. He didn't trust me. He threw me out of his office. So it's attraction rather than promotion. He watched the walk and he invited me back in his life. And today that that relationship is unshakable. And I've had other other. I went to a guy that owed some money to

and he says man, he says keep your money. I'm so grateful me and so many other people are so grateful you're not behaving that way. So I've had that's the bad result or the not so good result. And I've had

great results where people welcomed me and I disclosed what my problem was thinking they didn't know and everybody knew all along. Eight step, you made a list of all the people you formed and became willing to make amends to them all. It doesn't say that you made amends, it says you became willing to.

Any questions on this?

Where we at,

Y'all? Go get a good night's rest. I'll see him here in about 8:00 in the morning. Thank y'all.

Morning y'all,

as we opened up our sessions on Friday. We

we told you that we have the opportunity and the privilege of doing this all over the place and it never fails. This is the morning that we or we dread

because what's happened at this vantage point is your faces, your emotions, and the memory of this weekend goes with us. It's really difficult to leave,

never fails, and this weekend is no different.

My name is Larry Scott and I'm an alcoholic, Larry, and I'm free this morning.

I'm going to start this thing out this morning

with a little piece that's some dialogue from the movie. My name is Bill W, and if you saw the movie, there's a scene where

it's the living room. Bills just come down from another drunk

loss, comes home from work season, peering out the window,

hanging up her coat. She walks in the room and asks

does it have anything to do with me?

You're drinking.

No, it's not you, it's me.

Why?

Why do you do it to yourself?

I've been standing here all afternoon asking myself the same question.

I lookout the window and watch the normal people walking by and it's funny,

I don't think I've ever felt normal. Not really normal all my life.

I mean like other people, I feel different somehow.

I don't really miss,

I don't really measure up.

Ever since I can remember I've had this feeling deep down inside my gut,

scared.

I see people laughing with these and with each other.

I'm on the outside looking in.

I'm afraid that I won't be accepted.

And then overseas, I found that a drink,

a few drinks, makes me feel comfortable, like I always want to feel, gives me courage to be with people, to do things, to dream.

The money, the respect, the success. It was all good for a while, but it never seems enough.

I always want double S of everything to make me feel alive, worthwhile, inside.

But then it all began to slip away. I feel cheated, angry, always full of fear. So I drink more

and it makes me feel OK for a while.

I convinced my things that that things will turn around tomorrow

soon, that I'll make it all up to you.

But it only gets worse.

I I keep promising you others myself. That's it.

And I think I mean it, but the guilt and depression,

I can't look in the mirror or at you.

Especially at you.

I've stopped believing in everything, people, God, myself.

I know it sounds in Sign Louis,

but in spite of all this, what I want right now more than anything else is another drink.

We ended last night's session embarking on Step 8,

which is where we made a list of all people we had harmed and became willing to make amends to. The Mall

brings us into page 76, somewhere near the bottom.

My name is Christian Proctor. I'm an alcoholic,

3rd paragraph down right in the middle of the paragraph it says. Now we go out to our fellows and repair the damage done in the past. We attempt to sweep away the debris which is accumulated out of our effort to live on self will and run the show ourselves.

If we haven't the will to do this prayer, we ask until it comes.

Remember, it was agreed at the beginning we would go to any links for victory over Alcohol. Earl Hightower talks about this thing. You know, how free do you want to be? How free do you want to be? You know as how free do you want to be? You want a little bitty baby buzz or do you want a big buzz? You know, that's the thing, man. This is where a lot of people Peter out.

They get a list

and they haven't had a drink in a minute.

They haven't really wanted a drink in a minute

and they Peter out, Book says. Probably there's still some misgivings. As we look over the list of business acquaintances and friends we have heard, we may feel diffident about going to some of them on a spiritual basis. Let us be reassured to some people we need not and probably should not emphasize the spiritual feature on our first approach. We might prejudice them.

At the moment we are trying to put our lives in order, but this is not an end in itself. Our real purpose is to fit ourselves, to be a maximum service to God and the people about us.

It's seldom wise to approach an individual who's still smart from our injustice to him and announce that we've gone religious and the prize ring. This would be called leading with the chin. Why lay ourselves open to being branded as a fanatic or a religious bore? We may kill a future opportunity to care a beneficial message,

but this man is sure to be impressed with a sincere desire to set right the wrong. They are going to be more interested in a demonstration of goodwill than in our talk of spiritual discoveries. Demonstration of goodwill as you walk in the door with money, leading with money,

you know, built all this. You're going to see so many examine so much of Bill Wilson story and his experience working these steps and then going out and dragging drunks off bar stools and trying to shove the Bible in their butt and trying to hammer them with this spiritual experience that he had.

Can't do it. You know, we don't carry the drunk, we carry the message and Dominoes delivers. If my intention to go out and to carry this message is that you receive it,

can't do it. The book is going to tell us a little later. We're sure to find somebody who will accept with eagerness what you offer. Not everybody in this room really cares about what we've shared up here this weekend.

There's a couple people in this room who needed to hear it more than anything else. We're not really sure who those people are,

but they're going to turn around and they're going to take that enthusiasm and hopefully we can fan those flames and continue this kind of work because there's there's Alcoholics dying every day around us who may never know the truth.

So it says we don't use this as an excuse for shying away from the subject of God when it will serve any good purpose. We're willing to announce our convictions with tact and common sense. The question of how to approach the man we hated will arise. It may be He has done us more harm than we have done him,

though we may have acquired a better attitude towards him.

When did that happen? Wait a minute, I started praying for him in a fourth step. I started praying that that poor sob gets all the love, comfort and understanding that I want for myself. I view them as a sick friend. Wow. I showed them. Ask God to help me, show them patience, tolerance and pity that I would cheerfully grant to a sick friend. God starting a mighty work in my life when I start a fourth step.

Please do not misunderstand, Riding a four step is important,

but the healing does not come in the writing. The healing comes in the prey. Here, in a ninth step, I'm walking out to somebody I hated and guess what? My attitude towards him has suddenly changed. Wow. I mean, it says we're not. I may not still be too keen about admitting my faults. Nevertheless, with a person I dislike, I take the bit in the teeth. It's harder to go to an enemy than to a friend, but I find it is much more beneficial to me.

I go to them in a helpful and forgiving spirit,

confessing my former ill feeling and expressing my regret. And you don't have to go in there and reopen that can of worms and talk about all the good, the bad and the ugly. We both parties knows what that is. And kind of a, an overview of, of this section of the book. This thing is going to go through a whole bunch of what ifs and maybes, and we're not going to go there because

most situations are different and all they're doing is giving you some high points on some possible scenarios.

And you know what all those could be, and there's no sense in covering those. But in a general way, we're going to cover some of that here this morning. Most importantly, the Big Book does not tell us what we're supposed to say.

It tells us how we're supposed to say it. It doesn't give us guidelines on how we're supposed to walk in there and lay it all down on the table and explain it, this, this, this, and this. It tells us what our attitude and outlook are supposed to be, what our prayer life is supposed to be. It gives us great suggestions on how I'm walking in there with the Creator of the universe. No longer am I running the show. And it's so important. And we touch on that helpful and forgiving spirit. Wow.

And I don't tell my sponsees what they're supposed to do.

I quit playing God when I made my third step decision. Doesn't mean I don't try to wrestle the reins back. But I don't know what God's got planned for my sponsee. So when they walk in, I suggested them. Helpful and forgiving Spirit and a couple other suggestions in here as far as attitudes and outlooks book suggests. Under no condition do I criticize such a person or argue. I simply tell them that I will never get over drinking until I have done my utmost to straighten out the past.

I am there to sweep off my side of the street,

realizing nothing worthwhile can be accomplished until I do so, never trying to tell them what they should do. Their faults are not discussed, period. I stick to my own. If my manner is calm, frank, and open, I'll be gratified with the results.

Skip down another paragraph. This is something I'm sure nobody in here can relate to. It says most Alcoholics owe money. That doesn't exist out here, does it? Southeast is notorious, especially around Atlanta.

We do not dodge our creditors telling them what we're trying to do. We make no bones about our drinking. They usually know it anyways, whether we think so or not. Nor am I afraid of disclosing my alcoholism on the theory it may cause financial harm. Approached in this way, the most ruthless creditor will sometimes surprise us, arranging the best deal I can. I let these people know that I'm sorry my drinking's made me slow to pay.

I must lose my fear of creditors no matter how far I have to go

for I am liable to drink if I am afraid to face them. There's a pretty much a death threat right there. Now this arranging the best deal you can, that's an important thing. Let's say US Sears piece of money. You haven't paid them in a long time. When you approach those people,

it's a good idea.

Strong suggestion that you have a plan in mind.

Owe you $1000. Here's 75 bucks and and I wanted to see if I could work a deal with you where I can give you $25.00 a month until the balance is paid off including interest and late fees. Will that work for you? You're arranging the best deal you can. You don't call up and say, you know what, I just got out of the spin dry and the jitter joint and

I'm not working. Sorry I haven't paid you. They don't want to hear that. They don't want to hear that. You call them up with a little piece of money and make an arrangement to pay them their money. It's their money that you're paying back.

All right, we're going to skip over top of 79. Just going to go into one another prayer. That first full paragraph starting out with all though, we're going to skip to the third line where it says reminding ourselves we have decided to go to any lengths to find a spiritual experience prayer. I ask that I be given strength and direction to do the right thing no matter what the personal consequences may be. A sponsor, a guy back home named Jacob. Jacob sitting down in a Starbucks parking lot.

As we're drinking coffee.

He starts to slink down in his chair. You know the look,

I look over my shoulder and there's a Cobb County cruiser coming up right behind him.

And I looked at him and I said, you got warrants, don't you? And he said, Yep. I said, what are you going to do when you're driving home from work one night and you see Blues in your rear view? What are you going to do? Are you going to punch it? Because chances are he's not looking for you. But is that fear going to tell you to run? Is that fear going to command what you do? And he goes, yeah, I said, how free do you want to be? So he arranged the best deal he could, got his lawyer to meet him down at the.

Rice Street, which is the Atlanta Fulton County Jail. Not a real pleasant place to be.

Turned out it was going to be 3 hours, he was going to be bailed out and he was going to just wait until his trial.

That was his plan.

Three weeks later,

he's feeling the pinch. Guess what he's doing while he's sitting behind the wall?

He's 12 stepping guys. God had other plans for Jacob. Jacob went in front of the judge who's going to give him 28 years He intend to distribute. He had possession and he was his second or third charge on both of those things. They're going to slap him and they're going to put him down for a while. The judge looked at him. Guess who didn't show up? His lawyer. But guess who did? God gave him 90 days in the county doing a little farm work. He called me as he got out,

went and saw me speak that night and tears of joy running down his face because he knew he's supposed to be buried for 28 years.

He didn't get 28 years. He got 90 day slap on the wrist just this past year. He called me one morning and left me a long, detailed voicemail. I don't have to report to anybody this morning. There's nobody looking for me. I'm free, I'm not loose,

I'm free. And there's a big difference being I don't bond is nice, but not having any paper on you, not having anybody looking for you and not having a report to no one, free. Now when he told his halfway house that he was living in that this is what my sponsor and I have come up with, they thought, dude, that's a bad idea man. I wouldn't turn myself in for nothing,

the book says, reminding ourselves we've gone to any lengths to find a spiritual experience. He was given the strength and direction to do the right thing, no matter what the personal consequences may be. His daughter will not know her father behind bars,

living one day at a time in this program. He's never gonna have to pick up a drink, and she'll never have to see him high or drunk again. That's a gift right there. We're going to flip over to page 83,

second paragraph, The Spiritual Life.

There's prayers throughout. This 2 lines up from where we're starting right now is another prayer. Please don't ever misunderstand the intention of the 12 steps. They are designed to bring about a spiritual experience. I get caught up sometimes thinking that what I read out of this book is going to fix me. No it won't. That what I do in a meeting will fix me. No it won't. This book is all about God. It's all about God. It's all about God. It goes on to saying that next paragraph,

Spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it. Unless our family expresses a desire to live upon spiritual principles, we think we not ought to urge them. We should not talk incessantly to them about spiritual matters.

My family will change in time. My behavior will convince them more than my words. I have to remember 10 or 20 years of drunkenness will make a skeptic out of anyone. Then it says there may be some wrongs I can never fully right. I don't worry about them if I can honestly say to myself that I would write them if I could.

Some people cannot be seen. I send them an honest letter. I've got a sister-in-law back in Atlanta and

I could be in the same room with her, but she wouldn't let me talk to her.

And what I did in that situation, I don't condone. But I carried the, the resentment and the amends way, way, way, way past its due date. And I finally wrote the letter to call my sponsor and I said I'm, I'm, I'm ready because I wanted these amends to go down on my terms. I wanted to see her. I wanted to, I wanted her to invite me over for chicken, you know,

since I've been such a stand up guy and

he said write the letter. So I wrote the letter, called him back. I read the letter. He said mail it. Here's the key. When I opened the box, I put the letter in and pulled up the flag. As soon as I pulled up the flag, I was free. And here's why. I didn't expect anything to come back from that. I didn't expect her to say, my God, Larry, you're such a great guy. We got chicken and salad this Sunday. Come on over. Never happened, never expected it. I don't know

happened with her getting that letter, but what happened with this alcoholic is I got free. She doesn't rent any space with me anymore. My side of the street swept off I'm good. Larry touched on it and it's so vital. I can't tell you how many phone calls I feel from one of my guys going. They wouldn't accept my amends.

So what does the book say? It shouldn't matter. We're there to sweep off our side of the street. Whether they accept it or not is none of your business. Did you mean it when you said it? Well, yeah. Then you made your amends,

you know and I got a guy a sponsor went back to South Carolina to make amends to two ex girlfriends. They were in the now column. They were going to be easy ones right First door he knocks on she opens it up smiles and starts crying and says oh Craig. She throws her arms around him. Now of course I forgive you. He calls me after he leaves. He goes that went great I'm going to go hit the other one. Now he's walking in all puffed out knocks on that door. Little different response on this one. She custom for a dog and told him

all up and down how he had heard her, how you inflicted himself upon her, how her life had not been the same since he ran through her life. He called me on the way home saying that didn't go so good and I said hold on, that went great. You have no mistakes in your head as to whether or not you hurt her. You felt the pain of that. And the best example I have in my own experience, as I sat down to make amends to my mom for the first time, as I slid a little stack of money across,

she just looked at it, looked at me and pushed it back. She says you have no idea,

keep your damn money. Can you give me those six months back that I didn't know if you were alive or dead? Can you give me those six months of sleepless nights knowing that you were hurting, knowing that you were dying and not sure if there was a hospital going to call and ask? You asked me to come down and report and to identify a dead body. Waiting on sheriff's deputies to come and knock on my door saying we have your son. Can you give me those months back? You robbed me of six months of my life. How dare you.

Now, my relationship with her as a result of doing the 12 steps is a lot better today,

but that just shows you the arrogance. I thought a little piece of money was going to buy some Peace of Mind and it didn't. That's the reason I'm such a big proponent of face to face, eyeball to eyeball, immense. You know, today my mom, she, they gave me a key to their house. They let me come over and do yard work. She lets me come over and do yard work for her.

That trust that I lost, she gave it back. And it's most dramatic. My mom carried a purse with her everywhere for 15 years. After I started stealing from her purse, she carried it everywhere. I thought she was like losing it one day when I came home and the purse was on the table and she wasn't in the room.

Mom, you feeling OK? I'm thinking something's going on,

I said. Your purse is on the table and you're in the other room. She go. I trust you.

If you had told me that all I could ever feel in this of this program was that I wouldn't have to drink again, I would have taken it at that face value. But if you had told me I would get myself respect back, then I would get my dignity back. Then I would get trust with people I know love and respect back. Then I would get those intangibles. We never put value on them until we lost them and then to get them back

the car, the job and the girl, those are easy to get back. Self respect and dignity

things that you I mean, I gave them away with a drink and I got them back as a result of doing this work with God in my life.

Oh yeah, says there may be a valid reason for postponement in some cases, but we don't delay if it can be avoided. Here's how my directions for doing a ninth step. I should be sensible, tactful, considerate and humble without being servile or scraping. Let's talk about servile.

Servile. You got one of these little dictionaries. They're handy in this case. Servile, slave, like an attitude, submissive, feeling less than

subservient. And then there's this scraping deal, which we're all really familiar with. Irritating, harsh, quarrelsome, aggravating. Yeah, If I walk in to drop off 50 bucks that I owe a guy and I throw it on his desk saying here's your damn money, that's scraping. And you don't walk in looking at your shoes all beat down like a dog either. Look at them in the eyes. Because it's God's people. We stand on our feet,

this book says. And somebody suggested to me that if I'm continuing to make amends to somebody that I've made amends to, I didn't make the amends. Yeah.

All I am is walking on egg shells, feeling guilty and remorseful. And if I made it, them accepting it as a condition, I'm putting a condition on the amends. I'm still playing God. They don't accept it. That's their side of the street. Book says as God's people, we stand on our feet. We don't crawl before anyone. And here's this document that we hear in all these meetings. Let's break it down so we understand what what they're really saying in these meetings. You have

you've made this list

and you've gone out and you've made direct amends to people direct is I'm looking you in the eye and I'm righting the wrong that I did to you and I'm doing it so that I can see how you accept that immense

it's important emails, phones, letters. You can't see what's really happening there.

I can cover up a whole bunch of stuff in an e-mail,

but it says if you are painstaking about this phase of your development, you're going to be amazed before you're halfway through with this process.

You are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. How cool is that?

You're not going to regret the past

nor wish to shut the door on it because you never know when your past is going to give you or that new guy a hand. Says that you're going to comprehend the word serenity

doesn't say you're going to know it. You're going to comprehend it. You're going to begin to to get a sense of what that is and you're going to know peace.

God,

remember that gut boiling and rolling and you're nervous and you're just all tied up and knots that ain't peace says you're going to know peace. And then it says no matter how far down the scale you've gone, you're going to see how your experience is going to help that new guy that's coming because he's coming. God's got away a hand picking these dudes and popping them in our life that are just like us. And he can say I did that. I thought that I felt that

you with me,

that feeling of uselessness and self pity will disappear.

We'll lose interest in selfish thing. After all, in our goal to become selfless

and gain interest in our fellows, self seeking will slip away. I'll do that for you.

But what's in it for me? I never did anything without a hook in it. The hook goes away.

Our whole attitude. This is the attitude we've been talking about. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.

Fear of people,

one in itself,

not scared of people anymore. I'm really good at with with walking up and and being with other folks in or out of this program. Second part of that is that we're going to lose fear of economic insecurity. That one confused me for a lot of years.

About a year and a half ago.

Two years ago,

all the walls come crumbling down

and I'm not going to tell you that part of my story because it's just not that important. But economically, things were were done and it was dead of the winter. We got cold winters back home. We actually had some of this stuff last weekend, but they came and cut my gas off.

She had left and I didn't see any. Any relief on the horizon. I was living in the middle of economic insecurity.

Here's the key. I had No Fear of it.

My prayer partner here, we hung onto each other and I was very honest with him and my sponsor and those about me where I was. But I knew God was coming because you told me He was. You told me you did what you said, Larry. You did the work.

Do you have faith? Yeah. Well, if you got faith, not a belief or a hope or a hunch, but a faith. God's coming. It's just when I'm sitting there freezing my butt off, I'm thinking, I sure wish you wore a wristwatch and get his butt on over here because I'm ready. I'm ready for some gas. But I knew God was coming and I knew he was going to show up. And he has every time. He didn't look at his watch

two years ago and say, you know what?

I brought this jerk along for 19 years and I think I'm just going to drop him on his butt today. So

not the way God works, man. I know he's coming,

I'm just not certain when because he doesn't synchronize his watch with mine so I lost fear of economic insecurity.

We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. Things that used to just completely get us all sideways makes sense now we know how to handle those things.

We'll suddenly realize that it's God that's doing for us what we weren't doing for ourselves.

And then the first 100 asked, are these extravagant promises? And they say, no, we think not because they're being fulfilled among us. The 1st 100 and they're being fulfilled among us. Sometimes quickly if you really want to do the work and sometimes slowly if you're kind of dragging your feet,

goes on to say, but they will always materialize if we work for them. That's the end of step 9. Anybody got any questions on this?

I know Larry didn't mean this when he what what, but the inflection could possibly be interpreted that the faster you do the steps, the faster you're going to get to the finish line. And I sponsor a number of guys who have done the work and they're still going through hard times.

The apartment that they live in or the house they live in or the car they drive or the woman they're married to is not a reflection of God's love for them. The absence of those things is not a reflection of God's love for them.

They've got what the book promises, freedom from alcohol. They're no longer a slave to it. They've recovered. But whether or not I I live in an apartment, Larry lives in a house. Does God love me any less that I live in an apartment? Have I worked the steps any slower? Because no, We get caught up sometimes in the stuff that means nothing because we threw it away easily.

And the things that are the intangibles which are the most important, which are what these promises talk about

things in this. And these intangibles right here have nothing to do with material possessions. Because I've had a guy who's working through a tough time right now and he wants to have that prosperity. And I got to remember God is not in the prosperity business. And I have another guy who talks about wanting that woman. God ain't a pimp,

you know. The absence of a woman, or the absence of her career or the absence of this is not the absence of God. Please don't interpret it that way. And I'm probably preaching to the choir here, and I apologize if I get on, but sometimes we get caught up in the stuff and comparing our insides against other people's outsides. And at 7 years of sobriety, I do it. And I can't forget that the book does not promise me stuff. The book promises me a quality of life, a Peace of Mind, a content heart, and arrested soul.

This brings us to Step 10, and it's real important that we have this little conversation with you. Fellowship will tell you that 1011 and 12 are maintenance steps.

Why would you want to maintain where you're at

book doesn't tell you these are maintenance steps. The book size, which suggests we continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along. We vigorously that's forcefully and energetically commenced began this way of life as we cleaned up the past and then it says promise we have entered the world of the spirit. Here's your next function to grow.

Does it say our next function is to maintain

10/11/12 are growth steps

continue to take personal inventory It says sought through prayer meditation to improve that's not maintained you with us here. How many people are planning on staying in this room for the rest of their life. This particular room at Saint Benedict's Lodge.

All right, That's what I thought. We have entered the world of the Spirit.

We don't stay in the world of the spirit. We enter it. Guess what takes us out? Resentment, fear, misconduct, dishonesty and consideration, Selfishness, self seeking. That takes us out of the realm of the spirit we're into. We're doing this. This is the realm of the spirit. We just kind of keep going over and above it, in and out of it. In and out of it. The book tells me we're never going to be completely in it. We won't. God doesn't remove it. We're not washed white as snow.

We're alcoholic. We have a program that keeps us,

if we practice it in a manner of living which allows us to re enter the world of the Spirit and to stay as close as possible to it. But I'm going to step outside of it. I'll watch him step outside of it on a regular basis. We do that because that's what we do,

you know, But The thing is about the program is it's a set of principles, spiritual in nature. But the whole point of this is so that I can come back to the realm of the spirit, you know, and then I'm going to find another thing that's going to take me back out and then it's going to be nudged back in. But a lot of people said that, well, I'm in the, I'm in the realm of the spirit now. And I was like, no, you just entered it. You, you can stay as long as you

not act human, but you're going to enter out and they're in, enter, exit out, enter in. And it's such a neat thing as my, that helped me a lot because I'm sitting there under the delusion that I'm just God's favorite kid. Just for the record, it's Kip Collins and he'll tell you that he's God's favorite kid. But I, I have that delusion that I'm going to just completely be cool with God every time, man. Sometimes I'm not cool with God. Sometimes I'm mad with God. Sometimes I want nothing to do with God.

You know, we're we're paint this very pious and and like high, you know, platform that we're supposed to achieve to be.

The book tells me I'm never going to reach it. I continue to grow in understanding and effectiveness. That's the reason I do this.

It suggests that we have entered the world of the Spirit. Our next function is to grow an understanding and effectiveness. It gives us a time frame. It's not an overnight matter.

It's good should continue for our lifetime. So I continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. Step 4. When these crop up because they're going to, I ask God prayer at once to remove them. Step six and seven. I discussed them with someone immediately. Step 5. And I make amends quickly. Step 8-9. Especially if I've harmed anyone, then I resolutely turn my thoughts to somebody I can help. Step 12. Now, my first sponsor gave me the best example of this as I walked right by him in the 8111 parking lot after I

to him twice that day on the phone. I'll walk by him, finish my cigarette, went into the meeting, somebody asked if they had something they needed to talk about. I raised my hand and I dumped.

He pulled me aside afterwards. He goes, I walk up to you and I shoot you in the foot. Are you gonna wait until an 8:00 meeting to go and get it fixed? I said no, because why did you call me twice today? And this not a this never came up once. No. But it you were sitting on it. Yeah. How come you didn't pull me aside in the parking lot? I don't know