The 6th Anniversary of the New Beginnings Group in High Point, NC

Thanks girl. Anyway,

I love you too. Want you to speak up back there. Oh, I'm loud.

I'm real loud. Usually speaking up, hitting what people are asking me to do. But but I'm glad you did.

I'm a recovered alcoholic named Reed Martin

and I forget things too. I was just kidding there, Curly. It's actually made me feel a little bit better. I always take my book, big book, whenever I go anywhere for for a couple of reasons. One is because I forget things and I'll say I'm wrong and and get things kind of sideways and and I don't want to screw up this message that gave me this life I have and I and I want to stick to. Oh, wow, you made it. It's good to see you. My wife's here. That's a pretty girl over there.

So

and he worked all day and and then made it over here. That's awesome.

Yeah, I don't, I I don't want to mess up the message. And let's see, what do we got left. It's almost time to hand out the chips. And

no, it's, it's a real honor to, for, for a couple of reasons. But to come to a, you know, a gathering that's a celebration. Like you guys are having all the great food and all the people who work to put it together and put together the group and hear about the history of how it started. People want wanted to get sober

and look at how it's grown. You know, you know, move from what a garage to here and here ain't going looks like y'all going to be moving again

because it's going to keep on growing. And I've seen that happen and that usually happens when there's a meeting that's that sticks and adheres to the original program of Alcoholics Anonymous and that's the written down version. We have a little bit of limited time. So you know, sometimes what I've done for years is, you know what everybody does. I, I, I for years kind of

misinterpreted the program

because I got confused because of what I read in my big book Home group and then what I heard people say at meetings and I, I got misled into doing what other people were doing. I just sort of, you know, kind of heard something and, and then regurgitated it. And, and then once a week I'd go to my big book study and I'd read. And as years went by, I started to notice that what I was reading sometimes matched and sometimes didn't match

what I was hearing at meetings. And one of the things that didn't match was this, this, you know, tell you in a general way what I was like and what happened and what I'm like now. When I read the book in in the group and the group talked about it, they made it real clear that that's a description in a book that that kind of gives us a heads up on some personal stories coming down the road. And, and that, that wasn't necessarily didn't really have that much to do with anything that was audio, you know, the talk of some sort

and, umm, you know, instead, uh, after going through the big book, I moved on to some other books. There's another great book called a, a comes of age that clarifies in great detail some, some short pieces out of the big book. And there's one page in there where Bill Wilson makes this statement in is about 55 years ago out and wherever it was at the first international conference of Alcoholics Anonymous, he got up in front of all these people assembled. Who knows how many thousands

over there is that good looking fella there on the right in the picture. And he he got up in front of everybody. And I can only imagine that they were all excited that they were going to hear, you know, something fresh and hear his war stories about his his brokerage days and things like that. And and instead he said this, he said in alcohol, it's anonymous. It is traditional that we do not make speeches. We simply talk about our own experiences

and look out about the experiences of those around us.

And I know some of y'all. And then he closed by saying my talk will be no different. And I've been asking my higher power all day to help me adhere to that too.

So the, you know, that thing with the personal stories and because I have a bad memory, I, I kind of have to remember what page numbers things are on. I remember some of them, but but not all of them.

But there's. Let's see,

it tells us on this one page

that that there's these 42 personal stories coming or 43 depending on which edition you have. And it says that their hope that that in revealing themselves in there, that no one will take that in bad taste. But they believe that by only only by revealing their innermost selves and their problems can the alcoholic man or reader read through those pages and say, yes,

I must have this thing. Yes, I'm one of these people. I must have this thing too.

In other words, conclude, draw the conclusion. Wow. I I'm an alcoholic and I've been here for a little while while y'all are eating it. And I looked around and and I don't think there's anybody in the wrong room. I think y'all all know you're here, but that this is a meeting of Alcoholics. Honest. Anybody was looking for the Rotary Club. It's down the hall.

So rather than wasting time with, with, with the, with the plane crash where my dad died and the cancer that killed my mom and my sister getting kidnapped from her home in a nice neighborhood in Greensboro and murdered and,

and, and all of those other things that I endured, which were all miserable and horrible. And yes, I talked about them a lot, but not necessarily up here, because up here I've got a job to do. And that's to try to tell anybody who came, you know, carry the message to the alcoholic who still suffers. The alcoholic who still suffers, folks, is not always the alcoholic who's still drinking.

I meet a lot of Alcoholics who aren't drinking anymore, hadn't drank for a long time and they are suffering.

They're miserable. Y'all met him too? They're usually not very nice.

And you know, there's clear cut directions in this book on on how to get that Page 29 it, it lays that out for us. And I'm going to flip pages and read stuff because if I try to quote too much, I'll screw it up. I'll leave a word out. And besides, I love a big book meeting because then we can do this stuff. But page 29 clear cut directions are given showing how we recover.

Oh, wait, that's something else. I'm going to need some victim volunteers. I need two volunteer. You were in my class at Freehab. So you're you're named one Somebody else want to help out that young lady? What's your name? No, you just stay right there. What's your name? Charlene is going to help tell us. And Alan, Alan's going to help. OK, right there where it says further on clear cut direction directions are given showing how we recovered. Alan, who's the we

1st? 100 people, He says the first hundred men and women who wrote this book. Is it us in this room? No, no. The books written in first person plural. They wrote we. Let's go there. It's in the forward of the 1st edition. It's the very first page ever printed. The book. It says We of Alcohol is Anonymous are more than 100 men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body.

To show other Alcoholics precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book. So they wrote the book to us and, and that's where I got confused early on. And that's where I see a lot of people get confused early on. You may not believe me, but I'm nervous as hell up here. I can't stand this. I, I hate this,

I swear. I mean, I know it looks like, you know, and other people say it all the time, especially my family members, you know, it's whether it's a bottle or a bong or a microphone or never met one I didn't like.

And once I picked it up, I couldn't put it down. But but this is so much easier to do. This is so much easier to do at some of the places I go to. My favorite place to go, you might have heard me call out Alan on it is Freehab. I don't know that it'd be appropriate. Do we have a cheering section for Freehab back there? You know, it's it's a place where you go where you don't even have a bag of clothes left and you can get in the door.

I go there and then there's another thing over called Guilford County Mental Health, where I was once locked in this big dog kennel. They got in there. It's a cage for crazy people. And

they have an intensive outpatient class. I get invited over there to do some stuff too. And those people, believe it or not, are so open minded, unlike the people I meet at meetings. Those people already think AA ain't going to work. They already think I've tried it and it didn't work. And, and it's, you know, I'm only telling you my experience of what I have gone through

doing, you know, as I read the book and it said that these two guys pictured over here on the wall

that once they figured out what they had to do that in order to stay alive, they had to go find somebody to help. It didn't say they went to a meeting. It said they had to go find somebody to help. Said they called up their local hospital. People say it's not 1939 anymore. You can't call up the local hospital. Well, I, I don't, I agree that's a valid point. Google is a much more effective way. You can get a whole list of them. And you know, in the book it says they'll be only too glad to assist you because they're pulling their hair out. They don't know what to tell these people because they're all saying I tried AAI

one of the other as in a or something else, and it didn't work. And so in going there, I found out that what they were talking about, the IT that they were talking about and the IT that I was reading about were not the same it. There were pieces and parts that were similar, but some parts were just way off base, Way off base.

And you know,

after a while, I realized that there's like three different Alcoholics Anonymous diseases.

There's there's this one that those people over at the detox have been bouncing in and out of for years that they say don't work, that that's these meetings and groups are all over the world where they can call themselves a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. They right away they get a service number and they are that's a a people say go to a a judge says you need to go to a A So they go to a a they don't know any different. They walk in the door, says a a on the door.

People are doing a, a stuff. They think this is a A. And the whole time at some meeting, somebody's talking about their lawnmower that won't start and the neighbor that keeps, you know, the barking dog and some other things. And, and they're sweating and, and, and shaking and trying to figure out how in the hell am I going to survive this thing? This is horrible. And and they, they leave with nothing.

That doesn't happen at all. Meetings. At a lot of meetings, we hear all these little phrases that have been added. And these things help me a whole lot when I one of the one I remember the most

at my first, one of my first meetings, the first week, this guy said this thing that just blew me away. And this may seem so simple, but he said, and he was joking to a certain degree. He said it's been scientifically proven that if I didn't pick up the drink or the drug, I couldn't put it in my body,

Don't pick it up. That helped me a whole lot. And then and then the other one was he said if I didn't visit the the people places and playgrounds where I used to get that stuff or where they were doing that stuff, I wouldn't be near it to pick it up. That just that may seem so plain, but it helped me so much. They told me to go to 90 meetings and 90 days and I did. And there at any of those meetings, no matter what they were talking about, because I wasn't paying attention most of the time I was shaking and sweating and running back and forth outside smoking cigarettes.

It didn't matter because I was immediately, immediately enamored with these folks. I immediately felt comfortable within just a few words or minutes of talking to anybody in there that they understood me that, that, that we were of like mind that we were. I was more comfortable right away talking with those people than I was with my own family members at Christmas.

And when my first Christmas came along, I'd heard that there were these marathon meetings around the clock, every hour on the hour.

And I thought that was real nice for you folks because you might have been shaky, but I wouldn't need them. But Christmas Eve, something happened. I don't remember what it was, but I remember I drove like a bat out of hell straight to one of them clubs and sat in that thing till 4:00 in the morning. And at 2:00 in the morning, you know, I got there. I don't know what time it was I got there. And I didn't tell anybody that I was OK. They I said I was fine. And I kind of hope that somebody would notice that I was moping and would say, you know, how are you doing?

And, and then I could say, well, I'm whatever. I didn't do that. Nobody asked. And anyway, I sat through a couple of meetings and I finally spoke up at the midnight meeting. And then and then I felt a little better. And then there was nobody to chair the 2:00 AM meeting. There's nobody listed there. So I figured, well, I'll stay. And then everybody left And I was in this club in the middle, this neighborhood by myself, Christmas Eve, 2:00 in the morning. And in comes my first sponsor and my present day sponsor.

They come walking in and I said, what are y'all doing here? They said we're here to share the meeting. We do it every year on Christmas Eve. We've been doing it for 10 years now. What your names out on the schedule? He's like, did I just tell you we've been doing it every year for 10 years? Everybody knows you weren't here. Just because you aren't here doesn't mean we ain't been doing it for 10 years. Sit down. He's and they were neat. They they were they were an incredible crew, these two biker guys. And somebody already told you I used to have hair down the mail, but I've done that twice in recovery

and then every once while I try and go get a job and have to cut it off. But

anyway, we we, I, I got to sit there in that meeting and that first sponsor I had some of y'all might have remembered him. His name is Little John and

at my first meeting Little John or my first week. I'd been going to meetings for about a week. How am I doing? And

you know, I picked up some stuff, I'd pick up some bits and pieces, I'd pick up the keep coming back thing.

You know, I picked up the what? No matter what, no matter what, don't drink, don't use, no matter what, you know, call people. Some fool wrote on this list. Called anytime.

I called this guy at like 3:00 in the morning when this person living in my house was having a dope band drop off some stuff and said I don't know what to do. And, and this fellow stayed on the phone with me till early in the next morning and got me to an 8:00 meeting. Stayed on the phone with me the whole time. And so I went to meetings for a week and that that, that that held me.

Now the part I'm talking about here is the fellowship. Remember I said there's several AAS. There's this one, there's this, this meetings and groups.

Then there's this oral tradition of a, A that's not necessarily written down. Some parts of it are, some parts of it aren't. And some parts of it, it's modified. Some parts are come from other programs, come from therapy or, or psychology or, or wherever it comes from. And then and then some of it, I don't know where it's from, but but there's those two and then there's the third one. And the third one's always, it seems like it's the last stop on the block for folks.

Some people get exposed to it early on and some people don't. And that is the unsummerized version in the book Alcoholics Anonymous. And that one is the one with the clear cut directions. It isn't

what to do to recover all by itself, because it includes, you know, in order to recover, I need the fellowship. I need to not feel like I'm a weirdo,

even though I might be. I if I'm in a room full of weirdos like me, I feel right at home. And that's funny. You can laugh. I'm not talking about y'all,

but anyway,

so there's those three parts and they're and they're a little confusing.

Little John, he my very first encounter with him is like my 8th day or something like that. And I'm at this meeting and I think it might have been on gratitude. I really don't remember much about the whole first year

when they say some are sicker as sicker than others and in our sister program and, and then when they talk about the progression, I, I was way on down there and it was even months before I could speak in complete sentences. I mean, my, my speech was slurred not because I was still hammered or I still had doping my system, but because I for whatever reason, I I brain damage, I think is what they call it. And

so it was bad, but

you know, I heard some stuff. So I figured it's time for me to speak up at this, at this gratitude mean I had some gratitude. You know, I'd been to a meeting sometime that week. And so I start to share about this, about how they close the meeting somewhere I'd been. They said, let's have a moment of silence for for the alcoholic who might walk by here tonight and not even know we're here, and then do the whatever prayer they did. And I said that's me folks.

Y'all were praying for me. I mean, you were. I didn't tell you this. My, my sorority day is May 3rd, 2001, the 50th anniversary of the National Day of Prayer.

They were paying, playing, praying for me, you see. And I just thought it was so neat because see at that church, this is important at that very church where they, where we were in this meeting. That church is right down the road from the family pot. The graveyard where my dad was buried when I was 12 after plane crash, after I woke up unconscious, covered with blood in the backseat of the airplane and crawled forward and saw him crushed under the wreckage. And and where my mom was buried when I was 19 years old

from cancer. And where my sister's buried after she was found a year after she was taken from her home in Irving Park in Greensboro.

And, and so I'm telling them this, I think I'm doing pretty good, right? I'm, I'm on topic, right? This dude, okay, my first sponsor, right? Sitting over there somewhere. He just cuts me off. Like I'm not even talking. The guy had no respect. And he just leans over to me, looks at me. He's got this knife in his hand. Is this pirate knife, you know, this curved thing that he's cleaning his fingernails with because he just finished eating his apple with it. And he just looked straight at me and he says, look, dude,

I need to tell you something. You can't ever go back to that cemetery again

and be the same person. You've got something now you never had before, and that's hope, he said. I know you have hope because you already told us that you came here and you came back. So you must think you have a problem. So you got step one out of the way. He said. You must think that we might be able to help you. You know, we we certainly are doing a better job at it than you are. So apparently you, you've come to believe that there might be something bigger than you,

a power greater than you that can help. He's like, now it's time to make a decision. Now you got to make a decision. You know, are you going to let us? And one of the best ways you can let us is to stop talking and start listening. And I want really wasn't offended by that. I was just amazed somebody took an interest in me. I mean, the guy, the room was this big and he's talking to me. I think you all call that crosstalk. All right. But nobody said anything to. I told you he had a knife and they weren't. They didn't say anything to him, right?

And but I had gone by that church for years, since I was 12 years old. For some 23 years. I've gone by that church when I showed up and I was just amazed. And I found out who this guy was. Everybody knew him. Apparently he was some big figure in a a he was controversial and said things like that. I can't say up here that he did to your girlfriend or your mom and

he would have it printed on shirts and stuff and walk around that way. He just did not care. And I was kind of impressed by a guy that could get away with that sort of thing

and, and, and had a pirate knife. So I asked to be my sponsor. I called him up and he said sure, no problem, meet me tomorrow morning. Eight o'clock 8:00 in the morning at this meeting over at the Unity Club. And so I got there and he came in late and he, he leaned against the wall with his head back like he was sleeping in every. He's one of those guys that would lean forward every once in a while and say, that's not what the book says, you know? And then he'd go back to sleep. And

after the meeting, I went up to him and I said, OK, you know, I'm all set. How do we do this thing?

You know I'm ready. And he said, he pointed at two guys sitting on the wall looking at the floor. He said I brought him here. You're taking him home. I'm busy. I got stuff to do. You're going to give him a ride home. You're going to find out what meeting they want to go to tonight. You're going to get their numbers. If they can't get there, you'll go get them and you'll you'll take them there and call them early in the morning. That's why I was late, because they used to call them early in the morning. Wake them up, make sure they get here on time. And if you have to go get them

and I'll see you tomorrow.

Yeah, right. So I'm like, well, he didn't hear my question. I'm asking, you know, how do I do this thing? And he gives me this laundry list of stuff to these chores, right. But I don't know if he still got that knife with him. I don't know what's going on. So I just do what he says. And this guy makes me do this stuff over and over. And he calls me up every once in a while and he'll give me somebody's name and say he's into such a go get him, take him to such and such meat, and I'll see you there. And then he wouldn't show up

and he's got me doing this stuff. And then after a while, he raises the bar a little bit. He, he, he goes over to the little literature table like that over there. One day he craps and picks up that boat and he says you got 8 bucks.

And I said, well, yes, I've got 8 bucks. And he's like, OK, give it to me. I'm like, why? He's like, is you're buying a book And you know, he, he had gotten sober in prison when meetings have been brought to him where they studied the solution, they studied the solution. And and he, he could tell right away that I wasn't much for reading. I wasn't going to be much of a student at that point. So he just made me do stuff

and what I found out later is he was making me do the stuff right in the book. On page 89 it says that a guy like me that showed up the way I did that my best insurance. It says I if I don't read it, I'll screw it up. It's a page 89 it says practical experience shows that nothing will so much ensure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other Alcoholics. It works on other activities fail

and he had me doing that stuff. Now I know that appears in the 12th step, but in my book that is the 13th time it's mentioned.

The 13th time it's mentioned in this book, it's mentioned as a matter of fact, for anybody who's not real sure, at the end of step four, at the very end of step 4IN whatever that is, it works. I got our into action how it works, something like that. It's at the end of how it works. It it talked about where we're writing all that stuff down that we did wrong and it might not be right about us and we get that part about sex. Nobody likes that. Everybody gets quiet at the meeting when you get to page 69, but

you know, you get to that part

and it says this, It says if sex is very troublesome, we throw ourselves the harder into working with others.

There's the clear direction in Step 4 For those who say you can't, you got to wait a year to get there to do it, you know, no, you right then and there. And he, he had me do stuff and he kept me sober. He he, he had me doing the action. He didn't bother telling me. And, and after having tried to tell a bunch of people, you know, if you'll do this, you'll feel better,

nobody listens. So I wouldn't have listened. He didn't ask. He just said do. And I did

and and he was a real likable guy too. The thing that attracted me to him the most is he just looked from a distance. If you didn't know him, like the meanest, scariest biker dude you ever saw had tattoos from his toes to his neck. And he was wide and he wasn't tall, but he was wide. And.

But, but when he would speak, there wasn't an aggressive bone in his body. I mean, the man had lost that. Yeah, I can look at him and hear stories and tell that he had that once before.

But that aggression, that anger was gone. It was gone. There was number hint of it. And I mean, he would say things to piss people off at just a giggle. You know, he, he was something else. But

those three parts of a A is where a lot of confusion comes and there's a question that that people should ask that they don't ask. I I think they forget to ask this question. And because somebody introduced me as a big book thumper, I think I'm a pry your mouth open and shove it down your throat. Or

personally, that's just my belief. Thumping is nice, but that's a little overly polite for me.

You know,

I wasn't this way until after I went to some of those treatment centers and those jails and met those people who said it didn't work, who believed it wouldn't work, who were dying from chronic alcoholism. And our only chance was what the an entire psychic change. Page XXVII

from the Doctor's opinion says these, uh, these folks that, uh,

uh, unless they, uh, can get the, the sense of ease and comfort that comes at once from a first drink, they're going to drink again, you know, and, and their only hope is some sort of entire psychic change. And later they call it a vital spiritual experience. It's on page 27. And that one I cannot remember for some reason, I have to read it. And it says that's where this guy goes to the doctor and he says,

you know, what do I do? And the doctor basically says, you're screwed. You have the mind of a chronic alcoholic. I have never seen one single case recover where that state of mind existed to the extent that it doesn't. You

guy says the doctors there no exception. The doctor says, Oh yes, there is exceptions. Cases that's yours have been occurring since early times here and there. Once in a while, Alcoholics have had what are called vital spiritual experiences.

They appear to be in the nature of huge emotional displacements and arrangements. Ideas, emotions and attitudes, which were once the guiding forces of the lives of these men are suddenly cast aside and a completely new set of conceptions and motives begin to dominate them.

He's telling him that's your only chance. That's a chronic alcohol. It's only chance. According to this program. There may be another one out there with a different idea. I ain't found it yet, by the way. I'm in, I'm. I'm in the market for five day at a time program. If you find it, give me a call because this stuff gets exhausting every day, day in, day out, day in, day out because I have to do it every day. Where is that one? Oh, I love that one. It's, I don't even have to look. It's on page 97

97. It says it kind of the act once in a while

isn't enough.

Since helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery, a kindly act once in a while isn't enough. You have to act the Good Samaritan every day.

Where My where was it, Charmaine? Did she leave? Oh, there you are. How many times a week is every day?

All of them.

Damn. OK,

OK, Because I'm constantly looking for the little hole to wiggle through. And I deal with people all the time who say, well, OK, I know the book says one thing, but you don't really have to do that. No, we don't have to do that. But I want to get what these people got because I was miserable, you know, nine years ago today, nine years ago today. I I started a new group the other night, on the 8th, on Thursday night,

and when I realized the significance of that date, it brought tears to my eyes because nine years ago this Thursday passed two days ago. Is that right? 2-3 days ago

I was riding in the back of a Paddy wagon down to the North Carolina State Mental Hospital in handcuffs and shackles on my feet with a little chain between them and padlocks with three other guys in the back of the Paddy wagon didn't have no chains on. That was not a fun ride.

And I mean, they didn't do anything but scared the whole time. And, and I spent the next four or five, I don't know how many days really in, in, in the in the state mental institution, in the crazy ward and

lawyers couldn't Get Me Out. My family couldn't Get Me Out. Nobody could Get Me Out. I was in this horrible place. And I was in there because right before that, on the 7th, the night of the 7th or early morning, the 8th Sheriff's Department found me in my truck

that I had special ordered from Chevrolet and paid ridiculous amounts of money for. And I was passed out with the garden hose in the exhaust pipe and hose in the truck.

And because I didn't want to live anymore, I didn't want to live anymore. And when and when people would, you know, I hear people say all the time, you know, don't, don't drink or you'll die. Well, that I would have been like, where is the die window? I want to sign up 'cause I couldn't live anymore. I hate, I was 36 years old. My life wasn't what it was supposed to turn out to be. Didn't have what I wanted. Anything I had had, I lost. I couldn't, I was, I knew I was undependable. I couldn't go anywhere, be anywhere. I couldn't do what I said I was going to do.

It just wouldn't happen and

and fine, I wanted to get off. I was like, man, if you know this is the best I can do, it ain't good enough. It ain't good enough for you, for the world. It ain't good enough for me either. My own standards it I'm done. And

yeah, that was nine years ago Thursday.

So I've got to do this stuff that this is my only chance. I'm one of those guys that has to have this, this, this, this vital spiritual experience. And I said it a minute ago and I forget what I do, what I'm saying all the time or thinking. And I was going to get a volunteer to help me remember the volunteers names. But

Alan and Charmaine, is that right? Am I getting that right, Charlene? Good. I, You know, only in a room full of Alcoholics and you count on somebody to correct you. Yeah,

it's, I don't know if you folks, you're wonderful. So we were talking about you while you're gone. I told him not to,

that I said there was a question you should ask. There's a question that should be asked that doesn't get asked. And that question is, well, hold on a minute, read Martin. You know, if the book says, and I'm pointing at it and thumping it, saying that if the only way an alcoholic can get sober is this vital spiritual experience, well then how come there's hundreds, if not thousands of people just in this area alone that are doing just fine with the don't drink and go to meetings plan?

How come? Because there are, they're there,

I know they're there. I go to the means, I hear them say, oh, I got 90 means 9 days. That's all you got to do Nothing else, you know, just go to more meetings. Just just don't drink. You know, you got a problem. You can't stop drinking. Oh, well, that's easy. Just don't just stop drinking. That's all you got to do. Just stop drinking and go to meetings. And they say other things and then they, and they say pray and they have all these other things. They have this kind of oral program that I mentioned earlier of the three AAS. And there's a lot of people that seem like they're doing just fine with that. And they are.

I've met them and they're doing just fine with that. And what is up with that? How come, Why, why, what, what's this conflict? You're saying over here? This is the only way and then these people are doing this other way and they're doing just fine. What's up with that? That's answered in in in a couple ways. The easiest way to illustrate it is with the in the To the Wives chapter where they describe an alcoholic at different levels of progression.

I also like the description of the alcoholic.

I used to get up here and say, you know, there's drugs in my story. I'm sorry if I'm gonna but oh, but then as a study in the book studying the sentences. When you rephrase that, you don't study the book, you study the sentences and the description of the alcoholic. I bet you have been to a meeting before. I know I've been to I've heard it 1000 times. They say the description of the alcoholic, the chapters of the agnostic and our personal adventures before and after make clear 3 pertinent Ivy is a that we are alcoholic and could not manage it right. This sound familiar, right?

The first sentence was the description of the alcoholic.

Ooh, and so many people have not read the description of the alcoholic. I've got a little thing here and it's so small I can't read it.

A description of the alcoholic is on 22. Does that sound right? Help me out. Yes, it is.

Here's the description of the alcohol. Now the sentence down below it says. This is by no means a comprehensive picture of the true alcoholic, as our behavior patterns vary, but this description should identify him

Roughly. What description? Well, they say all kinds of things about him started on page 21, but then they get to this part where it gets things. It says this, matters grow worse. He begins to use a combination of high-powered sedatives.

It does.

The book Alcoholics Anonymous says a true alcoholic uses dope, drugs. That's what it says

now, in all fairness, it says, you know, it says it gets worse, you know. Then comes the day where he simply cannot make it. He gets drunk all over again. Perhaps he goes to a Doctor Who gives him morphine. Yes, that's that. You've never had it. I'm sorry. It's anyway

then he begins to appear at hospitals. But then that part, it's not a comprehensive picture of the true alcoholic hazard. Behavior patterns vary. I agree with that part especially my behavior pattern was different. The high-powered sedatives were better

than the Laker for me. It's just me. I liked the part about, you know, not not throwing up and falling down in the throw up. That was just me. But that's how it describes it. But then back to this question again, is this question, what's the difference? And by the way, somebody left a marker. I stole it,

Kawhi saw you all had a marker board and I'd love to do this. This is such a quick and easy way to illustrate and we've only got a few minutes and I'm going to finish on time. I swear

I've been known to lie. But anyway, the see if I could find this thing,

husband #4 we'll start with husband #4 send the two of the wives chapter. By the way, this is the first chapter I ever read when I got this book home, right? Because I was going to read it. You see, I found out alcoholism is a disease. It's not my fault, you see, not my fault. And I was going to take this book home and I was going to beat it over that woman's head and say, see, you need, you need to take care of me. I'm sick,

right? You need to, right? It's not my fault,

right? And I go through it. I won't, I won't go into it. But you all have heard it before. It's, you know, it just starts going down. And this husband, you know, smashed the treasured crockery and kicked out the door panels and busted things and the paychecks couldn't come home in an armored car. And I'm like, stop reminding her. How is this going to help me? You know, well, fine, I don't need that book. That's not going to help me

anyway. The the husband number four was at page 110. They got these these four husbands and I'm going to draw this up here just so you can see make a little plus sign right here and we got husband number 1234. People love this because this answers that question. And I think it's real important to get this point across because

I've had a lot of friends who've been in this thing for a while and then they relapsed and now they're never going to get back. They're never going to get back, and some of them have died already.

Husband #4 let's hear what they say about that, OK? And forgive me, for I know, but you little closet big book thumpers are in here. And you do this at home, but you aren't doing it into meetings. And you leave me to do it. It says you may have a husband whom you completely despair,

been placed in one institution after another, is violent or appears definitely insane when drunk. Sometimes he drinks on the way home from the hospital. I did that on the way home from Butner. I had somebody meet me halfway. I couldn't make it. Sometimes he he, perhaps he's had DTS. Doctors shake their heads and advise you to have him committed. Maybe you have already been obliged to put him away. What do you think they say about this guy? Right? He's screwed right now. Here's what they say. This picture may not be as dark as it looks.

Many of our husbands. Who's our Where's my volunteers? Who's the hour, minute, first? Just slow Alan, you're slow

to do 1 little job to do.

Many of our husbands were just as far gone, yet they all got well. Wow. Husband #4 in and out of hospitals one after another. They, they, he gets an approval from a a right? There's a check mark. Husband #3 what's his story? Here's what they say about husband #3 on page one O 9. They say this husband has gone much further than husband #2 the ones like #2 we hadn't heard about him yet.

He became worse. His friends have slipped away, his home is a near wreck, he cannot hold a position, the doctor's been called in, and the weary round of sanitariums and hospitals has begun. He admits that he cannot drink like other people, but does not see why