Steps 1, 2 and 3 at the Men Among Men Group's first conference in Copenhagen, Denmark

Hi everybody.

Are we ready? Who's ready for a meeting?

Has everybody peed? Who's gonna have to get up and pee?

Hunchbacks. You let hunchbacks in here.

OK. Are you back ready There? OK. All right, folks. My names Mickey Bush and I'm a fully conceded alcoholic,

right? Well, we had a good break.

I'm gonna, I'm gonna take this second-half of the next 45 minutes or so. There's a microphone here for questions and answers at some point. I don't know whether it works or not. I haven't tried it. But anyway, it'll be a question and answer period, I hope at the end of the the meeting. And if you ask the question, I'll give you the answer or at least double talk you into thinking I got an answer, you know. But anyway,

in the first half,

excuse me,

God, cigarettes 0

in the first half. Just to recap, I, I spent, you know, a best part of an hour talking about the step before the steps, which most people seem to ignore. You know, I've got to understand what it is about me that makes me alcoholic.

And people say, hey, you don't need to understand, just admit it. Just admit. And you know, they say that because they can't don't know how to explain it. That's right, semantics. And you know, all the other stuff that denies what we got to do and what we got to find out. I got to have an understanding of what's wrong with me and I didn't know that. So I know what it is about me that makes me alcoholic because I'm physically and mentally different than my fellows. And I have a disease called alcoholism. It's a two fold disease. Many people think it's a three fold

touch on that in the second, the second step, but you know, I got my alcohol changes my perception of reality and I I want a change in perception of reality because I can't stand reality. Now all of this, I don't know about all this when I'm growing up, like when I, when I, when I started drinking, I didn't sort of say to myself, I'm going to start drinking because I can't stand reality and I want to change in perception of reality.

Know that I didn't know anything about any of this. I found out about it here when I went over the stuff when I got to Alcoholics Anonymous and uncovered, discovered this guard to discover like that stuff I was talking about as a child. I didn't know all that. I hadn't thought about any of that. But you know, later on when we came to four step and we got into causes and conditions and stuff of that nature, then, you know, I started doing this stuff and I started being taught this stuff. So it's just worth it. That's why I,

so we, we, we learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost self of alcoholic. I learned that I fully concede to my innermost self. I know what my innermost self is. I know what it means to be an alcoholic and I can fully concede to my innermost self so that I don't have to rely on two things, memory and knowledge. It's a done deal. So now I can get on with this fact of come together to 12 steps. We've got a 12 step spiritual program starting with step one

now. I was talking at the break to a man as many, many years sober here,

and I asked him about the first step of the 12th, and he didn't know. He didn't know what powerless meant. He thought he did. He said he did, and he said he was 12 years sober

now.

I don't care what he thinks it is. I don't care if he thinks it means standing on the corner with his thumb stuck up his butt. I don't care Whatever he thinks it is. He knows how to stay sober doing it, so I don't care what he believes in it.

But I do care.

I don't want to disturb anybody over there. We're not disturbing you, are we?

See, I do care why he's passing on to the new guy. Who Perhaps

gonna die.

So it's very important. See, even on a pile of shit, a flower will grow.

So I don't care if somebody's staying sober and don't know Dick. You know, I do care about our message, our path. See, so This is why I do what I do, and This is why I stand up here and take a risk all over the world. As a matter of fact, saying what I say and what I'm going to say to you, you perhaps haven't heard before and perhaps won't hear again, because I don't know anybody else who's saying what I'm about to say to you.

I know most of the heavy hitters and I know most of the speakers, but I don't hear them say what I'm about to say to you about powerlessness, et cetera. There's only one other person that I know that's put it close to what I say, and that's Father Martin who did. Come on, get it over with. Come on, what do you want?

Ivory is ivory.

Can we carry on now?

Oblivious. Fucking oblivious he was

see Father Mardin, he said he went to God and he asked God what what you have all of I have none of can I have some please? And he was talking about power.

Now he's the only man. And we were friends. He died just recently. Father Martin, wonderful man. And

when I was when I was trying to discover some of this stuff, I was trying to discover what was going on and what to do about it. And I, and I started asking people what powerless over alcohol meant. And you know what? They didn't know? I didn't know. I didn't know what powerless over alcohol meant. And I asked, and I asked a lot of people, you know, what happened? People told me what the results of being powerless were. They told me what the

sequences of being powerless were. They told me what happened to them because they were powerless, but they didn't know what powerless was. They thought, believed and said they did, and they repeated things that they heard in Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, but they didn't know, and I didn't know, and I needed to know. It was the first thing about the first step in a program that I'm going to depend on to save my life,

being a real alcoholic. So I wanted to know what it was and the first of the 12 steps. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that my life had become unmanageable. The first thing I noticed about that step was that it was written in the past tense. We admitted we were powerless, that my life had become unmanageable, not that I am powerless and it is unmanageable.

And I hear people walking around Alcoholics Anonymous claiming they're powerless,

Powerless, powerless. Everybody's powerless. Poor little palace. Palace over everything. Palace over people, places and things. Palace powerless, powerless.

I don't know what now they're talking about. I just had a a run in with a guy 33 years sober. He he talks all the time and he says that he's as powerless today as the day that he walked into Alcoholics Anonymous.

He's as powerless today as the devil it goes. Another one.

Shall I come back tomorrow? I mean, I, I mean,

all right, now good. See, he's as powerless today as the day that he walked in 33 years ago. And I say, why do you say that? Because it's true. He said because it's traumas powerless. The day is the day I walked in 33 years ago. So why do you say that powerless over alcohol? I said, OK, then what do you do about it? He said, I pray to God.

I said what? He said I pray to God. God is my understanding. I said you said you were powerless. That's right, He said, powerless over alcohol.

I said, I asked you what you did about it. You said you prayed to God. He said, that's right, pray to God. My understanding. I said, well, make your mind up. He said, what do you mean? I said, well, if you're powerless, you ain't got God to pray to. And if you got God to pray to, you ain't powerless. You can't have it both ways,

he said. Well, we all know you're weird,

I said. I may be weird, but I ain't weird enough to listen to your crap. 33 years sober, walking around in Alcoholics and armours claiming your powerless pillars, pillars, Bellers. You know, poor little pills.

Pearl is over people, places and things.

Being powerless over people, places and things is not only not true, but it has nothing to do with nothing. Being powers other people, places and things has nothing to do with nothing. And it ain't true because of good alcoholic nose that I do have some power sometimes over some things. Correct? Correct.

Sometimes I can manipulate you into doing what I want you to do. Sometimes I can

coerce you into doing my bidding. Sometimes I can get what I want from you. Sometimes you can get what you want from me. So I do have some power sometimes over some things. Rolf and I had the power to drive here today. I had the power to wear this shirt. You, I mean, you may not like it.

I got it. See, I do have some power sometimes over some things. See. Now, if I confuse that type of powerlessness to the powerlessness that I must fully concede to my innermost self about alcohol,

alcohol where drinking is concerned, I'm screwed. If I think that even I I have the smallest amount in and of myself, I have the smallest amount of power over alcohol, I'm screwed. Because if I leave just a small tiny gap for that disease to come barging through, it'll come back through the whole computer Bank of evidence to barge down my defences.

So I have to completely slam the door. I can't afford to confuse the powerlessness over alcohol

with this crap that you hear about powerless over people, places and things. But it's nothing to do with nothing. Everybody is and isn't powerless over people, places and things. Nothing to do with alcoholism. You think the Pope ain't palace over wearing that hat?

You know? You think Granny Clamp it ain't powerless over Jethro,

You know, You think that Russian dude with the big purple BLOB on his head. You know that guy with the purple BLOB on his head? You think he ain't powerless over purple blobs? You think he don't look himself in the shower 11 morning and go, how come I got a bloody purple paper that's on my head? Powerless, other people playing. Nothing to do with alcoholism, but we have people walking around here quoting stuff as if it does. Powerless over alcohol.

Now what is that? What does it mean to be powerless over alcohol? I wanted to know. It was the first thing about the first step in a program that I'm going to depend on to save my arse. So I wanted to know and it had to be, had to be more than what happened to me because I was powerless.

I mean, because I'm powerless ones too many and 1000 ain't enough. Because I'm powerless, I can't control and enjoy my drinking. But I've got news to it. For you to control it, you've got to be doing it. And if you're doing it, you're already screwed. So it has to be more than the C word, the control word.

See, powerless over alcohol. Well, I didn't know what that meant, and I wanted to find out what it meant. I wanted to know what it meant. I wanted to know and understand so that I could get a grasp of what was wrong with me and what to do about it. And this was, we admitted we were powerless over alcohol and my life had become unmanageable. Well, what did that mean?

I worked out an equation. Powerless equals no power. Well, in the beautiful book Alcoholics Anonymous it said there is one who has all power. That one is God, may you find him. Now does it say that or not?

There's One who has all power. That one is God. May you find him now. Well, if I gotta find him, it means I ain't got him.

And if he's the source and he's the power over everything and I'm powerless over alcohol, it must mean powerless equals no power. God equals power. Therefore powerless equals godless. When I get to our colleagues anonymous, I have no power in my life. Call it God, Jesus, Buddha, Allah, Muhammad, or anything else that you want to call it. And we don't care what you call it. Call it bloody Mashikinovich if you like. Nobody cares

but I don't have it when I get here to Alcoholics Anonymous on January the 15th, 1983.

I am helpless, hopeless and powerless when it comes to alcohol. Not people, places and things and other things like that. I'm powerless over alcohol when I get to Alcoholics Anonymous. I haven't arrived here with the fellowship yet because right here is a power greater than me. But I'm not here yet when I get here. I have no power in my life to resist the demands of the disease that I'm in the grips of. A2 fold disease, obsession of the mind, allergy of the body

in the grips of a final progression. Progressive disease. And I have to do what it wants me to do, which is drink. And I have no power to resist its demands.

Now, I don't know that. How do I know that? How am I going to work that out? I don't know even what that is. I don't know that I'm powerless over alcohol. I don't even know what powerless means. What it means is I have no power. I have no God in my life. God, group of drunks, good old dude, you know, go on dreaming. You know, whatever you want to, whatever you want to call it. I don't have it when I get here. And when I get here, I'm in the grips of a fatal disease, a disease so

powerful. This disease that I got is so powerful, it has got me to abandon the God that I believed in and what I know of and what I was raised in. This disease is so powerful, whatever form of God you may believe in, it gets you to abandon that disease way long before you get here. The the disease doesn't get me to abandon the disease. It gets me to abandon God and the spirituality. See, the disease is so strong,

so powerful, that long before I get here, years before the onset of untreated alcoholism, the disease gets me to abandon God and spirituality. So that along the path of life, sometimes quickly and sometimes slowly, the disease becomes all powerful in my life, dictating and dominating everything I say, do, think and feel. And in and of myself, I am helpless, hopeless and powerless to resist its demands. And I have to do what it wants me to do, which is drink.

And I can't not drink just because I don't want to 'cause this disease that I'm so powerless over makes me do it even though I don't wanna do it. And I have no power to resist its demands. Because the disease, years before I got it, got me to abandon God and spirituality, which is the source of the power over everything,

see and in and of myself. I have no God in my life to resist its demands.

You think I knew that when I got here?

Yeah. Powerless is godless. Whatever form of God you've got, we don't mind whatever. In the beautiful book Alcoholics Anonymous, it says he can choose any concept of God he likes, provided it makes sense to him. That's a condition, my friends. This book that says of itself, our book is meant to be suggestive only. Maya. Bloody well meant to be suggestive only. But it ain't. It's got clear cut, precise instructions, directions, and rules to follow.

He can choose any concept of God he likes, provided it makes sense to him. So we have to find something that makes sense to me that I can depend upon, that I can rely on at 2:00 in the morning when them demons are screaming and my ass is in a sling and I got a drink so bad it's ripping my guts out. I better have something that makes sense to me that I can depend upon to save my ass. And that's something better be something more than the fact that I don't want to do it.

You know what I'm talking about.

Yeah. Anybody ever been in that position where you got to drink so bad? That's what alcoholism does. And I better have something that makes sense to me. And that's something you know, better make sense to me. But know some Ying of the Yang, Zen of the zoo, Sky pilot or whatever else you want to talk about, it better makes sense. And people say, oh, it doesn't matter what it is. Just

and all the other lip flapping party line bullshit that goes on around here.

It better make sense. And I didn't know that I was separated from it and that I was bankrupt from it and that I was like defeated by it. Which is the spiritual malady. See the spiritual malady

is the separation from the spirit. The spiritual malady is that the the the the disease on bankrupt as far as spirituality is concerned. The disease has got me to abandon God and spirituality and defeated my spirituality and separated me from the spirit. That's why there's no third factor. People say it's a three fold disease, but it can't be a three fold disease

or every known Medical Association in the world recognizes alcoholism, addiction as A2 fold illness, obsession of the mind, allergy of the body, mental and physical. Not one recognize it as a spiritual sickness.

There's no such thing as a spiritual sickness. I was talking at the break with a couple of members. It says in the beautiful book Alcoholics Anonymous on page 62 at 64, Resentment is the number one offender. It destroys more Alcoholics than anything else from its stem. All forms of spiritual disease. What is a spiritual disease? Anybody got one? Anybody seen one? Anybody know what one is?

A spiritual disease? A disease spirit?

A disease God. What is a disease, God?

For we have not only been mentally and physically or we have been spiritually sick.

How can you be spiritually sick? What have you got? A sick spirit? You got a diseased God? Well, if you got a disease God and you reconnect with it, you're going to be screwed.

How can you have a disease, God or a sick spirit? No. There's me that's sick because I'm separated from the spirit. There's me that's sick because the disease has got me to abandon God and spirituality so that I have no God and spirituality in my life. There's me that's sick that when I reconnect and make a conscious contact with the spirit, I straighten out mentally and physically

because it's a spiritual solution, not a spiritual problem.

It can't be both. We can't have a spiritual problem and a spiritual solution.

It's one or the other. And when I straighten out spiritually, I straight, when I reconnect spiritually, I straighten out mentally and physically. I haven't got a diseased spirit or a disease. God, I'm sick and disease because I'm separated from God.

I mean, if you got VD, if you got a venereal disease, if you got the clap

and you need penicillin, but you ain't got no penicillin, do you go around saying I got a penicillin disease?

That wouldn't make any sense, would it? That's dumb. So if I haven't got any spirituality, why do I go around saying I got spiritual disease? That's dumb. I got to reconnect with the Spirit, and when I reconnect with the Spirit, I straighten out physically and mentally. How do I reconnect with the Spirit? We reconnect with the Spirit by something that's not mentioned in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous.

It's called

hitting bottom. Now, I don't know whether you guys talk about hitting bottom here in Denmark, but we do over there. And most people have no idea what it means. They think, believe and say they do. Bill Wilson never wrote anything about hitting bottom in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. But more was revealed to Bill, the same as more will be revealed to us in the 12 and 12 that we don't have up here today. But

in the very first step, he he says while this insistence

that every alcoholic must hit bottom first. Anybody know what I'm talking about? Anybody read the 12:00 and 12:00? Yeah, it's in there for step one. Bill Wilson insists that every alcoholic must hit bottom first. Now, that's some ballsy crap to say to a bunch of drunks who don't like authority and don't like being told what to do. We insist that every alcoholic must hit bottom first.

Yeah, we'll hit bottom on this Father Mucker. Yeah,

yeah. But that's how important it is. You see, hitting bottom is the process that brings us back to the power we've abandoned to ask for help. And I didn't even know that I'd abandoned the power. Hitting bottom is the same for all of us, not different. I know in our meetings and other places, we say everybody's bottoms different, but that's people who don't understand what hitting bottom is. And most people have no idea what hitting bottom is, though they think, believe and say they do. And I

and I went around asking people like powerless and being alcoholic, what does it mean to hit bottom? What does hitting bottom mean?

Do you know what they told me? They told me the consequences and the results of untreated alcoholism in their life. They told me the consequences and the result of of, of drinking and drugging in their life at the tail end of their drinking. They told me the outside circumstances and conditions that their life was in when they got here. You know, hitting bottom is not about the outside circumstances and conditions of our life. We think, believe, and say it is, but it's not.

Hitting bottom is the same for all of us. Yours was the same as mine. Mine is the same as yours. Ours is the same as theirs. I know that we say in meetings everybody's bottoms different, but people don't understand that. See, hitting bottom is to say there's no unity in being different. Hitting bottom is the same. Yours is the same as mine. And when I say what I'm about to say, you will relate. I know it. How do I know it? Because you're here. That's how I know it. So he must have been there because you're here.

See. Look, hitting bottom,

far from it being what we believe it to be. And when I ask people what hit and bottom is, you'd be amazed what I get told. You know, hitting bottom is not about the outside circumstances and conditions our life were in. Hitting bottom is an inside job, not an outside circumstance. And I ask people all the time and they tell me about, well, the wife left me, the kids are gone, I'm living in an abandoned car, I'm in detox, I'm in prison, I'm locked up in jail, I'm diseased. All the things in their outside

stances and conditions. I lost my job. I lost my career. You know,

that's not what hitting bottom is. That's the outside circumstances and conditions of our life. Hitting bottoms an inside job, not an outside circumstance. And the danger of believing that hitting bottom is the outside circumstances and conditions of our life is that as those outside circumstances and conditions get better and improve, we falsely believe we've gotten better and improved and drink again.

Anybody know what I'm talking about? She comes back in my life. I get the job back, got career back, got money in the bank. I'm sitting pretty. You're not really an alcoholic

and I think I'm doing good

here in Bottoms. An inside job? I asked a couple. We're just before I came here,

this little guy and girl, they're in and they're good members. They want to stay clean and sober. I asked them what their bottom was. I said to this little girl. I said to her, what was your bottom, love? It's important that we understand here in bottom because it's a process that brings us back to the power we've abandoned. Have you hit bottom? She said. Oh yes, I said, what was your bottom? She said. I was feet to the curb, hustling the Broadway prostitute in myself, trying to earn a dollar so I could get loaded.

I said that wasn't your bottom, she said. Well, I think it was.

I said. I don't care what you think,

I said to her, dude, I said, what was your bottom pal? Oh, he said. I know what that was, He said. I was locked up in a penitentiary, married to Bubba.

I I said that wasn't your bottom,

he said. It felt like it was.

You got bad minds. I swear to God you got bad minds.

See, hitting bottom isn't about the outside stuff. Hitting bottom is the same. Hitting bottom is that time. That happened to me on January the 15th, 1983. I remember it so clearly. I didn't know what I was saying and I didn't know who I was saying it to and I didn't know what the results of what I was saying was going to be. But in desperation and despair, I can remember going to help me. Please help me. What's wrong with me

and asked for help from outside of myself. I asked Kay our saving kit help HELP his ever loving presence. Anybody know what I'm talking about?

And you know what though? The disease had gotten me to abandon God. God hadn't abandoned me. And when I turned back to him and asked for help, he seemed to be looking over my shoulder. And he seemed to say to me, Mick, you silly bastard, I've been waiting for you to ask. Now get yourself over that 12 Step Fellowship sent me to you. I asked for help and he sent me to you

because here was the power he provided for an alcoholic of my kind. Your kind, your kind, our kind, the beautiful book says.

Here was a power greater than me that would enable me to knife to drink today.

Here it was me. Plus, you. Hope everything comes out all right.

Me plus you is a power greater than me. You plus us is a power greater than you.

Together we can do what I couldn't do. I couldn't stay sober. You couldn't stay sober. But together we could stay sober. And I read in the Bible. I, I, I like the Bible. You know, nothing wrong with the Bible. Bible being informed before leaving earth. Nothing wrong with the brain,

you know, You know, I like the Bible. Nothing wrong with the Bible as long as you don't want to treat your alcoholism with it, because the Bible don't treat alcoholism. But in the Bible, it said, when any two are gathered in my name, there I will be in your midst. And I went, wow. That's what we do in Alcoholics Anonymous. Two Alcoholics come together for the purpose of recovery. The third factor. And God comes in our midst and produces a power greater than either of us. So it's produced by us, but it's greater than us and we can

depend upon it and not have to drink today. And we can utilize the power, even if we don't understand the power,

long before we understand the power, we can utilize the power. That's why I think AA for the power. And I thank the power for AA. I never had it when I got here. I mean, you guys tried to help me. You said let go and let God. I said what you said, turn it over to God. I said what you said, pray to God. I said fuck off.

If I pray to him, he'll know where I am.

I weren't going to pray and oh God that was going to get me. God was going to get me. They said God will get you for that. God will get you for that. God will get you for that. I couldn't even play with the old Ding a Ling for Christ sake.

I said, don't you play with that, gonna strike you blind. Do you remember this? Will you tell an Alki like me not to do something? And of course he will. So I did. When I found out how good it felt, I thought, well, I'll risk one eye,

you know? But I mean, I never came in here with no God of my understanding or anybody else's understanding, but I like, I came here and I learned and I stuck around. I kept coming back,

but I never had it. When I got here, we admitted we were powerless over alcohol. My life had become unmanageable in and of myself. I was helpless, hopeless and powerless. Destitute in every department, you know, and under the grips of a powerful disease. A disease so powerful it got me to abandon God and spirituality so that it could become all powerful in my life. See, and and I was helpless, hopeless and powerless to resist its demand. I hit bottom

so so devastatingly that I turned back to God and asked for help

life and sent me to here was a 12 step spiritual fellowship in the fellowship you introduced me to a big book BI GB double OK believing in God beats our old knowledge in the beautiful book was a program PROGR AM people relying on God relying a message message MESSAGE me steps sponsoring God every day. Holy shit

it was a God-given gift. GIFT. God is forever there. What for GIFTS? Get it from the steps.

Wow,

what do you mean step?

What do you mean steps? STEPS. Solution to every problem, sober Wow, solution, SOLUTIONS, saving our lives using the inventory or needed steps. Holy shit.

Wow. How do I find out about this? Well, you gotta want it. You gotta ask for it. What do you mean after it? Ask our saving kit. Holy shit, Who shall I ask? Try a sponsor. Sponsor. What do you mean sponsor? SPONSOR. Sober person offering newcomers suggestions on recovery. Wow.

Newcomer. NEWCOMER,

NEWCOMER. Nothing else worked. Completely out of manageability and to recovery. Holy shit. Well, have I gotta do the steps? Yeah, you gotta do the steps. Why have I gotta do the steps? Well, if you don't do the steps and you wanna quit drinking, you go crazy. You go nuts. What do you mean nuts? NUTS.

Not using the steps.

Holy shit. What? Does everybody work the steps? No, not everybody works the steps. Well, why have I gotta work them? Well, you don't have to work them if you don't want to. Well, what happen if I don't work them? We'll go down there to Copenhagen. Go and see them. People down there not working the steps. Walking around here full of crap. What do you mean crap? CRAP. Carrying resentments against people. Yeah. Well, what do I. What happens in? Well, go down and see them and you'll see them not working the steps. Going crazy, going nuts. You know

what do they do that for? So they stay sober. What do you mean sober? SOBER son of a bitch. Everything S real. That's what's so real. Wow,

wow,

is that all there is? No, that ain't all there is. A beautiful book says elimination of our drinking is about a beginning, a far greater demonstration of our principles. Lives before us in our respective homes, occupations and affairs. Well, I don't know about you folk here in Denmark, but I spoke back there in LA, we have affairs. We're no good at them, but we don't give them up. Relationships. Anybody good at relationships? I wrote a word for relationships.

RELATIONSHIP relationships.

Really exciting love affair turns into outrageous nightmare. Sobriety hangs in peril.

So I was helpless opals and powerless, but I'm not now I've got I've turned back to God. God's come back in my life. He sent me to you spelt it spiritual fellowship. You introduced me to a big book with a program with a design for living a blueprint for life. Sponsor sponsor is I've got so much bloody power today. I don't know what to do with it. For Christ sake. I said to my sponsor, what should I do with all this power over alcohol? He said give it away,

go out there to Copenhagen, give it to them.

Don't worry, they won't want it.

So now I'm I'm reconnected with God and I'm back in the fold and I'm here with the power. Me plus you is a power greater than me. You plus us is a power greater than you. Together we can do what I couldn't do alone. I couldn't stay sober. You couldn't stay sober, but together we can stay sober. Step 2. Now in the Step 2 it says came to believe that a power greater than the self could restore me to sanity.

Well, guess what, I'm certified insane in four different countries.

But guess what? They never once came and grabbed my ass and said we're going to lock you up for repeating the same behavior and expecting a different result. They didn't say that. You guys said that. And I went, whoa, holy shit. They knew how to bash me up. They knew how to brutalize me. They knew how to shoot me up with tanks and ZAP me on electric machines and ostracize me from society and bash me and and do all that. But they didn't know what was wrong with me and they didn't know how to get through to me even if they did know what was wrong with me.

See, And so I was locked up in insane asylums and, and institutions for the criminally insane. But that, that wasn't the insanity that we talked about in recovery. We talked about recovery, the insanity as being repeating the same behaviour and expecting a different result. Drink in. Anybody know what I'm talking about?

For me to know what I know about my drink in history, for me to do that again is insane. Just like the jaywalker. Anybody remember the Jay Walker? See that's insane, isn't it? So came to believe that a power greater myself could restore me to sanity, restoring me to sanity if if repeating the same behaving, expecting a different result was insanity. To be restored to sanity meant not drinking. So here was a power greater than myself that would enable me to

have to drink today. And this power that we have in rooms like this all over the world is a power so great in Alcoholics Anonymous it will enable me to defeat the power of the disease so that I didn't have to drink. And here it was, right here, right now in rooms like this. And we must have a power right here, right now in rooms like this. Whatever that power may mean to you, you got it right here. Look, I don't know how many people are in here today. Must be a hundred, 150 maybe. I don't know, but there must be

how a mustn't their right ear right now in rooms like this. There must be a power right here, right now. Look, I'm in in Copenhagen, right? I don't know where, but I mean, you know.

Now, I don't know Copenhagen very well, but I got a feeling

the if we ain't got a power right here, right now in rooms like this, and we suffer from a disease that we're powerless over, that makes me do what I already don't want to do. And if I ain't got a power to counteract that power. And when I walk out of here, if I ain't got a power to counter and act the power of the disease, I'm going to have to do what the disease wants me to do, which is drink. I I got a feeling Copenhagen ain't ready for 100 or 150 alkies to go out and get drunk today.

So there must be a power, mustn't it? Whatever that power that you got or believe in is perfectly OK with us because we've learnt some shit around here. We've learned, for example, that whatever you believe in, no matter what that power is, is OK with us

because we said we've learnt, for example, that as the Beautiful Book says, he can choose any concept of God he likes, provided it makes sense to him. So if there's a hundred different concepts of God in this room, we don't care what it is. You can have a Catholic God, a Jewish God, a Hindu God, a Muslim God. You can have a leg of the chair God, you can have a doorknob God, you can have a sea God, you can have a pair of tits God. You can have any kind of God you like. Nobody cares.

Why? Because all the gods have got at least one thing in common.

Know what that is? All the gods send their alkies here, don't they?

All the gods send their alkies here 'cause here's the power they provided for an alky to not have to drink today. This power that we have here is of God and from God, and provided by God, but it ain't God. It's provided by God for us alkish. But there's a lot more to God than the power He provides alkies to not have to drink

that unmanageability that we talk in. The first step is to think inside of the twofold disease. I can't sit down at a desk and workout my affairs and pay my bills and live my life.

But I can today see I've been restored to sanity and here I have a power now with this power that's of God and from God and provided by God, but ain't God. That's why in the third step we can turn our will and our life over to the care of God as I've understood God. Why? Because it says so. Made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I've understood God. Well, I got Bill Wilson on tape where he defines it in one and two, so he named it in three coming out of his

mouth. He says I defined it in one and two. So I named it in three and I named it God because I was OK with God. But if you're not OK with God, call it whatever the hell you like. Nobody cares. That's why this power works for atheists and works for agnostics, works for all alkies if you be an alcoholic of our kind,

you see. And, and I can make a decision to turn my will in my life. What is my will in my life? My will is my thinking. My life is my actions. My will is my thinking, my life is my actions. But it has to be more than just for today, because I gotta stay sober today and I gotta live in the now and W no other way because I'm new, NEW, nothing else worked. But I can't live in the now because I've got guilt, shame and remorse from yesterday and I've got to live in there now. But I can't live in the now, dragging around all this

shame, remorse from yesterday. And I've got to live in the now. But I can't live in the now because I've got fear, worry and anxiety about tomorrow.

I gotta live in the now. But I've got guilt, shame, remorse from yesterday and I got fear, worry and anxiety about tomorrow. But I gotta live in there now. So that's why I turned my will in my life over to the care of God as I've understood God because it's got, I've got to live in the now. But it has to be everything I have done, am doing and will do. Everything I wish I'd done, would like to be doing and hope I'll do in a three-part section so that I can live in the now without carrying guilt, shame or remorse. And what what fear, worry and anxiety so that I can

new just concentrating on today, not drinking today. And in the beautiful book, it's different to the step in the book it says right after the ABC's now we're at step three. What does this mean that we turned our will and our life over to God. Well, I made the mistake of doing that. I turn my will and my life over to God. Guess what? God turned it back and said I don't want it. I gave it to you. What are you giving it back to me for? I don't want it because in the step it says made a decision to turn my will of my life over to the care of God.

A totally different thing though. Often confused, I found that out about my white Jaguar sports car. I got a white Jaguar sports car in LA. 12 cylinder XJS White Jaguar sports car. I'm a limey for Christ sake, I'm in America. I'm like, am I happening dude?

Eyelash about and my wife Jaguar sports car, 12 steps, 12 traditions, 12 cylinders. Nothing wrong with that.

Yeah but it's a limey piece of shit is what it is. It's a Jaguar and they break down. Jaguars breakdown and when it breaks down I'll take it back to the mechanic I got it for and put it in his care for fixing and repair. But I don't give the bastard my car. It's my car, I own it, I'm responsible for it. DMV look for me for payment and registration for it

but I put it in his care for fiction and repair.

Now when I put my car in his care for fixing and repair, what do you think he wants me to do?