Steps 8 and 9 at the Stateline Retreat in Primm, NV

I'm Frank Jones. I'm an alcoholic.

I want to thank Bob and the folks that are responsible for having me here today. And I'm grateful to be here. And it is good to be sober. And I've loved the meeting so far and the talks and, and I am speaking on step 8:00 and 9:00. And if I'd have known I was going to do this, I'd probably work the damn things by now. But

just it's not easy, I got to tell you.

And if you're relatively new to Alcoholics Anonymous and you've attended the meetings,

I know you're just absolutely thrilled to know that you can't drink worth a damn and you don't know how to run your life. That you have a problem with insanity.

You probably now have been told that you got to believe in a God or higher power that you don't believe in. You got to write out everything you've done, and then you got to read it to somebody,

and Larry eloquently explained all the things wrong with you.

So I know you're just feeling like a champ right now.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm a winner.

I'm all over this one. I like it,

you see, because when I was out there drinking, I never did anything that my head didn't say it was OK to do.

Everything I did, my head said it was OK or I wouldn't have done it. And sobriety. Everything I do,

my head says it's OK or I wouldn't be doing it.

That's sad. That's why I have a sponsor

and before I make most of my decisions, I run it by

because my thinkers broke.

I got to tell you this, that when I first got sober and Alcoholics Anonymous, I actually said this at a participation meeting when they made the mistake of calling on me.

I never heard anybody with my drinking but me.

That's sad to even think that way. And then when the process of Alcoholics Anonymous and the things that we learn here and the things that we read and the things that we do,

for me,

I have to tell you that

at 10 years sober, my sponsor told me to quit trying to be what the group wanted me to be. I grew up in Alcoholics Anonymous in a group that was very active, very successful,

and damn near everybody in that group was an example.

Everybody worked. Everybody at the meetings that I seen them at treated everybody right.

They shook hands. They were friendly, They were sincere. At least I thought they were,

and I wanted to be like them.

Therefore the things that you've heard talked about today kept eating me up and I kept thinking I can't be like them. I

I had so much insanity in my head and so much grinding in my gut, and I had done so many bad things to so many people that there's no way I could reach the level that those people were at. And that's how I felt that I almost left Alcoholics Anonymous and I had 10 years sober.

And then my sponsor snapped me up and told me you don't have to be what this group wants you to be. You have to find out who you are and what you are and start working on that.

And I had done an inventory,

I had read it. I had talked about my defects of character and shortcomings.

Unlike some of the other speakers, I had a great mom and dad. I was born in Illinois and mom and dad were married each other 50 years. My dad worked on the railroad. My mom took care of me and my two brothers.

I was raised in the Catholic Church. I was made to go to church. I was made. I was baptized, I went to confession, I first Communion. I was confirmed. I had a good upbringing. The way a kid should be brought up in that religion with that family in the Midwest. I was astonishingly lucky to have had the childhood I had. I don't know where I went wrong.

I have grave emotional and mental disorders.

That is not a joke. That is me. A lot of people here have heard me speak before and you know that I am not naturally a kind, loving individual.

I really don't give a rat's ass about most people.

I'm just being honest with you. I'm not trying to be funny, I am being very serious.

And I had to learn an Alcoholics Anonymous how to act better than I felt, because my answer to any type of emotional discomfort or upheaval is to pop you in the mouth.

That was from grade school on.

I never heard my father raise his voice to my mother and they were married 50 years,

so I don't know where these things come from. My brothers and I didn't fight. I didn't fight. I know I had a lot of fear and I was ashamed of that because I wanted to be macho. But I don't know where those came from. And from a very early age, I could have started making my list. For amends.

I started shoplifting and stealing at a very early age. Mom would give me money to go to the store for and give me the list. I would shoplift the items, add the amounts up, get the change, keep the money and give her her change in the groceries.

That was by 3rd or 4th grade.

I was also fighting by then.

I disrespected my parents and there was no reason to do that.

I don't know where that came from.

I was fighting, causing trouble, lying and cheating and stealing,

and I really, in my mind, didn't think that it hurt anybody.

I really didn't think that it had an effect on their lives because they're adults

and that's how I was

when I started drinking. I played athletics in high school. I won nine varsity letters. I had a scholarship offer to go to college and play basketball.

My dad was proud of that, even though in my mind he really didn't care. That was my perception. I don't know where these problems came from to start with. I just had them

and after I'd started drinking I went downhill from there.

Besides disrespecting them, disrespecting my brothers, disrespecting any girl I dated in school,

I didn't beat her. For Christ's sakes, I'm not like Larry.

I guess I didn't get that low.

If anybody thinks they got here being an Angel, raise your hand.

Thank you,

but I went downhill from there. My stealing got worse, my drinking got worse, my fighting got worse.

I never think I affected anybody around me. Two weeks before I was supposed to graduate high school, I quit high school.

I had a fear of going to college

because what if I didn't make the team or get good enough grades to stay. It filled me with fear, but what my head told me. As I am tired of school

now, I didn't think about what effect that had on my parents.

I didn't think how that hurt them.

I didn't think about their disappointment.

I thought about me because I'm self obsessed, self absorbed and self-centered.

And so I quit high school and I joined the Marine Corps.

Exactly.

You should never go into Marine Corps. If you're afraid of the dark and you feel like a wimp and a wussy,

you should join the Navy.

Oh, all you sailors deal with it. Jesus

and I struggled and got through boot camp. We had blanket parties for people that couldn't do things right, and I led those, which means we pounded on those young men.

I didn't feel guilty about that for a long time. I couldn't tell anybody about my fear, and I had to learn to put a facade out there of what I thought a man should act like. I stole in the Marine Corps.

I fought in the bars

and

I made a stripe and lost it and got in all kind of trouble. And then finally

I perceived that the cab drivers overseas were ripping US servicemen off. And so I was going to get my money back and I beat a cab driver's face in with a rock and I was putting a bridge. I didn't think that bothered anybody. I didn't think about his family. I didn't think about his wife, how hard he had to work.

I didn't care.

I cared about me and getting mine. My father flew to Okinawa at his own expense to try to save his son, who when he joined the Marine Corps, which is me, he dropped me off in front of the train station. And I said I ain't right and I ain't calling and I'm not going to talk to you no more. And he said, I don't care, Get out of the car.

He flew over there. He paid for that man's surgery. He paid for his retirement. He gave the cab company amount of money.

Now he didn't have it, but those things didn't affect me and I didn't think about it. But I didn't think I owed an amends to anybody when I got sober. This is also a disease of delusion if you're an alcoholic of my type.

I didn't get thrown out of the Marine Corps when that happened. It was 1963 and 64, and it wasn't the way it is today. And he just talked to the commanding general and they sent me back to duty after 337 days in that Brig. In that Brig I stole,

I beat up other prisoners.

I broke a guards jaw. I thought he deserved it. The

I had no caring or feeling about the people around me.

I married a woman and took her to Camp Lejeune with me and she wants me to stay home and I can't.

I have to drink in the bars now.

I would abuse her verbally and emotionally and that would give me my excuse to leave that house. Some of the pain that I would feel overacting that way, alcohol took away when we had a child.

I had to be the boss and I would shake that little girl and throw her

in her crib

and then yell and scream at my wife and blame her.

That would give me an excuse to go drink

alcohol. Took away the guilt of being a bad father.

When I got sober, I didn't think I owed them an amends because if they didn't act that way, I wouldn't have acted that way.

This disease tells me when I'm drinking that I'm a good father.

I don't know what it tells you. It tells me I'm a good father.

Look where we live, look how we eat, look what they were. I'm a good dad,

my head tells me. I'm a good husband,

that's what my head tells me.

I volunteered and went to Vietnam.

I did not think about

what my wife had to do to raise that little girl, and when I went to Vietnam, she was pregnant. I had no concern for her.

I thought what I was doing was OK,

I was validating me.

In the interim of all of that, I had affairs and I didn't think they'd bothered her. As Larry said,

it's my business. I'm still providing. I'm still doing the things that I'm supposed to do. I didn't know what integrity was or fidelity.

I went to Vietnam. I was a sniper. I was over in 6768

and I drank

and I did a lot of bad things to a lot of people,

things I probably shouldn't have done.

In my mind, it's all just a part of war.

I didn't think about

impact, emotions or anything else

when I got wounded over during a siege of Caisson and Come Home.

I had found out. I don't usually say this in my talk because it's not about my wife,

it's about me when I speak.

She had gone out on me when I was over there and her and I were having an argument in a fight and my son had been born to us, my daughter, and I didn't think she had the right to do that.

I mean, after all, I'm a veteran for Christ sakes,

and I threatened to kill her and I went in the closet and got a gun out and come back in that kitchen to shoot that woman.

I didn't think about repercussions or the consequences of my actions. In my mind, she didn't shut up, so she deserved it.

My daughter was standing there

and I couldn't get the safety off that gun and I pushed a pin in at the base of the receiver. It was a firing pin and the gun went off and the bullet went through my hand down where my daughter was.

Shortly after that, we divorced.

I didn't think about the effect of that gunshot on that little girl.

It didn't hit her, so there's no harm, no foul.

I didn't think about my wife and what she had gone through and which what I had done to her.

That's how my life was drinking.

I went back to Vietnam a second time and repeated my bad actions from the first time and did a lot of bad things over.

These are the amends I have to make after I did that fifth step

with my sponsor,

after I got out of the Marine Corps. After 11 years, I became a police officer.

If you scared me on the streets, I beat you.

I didn't think there was anything wrong with that. The courts ain't going to do nothing. I will

if you didn't do things right or you lipped off to me. I plant dope on you, pencil whip you and take you to jail.

I didn't think there was anything wrong with that. My head says it's OK, there are criminals anyway.

I don't know how you were when you were drinking.

I don't know

what sobriety means to you.

I got remarried, we had a daughter and my wife got pregnant. I still had to have an affair with my partner who was a female.

her and I had an affair. She found out I got my wife pregnant. She shot me.

I didn't think about her, what she went through,

how it affected her,

the emotional impact it had on her or my wife or my children.

This is just what guys do.

I left the department. I got a job in real estate and I made a lot of money.

I was a big deal. I had an ego that was out of control and I'd buy things for everybody in the restaurant. I'd take their checks. I didn't think I was taking money from my family. I was making plenty.

I had affairs when I was in real estate and I didn't think about the consequences that I was never home with my children and my wife or anything else.

I ended up homeless and on the streets at the age of 36

and I got very sick. I didn't communicate with my wife and my family. I didn't communicate with my parents

and I got sober. A woman that I had worked real estate with had taken me to a doctor and then my parents found out I was dying on the streets and had me committed. My dad paid for that out of his pocket. He didn't have insurance and he paid for that.

I hadn't spoke to them in four years, but I figured that was the least he could do.

Now. I don't know if you think I owe any amends or not.

When I got here I didn't think so.

My head told me everything I did was OK.

I was introduced to Alcoholics Anonymous in the 12 steps in these 12 traditions

and I didn't go to meetings after I was introduced to it for 13 months.

And my wife and kids told me I got a lot worse then than I ever was drinking.

And I was verbally abusive

and I was carrying a gun

and I was acting the way I used to act. That's without Alcoholics Anonymous.

I threw a old lady's groceries all over a grocery store because she had more than 10 items in the 10 item line.

I thought I was justified in doing that because she had about 13 items.

That's what my head says.

I put a gun in a guy's face for driving too slow on the freeway and threatened to kill him.

If he wasn't driving that way, I wouldn't have done it. So it's really not my fault. It's his.

I don't know how you think

with or without AAI only know how I think. I only know one can think about the job that my group had when I got there.

For me to be here today,

I'm surprised that, well, probably half of them did. What an order. I can't go through with it,

Sharon,

but that's how I was until I flipped out with a nervous breakdown and got taken to my sponsor and my Home group

and I didn't think I owed an amends to anybody.

I figured I quit drinking, I'm sober, I'm OK.

I found out that I had to make a list of all persons I had harmed and become willing to make amends to the mall.

Now, you may think that that only includes the people that's in your inventory.

In my case, it was not

because I left a lot of people out that I didn't think needed to be in there. I didn't have a resentment against them. I didn't feel guilt, I didn't feel fear. I didn't feel anything.

And so they didn't need to be in that inventory.

I was told that I needed to sit down and go over my life

and look at all these things.

When I started telling my sponsor about the things I had done

and how they affected the people around me, not how they affected me because I'm in material in that process right there. I needed to look at them

and what I did to him,

what I did to him emotionally, what I did to him physically,

what I did to him financially,

how I let him down.

Now, when you're a blackout drinker, trying to remember all of that is difficult

and I had to make a list.

And let me tell you this right off too. This will probably irritate some of these, but I really don't care.

My sponsor didn't tell me.

I want you to put yourself on the top of that list.

That is horseshit, OK? I mean, I'm just going to tell you,

if you think you have to make amends to yourself, you have bigger mental disorders than you really think.

I don't know. I haven't met anybody. And Alcoholics Anonymous to this day. I've been sober 28 years, 11 months and change.

I haven't met anybody to this day that was working for charities out there

and doing good for people and going to church and praying and giving and being wonderful. They may act like it when they get here, but they weren't.

If you're like me, everything you did out there

was for your benefit,

to make you feel good, to get you money, to get you prestige, to get you image, to get you something.

You didn't do anything for anybody else. If you're like me,

if somebody tells you to put your name at the top of the list,

in my opinion, they're trying to kill you

and I wouldn't hang around.

I started at my childhood with my parents.

They not only

we're disappointed

and let down and spend a lot of money

on me to try to save me and help me that they had to be first

than my brothers. I had two of them.

One of them died sober.

How I treated them,

what I did to them, the things I stole from them,

the times that I smack both of them around. They're bigger than me, but that's the way it goes.

I had to have them on the list

all the way back to elementary school. The guy punched in the face in 3rd grade and broke his nose.

It ain't just the people on your inventory because he wasn't in it. The way I treated the teachers,

the way I treated people in the school system, the way I treated my teammates, and I didn't give them the 100%. I had to have all those people on there,

the United States Marine Corps,

because I didn't give them 100%.

I embarrassed him.

I cost them money,

so they had to be on there.

The Police Department where I worked,

when the things I cost the city,

I had to have my first wife on there and my second wife,

I had to put them on there. I had to put my children on there. That was a given.

All the people in real estate that I ripped off messed over the offices I disrupted,

the seminars and training sessions that I disrupted and cost people money.

The 2G pro shops I tore up when I was drunk and beat the pros ass.

They took my club membership but that should have been enough that I

I had to put them on, that

I had to put down aunts and uncles and grandmas.

My dad's brother had his father-in-law living with him and he was blind.

When my uncle went to work and my aunt went to work, I'd sneak in the house because he couldn't see me and steal cash out of the drawer. When my uncle kept it when I was a kid, I had to put them on the list.

I had to go over my entire life. It ain't just about what you put in Step 5, because you won't remember everything. If you're like me,

I had a list of amends to make

that was pages more than my inventory.

And when I looked at it originally, I thought, I don't know these people in apology.

I mean, they went on with their life. So what?

I don't know what your attitude is when you have already done your 5th step and talked about your defects of character and shortcomings and you have to make that list of amends. I don't know what your thought process is. I don't know how good you think you were.

It all opened up to me how bad I was

actually. I had no redeeming qualities. Probably to this day I have very few.

I am not a wonderful human being today.

I make a lot of amends to a lot of people. You probably can't tell, but I'm still intense.

I'm very outspoken, I'm very opinionated. I judge everybody. I'm critical. And a lot of people I speak to, they think I'm a Bracey.

Well, I am

and I don't use it as a cop out that I'm trying. I am me. I had to learn to be comfortable in my own skin, not at your expense,

but for my sanity.

And I don't have to. What you see today is what you get.

I am not a phony

and I'm not a nice guy,

but in Alcoholics Anonymous,

what I try to do is to help anybody that needs help in this program. I really don't like civilians. I don't like people at Anna AAI. Just don't know

and that's just me,

but I really put an effort in to be in a good AA member

and I'm not all the time.

I say things I shouldn't,

I act the way I shouldn't,

and it doesn't matter how much time you have. It's just me,

but I love Alcoholics Anonymous.

It saved my sanity is what it's done. That's just the bottom line.

So I had to make that list and I had to go through my entire life. And by the time I did that, there was people in my Home group I had to make amends to,

and a lot of my neighbors and everything else,

the ninth step says made direct amends wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

I thought, ha ha, I don't have to really make all these amends.

I'm going to get away with some because I really didn't think that I needed to make those amends because it probably hurt them

or others.

Well, that's not a cop out step.

That's a step that you have to put an effort into. For me, I don't know about you, but I know for me, I had to put an effort into it.

And I went to the folks that were on that list

and I made those amends to my dad and my mom and my brothers and my wives and my kids. And

there's people in the in the group that I had offended

repeatedly.

And what I had to learn to do is try not to repeat those things and to do them again.

And that's hard for me, maybe not for you, but for me it's very difficult.

And

there's a lot of things that I had on that list, a lot of people and organizations and

individuals and schools and things that I didn't know how I was going to do that. I talked to my sponsor, and by then I had started to make some friends. I'm going to tell you how sick Larry is. He and I are friends,

so there's one I got here.

That's why there's only six pallbearers at a funeral

in my case. Those, those two guys are going to have to drag that damn casket down the aisle. Ain't going to be able to lift it.

So that's about the friends I have.

I have a lot of respect for a lot of people in AA,

but what I had to do

is besides making a list of things I had done physically, I had to make a list of financial amends. And I stole a lot of stuff. And I didn't know how I was going to make direct amends.

And the places I could, I did.

And then the places I can't. Overseas, I've been in 27 foreign countries.

I can't do it there.

So what my sponsor told me to do,

and this was back in the early 80s, he says. You put $2.00 in the basket, one for a A and one for somebody you stole from that you'll never see again.

I said, well, when can I stop? He said I'll let you know.

He hasn't let me know yet.

He's also upped it. I now have to put $5 in the basket at every meeting. 3 for a A and two for somebody I stole from I'll never see again. And I still do that to this day. And I go to four or five meetings a week and I put 5 bucks in the basket.

I had to go around to these folks and do that. I owed my dad a lot of money. He paid for my hospital bills.

I owed him over $82,000.

I didn't ask him to come over to Okinawa

and Get Me Out of the Brig. That's his problem, not mine.

My sponsor said no,

he wasn't planning a vacation there,

he was coming over to get your ass out of the Brig.

You owe him the plane fare of the hotel and everything he paid you beat the cab driver. He didn't. So everything he paid you get a figure from him, you start paying him. He put you in that hospital to save your life. You owe him that money. Pay him back for that hospital visit

and I set up a payment plan for my dad.

That's what I had to do.

I spent a year in the Marine Corps, in the Brig, and when I got out I was still drinking. I had to make that year up at the end of my enlistment of four years. So I did five years on my first enlistment. That's the way it was. Back then, anytime you had lost time, you had to make it up. At the end of your enlistment. They extended you out. But I was drinking and I went to my sponsor in 1984 and said, you know,

this still bothers me a little bit, that I didn't give him good time. I was still drinking and fighting in the bars and stuff.

I said I'm going to try to go back into Marine Corps Reserve

and he said well submit your paperwork kid and see what they say. I had been out 13 years and I submitted my paperwork to Headquarters Marine Corps to re enlisted the Marine Corps Reserve.

They took me back.

I was old.

I was in my 40s. Everybody in the Marine Corps Reserve is in their teens and 20s. They run my butt into the ground. I did my year and I went to my sponsor and said I did a year good time and talked to the young men and women in the Marine Corps Reserve. Can I get out now? And my sponsor said, when would you get a retirement if you stayed in? I said eight more years. He said. I'll tell you when you can get out, kid.

That's one of those.

Desert Storm happened in 1990

and I went to my sponsor. I was speaking all over the US and everything. I was a big deal

and I went to my sponsor and told him I'm in the Marine Corps reserve plants. I made my amends and stuff. I can just get out anytime I want and I know our unit's going to be activated. Can I get out? He said when's your contract up with him? I said in two years. He said pack your sea bag kids, you're going.

I got activated for Desert Storm. I was gone almost a year. What's funny about that is we went over and staged in Okinawa.

There is no time in my life I would have ever had that opportunity.

I got to go speak in the Brig I was locked up in.

I got to tell those guys in their orange jumpsuits that your life's not over because you're in here

because they came to the A meeting. I said if you put your life into a A, your life will change and you'll never have to come back to someplace like this.

And I got to make amends. I got to go out in the Ville

and make amends, and some of the Mama sons that worked those bars were still there and they remembered me.

It had been 30 years

and I gave them money

and I kept my young troops because I was the company gunnery Sergeant. I kept them out of trouble.

I got to tip the cab drivers

a lot more than I would have ordinarily

as part of my immense

I'd have never had that opportunity had I not been sober, had I not had a sponsor, had he not directed me to do what I was to do.

Very few people get that opportunity when they've done something far away. I got to do that.

I got to stay in the Marine Corps and I retired a Sergeant major.

Your tax money gives me a check every month

and I want to thank you.

I just want you to know

that me and my wife are grateful.

So that's an amends I got to make an amends I had. It was hard, was my first wife.

I had to make direct amends to her. I went to my daughters graduation from high school.

I was a little less than four years sober.

I wasn't well yet.

And he said, well, while you're back there, why don't you go on and make amends to her? She'll be there.

OK.

I went to that graduation and I'm sitting there in that auditorium

and she walked in

and I was sorry. I didn't shoot him.

I wasn't going to make amends to her

if I could have got within arm's reach. I choked her.

That's how I felt at that point in time. I had to leave the the auditorium and call my sponsor and tell him I can't make the amends.

I'll do something stupid if I do, he said. Then stay away from her right now and don't say anything to her.

After my daughter graduated, the reception was at my parents house and she showed up.

I called my sponsor, said I think I'm OK now. I just said the Serenity Prayer over and over and over,

he said. All right, pull her aside and make the amends. Tell her you're sorry

for the part you played in making her life uncomfortable and miserable.

Her and I stepped outside and I said that to her.

She said I accept your apology. I almost drilled her. I thought, where's yours? Apologized to me.

I didn't get that way. Just out of the clear blue. You had something. It ain't about her, it's about me.

I have to clean my side of the street,

not her side of the street,

and I haven't had any heartburn about her since then.

I have to remember what she did with my daughter and my son.

She did the best she could.

My actions. I don't know about your actions,

but my actions

when I was out there drinking

was pretty pathetic and bad.

I made that statement when I shared one night at our Tuesday meeting that I didn't hurt anybody when I was out there. But me. I had about 14 months sober.

I'll tell you how I heard him

and you can give this some thought. When I got sober,

the two daughters that were living with me and my second wife was three and eight years old

now. I apologize to those kids. I made amends to them just the way I was told to do by my sponsor,

and they cried. Somebody asked me. Thursday I spoke at Johnny's Under the Bridge meeting on the steps 8:00 and 9:00, and somebody asked me, have you ever had to make an amends for making an amends? I said yeah to my daughters

because I made him cry.

I didn't want to do that. That wasn't my goal,

so I had to make another amends for making him cry.

My youngest daughter

was three.

She never told me she loved me

or hug me until she was sick.

I had to be three years sober in my group working hard to try and do this deal

just to get her to that point where she could say she loved me.

If you don't think you hurt the people around you,

you need to rethink that. If you're like me,

I can make an excuse and rationalization for everything

because of making amends to them. I have a relationship with those kids today. That daughter I almost shot that day in Oceanside

as general counsel for the medical corporation when she added she got married and when she had her son, she named him after me. That ain't because I'm a good man or a good dad. I'm not a good dad.

I made an effort to be a good member of AAI, made an effort to take the book to heart, the steps to heart, the traditions to heart, and everything my sponsor said to heart.

As a result of that, I have a relationship with her. I got to spend Thanksgiving with her this year and my 4 grandkids. My middle daughter has a master's degree and teaches 5th grade.

her and I talked two or three times a week. I love my daughter. They're great. It's because of Alcoholics Anonymous and these 12 steps that we stand here and balk at sometimes. I don't want to do my inventory

then give out.

That's all. Don't do it. It's your life you're playing. You bet your life. What is your life worth? What is comfort and a quiet head? What is that worth when you've destroyed, if you're like me, everything around you?

I don't know what that's worth to you,

but I'm going to tell you the benefit I got from making those amends with my daughters. Eye to eye. I got back a hell of a lot more than I put into it,

and when I hear people say I'm overpaid,

yes indeed I'm overpaid. I know that.

That youngest daughter that took three years to tell me she loved me and give me a hug. I was going to a meeting one night and she crawled up on my lap. She'd give me a hug. She said. I love you, Dad.

If that's the only thing I got in sobriety my entire 28 years, that's enough

S enough for me.

I don't know what's enough for you.

I don't know, but it was enough for me.

The easiest thing to lose in sobriety is your gratitude.

The hardest thing to get back is that gratitude.

You get a little time, you think they owe you,

they need to do for you now. Larry said it.

Everybody else that spoke said it. Selfish and self centeredness.

I have a relationship with that little girl today. She's not little anymore. She's a police officer.