Workshop on the Three Legacies in Victoria, TX

Well, my name is Norman and I'm a real alcoholic

and I'm grateful to be part of the Three Legacies workshop and I am going to talk about the principles of recovery today. And thank you for inviting me to be part of this. I I want to begin by saying that what you do is far less important than who you are.

And the big Book describes our problem as the spiritual malady, that we are spiritually sick and that we have a spiritual solution to this, and also that we have recovered from a hopeless state of mind and body. And some will also say that we are still recovering and it seems like a contradiction, but it's true because we can recover from the mental obsession and from the physical cravings,

but we have our our recovering from the spiritual malady, alcoholism. And the Big Book says we have a daily reprieve from this contingent upon our spiritual condition. So it is an ongoing process. The Big Book is full of anomalies like this, things that seem to contradict each other. For instance, in one part it says that we are rocketed into a fourth dimension,

but in another place it says there's a long period of reconstruction ahead. So what is it? Are we on the rocket or is it going to be a long time of recovery? How do you reconcile this? Well, one is an external experience, that reconstruction, building trust, making amends, amending your fences, and the other is an internal experience,

being in that place of happiness, joy, and freedom that the Big Book talks about.

No matter what your outer life, your circumstances do not define your inner spiritual condition. That inner peace comes from being right with God, right with yourself, and right with others. And that's what I'm Speaking of when I say that who you are is more important than what you do.

And we're talking about being

people, not doing things.

Umm, but is what we do important? Of course it is. Ours is a program of action, right? But what action and why is vitally important to distinguish if you want to have a successful experience in recovery?

All of us have seen those people who are going 90 miles an hour, going to treatment centers, going to jails, attending meeting, sponsoring, to all appearances active. Yet they relapse and they come back in and they say, well, I must not have been thorough four step, well, I guess I better work the steps again. And they think they have missed some significant piece of information along the way.

But what has happened is that what's going on, on the outside? They may have been doing a lot, but what was happening

on the inside? There's a lot of people in the fellowship who become service junkies. They're busy and occupied every single moment of their day, thinking that they can solve what is an internal problem with external action.

They're headed in the right direction but still off track and do not go away from here. Say Norma said that service work is not important.

That is not the message that I have today because, you know, service work saved my life and new people. It is a vital part of our program of recovery

of the big Book says our problem is selfishness and self centeredness. That we are driven people, driven by 100 forms of fear, that our lives have been fueled by these things, selfish ambition,

motives, fear driven action and attitudes. What's worse, we live in a society that supports this. Today's therapist will tell you you can't love anyone until you love yourself. We're given professional permission by professional enablers to put ourselves first. But what is the big Book say? That our recovery is not based on receiving, but they're giving,

and that perhaps there is a better way. Not the way of selfishness and fear, but the way that enables us to rely on God, who can match all of your calamity with all of his serenity. Big BIC says lack of power is our problem,

so our higher power is our solution.

But can I get that power from God if I'm blocked by my own selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, or fear?

The action necessary to connect with the power of God is not going to 100 meetings a week, sponsoring as many people as you can, and having more service commitments than is humanly possible.

If you look at the chapter into action,

this chapter is not about being active with service work. It starts with Step 5

in which we develop humility and it is dealing with the inner spiritual condition that our program of action begins.

It moves on through steps 6:00 and 9:00 through which we gain a little more integrity seeking guidance where we develop that sixth sense requiring open mindedness and willingness. It get to it takes to gain intuitive thoughts that come from God and then the maintenance steps of 10 and 11. That is what is in the chapter into action.

It requires daily commitment, unselfish sacrifice, faith, and trust. All of this proceeds

chapter working with others,

because if you have not cleared away the wreckage of the past, if you've not dealt with your character defects, if you fail to begin the immense process, you're not fit for service.

I'm not saying don't do service,

I'm saying this enables us to be more fit.

So if you follow directions, you find yourself at step 10, the inventory. It is here that we examine and what we have blocked the grace of God from my life as it talks about in the 12:00 and 12:00.

How do we develop the principles of our recovery program? How do we live a spiritually principled type of life? Look at the inventory process. These are the kind of questions that are going to rise. Have I been asking God for financial aid when I still owe financial

debts I haven't repaid? Do I want people to love and accept me but I'm withholding friendship and love from someone in my life? Do I have a bad attitude towards someone in fellowship?

Don't answer these questions.

Talk to your sponsor.

Do I want my father or mother to accept me? Yet I have not acted like a son or a daughter to them.

These are the things that come to light through the inventory process and being accountable to a sponsor, the book says. We search out the flaws in our makeup. It's not liquor that is the problem. It is the manifestation of self.

We've entered the world of the Spirit that indicates we're trying to leave another world behind. The world of selfishness. Driven by fear. We put down our weapons. What are our weapons? Blaming, manipulating, deceiving, guilt tripping, etcetera. We've ceased fight. We've surrendered our power to the power of God.

Here's another anomaly. We surrender in order to win the game of life.

We're no longer in the dog eat dog world.

It's not up to me to try to win. I have someone else on my side.

We have to die itself in order to live. That's enough prayer, Saint Francis.

Our weapons. Those of the defective character, those of a flawed makeup, someone who's still blaming. Manipulative, deceptive, arrogant, egotistical, prideful. These are all my inventory, y'all

attitudes and actions that are harmful and block us in our relationships with each other and within the Fellowship.

Our program of action includes the nightly review. Actually, my day for tomorrow begins the night before,

because if I go to sleep angry, resentful, afraid, anything in my heart that is unresolved, it is already affected tomorrow.

I used to tell my friends, you know, I'm glad God's mercies are new every morning, because so are my resentments, you know?

Step 11. Step 11 suspiciously looks like step 10. It has some of the same elements, it says, where we resemble selfish, dishonest, or afraid. Do we owe an apology? Have we kept something to ourselves which should have been discussed with another person at once? Were we kind and loving toward all? What could we have done better?

Thinking of ourselves most of the time? Or were we thinking of what we could do for others, what we could pack into the stream of life? Doesn't that sound like Step 10? But there's a difference because in step 11 we take all of that and we inquire of God as to what to do

after making our review. We ask for God's forgiveness and we ask what corrective measures

could be taken. This is not a self help program, it is a God help program.

Nowhere in our big bake does it say ask someone else for help. Like the mainstream therapist will tell you, it says ask God for help and help someone else.

What do we ask God for?

Here's what it says. Inspiration. Intuitive thought, A decision. What our next step is to be. What corrective measures to take to be freed from self will ask for the right thought or action for forgiveness?

I need God to direct my thinking because I know what my world is like when Norma's in charge, you know? When I'm God, everybody dies, you know,

and many times I will have a sponsee call me and she will have a very huge crisis on her hand and she'll say, Norma, what do I do?

I'm not going to play mother, counselor, preacher, you know, I mean, that is not my role. My role is to help her to connect with God.

Somewhere I might have to say, have you done a four step on this? Have you done your 10th step? Have you asked God what to do? Yeah, I don't know what you're going to do, but God knows, you know, Follow the simple directions outlet in this book and the answers will come if your own house is in order. The Big Book says this process may be an only occasional thing at first, but soon it becomes a working part of our mind.

We developed that vital spiritual sense, the connection that our fear blocked,

our selfishness blocked. It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action. What action? Inventory, prayer, meditation. That's what it's talking about in the Interaction chapter. We still haven't arrived at Step 12. We're looking for a vision of God's will to carry with us into Step 12. But we can't get that if we're still full of ourselves,

our resentments and our self pity. What is our role in life? It tells clearly on page 63. Keep close to him.

Performance work. Well, that's all I have to do. God will do the rest. The only way I can keep close to God is to remove those steps, those blocks in step 10 and 11. Listen for his guidance. Think on this all you want, the Big Book says

it's proper use of the will. We don't have to bombard our problems with our willpower, bombard them with God power. It's no longer up to us to try to figure it out.

We're not running the show.

We don't think our way into right acting. We act our way into right thinking in the simple way outlined in this book

when our thought life, which is our meditation, is placed on a higher plane when our thinking is

clear of wrong methods. It's really hard to wait to think your way out of a problem when you're full of resentment and anger. It's hard to hear from God when you're burning with jealousy, envy and the like. The crisis we created is self-imposed. It says on page 53. Did our own actions and attitudes that have been grounded in selfishness and fear.

So it is after this process that the Big Book mentions working with others

and how it works. The defining word and how it works is thoroughness.

No one fails if they have thoroughly followed our path and

completely given themselves to this simple program. You know, it's too simple for some of us,

and the problem is some of us get here too early.

On page 25 it says almost none of us liked the self searching, the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the process requires for its successful consummation.

We don't like it.

It gets good results if you are seriously alcoholic, as we were. We believe there is no middle of the road solution. We were in position where life was becoming impossible. We had passed through that region from which there is no return through human aid. We had two alternatives. 1 go on to the bitter end, blocking out the consciousness of our intolerable situation best we could. The other

except spiritual help, this we did because we honestly wanted to and we're willing to make the effort.

You know, if you want to escape that place where your life is impossible, that region for which there is no return, no ticket out through human means,

if you find yourself addicted and afflicted,

and it is only through the desperation of the dying that will give you a new life. This requires complete, abandoned, not half measures.

The promises are being fulfilled, it says, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.

What determines this?

We'll look at the next sentence. They will always materialize if we work for them. What work?

It says this thought, the work. This thought brings us to step 10, which suggests we continue to take personal inventory, continue to set, write any new mistakes. As we go along, we vigorously commence this way of living. As we cleaned up the past, we have entered the world of the Spirit. Our next function is to grow

in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime. Continue to watch selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discussed them with someone immediately,

make amends quickly if we've harmed them, and resolutely turn ourselves to someone we can help. Love and tolerance code. Did you hear the tone of that spiritual action? Vigorously, at once, quickly, resolutely.

I don't think they want us to drag our feet in this park.

This is how we grow in understanding and effectiveness.

Sponsors that I talked to after relapse, first thing I asked them is are you doing your inventory? Well, no. Are you doing your nightly review? Well, no, I've been busy. Have you been going to God for guidance? Have you been praying? Well, no. I kind of left that off. I already know if they're calling me or not. You know, have you finished your men's? Have you been doing any kind of service work? All of these elements that make up our program,

you know, someone can slide along reasonably happy for a long time without doing these things,

but eventually they relapsed because again, you can look real good on the outside. You can look like you're pretty busy,

but

I know who's experienced promises. I know I only see it, but I hear it when people talk in meetings. How many of you have been in meetings and you heard that member that opens their mouth to speak and half the group gets up to go get coffee?

Why? You know they're riding on some mountaintop experience that happened 20 years ago and nothing else has happened since then. We already know what they're going to say. There's nothing new to share.

There have been no changes.

It's easy to let up on the spiritual program of action, rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we if we do. Again, the spiritual life is not a theory, you know, and I'm, I'm talking about, you know, there are people that want to look good and impress others. This is again about our motives.

We cannot sacrifice one part of our program for another, any part.

And I'm supposed to be talking about the principles of our recovery program. And I've been speaking to this in a roundabout way because it takes a lot of courage to live a spiritual life. It's easier to drink than to admit your fear.

It's easier to be arrogant than to work on humility by doing an inventory. The people we are attracted to NAA are people who have developed integrity because they know the truth about themselves.

You can't disconnect your circumstances from your choices.

You know,

there's a quality to our decision that affects the quality of your life and recovery.

People that have that truth about themselves, they have that habit of prayer and meditation. They're seeking guidance. They're listening to God on a regular basis. The people who have found wisdom beyond their own perseverance, they're continuing to carry the vision of God's will every day, no matter how they feel.

Generous with their time, money and resources,

conduits of love strongly connected to the source of love. And they not only experience this, they exercise it. You know, love being not just a feeling, but an act, a commitment, much like in the marriage where the commitment continues long after the initial feeling of romance might be gone. And that's not true in my marriage. Anybody who knows Dave and I, but

he has a little more testosterone than the average.

Those in the fellowship that hold our respect are those who show patience, who continue to do what is right even in the midst of a challenging situation, waiting for the miracle instead of jumping ahead of God.

They know that suffering is not an excuse for giving up.

They endure by holding on to gratitude, knowing that every circumstance can be a gift

through which we are transformed and that joint pain can coexist, Bill Wilson wrote. The joy of living we really have, even under pressure and difficult.

Now I return to what I said in the beginning. What you do is less important than who you are,

being willing to follow the directions of your sponsor, of the group conscience, of what you hear from God. Faith alone is not enough. Prayer alone is not enough. Service alone is not enough to be fight. Vital faith must be accompanied by self sacrifice and unselfish construction action.

However deep your faith, however broad your knowledge, if you fail to practice the principles embodied in our legacies,

the promises and gifts of the program will always elude you.

And this brings me to speak a word about two opposite types of people in our fellowship, those who relapse and come in and out, and those who are constantly in the limelight.

One reason we have a lot of people who frequent we relapse is because this is not the A A of 1930

where only the desperate arrive at our doors. Our doors are open to all and there are a lot of people in our meetings who are less desperate.

That does not mean we do not offer them love or tolerance. Shut the door in their face with our judgmental attitude simply because they relapse. I I can tell you of three individuals I know today that have been in treatment center after treatment center after treatment center. They were called crazy. They were called, you know, unwilling, not working hard enough,

and you know,

today they have over 30 years of sobriety because someone was loving and tolerant yet able to speak the truth to them. We have to keep the door of our heart open no matter what we think in our mind about another person. We have no requirement for our membership other than a desire to stay sober. And if someone expresses that no matter who they are and are reasonably well behaved,

that's good enough for us.

Our common welfare must come first.

Gossiping about new people or old people, you know,

that doesn't help our fellowship.

And then there are those a, a personalities we always see up front. They're like celebrities because they're so well known. And here's what I want to say about them.

No one person represents a A I do not represent a A.

To be a great speaker is not the pinnacle of the success of recovery, Bill Wilson wrote. A A services anything that helps to reach a fellow sufferer and there are many ways to carry the message.

While we certainly appreciate those who can carry the message through speaking and workshops and such, and we enjoy someone like my husband, Blind Dave, who can share their experience, strength and hope with eloquence with our charm and a couple of off color jokes.

These members are no less important than a than that person who answers the phone at the local Intergroup office or the guy that opens up the meeting every night, the person serving on committees, the GSR, the DCM, our delegates, you know, involved in our service structure. Frequently we hear the person most remembered by those grateful to be in a A today was the one who greeted them at the door,

gave him a cup of coffee, put a phone number in their pocket

the first night of their first meeting.

And also, unity between our groups is vital to us. There aren't any bad AA groups y'all, and

there aren't any best AAA groups. We're just a bunch of drunks who normally would not mix. And I hear people say all it takes is a resentment and a coffee pot to start a new group.

All I'd like to offer All right, you work on your resentment, pay for your coffee and stay and make your group healthy instead of jumping ship.

Are there problems among our groups? Of course there are. Since the 1960s and the advent of treatment centers, addictions, specialist court programs, all kinds of things have infiltrated our meetings, and people bring stuff in that has nothing to do with the message of recovery. There has been a continual dilution and misinterpretation of who and what a A is and does.

And yes, groups do have problems, but that is what the group conscience is for, to let God speak through the group to bring about change in solution. The podium is not the appropriate place to to air opinions about A as a whole, our group differences and difficulties.

And chances are individuals who do this are not familiar with are involved in the service structure

or they would have a better understanding and respect toward how to solve these kinds of problems. Individual A A members who condemn, criticize or complain publicly about a A or a A groups damage the unity of our fellowship. I think

we have GSR's, we have DCM, we have delegates to help us deal with these things

that need change. Again, as I said, God through our group conscience, Doctor Bob knew things would change. He warned US against it. He said, Bill, don't screw this thing up. Keep it simple,

he said. Love and service would keep us dry. In 1960, Bill wrote that genuine simplicity. Debt today is to be found in whatever principles, practices and services that can permanently ensure our widespread harmony and effective effectiveness, and that unity for SA. As is a matter of life and death,

the steps of recovery have saved our lives,

the traditions have saved our groups, and if we truly practice the principles and all our affairs, including our recovery fellowship, unity will only add to our life. Whether it be at the kitchen table, over coffee, cake and cake are at the International Convention.

I want to thank you again for the privilege of being here today and for the most priceless gift we have together, our recovery.