The 21st Annual AA Fall Mens Retreat in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada

All right. Welcome back, everybody. I'm Tim. I'm an alcoholic.

Yeah. OK, we're ready for the home stretch here, guys. I know you guys are tired listening to me. I know I'm tired. Listen to me, that's for sure. But a couple things where I get into the 12 step here. First of all, I one of one of the things that I mean, I love these things and was telling a group of guys the other day, I mean, the wonderful part about Alcoholics Anonymous, you show up at a place like this, you know, and

you leave with intimate friends, you know, I mean it, it's, you know, the bond is so quick and so immediate. And then I'm always sad sometime going home, the airplanes and I might never see these guys again. And so to that end, one of the things we've been talking about is I hope a lot of you ever plan on going to the International in San Antonio next July.

And if you are, I really want to, I want to leave my e-mail address

and phone number with with you, Chris, maybe. And I don't know how you could get this out, but I won. I'd love to stay in contact with any of you who want to by e-mail. And, you know, it's one of the great things about that today is, you know, it really makes the world so much smaller. And I mean, I got e-mail, you know, conversations going on with people, you know, over United States and Canada and Hawaii and different places that I've met along the way. And, and it's so easy and that you know, I'm staring looking at my computer all day anyway when I'm at work. So

if you'd want to do that, I'd love to have you e-mail back and forth and stay in touch. And if you're going to San Antonio, you know, it's got my cell number on it, my e-mail mail number. I love to hook up with some of you guys when they're there because that's what really makes that fun. If if you've never been to an international, it's something you really need to treat yourself to. It's something to be hold when you see 60,000 people

all in there holding hands saying the our father one at a time. I mean it's pretty powerful stuff and those of you have been there know what I'm talking about. If you were in Toronto or if you were in

Minneapolis or any of them before that. So, you know, really, I hope that you know, you'll, you'll, you'll take me up on that and do that. And hopefully our paths will cross again. You know, somebody at the break was talking about the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous and what an incredible book it's turned out to be.

And when I was in Ottawa a couple weeks ago, there was a lady who spoke with me, a very interesting lady. First time I met her names. Lorna, I don't know her last name, but she was one of the speakers and from New York. I don't know if you've heard her along the way. She's got an English accent and, but she's from New York and she's a very interesting person. She works as an auctioneer at Sotheby's in, in New York City, which is, if you know about that, that's a big time auction place and they do the big time auctions.

And she was telling this story about, as it turned out, several years back or a while back, they had the occasion to auction off the original manuscript or one of the original first editions of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. And just like they do everything else, a lot of people showed up and, you know, they auctioned it off and I think it went for, you know, a couple $1,000,000, the guy who who actually bought the original manuscript. And

the funny part she was saying is that she was there and obviously that she wasn't the auctioneer that day. This other guy was. And so they auctioned it off and

this guy who had no idea what he was doing, when the book sold for the $2,000,000, he turned around to her and said, who is this guy anyway? Did he write anything else?

And she said no, that, you know, that's pretty much was the main book. And you know, I say that because sometimes as a as AI started off the thing we take for granted, you know, that book and the in the 12 steps of alcoholic synonymous have had a proud effect on

Jeez, how many sayings? I mean how he'd spread not only to, you know, a A and you've got Al Anon and, you know, CA and just on down the line and and and the spiritual process that was suggested that we've talked about this weekend.

I mean, obviously it works for us because it saves our lives and we need it to stay alive, But certainly other people have are using what he wrote and it's made the world a better place to live in, and that's for sure. And, you know, while I'm on that point too, we talked a lot last night or I've talked with some guys afterwards about Al Anon And, and I just want to say, you know, a lot of parts of the country and down in the USI mean, it's kind of like

Al Anon and a a or, you know, at war or opposite sides of the, of the deal.

And I, I, I just think that's unfortunate because I'm a big al Anon guy. You know, I mean, I guess based on my own experience and haven't seen how sick the people that are around us get, you know, that that part of our program is so crucial. And you know, some of the things that they that they emphasize in Al Anon, especially detachment, detaching with love

has been such a, you know, item in my own life. And we were talking about last night, some of you got situations going of detaching from loved ones

who are in sick and unhealthy, you know, conditions. And actually when my daughter was going through what she was going through, I was, I was driven to Al Anon. We have a men's Al Anon group in Louisville and I spent some time there and, and I, I don't do it on a regular basis,

but I absolutely supportive of it 100%. And you know, down in Texas, I'm going down there next month. I don't know why this is. Texas is a state. I've never seen anything like it. They have more double winners than any place I've ever seen. That's what they call them. And the double winner is that that you're in the program of AA and Eleanor

in the Texas man to man conference that they have down there. It is, it is all men, but it's a A and it's Al Anon. And they'll have a, you know, 2A speakers and an Al Anon speaker. And I'm telling you they must, you know, they'll have 25% of the people there are double winners, you know, and I just, it's not the way around our area at home, but you know, Texas for some reason is big about that. So I just, I just wanted to say that any of you have contact with Al Anon or you're in Al Anon. I mean, I, I think it can only certainly

to the deal and I'd certainly encourage everybody to do that.

You know, just talk a little bit about the end all and the be all, you know, the 12th step. And, and I really say that because, you know, I think I a lot of people missed the boat on what the 12th step was all about. In other words, what's happening around our area, it seems to me as people are going through the steps as a process, but what's behind it all is I want to go through this to get well enough to get back out there in the world

and compete and be a part of the world. That's what this is really all about, isn't it?

The reason I'm going through these steps is so I can go out there and be a part of. And the answer is yes, but no. Read the 12th step. It says you only went through the 1st 11 for one reason, so that now you are capable of carrying this message, having had the spiritual awakening to another alcoholic. And then practice these principles at all your affairs. And this is again, back to the primary purpose,

as you were talking about with Tom I, somewhere along the line in our fellowship, we've lost the focus on helping another alcoholic. You know, we're helping our sister-in-law, we're helping the people at church, We're helping everybody but an alcoholic, you know, and it goes back to my story I shared about my my friend Chris who killed himself. Big Brothers, great deal. Help those little kids. And I'm sure they were very grateful.

But the 12 steps were designed to make sure we understood one thing. God only got you better

for one reason, so you are now able to help another one of your own kind,

you know, and I really think that's important. And I really emphasize that because the guys I sponsor, you know, I don't know if you've heard this before, they'll come up with, oh, well, you know, I'm not the sponsor and type, Tim, that's your thing. You're good at it. What do you mean I'm good at it? Sponsorship is simply about carrying what's been given to me to the next guy. Anybody should be and can be able to do that.

But what I'm saying

in the words, and that's the whole idea, If I don't see that my responsibility now is to sponsor other people the way I've been sponsored. To carry the same step process to the next guy. The same way it was given to me that I'm breaking the chain that was started over 70 years ago that these two guys, Bill and Bob

started. You know, and I just say this because around our area, what's happening, because it has become a process, because these guys are going through these treatment centers and being taught this process of recovery dynamics. When they come out of it, their idea is now I'm ready. I'm going back in the world. I'm going to get a job, get a girlfriend, you know, and be somebody.

I'm saying, wait a minute, wait a minute. What about helping the next guy?

You know, that is it. That's the end all and be all right. I go back to my Hospice story, you know, and in my sponsor who hurt my feelings. But what he was trying to say is Tim, you know, helping cancer patients is good, but you are drunk and in the cold that they gave you this formula that you just went all the way through. It culminates. What seals the deal, you know is the 12 step.

It seals the deal. Let me tell you. Here's what I know about the 12 step. You know, if you really

practice the 12 step, you work with a lot of guys, you sponsor a lot of guys, it's going to work whether you like it or not. All right, and here's how this works for me. I mean, I sponsor, I don't know, 3035 guys probably, you know, probably more than that. Call me as their sponsor.

I have this. We talked about this disorder with the ego. They talk about my feelings, thoughts and beliefs. In some days, I just have a bad day.

Some days, you know, things didn't go well for little Timmy. And some days I just want to go home, get away from everybody and just sit there and think about it a little bit. I mean, I deserve that, right? I deserve how the thing didn't go right, the sale didn't go right today, people, my work didn't act right to day and I will go home and I'm determined to do that. But you know what happens? Phone rings

this idiot that I sponsors on the other end of the phone

and he's saying, Tim, she's going to leave me.

And I have to stop thinking about what I'm thinking about me. And I got to listen to this guy and I have got to give him

the response that they gave me when I was calling doing the same thing. And you know what happens when I hang up the phone? I have forgotten what it was that was so upsetting to me. I can't tell you how much on a daily basis,

you know, that happens. And you see people got this all wrong. I mean, I said this the other day when people asked me how many people do you sponsor? I say, well, evidently just the right number because I am sober and I've got a good life, see, because the deal is I don't know what the number is. Here's what I do know is, is that my disorder of the eagle, my, my manifestation itself is so great

that without constant investment in other people's lives and taking my time to put into your life,

I don't have much of a chance. And you see, that's why I love the old timers. That's all those old guys knew, man, that's all they knew. They didn't know anything about all this. We've talked about this weekend in many ways, but they knew this. If they invested their energy and time and another alcoholic, they somehow stayed sober and their lives got better, you know, and I'd say that because all of these years, you know, we've gotten so sophisticated, it always circles back to the to the basics. And we talk again about a guy like Tom Hanks or 50,

two years sober, and he probably sponsors 50 guys, and he probably does 40 weekends a year carrying the message of Alcoholics Anonymous, you know, and the man is serene and sober. And what I have to assume is, is that he doesn't do that because he just wants to be a good guy. He does that because they said, here's the end of this process that we just brought you through. This is what seals the deal. This is what will keep you in the loop of Alcoholics Anonymous,

You know, and I really say that because, you know, I really work with the guys. I'm only working with you for one reason, so we can get you through these steps. So then you will then be willing and able and capable to carry this message to the next guy. And you know what, that's the bottom line. You know, I've been around here long enough and you listen to a lot of different people. I'm sure you guys listen to a lot of different people. And I, I remember around Louisville, the first time I would listen to guys that I, I thought were,

you know, had it going on,

you know, and they had a lot of sobriety, but they were different in words. Their styles were a little bit different, but there was always one common element. And the common element was this. They all worked with a lot of other Alcoholics, you know, and I just say that because here's what's happened a lot today too, is that, you know, we're skipping right over that first part of the 12 steps to the second part. I'm supposed to practice the principles in all my affairs. And, you know, my focus immediately becomes my home, my work. And

that's important, no doubt about it. But what about the first part of the 12th step? It's the first part for a reason,

OK? And and I say that because here's the thing. When I came into the program and I talked a lot of you this week, I mean, my butt was on fire, owed people money. It was lawyers after me. There was, you know, legal people after me. I mean, it was just a mess and and I couldn't keep a focus. And I would go to these guys and I would say, all right, Blair, listen, you know, I got the oldest core of $1,000,000. These people are calling me and and then you'd give me some type of answer. Well, OK, Tim, why don't you,

once you stay after the meeting, see and see that guy over there, Won't you give him a ride home? And I'd be thinking, did you hear what I said, Blair?

And then I go, let let me tell you about this insane woman who's a divorcing me. I mean, this is awful. I'm living in a basement. She's got my house. She took it. I can't even get back in there

going nuts. I'm full of stressful. What do you think? You know, Mark and Tim, you know, why don't you stay afterwards and pick up those chairs over there and, and when you're done with that, you know, give this guy a ride home. And I and I've always think, did you hear what I said? I mean, I was constantly getting these answers that made no sense. All right, but they make all the sense in the world. What they were saying is, Tim, we can't do a thing about that crazy marriage of yours and we can't get 1/4 of $1,000,000 for you. But what it says

is you work with the next alcoholic, it'll all workout sooner or later. You see, you know, and I hate, you know, when people come to me and this happens this weekend. I've already talked a number of you who got those situations going with your marriage or whatnot. And you cut Tim what you got to do. And I said, well, go back to your Home group and find a drunk to work with.

I wish I could give you something better, but that is the answer. That will always be the answer, you know, for guys like you and me, you know. And then the deal was they said if you, if you will do that. And we'll promise you the second part of the 12 step, carrying the principles, you know, in all your affairs

overtime, if you're willing to continue to share with other Alcoholics, you will find out, You will figure out how to do that. Probably, however, you're going to fall on your nose, you know, three or four times in all those areas of your life before you ever really grow up and learn how to do it.

You know, we were talking the other day and you guys are pretty mature in terms of your sobriety with exception of a few. But you know,

I didn't say that right, did I? I really, I really meant we got some long-term sobriety in here. But the point is, is that

if we were really honest with people when they showed up, you know, we we can't tell them this, right? We can't tell them that, look, the real deal here is, is that, you know, you got to get sober and you probably have to change everything about you.

You know, that's really the truth. Now, we're not going to tell you that when you show up because you're probably a leafy, but we just tell you when you show up, just don't drink. But the truth is, if you showed up like I did, you have no skills for living. You have no tools. You're going to have to learn to be a man. You're going to have to learn to be a husband. You're going to have to learn how to be a friend. You're going to have to learn how to be an employee. You know, 'cause I didn't know how to do any of that. I can say that 42 years old when I showed up here and over the last 19 half years,

by coming back to you guys and talking about relationships and talking about, you know, work, I've learned a little bit more about how a sober man does life. You know, that's the simple message that I need to tell you that's as good as it's been for me. In the meantime, over the last 19 1/2 years, what's the bottom line? I've helped drunks. You know, that was the one thing, despite all the travesty that you heard over 19 1/2 years, the divorces, the sanity with the airport,

all the things that I'm not so proud of. The one constant was I never quit working with Alcoholics.

And you see that is always going to be the bottom line, you know, and that's the most simplest thing. And yet it's the thing that if you listen to Tom Ivester and people who've been around for a long time, it's the least emphasized part of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous anymore. You know, at that part of it somehow has gotten taken out of the equation and somehow we we've assumed that that whole 12 step process

is somebody else's responsibility. It's taking place in the treatment center, it's taking place in the hospital.

We just got to hold these guys hands. And there's nothing farther from the truth, you know. So if there's any message, you know, that you guys can leave here with this weekend, you know, is that we are members of Alcoholics Anonymous, which means we help Alcoholics, you know, and I really, you know, you can go home and

get involved, your church in the Little League and all that good stuff. And I think that's all good, you know, and it's all good for me. But I can only do that because of my sobriety. And my sobriety hinges on this whole idea of carrying a message to another alcoholic. The other thing I think is key about that, you know what it says

is that we carry the message. You know, it doesn't say we deliver the message, it doesn't say we teach the message and it doesn't say we preach the message

and down mount right way. We got all that going on, right? It says we carry the message, which is I carry is I've tried to hope to do this weekend, meaning when I realize when I show up to a place like this, I don't have anything new to give you guys, right? I mean, over some of you been here 20 years, you've heard from some of the, you know, my Heroes and Alcoholics Anonymous,

most of you have done the big book. A lot of you, almost all of you have done the steps. You know, there's nothing new there. All that can ever bring is my own, you know, experience, strength and hope. I can only carry the message as it's evolved in my life.

You know, and that's all I'll ever be able to do. And I say that because we have a lot of other stuff going on. We got a lot of people today who have gotten into teaching the message, who've got into preaching the message down in, in my Home group, we get a lot of preaching going on down there. And, and, and I need to, to, to remember it is attraction, not promotion.

You know, it always will be attraction, not promotion. Again, when I go back to my work thing, I never told anybody that I was in the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. But they all knew something was different. They all knew that the boss wasn't as crazy as they used to be. And they all knew that, as my son said to me that one time that he, I was helping other people. That's all he knew. But that was enough. OK, That was enough to change his perception of me. And it was enough when he needed help

to know that were to come to, you know, and that isn't that the bottom line? You know, we were all talking about kids last night and where your kids are.

And you know, what I found out with my daughter is that, you know, I could no more affect her, change her because I was her daddy than the next guy. But the deal was she had lived with me when I got sober and she knew that, you know, I was different. And the attraction of what was going on in my life when she her time came, her time came then that seed had been planted that she knew where to go, you know, And when she talks today and Alcoholics Anonymous, I go out for her birthday

and I cry every time, every time she gets up because she always says, you know, in all honesty, if my daddy had not been sober, you know, I would not be here tonight and I would probably be dead, you know, and I just, you know, it's just. And whether that's true or not, I don't know. But but the message was, is that what she's saying is the attraction of my dad getting sober was there. And when her moment of crisis came, there was some seed had been planted, you know, and that's what I'm saying. You've heard this many times, you know, you

never know. You know, what's your sobriety and who's affecting. And you may be the only big book that people, some people ever see,

you know, And I really take that seriously, you know, because when we're talking about this in all of my affairs, you know, I work at that hard. Because when I when I come to realize whether I like it or not, or whether any of us like it or not, we become the model of what this program is supposed to be about. You know,

I mean, it would have been awful for me, for example, when I was charging that, you know, the gate at the airport

to have somebody say, hey, isn't that guy an AA?

You know, because unfortunately what happens is, is that, you know, people overtime, you know, know, and we know the damage is done when people, you know, act out. You know, we know what happened on anonymity is broken, you know, with these stars and whatnot.

And so it's a responsibility that we carry, you know, in in my actions every day. And, you know, and one of the things, for example, the guideline that my sponsor gave for me on this, practicing the principles and all my affairs when I'm trying to make a decision about, you know, these principles and, and how something would look,

he always says, Tim, well, think about it this way. You know what you're thinking about doing. Would you be OK with that? If it's on the front page of the newspaper tomorrow morning?

If you're OK with that, then go ahead. It'd hard be all right. If you're not OK with that, then you might want to look at your action, your rib out ready to take and think about that. You know, and obviously there's many, many things obviously I would not be willing to do to have on the front page of the newspaper the next morning. And it's a guiding thing of, of me continually trying to understand that,

you know, the responsibility now, being a sober person, you know, I, I'll just say this. And because my sponsor, when I got here, you know, I was kind of rough as a cob. And, and, you know, I've gotten used to using real bad coarse language, you know, with this street stuff and grew up with it in the locker rooms and stuff like that. And I noticed immediately that this guy, my sponsor, I mean, he did not do that at all. You know, he might say shoot one once in a while or something like that, or heck, or,

and but man, you know, and I talked to him about it one day and you know, it's real important to him. He said is that, you know, when he, he wanted to clean up his life, then he thought, you know, clean up his language might be something to do that. Because again, in modeling, you know, what recovery is supposed to be in modeling with Alcoholics Anonymous is, is that, you know, he really worked on doing and, and I've tried to do that in my life and I, I, I'm by no means perfect at it. Again, left to default position. You know, I go back to all that I know when it goes back to the same language

that I grew up with. But my point is, is that, you know, the responsibilities as we, as we go forward with recovery

are there, you know, and, and I'm, I'm OK with that, you know, because if, if it is all about attraction, then what is it? It's attractive about how I'm living, you know, if people in fact are attracted by watching what I do and what I say and how I handle myself. He goes back to the consultant thing. I don't like that I'm coming across in an adverse way to these employees, you know, and I need to look at that. I don't have to. I could basically say, you know, hey, tough, I'm the boss.

I'll act the way I want to act and they have to suck it up. That's the deal, you know, But it is important. I don't as a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, 'cause they know I'm in recovery. They don't know what it's all about, but they know that, you know, I'm a recovering alcoholic and I participate in Alcoholics Anonymous. So I really try to to work on that because if it is about attraction, I want that attraction to be something that's attractive

and follow what I'm saying. And you know, it's not all about being a goody 2 shoes. I think it's all about, you know, understanding that this is about conversion.

It is about transforming from one way of ugly life to something new. And I'm always open, you know, and that's back to what these types of things have been for me. I have only learned what I know to Live Today but from other men and Alcoholics Anonymous from the time Ivesters from the guide sponsors me Don M You know how What does a man do in this situation?

You know, what does a sober person respond to

in crisis? You know, all that type of thing. You know, it's just, it excites me because the good news is I'm 61, but I'm still a kid. I'm still growing up. I still get to learn, you know, every day that I show up here if I'm open minded and, and, and willing to find out, you know? And see, that's the neat part about you guys,

you know, and the thing that makes this worthwhile for me, in all honesty, I'll be honest with you. I can't help but thinking why these guys want to listen to me all this time, You know? I wouldn't, you know,

but you're so attentive and you're so willing to find something new, you know? Now, whether I have it or or don't is not the question. The question is you're showing up. You're seekers, you're continuing to seek the higher ground, the higher level. And I don't know if you'll find anything this week or not, but see what's happening to me over the time I got out of my Home group finally, and I started going to things like this.

I started taking risks to get out of my comfort zone and talk to people in another meetings and go to places. Five years into my sobriety, guys, what is amazing to me today, I'm in Vancouver. Two weeks ago I was in Ottawa. I went to Maui, Hawaii this year to speak, right? And you have to understand, five years of my sobriety, I had not been out of my Home group, didn't want to get out of my Home group, didn't need to get out of my Home group, didn't want to get any farther than that.

I'm telling you the truth. And I had a cousin that's sober in Saint Louis, and she called, invited me to a sober vacation. Of course, I was single as usual by that time,

and she invited me to a sober vacation in Cancun, Mexico. I'm going. No, no way, he said. Tim, just do it. So somehow I gave in and this is honest God's true story. And I had a fly drive to Indianapolis to fly from Indianapolis to Cancun, Mexico.

I got halfway to Indianapolis. It was snowing. I turned around, came back home, called on the phone and said I'm not coming. She said, Tim, you've already paid for it. I said, it's OK, I'm still not coming. So she said, oh, come on. So I finally get my car, Golden, Indianapolis, and I fly all way to Cancun. Get to Cancun, find out, you know, I get there in the middle of the night. Find out there's 600 people there, sober Alcoholics, most of them from New York and California.

No way.

I mean, I am a lost ball. I spent the first two days there hiding in my cabin, right? I wouldn't come out because obviously I don't belong and I don't want to belong to these guys. Finally, to God, Grace, you know, I got tired of staying in my room. I creeped out. One afternoon they had a men's meeting on the beach.

Now get into this circle and sure enough, I look at the badges, California, California, New York City and man. So finally I choked it up and said, guys, you know, I don't even know why I'm here. I'm from Kentucky of all places, and my first time and

I don't know. And sure enough, two guys befriended me, you know, one from California, one from New York City. And here's what I'm saying. My world, all of a sudden, this little AA world that I was living in got opened up, you know, and that week changed my life because what I realized was, is that sobriety can be as big as you want it or it can be as small as you want it. You just have to say yes. You just have to say when they say, hey, will you go to the men's retreat this year? Yes,

I will be there. Not well, I don't know. Let me see what's going on when it gets close and if it works in I'll see if I can get there. Make a choice for your sobriety. Make a choice to increase it. Here's the thing, the international, I'd like to go. I just have to see what's going next July. Call and register and go. You see, I'm saying that because that was me. And as a result of that, I mean, like I said to pinch myself sometimes that I have been so many

places in my world has gotten so much bigger. Bobby's going.

It's gotten so much bigger. And I say that to you guys, you know, don't you know? And I know you're the type. It'll do it because you're here. You made a commitment to come here and you could have stayed home this weekend. Your seekers, you're trying to find that next level. And you see, that's what makes this exciting,

you know, as Wilson said, you know, there are 9095% of the people out there don't want it anymore. They're staying their Home group the rest of their life. That didn't work for me and it will never work for me any more because I know there's too much out here now. I know there's a bunch of hairy leg guys up in Vancouver that are really neat

and I want to make sure that I don't miss out on something like this. You know what? So I just say, yes, you know, from that point forward when they said, well, you go yes. Which brings me, you know, to this point about, you know, the balance in my calendar, for example. And people are asking me, well, how much do you do this? And you know, a long time ago I gave up trying to schedule my life, you know, and I got this from my sponsor, you know, I scheduled my life based on how God schedules it. And it pretty much if you looked at my calendar

work, you know, you here's what you would say. I might have a business meeting at 8:00. I might have a third step at 9. You know, I have lunch with a guy in a, a I have a business meeting, get one. I might have a fifth step at four. In the words, I was basically taught this. I just filled my schedule out. As it happens, whoever calls first goes on the schedule. That's not mine to do when they call me and say, you know, will you come to Vancouver? I look there, if it's open, yes,

You know, now assuming it's open, meaning with my family obligations and things like that,

that's not my business. I don't know what God wants me to do. I don't know who God wants me to help. You know, I have no idea. My job is to say yes and to suit up and to show up and to be present and let him design all that. And I tell you, as crazy as that may sound,

you know, I, I, since I was adopted, I've adopted that kind of way of living. I have more joy and more freedom in my life than I ever thought I could. And, you know,

I, I just want to wrap this thing up that, you know,

they're really today

more than anything else. It, it, it, it's just that willingness, you know, that I talked about the first little gift that God gave me an Alcoholics Anonymous with just a little crack of willingness one day

to maybe give this thing a chance to maybe listen to you guys that maybe you had something that, you know, that I couldn't understand at the time, but it had to be better than what I had, you know, And I continued to ask God, you know, that, that, that, that willingness as I go on,

you know, it's about 10-30 guys. And like I said, I, I love talking about Alcoholics Anonymous. You know, we could, you know, I love, I know Tom talked about the traditions. I'll just say this about the traditions. You know, I met a traditions meeting that I go to every Monday, every Sunday morning actually at this time. And

I hated it when I first started out because I thought it had nothing to do with recovery. And now I know that their traditions might be the greatest miracle in Alcoholics Anonymous because without the traditions, this thing would have never, ever lasted. We certainly would certainly would have imploded a long time ago. So if you're not about the traditions or you haven't spent much time on those, I also encourage you to to take a close look at those and, and what you will find. As I know Tom talked about it, there's so much in those traditions

that I've been able to adapt to my personal living, you know, like being self supportive through my own contributions, you know,

very important, very important, not only to our society as a whole, but to many individually and to people getting better, you know, being self supporting through their own contributions. But anyway, you know, I encourage you to do that. And, and like I said, I, I sincerely surely hope that, you know, our paths will cross again. I don't know how to say it other than, you know, I, I hope all somebody has gotten something this weekend. You know, I really do. I, I know this, that I will go back, you know, filled up again.

You know, I will hate the airline flight. I hate getting back 14 hours to get back home, but see the richness that I take back. You know, you just can't explain to people. You can't tell people what this is all about. You can't talk to people about the energy that you received from 100 guys in Canada over one given weekend. And you see, that's why I never want to forget to say yes. I never want to forget,

you know, that, you know,

there's as much here, you know, as I could ever, ever want. But it's up to me and it's up to you to this say yes. So I hope we will see a lot of you down in San Antonio. I hope to see some of you hear from some of you on the e-mail. And from the bottom of my heart, thanks so much. Again, I love each of you guys and thanks for putting up with me this weekend. Thanks.