Bill L. from Dunellen, NJ and Mike L. from West Orange, NJ reading Working with Others (pages 96 103) at a Big Book step workshop in West Orange, NJ
Hi
everyone,
my
name
is
Mike
and
I
am
an
alcoholic.
Hey,
Mike.
Good.
Good
to
be
back
here
this
week
and
good
to
see
some
faces
that
I
haven't
seen
in
a
couple
weeks.
For
the
past
three
plus
months
we
have
covered
the
1st
11
steps
as
outlined
in
the
big
book
Alcoholics
Anonymous.
This
evening
we
will
begin
our
12th
step,
which
is
actually
covered
in
11,
excuse
me,
5
chapters.
12
step
is
outlined
in
Chapter
7
through
11.
And
I
didn't
know
that
for
a
long
time.
I
thought
that
the
only
place
in
the
big
book
that
the
12th
step
was
described
was
in
Chapter
7,
because
that's
where
it
talks
about
making
a
12
step
call.
And
finally,
a
couple
years
ago
someone
pointed
out
to
me
what
I
used
to
non
affectionately
refer
to
as
those
chapters.
But
someone
pointed
out
to
me
and
got
it
through
my
thick
head
that
those
chapters
being
8910
and
11:00,
include
a
lot
of
the
principles
of
our
program
and
of
our
steps.
So
instead
of
referring
to
them
as
those
chapters
today,
I
refer
to
the
chapters
that
come
after
Chapter
7
as
the
practice
these
principles
chapter
because
I
believe
there's
a
lot
of
good
information
in
there.
And
whenever
I
do
something
like
this,
whether
it
be
in
my
home
or
in
a
environment
like
this
or
a
weekend
or,
or
or
what
have
you.
And
I'm
sure
if
Bill
was
here,
he
would
agree
that
we
also
try
to
cover
as
much
information
in
the
practice
of
principle
chapters
as
we
possibly
can.
Sometimes
because
a
lack
of
time,
it's
difficult,
but
we'll
try
to
do
a
pretty
good
job
with
that
over
the
next
couple
weeks.
The
packet
for
this
evening.
There's
8
pages.
First
page
is
a
really
good
article
on
old
fashioned
12
stepping.
Second
page
is
entitled
Tips
on
making
12
step
calls
and
the
first
article
actually
referenced
these
tips
so
the
two
the
2GO
hand
in
hand.
Page
3
is
the
12
steps
of
a
sponsor
which
I
would
like
to
actually
read
in
a
minute.
Next
page
is
the
12
rewards.
It
was
written
by
a
gentleman
who
was
in
prison.
So
and
lately
correction
work
and
institutional
work
has
has
been
on
my
heart.
So
that's
definitely
a
direction
that
that
I'm
getting
pulled
in.
And
the
last
2-4
pages
is
entitled
1944,
A
Sponsor
Sponsorship
Pamphlet,
and
it
was
written
by
Clarence
Snyder,
who
was
the
founder
of
A
A
in
Cleveland
and
who
was
about
the
40th
person
sponsored
by
Doctor
Bob
and
Bill.
And
I
love
Clarence
so
much
because
he's
probably
the
least
talked
about
character,
if
you
will,
in
Alcoholics
Anonymous,
probably
because
of
his
abrasiveness
and
his
uncanny
ability
that
just
call
it
like,
you
saw
it,
you
know,
but
he
pulled
no
punches.
And,
and
I
think
it
was
for
that
reason
and
a
couple
other
reasons
that
a
A
in
Cleveland
saw
a
93%
success
rate
in
the
early
days
of
Alcoholics
Anonymous,
while
other
areas
of
that
a
A
was
in
didn't
have
that
high
of
a
success
rate.
But
Clarence's
group
and
a
lot
of
other
groups
and
and
Cleveland
and
the
Akron
area
contributed
to
our
original
50
to
75%
success
rate,
which
we
talked
about
earlier
on
in
the
book,
12
steps
of
a
sponsor.
And
I
like
these.
One,
I
will
not
help
you
stay
and
wallow
in
limbo.
2,
I
will
help
you
grow
to
become
more
productive
by
your
own
definition.
Three,
I
will
help
you
to
become
more
autonomous,
more
loving
of
yourself,
more
free
to
continue
becoming
the
authority
of
your
own
living.
For
I
cannot
give
you
dreams
or
fix
you
up,
simply
because
I
cannot.
Five
I
cannot
give
you
growth
or
grow
for
you.
You
must
grow
for
yourself
by
facing
reality,
grim
as
it
may
seem
at
times.
Six,
I
cannot
take
away
your
loneliness
or
pain.
7
I
cannot
sense
your
world
for
you,
evaluate
your
goals,
or
tell
you
what
is
best
for
you
in
your
world.
You
have
your
own
world.
Eight,
I
cannot
convince
you
of
the
crucial
choice
of
choosing
the
scary
uncertainty
of
growing
over
the
safe
misery
of
not
growing.
Nine,
I
want
to
be
with
you
and
know
you
as
a
rich
and
growing
friend,
yet
I
cannot
get
close
to
you
when
you
choose
not
to
grow.
10
when
I
begin
to
care
for
you
out
of
pity,
when
I
begin
to
lose
trust
in
you,
then
I
am
toxic,
bad
and
inhibiting
for
you.
11
You
must
know
my
help
is
conditional.
I
will
be
with
you,
hang
in
there
with
you,
as
long
as
I
continue
to
get
even
the
slightest
hints
that
you
are
trying
to
grow.
And
12:00
If
you
cannot,
if
you
can,
if
you
can
accept
all
this,
then
perhaps
we
can
help
each
other
to
become
what
God
meant
for
us
mature
adults,
leaving
childness
forever
to
little
children.
And
I,
I
like
the
spirit
of
where
that
comes
from
because
a
lot
of
it
hooks
into
what
we're
going
to
read
over
this
evening.
It
particularly
speaks
to
page
96
that
warns
us,
you
know,
if
we
try
to
help
one
person
too
long,
we're
going
to
that
that
doesn't
want
to
be
helped.
We're
going
to
spoil
our
opportunity
to,
to
carry
a
beneficial
message
to
someone
else
who
really
wants
and
needs
to
help.
So
it
warns
us
not
to
not
to
waste
too
much
time
on
a
person
who
just
doesn't
want
the
message
that
Alcoholics
Anonymous
has
to
offer.
If
you
want
to
turn
the
page
89.
And
before
I
get
into
reading
for
this
evening,
the
12
step
says
having
had
a
spiritual
awakening.
And
in
the
way
the
step
was
originally
written,
it
said
having
had
a
spiritual
experience
as
the
result
of
these
steps.
We
tried
to
carry
this
message
to
Alcoholics
and
to
practice
these
principles
in
all
our
affairs.
So
we
like
to
take
a
look
at
the
12th
step
in
three
parts.
Having
had
a
spiritual
awakening,
carrying
this
message
and
practicing
these
principles
in
all
our
affairs.
So
this
chapter
does
not
speak
to
having
had
a
spiritual
awakening,
nor
does
it
speak
to
practicing
these
principles
in
all
our
affairs,
but
it
does
give
clear
cut,
precise
and
specific
directions
on
how
to
carry
this
message.
Now,
if
the
first
part
of
the
12
step
says
having
had
a
spiritual
awakening
as
the
result
of
these
steps,
that
means
all
the
work
that
we've
done
that
that
has
preceded
the
12th
step
and
this
7th
chapter
will
produce
a
revenue
revolutionary
spiritual
experience
or
a
spiritual
awakening.
Another
words.
The
first
nine
steps
have
changed
me,
and
as
the
result
of
that,
I've
had
a
spiritual
awakening
and
now
I'm
able
to
go
out
and
bring
that
message
to
my
fellow
brother
and
sister.
And
it's
real
simple.
The
question
often
comes
up
well,
how
do
I
know
when
I'm
ready
to
sponsor
someone?
How
do
I
know
when
I'm
ready
to
speak
or
how
do
I
know
when
I'm
ready
to
do
this
or
do
that?
And
Alcoholics
Anonymous
and
the
question
for
me
is
become,
I
know
when
I'm
ready
to
do
those
things
when
I've
had
the
spiritual
awakening
and
I've
had
the
spiritual
awakening
as
the
result
of
the
1st
11
steps.
And
it's,
it's
no
more.
It's
not
complicated.
It's
as
simple
as
that.
So
the
second
part
of
of
the
12
step
is
carrying
this
message
to
other
Alcoholics
and
we'll
start
on
page
89,
Chapter
7,
Working
with
others.
Practical
experience
shows
that
nothing
will
so
much
ensure
immunity
from
drinking
as
intensive
work
with
other
Alcoholics.
It
works
when
other
activities
fail.
This
is
our
12th
suggestion.
Carry
this
message
to
Other
Alcoholics.
The
group
that
meets
here
on
on
Thursday
evenings.
When
we
formed
the
group,
we
decided
to
name
it
Carry
This
Message.
Quite
often
you'll
hear
people
refer
to
Carry
the
Message.
I've
even
seen
some
groups
called
the
Carry
this
the
Carry
the
Message
group.
And
that's
not
what
it's
OK
to
call
it
that.
I
don't
care,
but
this
book
says
carry
this
message
for
the
simple
reason
that
they're
referring
to
this
message
in
the
book,
this
message
that
was
generated
to
us
through
the
pages
that
we've
just
gone
through
of
the
book
and
we'll
continue
to
go
through
up
until
164.
This
is
the
message
of
Alcoholics
Anonymous.
I'm
not
to
carry
my
message
in
an
A
a
meaning
because
quite
frankly,
for
a
long
time,
my
message
kept
me
drunk
and
my
my
message
may
may
cause
you
to
get
drunk.
So
I'm
very
clear
on
on
what
message
I'm
to
carry
in
in
a
a,
it
says
you
can
help
when
no
one
else
can.
And
man,
that
that's
a
great
promise
because
I
wasn't
being
helpful
to
anybody
when
I
got
here.
You
can
help
when
no
one
else
can.
I
mean,
what
an
incredible
promise.
You
can
secure
their
confidence
when
others
fail.
So
why
is
it
I
can
help
other
Alcoholics
when
no
one,
no
one
else
can?
Why
is
it
I
can
secure
their
confidence?
I
can
lift
them
up
When
other
people
can't
do
that,
how
can
I?
How
come
I
can
do
that?
How
come
you
guys
can
do
that?
Because
of
the
identification
factor,
it
told
us
early
on
in
the
book.
One
alcoholic
working
with
another
alcoholic,
sharing
experience,
strength
and
hope.
And
that's
the
common
bond
we
have.
Because
I
suffer
from,
because
we
all
suffer
from
the
same
illness,
we
can
be
uniquely
beneficial
to
each
other.
Psychiatrists
could
never
help
me.
My
father
could
never
help
me.
Non
Alcoholics.
They
could
help
me
with
other
areas
of
my
life,
but
quite
frankly,
I
was
never
willing
to
listen
to
him
anyway.
But
when
I
came
there,
hey,
Alcoholics
were
able
to
help
me
because
I
related,
I
identified
we
have
this,
we
had
the
same
common
problem.
And
I
was
able
to
see
that
they
took
certain
actions
that
brought
about
results
in
their
lives
and
relieved
them
of
their
alcoholism.
And
I
saw
that
and
I
said,
well,
if
that
can
work
for
them,
it
can
work
for
me.
But
as
long
as
a
person
who
was
different
from
me
was
telling
me
what
to
do,
I
could
never
get
it.
I
just
never
understood
it
and
anyway,
Alcoholics
Anonymous
never
told
me
what
to
do.
You
guys
shared
with
me
what
you
did
and
therefore
I
was
able
to
do
what
you
did
and
apply
to
my
life.
And
now
I
have
my
own
experience.
It
tells
us
to
remember
that
they
are
very
ill.
You
know,
when
I'm
working
with
a
newcomer,
I
got
to
remember
that
they
are
just
like
I
was
when
I
initially
came
into
the
rooms
of
Alcoholics
Anonymous.
So
I
got
to
put
myself
in
their
shoes.
And
it's
going
to
tell
me
that
later
on.
So
remember,
they
are
very
ill,
and
this
is
a
great
set
of
promises.
Life
will
take
on
a
new
meaning.
To
watch
people
recover,
to
see
them
help
others,
to
watch
loneliness
vanish,
to
see
a
fellowship
grow
up
about
you,
to
have
a
host
of
friends.
This
is
an
experience
you
must
not
miss.
We
know
you
will
not
want
to
miss
it.
Frequent
contact
with
newcomers
and
with
each
other
is
the
bright
spot
of
our
lives.
Goes
on
to
say
perhaps
you
are
not
acquainted
with
any
drinkers
who
want
to
recover
and
I
don't
know
if
that
necessarily
applies
today
unless
you're
on
the
Greenland
ice
cap
or
something.
But
since
you
can
easily
find
some
by
asking
a
few
doctors,
minister,
priests
or
hospitals.
And
when
this
book
was
written
in
the
in
or
published
rather
in
1939,
they
had
to
put
these
things
in
here
because
there
really
was
there,
there
wasn't
an
established
fellowship.
So
we
had
to
go
out
and
search
out
other
drunks
who
wanted
to
recover.
And
in
many
cases,
if
if
you
read
some
of
the
history
literature,
the
early
pioneers
of
a
A
searched
out
some
drunks
that
didn't
want
to
recover
and
had
absolutely
no
interest
in
quitting
drinking
and
did
stuff
like
pulling
them
off
of
bar
stools
and
and
crazy
stuff
like
that.
So
we
don't.
We
don't
necessarily.
We
can
usually
find
enough
Alcoholics
to
work
with
right
in
our
very
own
fellowship.
But
guess
what?
There
is
a
still
need.
There
still
is
a
need
to
go
to
these
doctors,
ministers,
priests
or
hospitals
for
the
simple
reason
that
Alcoholics
Anonymous
has
something
called
committees.
And
anyone
who's
familiar
with
General
Services
knows
about
the
the
public
information
committee,
the
correctional
institution
committee,
the
treatment
facilities
committee,
and
on
and
on
and
on.
And
this
is
where
we
communicate
with
the
doctors,
the
ministers,
the
priests
and
hospitals.
And
pretty
much
today
the
extent
that
the
extent
of
communication
that
that
we
have
with
with
these
individuals
is
more
of
an
informative
type
pitch
that
we
are
Alcoholics
Anonymous.
If
members
of
your
clergy
or
your
patients
or
what
have
you
have
a
drinking
problem
and
then
and
they
would
like
to
get
help,
then
we're
Alcoholics
Anonymous.
We're
here
to
help
and
and
quite
often
a
lot
of
good
12
step
calls
come
through
these
contacts.
It
says
these
doctors,
ministers,
priests
or
hospitals
will
be
only
too
glad
to
assist
you.
Here's
a
nice
warning
and
all
throughout
this
chapter,
and
I
guess
to
give
you
a
little
sneak
peek
of
next
week.
Next
week
we'll
have
a
handout
in
title
12
step
tips
and
what
Bill
and
I
did
fall
of
last
year.
We
literally
went
back
through
the
beginning
of
the
book
all
the
way
to
164
and
we
pulled
out.
We
exerted
all
the
references,
any
statement
or
paragraph
that
we
felt
was
a
12
step
tip
towards
sponsorship
or
making
12
step
calls
or
anything
that
promote
it,
helping
an
alcoholic.
And
I
tell
you
that
suckers.
20
pages
long,
10
pages
front
and
back.
It's
incredible
how
many
references.
I
think
we
came
up
with
over
300
and
I'm
sure
there's
more
in
there.
So
this
year
and
and,
and
we'll
have
that
next
week.
So
this
statement
here
don't
start
out
as
an
evangelist
or
a
reformer.
That's
one
of
the
tips.
So
as
I
go
through
this
chapter,
I'm
going
to
focus
on
some
of
the
twips.
The
The
twips
twits
tips
on
making
a
12
step
call
or
helping
other
alcohol,
it
says.
Unfortunately,
a
lot
of
prejudice
exists
and
that's
true.
You
will
be
handicapped
if
you
arouse
prejudice.
Ministers
and
doctors
are
competent
and
you
can
learn
much
from
them
if
you
wish.
But
it
happens
that
because
of
your
own
drinking
experience,
you
can
be
uniquely
useful
to
other
Alcoholics,
as
I
said
before.
So
cooperate,
never
criticize
to
be
helpful
as
our
only
only
aim.
Again,
that's
another
guide,
another
12
step
tip.
Top
of
page
90
When
you
discover
a
prospect
for
Alcoholics
Anonymous,
find
out
all
you
can
about
him.
If
he
does
not
want
to
stop
drinking,
don't
waste
your
time
trying
to
persuade
him
or
her.
You
may
spoil
a
later
opportunity.
So
a
young
lady
or
a
gentleman
walks
into
one
of
our
meetings
and
they're
here
just
checking
out
the
scenery.
They
reek
of
alcohol
and
we
speak
to
the
person
and
they
tell
us
that
you
know
the
the
court
systems
on
my
back
or
wifey
poos
on
my
back
and
the
family
and
on
and
on
and
on.
But
I
really
don't
think
I
have
a
problem.
And
quite
honestly,
I
don't
want
to
quit
drinking.
Well,
you're
welcome
to
come
to
our
fellowship,
but
until
you
want
to
quit
drinking,
there's
we're
not
really
going
to
be
of
any
use
to
you.
So
that's
what
this
speaks
to
you.
That's
what
this
speaks
to.
Don't
waste
your
time
in
trying
to
persuade
a
person
that
that
doesn't
want
to
quit
drinking.
I
did
that
in
in
my
early
years
of
12
stepping
and
it
says
you
may
spoil
a
later
opportunity.
You
know,
with
my
so-called
evangelical
enthusiasm,
I'm
sure
I
scared
off
a
lot
of
people,
you
know,
and
hopefully
they're
they're
able
to
go
to
other
people
that
that
got
the
help.
And
I
also
like
to
think
that
I
have
tamed
down
somewhat
since.
So
this
advice
is
given
for
his
family.
Also,
they
should
be
patient,
realizing
they
are
dealing
with
a
sick
person.
If
there
is
any
indication
that
he
wants
to
stop,
have
a
good
talk
with
the
person
most
interested
in
him,
usually
his
wife.
Get
an
idea
of
his
behavior,
problems,
background,
the
seriousness
of
his
condition,
and
his
religious
leanings.
You
need
this
information
to
put
yourself
in
his
place
to
see
how
you
would
like
him
to
approach
you
if
the
tables
were
turned.
So
the
same
guy
comes
back
in
six
months.
This
time
his
problems
aren't
because
of
wifey
poo.
His
problems
aren't
because
of
the
courts.
His
problems
aren't
because
of
this,
this,
or
that.
He's
licked
from
booze.
He's
ready.
He's
in
a
state
of
surrender
now.
We
got
something
to
talk
about.
Now
I'm
able
to
carry
a
beneficial
message
to
this
person
and
this
is
what
I
can
do.
I
can,
I
can
get
an,
I
can
get
some
information
on
his
background,
you
know,
I
can
tell
him
my
story
and
it's
going
to
tell
us
that
in
a,
in
a
couple
minutes,
I
can
get
an
idea
of
the
seriousness
of
his
condition.
You
know,
is
this
guy
a
periodic?
Is
he
the
type
alcoholic
that
that'll
go
on
a
binge
for
a
week
or
so
and
then
he's
able
to
stay
home
and
drive
for
a
couple
months?
Or
is
this
guy
just,
he's
always
drinking,
he
can't
stop
drinking,
his
physical
allergy
for
alcohol
and
his
mental
obsession
is
that
strong
where
he
just,
he
stays
in
the
grips
of,
of,
of
alcohol
and
alcoholism.
You
know,
and
we
like
to
get
this
information
to
kind
of
gauge
how
we're
going
to
work
with
this
person.
The
way
I
work
with
people
today
is
a
lot
different
than
the
way
I
used
to.
I
used
to,
I
used
to
put
myself
in
a
little
box
and
everyone
I
worked
with
would
have
to
fit
in
that
box.
And
if
you
didn't
respond
to
what
I
had
to
offer,
then
maybe
you
should
go
see
someone
else.
And
I
simply
don't
think
that
way
today
because
of
the
experiences
I've
had.
I
think
everybody's
different
and
me
personally,
I
need
to
be
flexible
enough
to
be
able
to
be
just
as
effective
with
the
New
York
Stock
broker
or
the
Valerie
Bunk.
It
doesn't
matter
where
we
come
from,
the
illness,
the
disease
is
all
the
same.
And
I
just
go
with
my
intuition
today
as
far
as
how
do
I
need
to
pursue
with
someone?
Do
I
need
to
take
them
through
the
first
nine
steps?
Like
real
quick,
Bill
and
I
have
been
known
to
take
people
through
the
first
eight
steps
in
a
matter
of
just
the
weekend.
I've
also
taken
people
through
the
1st
8
steps
in
a
couple
or
few
months
and
I
gauge
that
by
intuition
and
over
the
days
and
the
weeks
I'm
able
to
get
a
feel
for
where
they're
at
and
what
they
need.
How
dare
I
cram
something
down
their
throat
that
they
just
don't
need,
You
know?
Why
am
I
going
to
take
someone
through
the
process
quickly
that
maybe
needs
to
go
through
a
little
bit
more
slow?
Or
how
about
the
guy
that
just
can't
stop
drinking,
literally
gets
3
days
removed
from
alcohol
and
and
goes
back
out
and
drinks?
What
about
that
person?
Can
I
be
effective
for
him
too?
Can
I?
Do
I
have
the
ability
and
the
experience
to
take
this
person
through
the
steps
quickly
so
he,
he
or
she
can
get
their
spiritual
experience
and
then
don't
have
to
go
back
to
drinking
anymore?
You
know,
everyone
not.
I
surely
wasn't
able
to
have
that
type
of
flexibility
up
until
a
couple
years
ago
just
simply
because
I
didn't
have
a
lot
of
experience
with
12
stepping.
So
it
comes
with
time.
For
me,
in
the
beginning,
it
was
necessary
to
have
that
little
box.
So
I
don't
know
if
it
was
necessary,
but
that's
what
I
did
and
that's
that.
That's
what
worked
and
and
that's
what
got
me
to
where
I
am
today.
Lately
I've
also
been
saying
that
it
was
necessary
for
me.
And
I
feel
that
anyone
who
who
does
the
work
that
that
this
work
group
does
out
of
the
big
book.
I
think
it's
necessary
and,
and
very
humorous
that
we
all
go
through
what
I
like
to
call
an
evangelical
period
where
you're
just
up
on
your
soapbox
and
you're
preaching
the
big
Book
and
you're
trying
to
jam
the
big
book
in
the
places
where
it's
not
meant
to
be
put.
And
you
know,
that's
not
for
everybody.
And
that's
not
even
for
me
today.
But
I
had
to
go
through
that
for,
for
a
period
of
time
to
realize
that
I
just
didn't
have
to
be
that
way.
And
the
edges
got
got
smoothed
over
after
a
while.
But
man,
when,
when
I
got
struck
with
this
message,
when
the
Spirit
of
God
came
into
my
life
and
and
I
realized
that
my
purpose
on
this
planet
was
to
be
useful
and
productive
to
other
people,
especially
Alcoholics,
there's
no
way
I
couldn't
be
enthusiastic
about
that.
So
as
Bill
would
often
say,
I
really
went
off
there.
OK,
so
you
need
this
information
to
put
yourself
in
this
place
to
see
how
you
would
like
him
to
approach
you
if
the
tables
were
turned.
Sometimes
it's
wise
to
wait
until
he
goes
on
a
binge.
The
family
may
object
to
this,
but
unless
he
is
in
a
serious
physical
condition,
it
is
better
to
risk
it.
Don't
deal
with
him
when
he
is
very
drunk,
unless
he
is
ugly
and
the
family
needs
your
help.
Wait
for
the
end
of
a
spree,
or
at
least
a
lucid
interval.
Then
let
his
family
or
a
friend
ask
him
if
he
wants
to
quit
drinking
for
one
day
at
a
time.
Just
don't
drink
today.
Oh,
you
just
don't
have
to
drink
hour
by
hour.
Well,
that
may
be
some
advice
that
that
we
hear
in
our
rooms,
but
what
this
sentence
says
is
if
he
wants
to
quit
drinking
for
good.
And
if
we
cross
reference
that
with
Doctor
Bob
Story,
Doctor
Bob
would
ask
his
prospects,
Do
you
want
to
give
up
liquor
for
good
and
for
all?
See,
I
got
this
confused
a
long
time.
I
thought.
I
thought
when
it,
what
the
book
says
is
that
we
live
life
one
day
at
a
time.
And
as
the
result,
a
living
life
one
day
at
a
time,
practicing
these
principles,
I
don't
ever
have
to
go
back
to
whiskey
again,
you
know,
And
of
course,
in
the
beginning
it's
necessary
to
take
a,
a
day
at
a
time,
to
take
it
an
hour
a
time,
because
I,
I,
I'd
never,
I'd
never
be
able
in
the
beginning,
I,
I
wasn't
able
to
quit
drinking
any
other
way.
I
mean,
I
was
literally
hanging
on
by
my
toenails,
but
this
book
says
that
the
prospect
wants
to
quit
drinking
for
good.
And
there's
a
second
condition
to
that.
And
we've
already
referred
to
this
in
the
book
several
times
if
he
would
go
to
any
extreme,
otherwise
known
as
any
length
to
do
so.
All
right,
so
the
third
tradition
applies.
I
gotta
have
a
desire
to
stop
drinking.
Or
as
the
third
tradition
was
originally
written,
an
honest
desire
to
to
stop
drinking.
But
there's
also
a
second
point
to
that.
I
got
to
be
willing
to
go
to
any
extreme
to
do
that,
and
nowadays
I
explain
to
people
what
any
extreme
or
what
any
lengths
looks
like,
and
I'll
explain
that
in
a
minute.
So
if
he
says
yes,
then
his
attention
should
be
drawn
to
you
as
a
person
who
has
recovered.
Ed.
There
we
go
with
that
recovered
word
again.
You
should
be
described
to
him
as
one
of
a
fellowship
who
as
part
of
their
own
recovery,
try
to
help
others
and
who
will
be
glad
to
talk
to
him
if
he
cares
to
see
you.
So
this
is
how
I
explain
to
people
what
any
links
looks
like.
An
example
person
comes
up
to
me
in
a
meeting
and
says,
Mike,
will
you
be
my
sponsor?
And
they've
probably
just
heard
me
talk
in
a
meeting
somewhere,
or
maybe
they
like
what
I
have,
so
to
speak.
But
a
lot
of
people
have
absolutely
no
idea
what
sponsorship
entails
if
we're
sponsoring
people
out
of
the
big
book.
So
I'll
explain
to
them
exactly
how
I
sponsor
someone
because
it
was
how
I
was
and
continued
to
be
sponsored.
And
it's
the
it's
the
way
the
1st
100
men
and
women
were
sponsored.
And
it's
the
way
this
book
directs
us
to
sponsor
other
people.
And
I
tell
them,
well,
let's
talk
about
that
because
I
may
not
have
what
you
want
and
I
may
not
have
what
you
need.
You
know,
I'm
not
the
type
of
person
that
quite
frankly,
I
don't
have
time
in
my
life
that
if
you
call
me
every
day
in
a
week,
two
times
a
day,
I'm
just
simply
not
going
to
be
reachable.
But
what
I
will
do
for
you
is
take
you
through
our
steps
out
of
this
book
so
that
you
too
can
have
a
spiritual
experience
and
then
you
can
go
help
others.
And
then
when
when
you're
in
a
depression
or
you're
in
self
pity
or
you're
caught
up
in
self
and
you're
just
not
feeling
too
good
about
yourself,
you
can
go
help
another
out
Alcoholic.
Yeah,
it's
important
to
talk
to
your
sponsor
about
these
things
if
you're
all
jammed
up
or
or
got
problems
in
your
life
or
what
have
you.
But
all
this
book
is
rooted
in
I
got
to
get
out
of
my
selfishness
and
self
centeredness
and
begin
to
live
life
unselfishly.
So
in
other
words,
I
got
to
get
out
of
myself
and
get
into
you,
and
that's
what
I
try
to
impress
upon
them
right
from
the
very
beginning.
Don't
get
me
wrong,
I
do.
I
don't
like
to
use
the
word
baby,
but
I
do
spend
more
time
with
a
brand
new
person
than
I
would
with
someone
who
has
been
through
this
process
and
who's
awakened
spiritually.
Because
the
brand
new
person
is
a
Walking
Dead
man
and
I
can't
get
or
keep
that
person
sober.
But
I
am
responsible
to
do
the
best
possible
12
step
job
than
I
possibly
can
because
that
person's
life
is
literally
in
my
hands
and
I'm
very,
very
cognizant
of
that
fact.
And
I
take
this
stuff
real
seriously.
So
I
tell
them
this,
I
give
him
a
little
exercise.
And
then
this
is
usually
for
a
person
that's
been
around
the
fellowship
for
a
while,
let's
say
five
years
and
is
suffering
from
untreated
alcoholism,
hasn't
had
a
drink
for
five
years,
but
it's
just
dying
of
the
spiritual
malady
that
we
talked
about
for
many
weeks.
And
this
person
I
I
term
as
a
person
who
has
a
little
more
grace
period
than
the
drunk
that
just
can't
quit
drinking.
So
I
give
them
an
exercise
to
do.
I
tell
him
to
read
the
Doctor's
Opinion
in
the
1st
164
pages.
Now,
most
people
probably
aren't
going
to
be
willing
to
do
that.
I
wasn't.
And
because
of
my
own
experiences,
I
know
why
people
don't
read
the
1st
164
pages
when
when
they
come
in.
And
this
doesn't
apply
to
everyone,
but
it
applied
to
me.
I
didn't
really
know
how
to
read
when
I
came
in.
I
could
read
but
I
couldn't
comprehend.
You
ever
read
a
sentence
and
and
get
to
the
next
one
and
had
no
clue
what
the
previous
sentence
said?
My
memory
just
wouldn't
retain
it.
So
I
really
don't
pressure
them
too
much
to
read
the
book
by
themselves
because
simply
a
lot
of
people
just
aren't
capable
of
doing
it.
There
is
the
rare
person
that
they
take
like
a
fish
to
water
and
and
they
devour
this
book.
But
that
wasn't
my
experience.
So
I
don't
harp
on
that
too
much
and
I
sit
down
with
them
and
sort
of
hand
carry
them
through
the
book
and
like
that.
But
I
will
have
a
person
who's
been
around
for
a
while
turn
the
page
59
and
read
our
12
steps
and
I'll
have
them
answer
2
questions
one
at
a
time
after
reading
each
step.
The
two
questions
are,
excuse
me,
is
this
the
work
you
want
to
do?
And
the
second
question
is,
are
you
going,
are
you
willing
to
go
to
any
lengths
to
do
this?
So
it
looks
like
I
turned
the
59
and
I
read
step
one.
We
admit
it,
we're
powerless
over
alcohol.
Dash
that
our
lives
had
become
unmanageable.
And
if
I'm
the
person
doing
this
exercise,
I
ask
myself,
is
this
what
I
want
to
do?
Do
I
want
to
admit,
admit
meaning
to
let
in,
let
in
truth
that
I
am
powerless
over
alcohol
and
dash
that
my
life
has
become
unmanageable?
Do
I
want
to
do
that?
Do
I
want
to
make
that
admission
of
personal
powerlessness
and
unmanageability
Question
two,
Am
I
going?
Am
I
willing
to
go
to
any
lengths
to
do
this
step?
And
I
explained
to
the
person
what
any
lengths
looks
like
because
for
a
long
time
I
heard
in
the
fellowship,
well,
you
got
to
be
willing
to
go
to
any
legs,
got
to
be
willing.
If
your
sponsor
tells
you
to
go
in
a
corner
and
stand
on
your
head
in
your
underwear,
that's
any
lengths.
That's
not
any
lengths.
That's
ridiculous.
It's
not
any
lengths
according
to
this
book.
According
to
this
book,
any
lengths
is
to
follow
the
directions
in
this
book
to
take
these
steps,
to
get
the
effect
produced
by
taking
these
steps,
which
is
a
spiritual
awakening.
That's
the
any
legs.
So
I
described
to
them
what
any
lengths
looks
like.
Let's
take
step
four.
Made
a
searching
and
fearless
moral
inventory
of
ourselves.
Is
this
what
I
want
to
do?
Do
I
want
to
take
this
step?
Yes.
Well,
am
I
willing
to
go
to
any
lengths
to
take
this
step?
Well,
I
don't
know.
What
does
it
mean
to
make
a
searching
and
fearless
moral
inventory?
How
do
I
do
that?
Well,
I
tell
them
we're
going
to
use
this
second-half
of
Chapter
5.
How
it
works
We're
going
to
write
3
inventories.
An
inventory,
a
four
column
inventory
on
resentments.
We're
going
to
write
an
inventory
on
fears.
We're
going
to
write
an
inventory
on
sex
and
other
harms
done
to
others.
We're
also
going
to
write
a
sex
ideal
for
a
future
sex
life
and
I
explained
to
him
a
little
bit
about
the
four
step
process.
Not
too
much
because
they're
probably
not
going
to
get
it,
but
just
enough
to
not
soft
sell
it.
Because
what's
his
sense
of
soft
selling
a
force
that
I'm
just
cheating
the
person
that
I'm
working
with.
So
I
let
him
know
that,
hey,
this
could
be
a
difficult
deal.
There's
going
to
be
a
lot
of
work
on
your
part
involved
in
this.
And
I
let
him
know
what
that
looks
like.
And
I
let
them
know
that
I
will
absolutely,
without
a
shadow
of
a
doubt,
help
them
to
the
best
of
my
ability.
I
will
help
them.
And
if
I
can't
help
them
with
a
particular
item
in
their
inventory,
by
God
we'll
find
someone
that
can.
Night
step.
I
don't
soft
sell
the
night
step
got
to
make
the
events.
I
was
talking
to
one
guy
one
time
and
he's
like,
well,
I
really
didn't
hurt
anybody.
I
really
don't
have
any
immense.
And
I
said,
well
said
to
myself,
I
know
that's
a
lie.
In
the
section
on
amends
9th
step,
it
says
most
Alcoholics
owe
money
and
Bill
and
I
like
to
rewrite
the
big
book,
so
we
say
all
Alcoholics
owe
money.
I
know
I
surely
did
when
I
came
in.
And
I
had
a
pretty
good
feeling
that
this
gentleman
had
some
money
to
pay
back.
So
I
said,
do
you
owe
any
money
to
the
IRS?
And
he
said,
well,
yeah,
but
that,
you
know,
I
said,
do
you
have
any
other
debts?
Well,
yeah,
but
that's
seven
years
and
bankruptcy
and
statute
of
limitations.
And
I
said,
and
then
ask
you
all
that
I
said,
do
you
owe
money?
Alcoholics
hate
to
give
a
yes
or
no
answer.
It's
like
the
hardest
thing
to
do,
to
quit
and
drinking.
Do
you
owe
money?
Have
have
you
taken
money
that
didn't
belong
to
you
or
didn't
pay
back
money
that
you
were
supposed
to
pay
back,
etcetera,
etcetera?
Well,
if
you
put
it
that
way,
yes.
OK,
That's
what
the
9th
step
looks
like.
One
of
the
things
that
the
9th
step
requires
you
to
do
to
the
best
of
your
ability
is
to
pay
all
the
money
back.
In
some
cases
that's
that
involves
da
a
payment
plan.
You
guys
ever
hear
that
one?
A
payment
plan
dollar
down,
dollar
a
week
for
the
rest
of
your
life.
Some
amends
are
simply
like
that.
We
have
to
make
them
over
a
long
period
and
in
some
cases
a
lifetime.
But
again,
I
don't,
I
don't
soft
sell
what
we're
about
to
do.
And
I
explained
to
them
in
about
20
or
25
minutes
exactly
what
any
lengths
looks
like
and
and
and
I
do
exactly
what
Chapter
7
says.
I
outlined
the
program
of
action
and
I
give
them
that
information
and
I
let
them
know
what
it
looks
like
that
if
they
decide
they
want
to
do
this,
that's
what
it's
going
to
look
like.
And
then
I
have
them
answer
the
two
questions
with
each
step.
Is
this
what
you
want
to
do
and
are
you
willing
to
go
to
any
lengths
to
do
it?
Says
on
the
last
paragraph
of
page
90
If
he
if
he
does
not
want
to
see
you,
never
force
yourself
upon
him.
Neither
should
the
family
hysterically
plead
with
him
to
do
anything,
nor
should
they
tell
him
much
about
you.
They
should
wait
for
the
end
of
his
next
drinking
bout.
You
might
place
this
book
where
he
can
see
it
in
the
interval.
Here
are
no
specific
rule
can
be
given.
The
family
must
decide
these
things,
but
urge
them
not
to
be
over
anxious,
for
that
might
spoil
matters.
Usually
a
family
should
not
try
to
tell
your
story.
When
possible,
avoid
meeting
a
man
through
his
family
approach
to
a
doctor
or
an
institution.
As
a
better
bet,
here's
an
important
one.
I
used
to
think
that
I
could
play
God
and
and
if
I
had
the
opportunity
to
pull
drunks
off
the
street
and
throw
them
in
my
basement
and
sober
them
up.
But
this,
I
don't
see
it
that
way
anymore.
It
says
if
your
man
needs
hospitalization
he
should
have
it,
but
not
forcibly.
Unless
he
isn't.
He
is
violent.
You
know,
Alcoholics
die
from
the
DTS.
It's
a
terrible
thing.
And
I
don't
play
a
doctor
with
this
thing.
I
put
them
into
an
emergency
room
or
there's
still
a
few
rehabs
open
up
around
here.
Let
the
doctor,
if
you
will,
tell
him
he
has
something
in
the
way
of
a
solution.
When
your
man
is
better,
the
doctor
might
suggest
a
visit
from
you.
Though
you
have
talked
with
the
family,
leave
them
out
of
the
first
discussion.
Under
these
conditions,
your
prospect
will
see
he
is
under
no
pressure.
He
will
feel
he
can
deal
with
you
without
being
nagged
by
his
family
calling
him
while
he
is
still
jittery.
He
may
be
more
receptive
when
depressed
and
that's
very
true.
Usually
it's
the
people.
The
people
we
have
a
hard
time
12
stepping
are
the
ones
that
are
out
of
rehab
for
28
days.
They're
feeling
good.
They've
been
having
three
hots
and
a
cot
and
they're,
they're
all,
they're
all
pumped
up
with
vitamins
and
they're
ready
to
go
to
Alcoholics
Anonymous
with
an
X-ray
of
their
liver
under,
under
one
arm
and
$35,000
Big
Book
under
the
other
arm.
Usually
those
are
the
ones
where
I
like,
I
got
this
thing
licked.
You
know,
I've
been
to
rehab.
I'm
OK.
But
the
ones
who
are
just
coming
off
at
drunk
and
who
are
still
shivering
and
shaking
and
detoxing
off
of
whiskey,
those
are
the
ones
I
like
to
talk
to
again,
Not
when
they're
violently
drunk,
but
when
they're
just
coming
down
like
I
was
when
I
first
I,
I
didn't
enter
a
A
until
I
was
three
days
removed
from
my
last
drink,
you
know,
and
I
was
still
feeling
the
effects.
I
was
depressed
but
I
was
receptive
because
I
wanted
to
help.
So
it
says
see
your
man
alone
if
possible.
That
does
not
mean
go
on
a
12
step
call
by
yourself.
We
always
go
in
pairs.
At
least
what
that
sentence
says
is
see
your
man
alone
if
possible.
Means
exactly
what
it's
been
saying
in
the
previous
paragraphs.
See
him
outside
of
the
family.
Don't
talk
to
him
while
he's
sitting
on
the
couch
with,
with,
with
Mommy
and
Aunt
Bessie.
You
know,
get
him
while
he's
by
himself.
It's
very
important
to
do
a
12
step
call
with
an
with
another
person.
I
haven't
had
this
experience
per
se,
but
I
know
a
lot
of
people
who
have.
Some
people
who
are
close
with
me
where
drunks
have
become
very
violent.
In
some
cases,
guns
have
been
brought
into
the
picture.
I've
heard
stories
where
people
have
gotten
shot
on
a
12
step
call.
So
a
friend
of
mine,
Dave,
he
calls
the
second
person
that
goes
on
the
call
with
you.
He
calls
that
person
the
safety.
Before
we
even
go
12
step,
the
the
person,
we
usually
make
a
decision
who
who's
going
to
basically
lead
the
deal?
Who's
going
to
12th
step?
The
guy
and
the
other
guy
is
the
safety.
He's
there
for
protection
in
case
the
the
guy
goes
bananas,
you
know,
whether
it
be
guns
or
knives
or
or
what
have
you.
So
again,
I
urge
upon
you,
never,
never
interact
with
with
a
drunk
by
yourself.
Matter
of
fact,
in
the
early
days
they
would
put
the
drunk
up
in
the
hospital
in
Akron,
particularly
with
Doctor
Bob
and
Sister
Ignatia
and
all
the
other
cast
of
characters
that
that
Bill
is
better
inclined
to
tell
you
the
history
about.
But
they
would
set
the
drunk
up
in
the
hospital
and
give
them
a
private
room.
And
over
over
a
series
of
several
days
that
sometimes
these
drunks
were
being
visited
by
20
people,
all
going
in
there
to
tell
them
their
story.
Not
his
story,
not
to
talk
about
his
drinking,
but
to
for
me
to
tell
the
prospective
member
of
Alcoholics
Anonymous
what
my
drinking
was
like
so
he
could
identify
with
that
and
say,
well,
God,
I'm
just
like
you
guys,
you
guys
aren't
drinking
today.
What'd
you
do?
And
then
we
can
give
them
a
spiritual
solution,
you
know,
so
back
then
the
the
hospital
in
Akron
would
just
get
flooded
with,
with
people
go
on,
on
what
they
used
to
call
the
visit.
That's
that's
what
it
was
called
in
the
early
days.
At
first,
engage
in
general
conversation.
After
a
while,
turn
the
talk
to
some
phase
of
drinking.
Tell
him
enough
about
your
drinking
habit,
symptoms,
and
experiences
to
encourage
him
to
speak
of
himself.
If
he
wishes
to
talk,
let
him
do
so.
You
will
thus
get
a
better
idea
of
how
you
ought
to
proceed.
If
he
is
not
commutative,
give
him
a
sketch
of
your
drinking
career
up
until
the
time
he
quit.
Again,
tell
him
your
story,
but
say
nothing
from
for
the
moment
of
how
that
was
accomplished.
If
he
is
in
a
serious
mood,
dwell
on
the
troubles
liquor
has
cost
you,
being
careful
not
to
moralize
our
lecture.
If
his
mood
is
light,
tell
him
humorous
stories
of
your
escapades.
Get
him
to
tell
some
of
his
when
he
sees
you
know
all
about
the
drinking
gang
commenced
to
describe
yourself
as
an
alcoholic.
Tell
him
how
baffled
you
were,
how
you
finally
learned
that
you
were
sick.
Excuse
me?
Give
him
an
account
of
the
struggles
you
made
to
stop.
Show
him
the
mental
twist
which
leads
to
the
first
drink
of
a
spree.
We
suggest
you
do
this
as
we
have
done
in
the
chapter
on
alcoholism.
That's
chapter
3.
What
a
beautiful
chapter,
particularly
for
people
who
have
relapsed
a
beautiful,
beautiful
chapter
because
they
they
give
several
examples
on
how
on
the
the
mental
twist
which
which
leads
to
the
first
drink.
Excellent
chapter.
If
he
is
alcoholic,
he
will
understand
you
at
once.
He
will
match
your
mental
inconsistencies
with
some
of
his.
And
all
that
sentence
is
saying
is
he
will
identify.
And
once
we
have
him,
once
he
or
she
identifies,
we
got
him
hooked.
It's
like
putting
bait
on
a
hook
and
catching
a
fish.
When
one
alcoholic
can
relate
to
another
alcoholic,
we
got
them.
It's
a
beautiful
process
to
watch
someone
literally
light
up
because
they
identify
that
they
are
just
like
you
and
you're
not
drinking
anymore.
And
you
seen
them
be
living
a
pretty
good
life.
And
that's
called
hope.
Beautiful
thing
to
watch
someone
get
open
their
eyes.
If
you
are
satisfied
that
he
is
a
real
alcoholic,
begin
to
dwell
on
the
hopelessness,
the
hopeless
feature
of
the
malady.
And
we
can
also
add
to
that,
dwell
on
the
hopeless
feature
of
the
spiritual
malady.
Show
him,
from
your
own
experience,
how
the
queer
mental
condition
surrounding
that
first
drink
prevents
normal
functioning
of
the
willpower.
Don't,
at
this
stage,
refer
to
this
book
unless
he
has
seen
it
and
wishes
to
discuss
it.
And
be
careful
not
to
brand
him
as
an
alcoholic.
Let
him
draw
his
own
conclusion.
If
he
sticks
to
the
idea
that
he
can
still
control
his
drinking,
tell
him
that
possibly
he
can
if
he
is
not
too
alcoholic.
I
love
that
if
he
is
not
too
alcoholic,
but
insist
that
if
he
is
severely
afflicted,
there
may
be
little
chance
he
can
recover
by
himself.
Continue
to
speak
of
alcoholism
as
an
illness
of
fatal
malady.
Talk
about
the
conditions
of
body,
physical
allergy
and
mind
mental
obsession
which
accompanying
it.
Keep
his
attention
focused
mainly
on
your
personal
experience.
Explain
that
many
are
doomed
who
never
realized
their
predicament.
Skip
down
to
the
very
last
line
of
the
page
says
even
though
your
protege.
Notice
it
doesn't
say
baby,
it
doesn't
say
pigeon,
and
really
in
the
1st
164
pages
there's
nowhere
that
it
says
spot
seat.
Although
I
do
use
that
word
from
time
to
time.
But
the
the
words
I
like
to
use
are
protege
and
prospect,
and
this
chapter
uses
both
of
those
words.
The
prospect
is
the
man
that
we're
making
the
12
step
call
on.
He's
a
prospect.
You're
not
really
sure
if
he's
in
or
he's
out.
Does
he
want
the
the
fellowship
in
the
program
of
Alcoholics
in
August?
We're
not
too
sure,
but
we're
making
the
pitch.
We're
12
step
in
them.
The
protege
is
someone
that
I
have
hooked,
so
to
speak.
You
know,
they
identify,
they
want
to
do
this.
You
know,
they
want
to
take
the
12
steps
of
Alcoholics
Anonymous
and,
and
I've
to
use
the
term
loosely,
I've
taken
them
under
my
wings,
so
to
speak.
You
know,
they're
a
protege.
Definition
of
the
word
protege
is
a
very
special
person.
And
I
tell
you
anybody
that
I
work
with
is
very
special.
They're
very
special
because
they
help
this
drunk.
They
help
me
more
than
I
could
ever
help
them.
So
I
don't
like
to
refer
to
people
that
I
work
with
as,
as
babies,
although
that
term
does
have
some
historical
significance.
I've
been
told
that
that
it
comes
from
Doctor
Bob
and
you
know,
that's
OK.
That
term
is
used
heavily
in
in
California
and
and
that's
OK.
And
I
don't
use
the
word
pigeon,
I
heard
a
guy
say
one
time.
Well,
I
I
referred
to
him
as
my
pigeons
because
they
crap
all
over
me.
I
don't
like
that.
I
don't
like
that
they
don't
crap
all
over
me.
People
only.
People
only
poo,
poo
all
over
me
if
I
allow
them
to.
Other
Alcoholics
like
myself
are
sick.
Of
course
they're
going
to
do
things
that
I
don't
like.
They're
alcoholic.
They're
just
like
I
was
and
still
can
be,
you
know.
So
I
like
to
refer
to
them
as
either
my
friend
or
a
protege.
And
these,
these
people
are
a
joy,
I'll
tell
you.
So
even
though
your
protege
may
not
have
entirely
admitted
his
condition,
he
buys
some
of
the
first
step.
But
he's
still
having
some
problems
seeing
the
entire
ball
of
wax.
He
has
become
very
curious
to
know
how
you
got
well,
you
know
he
knows
he
has
a
problem,
but
he's
just
not
ready
to
admit
it.
But
he
sees
something
in
you,
so
it
says.
Let
him
ask
that
question,
if
he
will,
and
it
says
in
italics.
Tell
him
exactly
what
happened
to
you
exactly.
If
he
says,
what
did
you
do
to
beat
this
game
of
alcoholism?
What
have
you
done
to
recover?
Let
him
know.
Let
him
know
the
spiritual
experience
that
you
have
as
the
result
of
doing
these
steps.
And
this
is
when
we
can
now
stress
the
spiritual
future
freely.
We
hold
back
a
little
bit
on
it
in
the
beginning
because
we
don't
want
to
scare
the
guy
off.
Stress
the
spiritual
feature
freely.
If
the
man
be
agnostic
or
atheist,
make
it
emphatic
that
he
does
not
have
to
agree
with
your
conception
of
God.
Again,
that's
an
italicized
writing
doesn't
have
to
believe
in
what
I
believe
in.
He
can
choose
any
conception
he
likes
providing
and
makes
sense
to
him.
The
main
thing
is
that
he'd
be
willing.
Sounds
like
a
taste
of
Step
2
here,
huh?
The
main
thing
is
that
he'd
be
willing
to
believe
in
a
power
greater
than
himself,
and
that
he
lived
by
spiritual
principles.
He'd
be
willing
to
believe
in
a
power
greater
than
himself.
Step
2,
and
that
he
lived
by
spiritual
principles
all
the
rest
of
the
steps
three
through
12.
When
dealing
with
such
a
person,
you
had
better
use
everyday
language
to
describe
spiritual
principles.
Don't
get
too
Freudian.
Don't
get
too
clinical
or
or
medical.
Use
everyday
language.
And
that's
a
that's
a
great
thing
about
Alcoholics
Anonymous,
the
Fellowship.
And
that's
a
great
thing
about
our
big
book
is
that
this
book
is
written
in
drunk
language.
It's
written
in
a
way
that
I
can
relate
to.
There's
no
use
arousing
any
prejudice
he
may
have
against
certain
theological
terms
and
conceptions
about
which
he
may
already
be
confused.
Don't
raise
such
issues,
no
matter
what
your
own
convictions
your
prospect
may
be
may
belong
to
a
religious
denomination
or
I've
actually
made
the
Freudian
slip
and
said
religious
domination.
That
also
implies
in
some
cases
his
religious
education
and
training
may
be
far
superior
to
yours.
In
that
case,
he
is
going
to
wonder
how
you
can
add
anything
to
what
he
already
knows,
but
he
will
be
curious
to
learn
why
his
own
convictions
have
not
worked
and
why
you're
seeing
the
work
so
well.
He
may
be
an
example
of
the
truth
that
faith
alone
is
insufficient
to
be
vital
faith.
Faith
must
be
accompanied
by
self
sacrifice
and
unselfish
constructive
action.
Faith
without
works
is
dead.
What
are
the
works?
The
works
is
self
sacrifice
and
unselfish
constructive
action.
Let
them
see
that
you
are
not
there
to
instruct
him
in
religion.
It
admit
that
he
probably
knows
more
about
it
than
you
do,
but
call
to
his
attention
the
fact
that
however
deep
his
faith
and
knowledge,
he
could
not
have
applied
it
or
he
would
not
drink.
Perhaps
your
story
will
help
him
see
where
he
has
failed
to
practice
the
very
precepts
he
knows
so
well.
Again,
it's
a
whole
thing
about
knowledge
and
information
versus
experience.
And
I
can
have
all
the
knowledge
in
the
world,
the
prospect
can
have
all
the
knowledge
about
spiritual
matters
in
the
world.
But
if
he
hasn't
had
an
experience
with
it,
I
think
he's
not
going
to
be
able
to
quit
drinking.
Same
was
the
case
with
me.
We
represent
and
then,
and
this
is,
this
is
a
great
thing
about
a,
a.
We
represent
no
particular
faith
or
denomination.
We've,
we've
opened
this
whole
thing
up
to
anyone.
We
are
very
inclusive
and
thank
goodness
for
that.
I
mean,
if
you're
Christian,
Jewish,
Hindu,
Buddhist,
Native
American,
whatever,
welcome
to
Alcoholics
Anonymous.
Because
Alcoholics
Anonymous
talks
about
a
universal
God.
Alcoholics
Anonymous
talks
about
a
higher
power.
Alcoholics
Anonymous
talks
about
for
deep
down
within
every
man,
woman
and
child
is
the
fundamental
basic
idea
of
God.
Alcoholics
Anonymous
talks
about
start
where
you
are.
Do
you
believe,
or
are
you
even
willing
to
believe
that
there
is
some
power
that
can
help
you
with
your
alcoholic
problem?
Great
thing
about
a
A
It's
universal
outline,
the
program
of
action
explaining
how
you
made
a
self
appraisal
steps
four
and
five,
how
you
straighten
out
your
past
steps
8:00
and
9:00,
and
why
you
are
now
endeavoring
to
be
helpful
to
him.
Step
12,
right?
So
what
I
do
with
the
prospect
during
that
20
to
25
minute,
and
it
by
all
means
varies
conversation.
Quite
often
this
happens
over
the
phone.
During
that
conversation.
I
do
exactly
this.
I
outlined
the
program
of
action,
and
that's
what
I
was
describing
before.
I
give
him,
I
give
him
a
snapshot
of
what
the
12
steps
looks
like.
I
described
that
to
them
and
I
let
them
know
what
any
lengths
looks
like,
what
they're
going
to
have
to
do
if
they
want
to
take
the
steps
that
we've
taken
to
recover
from
alcoholism.
It
is
important
for
him
to
realize
that
your
attempt
to
pass
this
on
to
him
plays
a
vital
part
in
your
own
recovery.
And
I
let
him
know
that,
and
I
let
him
know
this,
that
he
may
be
helping
me
more
than
I
am
helping
him.
I
mean
that,
that
is
so
true.
Some
of
my
some
of
the
best
ways
that
I've
been
helped
in
Alcoholics
Anonymous
has
come
through
my
failures.
Saw
a
guy
a
couple
weeks
ago,
I
got
sober
with
him.
Actually,
I
got
sober
before
him
and
my
sponsor,
my
original
sponsor
sponsored
him.
And
you
know,
I
was
in
that
evangelical
piss
and
vinegar
mode
after
about
six
months
or
so
of
sobriety.
And
I
always
wanted
to
help
this
guy.
Yeah,
we
had
the
same
sponsor,
but
I
was
going
to
help
him
too.
And
so
I
saw
this
guy
a
few
weeks
ago
and,
and
and
he
was
drunk
and
he
was
at
a
meeting,
but
he
was
drunk
and
he
couldn't
stop
drinking.
And
when
I
was
way
off
and
he
was
in
bad,
bad
shape
and
it
broke
my
heart
to
see
that
because
over
the
years
and
I
hadn't
seen
him
in
a
few
years
because
where
I
saw
him
is
where
I
originally
got
got
sober
in
in
central
New
Jersey.
And
I
don't
really
get
a
chance
to
go
back
there
too
often
anymore.
But
during
the
early
days
of
our
recovery,
me
and
this
guy
got
real
close
and
I
would
go
over
his
house
sometimes
with
the
intention
of,
you
know,
playing
Mr.
A
A
and
trying
to
help
him
and,
and
you
got
to
do
your
inventory.
And,
but
quite
frankly,
I
was
going
through
a
real
rough
patch
in
early
sobriety,
I
would
say
within
my
first
year.
And,
and
I,
I
would
simply
go
over
it
to
his
house
with
the
intention
of
trying
to
help
him.
And
I
ended
up
getting
help
more.
I
ended
up
not
drinking
as
the
result
of
it.
I
ended
up
sitting
down
with
this
with
this
man's
family
and
breaking
bread
with
them
and
playing
with
his
little
children
and
watching
Jurassic
Park
with
them.
And
I
didn't
have
to
pick
up
a
drink
that
day
and
I
was
able,
I
reminded
him
in
this,
even
when
he
was
drunk,
I
just
felt
it
from
my
heart
to
do
that.
And
I
reminded
him
of
this.
And,
you
know,
I
just
encouraged
them
that,
you
know,
I,
I
know
it's
difficult
for
you
to
quit
drinking,
but
keep
trying.
And,
and
when
you
get
the
booze
out
of
your
system,
grab
somebody
'cause
you
know,
I,
I
live
far
away
from
them,
but
grab
somebody
local
here
that
does
this
work
and,
and
does
the
steps
and,
and,
and
have
this
experience.
And,
and
I
was
just
really
able
to
have
for
this
guy.
And
it
wasn't
something
that
I
had
to
muster
up.
It
just
came
from
within
me
and
and
I
let
him
know.
I
said,
man,
you
helped
me
so,
so
much.
I
just
let
them
know.
Let
other
people
help
you
in
that.
So
I
have
no
idea
where
that
came
from.
Actually,
it
came
from
he
may
be
helping
you
more
than
you're
helping
him.
OK,
Make
it
plain
he
is
under
no
obligation
to
you,
that
you
hope
only
that
he
will
try
to
help
other
Alcoholics
when
he
escapes
his
own
difficulties.
And
that
was
the
same
message
that
I
passed
on
to
Bob.
Suggest
how
important
it
is
that
he
placed
the
welfare
of
other
people
ahead
of
his
own
unselfishness.
Make
it
clear
that
he
is
under
no
pressure,
that
he
needn't
see
you
again
if
he
doesn't
want
to.
You
should
not
be
offended
if
he
wants
to
call
it
off,
or
he
has
helped
you
more
than
you
have
helped
him.
If
your
talk
has
been
sane,
quiet
and
full
of
human
understanding,
you
have
perhaps
made
a
friend.
Maybe
you
have
disturbed
him
about
the
question
of
alcoholism,
and
this
is
all
to
the
good.
The
more
hopeless
he
feels,
the
better
he
will
be
more
likely
to
follow
your
suggestions.
Your
candidate
may
give
reasons
why
he
need
not
follow
all
the
program.
He
may
rebel
at
the
thought
of
a
drastic
house
cleaning,
which
requires
discussion
with
other
people.
Do
not
contradict
such
views.
Tell
him
you
once
felt
as
he
does,
but
you
doubt
whether
you
would
have
made
such
progress
had
you
not
taken
action
on
your
first
visit.
And
all
the
information
that
we've
covered
so
far
has
been
about
the
first
visit.
Next
week
we're
going
to
get
into
the
second
visit.
On
your
first
visit,
tell
him
about
Fellowship
of
Alcoholics
Anonymous.
If
he
shows
interest,
let
him
your
copy
of
this
book.
Unless
your
friend
wants
to
talk
further
about
himself,
do
not
wear
out
your
welcome.
Give
him
a
chance
to
think
it
over.
If
you
do
not
stay,
let
him
steer
the
conversation
in
any
direction
he
likes.
Sometimes
a
new
man
is
anxious
to
proceed
at
once,
and
you
may
be
tempted
to
let
him
do
so.
This
is
sometimes
a
mistake.
If
he
has
trouble
later,
he
is
likely
to
say
you
rushed
him.
You
will
you
will
be
most
successful
with
Alcoholics
if
you
deny
exhibit
any
passion
for
crusade
or
reform.
Here's
definitely
a
couple
tips.
One
gentleman
I
know
refers
to
this
as
the
12
steppers
decorum.
Never
talk
down
to
an
alcoholic
from
any
moral
or
spiritual
hilltop.
That's
1-2.
Simply
lay
out
the
kit
of
spiritual
tools
for
his
inspection
3
Show
him
how
they
work
for
you.
4
Offer
him
friendship
and
fellowship,
and
five,
tell
him
if
he
wants
to
get
well
you
you'll
do
anything
to
help.
If
he
is
not
interested
in
your
solution,
if
he
expects
you
to
act
only
as
a
banker
for
his
financial
difficulties
or
a
nurse
for
his
sprees,
you
may
have
to
drop
him
until
he
changes
his
mind.
This
he
may
do
after
he
gets
hurt
some
more.
If
he
is
sincerely
interested
and
wants
to
see
you
again,
ask
him
to
read
this
book.
In
the
interval
after
doing
that,
he
must
decide
for
himself
whether
he
wants
to
go
on.
And
that's
exactly
what
I
do
with
him.
I
asked
him,
do
do
you
want
to
go
on
with
the
12
steps
of
Alcoholics
Anonymous?
He
should
not
be
pushed
or
prided
by
you,
his
wife,
or
his
friends.
If
he
is
to
find
God.
The
desire
must
come
from
within,
just
like
the
desire
to
quit
drinking
must
come
from
within.
The
desire
to
find
God,
or
the
desire
to
go
through
with
the
program
recovery
must
come
from
within.
If
he
thinks
he
can
do
the
job
in
some
other
way
or
prefers
some
other
spiritual
approach,
encourage
him
to
follow
his
own
conscience.
We
have
no
monopoly
on
God,
and
we
merely
have
an
approach
that
worked
for
us.
But
point
out
that
we
Alcoholics
have
much
in
common
and
that
you
would
like
in
any
case
to
be
friendly
and
let
it
go
at
that.
This
guy
wants
to
go
to
church
and
and
and
attempt
to
get
sober
through
religion.
Then
that's
all.
Don't
stop
that.
It
works
for
a
lot
of
people.
We
have
no
no
monopoly
on
God
and
certainly
we
don't
have
the
only
solution
to
alcoholism.
We
just
have
the
best
solution
that
works
for
the
greatest
amount
of
people.
Do
not
be
discouraged
if
your
prospect
does
not
respond
at
once.
Search
out
another
alcoholic
and
try
again.
You
are
sure
to
find
someone
desperate
enough
to
accept
with
eagerness
what
you
offer.
We
find
it
a
waste
of
time
to
keep
chasing
a
man
who
cannot
or
will
not
work
with
you.
If
you
leave
such
a
person
alone,
he
may
he
may
soon
become
convinced
that
he
cannot
recover
by
himself.
To
spend
too
much
time
on
anyone
situation
is
to
deny
some
other
alcoholic
an
opportunity
to
live
and
to
be
happy.
One
of
our
fellowship
failed
entirely
with
his
first
half
dozen
prospects.
He
often
says
that
if
he
continued
to
work
on
them,
he
might
have
deprived
many
others
who
have
since
recovered
of
their
chance.
So
again,
if
the
person
doesn't
want
what
you
have
the
offer,
let
them
go.
Go
on
to
the
next
person
and
don't
try
to
cram
this
thing
down
someone's
throat
who
who's
not
swallowing
it
because
you
just
may
be
preventing
yourself
from
being
available
to
another
alcoholic
who
really
does
want
this
thing.
We'll
stop
there
for
tonight,
and
next
week
we'll
pick
it
up
in
the
middle
of
page
96
where
it
says
suppose
now
you're
making
your
second
visit.
Thanks
for
letting
me
share.