The 38th North Shore Roundup in Vancouver, Canada

Hi everyone, I am a grateful recovered alcoholic. My name is Katie Gordon. I have had the gift of sobriety since October the 28th of 1984 and I'm very grateful for that.

I'm just grateful to be in Canada if you want to know the truth.

First of all, I'd like to just take a quick moment. Does anyone still have an extra seat next to them? You can hold your hand up way high and you guys in the back, you got to scuttle quick if you want to grab a seat. But that's your shot I'm giving you.

You know, I want to thank Josh. He has surrendered Saturday night. And if you travel around and speak a little bit, yeah, it's not the night you really want to surrender. So I'd like to thank Josh for giving up Saturday night,

Serena for switching Sunday to Friday.

Let me tell you how my weekend has gone.

Your country is not easy to get into.

And, and I'm telling you guys, I, I feel like I need an extra 15 minutes on the end of my talk because I can't leave your country without telling you what happened to get here. It was like planes, trains and automobiles, right? And, and that's how it originally began. I, I, I get my passport, I look at it, it's, it's expired. I've got two months. No big deal. I try to do it online. I'm, I'm, I'm 51 years old. OK,

go ahead.

And I always look for that. I work hard at that.

I'm I'm 51 years old. So, you know, doing it online is not that easy, right? I can't quite understand what there. So I think I got it. I think I got it and I get the I get back this little card and I think, well, this doesn't look right. You know, I sent them my my passbook and, and so I go down to immigration in Austin and I said, look, this is what I got. It says it's not good for, you know, air travel, but it's good for land and water

and, and, and the kids name was Cullen, if that lets you know how old he was. And

he comes to me and he goes, I think it's OK. I said, Colin, I think is not going to work. I, I need to have you tell me you're sure this is going to get me into the country. And, and I said, and if you're not sure, I need your cell phone number because if I'm standing at customs and I can't get in, I'm calling you.

And I mean, by this point, he's a little nervous. He goes on his computer and comes back. He goes, no, ma'am. I am 100% sure that'll get you in the country. Cullen is wrong.

OK, so I can't even get out of Austin, TX right. And that is when you really, really at that moment when the when the US Air said you're not getting on the plane,

the language was so unacceptable from me that you do not want general service office seeing a videotape of that. You know what I mean?

The good news is it wouldn't add anybody. It was just in the air, you know what I mean? But everyone knew that down at US Air, there was a serious problem.

And I am flipping out, you know, and I'm, I'm using the big words, the big words, the big words that, you know, can insult a lot of people. And, and,

and I just, I couldn't believe it. And the, the little, you know, supervisor comes out goes, man, I am so sorry. So I get outside and you know, my fiance goes in there and he's he's trying to work his magic and his passport scans and his luggage is getting on and, and he tells the little super he goes, man, I'm not leaving if she can't go.

And so I'm out front. This woman circles the air report comes back and goes, I saw you crying. Is everything OK? It's like,

and I,

I told Charlie, I said, you take me over to see Cullen right now.

And you know, that's the that's the place in Alcoholics Anonymous I think you can relate to is that I am crazy enough to kill both of us.

And Charlie's like, Katie, we're not, we're not going to see Cullen right now.

And so the the little guy from US Air and Charlie are working some magic. He says, listen, what I can do. He goes that that card will get you across the border by land. And he said, I can fly you to Seattle. It's about an hour drive.

No one has any good information.

And I told Charlie, let's do it, Let's do it. You know, so we we get there, we're getting ready to get to the Canadian border and it's looking like I'm still going to make Friday night and not screw this entire event up, right. Charlie and I are getting ready to go through. We're kind of watching them at customs. You know, we're used to Mexico going into Mexico, but this is a little bit more sophisticated. And, you know, they do have machine guns down in Mexico, but and, but they still kind of look like, you know, a bunch of trying to herd cats. And and so

we're watching this deal go on and and there's a chick in there. And I'm thinking she looks kind of like she knows what she's doing here. Little Miss Barney Five, you know,

we pulled in there and I'm thinking, fine, this little card is going to get us through. We're all worried about me. You are not going to believe what happened. My fiance gives her his passport. She pulls it out. She pulls it out of the little leather case because, you know, he's pretty cool. So he's got a little leather case and he and he goes, She goes. You have a Korean passport with your information glued in there.

It's like what? And I mean, it was swap. It was

get out of the car. I'm looking at him going, what the hell? Do you have a Korean passport? Jesus. You know, we're worried about. Well, the next thing you know, I need to tell you, I mean, he's all but handcuffed. They're reading him his rights. It's a federal offense. He's going to jail. I am not coming into your country again.

And I am alcoholic and I don't know about you, but I don't care. I just want to get here, you know? And so I'm thinking, well, I'll tell you what, I'll get here and I'll ask for an attorney. And while you're in the clink, honey, we'll, you know, we'll send you somebody and. Oh my God. And, and let me tell you, they are intimidating. They're at that border.

I mean to tell you they did some, they just badger you and badger you and you know, they're like empty your pockets. I got on some, you know, designer jeans. Well, the pockets about that deep, you know, you're like man, that's it, honey, there ain't nothing in that pocket. You know, the zipper is that long for God sakes, you know, and

and then she wants me to unbutton the thing. I didn't know what unbuttoned, you know, I'm like, oh, come on, you know, and she's standing up

and once again, you know, never forgetting alcoholism. I've had it. I have had it. Now, granted, I wasn't the one with the the forged passport

and

so I wasn't in as much trouble as he was, which is always good. But

I told her at one point they would ask me a question and then you couldn't answer and then they would badger you and keep badgering you. And I just finally held my hands up and I said, listen, I am done. I thought, that's it. I don't care if you have a gun. I'm going to sit down, you know, and you can keep Charlie looking at me like

I have a headache. Oh my God. We'll come to find out. This is what finally ended up happening. Is

someone clearly we have our house very open to Alcoholics. Such a trustworthy group.

And his passport is in the junk drawer in the kitchen. And somebody has taken his passport, which by the way, is worth $5000 on the open market. the US passport. We didn't know that. Had we still been drinking, I probably could have told you how much a passport was worth. But since we've been sober a while, we're kind of out of the loop. And

so it's worth $5000 if somebody has taken his passport, photocopied it, taken a Korean passport, glued his information in it, and we don't know it. We just open it to see if it's expired. It's in that little fancy, you know, leather deal. And so when we hand it, we just set off a bomb. So there you have it. They did let us in the country, but before they let us in, In my purse, there's a thing called BC powder. Is anybody at all familiar with

Patter up here in Canada

now? Well, it's good stuff, man. It is BC powder is aspirin and it's completely fine like cocaine and it's it's folded in little white paper

and it comes

in a box and the box always gets smooshed in my purse. So I put it in a little tin canister.

Yeah. So I'm sitting over there. At one point he goes turn to the wall. You can't watch, you know, And I'm turning the wall and I have to watch curling.

What is up with that sport?

I mean, it looks like house cleaning on crack cocaine, You know,

So at one point I thought, this is torture. I cannot watch the curling anymore. The news is right behind me. And I want to watch the woman in California that was in that, you know, Scion flipping everybody out. And so I'm just like, oh, forget it, I've turned around. He can just arrest me. And so the guy goes,

Mary, Mary Gordon, which that's the name I never used. I come over there and he goes, what is this?

And you know what? When you've been sober 24 years, heck, you could be sober for two years and you're like aspirin,

aspirin, but it ain't got nothing.

I mean that feeling. I have crossed the border many times where that would have been hidden, freaking out. And he goes, what do you mean it's aspirin? I said it's BC patter, I don't know if you have it in your country. And I said taste it. He goes, I am not tasting it.

So then he gives, you know, acetaminophen. Well, aspirin is what I call it. I don't know what you call it, but

so he googles BC patter and sure enough, there, there it is. Which by the way, is doggone good stuff. It'll get rid of a headache in 15 minutes. OK, so that's it. I did pretty good, honey. I I did that story in 10 minutes. So,

so I want to thank everyone for being so kind as to allow us to switch. And the reason I can't be the Sunday morning speaker is because we only have a 48 hour pass in your country. Yeah,

yeah. They want us back at the border at 9:00 AM.

Had a ball in Canada?

Oh for God's sakes, it's right up against the US. I mean, how difficult can that be?

Thinking honey just distract them and I'll run across real quick.

Ohh well so be thinking about us at 9:00 tomorrow when he tries to get across without a passport.

They confiscated his illegal Korean passport.

Korean.

OK, so back to my life.

I,

the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, have gotten me in touch with a God that is crazy in love with Katie. I mean, I just never knew I could have a God that loved me so much. And I'm telling you guys, it it, it blows me away the longer I'm sober. I get blown away at the level that these 12 steps can bring you to now. That was not my experience through my entire 24 years of sobriety.

A lots happened in 24 years. One of the things the book suggests is that I share with you what I was like, what happened and what I'm like now. And I like to look at that as kind of like what I was like without God in my life and drugs and alcohol and even before drugs and alcohol, how my life turned out with God in my life. And that's hopefully the journey I'll take you through today. I I am someone who has tremendous integrity.

I have dignity. That is not what I came in here with. I came in here at 26 years old in 1984,

and what led up to before I got sober was basically I was AI was the third born. I was a child of the 50s. Let's hear it for those fifty babies.

I have glasses because I can no longer read.

I was born in 1958. I was the youngest of three, my brothers and sisters each two years older. That's just what you did in the 50s. And so, you know, it's me, my sister and my brother. We were pretty much just your middle, middle, upper middle class American family. And my dad was a traveling salesman for Union Car body was an electrical engineer, I think civil engineer, some sort of an engineer. And

my mom was a stay at home mom. That's just what they did, right? And you know, it's interesting. Alcoholism to me happened long before I took the drink. And I didn't know that. But looking back on my life, I completely understand that there were two things I love to do as a kid. One was to hyperventilate. And the other was Vick's Formula 44. Man,

I dug both those things. And do I have any hyperventilators in the room?

Oh, yeah. And you're proud of it. By God, you know, we would, you know, wrap a towel up and choke you till you passed out. And then when you came to it, really, it's a good test to see who's alcoholic and who's not. Because whoever came out of that terrified probably is not one of us. But whoever came out of that went do it again

is probably either in this room or needs to be in this room. You know,

I love to hyperventilate and we will hyperventilating at an early age, you know, I mean, we were just doing anything you could do to alter the way you felt because I never, I didn't really necessarily feel like I didn't fit in. I felt like I had to excel to beat you to be OK, not to even be close to equal. I needed to beat you to know I was OK. I was competitive in everything I did. One of the things was in school, I was, I just absolutely hated school. Anyone else

school, I mean hated it. Oh God, I even hated taking my kids to school. You know, I mean, I just the whole concept of school just bugged me and and you know, it's funny because you know, I, I'm, I'm long past this. You know, I could have gone back to college. I could have done anything. I just had no desire. And what ended up happening is I you have to become a pretty good cheater if you hate school. So I became a professional cheater and, and in that professional

cheating, I mean, I took it to levels that you can't even imagine where you broke back into the school. You left a window unlocked because you could go in there and change the grades because it wasn't all computer and it's all just a #2 pencil. And it was really easy. And, and I mean, I was crafty and I was crafty from early on. And that crafty I'm, I'm telling you, had I had I set that in the right direction, I really think you'd have a, well, you'd have Serena up here, the PhD. But

you know, I I had that in all the wrong directions, you know, And so I basically cheated through school, which

I don't know about you guys, but when you cheat through school, you learn nothing.

And you know, you don't you don't know the history of Canada, right? You know, I told Johnny I went, wow, it's a heavy Asian influence here He goes. Well, Kitty, you know, back when China

I got nothing, didn't care about the US history, really don't care about the China history. I mean the Canadian history just to comment

and and you know, it, it just, it's never appealed to me. But then you come into alcohol, it's anonymous. And what do they do? They go, here's a book and go, oh, that's not you got it on tape or anything.

I'm not I'm not digging a book, man. And one of the things about a book, excuse me, I thought I had something crawling on me. It's my own scarf. It's like,

what is shifting?

What is this country about, man?

And so they hand you a book. Why don't comprehend? I mean, I can read, I can write, I can add, but I don't really comprehend, you know what I'm saying? Oh, I know I got a room full of cheaters out there. And so, you know, and then you got your brainiacs, which I don't even relate to, but your cheetahs. I'm with you. And so it's one of those things that, you know, you just go, Oh my God, you know, somebody goes, well, it's in the book on page such, such like,

and you know, I just, I couldn't figure out where step one was. Remember that you like, why don't they have step three? I'm obviously overlooking step one. Come on, flip, flip, flip, flip, flip, flip, flip. But so I'm too little long and I've got a I got to get through my drinking it. It's really not that it's long and it's painful, but let's zip through because a lot more has happened in sobriety than in drinking. So we're tooling along and you know, I'm the youngest of three and so

and we're pretty fun family. My dad was an ex professional football player. He played for the Steelers and and then before he went into a Union Carbide and worked in the steel industry. And so my mother gets sick, right. And I don't know, you know, you guys that were born in the 50s and the the 40s know that, you know, you couldn't go into the hospitals back in the day. And and my dad says your mom is really sick. And we're thinking what I mean, she seems fine to me. And we go up to the hospital. It's really uncomfortable and a lot

whispering kids weren't allowed in the hospitals back then. And and we go see her in this room and it it looks bad. And you know, when you got to stay at home, mom and your your middle upper America, everything is not looking really good. And and so the we say, you know, we talked to her and then we leave in the next morning. My dad comes in, says, you know, your mom died last night. And yeah, it was tragic, tragic. I was nine. Liz was 10. Mike was 12

and, and you know, you, you couldn't tell me that, that that's why I drank. If you went through the pain of losing your parent

in that deal as a kid, you drink too. And, and that's really for the longest time, I thought that's why I drank, had no idea I was alcoholic, no idea. And of course I did, you know, tremendous amount of outside issues. And I, I'm very respectful of singleness of purpose in Alcoholics Anonymous. And, and I think if, if you're not looking to the traditions and if you are, more power to you. You know, we got to keep this thing alive for our kids, Kids, kids, kids, kids, right? And.

Single singleness of purpose is huge. And

and you know, it's not out of disrespect, it's out of respect. And when I was early in sobriety, I couldn't, I didn't have much respect for singleness purpose. I thought it was ridiculous. And now I'm an old timer and I'm the one preaching singleness of purpose. So go figure.

So my mother, my mother ends up passing away and, and we're all devastated. And my dad, you know, basically has this big party and the next thing you know, guys, in six weeks, he gets married.

Oh, I know, bless his heart. He was one of us. And he was really doing the best he could. And he moves this woman in with her two kids and they last a weekend.

That's it, They're in, they're out. It was all good with me. I didn't like the kids anyway. So it's like, well, then three months later in comes this hot chick and he marries her. And we're thinking now in between there, we end up having six live in housekeepers.

So, so and she lasts like two months and she's gone and then another one comes in and she's got two kids and she ends up lasting But so when an 18 month period, my dad married three times and had six live in housekeepers 'cause he he was traveling salesman

and you know that that'll make you drink. And so, so once again, you know, we got and we're in the 60s now, man. It's all about drinking and outside issues and the whole 9 yards, right? And so

where I am digging drinking. The first time I took a drink it, we called it a depth charge and it was, you know, behind my dad's bar. Lots of drinking in my family. You just poured all the liquor in one glass and then handed it to Katie and Katie drank it. And I loved it.

And I knew the first time I drank, I was going to do a lot of that. A lot of this man. That feeling is great. Well, it's hard to get liquor when you're underage. It's hard to get liquor when you're 12, right? Even though the drinking law in Texas was 18, it was not easy. So how did you get liquor? You sat in front of the 711, and you waited for the sickest man to come, and you asked him to buy you some. Come on, you got you. Women know the guy,

the Creek and the creep is in the room right now. I know you're

ohh yeah.

And, and the creep went in and bought the liquor for the young girls and then kind of came in.

And then he was like trying to get a bugger off your finger, man. You could not lose that guy for nothing. And you're, you know, you're bobbing and weaving and you didn't have a car. So you're in the woods trying to lose the old man who was probably 28

and ohh, I remember that.

But one once again, you know, there was a Boons Farm apple wine, spinata, We had the vodka, you know, we had all the liquor going in the woods, man, and it was great. I mean, I remember alcohol being a blast and it probably turned into not being good.

I want to say maybe 19, you know? So from 12 to 19 is pretty doggone good. As far as I can remember,

not a lot of responsibilities are left home at 15. Never went back. Wasn't a runaway. My dad was like done. You know that that that lets you know what how much work I was as a kid and he had just had it. And so I'm I'm out on my own. I am so full of pride. I was insistent on finishing school. You know, I even though I cheated my way through school, I needed to have that diploma because I could not be a loser. See all this always it kept going back.

If I do that, then I'm a loser. You know,

I am also very powerful.

Well,

turn on the music.

We can do this in the dark. Yes, you can still see me.

So you can still hear me. My father told me you never had a problem hearing me. So

let's see. Where was I? My dad? I left home. Oh, the pride, the level of pride. See, I had moral and philosophical convictions galore, right? I mean, I had this list that I had to live up to, period. Right. And so I am sitting there. Oh, I did get off those teleprompter things. Turn it

like those

I was I looking pretty good on those over there. Good. Thank you

see staying sober a long time. By God you look good.

Is this what the old timers look like when you came into a

Oh come on, I love the old timers. I happen to be one of them now,

but it's the level guys of incomprehensible demoralization that kicked my butt. That is the part that brought me to my knees. I could not live with ticking one more thing off that moral calendar. I mean, that moral is another thing I've done. I swear to God I'd never do another thing I've done. I swear to God I've never done. I never do. And and I ended up getting pregnant and you know, I had AI had a child and here, you know, I'm divorced now. I've been with this guy for too long and he's

crazy and I'm crazy and and I'm dragging this little girl through places she had no business being. You guys that have kids and you drag them through this disease, it just cuts away at your moral fibers. It cuts away at everything. And when I got sober, she was five. And the story goes like this. I'll try to condense it as quickly as I can. I'm too little long. I am so

burning it at both ends. Oh, there we go.

I am so see there. Yep, Yep, Yep, Yep. I am burning it down at both ends, right. I I need something so bad. I'm so grateful we have a thing in in the United States called Child Protective Services. I know you have something like that here and, and I am so grateful that they did not take my child away. However, had they taken my child away, something still would have gotten my attention. And so

I'm dragging poor little April all through this stuff and I get this. Buddy of mine calls me now. I've heard of a A twice

and keep in mind AAA is not happening. You know what I'm saying today, isn't it all over everywhere, you know, treatment and do this and are you suffering from depression and

sad money? You know, that was not the commercials 24 years ago. You know, there was no CLS and Viagra and all the I think the solution to the Viagra problem is those two people need to get the same bathtub. Have you ever seen that?

It's like, well, just get in the same tub. The plumbing will work, but

you'd have to know the commercial to get my point there. Maybe a United States commercial.

So,

so I've got this. I'm not, I've never been a blackout drinker, right? It was, that was not my drinking career. You do not have to be in order to be an alcoholic. You do not have to be a blackout drinker. You do not have to have lost everything. You don't have to have lived in your car. You don't have to have lost your teeth for alcoholism. Now you can go there and it'll take you there. It's almost a guaranteed ticket. But that was not as far down as I went. So my buddy calls me. I've heard of alcoholic synonymous twice

calls me and he says, hey, Katie, there's a big speaker coming into Austin, TX for an AA convention. And, and I was wondering if I could stay at your house. And keep in mind this guy and I did a, you know, we, we rolled in the hay a lot, right? It was the 80s. It was fairly safe back then. It's not like it is today. And another thing to be grateful for for 24 years. And so he says, I'm bringing a buddy of mine with me and I'm thinking, well, OK, I got this chick staying here, you know, maybe we could hook them up or whatever, whatever. And I said, but listen, I

really want to hear about your a a world. I don't want to hear about anything. I am fine. And it was Halloween weekend and I was Tina Turner was just super hot back then. Remember her in the 80s with the gold hair and the fishnets? And we'll kind of address like this that I have on today. And

she, she was my hero. You know, she was just that strong woman. And so I'm going to be Tina Turner at this party that I'm clearly going to find a man at that is going to save my life because that's what I think is going to fix me.

I know the women completely know what I'm talking about. And you guys, you guys are going. I'll take I'll take the ticket today. That's right, I'll go. I'll go in it today. So I'm getting ready for this party. I Tony Knox on the door. He comes in and he and I'm giving him a hug and I'm looking at his buddy Joe and I'm thinking

cute.

And then all of a sudden, you know, that alcoholic mind, of course, looking back, I'm thinking, great, I'm setting him up with this girl that's staying at my house, you know, and and then, you know, you just spin out of control that alcoholic thinking. That level of self centeredness is shocking to the rest of the world. Shocking. It's shocking to us in a a when we get to watch it right. And so, so I'm giving, you know, Tony a hug and I'm realizing, man, I dig this guy. And so

we end up going and playing together, Tony and I and Joe, and we have a great day. And all of a sudden I realized, my God, you know, I can't drink around them because, you know, they're alcoholic. And I guess, you know, they might grab my beer and that would really be bad. And then I'd be responsible for them drinking.

And I mean, that's, that's what I thought about AAI thought a a was the winos, you know, the, the, the bottom of the bottom of the bottom of the barrel. And so that evening I get ready to go to my party. My hair is gold. It's, you know, God Dang, I look good. And I got a picture of me. I don't keep it out because that's not necessary, but I do have a picture and all my stuff. And and so I'm getting ready to leave and the boys are going to go here. Bobby speak somewhere and, and

my car breaks down because every drunk's car breaks down right,

right before the big moment. It's got to breakdown and it's raining and I get out of my car two blocks away. I walk in the house. I absolutely cannot believe it. It's Halloween weekend. It's in the 80s. Everybody's not really dressing up back then. And I come in and the boys go, well, what happened is, oh, my car broke down and they go out there and they drive, you know, walk two blocks. Look ankle manning. It's not going anywhere. It's like, oh, that's just great, you know? And this is when the drinking was quit working a long time ago. So I'm angry

all the time. You with me? Yeah, yeah, I'm angry all the time. So they said come, come here, Bonnie. Rape man. We're going to go down to Antone's after we hear Bob, blah, blah, blah. Like, oh, yeah, great. I got this party. I'm supposed to meet the man of my dreams. This is all really working out well, So we take my girlfriend with me, who's making out with this Joe guy who I think is incredibly hot, and I'm stuck with my buddy Tony.

Come on, you can go back to that, that that same evening,

yes. So I'm realizing the

it's OK, I can work with anything. So, so they so we go out that night and now keep in mind it's Halloween. I'm dressed like Tina Turner, but nobody at Antone's is in a costume but me. And so I look like a hooker. There's no strong woman happening there, right? I am looking like a hooker

and I am really not having fun. And Joe is making out with this check and I wanted to be the one making out with him. And Tony's bucking me

just on every level.

And, and so as the evening goes on, I end up, you know, we, we go inside, I've gotten some outside issues when no one was looking. I'm drinking, I'm, I'm running the gamut. And I go into the bathroom when we get home, and I sit there and I'm smoking cigarettes and I'm flicking them in the tub because, you know, we are dramatic.

Nobody understands my remaining, you know, Can you imagine what that looks like? Tina Turner at the end of an evening. You know what I mean? I mean, it is not a pretty picture. And nobody comes to knock on the door. Nobody is checking on Katie. And I keep thinking, come on, knock on that.

What

you know, Oh my God. So here comes the thinking. You know how that late night thinking comes either your rapid dial in or your thinking. And I thought, I know what I can do. I'm going to I'm going to suggest I go one of those, one of those AA meetings with them because I they're going to an, a, a meeting tomorrow. That way my girlfriend Robin will not come and I'll have both those boys attention to myself.

I think this is such a great plan. You guys know the late night plan. It's about 4:00 in the morning

and I think what a good idea. So I go in there and I wake Tony up and I go Tony. I think I've got a drinking

and he goes, what?

He looks at me. He goes, let me go get Joe.

I'm going. Oh my God, I could not have written a script any better. This is perfect.

So they're both just asking me questions, you know, and I'm like,

yeah. And, and we, we go for about two hours till about 6:00 in the morning, you know, and, and now keep in mind I'm 26 and they're 28 and 30. Got it. Just young and alive. And, and so we, so that we're going to a meeting, right? Well, I don't really get a much, a lot of sleep because I've got a lot of outside issues happening, right? And I am humming. And so the meeting is at 9:00 AM and I kind of vaguely remember closing my eyes, but, you know, you don't go to sleep

hours, right? And so I think I may have dozed off for 20-30 minutes. And then they go, come on, we're going to the meeting. So I jump up, you know, I get ready, I, you know, which means throw on clothes and you go to the meeting. And I looked at one point at my hair and it was gold. And it was like

bent. And I mean, I was looking bad, bad, bad. You know, I had a lot of makeup on for Tina Turner, a lot of black eye stuff. And it was not pretty. And so I get to that meeting and I am scared to death. I'm thinking on the way over there. It's just such a bad idea.

Bad idea. Bail, bail. And I can't, I can't get out of it, you know? And so I walk in. What what was shocking that day was changed my life, absolutely changed my life. I was not expecting to go to Alcoholics Anonymous. And I walked in. I saw people like you. And the laughter was so appealing. I mean, it was like, it was the most fabulous day I had ever had. And I hadn't had, I hadn't laughed in a long time.

And I'm scared to death. And they said, as anybody new, and, you know, the whole group does this.

And I mean, it was like, wow, they're pretty, pretty insightful.

Ever seen the new guy I saw that looks like their heads going to blow off

and and they they so think no ones looking.

I love the guy who's been up all night who goes in the store and is is not the not the total low bottom drunk. He's kind of,

you know, and you're like, oh, dude.

Oh, the sound of the birds.

Oh, and by the way, the Border Patrol does not like being called Dude.

I heard Charlie call him Dude like three times and I swear he goes. My name is Officer Donkey. I thought, honey stop calling him Dude.

Clearly not digging the dude. And keep your hands out of your pockets.

Oh my God, we have told. See, I am just electrifying up here, am I not? Not sure.

No, thank you. I OK, you're giving me another 20 minutes for all this lighting problem,

so

OK, so

there we go. OK, who's ever touching the button? He says

OK, so I, I come into AA. Well, here's let me Fast forward real quick. You know, that Joe guy that was so cute, we got married.

Yeah. I, I told Charlie, I am such a convincing woman. I am telling you, and it's really works against me a lot of times. But Joe was six years sober and he was Mr. A A He'd come out of the Pacific Group in California. He was, you know, all about service, all about the big book.

And he scooped me up and here I was 10 minutes sober. This is not a good plan for somebody with six years who's working to create a, a program. They're going bad idea. And I'm thinking it is a great idea, great idea. Let's just keep going forth. Come on, we can do this. And so he taught me Alcoholics Anonymous like you wouldn't believe. I mean, he taught me everything I was, I was chairing the Chrysanthemum Conference by two years. I was sponsoring. I was busting my butt through those steps.

I mean, he would read me the big book because once again, you know, I did, I read, but I just didn't comprehend well. And so he would read it, he would explain it. I got a sponsor. I was active in a a I was a year sober. And Charlie, my fiance is, was a part of our litter. He was at a meeting we had started. You know, you get pissed off and you start your own meeting and that's kind of how that deal works. And and you know, you leave the meeting you were at and Charlie comes in, He's got six months over. He's sharing in the back of the room. And I leaned over to Joe and I went,

God, this guy is a riot. We need to get to know him. And Joe's like, let's do it. So we scoop up Charlie and or he scoops us up. I'm not sure. But there was about 10 of us because at least in Texas, young people was not happening. OK, you went into a meetings and they were

there was there was a lot of old crusty old timers and and they and you know, we were the love children

hated the rules and, you know, weren't gonna do the Lulu and now.

I meant, OK, so put on your seat belt. You're gonna be it too. Already. And so we scooped Charlie up and. And here let me date myself. You know, we would have. Charlie was the camp coordinator and we'd have Miami Vice night.

I had a Miami Vice wedding. Oh, yeah. Don Johnson, my husband had the pink jacket with the and the white tennis shoes. You know, I had the hair and Oh my God, it was, it was fabulous. And so here's the journey in Alcoholics Anonymous. I took the laughter in a a was spectacular. There was a woman in Alcoholics Anonymous had a couple of years sober before Joe and I, you know, actually

got together. There was a three-week period. Any of you guys know that that's a tough time for somebody to stay sober, right? This is not where I plan to come. This is not what I plan to do, but I'm going to give it a shot. In order for that guy to pay attention to me, I got to stay sober. Well, if you're an alcoholic like I am, that ain't going to make you stay sober. After Day 1 1/2, I'm getting really itchy thinking this is a bad idea. He's going back to Huntsville, TX and this girl on day one took my phone number. And this is my personal experience.

If you see a new guy in a A, you take their number, give them your number. Odds of them calling you slim, you know, I mean, come on. But why should they have to call you? Because they're ready.

How many of y'all were like couldn't wait to pick up the phone and call a stranger? Hey man, Yeah, listen, I'm drinking in about 8 minutes.

Or you're already drinking and you're lying. And so you know, and so this chick called me like crazy. I'm a, I'm a big fan of that. I'm a big fan of a lot of things. I'm a big fan of the next time you go to your, your, your a, a meeting that you've been going to forever, you look for that one person who's sitting all by their self. I prefer the boys stick with the boys and the girls stick with the girls.