The 42nd Annual New Hampshire Convention in North Conway, NH

My name is Chuck Hartley and I'm an alcoholic. Hi everybody, thanks to God a A and sponsorship I've been sober since December 16th, 1988. I have a home a Home group I go to the Foxhall group meets every Wednesday and Cary NC 8 O clock. You know over there. My numbers in the book it's not under Chuck H, it's under Chuck Hartley. Can't find Chuck H in the phone book.

I have a sponsor, he has a sponsor. I sponsor other men

so I reckon that makes me a member in good standing and Alcoholics Anonymous.

Before I get going, I need to thank a few people,

Danielle and her committee especially. They did a wonderful job this weekend. They really did. It's This is a great conference. I

like, like Mary said, she's very grateful, and so am I, that we don't have those silly speaker ribbons hanging from our name tags all weekend long. I got to participate in this conference in relative anonymity, except when I spoke and somebody would say, you're not from around here, are you?

I don't know what gave me away,

and that's always nice too, to be able to just be one of many when when you come to a function like this, and I was able to do that this weekend and I appreciate it. I had a great time.

A fellow that brought me down here told me I didn't have to mention him. So Dave Rio brought me down here.

He's a good man, he said. He said he only uses his last name when he's being a service and, and trust me folks, he put up with me all weekend long. He was definitely a service

and he brought his buddy Rick with him and and Rick and I clicked and got along. So that's if any of y'all know Rick, you know that I'm not really in my right mind

because when I get along with the fellow like Rick, it just tells me more about myself.

I'm probably about as crazy as I've ever been and and I'm really enjoying myself. You know, I'm just a,

if any of y'all were at the 11 step workshop yesterday, you heard me say I'm just a scatterbrain kind of a drunk. I, I'm, my brain is always going in a million different directions and it's telling me to do a million different things. And I really need God's help just to get through any given moment, any given day. And, you know, I, I think they, they call that ADD and, and I've always, you know, I've always had that, you know,

and coupled with the alcoholism, you know, it's like, you know,

it's like being supercharged. And,

and I needed, I needed Ritalin when I was a little kid, but they didn't have Ritalin that they had paddling. And

so

so I got a huge dose of that.

It didn't calm me down, but it did teach me good manners.

And yeah, I was just a squirrely kid, you know, just one of those kids that needed a sponsor in kindergarten.

I, I mean, any of y'all with me, I just needed somebody I could call that would say, oh for God sakes, Chuck, eat the cookies, drink the milk and take the nap.

I've just always needed some direction like that

and probably needed a drink

and I hung in there. I was a late bloomer. I I white knuckled it till I was 12 and

by the time I was 12 I needed a drink. And there were a lot of people that would have agreed with that. And I had access to a lot of liquor cause neither one of my parents drank. But my father was a, was a personnel director at a fairly large factory where I grew up.

And back in that days you didn't get a nice big bonus check. I just read about this Exxon character got like $20 million bonus check. I wish they would gave some of that to my dad, but they didn't. They gave him a nice bottle of liquor, but he didn't drank. So he he put it down the basement and

he had that job probably 20 years before I started drinking. So I had a liquor store down there

and by the time I was 12 I needed a drink so I knew where to go get one. I didn't know what to get so I just took the prettiest bottle he had and when called a couple of buddies of mine and we went out in the woods.

Should have came a A the next day. Never really did get any better.

It would pop the top on that liquor bottle and and threw the cap away. I was telling somebody last night, I don't know why they invented caps. Alcoholics sure don't need it. We just need a cork, you know, uncork it, throw it away, start drinking. I never recapped anything. I was 12 years old, had a bottle of liquor. I didn't recap it. I took a big drink and I gave it to my buddy and he took a big drink and passed to the other guy and he took a big drink and got back to me.

Now I'm not an alcoholic that likes to share and when it got back to me it was about half gone. I knew I wasn't going to get a whole lot more of it, so I drank the rest straight down.

It was Seagram's Extra Dry Gin.

It came in a pretty bottle. That's all I knew. So I drank it. Terrible stuff made me sick and I I swore I'd never drink it again. That was 40 years ago. I've never drank Seagram's extra dry gin again,

but I drank some that night and I drank it straight down. And what happened to me then happened to me a lot when it when I was drinking, I drank as much as I could for as long as I could. I got drunk and it felt pretty good and I told some good jokes and I staggered around and I had a decent time

for about 20 minutes. Then I went into a blackout and I'm a blackout drinker and I don't, I don't know why, but I am probably God sparing me the the memory of some of the things that I like to do when I drink. But I went into a blackout and insulted my buddies and they beat me up and took me home, set me on the front porch, rang the doorbell and ran away the carrots. My parents came out, found their son in a lump on the front porch, drugged me in, let me pass out on the living room floor.

Several hours later I came too. Someone had thrown up on me.

I took myself up to my room, passed out again there, and when I came to the next morning, that same person had gone to work on me.

I had a mess to clean up. Felt terrible. Couldn't wait to do it again. Because I'll tell you all what that little bit of time between when that liquor hit bottom and I blacked out, I became a part of the world like I'd never become a part of the world before. See, up until then, I had a real good outside going. You know, my dad was a professional man. He took real good care of us kids. He didn't gamble. He said good example he did. He quit smoking to set an example for his kids. He never took a drink. He never beat anybody in

my mom as kids. Nobody.

He took his own family vacations. He he never called off sick from work. He was just a really good guy. I thought he was a square, but he was a really good man, set a good example for his children and took good care of us. And as a result of that, you know, I was found myself participating in Boy Scouts and I was doing all right there and they took me to school and I did OK there. And, and I had some sort of a music talent and I like to sing and I was good at it. And I did. I really did really well

there. I played a lot of sports. I was never a star, but I always started, you know, just to, you know, kind of like that all American, Norman Rockwell kind of family on the outside. On the inside, I knew I was in the wrong house. My brain told me on a consistent basis, you do not belong here with these nice people.

You're absolutely worthless. You're stupid, you're ugly, you don't know what to do or how to do it, and nobody's ever going to show you. You've missed the boat, son. You might as well be dead.

And that's the way my brain thought 24 hours a day. And no matter when I came to, that's what my brain was telling me.

I come to today and they and I wake up today. I'm going to, I wake up today and they're still there. But now they go, oh, thank God you're here.

We've been talking.

I need some guidance and direction and but that's what my brain was telling me. And when I took that, when I took that drink of liquor, those voices quieted down and I not only was OK, I was exceptional. And you folks were lucky to be in my presence.

You didn't know what you'd been missing all these years.

My life changed right then and there.

And a basement full liquor.

It was 1968. There are a lot of I grew up in Cincinnati, OH. Everybody here thinks I'm from the South. Well, maybe Ohio from up here is South, but

I moved to North Carolina about five years ago and already had an accent and they just worsened it. And

I went to a a a a big inner city school in Cincinnati, OH. There were 5 or 6000 students at this high school and it was an inner city school is about 85% black.

There were armed national guardsmen walk in the hallways of my high school. It was really not a real safe place to be for a little tiny 7th grader like myself that like to drink liquor and and run his mouth.

And so I stopped going. And they didn't have computers in 1968, at least not in high schools, not in the ones I went to. And with class sizes over 100, teachers didn't know whether you were there or not. They didn't take attendance if you didn't show off in class, either by being real smart or real not smart.

The teachers didn't know you were there and they didn't have time to bother with finding out whether you were there or not. So you just got to see.

And by the time somebody found out I hadn't been to school in a while, I was a rising junior.

I'm a child of the 60s and 70s. There are a lot of outside issues in my story, but I'm not here because outside issues. I'm here because I drink like a pig. And once I start drinking like a pig, I have absolutely no idea what's going to happen to me. I just did what was in front of me, that's all. And because of the time that I grew up, there are a lot of outside issues in my story.

I would say that they got me here quicker but I don't see how.

I didn't get here till I was 32 and I was tired.

So my life just went like that. I didn't go to school. I stole. I stole from my parents. I stole from other people. I drank everyday. You know, never one of those drunks that had a convulsion about drinking before noon, you know, I mean, I had to go back home at 3:00. Why wouldn't the morning drink be OK? And I had a lot of drinking to do by 3:00

and that, and that's what I did. I grew up pretty fast, by the time I was 15 years old

I couldn't live with my parents because they had rules that they wanted to be followed like in normal household would. But I was a self will run riot little alcoholic and I knew better than they did. So, you know, I just took off and got a hold of a fake ID and started working in some construction and make a little money doing their worst jobs

someone on a construction crew can do. And I started drinking with those men

and I'd go over and drink in this bar and one night I drinking in this bar on this fake ID and a fellow came in there and started giving the bartender. Hard way to go. Now folks. I knew I had a good fake ID for that old half drunk bartender, but if the police came it probably wasn't going to pass mustard. So I took care of that guy and convinced him he didn't want to be drinking in my bar where we didn't need his kind girls in trouble. And he left and the bartender was grateful. Turned out to be the owner of the bar.

He asked me if I had a job and I really wasn't working much then I said no. He asked me if I had place today. I said no. And he said I got a room in the back here and I need my place cleaned up because I'm too old to clean it. You want the job

and I said sure, I'll take it. He said good. There's one other perk that comes along with that. I said, what is it? He says a bar tab. Now if they don't run bar tabs up here, let me explain what one is.

That's a 15 year old with a credit card. What it is,

you drink all week for free and then you settle up Friday

and there are a lot of other bills that never got paid, but my Barte have always got paid.

And I had arrived.

We were just starting to date then me and my buddies and they're taking their little girlfriends down the 20th century movie theater and they'd see a movie. Then they'd go over to 62nd Hamburger Joint and get them hamburger and a little soda pop. And if they're lucky, they got to hold the girl's hand and maybe kiss her when they took her home.

I asked him out, took him Lonnie's Lounge,

put it on my tab.

As a result of that, you all had a lot of work cut out for you when I got here because that's how I measured relationships. They came to Lonnie Lounge with me, they got a plus mark. If they went home with me from there, they got another plus mark and if they stayed two days, we were in a relationship.

That's how things went

when I turned 18. My father gave me a job in this factory and I went to work there and it was more money than an alcoholic like me had any right to have. And so I went out and bought me a little car and I didn't have to worry about stealing my booze anymore. So I start drinking whiskey by the half gallon and I'm drinking and driving and drinking and driving. And one night I drove my car into the back of another car and got DUI.

It was an election year

and the judge wanted to make an impression on the fine people Hamilton County and show him how he dealt with drunk drivers. Even though it was a first offense, he said I'll give you an option. You can go, you can join the army or you can go to jail for a year. I thought that was a little harsh, but I did then what I do now. I went and talked to the old timers

because you know, 1974,

they still had a war going on and they said it was winding down, but you couldn't prove it by the body bags coming home. Those of you all of my age or older,

and you know, in my neighborhood, the kids grew up kind of rough and pretty much they did two things. They either went to Vietnam or they went to the penitentiary. Every one of the kids that I grew up with, they went to the penitentiary, came home. And not every one of the kids I grew up with, they went to Vietnam, came home. So I went down to the bar and talked to the old timers

and they said, look dummy.

That's kind of a theme throughout my life. Look dummy, we think you should join the Army. I said, why? They said, well, jails, no fun for one. And for the second, in the Army, they'll let you drink and they'll pay for it.

So armed with that information, I stood up and did my patriotic duty and joined the military.

Now, lest y'all think I was just some drunken draft Dodger that just fell into that deal, I tried to enlist many times before that, but I couldn't pass the physical.

You drink liquor the way we drank liquor. Sometimes you get too much sugar. And they knew what that meant. They were scratching their head that a 17 year old kid had sugar like that, but they told me they didn't. They didn't need me. But with the Judge Co signing, I went into the Army. Now, I'd love to regale y'all with a lot of fine military stories. I hear them all the time. But I'm a blackout drinker.

They sent me to Germany, and there's two things I can tell you about Germany. They got the best beer I ever drank

and they got some really good outside issues.

So I drank a lot of beer, smoked a lot of outside issues, and came home.

This factory where I've been working before I joined the military had taken off in the two years that I was gone. That business was booming. And my dad hired me back. And I was making twice the money I was making before I joined the military. And you know, the only, the only thing worse than a drunk with bad fortune is a drunk with good fortune.

And having daddy is a personnel manager was not a real good fortune for me 'cause I used it like a club over every supervisor I ever had.

Come and win as I pleased and more days and not showed up drunk to work. And when I didn't show up drunk to work, I got drunk wise at work. And I love to drink liquor and I was 21 years old and I needed a quote. I needed a nice car to go along with that nice money I was making. So I bought a new Corvette. It was winter time. We had a winter that that year of 767778 like y'all just had here. Not quite as much snow, but very brutal for the area of the country that we were in. You know, there's

a foot of snow on the ground. It was always below 0 and it was just a nasty winter

and I took that Corvette and

and half gallons of Jack Daniels and a bunch of outside issues and took the T tops off and start driving around.

When you take outside issues and drink liquor out 1/2 gallon and take tea tops off, it's still a little warm. So you put on your flip flops and your shorts and your T-shirt and your sunglasses and you're driving around like that. And I'm wondering why I'm collecting these DUI.

I keep getting Duis and going to jail and get out of jail and go back to work and finally I'd had enough of that and I knew Ohio was my problem. I took off from California.

I went to California three times. I got a buddy back in Ohio that says they should just put a sign on the borders of California, Arizona, and Florida that says this state doesn't work either.

About 3/4 of us could just come back home,

but I missed the sign and I went to California three different times. I went three different times. We took three different routes to get there, took three different modes of transportation. Every time we get we went went to three different parts of California and every time I got there, there I was.

And you know, the Army did not teach me any skills and I wasn't willing to learn anyway. I was pretty unteachable back then. And so I got out to California with my 6th grade education, my alcoholism, and my daddy being a personnel director in Cincinnati. And I didn't get real good jobs.

So I'd go back home with my tail between my legs and Dad would hook me up with another job and next thing you know, I had a little car. And next thing you know, I had a little liquor. Next thing I had DUI

and there I'd be.

And one day my mother came to me and she said we need to talk. I said, OK, mom, let's talk. She said, you know, your father's been pretty sick lately. And I, yeah, I didn't know that. You know, my father had to retire when he was 59 years old. He had a series of heart attacks and open heart surgeries that would have killed a lesser man. I think he had three open heart surgeries, 15 bypasses. And back in them days, they were still cracking your chest.

He is a tough man and he endured all of that. But at 59, he had to retire.

And she said it's always been your father dream. My father lived in upstate New York, little town called Dunkirk. And he had they had winners like y'all have winners. And he did not like winter. And she said it's always been his dream to retire to Florida. I've lived in Florida. I don't know why he dreamed like that,

but anyway, that was his dream. And she said we're going to move to Florida. And I said that's great, mom. And she said, I want you to do me one favor.

I said, OK, what do you need, mom? She said don't ever come to Florida.

See, because my parents were always my refuge

and my parents did not have the benefit of al Anon and and so every time I came home sick and in need, they take me in and clean me up and love me back to health, almost love me to death. They love me so much.

But I promised her I wouldn't come to to Florida, and off they went.

And

so they went down there and I did pretty good for a couple of months. And one day I was driving around and I was drunk. I wasn't new. And I went into a blackout. And that wasn't new. When I came to, I was surrounded by a lot of police. Now, I've done things drunk in blackouts before, you know, two or three cows. There were about a dozen police officers.

I had ran my car into the back of a Mercedes-Benz.

My problem was Mercedes-Benz was a graduation present local police captain had just bought for his daughter.

If y'all ever want to see police in a hurry, do something crazy like that. They were everywhere and I was getting charged with everything under the book. That was my ninth DUI.

Well, you know,

I used to drink a lot.

I get itchy feet when I drink.

I just have to share myself with y'all.

It was my 9th. When you got 90, you guys, you don't have driver license, so I got driving under suspension. And when you got 90 UIS and no driver's license, nobody will give you insurance. So you're driving without insurance,

and when you got 90 guys, you're on probation. So you got a probation violation.

And then they started, you know, hitting me with all the stuff that you get when you when you ran into a police captain's daughter's car, you know, left the center spitting on the sidewalk, fleeing and eluding, you know,

other sort of things. And they took me to jail. And

in Ohio, if you're arrested on a probation violation, there's no bail. So I just sat in jail, you know, waiting my turn to stand in front of the judge so I can go to the penitentiary and do my bit and be done and, you know, get back to whatever little life I had going on.

But somebody made a mistake, put me on the bond board for $100.

So I called my youngest brother.

I have 3 alcoholic brothers. My mother had five children, two died when they were little children and the other three of us are Alcoholics and I'm not calling them out of their name. I have a brother that's over a year and another brother that's been sober before and decided he needed to add to his lead. So

those kind of children my parents were blessed with and they tried their best to keep us out of the penitentiary and they did real good with me and Bill, but they didn't do the two oldest, but the youngest one, he had to go to jail a lot because they ran out of money.

And

so as a result of that, when John needed some things, they always tried to help him out with that as we got older. And so I told John, call mom, dad and tell him some sob story. I don't care what you tell him, but get 100 bucks so I can get out of jail. Well, he called him and he sobbed real good. And they sent him 200 bucks and he came and got me out of jail and handed me the other 100 bucks and said I'll see you. I said, hold on, where are you going? He said I'm going home. I said, yeah, take me with you. He said, well, I can't do that. I said, why not? He said my wife hates you.

I said well

that's that's fine, I'm not very fond of your wife either. I said. I said take me to Bills house. He said well I was talking to Bill before I came down here and Bill said you can't go to his house neither. I said why not? Well, Bill said him and his wife hate you.

Hey all, that's where alcoholism had taken me. My parents didn't want me in Florida. My brothers didn't want me in their home. My mother is the youngest of ten children

and she's the youngest by 7 years. Number #9 is 7 years older than my mother. The five children that my mother had were the least amount of children that those ten children had.

I got third cousins older than me.

I got first cousins older than my parents.

Last time we had a family reunion we had to run an amusement park.

As there are over 1000 of us.

I wasn't welcoming any of their homes.

I don't know if I mentioned this or not, but I was a thief long before I was drunk. If you left it untended, I took it.

I also forgot to mention I'm a bad thief. I get caught

and you know, if I steal from one of y'all, if I steal from Rick, Rick doesn't know me. Rick's going to shoot me if he catches me more than likely, or at least hold me down and call the police. If I steal from my cousin Skip, he's just going to beat me up and kick me out on the front lawn and tell me I can't come to his house anymore. And you know when you got as many cousins as I do, you can just steal from them.

I wasn't welcoming any of their homes, y'all? None of their homes.

So I took that $100 from my brother and did what I usually do when I had money like that. I bought a bottle of liquor and a bus ticket to Florida.

Oh yeah, the next day I was knocking on moms door and just like moms do, she took me in and cleaned me up. My dad was nothing too happy, but there I was and

he got me a job. I don't know how he did it. My dad could always get me a job

and I went to work and I couldn't keep it very long because my drinking is winding down. I was down and I was in Florida a couple years and my father passed away and he wanted to be buried back in Ohio. So we took him to Ohio. And my mother had just lost her best friend of 35 years and she really couldn't do a whole lot for herself. And she was leaning on her oldest son. And we expected me to do a lot of things for her, but I couldn't because all I could do by then was drank. And

so much, we put my father in the ground with no help from me at all. But you know, one of those fellas that I took a drink with that first time back when I was 12 years old was, was in a a he'd just gotten sober and he stepped up for me and my family. And he did for my mother what I couldn't do for.

And he never once talked to me about his drinking. He talked to me about his drinking. I knew about his drinking. I was glad that he was in a, a he needed to be somewhere where he didn't drink.

They had a light in his eye and he was of service to me and my family. And when all was said and done, I did not get sober and I did not ask him any questions. I, I said good for you and I'll see you. And I went back down to Florida and started drinking again. Wasn't down there long. And my mother needed me to go to Ohio and sell some property for and I, I went up and I sold this piece of property for more money than she asked for. And like a good son, I sent her her share and I kept the rest and stayed in Ohio.

And

that was the last bit of money that that. I mean, I didn't even earn that, but at least

you know I'd had something to do with it. But that was it for me and work

and

when that money was through, so was I. I, I'd been homeless for for a while if if I didn't stay at my mother's place, I was homeless and with her in Florida and me in Ohio. I was homeless for a couple of years before I got sober. And I stand in a, an abandoned hobo shack on the little Miami River in Ohio. I never want to forget that place. It was 4 walls and a tarp, paper roof and a dirt floor with a hole in the metal so you can go to the bathroom. Everyone no water, there wasn't no electric, there was no lights. There wasn't anything in this in this place. Just me and the other drunken hobos

and has drinking cheap vodka

and I wasn't sleeping anymore. I was just drinking till I passed down. While I was passed out, I'd go into the DTS and they jerked me awake and I'd crawl over in the corner and drink some more out of that vodka bottle until I pass out

and that was my life.

When I ran out of vodka, I'd go down to the store and Hulk over whatever port clerk was working there and and steal from them

and I'd go back to the riverbank, do it all over again.

And one day I came up off of that riverbank and had a little bit of change in my pocket. So I started heading to this bar that I like drinking. It really wasn't a bar. It was it was more of a knife and gun club and

people died in this bar. It wasn't been a real nice. It was in a bad section of the bad section of town

and I went to this bar to drink

and as I was walking towards that bar I had this overwhelming feeling that today was going to be the day that I died.

Because y'all, I like to run my mouth when I get drunk and I knew it. I just couldn't stop myself.

And

just like I was a very good thief, I wasn't a very good fighter either. And other these teeth are mine. They're all store store bought

and I wasn't real physically healthy anyway. I'd been cut out of a couple of cars and

and I've been shot at and stabbed and beaten half death and

just wasn't feeling real good. And I knew it was my day.

But little tiny voice inside of me said, you know, we don't want to die.

Why don't you call this Greg guy and see if he's still sober?

So I called Greg,

and Greg came down here and took a look at his lifelong friend and burst into tears and I knew I was in trouble then. Boy

drank like I drank

and

in a men just didn't cry. Where we grew up anyway,

and he took me to his house

and I weighed 307 lbs. When he took me to his house, my blood pressure was so high I couldn't wear ties. I had to wear slip on shoes because I'd pass out if I'd been over to tile

and I didn't have any teeth. Three or four

and I didn't bathe. I can't told you. Last time I bathed, my hair was long and stringing. My beard was long and stringy. I'd stop going to school in the 6th grade. Between all the liquor and the outside issues, I couldn't read, I couldn't write, I couldn't do basic math,

I couldn't even sleep. And Greg took me into his house and rocked me to sleep,

and he laid me on his couch and him and his family nursed me back to health. His wife filled me. Somebody told this poor woman that Alcoholics like sugar.

This poor woman shoves so much sugar. Down my thread I was drinking orange juice, orange juice with sugar, orange juice with carrot syrup and and soda pop,

chocolate anything with sugar in it and this guy was giving it to me. I

I have diabetes today. I call Edie up on a regular basis, you know, just to mess with her like I did. Danielle, I go Edie, you know it's your fault. I'm taking this medication for diabetes. I didn't eat no sugar till I met you.

We have fun

and his children were on winter break

and they kind of liked having a immovable object on their couch.

They were 12 and 10, two little girls when I got sober and, and he, you know, 12 and 10 year old girls are learning how to do things. You know, they're like, like makeup.

And they had a dummy

laid out on the couch

and they practiced and put makeup on me.

I'd come too

start sharing the language of the street with those two beautiful children.

They didn't know what I was talking about, but they knew it wasn't any good.

Them gals are. Those two guys thought it was funny that a grown man couldn't read. So they made it their mission to teach me.

And they teach me how to read. And when I was passed out, they'd make me look like Bozo the Clown. When I share the language of the street with them, they'd say, you know, we don't know what you're talking about, but we know it's not any good. So you need to stop that. And if you don't, we're going to tell our daddy and he'll beat you up.

And you know, I was feeling kind of puny, so I knew Greg could get the job done. So I got to win twice with God, working through two beautiful children. I got to learn how to read again and I got to learn how to clean up my mouth.

And Greg would take me to meetings

and, you know, there's a, a movement on, I think, in a, a for easier, gentler, softer kind of way.

Somebody didn't tell Greg Debt because he'd come home from work

and I'd say how you doing, brother? And he'd say get in the car

and I said, where are we going? And he said, don't worry about it. I've checked your calendar. There's absolutely nothing on it.

Now get in the car.

Yeah,

I go get in the car and he take me to an AA meeting.

First time he took me to an A A meeting. A fellow stood up and said thanks for two years sober, and I stood up right behind him, said you're a liar.

Nobody stays over that long.

They had a Wildman on their hands.

Greg by Greg was living in the suburbs when he came and rescued me. Those poor folks didn't have any idea that they'd never seen someone like me before. I like something they'd go to the zoo and look at.

Look honey, a real life St. urgent.

And I wandered away from Greg one day and stumbled into a discussion meeting, and there I sat on attendant. So I stood up to share my experience, strength and hope with you

by three days.

And an old timer stood up and he said, boy,

you need to shut up and sit down.

And

my ego wouldn't let me do that. So I said, old man, you need to go to the street and I'm going to throw you out the window there and take bets on how many times you bounce before you hit. And I went to go get him and y'all gang tackled me.

I couldn't believe it. There I was and a meat Alcoholics Anonymous getting gang tackled

and I'm yelling and screaming and cursing and thrashing around and trying to bite people. If I had teeth, I'd have left some marks.

And here's this old man standing off to the side, laughing at me, going, going. Keep coming back, boy.

It's funny now. It wasn't funny then. But I tell you, tell you what, What did register with me was me acting a fool

and hearing somebody telling me it's OK to keep coming back.

They didn't stand me up and say you got to go.

We don't allow your kind in here. You come back when you can act better.

Nah, they just said once you once you take the cotton out of your ear, stick it in your mouth, sit down here and and take a listen to what we got to offer. Is it What do you got to lose? We can look at you until 1988 wasn't a real good year.

So I did just that.

I heard a lot of talk about sponsorship.

I wouldn't understand any of it. So I went to Greg and I said, how about what about this sponsorship? He said you don't have to worry about that. I said, why not? He said I'm your sponsor,

I said. Now, I've been listening and these folks say that they asked people to be their sponsor.

And he said, well, Chuck, let me tell you a little something. After your first meeting there, we took a vote on who'd be your sponsor

and I lost.

So my buddy Greg took me through the steps.

And are you powerless over alcohol, Chuck? I said. I don't know.

And he'd say when you take a drink can you go home? I said sometimes. He said when you take 2 drinks can you go home? And I said sometimes. And I can tell he was starting to get irritated with me so I finished up for him. I said Greg, if I take 3 drinks I cannot tell you what state I'll finish up in. He said that's good enough.

He said, is your life unmanageable? He said hold on a second. You're sleeping on my couch.

You've taken step one, dummy. Congratulations.

Now let me tell you about step two. He said you better hope there's a power greater than you that can restore you to sanity because you are the craziest cat I've ever met my whole life. If anybody needed restoring the Sandy Chuck Hartley, it is you. Well, I couldn't really argue with him on that point. And then he said, congratulations, dummy. You've completed Step 2. Now get on your knees

and I said, Greg, we've been friends for a long time.

I was kind of raw, you know?

I,

he said. No, dummy, we're gonna pray

now. I'll tell you all something. I wasn't real keen on this praying stuff, you know, because I was brought up to go to church and, you know, they explained to me all this stuff about God. And all the deacons of the church talked to me about God and what a Sinner I was and how I better get with their programs that I can get saved. And then I start drinking and I start carousing the streets at night. And what do you know, I see these deacons sneaking out of the back of the bar around 2:00 AM with women that weren't their wives,