The Superior Group in Cleveland, OH

Alex Anonymous of fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others recover from alcoholism. Our lead tonight is Nancy Wilson. She's a member of the Superior group. And I know this about Nancy. She knows how to stay sober and she knows how to stay sober because she helps drunks. And that's what I it's all about one alcoholic cup and another alcoholic. It's all yours dancing. Thanks for keeping it simple Martin.

Hi, my name is Nancy Wilson. I am now called. Could you please help me get this started?

Strange her. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdoms know the difference.

You know, I suppose I feel extra. I don't know if I want to say nervous, but this is the meeting that means the most to me because it's my Home group. So naturally, if it means the most to me, I want to give back to you because you all have been kind and loving and

some of you people in here know me. You've known me since my beginnings, you know, You've known me since February 15th of 1990 when I stumbled into these meetings and I didn't know how to live, you know, I didn't know how to live sober. I didn't know how, I didn't know much, you know. So I just want to say thank you to those that have been there and those that will be there. My data sobriety is February 15th, 1990. My Home group is a superior group. My sponsor's name is Beth Fallon. And those are three very important things.

You know, you don't have a sponsor, you're still listening to the same person that got you drunk. You don't have a sobriety date. Well, then you're not sober. You don't have a Home group and you're homeless. You know where you going to go? A Home group is where you can go, where you're comfortable, where you can show up. I mean, that's half the battle is showing up. You know, showing up. We can all decide to do a lot of things. Until we actually do it, we don't do it.

So anyway, my journey, you know, and it's important that I qualify myself

because that might be the only thing some of you understand. You know, there's the drinking. But I want to remind you that it's not all the drama that gets us here to surrender to a new way of life. It's that inside pain. That's the bottom line of all this is the inside pain that we all know so well that finally boom gets us to surrender. So my life,

hey, I was born in New Jersey. I live in Pennsylvania, Connecticut, Rhode Island. I'm from the East Coast. I'm the oldest and I'm the only girl,

so that should tell you something. It sounds like I moved around a lot and I was the oldest and the only girl. So that I, I, I, me, me, me stuff started way before I picked up that first drink. I always had my own things. I always had my own room. The I, I, I stuff, which is the root of our disease, began in me way before I picked up that first drink. Because our big book teaches us that we have a thinking problem

way before we ingest that stuff called alcohol. OK,

so this little all American family that I was born into, we had everything. I had everything I ever needed from them. But everything I ever needed, it wasn't always what I wanted, you know? And I figured my little life would work out like everyone's around me. I figured I'd go to high school and graduate, then I'd go to college and graduate. I figured I'd meet a great guy, get a great job, get married, have kids, live happily ever after. You know, why wouldn't that happen to me?

But it didn't happen to me and who knows if it ever will happen to me,

but I took a drink and the drink took me and my dad drank alcohol and so did my mom and was around my family and I knew it was something special because number one, I wasn't legally allowed to drink it. I was allowed to drink milk and water and soda, but not to stuff called alcohol. So I I put it way up on the plateau thinking, wow, I want to try this stuff because the adults like it and they seem to always be having fun.

As a young kid, I had a few sips in my dad's beer. I didn't really like it. It was kind of fizzy, but I knew they were getting something from this stuff called alcohol.

And what's my favorite paragraph in the big book, the one in the doctor's opinion that says men and women essentially drink because they like the effect produced by alcohol. And I wanted something from this stuff. So when I was about 13 years old, maybe I was 14, I called with my best friend Mary, Come on over. We're going to drink this stuff called alcohol. My parents were out. We had a dry sink full of booze. So I mixed up the famous screwdriver. For those of you that don't remember, it's not a tool, although it is,

but it's orange juice and vodka, and I remember I slammed down three of them. I just sat there waiting for something to happen. I wanted effects. I wanted from,

I wanted to get something from this magical stuff call alcohol, but nothing was happening fast enough for a person like me.

So I ran 3 laps around my parents house to speed up the effects of alcohol on my physical body and it worked. I got real drunk. The first time I set out to get drunk. I acted real silly. I love the effect produced by alcohol, you know, sure I blacked out and I threw up, but I was having fun, you know, the consequences weren't too high back then. The inside pain was definitely not there. I had a lot of fun that first time and I proceeded on my journey of alcoholism after that first fun time. And

that was the experience. I always wanted to feel that fun. You know, we love that happy go lucky fun, drunken wastedness. That's what I loved. So my little life did go on. I went to high school, I graduated, I went to college. I was afforded the great opportunity to go to college, but it was clearly in college that my family, not me, they could see I wasn't doing what you're supposed to do there. What are you supposed to do in college? I believe you're there to get educated, right? Why was there at a party and have fun and get by, but it wasn't

out that way. I was getting A's naturally in tennis but FS in biology. So you can see where my mind was. And I joined a sorority that partied a lot. I just partied and had fun and the education didn't naturally just happen. So after 2 1/2 years, my parents yanked me out of school and this is what began what we call the three inning ballplayer, which means you start something, you don't finish it. I had a very nonchalant, Oh well type of attitude. Something better will happen. I was like this leaf

around whatever, just not caring. I didn't care too much about anything except having fun. And I thought my little life would just develop around me. But it wasn't, you know, I I was being led by the dictates of my disease, although I didn't know what I didn't know back then.

So I tried living in my parents house, but that was a disaster. That was a disaster. They would have given me anything and everything I wanted, but I wanted to drink and have fun and take their car at night and not come home and park across the road and not remember driving. And it was just chaotic, you know, I was the tornado roaring through my family's life. I didn't care, you know, I really didn't care. That's pretty sad, isn't it? Didn't care. Cunning, baffling and powerful, this disease.

So I came home one Saturday morning and my mom called me a few choice terms that no lady, which I certainly wasn't, would want to be called.

So instead of working things out and communicating, I just turned my back on my family and left.

That was my way of figuring things out and I tried living in town. I got a little job as a bartender. You know what a great job for an alcoholic, a bartender. And this job that I had, we were allowed to drink while we were working. I mean, I had a lot of wasted nights in that bar. Just I was the type of bartender. If your drink really cost $1.50 I tell you 3 bucks in pocket to change.

A liar is a cheater is a thief and I was all three. The bartender before me was found dead in the river.

We had everything illegal, immoral, illicit going on. I fit in perfectly. Perfectly. But you know that hole in my soul, I, I knew I was going down, but I didn't know what to do. You know, I, I knew my wife wasn't working how I had planned it, but I didn't know how to get out of this. So as usual, I looked around me, you know, people, places and things could help me get better, live the kind of life I wanted.

So I decided I'd go check out the military.

And I had grown up in a little Navy town in Rhode Island. So I went to check out the Navy, you know. But alas, all those recruiters were at lunch. How unusual. So this Marine Corps recruiter came up to me, started talking. Eight days later, I was at Parris Island. That was my quick fix. I joined the most disciplined branch of the United States military that you could possibly join. So I was in the Marine Corps for almost six years. You know, people say, why did you do that? Well, it was like, why not? You know, it was my way out.

So that's what I did for almost six years. And it was in the Marine Corps where I got in all my trouble on my, on paper, this is really happening trouble. You know, thank God it didn't happen in the civilian world, but it was clearly happening. And things to me were happening. The consequences were beginning, meaning I would get demoted in rank. I would get busted for things like drunken disorderly, disrespect me. Well, if it was Christmas Eve and you were in Okinawa, Japan, wouldn't you drink? You know, I always had reasons for everything that I was doing.

If you were the pitcher on a softball team, wouldn't you drink a few beers to loosen up before you pitch the game?

And those are the kinds of things I did. And in Japan, you drive on the opposite side of the street and the opposite side of the seat. Here's a stick shift. And I was wasted one night after a game, and I got pulled over. And to make a Long story short, the Japanese are very technically advanced, as we all know, right? They put a wand in my car that never touched me, that told them what my blood alcohol content was. And to make a Long story short, I was turned over to the my base, my military base,

and they gave me my first who me test. You know, it's that little piece of paper with red writing. It says who me with all these questions. And I always say this in my lead, 'cause it's pertinent to me. It's important. And I remembered it. One of the questions in there is if you ever know, how many blackouts do you have per month, you know, and, and I used to drink this beer that said extra strong. It was called Red Horse and it was brewed in the Philippines. Sometimes now I'll drink Red Bull and by mistake I call it Red Horse and nobody knows what I'm talking about.

I drank this beer called Red Horse Extra Strong in the Philippines and I used to call it blackout beer because I could achieve the way I wanted to feel drinking three of these potent beers and I loved it. So how many blackouts do you have per month? Well, a month has about what, 30 days? I drank every day. I did not remember stuff, you know, 3-4, ten times per night. So if you multiply 3 to four to 10 times per night times 30, that's a pretty big 3 digit figure, right, Of how many blackouts per month,

mathematicians? So I said, oh, I had 18 blackouts per month. And this little squirrely staff Sergeant thought that was the most he ever heard of. And I thought to myself, who have you been talking to? I mean, I really minimize my drinking extremely a lot. And he told me that I had to be on an abuse and I had to go to level 1 alcohol awareness class and all these things I had to do,

I didn't want to do any of it. You know, I wanted to continue my partying and having fun,

but I got caught, you see, so I had to do things their way or get kicked out of the Marine Corps. I pretty much thought I didn't want to take the stuff called an abuse. This was 1985, Okinawa, Japan, that this stuff happens. And this one man, you know how we say this is a program of attraction? This one drunken staff Sergeant came back from Level 3, which was inpatient treatment, and the only thing I knew about him was that he looked better. We clean up real well in the beginning, don't we? We clean up real well. We look better.

And he said sensible things to me, like, well, you're not supposed to drink, so why not take antibiotics? So I grudgingly took the antibiotics and I went to my first meeting, the first meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. It was probably in October of 1985 in Okinawa, Japan. And I want to always remember this because I hope this is something you don't do. I walked into this meeting. It was in a little Quonset Hut with all these older men of higher rank.

And immediately in my head, I compared myself right out the door.

What do these men of higher rank have in common with me? I was as young Pfc for the third time, Marine woman, you know, I compared myself right out of the doors. So look around this room. We may look different on the outside. We're all screaming with this disease on our insides. OK, This is a spiritual illness that we have. So they gave me a little white chip at this meeting, like good luck, white chip type thing. And I took my white chip and I threw it out in my barracks window.

Chips of Hawaii. I went out drinking on an abuse. Needless to say, I never made it to my Level 1. Needless to say, the Marine Corps thought I'd better go to Level 3, where those real drunks went. Did I want to go? No. Am I glad I went? Now? I suppose I am. Has opened up my mind only to a whole new way of living. So if I went to Level 3, where I was introduced to everything, I was given all the tools to stay sober. But have I been sober since 1985? No. No,

no, but I learned a lot. That's why it's very important to know that we don't stay sober on what we know, OK? It's not what you know. It's not knowledge that keeps you sober. There's a whole chapter called into action, right? It's not called into thinking, it's into action. It's what we do that keeps us sober 'cause I can stand up here and tell you anything, but what am I doing outside of these rooms? Do I live in a A or does a A live in me?

So in 1985, I learned about the program of recovery, which is the 12 steps. I learned about the disease, and then I thought it was very interesting. That's what I thought. I'm so glad I understood all this stuff and so glad I had this big book in these books. And I'm so glad I have this stuff and this knowledge. But I did nothing, nothing with it. Nothing except not drink. OK. I didn't drink for 21 months,

OK,

I didn't drink for 21 months and I noticed I had more money, I felt better, I looked better, I was doing better, but the person I was will drink again. Did I change my thinking? No, I merely change things on the outside, You know, I merely change my physical body. I did nothing to change my thinking. OK, 'cause we have a thinking problem. So of course

I picked up again. Of course I picked up again.

The reason people pick up again is because they don't quit the program of recovery, which is the 12 step

into their lives. OK. And I definitely didn't do anything except not drink. So I'm a prime example of what happens when you don't put the 12 steps into your life. I mean, how many people with a fatal disease wish they had an answer? The solution? We have an old chapter called there is a solution. You know how many people with a fatal disease wish they had a solution? It's not really very hard, but it's hard

if you're not willing, you know, And I wasn't willing in 1985. So I picked up again.

What was it like? Well, this disease is growing in all of us right now. Right now, OK. It's doing push-ups in the parking lot. That's why the book says this is a daily reprieve. What did you do today for your sobriety? Not yesterday or 10 years ago or even a week ago. It's today because this disease is coming. Baffling and powerful. You know, look into the eyes of those people that keep coming in and out when we ask them that question. Did it get any better?

It never gets better.

Never, never, never. And he's sticking around these rooms long enough. You'll see what happens to people that don't come to meetings. You'll see. You'll see. You'll hear about the deaths, the children that are taken away, the families that are broken, the suicides. I've seen and heard it all in these past 19 years is devastating. It's devastating. This disease is a taker. It's a taker. It's a taker of lives,

it truly is. So after I picked up again, it's like the race was on.

The race was on, and I ended up getting kicked out of the Marine Corps because of my

drunkenness, you know, because of my addictions, my drunkenness, and I thought I could fool the Marine Corps. I got caught. I always got caught. I always ended up getting caught. OK, So boom, I was kicked out of the Marine Corps in 1988. And prior to getting kicked out, I met a guy. As a story, I always wanted met a guy

and he, he and I got married and I started drinking.

Wasn't because of him. OK? It wasn't because of the Marine Corps that I drank again. It's important to remember why people pick up again because they don't have a program of recovery. That is why we got to keep this simple. It's pretty simple stuff. OK, so I was drinking again, kicked out of Marine Corps. I was stationed in Arizona. I wanted to stay out West because, number one, I like the weather. Oh, no. He told me he was from the best location in the nation. Does anybody know where that is?

You're in it, correct.

Ohio, USA, That's where he was from. So he had to go out of the Marine Corps for administrative reasons. And we made that road trip from Yuma to Cleveland, and I wanted to stay awake the whole way. I almost Od'd on my way here. But as you can see, I arrived and I haven't left yet. God had plans for me here in Cleveland. So anyway, I arrived in Cleveland, in his neighborhood, E 67th and Saint Clair, welcome to Cleveland, you know, and thank God for that. I never would have made it to this group.

I'd probably be dead or in jail, you know, or out there still drunk, you know? So thank God I made it to this neighborhood where they sell cigarettes one by one. At Sam's, I was greeted,

I was greeted with a rum coat and my hat. My hat was off, my hair was down, my boots are off. I had arrived and my little partying life continued right here in the neighborhood. So E 67th and Saint Clair, I got a little job at E 33rd and Saint Clair at State Chemical. That was my little world,

you know, I'm sponsoring my and I were talking how small our worlds get, you know, and that was my little world in the end. And things were happening, bad things were happening. Things like my beautiful Jeep repossessed. The repo man found me. I never had money for anything except partying. Yes, I had a little job, you know,

but nothing good was going on inside me. And I was still hoping that something would magically make me feel better, you know? I wanted to get hit by a car, fall out of a window. I was still looking for outside things to make Nancy all better. But it wasn't happening, you know? I've been around the world. I knew all kinds of people. Nothing was making me feel good.

This is an inside job, this stay and sober stuff. And I met this guy. Yeah, here I was married. I met this guy where I worked. I was real attracted to him. I used to tell him stories, little white chip stories. Lo and behold, he was a sober member of alcoholic synonymous. Oh, yeah. I want to go with you to those meetings. See, I didn't think this stuff happened here. To me, it was very remote, very far away. Okinawa, Japan, Marine Corps A a stuff. I didn't think it really existed here, but it did. And I'll always be grateful to that man.

Who kindly reminded me that it does exist here and if I wanted it, I had to do it for me. So it was February 3rd of 1990. A day like any other day. You know this marine that I was married to. We were just two drunken brawl and Marines. He had black eyes. We had holes in the plaster. It was a drunken mess. him and I mess. The person I was will drink again,

you know, And it was chaotic how we were living and I was jumping on a moving vehicles bar light. It was just I was crying in bars. I was angry,

yelling, I was not a happy go lucky fun drunk anymore. I was always chasing that feeling so I could never get back to it again. Never. Because this is a progressive disease. It's always growing in US. You know, I hope you understand what I mean when I say that because that's why it never gets better. It always gets worse. And we're always chasing that fun time, remember and was never happy. I have to remember that again,

it was never that happy go lucky fun drunk. And I sure did try. For about 2 1/2 years I tried, I tried to find it. It wasn't working,

OK, Just wasn't working. I wasn't drunk enough and I wasn't sober enough, not ever. It was February 3rd in 1990. I was drinking wine, couldn't get that wine was just was not working. So The Plain Dealer on the table, little blurb was, yeah, a little blurb. And this is March, because this was in February of 1990. I called Central office. You know how they're always asking for pledges This month, think of me. I called Central office. Central office told me what to do. They told me where there was a meeting. They told me who would call me.

And just like clockwork, those things did happen

and I was introduced to a man in Cleo Judkins. He called me. He used to come here every Sunday. He was my he showed me, OK. He showed me how to stay sober. And I stumbled into his meeting, this little approach to life, new approach to life on E 72nd and Myron on February 3rd of 1990. And I came to that meeting as I had nowhere else to go. OK, nowhere else to go. You got to be in zero before you go to step one.

And I stumbled in. I felt this big. So if you feel this big tonight like you have nothing going on,

you don't want anybody to talk to you and you certainly don't want to talk to anybody. I know what you mean. I know what you feel like. I understand. Those are important words, you know, for that newcomer. We understand because everyone in here that's sober. We once had one hour, We once had two hours of sobriety. You know what? We're all just one drink away because this is a daily reprieve. I went into that meeting and I sat down my little chair. I suppose a few little tears trickled down and there was some woman leading.

The only thing I remember that she said was anything that's in the way of your sobriety. Get rid of anything.

It's in the way of your sobriety. Get rid of. So I went home that night and told my then husband to move out because he was in the way of my sobriety. Those were the extreme measures I had to go through, OK, Because we had everything and anything going on in that house. The SWAT team had been there. It was a wild way of life, okay? But I do not miss today. And he did take me seriously and he did move out. You know, I wish I could just tell you a little happy skip down the trail story about that, but he died as a direct result of this disease.

You know, he died. He didn't surrender.

He didn't. He didn't. He could, but he didn't, OK? He didn't. Some of us have to die so the others can stay sober. So that was February 3rd. My sobriety is February 15th. OK. This is about being 100% clean and sober. No such thing as a marijuana maintenance program. You don't have one day for being sober from crack, another day for being sober from Michelob, and yet another day for being sober from vodka. OK. It's about being 100% clean and sober.

You can't do the steps of your stone. OK? Can't do the steps if you're stoned. So February 15th of 1990 was my day that I was 100% clean and sober. And what's been going on since then?

A whole lot of life, you know how to pack in 19 years appear in a general way, a general way.

I knew something was going on in these rooms that was bigger and better than me.

I knew I liked how I felt in these rooms. I liked looking into your eyes. I liked seeing sober, clear, clean eyes. That's neat. It's neat to look into somebody's eyes. You know, look at a newcomer. They'll look every way. But in your eyes, you know, every way. But in your eyes. The eyes are the gateway of the soul. I knew what I liked feeling in this room. And as I've come to learn, I, I felt God. That's what I felt.

I felt the presence of God. I couldn't explain it back then, but I knew I liked how I felt.

It was like a neat bunch of people and they're sober and I liked what they were saying. But most of all, I like what they were doing. I liked what they were doing. This was good, clean living in here. They don't serve alcohol in here either, do they, Marty? No alcohol in here. How about that? So I kept coming back one day at a time. You know, I, I kept coming back as number one. I had nowhere else to go. I liked how I felt in here. And Cleo would come pick me up every night and take me to meetings. He took me to this meeting. He took me to St. John's Cathedral, the J&L group,

the Angle. He knew what I needed, he knew what I needed, and he graciously just took me to meetings. He didn't really say too much, but he showed me what to do. He showed me. I will forever be grateful to Cleo, You know, God bless Cleo. Watch what we do, not what we say.

In my life that first year, I don't want to forget it, but it's important that you remember, especially to pass on to new persons. That is how this program works in one drunk to another. I can't remember going to Cedar Point. A whole bunch of us, one of those people's here today, tonight in this room and we would run around Cedar Point yelling, what's the point? All those good ass would say. The point is that we're willing to grow on spiritual lines. It was like we would do fun sober stuff that I had no idea how to do. Tommy Cusick,

old time. And it was a great instrument in my life. Kind, loving people that wanted nothing from me but everything for me. How about that, You know, how about that? And you people gave me things that I never had gotten before. Maybe I wasn't ready for them with my family. I don't know. But this is where I got my life back, you know, I'll always be grateful to you. And in these 19 years, boy, I've been through it. You know, I probably done everything wrong

any person could ever do because those a police are everywhere. I didn't pick up. And why didn't I pick up? You know, because I put things in my life, those intangible, those things you can't see. I put a lot of pennies in the bank. You know, I put a lot of service work. I, I did what you told me to do because my way wasn't working. The visual that Larry Van Dusen does

explains it. You know, if you had your drink here, you know, you pick somebody up, you're part of their way from it. You do the first step, you're a little further away. You pray you're further away.

I kept doing things to keep me away from that drink. Is this disease wants us, you know, and I had to do things to stay sober 'cause I knew what didn't work. I knew that doing nothing got me nowhere. Half measured, even quarter measures avail us nothing, nothing, nothing. That means zip, zip. And I had grown up with a God, you know, I was baptized, I think Lutheran. I was Methodist. I was confirmed Episcopal. I knew a little about God. OK, I know a little

about a lot. That's pretty much how it is. And you all reminded me how to stay sober.

The bottom line is your relationship with God. OK? That's why they wrote this book. It says in there that the the main object of this book is to I don't like to reveal God to you who will solve all your who will solve your problem. It says that like on page 45, solve your problem, not your problems because guess what our problem is?

It's us. We are the problem. OK? Drinking is not a symptom of our disease, we are the problem. And it's real important to know that we have this thinking problem. And then once we ingest the alcohol, that's when we get the phenomena of craving. And that's what differentiates the alcohol from the non alcoholic. Sounds pretty simple. 1st 164 pages teaches you how to live and you will know a new freedom and a new happiness which means something you never had before. It's all new, new freedom. New.

So where was I here that first year doing stuff? The fellowship. The fellowship is not the program

and it just opened my eyes to a new way of living. OK, like I told you, I did things wrong, but I kept coming back. I didn't pick up a drink, OK? We're all on this journey, so wherever you are, it's okay. Just compare yourself to yourself. Hopefully you're doing better today than yesterday. And the bottom line, like I told you, that relationship with God, OK, if all you can say in the morning is please, and all you can say at night is thank you, that's a start. That's enough,

you know. But like I said before, the point is that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines.

And in my life, yeah, it's gotten better generally, generally speaking, my life has gotten better. And I've been married and divorced twice in sobriety. Before sobriety was like a 2 1/2 year marriage. Even in sobriety, I had this crazy six week marriage. Imagine that, You know, how could you do that with all this time? Well, you never know where somebody is on their journey. I had lessons to learn. You know, until you learn, you're going to still keep repeating it. But I need to keep coming back to you people because I knew my way wasn't working. I mean, ask anybody that.

Me. Yeah. I'll tell him myself when I Katie, you got to. You got to. Because my secrets will keep me sick. Sick. And hopefully we're all here to help each other, not hurt each other. And there's some people in this room help me immensely. A matter of fact, one man here reminded me of how he put his finger in my chest and told me what I was when I first got her. Did I like hearing it? No. Did I need to hear it? Yeah.

Do you keep me coming back? Yeah, because he saw right through me.

The people that care about you will speak the truth to you. It's not always easy to swallow, you know. And those steps are there for a reason. In an order. They have numbers on them, 1-2, They have numbers to do in the order. And the 12th one, if anyone listened, it says as a result of these steps, then we had the spiritual experience. I mean, there's powerful stuff in those words that are in that big book. So if you can't read or you don't understand it, go to somebody that does. So you can like eat the

food that's in that big book so you can get better. Because I know I don't want to just be some little worm squirming on the ground eating hamburgers. I want everything I can possibly get. You know, I want that filet mignon type sobriety. And how am I going to get it? How do we like get good at this stuff? Well, we're always on the journey and to grow spiritually, we have to work and self sacrifice with others. We got to help each other one day at a time, from 1 drunk to another. That's how it works. That's how it works.

It's pretty simple stuff, isn't it? We just keep trying, just keep trudging that road of happy destiny. It's the road of happy destiny. That means you're on it. You are on the road of happy destiny, you know, And today I have. Yeah. I have a light bulb in every socket. Imagine that. I have a car that actually works. You know, you all taught me there's two kinds of cars, Nancy. Those that work and those that don't. Mine works. I have toilet paper and tissue. You know, I have a few outside things

and as the result of keep coming back and being responsible and being accountable and my life is generally better. Yeah, I went back to school. I actually got an A in algebra. I was able to do things with this sober mind. So I asked God to come in and help me, you know, And you know what, it's actually God doesn't help me stay sober 'cause if he helps me, that means I'm still a little bit in charge, right? God keeps me sober,

'cause God has how much power? All power. That means how much do I have?

Zero.

So I want to thank you all for listening. Would you join me in Australia?

Who keeps us over?