The International Group of Stockholm's "12-Step Workshop Weekend" in Stockholm, Sweden

Are you gonna jump right in? The one I know it's kind of cool is they really know how hard headed we are.

They cover step one in like 4 chapters. That's how hard headed we are. They go over it in the Doctor's Opinion Bill story, even if there's a solution and more about alcoholism, even in the chapter there's a solution, they go there's a solution. But wait a minute, I need to go back to the fact I'm really talking about alcoholism for a second 'cause I don't think you're really get it before I can even give you the solution.

So you'll find step one in the Doctor's Opinion Bill story, There's a solution and more about alcoholism. Those are the chapters that really cover step one. So, you know, we're going to go over real quick

the doctor's opinion bills story. There's a solution more about alcoholism. All that is step one,

right? Isn't that crazy?

Step one, we admit it. We were powerless over alcohol and that our lives have become unmanageable. What's admitted?

While she's looking that up, you know, I was grateful that somebody took me through the book. If you would have just had me read it, I would have make up some other stuff. I probably would understood it that way. Either

confess to be true,

allow entrance or access. Allow the possibility of,

allow the possibility of. I like that.

What is it except to be true? Except to be true.

Except to be true. Isn't that something? Admit it. We always go. I mean, I'm powerless over out. Do you know what you're saying?

Yes,

I'm just reading the step one itself

admitted we were powerless and it says we

right? Does it say admitted I was

says admitted we were were and they used the word were my that correct past tense admitted we were

powerless over alcohol and our lives, our lives were unmanageable. You know, I like the fact that they say we because I get to include myself in the we. I get to say I but I'm not lonely in that eye. It's far more difficult to say I am powerless,

more shameful, but to say we are as a collective allows me to embrace it a little bit easier.

Because if you are, I am too. And we together are, so we're not like, alone in some little isolated island. You know, leprosy. You gotta like, put me away somewhere.

We are collectively powerless as individuals

that I get to admit that

in the 12 and 12, it says who wants to admit complete defeat? So to ask the question nobody,

I love that. So that means that it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. They're not telling me like yay, I'm powerless. Woohoo, yippee, yay. It's like our ball is, does it feel good? I don't want to admit that, but I have to.

I have evidence of it.

I'm not saying it just because you're saying it. I got evidence

that I'm powerless. Lack of power is our dilemma.

Lack of power is our dilemma.

Most people struggle with the second-half of step one,

unmanageability.

Many of us can say, Oh yeah, I'm powerless over alcohol. You know why we say that? Because yeah, I have a drink and then I keep drinking a lot.

This allergy of the body that the doctor talks about we're going to cover very quickly, but many of us sometimes can identify with the allergy of the body.

Once too many. 1000 is not enough. Oh yes, many times. I went out for a drink and I said I was going to have one and end up having ten. I guess I can see that.

Yeah, I drank a lot. It would get kind of drunk, a little messy,

too many cocktails,

unmanageability. Oh no, now you dripping.

Not unmanageable. What's unmanageable?

They're gonna have on, but I'll look. I drink too much, but unmanageable? I have a job for goodness sake,

and a family I take care of.

OK, There's no unmanageable look at manageable. So I guess maybe that's

and we're going to spend the morning before we go on our break, right on step one, because this is the biggest one and this is the one that it tells me is the only step I need to do perfectly. Actually

all the other ones that have an open mind and do the best I can, I attempt, you know, I tried. But step one, we need to get this one.

I can't be confused on one. So it says for manageable is to succeed in achieving contrive, succeed in one in ones aim. So unmanageable is to not succeed and then ones aim I'm guessing not succeed in ones aim.

That's the hardest part of that step.

I can admit to some extent because I have proof that I drink too much.

Powerless. I don't know about that because I, you know, my greatest obsession is to drink like other people.

And I've been trying to manage and control my drinking for a while. Powerless.

Getting a little scary there. Not powerless. I'm not weak. I'm not a punk

we struggle with that. Can admit I drink a little too much

and some family members don't invite me anymore for some reason. I'm not sure really why, other than I don't think they've ever really liked me much.

But me? Powerless.

And we have to admit that, huh?

And that our lives were unmanageable. And my life is unmanageable by me.

Not sure.

Look at the doctor's opinion.

I have X, I, I, I what you got

V as in Victor,

and we'll open up again. Questions. I'm going with the flow. I like to go into this with an open mind, so please don't get the impression that I'm over here like knowing what I'm doing.

I can't do it that technical. I'm not a professor. I don't have my alcohol and drug counseling certificate.

Is a drunk right along with you? This is my experience of how I understood the book and the program, how I love going in that way

so I get to have fun right along with you. Certain things gonna be like, really? Did you hear that? I just learned something new today.

OK, You had the doctor's opinion.

I have You have fourth. You have Third edition XI or XV,

You have I, I,

VII.

Cool.

The Doctor's opinion. Who the heck is the Doctor?

I always like that it's all big and caps, right? The Doctor Who is the doctor. My goodness, he's pretty.

He got a whole job though. That's how I saw it. The doc though, Oh my God, I'm impressed.

We of Alcoholics Anonymous believe that the reader will be interested in the medical, in the medical estimate, Yeah, of a plan of recovery described in this book. So they thought I might be interested and done something. They thought about it. That means somebody thought about this. And, you know, I think they probably want to hear from a doctor.

Our experience is probably not enough.

Convincing testimony must surely come from medical men. And anytime I saw the word must, they told me to circle it on. The line would follow because there's a lot of must in this book. There's not a lot of suggestions.

Must means must. There isn't a whole lot of room in must.

I love how they say, you know, we get suggestions around here. You know, Bill had a lot more must in the 1st edition. They started taking it out, but there was a lot of must still left in here. I remember when I got here, they used to say even suggestions that were given to me were suggestions like the buildings on fire. I suggest you leave.

You could say, but

not a whole lot of room there.

So convincing testimony must surely come from medical men who had experience with the suffering of members and have witnessed our return to health. Also, the doctor has some experience with us. It's not just some doctor.

A well known doctor, chief physician at the nationally prominent hospital specializing in alcoholic and drug addiction, gave Alcoholics Anonymous this letter. How impressive.

So this is a Doctor Who specializes in alcohol and drug addiction. It's important. You need to. I don't know, but I need to hear stuff like this. I don't want just some doctor, you know, many doctors. I've seen this, I've been out there to talk to. I need to hear from another doctor.

Who is this doctor? Who got something to say?

This doctor specializes. Maybe that's different and

he's also witness us return to health. Maybe he's important as doctor

to whom it may concern. I have specialized in the treatment of alcoholism for many years. He's letting me know again. He's been around for a minute.

In the late 1934, I attended a patient who, though he had a have been a competent businessman of good earning capacity, was an alcoholic of the type I had come to regard as hopeless. Oh my.

In the course of his third treatment, he acquired certain ideas concerning a possible means of recovery. As part of his rehabilitation, he commenced to present his concept conceptions to other Alcoholics and pressing upon them that they must do likewise with still others. This has become the basis of a rapidly growing fellowship of these men and their families. This man

and over 100 others appear to have recovered. Why do I read that? Because the doctor is telling me that I could believe these people,

the doctors, so, and I'm about you. But most doctors are very egotistical and arrogant and they don't really like give other people credibility. They're the ones that do it all. And this doctor is saying these people got something going on that maybe I don't. That's impressive to me. So now I'm like, this is a cool doctor.

I kind of like this doctor

not gonna read the whole letter cuz I wanted to get into the to step one.

Where am I? It says later on I'm gonna go down after his letter.

The second paragraph, it says the doctor's theory is that we have an allergy to alcohol interests us as laymen. Our opinion as to the soundness may of course mean little,

but as an ex problem drinker we can say his explanation makes good sense. It explains many things for which we could not, could not otherwise account. Well, that's interesting.

This allergy of the body thing is kind of interesting because I can't really explain why is it that I say I'm going to go somewhere, have just a glass of wine, and next, you know, the place is closing down and I'm still there.

I've been trying to figure that out,

says this theory of the allergy is kind of interesting to him. It's interesting to me. Oh, it's an allergy.

Is that why many times I said I'm only gonna do two or three and then I end up doing 10 or I keep going or I get a money order. I get paid and I put it in money orders. And by the end of the night, I'm trying to cash a money order and some liquor store that says to the Department of Water Power.

My intention was to pay my bills.

So what? Something is happening to me that with all my good intention of wanting to pay my bills and not keep drinking, I'm doing it anyway, which starts explaining the word powerless

to me,

A person who's Anybody here got allergies of like strawberries, nuts? Or is anybody got any allergies to foods you do? What happens to you if you either smell So people smell or ingest something you're allergic to?

I have to leave.

Can you stop it?

No. Can you wish it away?

It's still there. So that's that's the idea. We're going to look up allergy, but the idea of an allergy is nothing you can do about that

other than maybe not. What are you allergic to?

So the best you can do is just try to stay away from hazelnuts, grass and flowers. Right

now.

You love hazelnut, let's say, and

do you keep imagine you keep trying to eat them, but every time you eat them all this happens to you and you keep going. OK. I can just going to have half of a hazelnut

with a little bit of hazelnut.

You're not going to let the hazelnut win.

Isn't that funny?

This hazelnut will not get me.

How dare this hazelnut have power over me?

That's hysterical. How ridiculous would that be? The bottom line is you can't have hazelnut

because once you have it, something happens to your body that you cannot control even if you wanted to. It's the same analogy. It's the same relationship that this doctor is saying I have with alcohol. And again, if I identify it with my experience, the doctor's not too far off from the truth.

That's why I say nobody's ever lied to me here. If I keep an open mind to the possibility that just maybe these people know what they're talking about

is their experience, I can't lie about that. My experience, your experience with hazelnut. What if I tell you, ah, come on, you can have a hazelnut.

Oh, get over.

Pull yourself off from your bootstraps man. Can't you handle the hazelnut?

What have I told you that? And you're sitting there going. I know what happens to my body when I take a hazelnut. I don't care how delicious the hazelnut is or how great I enjoy it, or I would love to have it all the time. Even with chocolate, something happens to my body when I put hazelnut in it, and once it goes in, I can't do nothing about it.

I began to understand powerlessness

when I understood the allergy part of the powerlessness, because I'm going to talk about the obsession. But what's interesting is the obsession we can overcome

the level of powerlessness is this allergy.

See how simple it is to treat your issue with hazelnut? You just don't need it. Even if you don't like, you know, read, pull yourself together,

you can't have it. You can't have it.

What do you have for allergy?

Adverse reaction to certain substances.

Adverse reaction to certain substances. That's what makes me different from my fellows.

I have a glass of wine, the allergy kicks in. You have a glass of wine, you chill it.

I just want to have a glass of wine like you,

but something happens, the allergy that happens in my body, like the hazelnut, something happens to my body and it goes feed me Seymour.

Keep it coming, Keep me coming. Don't stop.

More and more. More, more, more,

more, more, more, more, more. You know, I can. I listen to this guy Auto. He used to crack me a wonderful speaker. He kept drinking and drinking. He went to some fair and had a hot dog and some other stuff, then went to the bar and kept drinking and drinking. He would get sick. I mean, to the point that I'm puking and everything and I still go back in and drink again.

And he said he's doing that and he's going out puking. He comes back and he's like, I will never ever, ever, ever have another hot dog from a fair again.

We blame it on the hot dog. Has nothing to do with the booze.

How funny is that?

Again, it says before that the other paragraph it has said the physician who at our request, after his letter had gave us this letter, had been kind enough to enlarge upon his views in another statement which follows. In this statement he confirms

you got the phone.

He confirms that we have suffered alcoholic torture. We who have suffered alcoholic torture must believe, must believe, that the body of the alcoholic is quite as abnormal as his mind.

I must believe that. Do you know that? If I don't believe that, I must stay confused.

I'ma stay confused.

It did not satisfy us to be told that we could not control our drinking just because we're maladjusted to life, that we were in full flight from reality, that we were outright mental defectives. These things were true to some extent in factual, a considerable extent with some of us, but we are sure that our bodies were sticking as well

and our belief. Any picture of the alcoholic which leaves out this physical factor is incomplete.

My body is different,

just like the gentleman with the allergy of the hazelnut. You know, that's not cute to say. Look at. He's a grown man talking about I can't eat no hazelnuts. I can't control the hazelnut. But you see, what's funny is that you can sit there and listen to him and go, Oh my goodness, keep hazelnuts away from him. You can respect that. And you could say to him, make sure you okay that you don't have any. I cook something, it has hazelnut and make sure you don't eat it right, 'cause you don't want all this. So you know that what's going to happen to him? He can't stop. The only thing you got to do is go to the hospital.

We understand that with other allergies, but when it comes to alcohol, we don't get that. There's just no way that something happens to my body. But the doctor is saying yes,

something physically is happening to your body. As unfortunate as you find it to be, that's the case. And if you don't understand that, you're gonna keep trying to figure out how you could drink.

It's like Kim trying to figure out how to do the hazelnut, put chocolate on it, put it in the cake, make it into a tea. It doesn't matter what form

he's allergic to the damn head. Stop. What the hell does not do?

Leave it alone? Yes, actually if you bake it in the oven,

more than likely if you bake it, part of the oils fall from it ain't and then you're able to eat it. I think it's it's the oil that comes with the nuts.

Yeah, yeah,

that's happened. My brother's allergic to nuts. I think it's the oil that comes from. The scary thing is, if it hasn't been cooked through thoroughly or something hasn't happened, then you get jacked up again. It's about what happens to my body. I could take the chance, but what happens to it once it goes in there is beyond anything I can stop or control. And that's the key thing here,

what happens to my body, which for me in step one was a sense of relief, of admitting that I was powerless, because that's a relief to know that that means that I'm not so incompetent. That means that I'm not. So do you know, I mean, like I beat up on myself. Why can't I just do this?

What's wrong with you? Just get it together. It allows me to stop doing that to myself and go, you know what? You just can't do that. That's all. Just can't do it. Something happens to you that's different and that needs to be okay. For me, it was also a relief. Oh, it's not because I'm incompetent,

not because I have the inability of trying to make this happen. I can't do anything about it

when it goes in my body. Oh, that's a relief. OK, that's cool. Let's go with that then. I don't know. For me, that was very refreshing.

My body was sick and that's OK.

What's funny is that on the bottom it says though on the bottom of the of that paragraph says though we worked out a solution on the spiritual as well as the altruistic plane. We favor hospitalization for the alcoholic who's very jittery or be fogged.

More often than not. It is imperative that a man's brain be cleared before he's approached. That tells me you need to stop talking to the alcoholic who's still drinking.

People crack me up talking to them. What's the matter with you?

Say nothing

as he has then a better chance of understanding and accepting what we have to offer.

We have a better chance clearing the brain of the jitters and defogging. Something happens to the body, we're going to clean out the body, clear it out.

This allergy goes. Give me more, give me more, give me more, give me more, give me more, more, more, more. I don't care if I throw up. I don't care if I have an accident. If I go and throw these, it doesn't matter the reason why I'm saying like the good old days before that I can. These things, all these tragic things can happen to me and I get up and I have another drink again because my body's running things,

not me. Later on they tell me you want to find out if you have a problem, go do some control drinking,

go to the nearest bar room, order you a drink and it says stop abruptly.

They drink the whole thing.

Stop abruptly and be equipped with this information and it's as if you're honest with yourself. It may be worth a good case of jitters. Stop abruptly and see if you don't think about it no more.

You gonna have a sip? Put it down and just try to have a good time.

And it tells me don't do it once, do it a few times because you know, we're real good. I can do it in white knuckle and act like I'm doing something and say, see, I proved it. No, no, do it a few times, it says.

And be honest with yourself. I can pretend to you that I'm doing OK, but in my body, my body is going.

Leave it alone. Don't look at it. No, it's OK. Just like you're right. You're fine. Don't say nothing. Should be quiet. No. Everybody's looking. You're right. You don't need it. You'll be fine.

You're not thinking about it. Yes, you are. You know, all kinds of stuff is happening to me.

Yeah, do experiment another day. Oh, then you start saying

AAA people. They're stupid anyway.

Why am I here doing this stupid exercise? That's absolutely ridiculous. I don't even know why I'm playing this game. Just finish the rest of it. Who are they? They don't know anything. You're fine. You're great. You don't need this. This is nonsense. We'll just get rid of the wife. She's the problem.

Getting on my nerves.

I mean, that's,

that's what ends up happening to us. Step one is so important that I understand the actual disease of alcoholism. What happens to my body, my mind and my spirit? What happens to me? I need to understand that so that I can admit

it says. When I admit I have proof, I am convinced I have evidence.

I don't just go, Oh yeah, I'm powerless 'cause you all, you know, it sounds cute. I was convinced

based on my experience. I've tried it didn't work.

How many times I change from Scotch to Brandy?

How many times are the New Year's resolution? Oh, I said, I'm only going to stop by for a quick nip. End up staying. And everyone's relationship may be a little different. That's why they told me to examine my relationship with alcohol. For some people, we progress into other things. The allergy is still there. I may have a glass of wine. And next you know I'm smoking a joint.

Join them sniffing cocaine. Then I'm lacing the cocaine. Then I'm cooking it.

How that happened. I was just gonna have a glass of wine. Now I'm doing other things. Now it doesn't matter what comes. Just give me something. Anything. Crystal meth, heroin. What you got? Whatever.

And I'm not choosy anymore because the body is demanding more. I've been in places where there was cocaine on the on the album cover. They spilt that and somebody put heroin. I didn't go. Oh no, I was like, whatever, it's white, it's powder. It's there.

Oh, it burns the hell out of your nose.

Do that again. Why would anybody their right mind do that?

It's burning your nose.

I felt it. There's certain drugs I've taken that my lungs felt like they were collapsed. You would think that I would go, Oh no. And I was like, maybe we need to add something to it.

How insane is that?

Admit that I'm powerless

then I would see you all D and your eyes roll in the back of your head and foam come out of your mouth and I think you just didn't cut it properly.

Who does that?

Who does that?

Do you know what I'm saying? I actually take that very thing that had your eyes roll in the back of your head and do it.

The body says take it from him,

he just did it wrong. You're going to be alright. If that's not powerless, because part of my brain says don't do that,

I go shut up.

I've been in many situations where I said to myself, oh, I'm probably going to get like, this guy can kill me right now. He's probably getting an axe. And why am I walking down the alley with these people? They're probably going to kill me. What are you doing here? Going with them? And then I go, you tripping? That's probably the weed

smoke. Too much weed get you paranoid

because we're on our way to do something. I need to go do that. There's no logic and no reason. When I have the allergy of the body, we're not even talking about the obsession. The phenomenon of craving is the allergy of the body.

We're not even talking about obsession yet.

The obsession started first,

but once I pick up, that's it.

This is the doctors talking about the allergy that's so important. We got any questions on the allergy?

Anybody give me some questions? You're not sure? Tell me your own experience in which you identify with that allergy. If you don't have a question, it's nice to hear from others. Opens up so much more. You have experience with the allergy, Can you tell us?

You can't tell us. If I could tell you, you could tell us why I get to talk and you can't tell me your story.

You can't think. No, OK. I'm like, hey, you'll get to know my business and I love listening to yours. Anybody else can give you an example of experiencing the allergy and their own experience

with people that should, you know, just

give up the party and go home

before me.

Oh, it's fun to make them stay, you know?

And they were like, what is the day tomorrow, June?

We're damn bore.

So so I was. I was always last, first thing, last film,

trying to play to the night, the curtains down

well enough more

and I can't. I couldn't even figure out why

it was just going to have one line.

One line you could do the laundry

and three in the morning I was sitting there alone

figure not trying to figure out what the hell happened.

Yeah, that strategy to me,

very cool. How are you? You're identifying. She's just all over the place. Talk to me

the lack of self respect that's allergy. I'll never do that the level that you dropped till I only do cocaine. I don't have a problem, you know, And then when the cocaine runs out, doesn't matter if it's amphetamine, doesn't matter if I

down in the center of Stockholm with one of the drug addicts at 2:00 in the morning scarring heroin, you know, if it's finished, I need more.

Umm, And then the allergy is you wake up tomorrow morning and using shit, I'll never do that again. And the same night you're doing it again

night after night after night. And then, you know, sort of when I'll never be an alcoholic because my father was an alcoholic

technology. Now I'll just have one glass of water

and then you look around the table when you're having a dinner and sitting with five people and they drink half a glass of wine and then they forget about it. You know, I don't drink half a glass of wine. I, I looked at, I watched their glasses and control it and control it. And then as soon as they walk out of the room, I'll finish theirs as well.

Yeah. So I relate to it.

That's like this old time it was telling me about, uh, you know, the story of the hat, the glass half full or half empty,

like our perception. He said, you know, you can look at the glass and say it's half full or it's half empty. He's like the alcoholic looks at it. You tell him is it half full, half empty? And the alcohol is like, OK, get you done with that.

I drink it now. Cute little game, but that's something in there. That's all I know. And that needs to finish it.

That's a fight. Sorry, is the glass half full of half empty? Are you done with that?

Oh, you know, there's some in there. That's, those are wonderful examples. It's important that I identify with that, that I'm sure that I'm some part of me is saying I'm only going to do this and that's it. And it's not me. It's not necessarily me, the person going, I want to keep going to two or three in the morning. I want to end up down there with the I don't want to do that. That wasn't the intention. That was not the plan, but something happened

when I put it in my body.

So yeah, something begins to happen to me

that's beyond my control.

That's what we start getting into, the powerlessness. I'm so busy thinking. So we that word, we're so afraid of who? I have no power.

Well, something happens to my body. Have you stopped drinking water? If you don't get rest and if you don't eat, what are you powerless? You can't walk around your life not drinking water, not eating, not sleeping.

It's hard to admit that I have to eat, I have to sleep and have to drink water in order to survive. Oh, you think water, sleep and food got power over you? Do you know what I'm saying? I'm walking around doing that. Just look at my relationship with alcohol. Tells me that whenever I start with one, one is too many. 1000 is not enough. So perhaps the doctor knows what he's talking about. He's not too far off from the truth.

If I'm honest with myself, I can say, you know what, that is the case and that is my experience that has happened to me. Yes, we have an extra stretch or not. You want to stretch your arms?

We've been here for 1 1/2. Is it time for our break?

11:30 We got 10 more minutes and we take. We're gonna get up and walk around and go out. Hold on. 10 more minutes. It's eleven, 2010 minutes. We are actually going to go take a break. You can stretch your arm. We won't mind you stretching your arm. You want to stretch your arms?

You're going to wait till 11:30?

Did you lose you? What's your name? Did I lose you? Either do you want to stretch your arms or you wait till 10 more minutes. You'll wait. OK, cool. My brother lost you, made a suggestion, just disappeared on that. OK, so now we have back to the doctor's letter. Later on the Doctor writes,

We're over here, I think I XX

Where are you? Hear the letter XXV I I for the Doctor now starts writing. XXV I I

gets easier when we get into the numbers

the Doctor writes. Unlike the Doctor's letter,

everybody at XV I, I it is, the Doctor writes,

is the third additional XV

Everybody's there.

The subject presented in this book seems to be of paramount importance to those affected afflicted with alcoholic addiction.

I say this after many years of experience as a medical director of one of the oldest hospitals in the country treating alcoholic and drug addiction.

So he's been around for many years. And the oldest hospital. There was therefore a sense of real satisfaction when I was asked to contribute a few words on a subject which is covered in such madness mastery detailed in these pages.

We doctors have realized for a long time that some form of moral psychology was of urgent importance to Alcoholics, but its application presented difficulties beyond our conception with what our ultra modern standards, our scientific approach to everything.

We are perhaps not well equipped to apply the powers of good that lie outside our synthetic knowledge.

So he's talking about a spiritual experience. That's the moral psychology,

man's synthetic knowledge.

Many years ago one of the leading contributors to some of Bill W.

So this book came under our care in this hospital, and while here he acquired some ideas which he put into practical application at once.

Later he requested the privilege of being allowed to tell his story to other patients here, and with some misgivings was consented.

The cases we have followed through have been more interesting. In fact, many of them are amazing. The unselfishness of these men as we have come to know them, the entire abstinence of of profit motive and their community spirit is indeed inspiring to one who has labored long and weary and this alcoholic field. They believe in themselves, and still more, in the power which pulls chronic Alcoholics back from the gates of death.

Huh.

Of course the alcoholic ought to be freed from his physical craving from liquor. Oh my.

And this often requires a definite hospital procedure

before psychological means can be of maximum benefit. We believe, and so suggest a few years ago, that the action of the alcoholic on these truck, the action of alcohol on these chronic Alcoholics, is a manifestation of the allergy. That phenomenon of craving is limited to this class and never occurs in the average tempered drinker.

That tells me that I can't say that I'm a tempered average drinker

and never occurs. It doesn't say it sometimes occurs with them, it says it never occurs. Therefore, I can't think that I'm an average drinker.

I just had a bad spell.

I'm just going through something right now. It says it never occurred. It doesn't happen to them.

That makes me a little bit different

now. They're not telling me I need to chew this with fun. I've had car liver oil. I don't like it, but it's good for your health.

Some nasty stuff

I it never occurs. Never happens

in the average tempered drinker. These allergic types can what never safely use alcohol in any form at all.

And once having formed a habit

and found they cannot break it, once having lost their self-confidence, their reliance upon things human, their problems pile up on them and become astonishing difficult to even solve.

Oh my,

it's getting scary now.

It just becomes more and more difficult for me to lie to myself.

Do you know what I'm saying?

I can't keep going on just, you know, just going through something

makes it very difficult there

asking me to admit. Step one is to admit and admit says with proof. You use the word proof. I need to be convinced I have evidence. Admitting is I'm admitting with proof and evidence. I'm not just saying it

'cause it sounds cute, I'm saying it because I got evidence. I'm listening to this and I'm going, Oh my goodness. The more and more I begin going to the doctor's opinion more about alcoholism, Bill's story, I start going, Oh my goodness,

that's me.

I did that.

Oh, I can have hazelnuts.

Hazelnuts don't work for me. And I like them too. They're so tasty.

It doesn't mean that I was like, oh, yay. I was like, I like alcohol, like the taste of alcohol, like the effect of alcohol. But I have an allergic reaction. So this day I go to the doctor and I go, no, I can't take certain substances because I break out to the crack house. That's why I tell them.

I tell the doctor, I start stealing your tethoscope and stuff. I start taking stuff from you. You don't want to give me alcohol in any form because something happens to me that's beyond me. I said. You see me here just being all nice, nice little patient. I'm not cute.

Give me some kind of substance and we're in trouble. And the next patient you see walking in here will not be the same. And it's not that I want to be mean, Doc. It's just something happens to me.

I want to be a good daughter. I want to be a great friend. I want to be a wonderful employee. Something happens with this allergy of the body and I need to be convinced of that real quick. I'm going to tell the story before we take a break. I love there's a HBO special that really describes this. It's a documentary of a woman with her two children and a couple of boyfriends and she's trying to get sober. I talk about all the time because it just really, I used to show it in my DUI classes. I love DUI class. Nobody's an alcoholic. And those

both times

DUI drunk driving classes, when you get a DUI from drinking and driving, you have to go do alcohol and drug school. And I used to teach the classes and I had a blast. I had a blast. Gianni was one of the one of my students in my DUI

and I'm always like, Oh no, you can.

Guys are not Alcoholics. I'm talking about those other people.

I'm like, that's why this is going to be a piece of cake for you. Because as people are drinking and driving and end up having to go to these schools, I would say to them, you're different, right? You don't have the allergy of the body. So therefore you'll be able to manage and control your drinking. And so next time you won't drink and drive.

So this is a piece of cake for you. Don't even worry about it, you're going to be fine. See alcoholic who needs to be a little worried because it doesn't matter and eventually they going to sell the car anyway. I'm not so much worried about the alcoholic, they stay home after a while. It's your responsible of people that concern me. But anyway,

but I show them as HBO special to help them to understand alcoholism and the dynamics of it. There's a woman who's a mother. She has two of her children. And she tells her children that she's going to keep them because her mother and her sister takes them away from her because she's not taking care of them well. And she tells them, don't worry, you're going to come home soon, I'm going to be clean. And she goes to court and the judge asked, are you clean? And she says, yes, I am. And the mother and the sister go, no, she isn't. She goes, yes, I am.

So the judge says if I test you, you're going to be clean. She says no, I'm not. The judge tells you you have to go back and tell your children that they can't go home with you because you're not clean. Do you know that she had every intention of being clean that day? She really did. She goes back and she has to tell her children. As bad as that is, she got to do it. She got to tell children they can't come home with her