The topic of "Working With Others" at The Firing Line Group of Alcoholics Anonymous in Saint Paul, MN

Hi there, I'm Court. I'm an alcoholic. Thank you for having me here.

Does it last until 8:00 the meeting?

OK. So I was thinking about maybe speaking for 4045 minutes, something like that. And then if we have some discussion after that,

I yeah, thank you for having me here.

I'm here because I don't want to drink again. That's the only reason why

I need to carry this message and

and carrying this message is one of the most powerful things that that keep me sober and keep me close to God that I

that I have have,

you know, have it might dispose of the day. So, so that you know, that's why I'm here. My my Home group here at in this continent at least as bridge to shore. We meet on a Monday nights at 2218 the Alamo club there, which is, by the way, the oldest functioning L&O club in the known universe. It's pretty cool.

My sobriety date is January the 12th 19199

and as I've said before, you know,

I like I like saying that I got soap or some some sometime in the last century sounds pretty cool.

But you know,

I barely just made it

kind of my qualifications for being here, I guess is that I've been I've been working this program

from the big Book since August of 1999

and justice to outline for you guys where I'm coming from is that

in about Christmas of 1998, something like that. I'd been both test driving with physical allergy of this illness and the mental obsession for for some time

and I was pretty convinced that I couldn't drink.

I was pretty convinced that I had an allergy towards alcohol, and I was pretty convinced that

that I couldn't live any kind of a functional life if I was drinking alcohol.

And

what ended up happening is that I,

through a series of unfortunate events, I ended up kind of without a home, traveling around to Europe, drinking.

And

one of the places I was staying was my dad's house. You lived in Belgium at the time. And I had a moment of clarity there. And I got totally convinced that I would die if I wouldn't stop drinking. And I wasn't even 21 years old. And I can't explain why I had this gift of despair at that moment in time. I, you know, and today as I perceive reality, it was only through the grace of God, as I understand Him that I had that despair.

There are people who drink like I did all their lives and they never get that despair and I never get that motivation if, if I might say so,

you know, I don't know. I just was totally convinced there were no empty, you know, rounds left in the Russian lad. I'd been playing

convinced. So I, I called, you know, back home and got and got back on on the track of trying to stay sober. And I, and I remember when I was on the plane riding home, I made a short list of what I was going to do to stay sober. And I remember I was going to, you know, wake up early in the morning. I never woke up early in the morning.

If I was drinking or it was kind of, I was going to do it every day, you know, I and I was going to go swimming. It's morning. That's kind of a sanitary thing to do in Iceland, people swimming every morning. There are public pools everywhere,

and I was going to do that

and I was going to read a religious text for an hour each day.

And so I had this thing and then I was going to eat mostly. You have mostly here,

it's like, like, like really coarse bolts, really good for, you know, for your GI tract.

So, you know, I was going to do that because I never ate breakfast and, and I went ahead and I went home and I got up at 6:30 in the morning. I went swimming, you know, I ate my mostly, you know, really healthy stuff. And I, I read a religious text for an hour. It's morning interesting. You know, the religious text I chose to read. If I, if I mentioned it, I, I, I have offended some people in the past, which is not a hobby of mine. So I just say it's this religious text is no picnic.

You know, it's not like it's not like reading a comic, you know what I'm saying? I really had to concentrate and,

and kind of work through it, but still I did it.

And after, after about six weeks of that, I, I kind of figured out I was going to drink anyway,

you know what I'm saying? All my fine program, I've been trying to stay sober, therefore been relapsing for two years

with all my fine attempts. This was getting me nowhere and I felt it. I, I was kind of getting to know what the mental obsession was like a little bit and I knew the place I was at, you know, I was going to drink again

And, and you know, the, you know, doing my own spiritual cultivating without any action. That's kind of my point,

you know, doing physical exercise and then eating a lot of mostly the only better, you know, the only improvements I got from all this was maybe, you know, better stools for meeting mostly and exercising. You know what I'm saying? But I was still still going to get drunk

because I am an alcoholic

and exercise and fiddling with this and this this and that. It's not going to get me so big.

And I am a real alcoholic. And when I, I remember when I was sitting in the chairs of alcohol and was in the beginning and I heard somebody say I'm a real alcoholic, my, my stomach used to churn, you know what I'm saying? I was, I'm not shit, you know, what has that been? I'm not a real alcoholic. This guy, he must have killed 5 people in a blackout and then stole a bus, you know, drunk, you know, and drove over half of Canada or something, you know what I'm saying?

Real alcoholic. That must be something intense.

But as I, as I read through the big book, being a real alcoholic according to the big book means basically only two things. You have a physical allergy towards alcohol and you have a mental obsession towards alcohol. If you have these two things, it's like a, a three, you know, 3 for two deal. You have a spiritual malady and and most likely likelihood and and you're an alcoholic by the definition in the big Book.

And, you know, I definitely have the physical allergy towards alcohol, even with some cool bonus features, you know, some extra stuff not everybody has, like

like long excessive blackouts where I tend to do illegal things and don't remember at all. It stops being amusing after a while.

And and really, really extreme like character changes.

That doesn't mean I'm a more more or less of an alcoholic than anybody else. That just mean maybe it helped me get into the rooms lock. I was anonymous a bit sooner. I don't know.

And then, you know, the mental obsession. I believe I don't have the allergy anymore. I, I believe I can drink again for any reason. Sometimes I just, you know, conveniently forget and sometimes I just don't care. Sometimes I just put it in the context or I don't, I don't care. I'm going to drink any. And sometimes there's no fight and I just drink. I don't even think about it.

And so I, so I went into a day treatment program and,

and then went into service and I, I got a sponsor, you know, kind of the biggest, coolest sponsor and the biggest group I was attending. And, and the only thing that sponsor could, could kind of relate to me was his resentment towards, you know, how other people were doing the program. And if, if, if there's one thing I didn't need an Alcoholics Anonymous was how to be resentful. You know, I didn't need a course in that.

I'm a freaking expert in being resentful, you know what I'm saying? That is the thing I knew how to do when I got into the rooms.

So, you know, and although I didn't know anything about AAI, didn't know anything about any

politics or any rivalry that might exist in AAI, knew that I didn't want what this guy had to offer.

So in August of 99, I went to guy who basically just worked the steps out of the big book. And that's what we did. We read this big book together. And whenever the big book told us to do anything, we just did it or I did it. And what happened to me is that there was a fundamental change inside of me. I had a spiritual awakening. My attitudes,

my outlook on life was fundamentally changed.

And, you know, like

that's, you know, like like some speakers in a, you know,

put it, you know, I had an eye. I got a new pair of glasses. It was like I had been perceiving reality through, you know, a dark lens or something. And the dark lens was just taken away. So reality didn't change at all, just my perception of reality. You guys stayed the same. I just stopped perceiving you as assholes. You know, I just stopped perceiving you as useless pieces of meat. You know what I'm saying?

Because that's how I felt when I was drinking

and,

and so

in, in about, I guess it was in January of 2000 that I started, you know, feebly trying to work with other Alcoholics.

And for about four to six months, I probably read The Doctor's Opinion and The Forward 10/12 times with 10 and 12 different guys.

And I was getting so fed up with it that I used to, when I got a new guy, I used to just start like chapter two or something because I was so sick of reading The Doctor's Opinion all the time. You know what I'm saying?

Because I figured out he's going to get drunk anyway. It doesn't matter.

But in

But in August of probably 2000, I sat through my first fifth step. And since that time, I've said through more fifth steps than I care to remember.

And, and kind of since early 2000, I've been working consistently with Alcoholics

and that's the experience I have, you know,

nothing more, nothing less.

And I've been doing, I've been doing this a, a deal as, as to the best of my abilities. I was thinking maybe that tonight I would talk about my experience. You know, we're, we're, you know, doing that actual tall stuff work, working with newcomers,

how I work within you guys. And maybe next week talk a little bit of how, how to,

you know, what happens when you, you know, get into a relationship in a A and then you get married and then you have kids and then you go to, you know, school and then, you know, all that stuff and trying to do a a alongside with it without, you know, being divorced or losing your children. You know, so that's, that's been interesting. So maybe, you know, focus a little bit on the second step of the 12th step, the second part of the 12 step

or

so. Yeah,

basically the way I was sponsored to a big book that comes out of a group in Washington, Seattle, Seattle, WA. And my sponsor was kind of halfway out of that method, but, but still he kind of used it. And, and so I, I read a text I read, I think I read Doctor Bob and the Good Old Timers. If anybody's familiar with that,

it's kind of a history of a a in the context of Doctor Bob, one of the Co founders of of the fellowship. And

then there were some hoops along the way I had to jump through. In addition to reading the book, I will listen to some speaker tapes. I did some exercises, stuff like that. That's fine, you know what I'm saying? It definitely resulted in me getting a spiritual awakening. The 2nd sponsee I got, he was dyslexic. Good luck, you know, in East Icelandic. He's not going to read Doctor Problem. Good old times, you know what I'm saying? So what do I do? I'm sorry, I can't sponsor you. You can't drink, you know what I'm saying?

Can't treat Doctor Bob in the good old times. So.

So what happened? And what happened to me and, and,

and a bunch of guys that I was hanging around with at the time that

and we started, I guess, working the work in the program more out of the book.

And just because I think it's just because it felt kind of simpler. And there were some the when the when the kind of steps re emerged in Iceland in 1996, this method was pretty rigidly followed just because that seemed to be the only way to survive. And let's say an A, a landscape that was somewhat hostile to talk of higher power. People used to get kicked out of meetings, not talking about even they didn't use the word God. They just use the word

higher power and they were kicked out of a meeting. So, you know, there's there was some hostility, let's say, you know, toward people trying to do this book to this work. And it's hard, you know, to work the steps and do this this program in the book without approaching or talking about God or higher powers. You can imagine

so they, they had this approach that that worked at the time and as a fellowship grew up that was doing this program. I guess the need for such a rigid or such a methodology or methodological approach wasn't needed, needed as much. That being said, you know, I have, I, I, I really don't think that's a huge issue. Exactly how, you know, if we work the steps and we, you know,

walk naked backwards through Snelling while working the steps or as a part of our fifth step or something,

that's fine, you know what I'm saying? Or, or we do all kinds of exercise there. And they've helped a lot of people. They do, you know, and and they definitely serve a purpose. You know, for some what I'm just saying what I found in my experience is that that the simpler I kept it, you know, for me as a sponsor, the issue it got to sponsor guys.

So I,

so basically, you know, what I started to do more and more was just sitting down with, with guys

and reading the big book with him.

And,

and as I, I said in the beginning, whenever the big book told us to do or something, we, you know, we did it.

I, and that's kind of an approach that works for me. And as I said, I think the details, so as long as we follow these directions don't matter at all. In my experience, I've met all kinds of guys with all kinds of cool spiritual lives that done this thing in all kinds of ways.

But I guess I just, what I want to convey is that, you know, if we feel that's too complicated for us or if you can't kind of reach around those approaches, it's OK just to go with the book too. That's fine.

It's not a less cooler way, you know what I'm saying? It's OK just to use the book, you know? It worked fine for a lot of concern. Sponsored

kind of what, and what I was, what I was kind of experiencing with that is because I'm, I'm an arrogant idiot.

And I, you know, I used to think for a while that I was the greatest sponsor around. So I was kind of afraid that my sponsors would mess this beautiful program up because I, as I kind of conveyed it. So I started out writing a little, you know, little directions, taking stuff out of the big boot just so these idiots wouldn't, you know, mess up the program. You know what I'm saying?

And after a while of doing that, it kind of added on a little bit and I just saw that this was heading in the wrong direction.

You know what I'm saying? The directions are in the book. And it's fine for me to try to improve it. But for me, maybe, you know, maybe because I'm, I'm especially much of an idiot, I don't know. But for me, it's a slippery slope, you know, trying to improve on the program, you know, getting real specific while you have to do it this way and that way and, and kind of taking God out of the equation, you know what I'm saying? Being so specific that my sponsee didn't even feel like they had room

or to do, you know, to follow their insights like the Chapter 7 clearly tells us to do when working with income.

So maybe somebody is supposed to do something, you know, this way and do this thing and, and somebody else is supposed to do it another way. You know, I, I, I, I'm not a firm believer in rigidity at this point because I just have noticed it. It doesn't work for everybody. For some it may work really well and that's, and maybe their sponsor is getting there, you know, getting that feeling of this guy needs that, but it's not going to work for everybody.

And what I've been noticing is that there's a reason why in the 7th chapter

when they talk about working with others and in the big book in general, they, they talk about principles.

They talk about principles much more than, you know, at 3:00 AM, you're supposed to, you know, do this and do that, you know, change underwear and stuff like that.

It's and, and that's because it's much easier to maneuver, you know, within the, you know, just having their principles, spiritual principles to guide us that rather than rigid rules about doing this and that

anyway. So that's kind of been my experience,

experience with working out of the book.

The kind of the method I use, I think is is less important than, you know, kind of than the principles I follow.

And So what I tried to do, and this is an, there was a point in time I was sponsoring I think 32 guys

because nobody else could be a sponsor, right? I was the best sponsor. So like 1/2 assed job from my point. It's much better than you guys doing your best because I'm so much better than you, you know, like so a 10% effort for me is going to be better than your 100%, right? So that's why I took on guys, you know, just endless, you know what I'm saying? And I didn't return phone calls.

Because you know, one phone call a week from me is better than 10 from you guys, right? Because I'm so freaking great.

And you know, I found myself collecting sponsis, you know what I'm saying? And I was so glad when I got a sponsee that had some time and reputation in Alcoholics Anonymous and I got him over to me, you know what I'm saying? It kind of, I felt it kind of built upon my status and Alcoholics Anonymous, you know, especially if he had some sponsors of his own shit like that.

So, you know, there's no, there's no limit how insane you can get an Alcoholic Anonymous doing stuff

and give me something beautiful and

an unspoiled and innocent

and, and grate like a 12 step and I'll just disfigure it in 10 minutes. You know what I'm saying? Just completely mess it up.

That's fine. That's a part of the process.

So what I kind of finally got around to is that, you know, through, through a series of, of, of

hard experiences

was that I, I started after I got after I, you know, worked with a bunch of guys for some time. And I had had guys I was sponsoring on a regular basis, but we're through the work. They were working with others. I, I only worked with one guy at a time. And,

and, and that's again, I'm not saying, you know, you, you burn in hell if you work with Newton more than one newcomer, you know, at a time, because that's not what I'm saying. I'm, what I'm saying is just after I got to, to a place where I was sponsoring a bunch of guys, you know, that had gone through the work and they don't, you know, take all, all that much time, but still, it kind of gathers up. I found out that I I didn't have the time to work efficiently with more than one newcomer,

you know, and that number might be 5 for you guys. I don't know, I'm just relaying my experience

and it was kind of hard to let go of that, you know what I'm saying? Not to say yes to everybody and kind of that arrogance. So thank you that my people, you know, best would be better than your very best. You know what I'm saying?

So when I, so when I got to that point, you know, I, and I got guys asking me to work with them that I, I didn't have time for. I just didn't say no. I said, I'm sorry, I don't have time at this point. You know what, I wouldn't do a good job if I would say yes. And then I would lead them to somebody who could definitely work with them.

And that's, that worked really well, you know, and the way I won't want to go through this program today

with Gaiuses, I want to meet them two to three times a week physically and spend time with them. I, I don't want to spend a lot of time going through, you know, keeping them in the first, first three steps. And when I, I want to read to it pretty quickly and go through it pretty quickly to get them into that spiritual experience

again. You know, there are always exceptions and I have to use my insight. And I don't know if this is useful for anybody, but, but this is my experience that, that sometimes I, you know, if they've been around a, A for a long time, they know the book better than I do. They've been in Alcoholics Anonymous for 20 years, just relapsing, you know, but they've been here in these rooms

opposed to my 9 1/2 years.

You know, we, we sometimes just, we go through and we,

we do the third step together. We make sure the AP AP's and C's are there

and then the guide just starts writing, you know, after the very first time we meet. Because he needs to get God.

He's going to relapse in two days. And a lot of you guys have probably worked with guys like that. They can't stay sober for a week,

you know, they don't have the luxury of of, you know, diligent. What's the word here? Dilly something beautiful. Thank you.

About with this thing they, they need to get some solution and they need to get it as soon as possible. Then they can go over the nuances again. You know, when they, when they have the presence of mind and the chance to do so.

And as I said, I, I like to spend time with the guys I'm sponsoring. I, I really take it seriously to answer all calls, stuff like that. It's so

important. I've gotten, I've gotten a bunch of sponsors just from guys who don't answer the phone.

So thank you. If you're not answering the phone,

but still, you know, it's a, it's, I guess it's not really useful for the newcomer.

I return calls, you know, I, and I take it pretty seriously. And, and it really helped me to understand when I was working with you guys that I, I heard this from the speaker and this is something I really used a lot and help us help me out a lot. It's if, if they care, I have to care. But if they don't care, I can't care.

And so my enthusiasm is going to be based proportionally on their enthusiasm. I will see. And I don't know if I talked about this

in the meeting before, but I was I was working with a guy for a year

who called me and was probably an month period. He called me every single day and this was the limit. I was probably 2 years over at the time

you called me every single day and just, he didn't talk about anything, you know, and I could he, you know, he just, he, he just relayed the events of the day for me without ever in any context of working the steps or, or anything spiritual or anything based on his recovery. And that's OK. But it went on for like 7 or 8 months. And he didn't,

he didn't do do the steps to the best of his ability, but he had a resentment list. And there were two things on the resentment list. I remembered

people and my bank manager and that's it. That was his, that was his, that was his fifth step. You know what I'm saying? And this was not a guy who had any problems at processing things. He had a good brain, you know, he could read all that stuff.

He just, you know, didn't make the effort. And after about a year of this,

you know, I, I was always, well, he's trying to do something, he's calling at least, and stuff like that. And after about a year, I kind of realized that he was taking up time that I could be spending with other newcomers. And at that time, I was, you know, I was busy in alcohol synonyms. I had a lot of stuff to do. I was saying no to, to you guys. So what I basically learned how to, to tell him was that, you know, our relationship

is based kind of on the premises that you're, you want what I have to give,

you know what I'm saying? And that you show me by a course of action, not by your words, but by a course of action that you care about this thing and that, you know, you're, you're trying. Because the only authority I have in, in the lives of the guys I'm working with is how I spent my time. I don't believe I have any other authority. I, I, I don't have any authority. How, how, what they work, you know what the relationships are like or how you know when they stop seeing a girlfriend or start seeing or you know that's

concern. I'm not

and not the CEO of anybody who's life and that's not a part of my job description according to, you know, at least the way I read the big book. I'm there to relay my experience. And the only authority, the only power I have is how I spend my time. So I try to spend it wisely. And this is what I I say to guys when I start to work with them. I'm not their friend

if they need to talk about their feelings a lot. I'm probably, you know, without the context of the big book. I'm not saying I'm gonna kick everybody out that mentions the word feelings. I'm just saying if that's all they want to do, if they think I'm like a like a therapist or they expect me to drive them around everywhere and stuff like that without them doing any of the work, you know, they're mistaken. That's not my job. We have all kinds of, you know, we have dear John Collins in the newspapers. They can

right to. They have probably old friends and their mothers grandmothers they can talk to if they need a sympathetic ear. You know what I'm saying? That's not my job just to do that. That can don't misunderstand that can't be a part of my job if the guy I'm working with is doing the work. But if he's not, and if I sense he's not doing his best, and mind you, the, you know,

doing, doing one's best can mean all kinds of things

that totally depends on the guy you're looking. You know, sometimes just guys can't drive the force that they're not capable of doing. So, you know, that's fine. I'm not really rigid about it. But if I just get the strong feeling repeatedly that they don't, they don't care about this, I'm not going to care. And I explained that I never, I never ducked anybody as a sponsor. I never say I'm not going to be your sponsoring. I just, I just do this little spiel. I just explained what our relationship is based on

and it's nothing personal.

And I just explained to them, you know, I don't want to be your friend. I have enough friends. Perhaps in the future our friendship will evolve and it has done so with many of my sponsors, but that's not my primary job. My primary job is to share the experience of going through this work and getting closer to God so you don't have to drink again. If you don't want to do that,

why are we talking? You know why? Why are we meeting?

And I don't try to be anybody that I'm not,

you know, I don't try to be like a Krusty 50 year old guy who fought a man. You know what I'm saying? Being like all hardcore and

kind of, you know what I'm saying, Crusty. I just, I try to be sincere and tell the truth as I understand it and not to try to be hardcore or,

you know, given tough love or something like that.

That isn't a part of who I am. You know, I just tried to be sincere about it. And I, and I've set this stuff to a lot of guys with, with all kinds of past and they never took it badly, you know what I'm saying? Because they, I think they just sense I'm being sincere about it

and, and at least not to me, they've conveyed a sensor of redexion because that's not what I'm doing. I'm just kind of explaining, you know, what this relationship is going to be about.

I

kind of after, I, after I,

after I kind of say yes to a guy that I'm going to work with him.

I, I always take one session to introduce what we're going to do and kind of talk up a somewhat in the, in the kind of way enough of things like I've been, I've been discussing a little bit now. And that saves me that has, I've, I've done that probably for the last five years and that's saved me a lot of time, you know, because I tend to, if I just sit down and explain

in quite like, no uncertain terms

what this work is going to be like and how I do this program and what I have to offer.

It kind of reduces me spending a lot of time on, on guys that are not willing to do this or or don't care for the approach I take to this, this program. And I'm not saying they have less quality of sobriety than I have or anything like that. I'm just saying that, that I do the a, a program in a specific way. And it's not the only way. I'm not saying it's the right way. I'm not, you know, I'm not saying anything like that.

I'm just saying that I'm doing it in a way that has kept me sober. And I know quite a few guys

that need the same approach to stay sober.

And, and what I'm talking about is basically, you know, being

firmly based, you know, in God and the big book and a lot of work with other people, a lot of work with other people.

And,

and so if I explain these things right away and explain my approach, you know, that helps a great deal and that saves everybody a lot of time. And as I said, I, I know I'm hearing Alcoholics Anonymous to to represent or to not even represent, just to be here with the solution for that guy who's like me that needs the same approach that I do. Now, if

if a person needs something else,

she can, you know, that person can definitely find it in the rooms, lock off Anonymous. There's enough variety here. There's enough, you know, all kinds of approaches to this deal or or non approaches or, you know, not using the book at all, using slogans from Oprah Winfrey. And that's beautiful and fine, but that's not going to keep me sober. That's not going to get me sober. And I can't offer that kind of a program. You know,

my only purpose when working with a new guy today is to get him involved in the 12 step group and get that into the core of his being. Everybody that I've worked with and had has gotten that to the core of their being, that the 12 step is the foundation stone of the recovery. They don't get drunk.

It's happened, of course, but it happened much more rarely. People have to pretty work well at it if they have this idea of really that the first thing you turn to when the shit hits the fan is working with another alcoholic. If you have that idea really ingrained in you, you're going to work hard. You're going to have to work hard to get drunk. You can of course, if you, you know, if you apply yourself, but it's going to take some more work than than before.

And and so that's my

and so that's my only goal, not to make people dependent on me, but but to, you know, direct them to work. Scott

Not to, you know, train somebody to do as I say in it and, you know, admire my ways, but to, you know, go and seek out the newcomer and work with them, you know,

and, and just try to make. And I remember there was a speaker who said this that that I was kind of impressed by. He said,

you know, we that he made feeble attempts and working with others.

And I really like that because in the beginning I felt I wasn't worth it, you know, and I saw guys with a lot of sobriety talking all this shit, pardon my French, you know what I'm saying, sounding like they knew what the heck they were talking about and working with others. And I thought, well, these guys should be the ones, you know, let's leave it up to the experts to work with the newcomer. You know, I'll just, I'll just stay here and kind of relax and watch on the sidelines. And, and what I learned is that

that there's a guy out there who needs my

story, who needs my version of the big book. And he's not gonna, he's not gonna be able to hear the version of the guy with a 35 years, you know, who sponsored 2000 guys in his variety. He's not gonna be able to hear that guy. He needs my version of the big book. He needs my approach. That's, you know, and, and if God sends me somebody to work with,

that's because he needs to hear my version of this big book. Maybe it doesn't need to hear it, you know, for more than a week. And that's fine. You know, at least for that week, I won't be too obsessed about how I feel all the time, you know, because I'll be thinking about him a little bit. I'll be removed from myself a little bit

and

and I kind of realized that

that I don't need to be perfect about this, you know, 12 step deal. I don't need to say all the right things. I just need to be sincere and, and try to be do a spiritual program and try to follow these principles as fast as I can. You know what I'm saying? And, and just that, you know, being willing to just a simple thing like reading a newcomer at a meeting, you know, that's, that's, you know, in some groups that's forgotten art, you know what I'm saying? You come into a group and there's fifty people there and you feel like

because nobody greets you, you know,

and,

and that's kind of,

you know, it says the only, it doesn't talk the big book doesn't talk about meetings a lot. But they say that in, in the, in the closing of Bill's story, they talk about we, we gather frequently so that the newcomer may find the fellowship he seeks. And so basically the reason why we're gathering here is because, you know, so for, for the newcomer to find a place where you can go to, you know, where he can feel welcome,

not preach to or bullied into doing things our way, nothing like that, just being welcome.

And

and I just noticed so many times, you know, just a relief, you know, and a face when you just walk up to him and say, well, welcome to a meeting. Good to have you here. Nothing deep, you know what I'm saying? Nothing life changing, life shattering, nothing that's going to rock their world, you know, make them find God now,

you know, just being friendly, you know, just be and, and that goes a long way, you know,

and that's an excellent start. Every, every meeting I go to, I, if I don't, can't do it before the meeting, I tried to do it after the meeting tweet, at least the new guys that are there and I give them my number.

And you know, I give out 100 numbers and I get probably one or two phone calls, something like that,

which means I give out, you know, give out my phone number a lot. But but it's, it's the thing that works And

and about, you know, getting 12 step work, getting spawn sees. I don't, I don't believe sitting timidly at the sidelines like a like a 15 year old at a school dance hoping somebody's going to ask her to dance. You know what I'm saying? I don't believe in that. I'm doing 12 step. I go out and I, I go and seek it out because I really need to toss the foundation stone of my recovery, you know,

and I go to, I go to meetings and I, I seek it out when I, when I needed a drink.

I wasn't timid about that. I never was. I broke the laws, I was rude to people. I stole, I wrecked a whole lot of relationship because I needed that and I just went out and got it.

Of course I don't need to be, you know, that crass when seeking out 12 step work today, but I don't there's no reason to be timid about it. There's no reason to wait until somebody discovers me. You know,

I have to go out there and and seek it. And you know, it's really easy and Alcoholics Anonymous to date to seek it out. There's a lot of meetings all over the place, all kinds of service opportunities and a lot of newcomers out there that are waiting for your story. Not some old timer story, you know what I'm saying? They're waiting for your story, your version of the paper.

They need it. They're not going to get sober unless they hear it or something like it

so.

So that thing about some people being experts and doing that, I, I really don't believe in that. I just believe in if we're sincere and we we make ourselves available, that's, you know, what's going to keep us sober and it's going to be of some use in this fellowship.

I always explain to the guys I'm working with why I'm working with them. And that's outlaid in this Chapter 7 two, I explained that I'm not doing this for you. You know,

maybe on my good days I am, perhaps, you know, if I'm lucky enough, but I'm doing this to keep sober. I'm I'm doing this to stay sober. And that's what I said in the beginning when I came here. And I'm, I'm here to stay so open because this through experience, I have found that nothing works as efficiently against taking the first drink as working with another alcoholic or trying to carry this message. You know, and the beautiful thing is I don't get paid by results and Alcoholics Anonymous.

If you all think what I said to night is a bunch of crap.

What a strange Icelandic version of the big book this is, you know what I'm saying? That's fine. It really doesn't matter because I'm sincerely trying to carry this message to the best of my abilities. And I I get, and it's kind of like,

I don't know if that goes for the United States, but we make fun of government employees in in Iceland because I am a government employee. I feel entitled to do so here