The Frisco Group in Frisco, TX

I love this program, but even on the drive up here as my wife and I were praying, we said God help us to remember

that the most important service work that goes on in a A does not come from a podium.

And I pray God will never let me become so intrigued by speaking from behind a podium that I forget that the most important service work in a A does not come from behind the podium. And I want you all to all know that. So don't envy the speakers,

OK, Very good. So

but before I start let me say this, a lot of people would ask us when me and Norma go places, can y'all send us some CDs or something? So what we did is we just hooked up a website and put stuff on that website and you can just go there and download it. So it's just Dave and norma.com. You will very rarely ever hear Dave by the way, I am blind Dave and I don't mind being called that, but you'll always hear blind Dave and Norma. It's just you can't hardly separate us.

And so it's Dave and Norma. Com. You can go there and see if you want to listen to some stuff. It's download it, give it away, whatever you want to do. So remember that Dave and norma.com and also Norma is going to be speaking at that primary purpose group in Arlington. And I am too, aren't I? Yeah, yeah, I'm going to be speaking in the afternoon. The three, I think 3:00 in the afternoon. But Norma's going to be the main speaker that evening at their anniversary celebration, January 10th. So we'll e-mail somebody up here and get a flyer into y'all's hands

and that some of y'all want to come do that. OK, great. Cool. OK, well, you know that I'm going to start tonight from Bill Story and I'm not going to tell you my story. I'm tell you, Bill.

So in chapter one, Bill said this, he said my friend promised this is when Abby brought him those you know, the program, the steps as from the Oxford group. But he said, my friend promised that when these steps were taken, I would enter upon a new relationship with my Creator

and would have the elements of a way of living which answered all my problems.

Then he says, as I lay in the hospital, Ebby left and Bill went back to his room. There in the hospital. He said as I lay in the hospital. The thought came,

But there must be thousands of hopeless Alcoholics who would be glad to have what have been so freely given to me. Perhaps I could help some of them. They in turn might help others. My friend had emphasized the absolute necessity of demonstrating his principles and all my affairs. Particularly, he had said it was imperative to work with others as he had worked with me,

for if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self sacrifice for others, he could not survive the certain trials in those spots ahead. My wife and I abandoned ourselves with enthusiasm to this idea of helping other Alcoholics find the solution to their problems. It was fortunate for my old business associates remain skeptical for a year and a half, during which time I found a little work.

I was not too well at the time

and was plagued with waves of self pity and resentment. He was getting upset that nobody would hire him

and he was depressed and all that but waves of self pity and resentment. This nearly sometime drove me back to drink.

But I soon found that when all other measures failed, work with another alcoholic would save the day.

Now, notice he said it was fortunate.

What was fortunate? Was it fortunate that Bill did not find any work for a year and a half? Now I don't think that's what he met was fortunate.

I think what he meant was fortunate was that he and his wife abandoned their self with enthusiasm to this idea of helping other Alcoholics.

Why was that fortunate? Well, because his friend had said that if he failed to do that, he could not survive the certain trials in those spots ahead.

So it's fortunate that he did that.

What most spots are we talking about? The waves of self pity and resentment? Yes, that's that's a that's a trying low spot. He was playing with waves of self feeding resentment. Did working with other Alcoholics get him out of that? Yes, it did, he said. I soon found when all of the measures failed, work with another alcoholic would save the day. So it did get him out of himself, as we say. But what about the year and a half during which time he found little work?

Did working with other Alcoholics answer that need?

You bet it did, he said. My friend promised that when these steps were taken, I would enter upon a new relationship with my Creator and would have the elements of a way of living which answered all my problems.

Not only his drinking problem, not only his waves of self pity and resentment, not only his year and a half of that. All of them.

We have quite a program here. And that's what Bill got excited about because he heard that, see, he heard him say the elements of a way of living which would address all your needs.

And he got excited about that. He said my wife and I banning ourselves with enthusiasm

to what? Helping other Alcoholics? He said there must be thousands of hopeless Alcoholics would be glad to have what have been so freely given to me. Is he talking about a way to get sober? That? But not only that, he said, my wife and I banning our show with enthusiasm for this idea of helping other Alcoholics find a solution to their problems.

This program is all-encompassing

your whole life

and all the needs that you're going to have in it.

Look at step one, it says. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol. Part A, Part B, that our lives had become unmanageable.

And when you get to step three, it says we made a decision to turn our will and our lives over the care of God as we understood him. No mention of alcoholism.

So by the time we get to step three, we need to realize that

I'm turning my will in my entire life over to this program. I'm going to learn to apply this program to all aspects of it. So let's take a little bit of a look at step three. First of all, as a foundation here, let me mention that on page 28 of the Big Book, it says whatever our race, creed, or color,

we are all children of a living Creator with whom we may form a relationship upon simple and understandable terms as soon as we are willing and honest enough to try.

So notice that it says that when I go to form a relationship with my Creator, it will be upon terms.

Terms and Conditions.

This experience that I'm going to have with my higher power is on simple and understandable, clearly defined terms,

and I need to know what they are. And I find those terms out in the middle of page 63 where we are doing step three, made a decision to turn our will and life over to the care of God as we understood Him. It says when we sincerely took such a position,

all sorts of remarkable things followed. Notice it did not say a remarkable thing happened. I got sober.

It's, yes, that's pretty remarkable.

But then it goes on to say all sorts of remarkable things followed

when we sincerely took such a position.

What positions?

The position as described by the terms it says we had a new employer being all powerful. He provided what we needed. If

now the price tag is attached to it,

that's a pretty good deal. He is all powerful.

Whoa. Is anything outside of his reach, anything he can't do and he will provide. Anything left out, he will provide what you need. Anything excluded?

Well, if that's true, then I better see what this if is because I want that. I want that all powerful, providing what I need

and taking away my difficulties. That victory over them will bear witness to those I'm going to help. I won't in on that,

so if I will keep close to him and perform his work well.

Which, by the way, translates to our primary purpose, to stay sober and help another alcoholic to achieve sobriety.

That's what God asked me to do. And look what He said He would do for me if I would do that,

manage my life in a remarkable way with all his power. All sorts of remarkable things would begin to happen if I would make a commitment

to stay sober

in order to help other Alcoholics achieve sobriety,

the Big Book says. We have been given a great sense of purpose. That's our primary purpose,

and it is accompanied by a growing consciousness of the power of God in our lives.

So I'm going to have, as I participate in that primary purpose, I'm going to have an experience with God

working not along beside me,

uh, managing all aspects of my life, giving me a story to tell.

We vigorously commence this way of living. As we cleaned up the past, we have entered the world of the Spirit.

When I enter into this, this agreement with God, that's what step three is it. God says I will do this if you will do this. Do you agree?

And it tells you to think well before taking that step.

God takes it very serious. God is putting all himself into what He's offering you,

and He wants a commitment from me and you

to stay sober to help another alcoholic achieve sobriety. And

if God's really going to do all that stuff he said he would do, if I would do that,

then there is absolutely nothing in this world more important than for me to do that. Because everything I need from this all powerful being is going to come to me

in response to my participation in that.

So I better realize real quick

that my life being managed in a remarkable way is attached to that. And we vigorously commence this way of living. I vigorously. I'm going to get excited about it just like Bill did. Enthusiastic. Whoa, man, it sounds like a good deal to me. We vigorously commence this way of living. As we cleaned up the past, we have entered the world of the Spirit.

What does that mean? And I'm gonna put on a suit and go to church every Sunday. The world of the Spirit?

No, though some of us do that. I'm just now kind of starting to creep back into the back doors of church a little bit, sit on the back row, see what's going on there.

I don't know if I'm trying not to let them scare me or may not scare them. I don't know,

but I'm checking it out and I've been there before. I went there before I came day A, and I'm now kind of tripping back in that direction a bit. But that's not what we mean by we've entered the world in the spirit.

We mean we have entered into a clear understanding of a contractual agreement with a higher power and we have a partnership here. He is my employer and I am his employee and he pays well and I'm going to have a supernatural experience of watching him do that.

And we have ceased fighting with anything or anyone, even alcohol. And notice again, it's not just about not drinking, is it?

We have ceased fighting with anything. I told you it was all inclusive.

Anything or anyone

and even alcohol,

for by this time sanity will have returned. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God it wants to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately, Make amends quickly if we've harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help.

You know, my first sponsor used to hammer this passage so much that it began to annoy me.

You know, he was he was the the old guy in our a group. In fact, he founded my Home group. And so I was real honored when I asked him if he'd be my sponsor. I thought, wow, I've got the I've got the grandpa of the group to be my sponsor, you know, and and and he was about 80 years old, I guess. And every time in the meeting, whenever somebody said, well, how about you, Ed? You got something on shared day he go yeah.

Are you continuing to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear? And are you continuing to ask God move this cutting off after a while I thought, oh God,

I mess. It's got to be my sponsor. He only knows one passage from the big book.

You know, you walk into western trails any day and and if you're if you're Halo wasn't on just right, he'd say, how's your serenity today, boy? And you'd say, well, it's it's off a little bit today. It'd say, well, are you continuing to watch for selfishness?

Have you asked God your movement? No, I haven't done that right yet. Then you haven't made them in. You haven't discussed it with your sponsor. You haven't made amends quickly. You haven't turned your thoughts. Someone you can help? No, I haven't done that yet, Ed.

And he'd say, well, thank God,

because if you hadn't done that and still felt this way, I wouldn't know what to tell you.

It said this was a ranch that would fit any nut. And he applied it to everything. And I thought, oh God, here we go again. You know, and but I'll tell you when one day

I get a little bit of a disability check from Social Security.

And one day I had just finished all this night step stuff and was beginning to get some relief from the fear of financial insecurity. Y'all know And but I got a letter from Social Security right before Thanksgiving

and we opened it up and it said your check is going to be cut $600 a month starting the 1st of December.

Two week notice

and the fear of financial insecurity that I had just gotten rid of a little bit jump back on me with a vengeance. In fact, it was crushing me to the ground.

And in that desperate moment of terror,

I heard the voice of God.

Actually, he sounded kind of like Ed,

He said. Ask Time to remove that fear at once, boy. Discuss it with someone immediately. Make amends quickly if you've harmed anyone, and resolutely turn your thoughts to someone you can help.

And I remember thinking, what does resolutely mean?

Well, this was right at the front end of the Christmas season. I knew that right after Christmas, people were going to make New Year's resolutions. And I, I knew that what they meant was come January 1st, bless God, they was going to quit smoking or going to diet or something. But they meant they was going to dig in their heels and, and brace themselves and lean into that thing and push against it and resist. And with resolve, that's what we're talking about with resolve.

So I figured if I was supposed to resolutely turn my thoughts to someone I could help,

that meant it wasn't going to be easy.

That meant that I was going to have to lean into that fear and push against it and push through it and and not let it wrap me up in myself and my stuff and push through it. Reach out and help somebody else.

You know, everyone of us is going to have a day in our program. It's it's neat to get sober and have the first few months and hear and smile and go to the barbecues and the dances. But every day one of you is going to get that letter in the mail or that something and all of a sudden it's

it's you and God

and you're either going to do it,

are you not? It's not a theory. We have to live it.

And so I thought, OK, and I tightened up my belt. I called my sponsor. I reported in about my fear. I asked God, remove it. I, I, you know, discussed it with someone, immediately made my amends. I resolutely began turning my thoughts to someone I could help. I started going to meetings. Instead of going to meetings trying to stay sober for another day, I started going to meetings to see who I could help stay sober for another day.

I started listening to people talking that meeting not for the ones sharing great stuff that, but for the ones who seem to be struggling.

And I'd go find him after the meeting and pray with them,

say anything I could to encourage them. I didn't know much at the time

but I started finding myself going home and be reading my big book later and go oh wow, this is just what I needed to share with that guy this morning. I wished I'd have known this. I'd make a note of it in my book. I'd go back to meeting tomorrow looking for him.

I wanted to read him that.

It changed my whole perspective of reading the big book to all of a sudden my whole program became more about who I can help

then me trying to stay sober.

And I want you to know that I got into that

and when I got that letter from Social Security I thought oh God there goes Christmas this year. I want you to know that me and my wife went through a great Christmas. There was number lack of presents under the tree. We came to the 1st of January and sat down to figure our bills. We do the budget twice a month, the first a month in the middle of the month and we had enough money in the bank to pay the bills for the first half of the month. And we said there wasn't sure how that happened.

And then Norma says why don't we go ahead and just kind of figure the whole month and see how it looks. And I thought,

I don't know if I want to look that far into the future, you know,

but I said, OK, let's go ahead and figure it up. So we added it up and on paper it said we was going to hit the end of January, $500 short.

And I said but Norma if you get scared, ask God that wants to remove that fear of discussion with someone.

Make commands quick. If you harn anyone resolutely turn your thoughts someone you can help. And I want you know, this is where my wife and I became joined at the hip and what this program is really about.

And we came to the 1st of February and sat down to figure our bills. We had enough money to pay the bills.

Wasn't sure how that happened.

1st of March, 1st of April,

1st of May.

Somewhere around about that time I began to

you know, you begin to readjust your life around change circumstances and before long it just kind of all balance, you know, you regain a new equilibrium. But during that five months, including Christmas, I can't explain really what happened. I I've sat down before. I'm trying to figure out how do we get through that. There was some obvious things, didn't really explain it all.

But I remember toward the end of February,

right down at the end of the month, I thought, I better call the bank and see how much money is in the checking account. We don't want to start bouncing checks. And we're right down to the last few dollars according to our bookkeeping, you know. And so I called the bank and it says you have $500 in your checking account,

$500.

Have I made a $500 miscalculation here? I I don't think so.

You say What are you saying that God dropped $500 in your bank account?

I don't know if I've entered into the world of the Spirit that much,

but I don't know that I haven't either. I don't know what to say,

but I can tell you I was really excited and happy and I ran and grabbed my gratitude journal because I keep one of those too. And so I went flipping through my gratitude journal because I was going to write about this in my February entry there. And as I'm flipping through that journal to get to the February page, as I passed by the January page, I noticed an entry there in January said I called the bank today. There was $100 in the bank, more than I thought I had. I thought I remember that.

It happened in January too.

You know, in March

there was a night I was up all night Friday night and Saturday came around. I didn't get a chance to sleep and I was up all day Saturday. And by the end of Saturday I was wasted and really ragged out. They had been announcing there was going to be a good speaker to our Home group. And so Saturday evening Norman said, what do you want to do tonight? You want to go somewhere or something? I said, oh, no, not really. I'm, I said there's supposed to be a good speaker over at the Home group. I said, we'll go there. You can listen to the speaker and I can doze in the chair if I need to.

So we drive up, it's 5 minutes to 8 and as we're walking up the door flies open and the chairperson come out and grab me and said Dave, our great speaker just called and cancelled.

And I said yeah.

He said, Will you speak

now? I had never spoken before.

I had just started going to a detox unit of treatment center with different people and taking my little few minute turn and I was working at trying to get better at that.

But all these people gathered to hear this great speaker and me step in and fit. No way. And I said I I said I didn't sleep all night. I've been up all day and I don't have the presence of mind. I can't do this. I can't do this enormous that you can do it, Dave. And she drugged me aside and prayed with me, just like y'all saw her pop me up here

and see, they took me in there and popped me up behind that podium. And they said, well, with five minutes notice, here's Brian. Dave

and I started out kind of rough

and I said, well,

I'm blind, Dave. I was born in Houston, TX in 1948 I think,

and and I was trying to pull it together, but I struggled a little bit there. But about, I don't know, 10 minutes into it or something, I felt something happen.

You know, you hear people say I found a groove or I connected or so I don't know. I think it was a God experience what it felt like, you know, I felt like something laid hold of me.

I remember one time I was about 15 or 16, some of my buddies, one of them, you know, finally got old enough to get our first car and he had his driver's license in a car and we all went out on a Sunday evening drive. We went down some dirt country Rd. And it had been raining real hard and we slid off in the ditch and sunk deep in the mud off in that ditch down this country Rd.

We were stuck good. And one of them got out, walked back to the main highway and hitchhiked back to town and got a record truck to come out there and drive down this dirt road. And he they could, it was so muddy. He that truck couldn't get that close to us. I had to run a long chain down there and hook onto that car. And they said, okay, accelerate a little bit and we're going to start taking the slack out of this chain. And I'm sitting in the front seat with this guy who's accelerating a little bit and, and all sudden that chain caught. You know that when the slack comes out, you feel like

and you just you're in tow, you that car just sliding around. But he's pulling us out. That big old truck will just pulling us out of that mud.

And that's the way I felt that night.

And you know, it's still in my deepest experiences to this day. I've had lots of them since then and they're always connected to turning your thoughts to someone you can help. But that night I was struggling. I was in the mud and all of a sudden could shoot. Something just latched on to me and pulled me through and it was great. I wished I had the tape

and those people jumped and cheered and I mean, I was the man of the hour and it really felt good. It really did feel good, man.

And they were all coming up to me and talking to me afterward. And and so then we're driving home when it's all over and now I'm sleepy again because excitements all over. And we get home and and walk in the house and Norma says, oh, said somebody gave me a note that someone gave to them to give to me to read to you when we get home.

I said, cool, was it safe? And she unfolded that note in $500 that all of it.

And that got us through March,

and I was introduced or initiated into the truth of this program. If you will keep close to him and perform his work well, he will provide what you need and take away your difficulties. The Big Book says both you and the new men must walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress. If you persist, remarkable things will happen.

When you look back, you'll realize that the things which came to you when you put your life in God's hands,

what's better than anything you could have planned?

Follow the dictation of your Higher Power and you will presently live in a new and wonderful world,

no matter what your present circumstances.

So what are the dictates of your Higher Power?

Keep close to Him and perform His work well to cheat and you're in tow. You are in tow and you will presently live in a new and wonderful world. No matter what you're going through, no matter what your present circumstance, God will lay hold of you and pull you out of the mud. Does keeping close to Him and turning your thoughts to someone you can help get you out of yourself? Well, of course it does,

but is

is that all? No, it brings God into the situation and puts me and my present circumstance in God's hands. It says when we look back, we realize that the things which came to us when I put myself in God's hands when I put my life in God's hands, How do I put my life in God's hands? I asked God. It wants to remove it, discuss with similar media, and make a man's quickly Bob harmed anyone and turn my thoughts to someone I can help with resolve. Push through the fear, reach out. It ain't about me.

Don't let fear paralyze me from thinking I can help somebody else.

Follow the dictates of your higher power

and you will presently live in a new and wonderful world. You keep close to Him and perform His work well. And to cheat you're in tow. You'll you'll feel that slack come out of that chain and God lay hold of you in whatever circumstance. And when I formed a relationship with my Creator, it was upon simple and understandable terms.

And when I agreed to those terms, that step three, that was the decision. I agreed to the terms and I put my life in God's hands. When I act upon my primary purpose, I activate a supernatural experience of having God manage my life and provide what I need

and all sorts of remarkable ways It says

so, the Big book says, like a gaunt prospector belt drawn in over the last ounce of food. A pig struck gold.

Are you catching the vision?

Your pick will strike gold like a gaunt prospector belt drawn in over the last ounce of food. I got it. I see what you mean.

Our pick struck gold

joy at our release from the life of frustration. Are you frustrated with trying to manage life? Trying to wrestle satisfaction and happiness out of life.

Catch the vision. Strike gold. Joy at our release from that life of frustration,

it says, knew no bounds. We feel we have struck something better than gold.

Do I have all the goals that I need? No. Am I worried about that? Nope. That's better than go.

I don't have to worry about how much gold I do or don't have.

I've got a a deal going with a higher power and I clearly understand the terms. My friend promised that when these things were done, I would enter upon a new relationship with my creator

and would have the elements of a way of living which answered all my problems. And that's better than gold.

Y'all know the story of Bill Wilson. You know it for all that time he didn't have work and finally he had a job opportunity and they sent him down to Akron and and they promised him that if he did good on this little assignment with this company, they would give him a permanent position with the company. Y'all are familiar with that story, aren't you? Okay, you can read about this in Chapter 11, and it says from a business standpoint, his trip came off badly.

Had he been successful in his enterprise,

he would have been set on his feet financially, which at the time seemed important. What time? This is the depression, the middle of the depression. Been without work for quite a while,

which at the time seemed important, but his venture wound up in a lawsuit and bogged down completely. I mean, he didn't just not sell any brooms or whatever he was doing. He got drug into court. It says the proceeding was the proceeding was shot through with much hard feeling and controversy. It it, it became a a legal battle and got ugly. And Bill was in the middle of it, probably did not even know he was stepping off into a hornet's nest.

Bitterly discouraged, he found himself in a strange town.

Discredited. His reputation was shot

and almost broke.

One dismal afternoon, he paced the hotel lobby wondering how his bill is to be paid. He wanted to get out of town. It's getting ugly here. He had the money to check out.

It's a dismal day, it says. One dismal afternoon, he paced the hotel lobby, wondering how his bill was to be paid. That's where I was the day I got that letter,

the dismal afternoon. We're all going to have them.

Then he began to hear tinkling glasses down at the end of the hall, didn't he?

It's not good for me to stay in a place like that.

In his mind, he began to drift toward them tinkering glasses.

Y'all know the story, it says. But what about his responsibilities? I used to have them thoughts when I was, you know, it's two in the morning and you're trying to think of where to get another drink and, and you're thinking I'm supposed to go to work in the morning. What am I going to tell the boss? How long did it take you to come up with what she's going to tell the boss?

Then he says what about his family? What am I going to tell the wife when I didn't come in tonight? How long did it take you to come up with that one?

None of them things ever stopped me

from reaching for the next drink.

Then it says, what about the men who will die

because they will not know how to get well? Where dead voice come from

sounds like the same voice, he said. What you remember back down that hope that the hospital room and he says suddenly the thought came, there must be thousands of hopeless Alcoholics. Maybe I could help some of them.

I think this thought came from the same place that one did.

And here he is about to reach for a drink and something says, what about the men who gonna die

because you won't be there?

He says, oh, yeah, they're mother Alcoholics. I bet there's a bunch in this town. What other Alcoholics? The ones he saw in his vision back there on that hospital bed,

God reminded him,

I don't have that vision. There's going to be some low spots and trials ahead.

Oh yes, some other Alcoholics. I bet there's a bunch in this town. He had it says his sanity returned and he thanked God he headed for the phone. You all know the story. He made phone calls until someone set him up with Doctor Bob

and and he met doctor Bob the next day. The story goes on to have a great ending how to him and Bob got together and then they formed the whole summer he was there with doctor Bob. The 1st A a group was formed and and a a was born out of that story. And I'm reading through it going wow. Well, wow, what a great ending. What a great ending. And then one day I thought, hey, wait a minute,

Bill, you never did tell us how you got out of that jam back there on that dismal afternoon.

Myself wondered. You know what? I can't tell you how me and Norma got through them five months either.

You can't explain it.

It's the world of the Spirit

and Bill carried the message Doctor Bob and and start showing the steps and then he come to that step 9 making a men's thing. And Doctor Bob said, no, ain't no way. And why he argued, should I, should I

ruin the rest of my business my foolishly admitting my problem to people from whom I make my livelihood? You know, sometimes, sometimes it looks foolish, doesn't it? Foolishly. Oh my God, you think I'm going to do that? Ain't no way

why? He argued. Should I do something foolish?

I remember one time a few years ago we had a hailstorm in South Austin, a bad hail storm. I've heard of these kind on the news but I've never been in one. I'm sitting in my room about mid in the living room about midnight one night folding clothes and it is in October. Nice time of the year, had the windows open and all that stuff.

And I heard some Thunder off in the distance. I thought, oh cool, it's gonna rain. I love rain. Little while later, the Thunder booms a little closer and I thought, oh wow, it's coming this way. And a few minutes later it didn't rain. It sounded like a giant duck truck backed up to my house and dumped a load of rocks

on my house. And, you know, I've been, I've been where it rains and then it rains real hard and then all sudden you start hearing a little bit of hail in the rain, you know, go out starting to hail now, y'all, you know, that's what it usually is. There was no rain. It was just hell. And it hailed 10 minutes of big old hail, golf ball size hail for about 10 minutes before it ever started to rain.

It scared me. I went woke, Norma, and said we need to pray.

And it ruined my roof. And so I called the, you know, the, yeah, the insurance adjuster guy, he comes out and he looks at my roof and he comes down and says, just so you got about $3200 worth of damage up there. He says, and you have a $900 deductible. Oh, God. And he says, and you've got a year to settle this claim. And I said, well, good, because I need a year to save up my $900 deductible.

So I didn't think any more about that. That was in October. We swung all the way around to the next June and in June I thought, oh wow, I've got a few more months

to come up with my $900 deductible.

So I called a roofer to come out and and look at it and give me a bid and he come down. He said about $5000. I said no, not $5000 that that insurance adjuster told me 3200. He said, well, he must not have looked very good. He said you got a double roof on this house and I'm going to take both of them off to put a new one on. He said because of whoever put this, put this up there didn't do it right. And water has leaked under there and all your decking's rotten.

And he said in your two before, is it jet out past the wall

way around the house and your fascia is rotten all the way around the house. He said I'm gonna have to redo all that to put a roof on. And he said, and that's not hail damage. Your insurance company isn't gonna cover that at all. Oh God, a dismal afternoon.

And then Norma walked in and said, hey, guess what? I can retire five years early earlier if we buy back that five years of my retirement. And what price?

She said I can get it for $42150. I said I'm trying to do this roof thing right now. I said oh God, don't hit me with that on. I said date, no way forget that. She said well that's that's only good till October. After October it's going up. I said I got to get the roof done by October.

So I go to bed that night and I'm learning to do my evening inventory pretty good, you know, and, and, and, and I'm so I'm fear. Yes, there's some fear. I found the fear in my inventory. So I ask God to remove it. I jump in bed. I plan to get up the morning, call my sponsor and discuss it with him immediately. You know, that's, that's the way the deal is. I'm finally learning it, you know, And as I'm going to sleep, I heard that little voice

that I'm starting to get familiar with.

So did you ever finish paying for your seeing eye dog?

Don't bring that up now. I don't want to hurt, you know. I'm asking you for help, God, not to add to the prophet. Yeah, and I said that couldn't be God. I tried to put my head under the pill and go to sleep.

I got up the next day. See, back in 82, I went and got a CNI dog. They used to give them dogs away, but they found out that we'd take better care of them if they made us pay some so. And they said, they said we don't care how you pay it. You can pay a dollar a month, you can pay $5. We don't care what you do. You just pay it. Don't get some charity organization to pay it for you or something like that. You pay it. I said cool, no pressure. I went back to Texas,

went through another divorce. You know, we all got a lot of those, don't we

then? And in the process of that, I walked away from that marriage with a lot of debt. And I'm trying to pay all this stuff off. And since seeing I didn't seem to be really pressuring me, I thought, I don't know what I did with that one. I thought I put it on the back burner and I may have just forgot all about it. I don't know. But it was 20 something freaking years ago. Hadn't thought of it in a long time. And I said, God, I need some help in it. Did you finish paying for your CNN? That couldn't be God. God wouldn't do that to me.

Why should I buy foolishly admitting my perspective? You know, it's just like Doctor Bob.

And so I get up the next day and I'm walking around the house. When that couldn't have been God. That couldn't have been God. I've been sober for a while now and all has been going well. I don't have to think about that right now. No, that wasn't my men's list. I had forgotten all about that one. It couldn't have been God. Finally, I got myself talked out of believing that was God. And you know what? You can talk yourself out of thinking it was God if you want to.