The 1966 Monteagle Roundup in Monteagle, TN

You pray and then you do it yourself.

I think that's fabulous. Maybe you don't like it,

my Reg Skelton. I think the wrong bus came in tonight.

You pray and then you do it yourself.

You've heard many times in this fellowship, if you pray for potatoes, reach for the whole. You know

if you pray for potatoes, reach for the whole.

God helps those who help themselves. You know, it says that in a good book.

God helps those who help themselves. Now I think of this power greater than ourselves as the reserve tank.

You know, on your gasoline tank you got some reserve there on the side,

but it never comes on to the reserve until you've run out of your other gasoline.

I think of this power greater than ourselves as a reserve tank

when we have run out of our own resources

than what we lack is supply. But our first chore is to do it ourselves.

This Catholic priest in the

Jewish rabbi was sitting at a price fight,

and one of the boys that were fighting ducked down his corner and crossed himself. And rabbi says to Catholic father, he says, what does that mean?

And the priest says don't mean a damn thing if you can't fight.

You know,

I,

I,

you pray and then you do it yourself. You see?

Here are the steps we took now. It does not say here are the steps we read. Here are the steps we heard read.

Here are the steps we discussed in last night's discussion meeting.

Don't say that

it don't say. Here are the steps we interpreted.

We say that

if you're still nipping a little and want to keep on, just interpret the steps.

You can dip and interpret and interpret and nip and nip and interpret and then you nip and don't interpret.

Don't say yeah the steps we interpreted.

Neither does it say, here are the steps we conned God into taking force. They don't say that

here the steps we con guard didn't be taken for us. It says here are the steps we took.

Now, God has a tremendous place in this program of ours, and without Him we would have no program and we would have no sobriety.

But it is not to take these steps. For me this is my job.

Here are the steps I took

and take

T double OK took. This is my job

now. At the beginning of step #12, it says having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps.

Why do we with our keen alcoholic brains,

think that we can have a spiritual awakening as the result of 11 steps that we took,

You know,

since having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps? Well, this implies that we've taken 11 steps before we get to the 12, that we have applied these things to us

and yet we don't do it.

We tell each other, oh, it's, you know, it's not particularly important how you take them, when

you take them as you feel like it or you don't have to take them one to three. 578-910-1112 take one and 12.

We hear a lot about two stepping in this society. There's no such thing as two step.

There is any such thing as A2 stepper. There's a half of the 1st and a third of the 12th and I don't even make one.

We admitted we're powerless over alcohol and ran to carry the message.

That's not even one step.

Not even one. It's 1/2 and 1/3.

How you gonna carry a message? Ain't got?

Says in the back of the book.

It is obvious that we cannot transmit something that we do not have.

See to it that your own house is in order.

You see, why can't we read these things

and do them?

You know, kids, we're dealing with one of the most insidious and one of the most destructive things in life.

Alcoholism is a terminal disease.

It is a terminal disease

and it is progressive

and the only thing ahead of you am I.

If we keep breaking is permanent insanity or an alcoholic death.

Just two things can happen to us. Permanent insanity or an alcoholic death.

Serious deal. And yet we tell each other you don't have to take a written inventory.

I heard a guy, we had one how to read on the beach.

He'd get up this podium and say I've been sober five years.

I have never taken a written inventory. I never read that book. Clear through. You don't let him tell you got to do this or that. You did say you don't. I'm sober.

He got up to six and he got up to seven, but he didn't make 8.

He's drunk right now.

Here are the steps we took. Now there's a very definite reason

for taking these steps

because the key to sobriety, the key to this new way of life

is the acceptance of ourselves completely and totally as a defeat in the business, living as a as a failure in the business, living to accept defeat,

to be able to abandon ourselves completely,

completely.

Because you see, we got to roll with the stone before we can get help from God. We got to roll away the stone

some for us to do,

and the first nine steps of this program are there for the primary purpose of squeezing us out of ourselves.

We're in a vice, and every one of those steps is just tightening advice a little bit. And pretty soon, the damned Eagles gone.

People say to me all the time, Chuck, how do you surrender? How do you surrender?

The first nine steps will surrender anybody that will apply them to himself.

You can't. You can't do it and not become surrendered. You got to. Let's look at them for just a second. With this,

the first step is A2 fold admission of defeat.

I admit that I am an alcoholic, that my life is unmanageable.

Well, now this is not according to my former pattern. I have left 43 years

and I never admitted that I couldn't run my own life and I never admitted that I was powerless over one ounce of Flint either.

This

is a total and complete turnabout in thinking and action.

We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol. Imagine a drunk doing that

and that my life was unmanageable by me.

This is just a direct reverse of the way I've lived for 43 years.

Came to believe that Far Greater Than Self could restore Saturday.

A left-handed admission, whereas nutty as a fruitcake.

We're nuts.

Fire gated himself. He gets in that step through it. I got to tell you this little and I was listening to a colored boy, 35 ish

son of a gal that's been in our program for a long time.

And he was talking a little and he said, you know, he said, I think I always, I always realize that there's power that kept the universe in order, kept the planets from bumping into each other and that sun come up

since I think I've always recognized this, but it has never occurred to me. There's bigger than I am.

I

easy.

That's us, you know.

Came to believe that Power Greater himself could restores to sanity. We're nuts. No, used to restore a sane man to sanity, you see. So the squeeze plays on. We're in the vice. This is absolutely contrary to this keyed alcoholic mind of mine.

3rd step, you got to get a new driver.

Now, how many of you alkies ever voluntarily surrendered the wheel?

Did you just go out to the parking lot and say, honey, you better take keys? I'm drunk

like hell you did,

he says. Get in if you're going. I'm driving. It's my car,

if you don't want to ride with me, get a cab

that we don't give them 2 bucks to get a cab with.

We fight them all over the parking lot for two hours.

Here we got to get a new driver just in the third step. This is just three

a new driver made a decision to turn our Wellness over the care of God.

Well, what's this doing to that thing called ego? What is this doing to a thinking and action process of, in my case, 43 years?

It's destroying it. That's what it's doing.

It's completely destroying it

now. If you think the next one is an eagle building, get your thick pad and a long pencil and start writing.

Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Now this is a switch

to a guy that stated everybody's inventory that he ever saw, but he's old

for years. Well, I was an expert on your inventory.

I can tell you what's wrong with you. I've crossed the room. I didn't have to get close.

Well, this is different taking. We take a

have moral inventory thorough moral inventory of ourselves. You know,

made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Me.

So we sit down with ourselves and we write down there on that thing,

our motivations

for action.

What is what's been transpiring in my life? What's what have I been doing? What is my motivation? A thorough and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

This don't mean that I got to put down there every time I turned left when it should have turned right. It's the intent, it's the motive. It's the the thing that makes us tick that we want to look at,

you know,

and the squeeze players definitely

and #5 is worse than all four of them

#5 is a king size eagle killer.

Because it says here that we admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being, to another person,

the exact nature of our wrongs. Well, now I can write it down and I've got it. I'm in possession of it. I can admit to God and to me

hidden out behind the house, and nobody knows yet but me and God. It's still quite a secret,

but when I

lay this dirty linen out in front of another human being,

well, if you got any ego left after that, you ain't done it.

Get honest,

this is a killer. Nothing in me that I won't share.

Nothing to hold back.

Lay that buck right out on the table and go over it with it.

Another human being,

a man or woman that you feel you can

talk with in confidence. The Priester preacher or somebody?

I like it with another alcoholic

because I'm funny that way.

We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another individual the exact nature of her wrongs.

And then we became willing to give this muck away.

We've done a bad job.

We've done a bad job.

We can't get rid of these things on our own. If we could have, we would have.

So we become entirely ready

to give them away, to have God remove all these defects of character, and we humbly ask Him to remove our shortcut.

We become willing to give them away and we give them away.

Now, I'm a simple guy.

I do not believe it's necessary for us to pull these defects of character back out of the trash bin for years and years and years and beat her brains out with them.

I don't read my book like that.

My book says I became willing to give them away and I gave them away.

And I'm simple enough. People say, how'd you know if I haven't got them, if I still got them? I didn't give them away.

I'm the simple

I still retain them or I take them back. So you give them away that you don't take them back

when dialed already. To have God remove all these defects of character,

I'm going to ask Him to remove our shortcomings. There's not much eagle here,

and what is left is destroyed in the next two. These next two steps are the most fabulous things on the face of the earth. This is like an inside shower.

We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

And we made direct amends. Such people, wherever possible,

except when to do so, would injure them or others.

Oh, don't sell these short.

These are the these are the greatest.

What a what a feeling it is

when we have become willing to and do face these people that we have

harmed and tell them

that we've harmed them. And we're not only here to apologize, but to tell them we'll make restitution as soon as possible.

You know, I had, I had picnic this sometime back. It's been several years ago now. I got a call on a Friday night

from a guy Whittier,

and he says, Chuck, I'm sitting here with my

my revolver in my lap

just ready to blow my brains out.

But Jim told me not to shoot until I talk to you. He says what he got to say.

I said you called me on a bad time

as is this Friday. I'm talking tonight, I'm talking tomorrow night and I'm talking Sunday night. I've got Monday night open now. I says you can shoot yourself on Tuesday just as well as you can tonight.

So if you want to talk to me, come down Monday night and we'll talk.

If you don't, go ahead and blow your brains out.

So he came down on Monday night

and we were sitting there talking and amongst other things, he was a gambler and he lost large amounts of money that he didn't have. And we got down here to this man's step. And I said to the guy, you know, we got to be able to go to these guys and say, look, I'm not the big shot that I

would have had you believe. I'm not Harlech.

I've done you wrong.

Now I'm here to make amends. Why, says Chuck. I can't do that. He says quite a few of these people are professional gamblers and says you're tough.

Why? Says you kill me.

I said the guy you reckon you will?

Sure. Well, I says that's that's good. You won't have suicide on your mind. Then let them do it.

The guy started laughing and he's still laughing.

He's still laughing. He's paid off all his debts and he's living like a king,

you know. Oh, don't settle these short. This is like an inside shop. You get rid of all that stuff and you're a free man. Now that's nine steps and what have we done?

We've rolled away the stone,

we've cleared away the wreckage in the past, we've washed a few windows

and now we can look deep within ourselves with Brother Lawrence, look deep within ourselves and find ourselves,

which includes our relationship with each other and with God.

Remember, Brother Lawrence said if you would find God, look deeper than yourself, because the only place you're ever going to find

the only place you're ever going to find me. Well, we can't look deeper than ourselves till we've cleaned the best out. We got to get rid of the overburden

and then we can look deeper than ourselves

and find ourselves, which includes our relationship to each other and to God.

And this is the great discovery.

This is the great discovery. This is what life's all about.

This is the thing that religion calls being born again,

being born out of conscious separation, out of a loneliness that Thomas talked so much about last night

into unity.

Into unity,

Conscious separation. Conscious unity, conscious separation. The problem. Conscious unity. The answer?

And so we are born again

and now we can pray, seek through prayer and meditation

to improve our conscious awareness of the living presence of the Almighty.

We can do this now,

sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with our very own God. God as I understand him. God, as you understand,

praying only for knowledge of His will for us

and the power to carry that out.

Oh thank God for this. This is the way I live. This is the only way I can live.

This is the only way I can live. I can't run my life, I can't run yours. I can't run my business. I can't run my wife. I can't run anything. And I know it.

I had 43 years to do that

and they ended up in the bottom of the snake pit.

I can't do it, but I can prove acknowledge His will for me in fact carried out

and I get it. I live with the totally expectancy of guidance and direction and everything that I do.

You know I am probably the worst mess that you will ever look at.

When I know what I'm doing,

I can't even get to the right meeting.

When I know exactly where I'm going, I can't make it. I've told some of you here this weekend. I was going to meet in Pasadena a year or two ago, a year, about a year ago, I guess. And I know exactly where they're going. I have my names in the little squares on the Girl Scout calendar, you know, And I knew where it's going. How's it going to Roy Seeker in Pasadena?

I see it written in the square.

Well, like you see it just as plain. And I went to Pasadena and I got there in time to get a sandwich and cup of coffee, which I did. Went to the meeting and the place was dark

and I said to myself this is something wrong here,

you know. So I get out my little book and I look and Neeraj seeking meetings on Tuesday night. This is Monday,

Villa Streets, Monday night. But I'm not going Villa St.

I'm going to our seekers. So I say to myself, you damn fool, you put it in the wrong square.

Now mind you, I'm within a mile of Villa St. and I'm 65 miles from home.

But do I go to Villa St. No,

I wasn't going to be the street. I was going to Royseka,

so I went home.

Well, Mr. C was talking someplace that night, so I unlocked the door and walked in. The phone was ringing.

I went over and answered and the man says where in the hell are you? I says I'm on the other end of his phone.

What he says, you're not supposed to be,

he says. There's 300 of us sitting up here at Villa St. waiting for you to talk.

Now there is the way I run my life.

It's quite a convenient thing for me to be able to pray for knowledge as well, for me to party carried out, I'll tell you that.

And having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these things, and we can't do them and miss it,

we can think we miss it because we might think that a spiritual we need something different,

something different,

something ethereal, something mysterious that might light on us or misses.

No, now if we do these things, we will have a spiritual awakening,

Tommy says. Last night. You feel peculiar, you know, and you wake up and find out you're healthy, You know, you've never been healthy before.

We feel a little peculiar too, because life is good.

Life is good.

Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps,

we tried to carry this message

to the alcoholic who still suffers

and to practice these principles. In all of our affairs.

We tried to carry this message. The alcoholic was still suffering.

We tried to give this thing away that has been given to us,

and in the doing again we prove something.

Now we never find out unless we do.

Because, you see, action is a magic word.

The only way on earth to convert intellectual knowledge into wisdom is through action.

Act as though I am and I will be, saith the Lord.

Action.

So

we tried to carry this message to the alcoholic who still suffers,

and in attempting to give this thing away,

we discovered that this has never been a getting life. It never was.

All the conditioning that I had had in home, in church and in school goes right out the window

because I was conditioned to believe that I doubt, think I'd perform, and I'd maneuver in order to eke out a miserable living out of an unfriendly universe. And I beat my brains out doing that for 43 years.

21 years ago, I started trying to carry this message

to the alcoholic who still suffers. I started trying to make amends to the woman, the kids

that I'd crucified.

I started trying to get even boss because it paid me for something I hadn't done,

to do something for God's kids that they needed to have done because I wanted to

and found that this had never been getting left or it's always been a given life.

The more you pour out without a price tag on it, the more you have because that's the way it is.

It's not a reward for well-being,

for good.

It's not a it's not a all day sucker for being a good boy.

It's the way it is. This is the way it is. The more I pour out without a price tag on it, the more I have. How do I know? All I got to do is look at my own books.

That's all I got to do.

Infinitely more good has come into my life in 21 years and the entire previous 43

in every department of life. Every department of life

and I've never spent 5 seconds in 21 years trying to bring it about.

Not 5 seconds.

This is the way it is.

It's giving life,

for it is in giving that we receive.

It is in forgiving that we are forgiven,

and it is in dying to self

that we are born into the reality

of life,

the reality of God,

the reality of unity.

And we never know. Do we do it

and practice these principles in all of our affairs, and we are made whole.

How fortunate can we be?

How fortunate can we be? I am what I am this morning because of the accident of total failure.

Total failure.

I can take no credit

even for coming here or even for living long enough to get here.

There is no credit due me for anything because my determination, my choice,

my decision was never to come here.

And until I ran out of choice, I couldn't come

and I came here. What for? To find God.

I'd been hunting for God for 30 years and had given that

to get my wife back. No, she was gone, should be gone, and I wasn't entitled to have her back and I knew it.

To get back to loving my kids. No, no, no, no.

They were gone and should be gone and I wasn't indicted having back to get my job back.

I knew that the boss meant what he said when he said if he ever stepped foot in his plane again.

I'm going to show you through the wind

to find Peace of Mind and serenity purpose. Never heard of it.

I came here hoping against hope

that I might find a way to live

that didn't include that alcohol.

I would have settled for the meanest old unhappy sobriety on earth

just so I don't have to drink anymore

because I can't die with this kind of record.

I love that wife

and I love those kids

and they have nothing to remember

but a tongue to him. Babbling needed drunk

riding in the floor, so I've got to have a little tie to rub out what I've written on the blackboard of life. And I came to a bunch of drugs.

The people I dislike most on earth.

Because you see, I was a drunk and I hated me and I hated all of you

and I couldn't come to drunk for him.

But do I mean place else to go?

There wasn't any place else to go

and people like you

took me on their laps and rocked me to sleep.

Strangers to me. But you see, I wasn't a stranger to them

because I was a drunk.

I was a drunk when I got here.

They weren't. They were Alcoholics.

See where drunk till we get here

and then we're Alcoholics

you see

and their out mid sleet

and he said to me if you want what we've got,

do the things that we've done here are the steps we took. Just do these things one day at a time. It's the best of your ability.

See what happens.

Don't drink today, they said.

Not that you've got to be sober 21 years

and it died if they told me that, but they didn't. They said just just don't drink today.

Stay as close to us as you can. They said

stay close to us

and they gave me a few names and they said now if you get hurt in too bad, call before you drink,

call before you drink.

Let's see if we can't help each other.

And I saw and I heard and I felt,

and I decided I wanted what you had

and became willing to go to any length to get it.

And I've been coming back here since.

I reckon I've attended maybe four and a half, five meetings a week

for 21 years.

But since the day I discovered that I was sober,

which was six months after I got here,

I never came to one of these meetings in fear.

I come to these meetings because I won't.

I found life

in these meetings.

For the first six months that I lived in Alcoholics Anonymous,

Alcoholics Anonymous was my home.

See, I didn't have any home.

I

and I come, and I'll continue to come

as long as there's breath in me.

Now, isn't it marvelous that you come here

willing to settle

for justice, the way to live that don't include that pledge and find the whole package

and find the whole package.

How fortunate can we be?

How fortunate can we be? And those amongst us who think you might have lost some time, oh, I hear this so often. You didn't lose any time.

You didn't lose an hour. I didn't lose a second.

I didn't spend one second in hell. That wasn't necessary. Because you see, this is the only way I could have ever surrendered. I had to burn up. And in order to get help from this power greater than myself, I had to be able to recognize the need for this help.

As long as I was going to do it with some, do it myself, there was number help. There was no help. God was willing, but I wasn't, so I had to become willing.

Now,

out of this way of life have come these things.

I haven't had to have a drink or pill for almost 21 years.

In January the 10th,

if I live that long and don't drink, I'll get a cake with 21 cannons on it.

Now that's not bad.

That's not bad

because physical sobriety and life are synonymous with me. I can't have one without the other.

It's the greatest gift God could give me that I might Live Today without having to drink. So that's good. 21 years old, maybe 7700 days that I would not have had

but for the grace of God through the miracle of a That's not bad. What else? I got a new body out of it.

Took me 3 1/2 years to get over falling on my face after my last drunk

and I haven't fallen on my face for 16 1/2 years now.

That ain't bad. Got a new body out there. What else? My family was put back here.

Miss C and I have completed 41 years.

We're still around in June 24th without 42 years in double harness

netting, Bay

The Voice. We're getting along pretty good.

And anyway, what else?

I own the business they threw me out of.

Now that's impossible.

That's impossible. This is something I never even dreamed of whilst drunk,

but there it is.

And that ain't bad. But what else?

Something that is infinitely greater than all of those things. I have a God of my very own.

My very own.

And I just woke up to the fact that there he was, the guy I've been hunting for forever.

There he was.

And wherever I am, he is.

And I had a lot of fun with you. I'm not afraid of you and I don't think he's afraid of me.

And I share everything in life with you. Everything in life I share with you, the good and the bad and the indifferent. Just like I'm not headed kids

something bad. I do, you know, and I do.

I take that into the closet with it. And I said look there. Look what I did yesterday. Isn't this awful?

Isn't this a hell of a thing for a guy like me to do? But I did it, and I know why,

and I don't like it and you don't like it, and I'm going to do better. And with your help, I'll do a lot better. Sure, thank you. Let's throw it away. I never carry out another second

and the good thing happens like something like this morning

and I take that in the closet and I said, look, there, isn't this terrific?

Isn't this wonderful? It couldn't happen to a bum like me, but it did

and I know where it came from.

And I sure think

because you see, it's not normal to walk alone.

It's not normal to walk alone. I walked alone for 43 years.

It's cold outside.

It's normal for us to walk down the High Road of life with their arms around each other, sharing our experience, strength and hope, one with another in love.

This is normal.

This is not

it's not normal to be away from the father's house.

It's normal to become as little children,

totally dependent on this great thing called God. It's normal. Just as normal as breathing.

Because you see, without God there would be no breathing,

Without God, no life,

without God, no intelligence,

without God, no peace.

Because you see, truly,

truly,

those first 2 words of the little prayer that we're about to

recite together mean what they say.

Our Father.