The Superior Group in Cleveland, OH

I don't say that to impress anybody, but it impresses the heck out of me because on April 24th of 1984, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I didn't want to live and I didn't want to die and I didn't know who to call. Who was I going to call you? Nothing about alcoholism. I wasn't an alcoholic and I knew nothing about a A and I didn't cry out for a A Help me. On April 24th of 1984, I cried out of her. God help me. On April 25th of 1984, I walked into a treatment facility. I was in treatment 28 days. I learned two things

I learned that I'm an alcoholic and I belong means everything I needed right here in the meat is in the cupboard. That book. I'm a firm believer in this. I I really try to keep this thing simple. You know, it's a it's a very simple program. You know, you know you,

you know you. I don't want to ever get too smart. I like staying dumb, you know, I

keep it as simple as I can, you know, I don't like, I don't need to change anything about it. I like everything about it. Like I said, you know, I don't have to pick up a drink, allow things up. I can laugh things up sober, you know. So

if they were talking now, he told you, he said, you know, it was funny tonight because Long Men's is my Home group and the secretary asked me what meeting is that? I haven't been the dolman in a while. You know, Newburgh, my Home group and I have a is one of my Home group and I haven't been there in a while,

you know, but but you know, I work night tonight and but the on Thursdays I met the northeast pre release prison that I

I get my Home group is a woman's meeting. So

you think that, but you know, thank God, thank God for a you know, whatever.

But but you know, it says that our freedom of their primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcohol. She's surprising. I believe that, but I believe Alcoholic Anonymous is primary purpose to save people's lives because that's what it's doing today for me. It's saving my life. This is life and death. An old timer told me once I was sending these meetings in an old timer. I was

he was sitting, I don't know, right across from me, but I think 2 seats down and he said, kid

here with your eyes, not with your ears, you know, and how true is that to the alcoholic? You know, I know about you, but I'm an alcoholic. Soon as I open my mouth up, I tell a lie. So don't listen to me. Just watch me. You know, that's what my wife tells me. Every time I open my mouth up, I'm telling another lie, you know, so you know, so but and, and I came and eat meals. I kept my eyes open. I saw a friend of mine died from the results of alcohol, drugs. I'm not talking about friends when I was out there using. I'm talking about friends since I came in Hawaii,

the very first person that I try to sponsor a little bit over 24 years ago we buried in 23 and it's a half years ago we buried because he died of an overdose of cocaine. And I'm here tonight. How about you? But I feel good. You better believe I love alcoholic and I'm mistaken my life, but I can tell you more stories. There was a point in time I used to stay in my league. There's more people that I sponsored that are dead than that are sober. I don't say that anymore. Nobody comes up and ask me to sponsor them. You know

what I talk about? I, I, I bring up one other story because this guy was a friend of mine. I grew up with this guy and he was just like me. And in, in the 24 years and five months and five days I was sober, he was in prison four different times. You know, I literally tried everything I could do to get this dice over. I literally tried to show the big book down and throw it. It tossed me a lesson, you know?

Yeah. I can't get nobody. So, you know, I don't have that power. I can't get people sober. I can only carry the method. God gets people sober. I can only carry the message. And the last time this guy went out, he had a girl on Detroit Ave. and she pinned her leg against the poem. The girl lost her leg. And I was visiting Williams County Jail, and he snapped. He couldn't handle what he was, what he did. He just, he just lost it. You know, this guy,

you know, he was like me. All he ever wanted to do, all I ever wanted to do when I went out and drank was to have fun. That's all I ever wanted to do was to have a little bit of fun. And I believe that's all he ever wanted. He didn't, he didn't say, well, one day I'm going to take a girl's leg off,

you know, you know, he was in bad shape. He was having seizures all the time. He had a couple strokes. And, and while he was in county jail, his mother called me up and said, Fred, could you come and take me down to Saint Vincent Charity? I guess the county jail caller up and and she wanted me to drive her down to see her son. I thought I was driving her down to see her son. And I went down there and when we got into his room, he was at Saint Vincent. Charity was in a coma on a life support system, handcuffed to a bed.

He couldn't move. He couldn't. He was in a he couldn't go nowhere, but he was handcuffed to bed. And I felt this guy paint. See my message in my lead. I talk about two things. I talk about never forgets and I talk about feelings, you know,

you know, you know the feeling, you know the feeling I'm talking about the feeling I'm talking about is that feeling. You know, that new alcoholic. I'll never forget my first a a meeting or my first beginnings in my that time an Uber watch while you're beginning to result the man himself. It it makes so much sense. You know I'll never forget my beginnings. You know that, you know that feeling I'm talking about that you, you see that new guy. You know when the secretary gets up at the meeting asking anybody here at their first meeting or first week in the program

and you see that new guy or new girls raise her hand and you're looking at new guy and new girls eyes. And you see that loneliness and that pain and that guilt and shame and the remorse and look, just look, it's there. You'll see it. I know what it's like. And then after the meeting, you go shake that new guy's hand or new girl's hand. You say, keep coming back. You don't have to live the way you're living. You see that little bit of hole. That's the gift. If you haven't done that, you don't know what I'm talking about. That's the gift. Now that's the feeling I'm talking. And I felt this guy didn't have his eyes, but I felt this guy's pain. He was

die and they were keeping them. What this guy did not want to live. I know by visiting him talking, he just didn't have it. He just didn't have the fighting them anymore. I just said to his mother, I wish they'd leave it in God's hands, you know, and and and we and and we she asked me to talk to the priest with her and we had to talk to the priest and then we had to get permission from the county. When you're in prison or jail that you can't do nothing without their permission. We finally got permission from the county to get them off this machine and two days later this guy died. Can't come to 1/5

and I'm here tonight. I don't bout you but I feel good. You better believe I love alcoholic anonymous. It's saving my life. Thank God for a a. Thank God for a

you hear with your eyes, with your ears,

You hear what? You're right. And you know what we had to do tonight before the meeting started. This is what we had to do tonight before the meeting started. We had to ask people to shut their pagers and their cell phones off. Give me a break. Without Alcoholic Anonymous, I have nothing. I have nothing

man. Am I that important? Do I got to take a cell phone into an A a meeting?

When did I get important?

When did I get important? Without Alcoholic Anonymous I have nothing

and I also believe Alcoholic Canal is a miracle, magic, whatever you want to call it. Because I read a story and this is an amazing story. And every time I read this story, I, I get a feeling inside another one of those feeling.

I don't know about you, but when I read this story, this is amazing story. And this story is about a doctor. They met a stockpro for 1935. Every time I just say those two things that I I just, it just it won't overwhelm me. Two guys got together one night.

One guy thought he'd share his experience and strength. He started. He just, he just, he just, he couldn't tell nobody out. He had to tell another drunk the way he felt

and Alcoholic Anonymous begin.

I don't watch you, but I feel God. I'm a member of that fellowship

and the same thing that happened, that doctor 1935 happened to Fred Jack about to in 1984, I was introduced to another alcoholic. He shared experience, strength and hope and I thought he knew more about him. And then I did myself and I started to listen. And if I didn't do anything on early in my beginning, I did listen. Why I listen? Who knows? Maybe I was sick and tired of being sick. Maybe I didn't want to live the way over them. Who knows what I lifted and what that man did that day I'm going to try to do tonight. He told me what it was like, what happened, what it's like today in a general way.

And before I do that, I'd like to say a little prayer. You could join me in the Serenity Prayer if you like. Got it. I pray for the strength, the width of knowledge you own, the power to carry it out, to carry the suffering alcoholic

and practice these principles and all my affairs and God grabbing your serenity to accept the things I can't change, the courage to change the things that can and the wizard to know the difference.

I don't know, when I picked up my first drink, you know, I didn't think, well, I better write this down. It might be I might need it someday. You know,

some people can get up here and say at the age to find your dad gave them beer at the age of five and they started guzzling. I don't know what I was doing at 35 when I was five years sober. So. So I can't tell you I was doing that five years of age, but I go back to the age of 15 years of age. I grew up in a hippie year, you know, and everything out there went with it. I had hair halfway down like that down my back and everything out there went with the with it. And, and at the age of 15, there was a bad going around called Boone Farming Apple Wine.

And I wanted to fit and I wanted to be accepted. I wanted to go out with my friends and have a little bit of fun and, and we decided to go out and get some of this wine,

You know, I got it. I drank and I got sick and I puked and I liked it so much. I went back the next day, the next day and I was in trouble right from the start. I didn't have to wake my work my way into trouble. I was in trouble right from the start, you know, and

at the age of 15, I wanted to go out with my friends and have a little bit of fun. At the age of 30, I was sitting on a curb, just sold my car. I found my brother's car. I got his bank book with $5 in it. I cashed a couple checks on my mom and dad. I got my grandmother's wedding ring sitting in a pawn shop. Now, that ain't the first time I did it, but it was the last. Now, I can tell you all the stories from the age of 15, age of 30 that got me to that curve. And believe me, I used to do that early on

there. There have been times early on in my beginning, my first couple years of leaving, there were times I left for an hour and 45 minutes, you know,

until I think about that today, you know, that's, I mean, you know, that's amazing. I can't believe

I did talk that along, you know, but I mean, you know, you know, I and I, I never said to myself, oh, well, I'm going to go out and leave for an hour and 45 minutes, you know? You know, if you're going to play, if you want to blame somebody, you know, you could always when you're done praying and I talk to God and ask God why he let so long, you know, you know, because

I don't know what's the time limit. You know, there's some meetings out there today. You know, you'll go to a meeting, some meetings out there. I don't know about on the east side, but I know on the West side

there's meeting, some meetings out there on the West side. Not the chairperson that asked you to leave. The secretary will come up to you before the lead. You know, say could you cut your lead, make it about 25 to 30 minutes. We like to get home early. Give me a break. Tell that to the new guy. He had nowhere to go.

I can imagine sitting into a park, sitting in the bar. 190 Hey, can you close the bar an hour early? I want to get home.

I got to get home early.

Give me a break, Give me a break. Without any I have nothing

and but I bring up a couple stories to that got me to my last drunk because I I keep the door open, said to keep the door open. I keep it open and one of the stories I'm 17 years of age. I got here halfway down my back. I can't even get started in the 10th grade. I I'm getting kicked out every school. My mom and dad are sending me. I, I and, and I, my dad come to me and I like I said I didn't want no part of school and school didn't want no part of me. So my dad came with me at 17 years of age and said he could give me a job, work in a warehouse making $6.50 an hour. That was 37 years ago and

this job, the only way I can get this job, He said first you got to cut your hair and I wasn't going to cut my hair because if I cut my hair, I ain't going to have no friend, you know, and I really bleed that back then, if you didn't have long hair, you weren't cool or whatever. I don't know. But and and I wasn't about to cut my hand. My dad and my kid was suggestion. He said, Fred, all you got to do is cut your hair and take the job. And when you want your friends, you can put on a long way. I can imagine we put on a long wig and going out. That wasn't me, you know. I

never had that. In my thought, in my mind, I'm going to put it along. So I came to suggest my own. I curled my hair up to the curler pit and put it short. When you went to work like that for two years,

see, I didn't need you people. I didn't need anybody. See, I, I, you know, I wasn't hurting all. I always thought I wasn't hurting. No, I'm just hurting me. Nobody else, just me, you know, and now I know I'm drinking every day because I'm working with guys at 30 years of age and they're going to borrow an ordinance chats and beers in order and sandwiches and I'm ordering shots and beards and forgetting the sandwiches and cutting work just like I did school. So the responsibility school couldn't put there. She worked with she got a disease called alcoholism. And I believe that tonight because I read the book and it said something like this in the

put one drink in my system. Just phenomenal craving this obsession thing. If I don't believe anything, then I believe that tonight. But every time I drink a path out locked up or whatever

and now his job gets fed up with me because I'm taking the weight off at lunchtime and I'm not wearing it to work. So they fired me after 2 years. So the guy who doesn't need know anybody that's running his lifeline, his dad comes up to me says he can give me a better job than your trucking has to use on a truck dock. And my money's almost double. And I spending all that money and spending all my parents money. I'm in all kind of trouble and I don't want to get in trouble with the trouble. Got to the point where my mom and dad had to sell their house to Get Me Out of prison in my life's a mess and I don't know what to do and I don't know where to go. Where am I going to go? Who am I going to call now? I'm 26 years of age and I'm living on a park bench off of West

and I'm living on this park. Ben

and my whole world's falling apart. At this time

my job is in jeopardy because the company I'm working for is ready to close up. I'm pending my 6D WI and my whole world falling apart and I'm living on this parking. I don't know where to go and I don't know what to do. And my grandfather died

and my mom comes and said come and be with the family till the funerals over with. And I had a cousin they went to rosary hard time. It was two years of ride. He was going a lot of meeting and he was a big guy. As soon as I walked in the house, he grabbed the home. He threw me up against the wall and he said, Fred, what are you going to do? Something about your drinking?

And I looked in and I said mind your own business. I don't have a drinking problem. I'm not an alcoholic. What is an alcoholic? Powerless over alcohol life of men. My life was a wreck, my life was a mess, my life was in shambles. My life done banned today and it's the best it's ever been. I can live with it. That's a pretty word. I remember when Faye used to say that at KD and Newburgh when he after the meeting, how Faye would get up and talk and he would say that twice a minute. That's a pretty word for an alcoholic.

You know how true that is. IPhone man, that is a pretty good My life was a wreck

at this time. Like I said, my nickname was black belt when I carried it everywhere. We had 60 WI. He had you know, I was sleeping on a park bench, but I didn't have a drinking problem. And you know what he did? He walked away. He didn't say let's do an intervention on him. He didn't say tell my mom and dad I wasn't ready. I mean he didn't say let's do another. Let's put him in a halfway. He just told my mom and dad I wasn't ready yet and I thank God he did that because I see a like a revolving door. More people coming alcoholic anonymously go back up and you do say, you know,

keep coming back. It's harder to keep coming back and then just take

and I had to beat my head another four years. I get at that time I like I said, I didn't think I was an alcoholic, but I did think I was a little nuts. You know, like I said, and everything's falling apart. I'm cutting that 60 WI and at the time was in Rocky River and that at that time there was a blind judge in Rocky River and he didn't like people that had that had DWI. He would put people in prison. They had two Wis and I had sick and I told my mom I don't think I am an alcoholic, but I do think I'm a little nuts and I went to psychiatric treatment. I

cycle board at Saint Vincent's here. I went into the cycle of here and I've been a few psychiatric hospitals since I've been in the program that might have been one of the best. At a ping pong table there, a pool table. They were giving me three drugs. I literally had it made, you know, and they had to kick me out of there and they did. Now I got to go to court and Rocky River and I'm living at the time. I'm back with my mom and dad and they're living in North Olmsted and I'm working at 878 in Saint Clair from 5:00 in the afternoon to 1:00 in the morning.

And I walked in this courtroom, the judges that the Lord that I had with the bailiff kids, godfather, you know, I used to think I was Nickel King, double cool. Oh, I said in a lot of jail, but I never went to prison. You know what caused my mom and dad dearly to keep me out of prison? And I'm not talking material things. It cost happiness from a smile, joy from their hearts and peace from their eyes being out of truth. And I walked in this courtroom. This was a blind judge, but he looked at his name. Three years, lost the license, two years probation, got to see a probation officer once a week, 60 days in jail and $312.00 fine. I was registered by my lawyers court. I told the lawyer what I thought of. I told the bailiff,

but I didn't tell the judge and I'm yelling at that Lord and that bailiff and, and, and, and I tell him I I need to be giving my license for back and forth to work 26 years of age. You got to have some type of responsibility in your life. You got to have some type of responsibility in your life

and the judge called they called me back in the judge chamber and he kept this everything except the 60 days in jail he suspended. He sets up to my ears popped open. He said, Fred, you could have your license back in 90 days. And I said, what do I got to do? He said all you got to do is go to three a a meetings a week. I told the judges to keep my license and he did. I wasn't in the alcoholic. I didn't have a drinking problem. What is an alcoholic powers over alcohol like 26 years of a living in North Olmsted working E 178 in Saint Clair from 5:00 in the afternoon to 1:00 in the morning. You know, he's driving me back and forth to work with my mother and

the way I live down with my life. You better believe I love Alcoholic Anonymous. It's saving my life. Thank God. Praying now. I want to bring you up to my last drunk. Now I'm 30 years of age and I'm living in Parma and I'm working in Ravenna and I don't even know the car. You know, like one man. That's a pretty word for an alcoholic. I like with the wreck.

I told my mom and dad why I didn't have a car. I said mom, dad, I don't have a why I'm missing work. I said. I told him I'm missing work because I don't have a car. Two weeks prior to my last truck, my mom and dad went out and bought me a car for 325 bucks and they told me to go living and I'm living in my car and handed a batch a couple weeks. I stuck it on dirty and I'm sick and I'm here to the Grapevine and my mom did. I'm going to New York to visit my sister. I called my mom on the phone. I said, ma please. Well you and dad are New York. Could I just come home and get a little bit of rest? What I would have done for a little bit of rest?

You know what I think about that? I was in treatment 28 days. They, they made me write down a lot of stuff. They, they asked me a lot of questions. They even made me do a fourth and 5th step when I was in treatment. And all that stuff that I've written down. I still haven't up in the attic in a filing cabin. You know, I used to look at a kid. You haven't looked at it over for 15 years. And I don't remember all those questions to you, but this is another one. I'll never forget this question. This was one of the questions they asked me and, and I'll never forget this one. We were sitting around grouping. It got to me and they said

are you really here? Why are you really here? And I believe with all the honesty at that time, I believe I told him this true. I said I'm there just to get some sleep. What I would have done for some sleep. Wow.

You know, if, you know, that's not what I was looking for, You know, there's been a lot of nights. I've been made a lot of nights in a that I haven't got much sleep, but now I can lay down in that pillow and feel that peace. That's that. Yeah. If you haven't felt that, you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm a member of. I don't bite you, but I feel good. I feel good. You better believe I love alcohol. Saving my life,

you know,

I,

I remember early on in my sobriety minute early on, I, I, I couldn't, I couldn't put two hours. It took me a long time before I could sleep through the night, You know, you know, I, I'll go to a halfway house and I'll talk to a guy there and he's been in there a couple weeks and he'll say, oh, I slept through tonight, man.

It took me a long time. I, I just, I gave God for a Amen. There was midnight meetings. I hit on a for a long time,

you know,

but that Saturday my mom said, OK, that's every my mind get left in your dead car. They bought me for 325 bucks. I sold for $75 and Sunday came along with my boss. I got to be at work at 9:00 at night. I don't think I can make it. And all he said to me is Fred, if you're not here tonight, I don't know if I can guarantee your job. I said I I think I don't think I'll make any repeat that. So I said I'll buy her my brother's car and grab the bottle black belt. And I, and I went to that guy that died handcuffed to bed, was living in an attic and Brie and all. I remember going that house and drinking that black belt until I passed up.

I don't remember that guy being there. He might have been doing his own thing. You might even have been out of town at the time. He worked for a moving company. And then Monday came along. I'm sick and I ain't got no money and I know where to go and I know who to call. But I got my brother's bank book and he's got $50.00 in his bank. I go to his bank and I take $45.00 out and I go down to 55th and Woodland. I get something. I had to be sick. And then Tuesday came a line. I'm sick and I got no money and I don't want to go and I know who to call. Where am I going to go? Who am I going to call? So I drive down to 55th and my brother's car and I pawned my brother's car

and I took a rapid back to this house and I'll never forget this. When I walk, I know I walk for a while. You would be on that rapid train. You know, my life was a mess

and took in a bath in a couple weeks. I something I would dirt. I walked up that seven. I remember Matt sitting at that ground kitchen table and every time I tell the story, it's like me seeing him sitting here and on that kitchen table with that bottle black belt would still have much left in it. I walked up the steps. I was shaking. I was here as soon as he said he said Fred, you better drink that soon as he said those words, I ran out of that house and I ran from that house to this bar and I cried out. God, there's got to be something better. There's just got to be something better.

And I didn't know who to call. Who's going to call? The only person I can do to call was a guy who's a school with. I was godfather to one of the daughters. I call this guy on the phone. I said, Ralph, I owe them money at the time I said, Ralph, can you help me? He said, you know what he said? He said he couldn't help me. I don't know what you call it. Total health. Miss Tony Spear, get down to your guts. Crying for help and hearing no help available. I don't want to ever have to go through that again.

Then I said, Ralph, put your wife on the phone. I said, Mary Ellen, you gotta help me. She said. She said she couldn't help me and I didn't know what to do. And I don't know how long they sat in here in that bar, but I don't want to ever forget this next phone call. I just told you what happened prior to this phone call. And you know who's on the other end of that line? My mother. And you know what she said? She said come home. And if I go home, it's going to be the same every day. I went on. When is it going to be different day in and day out? I went home

and I must have told her I had no way to get home

and she said she picked me up and I didn't want her to pick me up where I was and I so I walked and I walked. It was a bowling alley at the time. We had like this little wedge and I sat on this ledge, hadn't even seen the steps. I didn't know anything about the stuff but deadly on that ledge. I took an inventory, probably the best inventory I ever took in my life. And you know that inventory. If you took in that inventory, you know what I'm talking about. You know, the inventory I'm talking about,

the inventory I'm really talking about is that main inventory where you look down

your guts and you see the real. I looked out in the defense of my guts and I seen the real

and I didn't like anything about me. I don't want to ever forget that. I hope on April 20 on on on September 30th of 2008,

I hope I prayed this morning like I prayed on April 25th of 1920. Fourth of 1984, the same again,

and I noticed that the real pig, a real disgrace. I pray God, please help me, please help me. And on April 25th of 1984, those two prayers that I answered, cried out or answered immediately. He didn't come back a week from today or we'll do this thing tomorrow.

I walked in this job and this lady looked at me. She said it's a 28 day broke program and I broke down. I started to cry

and I said her, that's not enough time. Just let me stay. In the back of my mind, I thought I was going to go in there and die peaceful. See, I gave up. I surrendered. I just couldn't go on the warrant. And you know what she said to me? She said things will get better. And when I ran from that house to that bar, I cried out, God, there's got to be something better. And you know what? I'm going to tell you all tonight. From that day to this day, things have gotten better. Not at the pace I like it, not at the pace I wanted to be. But if I want to be honest with you, I can tell you a whole lot better. A whole lot better

then that second prayer, God help me was after the form of a book. A book she had to be this Big Blue book. She said this program is based on this book

and on the cover of that book it said Alcoholic Anonymous and I don't know about you, but I'm powerless over alcohol. I'm an alcoholic and I believe on April 25th of 1984, I believe I received the greatest gift at any alcohol to receive and I'm a firm believer in that. I believe this is a gift. This is a gift. I didn't do nothing earnest and I understand to do nothing. How do you pay a debt? How can you pay Alcoholic Anonymous debt? Every time you put an A A, you get bad tenfold and more

time you give, you get more.

Wow, you're telling me every time I give him when he get more, I thought you and I feel good. Where do I start? Where do I start? I remember that fellowship. I think about that. You know, like I said, I hear what you like. You said you hear what your eyes not what you hear.

You know, come in these room just sit in these rooms. You know, I I sit in these rooms and I watch those you know, those guys are coming to meetings. You know, sit way in the back and shoot of the the lead over with the run out of here.

They'll run out of here.

Why would I treat my alcoholic and my A anyway different than I did my drinking? Why would I treat it any different?

I never went into a Bartell. I'm gonna only have a couple and I'm gonna go home. Why would I? Oh, I only want a couple things you have to offer here. I'm gonna go home. That ain't me. I don't want just a piece of the pie. I want the whole pie to whip cream on top the chair. I want it all. I don't even take yours if you let me. That's me. That's me,

you know, and, and,

and that's what I did. You know, I, I'm selfish. I'll be honest with you. I I don't want, I just don't want to party. I want all that good stuff, you know, if you just want not drinking and going to meetings, I'll guarantee you'll taste over the rest of your life. I'll guarantee that I'll even go one farther than that. You don't even have to come to our meetings. Just don't drink. You're not going to get drunk. Just don't drink. You're not going to get drunk. But I want all that good stuff. You know that good stuff, It says in that book,

it's in there, it's in there and it happened. I know what happened.

I just told you this year what it was like, what he had, what is like. They just share what it was like, what happened. I want to show a little bit of what it's like today.

Age attraction rather than promotion. I'm not here to promote a A, you know, I'm just not here. The stuff we took, you know, like I said, you hear what your eyes bought. Watch that person. You know that person I'm talking to that guy, you know the guy with that smiling. You know, I want that smile on that Glee. You know the smile on the Glee. Look at that guy, that smiling gleam in his eye.

How do you get that smiling? I want that.

The last day I went on with the girl pride and when I came away with three years, I couldn't get a girl to go out with me. You know,

that's another thing I have a hard time with, you know, a guy will just get out of heating Center for he'll be out for about a month, you'll see. Oh, I can't go to a meeting tonight. I got to stay home and take my girlfriend out, girl. But give me a break, you know. Yeah, I can get a girl to go out and leave and call her a girlfriend, you know. But I was working on a truck one night and a guy came up to me, said, Fred, why don't you take my cousin out? I jumped into Kent. Nobody and nobody asked me to go and I took her out. And on that day I wet my pants. The next day he came to me and said my cousin don't want to see you no more.

Girls don't guys that drink like this. Pigs and girls are guys that don't take pets and girls don't guys that wet their pee.

Now may you got those girls, but I sure didn't you know,

October 24th in 1987 I was married.

Not only she, my wife, he's my best friend.

Now. I might not be her best friend, but she's mine.

I've met. I've been married when I was 2 1/2 years, so we're two years and seven months over. I met Mary

and that two years and seven months sober. I knew to do three things. That's it. Just three good things. I knew to do it two years and seven months over.

I knew not to drink. Are you to come to these meetings? I knew to shake people's hand. That's it. That's all I knew.

So I met Mary and went out to the only place. I I asked her out in the place, the only place I think you've taken to take her, which is a name, you know, in my first date was the name

and you know, that night I led the meeting and she still married me. I

amazing. Yeah. I still can't believe that today. You know, I looked back early on and I've been getting when I was dating Mary I we were dating for about 3 months

now 2 years and 10 months over and we're dating for about 3 months and she comes up to me one night after we were dating she said, Brett,

have you ever bought deodorant clone? I never bought deodorant clone my life. Why would I start now? You know, I never bought that in my life.

Yeah. You know, it amazes me some people. You'll go to you. You can go to some of these places. You know, these diabetes Alcoholics today, they come in. They got a wardrobe of clothes, you know, and they got a car. You know, they, you know, the requirement to get into a halfway house today is you got to have a car or cell phone and you're welcome. Come on in. You're now. You're welcome. You know,

You know I had nothing. You know what you know,

after I was done praying in the morning, I used to say to God, please keep her in the fog. Don't let her know what she's got.

I'm blasphemy. I really am. God's been good at Fred Jackamazole.

How can I pay Alcoholic Anonymous? They go like to come to your meeting and put your chairs away and leave your meeting. The secretary meeting, charity meeting. I can come here and be the best day. You want me to. I can dance you with somebody's room just like that. I don't believe I work my program in an A a room. I work my program when I'm alone. I believe it's my thoughts and my actions. I don't believe this is an outside job. I believe it's an inside job. I don't believe it's how I look on the outside. It's how I feel on the inside,

not about you. But I feel good. I feel good.

I I gotta share this one story. I remember we were honor we got married and we were on our honeymoon

and we were we were going to Florida and we were on a plane. I got false teeth, you know, and I went early on. I used to take him. I don't hardly wear them anymore. She doesn't like that. But but I used to take them out when we ate early on. And then we were on this plane and I, I, we got a sandwich and I, I got on this plane, I took my teeth out, I guess. And I ate the sandwich

and I must have fell asleep after I ate the sandwich and I woke up and I said, Mira, I can't find my teeth. And I said, I don't know where they're at. In about 15 minutes later to three aisle down there was this little girl yelling out Mommy mommy. I found somebody teaching

a

November 18th of 1988. My wife was in labor for almost 26 hours. Her sponsor was there and my sponsor was there.

See my wife. When I met my wife and I introduced her to my concert, I said, Dave, I met a girl

and they I'm sorry I ever did that because they said, you know, if you have anything to do with this guy here, you got to go to those meetings over there. My wife's a member of Aladdin. She got a black dog in Element

Al Anon's put me in the couch and in the basement lots of nights, you know?

But her sponsor, my sponsor was there in

and she like I said, she had a rough time, 26 hours and they stayed up all night. I, I even slept. They used to give me a hard time about that early on. You were sleeping through it. And we were up. But the next morning doctor said we got to do AC section right away and they asked me and they said I could come in there and I was in there with my first time with them.