The Blackstone Retreat

the gentleman it is my privilege to introduce to you a knighthood sure speaker for the night

I just met

thanks to our Friday morning that he didn't get into Friday morning and you know when I've ever had this job of introducing somebody if you want to find out about a man or woman go around and ask other people he's going to take your nice things about it when it does say so go around and find that gosh I I didn't like this character before I met him everybody told me what a wonderful guy what a great talk he made and so I looked him up and then when the so how nice looking at what I hated him and sent him over night dressed you know like I've always wanted to do and always been too old too broke today

and I talked in a little while I found out that he has been a delegate from up in Canada that he is which one time up as a trustee for AA up in Canada he's been in the say a thing for a long long time I thought it was brand new it looks brand new to

and

the people that I talked to told me how to nice guy he was and what a wonderful thought some of you have heard it before and I look forward not to hear him so now I give you babies husband Cecil St from somewhere in Canada

back in Canada we usually fail at last for to speak

my name is Dave and I'm an alcoholic

I'm from prince Albert Saskatchewan Canada

the M. three has made it safe

Julia had a lot of faith in me he took the collection up before I talked

but I knew it was the moment I saw IT coming down the way with a grin on his face

wait until the box sets nice to be here and I understand that my wife Babe was

yak N. at the Alemannic in this afternoon

I should know about off again

and I thought it was big in this area up until such time as a walk in tonight and everybody said that I was baptized

at the start of a degrading thing

every time I am invited to speak and thank god it's once in a while

I'm not like some of the speakers down here I usually take my watch off to find out what time I start

and it reminds me of a story

no that's that's really not true it does remind me of a story because I intended to talent anyway

the story of a little Methodist boy and little Catholic boy

that day

we're discussing each other's churches

and

they just couldn't get through to each other what it was all about

the final Catholic boys said well look good how about coming to church in the next Sunday now explained little Methodist boy went along

and he explained a little Catholic boy explained to him exactly what was happening and he was quite impressed

and he invited the little Catholic board of the Methodist church the next Sunday

and he explained everything that was happening

and finally the minister went up in a public

and he took his watch shop

and a little Catholic voices what is that me

did a Methodist boys is not a damn thing

so I hope that my lights will mean something

I've been running around here for a couple of days

people would look at my badge

and they would look the second time in the GCC sketchy one written on it and they look at me kind of funny

and I are different people say it who is a Canadian speaker we understand we have a Canadian speaker

and I tried to introduce myself a few times and people would say welcome to Blackstone and I can understand why impressed with Blackstone they never let me tell too much about Canada

they just told me about Blackstone

and it brought to mind another story

but a dear old lady and I builders didn't understand a story when I told in Texas three weeks ago so I'm tell it again

but a delay that bought a parrot

she bought this parrot she paid a lot of money for just took it home and she found out that the parent couldn't talk

and she set about trying to teach this parrot how to talk

and finally he got the part to say three words

and those three words where who is it

and all day long the parish

I would talk

but I would say is who is that

what is that

where is that

and they only got a little uptight wants to whine about this but

but he was so proud that she had taught this pattern how to talk she didn't say too much about it she was kind of products

one day he went downtown and why she was downtown and not came to the door

the parents

boys came back and says

it's a bummer

I just

if this is the primary

badges when it

and he said look at

it's the plumber P. L. U. M. B. E. R. Palmer

I just

and the dear old timer

he said you asked me to be here today I told you I couldn't come until tomorrow you told these emergency

now open the door and let me and let me get the job done let me be on my way

I didn't he wasn't on the program I didn't know much about serenity or anything

he got mad

and just so tight that he just fainted dead away

and he's laying down there in front of the door and the delay comes home and looks down

and he did who is it

they

from the voice comes out of the house and it says it's the part

I hope you understand

I first of all I would like to thank the board of trustees for

inviting me here when I received a phone call

about four weeks ago

asking me to pinch hit for Chuck chamberlain I was quite impressed with myself

the fact that they thought I was good enough to do that but I was supposed to come in the spring and Chuck was supposed to come in the fall or something and he couldn't come in now go anywhere they let me speak so I'm here

but I'm very grateful and I'd like to thank the board of trustees in behalf of Babe myself for

inviting us to Blackstone

and anything you say about Blackstone is true

it's just been a wonderful experience for both of us

and I want to thank each and everyone of you for making I stay just so wonderful

and from the moment that we arrived here

eight

at two o'clock in the morning on Friday morning

everybody has treated us so wonderful

I don't know whether or not we want to go back to Canada because

they know is back there and they don't treat us that well

and then when the program started last night and

fail talked

the judge a magnificent job this morning

arborist and Dave and I know that everyone of us

let those moments with them

I've had a certain feeling

and tonight I went out

and I sat for a moment out under the cross

and if any if you haven't had that experience please go out

and sit there for a moment because it's an experience that I believe

people in a a are privileged to have been privileged to understand

because

it just gives you that certain something

that I've heard so much about what happens to you and Blackstone

and now I know

and I only hope that about two hours from now

you people out

be glad that I came from

and that they will go on saying such wonderful things they've said about me

I guess what we have to do an Alcoholics Anonymous used to tell you what we were like

what happened and what day like today

I came from a very good home I came from a poor home but I came from a spiritual home

when I was sixteen years of age I became

very unhappy and I rebelled against the

everything that was happening to me the discipline of the home the discipline of the schools the discipline of the church

and I ran away from discipline

and I ran into the army

that shows you how smart I was

I ran right into desperate

I had never drank before that

and the first night that I was in the army

I went downtown with the rest of the boys not big uniform

and I had my first drink

and it was wonderful

because he did something for me that it never happened to me before

it made me that somebody that I wanted to be

it made me bigger than anybody in the crowd

it made me so that I could talk louder and faster and longer about any given subject

unfortunately the next morning when I woke up I was delighted to find boy

that I'd been before I took the drink

I didn't think too much about this I didn't think there was anything wrong with me but I know the day that I was an alcoholic from the first moment that I started to drink

I became an instructor net Canadian Army

when I was only sixteen years of age

and I drank with people who are much older than me and I had a big capacity and I thought I was smart

I got kicked out of the army when I was only seventeen

I went back to my hometown

I work in an aircraft factory

I got too much responsibility I made too much money and I drank too much booze

and I ran from that responsibility and today I know that that was what I was doing all of the time that was the reason that I ran the first time because I didn't like the responsibility of anything

I ran back into the army I told him I'd never been in before

and this time I was a genius

I became an instructor again

I got recommended for my commission

but I got kicked out of the army once again before I got my commission

I went back to my hometown I work for a newspaper

and once again I got that responsibility that I couldn't face up to

and Iran once again and I ran into the navy

and in the navy I settle down to a very serious drinking

I went to officers training

I would love to stand here and tell you that I was an officer in the Canadian navy but I wasn't because I got kicked out of office training

and I didn't get my commission

I think I was glad at that time that I didn't get my commission because I didn't think I don't think I wanted the responsibility that went along with the commission

however I stayed in the navy

I sailed all over the world I drank all over the world I get drunk all over the world

and I laugh at people today when they tell you the difference between

beer or Scotch in different countries

to me it really didn't matter

I didn't matter didn't matter the brand

as long as it was something to drink

and I think that's the difference

I got married when I was in the navy

thank god to the same little galas with me on this weekend

and I wish that I could tell you that

I lead a happy life but I didn't

while I was in the navy and I have to tell a story because Millie asked me to tell and I'm scared of memory

I think I can fight with that not many

and I can tell a story in United States because you people are part out

I was a gunner on a merchant ship and I sailed down into the South Pacific

and one of your ships was torpedo down there

in Melbourne Australia

it was towed back into Melbourne Australia and we were the only ship that was empty and the government ordered us to take your tanks up to New Guinea

and we went up there and we've taken a cargo flickered down to Melbourne Australia

and we had stolen a lot of liquor we had a lot of liquor on board ship

and we went up there in those of you who in the South Pacific

no that those Japanese people didn't appreciate us coming in there

the little narrow about it and even shot at us

but we deliver your tanks and we started back from administrative

and when we got almost to Melbourne Australia on our own aircraft come out to meet us

and we where we've been drinking a lot the whole crew

and we thought that the Japanese planes coming back and are gonna be officer

orders to open fire

and we start shooting at our planes

and I was in charge of this big forward gun the forward on deck just below the bridge

and we were firing like crazy and suddenly the captain of the ship realize that we're shooting at our own planes and you get real panicky

and he took the big megaphone and you have to visualize he's up about here and I was down there and I'm just firing like crazy

they did this big megaphone

any screen down at me so far

and so

I get kicked out of the navy

and you're stuck with me Millie and I'm gonna tell it again thanks fast Mattel

I'm not allowed to tell its story back in Canada anymore

a little tired of it but I'm sure glad to get a different audience

after the war I went back to my hometown

and I kept on drinking I was celebrating the end of the war

I got a job and I got fired from that job I got another job and I quit just before I got fired from that one

I went into business for myself with a partner

it was probably the shortest lived business and a history of Canada

it lasted for four months

and I can remember the day that

they took our two little girls

and she left

when I was twenty five years of age

and I went down to tell my partner about the horrible thing that my wife had done to me

and he kicked me out of the business

and I hope I never forget that day because I stood there on the corner this little town

and a guy came along and he said which way you go on stage and I said I don't care just get me out of here

and I went back to

the little town and I was

I had been living in before I moved to this town to go into business

David left me

and we got back together because I promised her that I would stop drinking

and I did stop

I stopped for about four days

and it's no use telling you people that story because many of you have done the same thing

but I want to tell is because I think this part of the story is very very important

because I went to my first AA meeting at that time

nobody took me I just knew where there was an a a meeting and I walked in

and I heard people talking about how much they drink but how many jails they've been in

and I have nothing against this other than the fact that it almost killed me because I felt I wasn't ready

and when the young people coming away today and if there were any of you here tonight

please don't think

they do came too soon

because some of us came too late just remember it that way

I got some literature from that a meeting

and I can remember going home and telling my wife

and I can remember

I tap next door coming in to talk to me

and I told him about joining Alcoholics Anonymous I was going to join Alcoholics Anonymous

and he told me just exactly what I wanted to hear he told me I wasn't bad enough to do that

he was a friend next door who criticized me when I drank

but he didn't want me going so far as to join this horrible thing called Alcoholics Anonymous

and he almost killed me

I went back to drinking

thank god I only lasted for two years

last year my drinking I became a fighter

that year I think I had seventeen fights seventeen knockouts and I lost them all

none of the million range they're all in bars or anywhere I could find somebody to fight

because I was a negative thinker and I was a rebel and I was mad at the world

and you people know what I'm talking about

I talk about fighting because it was fighting that brought me to Alcoholics Anonymous

the last night that I drink

I got in a fight with a man that weighed two hundred and sixty five pounds

I was in a poker game with him

he didn't like

the fact that I didn't have enough money to pay off the debt

he was a little narrow about that

and he looked pretty small to me because I was drunk

and he almost killed me

and you know you

how I was respected in the city at that time

he knocked me down and cement floor

and the people the people that I know today an associate with and rub shoulders with

they just left me lying there

and none of them pick me up

they just stepped over me

the next day I went to a doctor

and I know that some people criticized doctors

but this doctor save my life

he put me in a hospital he built me up physically

and he sat down beside my bed

he said sees

I have done everything that I can do for you

I have built yep basically

and now the rest is up to you

and I said oh what should I do

and he said I would suggest that you joined Alcoholics Anonymous

every January sixteenth nineteen fifty two

he didn't only suggested I join Alcoholics Anonymous

he went and brought Alcoholics Anonymous to me

and I'll be ever grateful that he did this

and I can still remember the two guys that came to see me

one of them was a sloppy as drunk I'm sure in all of Canada

and he was dressed up and it was clean and his hair was called in the shoes were shining

we had a silk shirt and bow tie on

he didn't have to talk

all you have to do is standing

but he talked

they don't know what you people had

the other job was a job that I've been in the army with

and he received five years in a penitentiary for rob with violence and he found Alcoholics Anonymous net penitentiary

and he to tell me about Alcoholics Anonymous

two days later I got out of hospital

and I'll never forget that morning it was cold

I had given the sister at this Catholic hospital a bad check for a private ward that I wanted to have

and she wouldn't let me out of hospital until such time as I paid this check

meantime the Alcoholics Anonymous boys had talked to my wife

the Allentown girls have been up to see her

I don't know what they told her but she didn't come to see me in the hospital

she left me there

I didn't have a razor

buttons were all ripped off my shirt

and it's hard to not have resentments for this you know with my wife

but he did the right thing

I wish you could've seen me that morning and I hope I never forget it

I had to phone my bootlegger get me out of hospital

because he was the only one of my credit was any good with

Negro made downtown and at that time there were about seven or eight nine or ten I don't know how many people in Alcoholics Anonymous my town

and they had an emergency meeting on a Saturday morning

and I was sitting there with a big overcoat on it was about thirty below zero

no buttons on my shirt

it was warm in the cafe where I was supposed to meet these people

and they came in

with their smart remarks

welcome home states can help

happy new year

we've got it for you

I didn't really appreciate what they were saying

but I was happy that somebody cared

that somebody would make me

and show me that they did care

and they took me home

and that was one of the first miracles that I had an Alcoholics Anonymous

because baby wasn't mad when I got home

because you wonderful Allemand gals have been up to see

and I couldn't believe it Hey guys

this is never happened before

but it happened that morning

and I knew that something was happening to me

and that night we went to our first meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous maybe not

and I can remember that night Blagojevich tonight was a Saturday night

and I can remember those dear people playing stupid games like pin the tail on the donkey

that little social and they were doing all of these stupid things

really really I thought some of them had been drinking

I even know some of the

after the social had a meeting

and it was a good meeting

and after the meeting it was about two o'clock in the morning

they don't win another room to them

and they said there are no mas in Alcoholics Anonymous

but there's a meeting tomorrow morning at eight o'clock and you must be there

and I'm glad they talked to me like that

because I believe that's the only language that I understood

and thank god that I'm still going

I've never stopped

I was the youngest member in Alcoholics Anonymous in our town

and this is good for my ego

they patted me on the back

I broke my anonymity many times in the small town of twenty eight thousand people

telling the people how bad it was and what it happened

I get the more pats on the back

the older members would say stay here doing real good just keep it up everything's gonna turn out fine

and I was real happy

and then all of a sudden something happens

some remember start coming to Alcoholics Anonymous

and they forgot about six

and this is a horrible thing to happen to you

and I know what happened to some of you right now

I became what is known as a middle name

you're like a hole in the donut you're not

D. O. members go right by you when they talk to the old members and they all members go right by you and they talk to the young

they don't even like to make a copy

you just not

please don't let that happen in your group

because it is a real bad feeling to be nothing in Alcoholics Anonymous

because I was nothing for too long

it just about that time

none of the people in our group know to much about Alcoholics Anonymous

and we used to talk about how much we drank

and I used to have to tell some horrible stories to keep up with these old timers

I used to live a little bit

but I stayed with them

but suddenly there became a void in my life

avoid that I couldn't understand

and I don't know what was happening to me

thank god just about that time we had a cap in our group

his name was Ernie Ernie is not dead he died two years ago of heart attack

and we're turning eighty would care

the next group meeting for three months

I know that I will care if we will do what I want to do

and we said what is that

and did I want to go through the steps I want to start at step one

and I want to go through the steps and I want all of the groups not only to go through the steps I want all of the group to take the steps

and he said I don't care if the queen of England comes into Alcoholics Anonymous we are not going back to step one

we are going to sponsor them until such time as we get back to step one

we thought it was a little bit punchy but we let him do it

that is the greatest thing that ever happened to me

because I took a look at step one

we made a policy over alcohol that our lives have become unmanageable

I knew that I was powerless over alcohol

but I had never looked at the manageability of my life and I'm not talking about when I was drinking I'm talking about when I was over

when I came to Alcoholics Anonymous I owed sixty two hundred dollars

I didn't know sixty two hundred dollars for a car a house to Chesterfield I just told sixty two hundred dollars

I had nothing to pay it back for

I had a boss

who is very good to me

and he took me to the bank and endorsed my note

an inmate Babe and I signed a paper that we would never charge of anything again we pay for everything by cash this fellow was an alcoholic

and we signed the paper

and about two years later he bailed us out again for about seventy five hundred

for you see I was trying to buy my way back into society

I was trying to buy my way back into my family

and I had an unmanageable life as far as money is concerned

now I know this never happens to anybody in United States

but I mention it that happens to some alcoholics up in Canada

and I had that unmanageable life and I learned it by studying and doing step one the way it's supposed to be done

and we went on in that beautiful step to

and it came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity

and I was one of these people I told you I came from a spiritual home

I got out in this cruel world and I started to run the show by myself

I had lost faith

thanks to those people in that group the people that were older than me

both an agent in Alcoholics Anonymous

they took me by the hand and they explained this step to me when we studied

in the book

I did like the words restore me to send

because my idea of being restored to sanity was I must have been in a mental hospital I'd never been

so why should I try to come back from somewhere I'd never be

and that's bothered me

and then one of the

dear people in my life

he said they stink up your insane thank

think of your negative thinking

any good I think you will realize that you

where and still are insane

and I would say that was

I can remember one time going to Saskatoon Saskatchewan that something if you want to practice

it's about a hundred miles where we live

and I remember going there for an interview for a big job I always got a big job

and I went to another hotel not the one where I was supposed to have the interview

and I got drunk

I never had the interview

I went home

and they said to me how did you make up

and I said real good I just have to wait for a letter

now there's nothing wrong with that little white lie like that you've all done

but when you start going to the mailbox every morning looking for the latter

I would suggest that maybe I was just a little bit and say

and then that third step

said made a decision

to turn out well in our lives over to the care of god as we understand

I didn't like that stamp

because they mention the word god

and once again

this man came to me and he said look it sees you at an unmanageable life

instead to you found a manager

instead three all you have to do is turn your well in your life over to the care of this manager

thank god I was stupid

thank god I didn't try to figure anything else out

and if you're having problems whether you're in Allentown Alcoholics Anonymous allocate it wherever you are

please be stupid

and do this

because it saved my life and it's got me here tonight

because so many people who are so intelligent

and they're so intelligent that they're stupid and they don't know what

I'm not taking anybody's inventory I'm trying to clear up a point

because I know that I was stupid enough to do it this way and it worked

and after all Dr Bob asked us to keep it simple

and so I went on to that forced them

and it made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves

and I heard so many people

I would ask people how do you take the four step

some of the all time is it don't worry about that

he does it

you get worried about those things

and I find out why

they couldn't tell me about them because they had never done them them saps

and when we came to this step for

did we get a pencil and a paper

and you know what that is the toughest part about that step four Alcoholics Anonymous is getting a pencil in the paper

there's a lady is going take a four step already

I didn't realize

but what I love to talk about it because because so many people push it aside

and it's so important

because everyone of us can go out tonight and we can take everybody else's in

and we can do I. rail fine job

but we can't seem to get that a little pencil and paper and do it for ourselves

I'm talking to Allentown and I'm talking to alcoholics and then not let anybody off the hook

and I'm going to give you an easy way to take your step four if some if you're having problems I hope that you all take

tonight when you go to that sweet little room and we might as well do it when when Brownwood because we say we get all of these things here all right I'm sorry Blackstone

we might as well do it right now

get a pencil in the paper

and the person that you dislike most in the world

you know the brother that got all the money

they got all the breaks

the guy at the job we got all the promotions

I don't know who it might be that there's somebody out there did you just like

and start writing down what you dislike about

I don't write down everything that you dislike about

and then when you're all finished put your own name laptop

and I guarantee you'll come pretty close to taking your own in

because usually what we dislike in other people is really what is wrong with us

and I can promise you that works

because I did it

and then the first step five

made it to god do ourselves into another human being the exact nature of Iraq's

you know the toughest part of step five

toughest thing about step by step for

I got to take steps for you will want to take step by

because you've taken two thirds of it

even made it to god do yourself

now you have to do is gonna wrap up to somebody else

how great you are how bad

and if you haven't done it

please consider doing

because it will give you freedom

and it will let you walk hand in hand with everybody in a free man

and it will let you let go and let god

and I can say this because I know because it happened to me

and then it comes to step six

it says we're entirely ready

I have god remove all these defects of character

now they get a little tough

we really haven't done anything

we come here because we got a problem

with the minute we got an unmanageable life would turn it over to a manager

written down what is wrong with this

we gonna wrapped up to somebody else about it

and now they give it to us

and they were entirely ready to have god remove all these defects of character

he got a twelve by twelve and read it

it says this is the step that separates the men from the boys

try

it's beautiful

seven humbly asked

to remove my short comings

I don't know what they meant

when I came to Alcoholics Anonymous when they talked about humility

I hope I never really know what to do me

I found out my own little definition

and it is the ability to stand

and the willingness to nail

yeah I was one of these people that came to Alcoholics Anonymous

I told everybody how to print

don't underpriced Danny not walking down the street right now horseback

right in airplanes driving a car driving a tractor whatever they might be doing but I never ever told anybody to pray but get down on your knees

because I couldn't get down there myself

thanks to DO shy Walker

good friend weather nice I imagine that many of you people knew shy he's not dead

John I was in New York delegate with us when we are delegates to general service conference and believe in nineteen fifty seven

the guy told us about how he had a difficult time getting down on his knees

they told us how he came out of a prison

and he told us how we had a high top those

we don't have a one night by mistake he kicked the high top boots underneath the bed